Latest / The Padded Cell Podcast / SPECIAL - Two Dominatrix - Two Generations - Lady C meets Lady Eden

Transcript

SPECIAL - Two Dominatrix - Two Generations - Lady C meets Lady Eden · The Padded Cell Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Are you having a load of all the two telephones?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: People do unable in anything else.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you found your people! Joining all the stuff! We crack open the door to the puff and cell and release in family stupid winly wonderful and those who choose to live on the side of the side wonderful.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: We've developed the strange number of the things we have.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're a deviant, then you have your platform in the puff and cell.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Hey guys, I'm on my own.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I on my own?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because I am waiting for somebody to join me today, and they're not one of our regular hosts.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Who are they?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Today I am meeting Georgie.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't expect any of you to have heard of her.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: She's not a famous Dominatrix, nothing like that.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Who she is is somebody who hasn't been on the scene that long.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Not as long as me, anyway.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know exactly how long we're going to find all this out, but she's newish and she's done some sessions at a townhouse.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I got to know her from her sessions in townhouse a little bit.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: And what I did find out was really interesting.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: She seems like a really interesting lady.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know whether you've got a stereotypical dominatrix in your mind now.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: Having seen me, am I a typical dominatrix?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: But she doesn't seem like a typical dominatrix when you first meet her.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really looking forward to meeting her today.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to do a full episode interview with her.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not really too sure where it's all gonna go.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't got a plan, I haven't got any questions.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: Just a cup of tea, maybe some snacks, see how she feels.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: And um we're just gonna see where the convo goes.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: But some of the things I want to find out because she's a new pro Dominatrix, I want to know what it's like now to be a new pro dominatrix.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Is it the same as what it was like when I first started out?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because of how people access our services now and just the world's changed a little bit, especially since COVID.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm really interested to know what it's like to be a new pro dominatrix now.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: What are the challenges?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: What does she enjoy?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, any regrets, and maybe do some comparisons from when I was a young pup.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: So um yeah, I'm just waiting for an hour.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've got my cup of tea, waiting for the doorbell, and I just thought I'd jump on and uh give you a little taster of what's to come.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll see on the other side.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh right, cheers!
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not very much to see, is it?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Pine glass.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, cheers.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: So, welcome to the padded cell.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: How does it feel to be on the set of the thing that you've been watching and listening to?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's brilliant.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: I I love it, it's so exciting to see it in real life.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: It looks so different to how it is online.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: It actually looks a bit bigger, doesn't it?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose to think when you're watching it online, it looks a lot bigger.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: But it's actually only quite a small room, it's uh beefier and compact, but it does what it needs to do.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're in the hot seat.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: I am indeed.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm up but I'm not happy being on this.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: This is my bad side though.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, is this?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna have to try and think this through the whole session.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, the um the seats and arrangements are non-negotiable because this is my side of the bed.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, but um anything, anything in life, if I've got to sit somewhere, it's gotta be on the left-hand side.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So sleep on the left and everything, obviously, apart from driving.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: But in this situation, it's just non-negotiable.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: When we were in the studio years ago, well, actually might have been last year, uh, we tried to swap the seats round.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I sat on the other side and it lasted for about five seconds.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, nope, stop it over, don't like it.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Neither of us liked it was really anybody.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: So we're here, it's a get to know you.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you're a professional dominatrix.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: I am, as am I, um, and you've been doing a little bit less than me.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_03: Just a little bit.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Just a little bit.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um I just thought it'd be dead good for us and for them to learn about what we do as professional dominatrix, but how it differs.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: So uh, from when you started to when I started, it's a completely different ball game, completely different arena, especially since COVID.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: How people find us is different and all that.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I've talked about my professional life quite a lot.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's it's old, it's way back.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know what it's like now to be a professional dominatrix.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we're gonna uh weave our way through that first, I think, and then we'll just see where it all goes.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, probably go off on those little tangents.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: That sound good.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: It's brilliant, yeah.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm really excited to hear about what it was like when you first started as well.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, completely different.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: But in the meantime, we'll just um have a little slurp.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: As you can see, uh we've um we're well oiled.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: We've we decided as soon as it turned up, we thought it's Friday.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like fuck it.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: You turned up with a bottle of red wine, I'm like, I'm gonna have a new drink and wine, I'm being having a beer.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: So change everybody.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's Friday here, so happy Friday.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: Happy Friday.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: So oh that's lovely.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that could be the first of many.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know when a drink is unexpected and you have that first drink and you're like, hmm, if this could end up being one of those unplanned getting pissed days.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know those nights out and you're just like, I'm just gonna go for a little drink after work, and you're rolling at two o'clock and it's been like the best night.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: This could end up being like that scenes I'm drinking at this time of the day.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: The unplanned ones are the best ones, exactly, and you're getting picked up, so you can drink your whole bottle if you want.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: I could always ding Jim and say to give us a little fill up.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's downstairs.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: So let's dive in.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so tell us how long you've been a professional dominatrix.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: Just nine months.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I know all you like, only nine months.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I remember my first year.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: I think I did more and learned more in my first year than all the rest of the time.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're learning chaos like that, isn't it?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's less vertical.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: And the hours that you put in in those nine months, it's like it's like a full-time job.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't sound a lot, but I bet you've experienced a lot already.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh my goodness.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: When I think back to my first two weeks and what those sessions looked like to now, it is such a huge difference.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I can't, I probably will, but I can't quite imagine there's gonna be loads of change after that.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like you said, I think it all happens in the first yeah, yeah.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think what it is, you don't know what you don't know at first, and you have this preconceived idea of how it's all gonna pan out, and then real people come into the mix with all their needs and quirks, and everything that you thought you knew goes right out the window.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you might have like some basics, but you'd literally learn on the job.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: You literally learn the job.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: You might I did some social play and all that before, hands had an idea, but the leap from social domination to professional domination is massive.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the expectations are different, aren't they?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so, in that short nine months, you've probably learned everything you need to know now to take you forward, and the rest of it's just fine-tuning and finding out what you like, yeah, isn't it?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what has been the most surprising thing that's happened to you?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mean as in a sub doing something, as professional dominatrix, what's been the big surprise for you that you just weren't expecting?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh, honestly, probably probably the amount of admin, the amount of emails, the amount of messages, the amount of back and forth in organisation.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I had this idea in my head naively that people would just email me, hi, this is what I'm interested in.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: I want to do this date, and that that'll be that.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_03: But absolutely not.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think I genuinely spend more time doing admin than I do in actual sessions.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: The messaging backwards and forwards to me was just a pain in the arse.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Some people know what they want, but they've still got a lot of questions.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: Some people are literally just messaging you with the pant around their ankles, and it's down to us to figure out the ones who are serious and the ones that aren't.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: The time wasted.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean, I don't know what you charge per hour, I don't want to know what you charge per hour.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: But people often say, gosh, you earn a lot of money.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you're like, no, no.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um if you do this properly, there's quite a lot of expenses, and actually the time that you put into each client, if you break that down into hours, it's not just the one or two hours that you're sitting with them in in session, it's all the time you put in before and after, as well, isn't it?
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: So our hourly raise actually isn't that great.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if you do it by hour from what you're actually putting into the the entire job itself, yeah, yeah, it's not yeah.
• 9:03
  unknown: Yeah.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: So the admin as being a big shocker.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think so, yeah.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: And um also we touched on it a second ago, just the time wasters.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: I knew there would be some.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_03: But I just I can't believe there's so many people out there that just sit at home and intentionally just try and get as much time out of me as possible without giving me a penny or without having any intention of booking.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_03: And yeah, it is difficult to um sometimes you can tell straight away when they're a time wasters or you can tell straight away, but I've I've got this um I've got names for them now.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: There's normal time wasters, and then I call them professional time wasters when they know exactly they must have been doing it for years and used loads of trial and error, yeah, and they know exactly how to keep you hanging on.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Have you had uh somebody from the northeast who um wants to wear certain knickers and they they go on about these knickers that they want to wear?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Most mistresses get unless this person's dead now, because this that this person's been doing it for years, to be honest.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: When I very first started this person Well, you know, they could be couldn't they have been around a while, but they handed me for a little bit, and I was dead police, and in the end I went, Look, it doesn't matter what accent you put on, I know it's the same person, and now we're different phone phone numbers you use.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because you ask the same questions every time.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so stop phoning me.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: I said, and I'm also gonna be showing you these nails now though the other mistresses because you're just an arsehole, basically.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: But they carried on regardless.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think I've had you haven't had the pleasure.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they are dead, maybe they don't or just too old to be bothered now about wearing knickers and hounding mistresses.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: But um you know what?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Even after years, you think you've got it you've got its sauces and you've got its suss, and then there's one person who's very clever.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, uh you're like, oh it's great, it's gonna be a gonna be a book and nothing, you're giving it loads of time, you're like, Oh, you're little bastard, you got me there.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: They do, they get really clever with it.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_03: There's been people that have I have a general rule for myself, which is if they after three back and forth messages, if they've emailed me more than three times, I need to start getting my guard up then.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: Thinking I'm not gonna keep playing into all these questions, I'm just gonna start asking for a deposit now.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um so I have these um rules, but they are really, really good at on that kind of almost th they almost know, like that third email to word it in a way where I think, oh no, they're genuinely gonna book it.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: They are professional time wasters, they really really are.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: Cocking's hand.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's what that's all they're doing, isn't it?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's just wank fodder.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: It really, really is, and uh it was frustrating and annoying at first because you're like, oh, you know, but it just goes with the territory, unfortunately.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're never gonna get rid of them.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're not gonna get rid of them, and also a thing I find really frustrating is it ruins it for other people, yeah.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: Because there I I I think there's been really, really genuine um clients out there who just needed a little bit more time to talk to me, who just needed a few more questions answering.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: But because I've had so many time wasters, I have to start thinking, oh, am I really gonna be able to give this time to you?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so it's ruining it for people like that as well.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: It does, it does definitely because then you find yourself getting a little bit short and abrupt sometimes with people like you because of the previous experiences.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: But some guys they do need a little bit of nurturing to come through the door, and it's establishing which is which is difficult, isn't it?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it says then sometimes you do end off giving a bit more of yourself and they're like kicking yourself down because it's yet another time waste, like you know, but it does just go with the job, but yeah, when you do get the clients uh through the door, it does make it all worth it.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm sure you've probably had some clients that you weren't expecting, maybe you know, you thought, oh, this is gonna be great or whatever, and then they've turned up and you're like, that didn't go the way I planned.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Have you had a few of those?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: You've got the examples.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_03: Caning, I always caning always goes wrong.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: I always have to say to people, are you sure?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: Because I get emails from people being like, I've done this for 20 years, I want a really hard thrashing, I want serious, serious can, and I think I can do that.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and um, yeah, and then they they leave and they're complaining that um I went too hard.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: So um I don't know if it's what it's quite what you're saying, but definitely people that aren't sure what they want.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah, definitely.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: I again the preconceived ideas that people have, and I think a bit of bravado sometimes with guys, you know, because you're a mistress and all that.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe she's not gonna be able to do it quite so hard.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but also I think they set themselves off as well.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like this per the people that say, I've been I haven't done better for 20 years, they probably haven't.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's what I think.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, you just set yourself up to be beaten black and blue and not enjoy it one little bit.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Be honest, yeah, you've got to enjoy it, and they've got to enjoy it.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I I used to say to the guys.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: This discussion that we're having now really isn't about you know, all of your kinks and can I can I fulfil them for you?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I probably can.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: But it's actually figuring out this mutual interest and respect, and so when you come along, you get the most out of the scene.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: So don't go telling me you've been getting cane for 20 years, because then I have an assumption that you've got like rhinoceros leather for an arse and I can go in, you know, like really hard, because that's what you're asking for.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: But if that's not the case, then please don't say that because you're gonna walk away dissatisfied, and I'm not into it first, you know.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you do get these guys, don't you, who you know, they say that you can take X, Y, and Z and then they walk away like practically in tears.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I had one guy it wasn't hard enough for them.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: I've talked about it before, so I won't talk about it again, but I had my suspicions about this guy that he wanted to be beaten so hard for a reason.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like somebody's done something bad.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't it wasn't the way we beat people for like you know the release of endorphins or command and respect and all that kind of thing.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: This guy just wanted to be beaten like punishment, and it wasn't in like a role play, he just said, I know you're hard, and I know you're gonna hit hard.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's the way I've come to you.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I need you to hit me hard, cold, as hard as you possibly can, for as long as you possibly can.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: And oh my god, mate.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: I had to call it.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you stopped it.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was going for it like mad, and um, I was like, I said to him, I don't think I can go as hard as you need me to go.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: I am using everything, and and he said, Yeah, I agree, and we just we just stopped.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and um, but there's just something about him, and I was like, there's a reason why you want to be beaten this bad, and he just gave me the e bjeebies, so he got barred.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: He wasn't coming back.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Has anybody here given you the e bjeebs?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: In what way?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um how they speak, just it's but it's you know what?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think it just comes down to human intuition.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: I think we've all got this you call it spidey sense.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, so it's not anything that I can actually give you a f an explicit example of, or you know, really give you oh, they said this.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's more just as you're speaking to them or anything, or you know, or if they're there in session, it's just that feeling in the stomach where your instinct's just kind of like something's not right here.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um you gotta trust those instincts as well.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and you always taught me that because when I went to the school of kink and everything, yeah, um, you all you always said the money's not worth it.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: If if something doesn't feel right, it's because it's not interest just by the senses.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I those words are always echoing through my head when I'm speaking to someone, and I just think, oh, I just feel a bit off.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: Um I did have somebody who booked a session with me, never seen him before.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um and as soon as a deposit was paid, he changed and he started saying things like, Oh, I can't wait to see how weak you are.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I can't, um, I can't wait to be the first sub that you haven't got control over.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh instant refund of deposit.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, I said to him straight away, I was like, I thought what he was trying to do was be like, you know, those bratty subs.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, can't stand brats.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: But obviously they do it on purpose to give you an opportunity to put them into their place.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: So it's part of the um the dynamic.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's part of the dynamic, and it's still it's still them giving you an opportunity to make them more submissive.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I said that to him straight away.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_03: I just said, you know, if you if you're a bratty sub, you need to let me know before you start speaking to me like this, and also wait for the session.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: And he said, Oh, okay, I'm really, really sorry, and all this.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: And then when this was a an old uh the dungeon that worked out when I first started, but there was a flood there.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: The dungeon was fine, but there was some workmen um just outside.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: So I just messaged him on the day of the session just saying, There's workmen here, the dungeon's fine, so you can still come along.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: But if if you're not comfortable, you know, walking down the corridor, then just let me know.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_03: And he said, No, I'm not comfortable.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: Can you send me my deposit back?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's not my fault, and um we'll rebook for another time.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Do you not agree with that?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I think he's playing playing a game there.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh well, I I sent him his deposit back anyway.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Because I did think it wasn't his fault.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, there is workmen right outside the door.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, yeah, I suppose so.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, if you're really, really, really invested in something, so just like get past that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Would you have to have walked past the workman to get in?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Could you have asked the workman just to like step aside just for two seconds while he walked through?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: I suppose I could, but I think this is the point I was going on to.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: I had a really bad feeling in my stomach about this guy.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: So when he messaged back and said, Um, I'll leave it uh if you can send me the deposit back.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: Normally I'd be so upset about that.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: But you're relieved.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: I've just got this massive relief.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I just thought, your words again, I thought that's my spidey senses talking to me.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: There's a reason why I feel so relieved.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: So sent him his deposit back, and then um a week or so later, I don't know, he uh messaged again trying to book in, and I just thought, if I felt that much relief not seeing you, I need to listen to that.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I I ignored him.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: And then after a few days, he replied back um to me.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: He sent me a message saying, Um reply to me, you bitch.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, there you go, your spider sensors were right.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: I just thought, there you go, that's exactly why I was feeling the way I was feeling.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't know if this answers your question actually.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_03: No, absolutely, yeah, he bejeebies, yeah.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: So I just thought, thank God, yeah, that that that a flood happened or there was work went there because you know, if you think it's okay to use that kind of language of someone just because you're not getting a message from them and I'm gonna be in a room alone with you.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: The universe is looking out for you on that day, I think.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think so, yeah.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: You do get guys sometimes who test you and push you, uh and they're not like real submissive, so like they're not challenge you, but I don't know, I f I feel like I can wheedle them out pretty quickly because they can't maintain it in messaging.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: They they start off, you know, but they they can't maintain it.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um so you do get guys trying to challenge you in that way, um, and I'm sure you know I've I have had a couple, you know, in the in the recent years, they still side swipe me every now and then.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: It just goes a territory.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: They're very fucking clever things going on.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that was close to the beginning.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, like I said, it was when I worked in the very first dungeon I worked in, so that was really, really close to the beginning.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_03: But I think now I wouldn't have as soon as I got those those tingles.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: The EBGBs, as you said, as soon as I got them, I would have probably just been known out.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to because um your safety is paramount, yeah, and you're doing a job.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, for as much as it's sex industry, as also industry or whatever, you're going to work.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: Would you put yourself at risk going to any other job?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Would you put yourself in a dangerous position in any other job when there's something in the back of your mind saying this all feels wrong?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, you wouldn't.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Just because you're a professional dominatrix needs to assert power and be an assertive woman doesn't mean that all you know sense goes out the window and you ignore those spikes senses more so actually, you know, when there's this power dynamic, if you've got the wrong guy in the room and they suddenly turn on you, you're fucked.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: And again, I'm I might have said it in school of kink, you might have heard it on the podcast.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: But when a guy has got in, that maybe it's the first time and I'm not exactly sure how he's going to react to things, or maybe in conversation, I've got the E BGBs, but there's something.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: The first thing I do when I get them in the dungeon, I strip them down naked, first of all.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: So there's obviously that, you know, power thing, first of all.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm clothed, he's not.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: So he's vulnerable.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Then I'll put them in uh bondage straight away.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm like, I don't know this guy, I haven't had much of a communication with him.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: The session day just started, I'm not too sure how he's going to react to my commands, hits, whatever.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and so I put them in bondage straight away.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: So if something happens, they can't get out of bondage.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so it's the first thing.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: I do now.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'll put them in handcuffs first.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: So as soon as the stripped out handcuffs, and then if I haven't got a plan, because sometimes I do winger because I quite like to do that sometimes.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh what equipment I'm going to use.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm like, right, okay.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to put you on there, undo the handcuffs, straight into the restraint on the equipment.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's just it's for my safety, it also puts them in a mindset as well.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: That I'm the boss, yeah, you're the one restrained, you can't do nothing, and you're naked.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it puts them in a mindset straight away.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: But any thoughts that they might have had of uh baiting you or whatever, berating you, as soon as they're naked and shackles, it sort of like uh diffuses all of that.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um, and there's only one time that I did it, and I'm like, oh, thank god I did that.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: The rest of the times I've been like, okay, it turned out fine, but I've I've protected myself, I felt I felt safe and everything was fine.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's just one particular guy, and um, I don't know, a bit feisty, not just brassy, feisty.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh I'm glad I put you in shells.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was fine, it ended out fine, but I think he might have tried to have challenged me a little bit.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: So put him in heavy bondage so he couldn't really move very much.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's just sort of uh adjusting, isn't it?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: Your session to according to the situation and how you feel in the situation.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Some guys never put in bondage.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Never.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because I trusted them implicitly, they trusted me and all that.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: Have you got any clients that you've gone, I've really enjoyed that in the healthy booth again?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, all the time.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh really?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: So you've had quite a lot that you've really enjoyed.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because it can be hit and miss.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: It can be hit and miss, but yeah, all the time.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: I've got so many, yeah, so many clients that are just and yeah, quite I think if I feel like that, it rubs off on them, and they feel like that as well.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: So thankfully, a lot of them that I have felt like that over are have come back and are you know regulars, which is absolutely brilliant.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: But yes, I I love those sessions where yeah, they leave and you just think I had so much fun and everything just was perfect.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: That that hormone high is brilliant, isn't it?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: After a good session, they're walking out, like walking on a beaming, rosy cheeked, both of them, and you can just tell that the endorphins and the do-hamines just make them high as fuck.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're riding on the adrenaline and the do-hamine as well, because if you've been putting some physical exertion into it, and just the thrill, oh, it's viadictive.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: The thrill of exerting that power wherever it's that you do in the session, and the dynamic just works.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: You get what you want, they get what they want.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're fucking flying on the hormones, you just come away, you're like, he's a ciggy now, yeah.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like after sex, but without the sex, yeah, it is, yeah.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you know, it's not a sexual act, but the hormones that are released, you get that same euphoria sometimes, don't you?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's why BZSM can be quite addictive, yes, really, isn't it?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and you're finding that you is addicted the right the right word, but you're finding that you want to do it more and more as you as you're doing more sessions.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm um I'm booking in too many sessions to be honest.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: Do you mind me asking on average how many you get, like a month, say?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: On average.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um what seven times four?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think about average is about seven or eight a week.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: But sometimes that can be way more, yeah, and then sometimes it can be way less.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: But I think on average it is about seven, yeah, seven or eight a week.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's great.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: And are they one hour sessions or sometimes longer?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes longer.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, that'll be a mixture of like mostly one hour.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: But a mixture between one hour to the odd three hour in there.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: Do you like doing the longer session to three hour sessions?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: It depends what the content is.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: It completely depends what it is.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: If they want full feminisation, you know, be dressed up.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: You can easily fill for the hours doing that.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that takes a long time, and you like you want to take your time with things like that.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: You want it to be special for them as well.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um especially if it's not a humiliation thing, if they genuinely feel comfortable.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like pegging, water sports, all this kind of thing, then I love the um longer sessions, but if they yeah, if they book a four-hour session and then they just say, Oh, I'm just into a bit of bondage and bits of time tea.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_03: So just say, well, why give me more?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_03: You do you want me to do that?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: I can do it for four hours if you want, but I don't know if that's if that's what you want.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: How do you feel about being locked in the padded cell for two hours while I have a little cup of tea and catch up on my emails?
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're not really giving me much here.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'll just chuck you in the cage for half of that.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, me, I've had guys like that, and they've literally just wanted to be chucked in the dog cage, and I'm like, and they're paying highly for it.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, one guy's bringing his own shackles and everything along.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: You want his home, his comforts with them?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: God, the lagers make me dead burpee.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Should have had wine instead.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: I can't drink red wine.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: As I told you before, the reason why.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: God, the lagers make my dead burpee.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so I've got it out.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know, I normally do.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know to go bit.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: But because it's a dominatrix one, I don't really want to be unladylike.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, without naming your names, do you have like a favourite client that you're like, oh, I can't wait for this guy to come along, or have you got a couple?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'll have uh a couple.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely got a couple.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a handful even.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, have you?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so so yeah.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: How nice is that?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what?
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: After nine months, you've actually done really well to get like seven, eight sessions a week, and you're getting regulars coming back, and you've already got some like little pets that you like.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: I used to call them little pets.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: The ones that come regular.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: The little pets.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um just already to have that, you've done really, really well.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's a short space of time.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: But you think of the hours you're putting in.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: So you're doing seven, eight sessions a week, and they compare them from one to three hours.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's some domnatrics out there that might do one session a month, one session every two months, and they'll say, I've been for Domnatrix for ten years, but actually, the amount of time that they've put in is probably less than what you've put in in nine months, so it's all relative to the experience.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, there's I'm not saying that you need hands-on experience on the scene to be a good dominant, you know, being on the scene and just you know, being around similar people and watching and taking it all in, it adds to the experience, but actual hands-on experience that's a lot in nine months, and some people do work for years and don't get that amount of clients.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm sure you take this in the right way, your age is definitely going for you, um, and you've got a nice look as well, so I can see why guys would be attracted to you as a dominatrix.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because there's quite a lot of dominatrix out there, and you some of us are getting a bit older, we're not the aesthetic that the guys want.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so, when a new young Dominatrix comes along, you know, I'm sure they're they're all made up, and you know, obviously it's coming through in your sessions, which is really, really, really good.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Seven eggs a week's really great.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_03: Do you think I I'm really happy you said that actually, because um because I wasn't sure I've got nothing to compare it to.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, it's good.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: And um it did, it did, it took a while to get there.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_03: I remember the f like I think I said for the first three months it was really scary.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was struggling to even get one or two a week.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um but I think I think it's uh how much time you put into it.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't have another job.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: I think a lot of ladies do have jobs as well as um and I could just throw everything into it.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: So every waking hour of my life for the first you know six months was just completely into it.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: What can I do better?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: What can how can I change my website?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_03: What do I need to put on socials which I've never been on before?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: No, really, before now, right?
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: I wasn't a social media person, so obviously.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well you've got to be in this job.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_03: You've got to have Twitter and stuff like that.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_03: So but I just put everything into it.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I I was working, you know, I take jobs at 9am and then I take jobs at 9 pm.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: So I think if you but obviously not everyone's lucky enough to be able to do that if they've got kids and they've got jobs and stuff.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: So I think maybe if you think I'm doing well, I think that's all it is.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_03: I think I don't think it's anything else but just you put the graft in.
• 30:02
  unknown: Yeah.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: You put the graft in.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: I think so anyway, but yeah, you have.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I think when I've had other people come approach me over the years, especially since the Pazel, loads of people have come to me and like, I really want to be a professional job of nature because I need to earn a few extra quid.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you and I know this is not the job to do if you want to earn a few extra quid because it's really hard.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, really hard work.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I say to them, you know, it's actually quite disrespectful to me and my you know fellow mistresses to say that you can just like you know pick a few tools off, whack a few people around and earn the money that we do.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: One, they don't just fall at the knees, you know, falling through the door, you know, waiting for you to beat them and handing over all that money.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to go find the clients, and actually, this is a business.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: So you have just really nicely explained what it takes actually as a new dominatrix.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't just tailing up in your boots and looking nice and your makeup and all the rest of it, the graft that goes in to setting up your business because you are the product, you need to sell yourself, and most of us aren't used to doing that as females, especially nowadays.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: We're not used to selling ourselves out there, we are the product.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Come and invest in me, come and give me your 200 quid or whatever it is.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so just to switch that mindset first for that we're the product that we're selling, and then create the business and the the infrastructure around that to and you know to enable us to do this thing.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: It takes ages, it's a lot of hard work, you know, all the legal stuff, all your socials, like you say, all the admin side of it, photographs, your website.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah it's it's hard work, yeah.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why I wanted to get you on because it's still dead fresh in your mind.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: I can sort of remember, but it was just different times, then really.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I didn't we didn't have to be on social media all the time, so we found our clients in a different way.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really because people have heard a little bit about my story, so it's nice to hear now that you know you're a businesswoman at the end of the day, and your business happens to be in the adult industry and you're a dominatrix, but it doesn't make it any less of a business, um, and it's demonstrating that it still needs to be done properly.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you still need to put the hours in, you still need to make that contact with people.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't just about the hour in the dungeon, it's much, much, much, much more than that.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: That hour is actually a small part of everything that you do, isn't it?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's just kind of like just the very finished product behind a whole heap of because everything I've just said um a lot of that came even before I started even offering professional sessions because um I it was probably even a year, so I've been doing actual professional domination for nine months, and even probably a year before that I was preparing for it.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: So training, learning how to build a website, come to the school of king.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_03: Going to the school of king, that was brilliant.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_03: So, yeah, but for about so when you said about some people that said, Oh, I just need to earn a little bit of extra cash, I think it took me a year to even get to the point where I even launched my website and even started to just accept bookings, yeah.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_03: You did loads and loads of training, even though I'd I'd done loads of stuff before, you know, in my personal life, like you said, but it's very different, isn't it?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, my personal life, and I'd been to you know events and things, but I just knew I needed proper, proper training before I started this, and and uh yeah, I mean building a website, oh my gosh, I've never done anything like that before.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so I was thinking about doing um getting someone to do it for me, but you want more control, don't you?
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to have to call someone up every time, want to put a picture on there.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_03: So I had to learn how to build a whole website from scratch, I had to learn all about Google, console, things like that.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, and safety and finding the right dungeon as well, finding the right getting all your own equipment sorted, even if you've got some at home, you don't really want to use that.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to use that?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's your personal stuff, isn't it?
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's your personal stuff, and you're not gonna have everything.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_03: You're not gonna have, you know, depend well it depends who your partner is, but you're not necessarily gonna have a whole set of different size sounding um.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: What are they called?
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: Sounding the rods.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_03: Sounding rods.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_03: Rods, that's it.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, so even yeah, the whole year before I even did my first session was all just planning and learning and training and building stuff.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, so it's not something you can just wake up and be like, I fancy earning a bit of extra money next week.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so now that you've been through that process, you've obviously heard me saying before on the pod that I find it quite insulting, you know, that people say that they can just you know pick up a a flogger or a whip and um claim a room and um and do what we do, earn the money.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's really, really, really insulting.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: You've just demonstrated it took you a year to get to the point where you felt comfortable to take clients and you had all the foundations there that you needed.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's a big lesson.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: It really, really is it's not a two-minute decision, and actually, I think you need to um have the time as well to get used to the fact that you're gonna be a professional dominatrix, you're gonna work in the adult industry.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: When you've worked in the adult industry, that never leaves you, even when you try and leave it at some point.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: You might not want to, but you know, it it follows you around, and you need to get that straight in your head, and you know, so that year it's been really beneficial for you by the sounds of it.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you've really you built your foundations, you built your business, you've got straight in your head, you've got your website and everything sources, and to when you've you've took clients, you've been properly ready.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: You haven't just like you know, run into the room sideways, like slide and stop, like right, okay, where's my flogger?
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go! You know, and some people do, mate, they do.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm watching them like that going, fuck I know.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: Insults are the fucking profession.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they really are.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: And there's some amazing dominate chicks out there that have messed over the years, and um they represent the profession brilliantly, and that there's some out there and I'm like, you just haven't done the legwork at all.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how insulting is that?
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: So you don't have any gr regrets?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: The only regret I have is that I didn't do it sooner.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because I remember it must have been about ten years ago that I started thinking about doing it professionally.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: But you know what life's like?
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_03: There was always something in the way, or always something coming up, and I just thought, oh, I'll look into it after that happens, and ten years later I'm st I've still not done it.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um but yeah, I do I do remember about ten years ago kind of looking into it or um looking at how uh what what's the next steps I need to do?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so that's my only regret.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: And it has got to be the right time as well, hasn't it?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because you've just demonstrated how much work, time, commitment it takes.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: You can't be distracted by life and stuff that comes up.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's gotta be the right time, and obviously you thought about ten years ago, it took you this long to find the right time, and thank God you did.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: So do you do you think this is gonna be your job for the foreseeable now?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Can you see yourself doing anything else at all?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm actually a student.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to share what you're studying or not?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_03: No, that's fine.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: So I study psychology.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I want to be a clinical psychologist.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I've put loads of work effort into this, loads of years of my life, because it takes it it's one of those topics, it's one of those uh jobs that you have to study for m hundreds of years.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_03: But um now I've uh started doing professional sessions.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm scared that I'm never gonna use my qualifications.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_03: So how long have you got on your course?
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Until I'm completely qualified.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_03: Five years left.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_03: It takes that long.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I've been doing it already for a few years.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I took a year out though to focus on this.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I was saying, the whole year and put everything into this.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_03: I I again that's how difficult it is.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_03: You have to take a year out of your own studying to be able to do it properly.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um but I think that's just more of a backup, even though I'm really passionate about it.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_03: I would love to carry on doing pro Dom sessions forever.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: If I could do them both at the same time, work part-time psychologist, and then that that'd be the ideal.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think you probably could.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: You could maybe even combine the two.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: They are very, very interlinked.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they are.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about it a lot.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, bringing that into a session, I'm sure you could get quite creative with how you could um how you could bring the psychology aspects into mind play with clients.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: But maybe BDSM is a therapeutic for some people as well, you know, and maybe there's sort of you know that aspect of it could come in.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I mean obviously I don't know about your field, but already I'm like, hmm, there's some similarities there.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure there's a way you could interweave the two.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, definitely.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you've got two skill sets there.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you could bring them both together somehow.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: It is more the therapeutic side of it, because clinical psychology is more therapy, and um I do find myself um obviously I'm not qualified yet, so don't take any advice from me, but I do find myself, especially with again with the feminization and stuff, I do find myself um kind of like linking them back to psychological theories about why they're why they feel the you know, why they feel comfortable, the most comfortable like this.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_03: And it really does help me help them to uh you know achieve whatever they are through feminizational cissification and stuff.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: I wonder if there's an avenue, obviously carrying on pro-domination, where you can actually work with the BDSM community and you know work with people specifically who are you know questioning whatever their questions are, whether it be gender, sexuality, or why am I into this?
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I just feel weird.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you can work with people, you can session with people on both sides on a professional, both professional sides.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: I can I could see how this could actually be like a really interesting journey where both of your passions collide.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_03: That would be amazing.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_03: That is absolutely my dream.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_03: I would absolutely love how great that.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that would be absolutely amazing.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, my midwifery and domination doesn't go hand in hand, unfortunately.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_03: Sure, there's somewhere where they cross over a little bit.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, occasionally, I was normally good cop in the delivery room.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was normally lead midwife, um, but occasionally if I was brought in as the second midwife, you know, to catch the baby, or if somebody just needs a it sounds bad, not bullying is a terrible word, but you know, so it just needs a little bit of like encouragement or you know, threatened with fear, don't push harder.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: You call it bad cop.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, is there a good cop and bad copy?
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_03: There is delivery.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_03: There is, there is.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: But not always, you don't hardly ever need it.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes um a lady, they've just they're depleted of energy, they haven't eaten to eat properly, they've been pushing for ages, they're on drugs which doesn't necessarily help with pushing.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: The partner might be a little bit stressed out, doesn't know what to do.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: And they're just coming to the end of like the the uh the amount of effort they can put in, it's all expended, but they have got it there, they just need to be reminded.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: And one midwife who's been with you all the time sometimes isn't enough because you form this nice little close bond for that time, this trusting bond.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not right at that time to say, look, if you don't do this, you're gonna end out with a with an epesiosomy or going to theatre, you don't want to do that.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, what we do is we bring the bad cop in, and it doesn't mean you're gonna bully them, it doesn't mean that at all.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: It just means that you're the realist in the room.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: You haven't been sitting there for all these hours forming this relationship and building this trust.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're the person with the facts.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't get this baby out in an hour, we're gonna end out having a forceps here, you know?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: But you say it in a nice way.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: So occasionally I would be bad cop and I'd come floating in, and we're like, Oh, we're still here.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well, do you know what?
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a race, how are we getting on?
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever you are, to the midwife.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right, okay.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, do you know what?
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: We've got 45 minutes and with all the time in the world that we need, but if we don't do it by then, I've got to get the doctor, and you know, and no always want a doctor because it's all the girls together, isn't it?
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: So let's crack on.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd use a different language.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: See, the midwife is being all nicey, nicey, and all the rest of it.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd be like, right, come on then.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I just get it going, and um, and all of a sudden the energy in the room would shift and they'd go, right, okay.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as you say doctor, I thought, like, it's not a threat, it's just it's being real.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like because you're on a timescale, is it being pushing for a little while?
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, um, and so it's just being real, but the midwife that's been with you all the time doesn't need to be that person.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_01: So you bring somebody else in, bad cop.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe my assertiveness that I've needed over the years is that there's been a little bit of overlap there, but I can't see there being any other overlap between midwifery and domination, really.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, you play you play with girls, don't you?
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: Well, at least you know your way around a fanny.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: I do, but not once when I was delivering a baby, they'd ever go, oh, nice fan dango.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: Never once, you know.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: Of course not.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_03: Of course not, but if somebody if a woman was gonna play me, especially with you know more intense stuff or more extreme stuff, I'd rather a midwife.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: Because you know, we know all the it's a bit inside, but it's a lot more.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: So you think there's there's a let's put it this way my knowledge of the female anatomy has definitely worked in my favour over the years.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: There you go, yeah.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's all I'm gonna say about that.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um but um I I miss midwifery a lot, but I don't miss the NHS.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: I said it a lot.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I I think you're right actually, you know, joking aside, midwives do have to be assertive and then we need to have a certain amount of uh confidence and and faker to make it sometimes.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you know that things aren't quite going to plan, but your face can't show it.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_01: So you still need to be strong and assertive.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to be the backbone for that family.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Even when inside you're going, oh fuck.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh fuck.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so maybe that confidence and assertive initially, there is some transferring of skills there.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I'm you know, not once have I ever had a pregnant lady, lady in my dungeon.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Have you had any any females in your dungeon?
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: How few, how many?
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: You had many?
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_03: One.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_03: One so far.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I've got I've got a couple booked in in the next week and a half.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: So she'll be the second one.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: Can I ask?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: Was the female into medical fetish?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, not the same female.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: Because someone does the rounds again.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: Lovely, but you know, it's quite well known.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: And do you find then that your female sessions are different to your male sessions?
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, the only females the one that I've done and the one that's coming up, it's a couple.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_03: She's not just a female by herself.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: So are you um dominating both of them or are you gonna be double domming on a female?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna be doing?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_03: With both of them, they were both subs.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sub.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm interested.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I'm more it's more I'm in charge of the male and I'm telling him what to do to her for my um entertainment.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: Nice, nice.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so um over the years I have had some couples, I've actually more recently had females who want to be dominant with their partner, but just need a little bit of um expertise behind them.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've said I don't want to teach you, we'll we'll learn on the job.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: You've got some skills, let's just hone them.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've double jommed and I haven't took a lead, we've sort of played it together, and I've gone, let's do this.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, pick some things up, and we learn on the go.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: Really love doing that.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: If anyone do that, any females out there love to double dom, it's a nice way to train.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but actual couples were both as submissives.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think I've only had one, and that wasn't professionally.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I've had a couple who are both sub.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: One's either sat off as like a cockold or something like that, cuck queen.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I don't think I've had two submissives as a couple.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_03: Well I think well definitely the the um the session that's coming up, he's actually usually uh the dom in the relationship.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_03: They're a sub-dom and they've they've only they've only ever played personally.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_03: But he wants to try being a sub.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: With me there.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_03: But I would love um waiting.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: Can any ladies please I'm waiting for um um a couple to come along where she wants to be Dom in him, but she just needs a little bit of guidance.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_03: It's like what I've just said, basically.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_03: I would I'm really really hoping that would happen.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh there you go.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: So we've both said it now that we both would really like that.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's great, it's really, really, really enjoyable.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: So also you have to big another female up and see them doing their thing.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, fucking love that.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: Getting behind Somersie, and you know, like a little bit nervous at first, and by the end of the hour or two hours and you're later, you've got it.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you've got it there.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now you go away and boss your bloke around because you can do it.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, fucking love that I would love that, yeah.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh good.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: So, um, you uh you've left your other job and you're just doing this full time.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to share what you were doing before?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: Is it completely different to what you're doing, what you're doing now?
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um obviously you're being a student, but in work.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so before I was doing camming um and I was um kind of more over to the a dominatric side.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_03: That was the kind of niche I filled in the cam world.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_03: But I hated it.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_03: I really, really didn't like it.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_03: And it just It's so much different just being in your home staring at a screen with a webcam staring at you with people that are just jumping into your room, having a 10-minute session, jumping back out again, they're in America somewhere, to actually having personal emails between you and somebody, then you meet them in real life, yeah, and then you have a real it you can bounce off each other then.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I was just getting no connection when I was doing Cammin, and also um Kamin was a lot more sexual and I wasn't comfortable with it anymore.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: And my sister-in-law said to me, she said, if you're not comfortable with the content you're putting online, don't do it, and it doesn't matter.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_03: If you if you get that tiny little twinge thinking, I'm a bit naked here and I don't know where that's gonna go, she said just stop straight away.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and like I said to you earlier, I've been wanting to do um pro doming for like 10 years, so as soon as that little um thought came into my head, I just thought, right now's the time.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: So with camming, it's difficult because it almost feels like uh like a production line.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: People in, in out, in out, in house, in house, in house.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: And you do feel what's the word I'm looking for?
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_01: You might agree.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_01: Did you feel like more of a commodity?
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_04: Mm-hmm.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's no real connection, there's no real discussion.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like you say, you're there naked with people that you can't see for the most part, if at all, and you're there just providing like a very quick service to whoever with no real interaction, you are just a product, you're just a commodity, aren't you?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to use the word just, but I think in the end it makes you feel just a commodity.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you feel less of the person in front of the camera, you're just you are just a commodity of the people's view for their pleasure, throw you some tips or whatever, and that's it.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's no real depth, there's no connection, there's no person coming through there, you're just a naked lady providing a service.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas when you go pro-domin, or even escorting, escorting, maybe not all for all escorts, but you know, there is conversations, and you know, there's a there's a a relationship of some sort, where whatever that relationship is, there's time spent, names exchanged, just something simple like that.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it just humanises it a little bit more, doesn't it?
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think in the end, when you're doing things online, when you haven't got the connection, eventually I think it gets tired and boring because we all need a connection with somebody, don't we?
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_01: And in your work and life, this is your job.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine not having that connection with anybody day in, day out.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: How sad would that be and boring?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: At least now you're able to create the relationship and you're getting that connection day in, day out.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: And look how far you've come in nine months, you know, from not getting many clients, obviously doing something right to get seven, eight clients a week and to get repeats, whatever it is that you're doing is working, and you're enjoying that connection as well.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: So you must look back on the camera and go and well, okay, I might have cut my teeth in the Azure industry doing that, but God's not doing that anymore.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it must feel like poles apart now.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm really, really glad that I left that.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_03: But I I to be honest, I've never enjoyed it.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_03: No, I did it for years for some reason, I just never enjoyed it.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's that you sat at home as well, you're by yourself, and because of well, I did anyway, because I was trying to get the American clients out to work all the way through the night.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_03: So my sleep pattern was of I was work at home all the time.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_03: It just it's not good for you.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's not.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I mean we're just working from home, full stop, can be quite difficult at times, and you do still need some connection with people, but I think you what you do can be quite isolating.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_03: It was really isolating, yeah.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_03: There was points in my life where I thought I haven't seen the day, especially in winter, I haven't seen the daylight for like five days because by the time I get up, it's starting to get dark because I didn't go to bed till 5am because I was camming all night.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then that's all I'm gonna do all night again in that little room with my camera in front of me.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_03: I just don't know.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_03: Right now is the time I need to start doing this in person, and it is phenomenally better.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: Have you ever done it?
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_01: Camming, no, but I know loads and loads of people that have loads.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: Lots of people in the club, you know, have done camming.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: Some of our team have done Cammon, and they've told me a loss, and you know, they've told me they've confided in me, and they're like, I just don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's just sounded like a lot of the time it was great at first, and then they thought they were compromising their integrity and what they wanted to do in the end.
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_01: And some of them just stopped altogether, left the industry, and some went on to do other things.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: Some um one particular person actually went into porn industry and started filming porn.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_01: Really, really, really loved that instead because then they felt part of a team.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: There was a team of like four people, and they go on location and stuff like that, they'd meet different people all the time, so they were still in the industry, but wasn't as isolating, and you know, they had a name and there was time spent with them, it wasn't just like you know, a quick jolly, like you say, like 10-minute jolly.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, no, I've not done it, and not because of any um opinion, it's because of what other people have told me.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, hmm, I I get bored of that too quick.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: I get bored real easy.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I it's just not for me.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I need the connection with people who'm gonna do this sort of thing, really.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's what I enjoy.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: So, did you say it was your sister that said if you're not feeling it, if you're getting a thing, stop, or your sister-in-law-my sister-in-law.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_01: Sister-in-law.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so that was really sage advice.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it's the spike of sensors.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's just being true to yourself and listening to yourself, isn't it?
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if something doesn't feel right, even if you don't know why, then it's not right.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Always trust yourself, you know, you've got that for a reason.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: This is inbuilt in us from fucking you know, Stone Age time, survival, you know, when we were hunting predators.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_01: If something doesn't feel right, then you don't go there, it's still with us now, the survival instinct.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so your sister-in-law was absolutely right by advising that.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: And now look where it's taken you.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Great, isn't it?
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: So, did you ever expect your journey to take you down this path when you were younger?
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_03: No, when I was younger.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody plans do they to be a dom natrix.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, okay, I'm not saying like as a kid, but you know, like when you're like in your late teens, did it ever enter your head?
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_03: No, it probably entered my head um to do DOMing in like my kind of earlyish to mid-twenties.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_01: But not late teens, no.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's not something I I don't think it should come into the brain of young people, really.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: Domination, it's quite a mature thing that you need to grow into.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, escorting's different.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_01: I know lots of younger people that do escorting, and like I say, it's a way of people cutting the teeth in the industry sometimes and getting themselves through uni and whatever.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of reasons why people do that, um, and you know, whatever pays the bills sometimes.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: But domination, I just feel like it takes a level of maturity that you just haven't got as a young person.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it would not have crossed my mind as an 18, 90-year-old.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: No way! I've always been a little bit kinky, you know, and different people that have had short and long-term relationships with, some of them have been into it, some of them haven't.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_01: Jim wasn't into it at first, now he's fully into it.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was me, not coercing them by the way, that was him.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um but at that age, I wasn't didn't have the maturity.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_01: If I knew about it properly, I probably wouldn't have the maturity to handle it and then keep myself safe.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think you need to just get to a point in your life where you're ready to present yourself as this confident, dominant woman, even if you don't feel you've got to be as a faker.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't think you can do that as a young person.
• 55:40
  SPEAKER_03: No, I completely agree.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think it's something that you can decide that you're gonna do when you're like 19.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_03: I definitely do think it's something to do later on in life.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_03: How old were you?
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh well it's been 20 years and I'm 50 now.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 51 next month.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, next month.
• 55:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: I actually said I wanted to do some podcasts that like people said, I thought you were 50 ages ago.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's because I've actually been talking about being 50 for so long to get used to in my head getting used to saying 50.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm actually 51 next month.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, it's been a very, very, very long time.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um and no time, if you know what I mean.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just things go like that, yeah.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: Unstringable.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean the time that we had Townhouse, just gone, 15 years.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: Just just just like that.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: It does, it's absolutely nuts.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: And um I even as a midwife, you know, a little bit kinky, but not doing things professionally.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: Even then, I was like, Yeah, could I do this professionally?
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: I still had my doubts.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I you know, I was older, you know, coming into it, it was the right time for me.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_02: So were you around 30-ish?
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_02: Early 30s.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, early, late 20s.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, me and Jim first came onto the scene in 2004.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and it wasn't long after that.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: So fuck, it's longer.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm knocking years off.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in denial.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: 20-ish years, give or take.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_01: So when I first started out, um, social media uh was in its infancy, so you had um obviously Facebook was around, or it wasn't used for what it is now.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember Friends Reunited?
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: Are you too young for Friends Reunited?
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_03: Very, very vaguely.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so Facebook came on almost after Friends Reunited, so it was a way of you know contacting all them people that you've lost touch with.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was very much just that, and obviously now it's become this big beast, this social experiment that it is now, and we use it for all different things, but we definitely didn't use it for any kind of advertising or putting ourselves out there, no.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: Twitter, yes, we did have that.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't really put myself on there much, it wasn't the cesspit that it is now, and obviously a lot of people who work in the adult industry who are trying to find people in the adult industry, they do find each other on Twitter.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_01: Just need to get past all the dross to find the good ones.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_03: So was Twitter when when was Twitter available?
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_03: When did you start on that?
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um so Twitter, oh gosh, about 2009, something like that, I think.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: Something like that.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um around the same time, yeah, about 2009, yeah.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe a little bit later, I'm trying to think.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_01: Now all the years are getting mixed up.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so we didn't have Instagram, nothing like that.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: So what we had to do is we had to go on all these professional dominatrix dungeon type sites that oh most of them are still out there, but there was maybe about six, something like that.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_01: There wasn't that many, and you have like a little profile on there, you'd pay for a sponsored ad to get to the top, and you'd be listed by region and all that kind of thing.
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're looking for a dominators in the northwest, you'd come up, pay a little bit more, you come up the top, um, and it just linked to a profile.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_01: I did have a website as well, but only after a little while, like you, I built my own.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I relied mainly on these you know sites and what you'd call hookup sites, I suppose, now, but they were for subs and dominatrics, and that was it.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: That was the only way we could find people if you went to events.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, you could get chatting to people, let people know, but events back then they weren't very happy with escort and professional dominatrix um applying for trade on the premises.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_01: They were a bit like yeah, I don't really well.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not actually going to be doing it on the premises, I'm just chatting, I can have a conversation.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_01: You weren't very happy with that at the time, right?
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_01: So the only way really uh was these contact sites and then word of mouth, so it was quite hard.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_01: But once the word of mouth got out there, you didn't need the sites, it was really good.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, really?
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you're gonna be even bigger than the site because we didn't have social media, word of mouth was like a social media in a way, yeah.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_01: So that put a little bit more pressure on us, if you like, to be really good.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because if a session didn't go well and somebody went away disappointed, they'd all tell each other on all these contact sites and all the rest of it.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so word of mouth was the main way I got my clients back in the day.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_01: And also, I don't know whether you have this now.
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was a question that I wanted to ask, but we, as dominatrix, as domays, we stuck together, we looked after each other.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, if a client came in that didn't meet our interests, we'd refer them on to somebody that we knew and trusted, and all the rest of it.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: And there'd be like just like a little group of us.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: There's maybe about four of us that worked out of townhouse for a while.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a little coven.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think I called it um uh what did I call it on the pod one day?
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_01: A menace of mistry.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_01: I think I called it one day.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because mistresses doesn't sound right.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: Mistresses in that.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, well, a gaggle of geese, what would you call a group of mistresses?
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_01: A menace.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, a menace of mistress.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like a murder of crows.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly, exactly.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_01: A menace of mistry.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, mistrhy, yes.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_01: I need you said mistresses and so uh well, there's like four of us, and we all worked at a townhouse and um you know we'd all like hand each other clients if we couldn't do them or whatever.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then there'd be like a few on the periphery in the area that we knew and loved and we trusted they were mates, yeah, and if we couldn't do it, it'd hand them on to them.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_01: So you'd have this thing, and then their clients would get to know us because we were sharing clients, there was no animosity, there was no bitchiness, and that's a real big myth.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: Have you found much bit bit bitchiness between professional dominatrix?
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there's some cons out there, like I but honestly, just as you were saying that, I was thinking about this.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_03: Unless it's happened behind my back.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, I find that um Dominatrix they're very, very close and they look out for each other, and it's almost like um say society is the wrong word.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you're part of like an order, part of a group.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_01: Once you're part of our group, community, it's more than that.
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's more than that.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: The friends I've had as Dominatrix over the years are still my friends.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now we look out for each other even now because we're putting ourselves in these vulnerable positions, if you like, and nobody else could understand that apart from other people that have done it themselves.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so it was more than a community, uh, it was a real close friendship.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like Coven.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's like coven.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_01: It really was, and you look out for each other, and so you share clients, the clients all get to know you all, and so we didn't have the means that you've got now, and so we worked hard our reputation the way you do now, but it meant more because if you got it wrong, you could lose clients because it the word spread.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, it was word of mouth, and you know, often I'd be like the phone off, oh, where's your hearing about me?
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh mistress Roxy or whatever referred you.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, and it was really, really, really, really nice.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, obviously, social media came on board, the landscape changed a little bit.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_01: I feel it became a bit more competitive.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_01: Do you find it competitive?
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_03: I don't, but again, unless it's happened by my back, but I don't I haven't thrown myself out there into you know, where I'm in a space with loads and loads of other DOMs.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_03: I do work very closely with a very few DOMs, but and we are exactly how you said, really supportive.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_03: You know, if a client rings me and says, Do you feel on Tuesday?
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_03: I say no, but I know that um Mistress Whoever.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Mistress Whoever is.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've just I've just I just don't think I've worked that closely with No.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean uh there there's always you know bitches around and about it in every job that you do.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's always somebody.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't come across many professionally.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_01: I find that professional dominatrix when they've got through the hard times of all your the year of your building yourself up to the point you're starting to get clients.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_01: Once you've got that past past that point, you feel a bit more comfortable in your own shoes, your own boots.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know, there's something quite humbling about the whole thing, and you just um I don't find many professional dominatrics with an ego.
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's a couple, but it's almost like you don't have an ego, you just you ground yourself a little bit, and the other dominatrics around you keep you grounded as well.
• 1:04:08
  SPEAKER_01: And there's this sort of integrity that you have, you've got to be honest with yourself and with your clients, otherwise it can be dangerous.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you get you're honest with your colleagues with other dominatrics as well, because actually they're probably the only people that can understand you and how you're feeling right now after that weird client, or this didn't go to plan, or they've asked me to do this thing, and it made me feel a bit dirty, whatever it is.
• 1:04:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, only those other dominatrics are gonna be the people that understand, and so you form this thing, you become really honest with them.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's a quite a special bond and friendship, I find.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_03: It is, yeah.
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_03: The the ladies I work with at the moment are probably my best friends at the moment.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um, obviously, I've not been doing it for very long, but yeah, we're we're really, really close, and same with any lady that I've worked with.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_03: This you know, if I've had to organise a random double dom with someone I've never met before, yeah, um, the second they walk through the door, there's just that um what's the word I'm looking for?
• 1:04:58
  SPEAKER_01: Comradery?
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:05:01
  SPEAKER_03: That um what's that word when people break up but they both decide to do it?
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_01: Mutual.
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_03: Mutual, that's the way it's called.
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's just that m instant mutual um connection and respect and trust you.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_03: Look, we're both here for the same reason, we've both probably been through very similar things.
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um yeah, and I I just don't understand the whole competitiveness.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, because you're shooting yourself in the foot when you do that.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, of course you are.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_03: If you try and compete with all these other um DOMs, do you say Dom?
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_03: You say Dom.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_03: Dom A.
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_03: Dom A, um Dom A, then I'll say that.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, if you're trying to compete with them all, it y yes, you might get an e a little bit of extra money initially, but long term you're just shooting yourself in the foot.
• 1:05:46
  SPEAKER_03: It's so much better to work together.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_03: You're all in the same place, you're all doing the same thing.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_03: There's enough clients to go around.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, there's enough subs in the world, and if you work together, you know, do pictures on Twitter with each other and and tag each other in it or um You know, suggest each other to people, you will get so much further.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_01: You will, you will, and like I said before, word of mouth, it still works now.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if if you're disrespectful to the domain or there's something gone on, she won't recommend you again to other clients.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm always recommending um other ladies to my clients.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said a second ago, if if I'm if I'm busy or if they go into a different area and I know a lady there, then I'm always recommending them.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_03: But if we were being bitchy to each other, yeah, we wouldn't we wouldn't get that from each other.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just not very nice anyway, is it?
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's not horrible.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm very sensitive to that kind of thing at all.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, people to be nice to each other all the time.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I was quite sensitive to it, unfortunately.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_01: I've hardened, I've had to harden.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just being a professional dominator because I had this work and just in the industry in general, and this you run the club and everything.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_01: It hardens you in the end.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's not a bad thing, I think.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_01: Eventually, you know, it's just it just happens.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_01: You you see a lot, you experience a lot, you hear a lot, you watch other people go through stuff good and bad, and it just you just grow a thick skin.
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's a bit of an armour, but I can still take the armour off, you know.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not like a cool hard bitch all the time.
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_01: You just you just develop this thick skin, and you know, things don't get you quite so much.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um so gosh, we've been going for ages.
• 1:07:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if somebody came to you now and said, Um, I've thought about it long and hard, I listen to you on the podcast, and I hear you, and I want to plan long term to be a pressure dominatrix, what would it be?
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm not gonna say a word of advice because it could be more than a word, but what advice would you give to somebody brand new who's thinking about it, Artin?
• 1:07:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um Unfortunately, it's more about the money side of things.
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I'd say you definitely have if you can, again, not everyone's lucky enough to do this, if you have some savings before you go into this, because you will if you're going into it like I did, just drop everything and jump straight in, you will lose a lot of money.
• 1:07:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but also uh don't think that money is the most important thing because you'll lose sight of what a session should be like.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_03: And also if you're just concentrating on money, you're gonna be taking on people that aren't potentially aren't even safe.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:08:11
  SPEAKER_03: So go for absolute quality of clients.
• 1:08:14
  SPEAKER_03: You you're okay to whatever you're charging, I don't know, X amount an hour, you're okay to lose out on that every now and then.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah if it means that after six months you've got a handful of clients that are really respectful, really good.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I'd I'd say just don't try and focus on the money, try and focus on the safety and um and your enjoyment and their enjoyment and who you actually want to be sessioning with instead of just trying to get a whole bunch of bookings in.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think having the savings behind you is a really, really good uh piece of advice, actually.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_03: If you can, I mean it's difficult, yeah.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, if you can get yourself through at least a couple of months, two or three months, you know, at least you know, if you're looking to do it properly, you do need to really, really focus on it, really.
• 1:08:58
  SPEAKER_01: I know some people do have other jobs as well, and they don't want this to be the full-time job, but if you want it to be a full-time job, then it it starts straight away, doesn't it really?
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_01: So having those savings behind you gives you that brain space to be able to put that time in and and develop yourself and everything else around you and not rushing into it.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_01: And what you said there's so important, if you've got that money behind you, then you're not taking clients because you've got to pay bills, yeah, out of desperation, yeah, yeah, because then you compromise your own integrity and you take clients that you shouldn't take because they're people that you wouldn't normally session with because you have no connection, or more importantly, they're not safe, or they're asking you to do things that are just not on your list.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um if I was gonna be asked now what advice I would give If I was going to ask you actually, it would be don't compromise your integrity at any point because you're asleep at night, you've got to live a life outside the dungeon.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say always work within your own boundaries and don't let submissives push you out of them because they're very good at trying.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And but uh linking into what you've said, um you know don't let the need to earn money affect that integrity because you're gonna put yourself into either a dangerous position because you maybe haven't done the homework properly of the person, maybe you haven't had all the conversations that you should be having, because you just want the money, and then before you know it, you've got a dangerous client.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you've got a client who has asked for I don't know, Pegging saying, and it's not something you'd normally do because you don't want to offer that kind of sexual service, or Pegging's just not for you, but you're like, well, you want a two-hour session with this, this, and this, and it's 400 quid or whatever, and I've got this to pay.
• 1:10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then afterwards it's something that you haven't done before, maybe, and afterwards you're like, I feel really dirty now, yeah, and then you've got to unpick that because that client's gone away feeling probably alright, maybe none if you've not enjoyed it.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you've not enjoyed it, they might not enjoy it either.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_01: But they've gone away, whatever, and you're left with that fallout thinking, yeah, I I I didn't enjoy that, and it can affect your confidence going down the line.
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_01: It takes you a little while to get that back.
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_01: So from day one, I would have a set of boundaries.
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_01: They can be fluid, doesn't mean the boundary is forever, just means the boundary is for now, because this is a journey.
• 1:11:17
  SPEAKER_01: For now, yeah, like every other journey in our professional life and our relationships, this is a journey as well, and you'll change.
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so you have your boundaries now, which are fluid, you stick to them, and then when you're ready, you might want to challenge some of those boundaries and push them a little bit, yeah, just a little bit, but you do it at your pace.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_01: You don't do it because a sub's offer you an extra 200 quid to do it now.
• 1:11:38
  SPEAKER_01: You do it when you're ready.
• 1:11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's all about you.
• 1:11:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then secondly, you only do what you enjoy.
• 1:11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, the sub will know.
• 1:11:49
  SPEAKER_01: The sub will know.
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_01: I've done things that I didn't enjoy in the past.
• 1:11:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, why did I do that?
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because that was shit.
• 1:11:55
  SPEAKER_01: He didn't enjoy it, I didn't enjoy it.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I got my money, but it wasn't really well-earned money.
• 1:12:00
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's not well earned, and is it really worth it?
• 1:12:03
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't come back.
• 1:12:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:12:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I, from day one, with people I had a literature inquiry the other day, the guy did the same thing.
• 1:12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I said, look, this is these are my interests.
• 1:12:13
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even really get into much of a conversation.
• 1:12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Straight away, as you make an inquiry, go, right, okay, well, these are my interests.
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_01: If my interests meet yours, then we'll chat further.
• 1:12:23
  SPEAKER_01: If your interests are not on my list, I'm not the dominatrix for you.
• 1:12:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh really?
• 1:12:28
  SPEAKER_01: I have not got the time anymore to go.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_01: If they do, then I will.
• 1:12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'll have conversations and nurture that relationship and everything.
• 1:12:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I lay it down now.
• 1:12:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And if they go, but you know, can kind of suck your toes.
• 1:12:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's not on my list.
• 1:12:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you've just tried to fush me a boundary.
• 1:12:44
  SPEAKER_01: This conversation's over.
• 1:12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Done.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I just don't need the money.
• 1:12:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's not because I'm loaded, I'm not loaded at all.
• 1:12:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need the money enough to compromise myself and to allow a guy to fucking wrap me around his little finger.
• 1:12:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've already I've set my stall out.
• 1:13:00
  SPEAKER_01: You respect that.
• 1:13:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you try to push it at first base, we don't go to second.
• 1:13:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's as simple as that.
• 1:13:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's a really good way of wheedling them out as well.
• 1:13:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I only do what I enjoy now, and I can probably count the things professionally that I would do on one hand now because they give me joy, and I know that my clients would get joy from it.
• 1:13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Anything outside of that, it would be substandard, and I don't do substandard.
• 1:13:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so when I explain to the clients, like this is my list of things I enjoy.
• 1:13:29
  SPEAKER_01: I enjoy it, and you will enjoy it.
• 1:13:32
  SPEAKER_01: If these are your interests, great.
• 1:13:34
  SPEAKER_01: If they're not, yeah.
• 1:13:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that's it.
• 1:13:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's all I do now.
• 1:13:39
  SPEAKER_01: And if they come back and go, Oh yeah, like this other guy wants extreme pain, all uh.
• 1:13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like the old guy.
• 1:13:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, how long have you been on the scene?
• 1:13:47
  SPEAKER_01: Eh okay, not extreme pain then.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, we had a conversation, and hopefully it'll go somewhere.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:13:52
  SPEAKER_01: But straight away, that's it.
• 1:13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, there's me interests.
• 1:13:56
  SPEAKER_01: I just took my shadows anymore, I can't be asked.
• 1:13:59
  SPEAKER_01: But don't compromise your integrity, is what my advice.
• 1:14:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't come don't compromise your mental health.
• 1:14:04
  SPEAKER_03: No?
• 1:14:05
  SPEAKER_03: Even if you're really skinny, you've got a bill coming up, you can deal with that later.
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_03: There's ways of getting around that.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_03: But if you force yourself into a situation where you're in a room with somebody and you're forcing yourself to do something that you're not comfortable with, that is not worth the money that you're gonna get from that session.
• 1:14:18
  SPEAKER_03: Bills can be sorted out later.
• 1:14:21
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you're not gonna get chucked in prison because you haven't paid your electricity bill for one month.
• 1:14:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you can deal with that later.
• 1:14:27
  SPEAKER_03: Just don't put yourself in a position where um yeah, your mental health or your safety is gonna be compromised.
• 1:14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just like that.
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_03: And also, if you if you work like that as well, I think you might have just said this, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating you.
• 1:14:39
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just gonna do it anyway in a different way.
• 1:14:42
  SPEAKER_03: Um if you if you carry on working like that as well, yeah, six months down the line, you're gonna have a really good client base.
• 1:14:49
  SPEAKER_03: But if you keep accepting ones that you're not comfortable with and you keep accepting people that aren't right or doing things properly, they're gonna keep pestering you, and you're still gonna be part of your client base.
• 1:15:00
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna have to be dealing with them later on.
• 1:15:02
  SPEAKER_03: So just weed them out straight away.
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Straight away.
• 1:15:05
  SPEAKER_03: You might lose out on a bit of money that's you that like obviously we've just been saying a lot, it's not worth it.
• 1:15:10
  SPEAKER_03: And in a in a year's time, you'll look back and think, Thank God I did that.
• 1:15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 1:15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And what you build then is a client base that you're gonna enjoy, that you know you can trust, that are gonna pay you and all that, rather than all these you know, fly by nights or time wasted, you don't know where you're coming or going with them all, and uh you know, like just going back to your little list.
• 1:15:29
  SPEAKER_01: That means that I've got clients then that they might not book all the time, but when they do, they might book two or three hours, maybe because I've seen them before, I've been honest or whatever, and our interests meet and we can really make something out of it.
• 1:15:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they might be book an hour first, okay.
• 1:15:45
  SPEAKER_01: I like it, they might book more.
• 1:15:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'd rather have that one client that comes back regular than a load of clients that don't enjoy.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody goes to work to go through the emotions.
• 1:15:56
  SPEAKER_01: We we would love to do a job that we genuinely enjoy that brings us joy and doesn't compromise us and all the rest of it.
• 1:16:03
  SPEAKER_01: And why would you do that?
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's pref professional dominators, just because it's it's adult industry, you wouldn't do that.
• 1:16:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, great advice.
• 1:16:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's savings thing's really good advice.
• 1:16:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if you can just give you that buffer.
• 1:16:14
  SPEAKER_03: Not everyone can, but if you can, if you can just get like a good chunk of savings before you go into it, that would be really helpful.
• 1:16:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because I I got things got a little bit hairy for me at one point.
• 1:16:24
  SPEAKER_03: I thought I had enough saved to go into this, and um, yeah, after like two months, I was like, I'm a bit skimmed.
• 1:16:33
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's all the equipment you have to buy as well.
• 1:16:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said earlier, you have to buy so B E D SM equipment's really expensive, yeah.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_01: So um, but I got there in the end, and also, you know, as a professional, you want good quality gear as well, don't you?
• 1:16:45
  SPEAKER_01: It has to be good quality for longevity, because obviously it's getting heavily used.
• 1:16:50
  SPEAKER_01: It also needs to do what it says on the tin, because sometimes some of the cheapo shit from whenever doesn't always do what it says, it needs to do what it needs to do, um, and also the clients who are paying you professionally, they want to see good quality kiss as well, not just like you know, some shitty flogger from China, I don't know, whatever.
• 1:17:07
  SPEAKER_01: It needs to be good quality stuff, even like my restraints, they're heavy, padded, heavy duty restraints.
• 1:17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because when somebody's in bondage, if the if bondage is their thing, it's not just tie them up as part of the scene.
• 1:17:19
  SPEAKER_01: If they want heavy bondage, they want to feel the weight, they want to smell the quality of the leather, they want to feel heavy D rings on them, good quality steel, D rings, not platty shit.
• 1:17:30
  SPEAKER_01: And do you know what?
• 1:17:31
  SPEAKER_01: The cheap stuff's great for some people, but as a professional, I think people just expect that a little bit more at all costs, doesn't it?
• 1:17:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and it's for their safety as well.
• 1:17:40
  SPEAKER_03: If I've got some wrist clubs or or if I'm trying to do suspension and I've got some cheap shit, it's just not safe, is it?
• 1:17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Not at all, not at all.
• 1:17:49
  SPEAKER_03: If there's any weight on anything, or if you're really doing some heavy impact play, but it's a cheap bit of equipment that's gonna start fraying, or the inside's gonna start coming out of a paddle or something, you know, it's not okay.
• 1:18:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's not okay, it's not okay.
• 1:18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So it does take a little while to build that up.
• 1:18:04
  SPEAKER_01: So the savings thing's great.
• 1:18:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, a lot of people have said to you before, if they come, oh we need to earn some extra money when do professional domination.
• 1:18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and there'll be people out there that'll still do it even after watching this.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_01: But if there's anybody out there who is like genuinely interested, it's always there in the back of your mind.
• 1:18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully, what we've said here just gives you that a little bit of realism of what it's really like, but also how great it can be if you do it properly.
• 1:18:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's gotta be done properly.
• 1:18:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's a job like anything else.
• 1:18:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're dealing with people who at times can be quite vulnerable people as well.
• 1:18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it's gotta be right for you to deal with that vulnerability sometimes.
• 1:18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Do you find yourself being a little bit of a counsellor at times or a therapist?
• 1:18:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh massively, yeah.
• 1:18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like being a barmaid.
• 1:18:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you save your drinks and give a counselling session while you're there, you know.
• 1:18:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, oh I've I've had um clients after the session really teary, and I'm just like they're giving them a cuddle and rocking them, it's okay, yeah.
• 1:18:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's not just about going in there and all guns blazing or all the electricity, yeah.
• 1:19:01
  SPEAKER_03: You've you've there's a lot of emotion that goes behind it.
• 1:19:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, definitely, definitely.
• 1:19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope for those out there who are not even interested in professional domination, but obviously you watch the podcast, say you've got a little bit of interest in the scene or just just a curiosity.
• 1:19:15
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that's fed your curiosity a little bit and uh maybe answered some questions.
• 1:19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um and we've been wishing long enough.
• 1:19:23
  SPEAKER_01: We've given loads of info if you do want to do it though.
• 1:19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, as always, I'm more than happy for you to DM me if you've got any questions and uh something like that.
• 1:19:31
  SPEAKER_01: But I hope you've enjoyed our little chat today.
• 1:19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think I've enjoyed our chat today.
• 1:19:34
  SPEAKER_03: If you've enjoyed it, it's gonna really quick.
• 1:19:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's gone really hour and 20 minutes, mate.
• 1:19:38
  SPEAKER_02: Is that a lot longer than you usually do?
• 1:19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, do you know what?
• 1:19:42
  SPEAKER_01: It goes as long as it goes.
• 1:19:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not.
• 1:19:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't necessarily have a time scale as such.
• 1:19:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh if it goes on really long, then I do like an extended version of a Patreon.
• 1:19:52
  SPEAKER_01: This will probably go to the masses, I think.
• 1:19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody needs to hear the full length of this one, so this will go out to everybody.
• 1:19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, that was really, really great.
• 1:19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so, so much for just being really honest about your journey, where you are now, and you already got a passion for it, which is really, really nice.
• 1:20:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you haven't um what's what's the word I'm looking for?
• 1:20:12
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you can be a little bit blinkered by the whole thing, can't you?
• 1:20:15
  SPEAKER_01: A bit jaded, a bit jaded.
• 1:20:18
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, you've got that passion and uh you're still loving it, and I'll really, really love that for you.
• 1:20:23
  SPEAKER_01: After nine months, you've got loads of clients and you're doing great.
• 1:20:27
  SPEAKER_01: Really, really love that for you.
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_01: And long may it continue, maybe in 20 years' time you'll be like, oh my god, what's a new comedy?
• 1:20:37
  SPEAKER_03: You never know.
• 1:20:38
  SPEAKER_01: If podcasts even exist, then I don't know.
• 1:20:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a hell of new genre.
• 1:20:41
  SPEAKER_03: No, honestly, a lot of it is down to you because um I did get a lot of advice from you, especially from the School of King, and even just the video that you send before.
• 1:20:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've got loads of the consent video, yeah, loads and loads from that as well.
• 1:20:53
  SPEAKER_03: So, and like I said earlier, the spidey senses thing that saved me from a lot and you know allowed me to get just stay stick with really decent clients.
• 1:21:01
  SPEAKER_03: So a lot of it's from a lot of it's yeah, but you'll pass that on now as well.
• 1:21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we share the knowledge, we don't get selfish in this game, we don't keep each other safe by being selfish, yeah.
• 1:21:11
  SPEAKER_01: You share the knowledge, and that's what it's all about.
• 1:21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you're now gonna share that with other people that you meet on your journey.
• 1:21:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, trust your spider sensors.
• 1:21:18
  SPEAKER_01: This Al Dom May, she's pegged it now, she's been gone for years.
• 1:21:21
  SPEAKER_01: She told me years ago.
• 1:21:25
  SPEAKER_01: My little words are still being the back of your mind.
• 1:21:27
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna be there.
• 1:21:29
  SPEAKER_03: Stuck in there now, thank you.
• 1:21:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
• 1:21:33
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna leave it there.
• 1:21:34
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you very, very much.
• 1:21:35
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna get you along another time, maybe another year to another line, and see where you go on the next uh next lag of your journey.
• 1:21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that'd be good.
• 1:21:43
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you so much for having me.
• 1:21:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's been lovely.
• 1:21:45
  SPEAKER_01: You're more than welcome.
• 1:21:46
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose I'm gonna have a little drink with it as well.
• 1:21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm more than happy with that.
• 1:21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Come along here for a little drink and another.
• 1:21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks everybody, and a little chat is there.
• 1:21:58
  unknown: Bye.
• 1:21:59
  SPEAKER_01: We have it! Another twenty minute.
• 1:22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, anyone's gonna come up and get a little bit more than a lot of people.