Latest / The Paulie & Tony Fusco Show / Why Drake Maye SUCKS at football, 49ers UNFAIR start, 100% lock NFL prediction

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Why Drake Maye SUCKS at football, 49ers UNFAIR start, 100% lock NFL prediction · The Paulie & Tony Fusco Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: On today's show, we'll tell you the one glaring sign
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: that was always there that showed that Drake May doesn't
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: know how to play quarterback.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Let's go. Roll the intro.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Garmin to you live from Philly. It's the number one
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: rated Polly and Tony Fusco show.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Yo, yo, yo.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: As always, Polly Fusco here with Tony Fusco and Tony.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Huge show today. NFL season is here.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: And we're going to give you Tony's 100% lock prediction
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: for the Commanders Eagles matchup. We got the 49ers Rams
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: in Australia. We'll tell you why that's crazy. And we'll
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: break down what everyone got totally wrong about that Michigan game.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: But first, you know, we just have to say you
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: saw last week's numbers, didn't you, Tony?
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: You know, huge, but more importantly, finally accurate.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: As you know, YouTube finally changed its dumb system of
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: how it measures views. It used to be, you see,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: you had to watch 30 seconds for that.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: To count as a view. Yeah, but now it's only
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: one second.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: And now, yeah, that people are seeing a more accurate
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: reflection of our cure. which, as you know, is the
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: cumulative amount of our views and downloads across the board.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: And, you know, it's just about time, isn't it, Tony?
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: And this is where I feel like YouTube was really
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: limiting how much QM we could generate. But now they're
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: saying it doesn't matter if you come for one second,
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: 30 seconds, two minutes, we're going to measure the entire
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: massive volume of your QM.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Yup. And you know, this change, Tony, has been a
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: long time coming, hasn't it? Because, you know, when something
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't come for a long time, well, you know, that
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: just leads to more anticipation for when it actually does come,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: And that's exactly why when we released last week, you know,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: the episode, it really felt like a cum explosion because,
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: you know, there was so much buildup. And when there's
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: a lot of buildup, it just makes that cum even bigger.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Hold on a second, Dodie.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Our producer back there is, he's giving us the stink
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: guy again.
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: Oh, what?
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Look, it sounds like you're talking about bodily fluids.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Shame on you. You know what? That's disgusting. Shame on you.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Get your mind out of the gutter. Bring it down
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: the show with your perverted mind. Nobody's thinking that but you.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Nobody. Not one person's thinking like that.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Disgusting.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Pervert. Anyway. Gross. Let's just move on. Move on with
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: the show. Just ignore that. Let's move along. Don't forget,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: you rate and review on Apple Podcasts.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: You like and subscribe. You visit the merch store. You
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: buy that official merch and click all the links in
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: the description.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Okay. You have to. Let's get into our top story.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: First out the gate, Patriots losing the opening game to
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: the Seahawks. Drake May throwing an absolutely terrible game-ending interception.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: The worst pass anyone's ever seen. Well, you know, if
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: you don't count the passes, our producer makes it women.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: But anyway. Exactly.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: You know, Tony, we've been saying this for years. The
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: problem with Drake May, right? He always goes with his
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: first option.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: And that's the problem off the field, too. Drake May
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: wound up marrying his middle school girlfriend. Yep. He clearly
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: didn't take the time to scan the field for other
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: options or trying to make passes at other female receivers.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: You know, this is why we call it playing the field. Meanwhile,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Drew Locke did it the right way. He met his
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: now wife during his first year in the NFL, which
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: means he didn't like the reads he made in middle
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: school or even college and opted out of them. You know,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: either because they didn't have chemistry or, you know, maybe
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: they were butt ugly. But in the end, he showed
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: he has the better judgment.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Terrific football and also social analysis that Tony and you
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: know after the game Patriots head coach Mike Rabel well
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: he came out and he called Drake Mays final drive
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: quote reckless yeah Tony your thoughts on.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: That You know, I totally see Mike Vrabel's frustration here
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: because I just don't know who told Drake May he
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: could be making reckless decisions like that.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: You know, making passes at receivers who you shouldn't be
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: making passes at.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Or, you know, just shoving your balls in the wrong
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: place and not thinking about the trouble that it could
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: get you into.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Forcing your balls into a tight hole that's clearly the
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: wrong hole those balls are supposed to go to.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: If I'm Mike Vrabel, I got to be wondering how
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Drake May ever thought that type of behavior was ever okay.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Vrabel's got to be just totally baffled right now. Anyway,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: other news from this game. Sam Donald, Seattle quarterback going
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: down with a hip injury after just one drive. People
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: in Seattle were concerned about this, but I wasn't.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Were you, Tony? No, of course not.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: What's the most important thing a quarterback needs to have?
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Awareness. Of course.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Sam Donald clearly watched New England's first drive and realized.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: that the Patriots.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Offense sucked just as much as it did eight months
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: ago when they beat them in the Super Bowl. So
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: he deliberately took himself out of the game so he
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have to waste his time and energy. That's called leadership.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: And next week, the Seahawks play the Cardinals. So I
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: fully expect Sam Donald to deliberately remain injured because there's
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: a thousand better uses of his time than having to
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: play or watch that game. You know, in fact, I
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: may injure myself, so I don't have to watch that game.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, great points all around that, Tony. Let's move on
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: to other actions. So the 49ers and Rams game was
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: or is in Australia, depending on what time you're watching.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Listen to this episode. I mean, if time is something
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: that already confuses you, you may want to stop doing
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: what you're doing and just.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: Focus here, all right?
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Because you see, Thursday here in Philly, okay, is actually
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Friday in Australia, okay?
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Hopefully you're following this.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Now, we found out that the 49ers got to Australia
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: almost a week before the Rams, while the Rams only
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: got there like 24 hours before kickoff.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Shh.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Yet to me, that gave the 49ers an unfair advantage.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Don't you agree, Tony? You know, I was thinking the
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: same exact thing.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: The 49ers got to Australia before the Rams, which means
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: they got to the future before the Rams because in
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: Australia they're always like a day ahead so technically the
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: 49ers went into that game with almost a week more
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: life experience than the Rams they had already lived through
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: the days that the Rams haven't even experienced yet how
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: is that fair The Rams were basically playing against a
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: team from the future. And you know, you add on
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: that the 49ers spend every day practicing near an electrical substation,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: and you have to wonder if they're part T-1000 Cyborg
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: by now.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Just all very interesting questions there, Tony. And we're back
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: here in America. Talk about interesting. Ravens running back Derek
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: Henry complained about having never won or even played.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: In the Super Bowl. He told reporters, quote, I'm tired
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: of watching.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Every year, I'm tired of being at home on the
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: couch watching.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Tony, your thoughts?
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Well, there's a clear solution here. Just don't watch the
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Super Bowl this year. You know, go read a book
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: or go outside or something. Or go watch the game
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: at a sports bar if you're tired of watching it
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: on your couch at home.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: Great advice there, Dottie.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: It's time to get out your Fools Go Bad app
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: for Tony's 100% lock pick of the week.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Tony, what you got?
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: This is my prediction for the Commanders Eagles week one matchup.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: The Eagles will come out strong with Saquon Barkley running
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: it in for a touchdown on the very first drive.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Going up 7-0.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: But then Jaden Daniels will call his lawyers and see
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: if he can get the refs and a circuit court
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: judge to reverse the touchdown. But when that attempt fails,
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: Jaden Daniels will try to throw a touchdown pass, which
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: will be intercepted. At that point, Jaden Daniels will then
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: call his lawyers again and ask if they can petition
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: the refs and court to get the football back. But
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: when that doesn't work, the Eagles will get the ball
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: and Jalen Hurts will connect with Devontae Smith for a touchdown,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: putting the Eagles up 14-0. At that point, Jaden Daniels
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: will ask his lawyers to send a cease and desist
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: letter to the entire Eagles offense. But when that attempt
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: also fails, the Eagles will score again, leading to a
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: final score of Eagles 21, Commanders 0, and Jaden Daniels'
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: lawyers 80 billable hours.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Book it.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: Boom.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Download the Fusco Bet app now.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: No, the Fusco Bet app is not legal in any
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: of the 50 states. Only use Fusco Bet off the
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: southern coast of Guam. Otherwise, use of the Fusco Bet
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: app will lead to immediate life imprisonment. Fusco Bet.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and come back
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: with our full reaction to this Michigan football controversy.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: And tell you why everybody's got it wrong. Be right back.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: All right, we're back from break.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Cue up that music again, producer, because we got to
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: get to our other college football takes. Yeah, he's a
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: stink guy again. Sorry for making you do your job. Sorry,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: you got to do your work. Anyway, all right, about
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: this Michigan game, because, you know, nobody cares about the
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: other game stories.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: But for those of you who.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Live under a rock, you see what happened was last Saturday,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Western Michigan was playing Michigan, Western Michigan up 12 to 7.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: When Michigan threw a last minute Hail Mary, last second
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Hail Mary, that was deflected in the end zone by
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: a Western Michigan player. Now, the clock on the TV
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: said that time had run out.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: It was at zero.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: But then the Big Ten came in with their refs,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: replay people, and said, no, there was actually still one
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: second left on the clock when the ball was touched.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: And they gave Michigan another play, which led to Michigan
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: throwing a game-winning Hail Mary TD.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: A lot going back there.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I really wish you people would just pay attention to
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: the news so I wouldn't have to recap anything.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Tony, you know, a lot's been going back and forth.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: You had a great point about this. Tell the people.
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: The problem is that all these people who were complaining
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: about the Michigan game were actually watching the game live.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: And that's why they got confused about what happened. You see,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: you never want to do that. You can't watch a
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: game in real time and expect to understand what's happening
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: because everyone's just jumping to conclusions. Because they think what
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: they're seeing in the game is what's actually happening. But
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: that's wrong. The best time to watch a game is
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: five to six hours after the game. When the announcers
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: can correctly explain to you what happened. And the leagues
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: and conferences and referees have all had a chance to
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: examine and analyze all the available results and information, issue
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: their statements, and all their final decisions.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Hopefully, we can all learn from this.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Great points all around, Tony. But, you know, this isn't
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: the first time. We've seen something like this before. You know,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: you see it all the time, you know.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: It happens all the time.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, I remember one time a couple of years back,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: I walked into my aunt's kitchen and the stove clock
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: said 234. But then I looked at the microwave and
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: the time said 233. But then I walked over to
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: the living room and that clock on the wall there
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: said 232. And then I went upstairs to the bedroom
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: and the time on the clock was flashing 12 o'clock.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: And that just goes to show you can't trust clocks. Exactly, Tony.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: And, you know, I've been saying this for a long
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: time about just people in Michigan. I don't think they
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: even know how to use clocks. You know, I went
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: there once a couple of years back.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I'm driving through.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: The state there on the highway and it's 1132 a.m.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: On my clock.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Right. And then suddenly I keep driving still 1132. Suddenly
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: the phone phone suddenly says 1032. And I'm like, What
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: the heck is going on here? Did I just go
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: through a time warp or something? So I went up
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: to someone on the street. I asked him the time
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: and he says 10.32. And I'm like, what in the
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: world is going on?
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: Don't talk about what in the world is going on.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: What in the world?
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: You must have been driving up north in Michigan, like
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: near Wisconsin.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so?
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: So there's a part of Michigan that's in the central
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: time zone. That's all that happened. You crossed from the
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: eastern time zone to the central time zone. It should
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: have been obvious. Oh, yeah.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: Well, you're going to be in the central zone in
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: the scope on my rifle.
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: And you know what time zone your sex life is
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: never in? Mountain time.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, great one, Tony. Oh, shut up. You know what?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: Shut up forever because you're done ruining the show because
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: we're done with the show.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: It was a terrific show otherwise. Hey, don't forget. You
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: visit the merch store. Can you take a hint? Can
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: you take a hint? We just told you to be quiet. What?
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: You said the 49ers had an unfair advantage over the
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: Rams because they flew to Australia earlier and therefore they
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: were a day ahead. And therefore, they were in the
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: future and knew how the game was going to go?
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's called time travel, bro.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're traveling through time.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: No, they're traveling through time zones. And also, time travel
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: is not possible.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, well, on the subject of not possible, you
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: penetrating a woman.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what you've never traveled through? A vagina.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, great.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Now, shut up. Let's get out of here. Just to
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: talk and go.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: You said the problem with the Michigan game wasn't the officiating.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: It was that people watched the game live and jumped
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: to conclusions. And therefore, it's better to wait hours before
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: deciding what actually happened in the game.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: People are impatient, bro. It's called taking time to get
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: it right.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: No, no, no. The ending was clearly botched by the
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: ref and everybody else involved. The clock on everyone's TV
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: screen clearly said zero when he touched the ball. Oh, yeah.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's also zero. The number of women
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: who have touched your balls.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: You know what was also botched? When God made your penis.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're done. That's it.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: You're done because you only get through it.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: We got big news anyway.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Just booked our next week's show, Super Bowl Hero, Eagles
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: legend Nick Foles will be here.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: And don't forget, you rate and review the show on
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: You like and subscribe. You visit the merch store and
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: you buy all the merch. And Tony, great job as always.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Same to you, Paulie. Another flawless show. Let's go, Eagles.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Here we go, Dodie.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: Go, Birds.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: New season. All right, we'll see you people next week.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: See ya.