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The Cost Of Not Listening - Leadership Part 1 · ToddTalks--Spirit By Design: Your Weekly Survival Guide

0:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay though, in my last episode, I kind of skipped to the end without going into the details of the beginning.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: I started telling a little about a little bit about Rohaboam.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Rohabom, however you say his name, and I didn't tell who he was, what went on.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: I just expected you to know it.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: My bad.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna fix that today.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: Before I do that though, I want to talk a little bit about listening.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Listening to the spirit, listening to those around you, listening to advisors, listening to mentors, listening especially to the spirit.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Because I've been I've had it enforced, not enforced, that's not the best word.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: I've had it reinforced in my soul over the last week.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: How important it is and how joyous it is to listen to the spirit and act on the things that we're told.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, I've been involved in a very interesting group that that discusses faith, family, fitness, and finance.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'm leveling up, I'm working to level up myself, and we all want to do that, right?
2:22
SPEAKER_00: We're all trying to get better.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: With that in mind, we're gonna talk about leadership today.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna actually go over in a lot more detail over the next couple episodes what happened with Roeboam.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: Who is King King Benjamin?
2:44
SPEAKER_00: What did he do?
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Why was he so important?
2:48
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna talk about leadership, spiritual leadership.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: You see, leadership isn't about demanding more from people.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: I talked about servant leadership last time, right?
3:04
SPEAKER_00: It's becoming someone worth following, a servant leader.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Even if the only person that you're leading today is yourself or your family.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's so important.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Todd Talks.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: We're diving into one of the greatest leadership failures ever recorded in history.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: In scripture.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: There have been great leadership failures.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: This one was in scripture.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: I hope you get a lot out of tonight.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: Today, it's tonight when I'm recording it.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: As it were, welcome back.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Happy to have you.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: This is Todd Talk, Spirit by Design, where I help you design your spiritual life so that you are prepared and ready for the Lord's second coming when he arrives.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: The leadership failure that we're talking about today didn't happen because of military defeat.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: There's lots of leadership failures in those in history.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: Not talking about that.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: We're not talking about that.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't because God lacked power, because he's all powerful.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And that's not the problem.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: An entire kingdom fractured because one young king refused to listen.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And his name, as we've already mentioned about 15 times, was Rehoboam, the son of the wisest king who ever lived, King Solomon.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Imagine growing up in King Solomon's household.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: Your dad, along with his seven hundred wives and concubines, and all the kids that ran around, was the wisest man gifted by God on earth.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: The greatest kingdom on earth.
5:11
SPEAKER_00: You had every possible advantage.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: Unlimited resources, the best education, a father that was super smart, and within days of becoming king, you manage to fracture your entire kingdom and lose ten of the twelve tribes of Israel.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: There you go.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: That's a pretty big failure.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: One conversation changed history.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Most of us, we make the same mistake.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: Not with kingdoms, but with marriages, families, careers, friendships, church callings, and even our own spiritual lives.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Today we're gonna talk, we're gonna explore why Rehoboam failed, what Christ would have done differently, and what Christ-like attributes save relationships, and how becoming a servant leader begins with leading who?
6:12
SPEAKER_00: Yourself.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: See, every leader eventually faces this question.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: When King Solomon died, all of Israel gathered to crown Rehaboam.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: People came with a request.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: They didn't want rebellion, they didn't come with a threat, just a plea.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: They asked him, or they said, in 1 Kings 12 4, Your father made our yoke grievous.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: Make thou the grievous service of thy father lighter, and we will serve thee.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: So basically they were saying, lighten our burdens.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: Your father taxed us a lot.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm guessing it was a bit expensive to feed and house his 700 wives and concubines.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: Notice the people's promise, though.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: If you lighten our burdens, if you make things easier, we'll gladly follow you.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: They weren't asking for luxury, they weren't, they wanted compassion.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: Every leader eventually hears this question.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it sounds like I need you to listen, I need more encouragement, I need more patience, I need understanding.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: If you're a parent, a spouse, a bishop, a manager, it doesn't matter.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: If you're simply trying to govern your own emotions, if you're running a business, people respond to leaders who care more about lifting than controlling.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: So Rohaboam asked for advice.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: And what did he do?
8:00
SPEAKER_00: He only listened to the advice that he liked.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: You're not you've never done that, right?
8:09
SPEAKER_00: I've never done that.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, maybe I have.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we don't like the advice that we receive.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't mean it's not right.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: That's where listening to the Spirit becomes really important.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: So scripture records something fascinating.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: Rehaboam actually sought counsel.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: He met with the older advisors who had served King Solomon.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: And their counsel was simple.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: If thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day and answer them, then they will be thy servants forever.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Easy, remarkable advice, isn't it?
8:55
SPEAKER_00: It's a paradox, though.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: They told him, serve them, serve first, lead second, lift them, influence follows.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: And the elders understood this principle, the elder advisors.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: They understood that if you serve others and lead from a service perspective, you lift others, they're willing to follow you to the gates of hell.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: They will.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: People willingly follow leaders who genuinely care about them.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: But then Rehabam saw another option.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: He didn't like that option.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: So he asked his young friends, those who had grown up with privilege, they advised him show strength, demand respect, increase the burden.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: In today's language, don't let anyone think you're weak.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: Double down, show them who's boss.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: Sadly, Robohm preferred the advice of his fickle friends, and that fed his pride over the advice that required humility.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: The result?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: Civil war, divided kingdom, generations of conflict, and a lot of dead people.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: Pride usually sounds strong, but it produces weakness.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: Pride, the seventh, one of the deadly sins, often disguises itself as cons as confidence.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: It whispers, if you apologize, people will think you're weak.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: If you forgive, they'll take advantage of you.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: If you serve, people will walk all over you.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: Who teaches the exact opposite?
10:56
SPEAKER_00: Give you a hint.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Starts with Jesus, ends with Christ.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: Is that the easy enough hint for you?
11:06
SPEAKER_00: The Savior completely redefined greatness.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: He taught, Whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister, and whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Matthew 20, 25 to 28.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: Then Jesus gave the ultimate example.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Now, you may not remember, you may not understand when you read the scriptures.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: But they wore sandals back then, and they didn't have nice roads like we do.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: Maybe they had cobblestones if they were lucky, but most of the roads were dirt and mud, and those feet were nasty.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: That's why it was the lowest of the servants that normally washed people's feet when they went into homes.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: He touched lepers, he blessed children, he fed multitudes, he forgave his enemies.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: He carried his own cross.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: If anyone had the right to demand service, it was Jesus.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Instead, he bore the sins of all mankind.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: He chose to serve.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: He helped those who could not help themselves.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: President Thomas S.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Monson often taught, never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: How many kingdoms, homes, friendships, marriages, church organizations could be saved by living that one sentence?
13:04
SPEAKER_00: I've known too many of my friends from high school that left the church because leaders saw them not as people, only as sins and pushed them away.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: Now King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon is the exact opposite of Rehboam.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: He gives the greatest contrast ever.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Rehboam inherited a kingdom.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: King Benjamin earned one.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: Benjamin declared, I have not commanded you to come that ye should fear me, but I myself have labored with mine own hands to serve thee.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: Later he explained why.
13:55
SPEAKER_00: He said, When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, you are only in the service of your God.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: It's in Mosiah 2.17.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Notice the difference.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: Roboam believed leadership meant people serving him.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: King Benjamin knew leadership meant serving the people.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: One kingdom split, and the other experienced peace unlike any other period, almost any other period in Book of Mormon history.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: Leadership isn't measured by how many people serve you.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: It's how many people would choose to follow you.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: It's measured by how many people become stronger because of you.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: How many people you've lifted up.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: The greatest leader that you will ever lead is yourself.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: It's easy to criticize Rahaboam.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: He was a spoiled brat, apparently.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: And all his friends were spoiled brats.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: They had been given every kind of luxury known to man.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: So it's easy to criticize him.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: His greatest failure wasn't political, it was personal.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: He couldn't govern his own pride.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: He never learned how to master his ego.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: He couldn't control his need to appear powerful.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: How many people do you know that suffer from that today?
15:23
SPEAKER_00: It's where leadership always begins.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Not in boardrooms, not in pulpits, not in government, inside your own part.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: You have to learn to control them.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: President Ezartaf Benson taught that pride is the universal sin.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Pride cometh before the fall, right?
15:45
SPEAKER_00: Pride blinds us, it prevents correction, it resists counsel.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: It values appearance over truth.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: Rehoboam lost Israel long before Israel left him.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: He lost it inside of himself.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: So what does it take to be a Christ-like leader?
16:07
SPEAKER_00: It takes humility.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: Humility asks, what if I'm wrong?
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Humility asks others for advice.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: A humble person grows faster because correction doesn't offend them.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: Meekness.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: Meekness isn't weakness.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: It is strength under control.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Christ possessed all power.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: He was strong body and in spirit.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: Yet he exercised perfect restraint.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: Rehoboam confused imitation with intimidation with strength.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Jesus demonstrated that love is stronger than force.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: Charity.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: Charity asks, how can I lighten someone else's burden?
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Instead of, how can I protect my status?
16:58
SPEAKER_00: Moroni teaches that charity is the pure love of Christ.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: We've talked about that in the previous episode.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: That kind of love changes every relationship.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: You know, I've got a good friend here named Devin that he to me is a perfect example of Christ-like love.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: He loves everybody.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: And he shows it in his words and his actions, the way he talks to people, the way he treats others.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: It's no wonder that the Lord blesses him.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: Wisdom.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: Wisdom isn't collecting opinions.
17:42
SPEAKER_00: Wisdom is discerning which counsel comes from God.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Listening to the Spirit.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: The Spirit will always confirm truth.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: Ruhboam rejected experienced servants in favor of inexperienced peers that were spoiled rotten.
18:01
SPEAKER_00: That happens today, you know, it still happens.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: Whenever we seek advice that validates us instead of challenges us.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: Teachability, oh, I've talked about teachability.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: My buddy that got to be a 1,500-hour co-pilot.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: If you're not teachable, you're not going to progress.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: Remain teachable.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: President Russell M.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: Nelson has repeatedly invited disciples to keep learning by revelation and to hear him, hear Christ.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: He's always wanting to teach us more.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: Teachable people continue progressing throughout life.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: Good pilots make constant corrections when we see these weaknesses in ourselves.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: Good disciples do the same thing.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Repentance isn't proof you've failed.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: It's proof you're still flying towards Christ.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: So every leader should ask these questions before every important decision.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: Ask, am I trying to be right or trying to bless others?
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Am I listening to wise counsel?
19:17
SPEAKER_00: Have I sincerely prayed about this?
19:19
SPEAKER_00: We have told our kids over and over and over and over again, pray about it.
19:26
SPEAKER_00: Ask the Lord what he wants you to do.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: Then make a decision.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: Act on it.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: He'll let you know if it was the right answer.
19:37
SPEAKER_00: Is pride influencing my decision?
19:40
SPEAKER_00: Would Jesus respond this way?
19:43
SPEAKER_00: Am I increasing burdens or am I helping to carry them?
19:50
SPEAKER_00: I like the previous one.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: What would Jesus do?
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Heard that somewhere before.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: Maybe on a bracelet?
19:57
SPEAKER_00: If everyone followed my example today, what kind of world would exist tomorrow?
20:04
SPEAKER_00: Captain Moroni.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: My favorite, favorite person in the Book of Mormon.
20:11
SPEAKER_00: If every man were and would be like Captain Moroni, the very gates of hell would be closed.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: You see, he was a servant leader.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: I'll tell more about him.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: I'll do an entire episode on him because he's my favorite.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: So these questions can save kingdoms, whatever kind of kingdom you are leading.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: Your personal kingdom is not made of cities, it's not made of.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe you are a king.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: Maybe the one person listening to this that is a king.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: But for the rest of us that don't have that are not kings, your kingdom is made of your marriage, your children, your co-workers, your ward, your friends, your influence online, your own thoughts.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: Every day you decide what kind of ruler you'll become.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: Will people feel heavier after interacting with you or lighter?
21:11
SPEAKER_00: Will your thoughts condemn you or encourage repentance?
21:14
SPEAKER_00: Will your leadership inspire fear or faith?
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Jesus never led with manipulation.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: Never with ego, never with intimidation.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: He led through sacrifice, through compassion, through service, through perfect love.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: The irony is beauty.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Rehaboam feared losing authority if he became a servant.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: Jesus gained eternal authority because he became the perfect servant.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: That's heaven's pattern.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Those who kneel to serve eventually stand with power.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: Those who demand power often lose both.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: They'll lose influence and peace.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: So this week, here's your challenge.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Identify one kingdom that you've been trying to control.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking, how can I get people to do what I want?
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Ask, how can I better serve?
22:10
SPEAKER_00: If the kingdom you need to lead is your own heart, begin there.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Pray for humility, seek wise counsel, repent quickly, listen before speaking, serve before leading.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Because the strongest leaders are first the strongest disciples.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: And discipleship becomes begins by becoming more like Christ.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me today on Todd Talk, Spirit by Design.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: I will be continuing this leadership discussion in the next episode as we as we talk about leadership mistakes and how to keep your own life from falling apart.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: That'll be the next episode.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: Until then, this has been Todd Talks.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Leave a five-star review, share it with a friend so that we can get more people out there to improve their spiritual life, become better servant leaders, and as always, have a blessed day.