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Personal Chefs To Celebrities (with Vinny Thomas) · Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: this week on the show Oops, It's Private, It's private Chefs.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Celebrities have a wealth of money that they can use
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: to do whatever they want with and one of the
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: biggest things they do is hire people to cook their meals.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: We're talking to some of the most well known by
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: famous people private chefs in Hollywood.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: So saute those peppers and put the foi gras in
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: the fridge and let's listen in.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Spill all over myself. Oh my, I just spill it
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: all over myself. They call me the messy chef. I
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: guess I've lived up to my name. No way, I'm
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: living up to my name.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: Love it. I love the chef.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: Hey, I like being a messy chef.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: You know, my clients don't always like it, but certainly
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: sometimes who I am.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, of course. What incredible we have here. Yeah,
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: it's incredible to see you all. I know I've met
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: some of you at the private chef mixers. I know
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: we don't get to as a private chef. I would
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: say our jobs are quite solitary. It's often me, my
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: phone and a bunch of grocery stores. That's my coworkers
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: are the grocery stores. I frequent, I would.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Say, honestly, and I look forward every year to the mixer,
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: which is the only day I am alloted away, of
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: course because my my my boss sign an NDA can't
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: say the name, but I appreciate them. Keeps me on
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: the compound twenty four to seven. Yeah, I'm rarely let out.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Is it a compound.
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: It is a compound. It's a compound in Beverly Hills. Okay,
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: compound in Beverly Hills. And he saw me. I was working,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: was working at a wonderful restaurant, a Michelin Star. And
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: he tasted my eggs and he said, my scrambled eggs.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: And he said I have to have you. And I
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: said I'd be far too expensive. And he offered me
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: millions of dollars and he said, come with me to
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: my compound. And then during COVID he said you have
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: to stay, and.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: I did you now by have to What happens if
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: you don't? The hounds, Oh, the hound, the hounds. That's
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: actually a pretty typical occupational hazard in our industry.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest, I'm surprised you're scared of the hounds.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: As chefs, we have a lot of tools at our disposal.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: You know, throwing a big steak is probably the number
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: one thing I think of when he comes to.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: The hounds, throwing a large steak.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't be afraid to leave any sort of place.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm kind of a risk taker. I'm kind
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: of an interesting guy.
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: But of course, you know, I can't. I can't believe
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: you haven't tried to escape. Maybe you don't want to.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: I think my employer is kind of he's always four
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: steps ahead.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Sure, it's very.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: Smart, yes, And so he doesn't allow me sharp tools, Yes,
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: I can't. I can't say more than that, and I
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: won't of course. But the knives he gives me our
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: child's plain knives plastic of course. So there's nothing to
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: be done as far as the stakes go. There under
• 3:16
  Speaker 5: lock and key. I have to use a code to activate.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: If I take too many steak, the alarm goes off.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: The hounds are loosed, and the chef hounds.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: It's so difficult when the hounds are loosed. My hounds
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: were loosed in the Hampton's. That was my first time
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: the hounds me I cannot say, but her name rhymes
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: with Shartha Poort. That's what the collar on the message boards.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: At least you color.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: Port on the message boards. And sometimes I eat too
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: much ratitui and I shart A poored myself.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: A little have humor.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: This is the kind of stuff that happens only at
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: the mixer. We get so corrected.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Usually I don't remember you guys after the mixer because
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: I'm usually little.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: Had a little piano the wa Well.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: It's basically the biggest industry night, right, Like it's basically
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: us getting together.
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: But we're not line cooks together.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I'm come from the line cook world. So that's who
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I was, That's who I am, That's I always will be.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, listen, we don't have a union, but the
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: fact that we have a mixer is crazy. Okay, we
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: all individually have our own thing, own contracts, own.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: NDAs the whole thing. We don't have a union at all.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: But logistically, how do you get the emails? It's my question?
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: How do they have all our emails?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And who who puts on the mixer? I don't know,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: but we go every year.
• 4:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, since we don't have name talks on because
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: this isn't the mixer.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Of course, we have to say our name.
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: So one at a time. Uh, and the gentleman, okay, hello,
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: I am Stuart Bowert the gruff I added that I'm Stuart.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: I'm Stuart and pretty close to Poart. Go ahead. Maybe
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: that's why that joke came so natural. Maybe because I
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: was staring at Poort over there and I went, wouldn't
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: it be funny?
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: But go ahead?
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Stuart, I digress, I digress boo b o o b
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: o o e r T. I exactly how I thought
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: it was.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, good, just in there in the room.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: I'm Stuart Bowart. I grew up in the Valley of California. Sorry,
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: I'm figuring it out. I grew up in the Valley
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: of California. Now Valley of La or Valley of California
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: is in like the Central Valley, the Central Valley. I
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: am the only chef to come out of Bakersfield. Is
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: that the Central Valley.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: There's no way to know, Sorry, guys, I don't I
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not used to talking.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: I'm used to cooking. Anyway, Stuart from the Valley and
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: the only chef to come out of Bakersfield, a chef
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: to ever come out of Bakersfield. And yeah, I work
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: for a lot.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Of people, and you know, I can't really see who
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I work for, but I'll say it's a real.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Housewife, you know what I mean?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Yes, one of the real house She doesn't one of
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: the real.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: House I feel like you're trying to communicate that's me.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Who's next? Okay, Okay, Well I'll know. God, I want
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: to hear you, Stuart. Stop. I've already loaded up the
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: truck and I'm ready to sit. Hi, everybody. I am
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: Samantha Saint Claire, and I am a private chef for
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: uh celebrities who are women in their second act, so
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: women of a certain age who are divorced. That is
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: a requirement. I don't work with women on their first
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: marriage because that's when things get tough, but when their
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: second marriage, or women who have been divorced once have
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: a sort of Jenna say quah about life, a sort
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: of easy, breezy, beautiful, a sort of Nancy Meyer's aesthetic
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: to their kitchen that I find I work better with.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Well, we'll get into this because I work for a
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: lot of divorces as well. On the first marriage you're right,
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: it's not it's not a good idea to work for
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: someone who recently got divorced, because you basically become a
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: surrogate wife or husband for them. They are so hell
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: bent on making sure that you kind of fit that
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: role they're not ready to realize. And then there's always
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: some inevitable moment where they cry in the kitchen and
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: you have to console that your hands are covered in
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: noodles or whatever and got weird situation. So you got
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: hand makeen noodles. Yeah, I use a press. Obviously, I don't.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I don't handmake when noodles to put them through a machine.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, I hand make them.
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: Hand makes spaghetti.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: How do you make it flat? Well, you know there's
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: many parts of that, right. So they're my fingers, which
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: I call the scramblers. That's when you make that. That's
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: when you sort of twist the noodles around. Uh. Then
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: I have the palm of my hand, that's what I
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: call the flattener. And then I have the mixer, which
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: I which this is uh, this is how this is
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: sort of the arm.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: She has the most incredible technique for making ravioli, where
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: she slams both of her fists down on the pasta
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: like an ape, and.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: And I look like an angry, angry ape like King Kong.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: That's scary ape.
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: And the pasta is paper thin, translucent, see through it.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: You sell that merch on your website. Right, Keep utensils
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: to yourself.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: You use everything to yourself. No, I don't use utensils
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: because I and you know I'm reasonable. I like to
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: save my client's money anyway they can. And I find
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: that one way. You know, there's ending so much time
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: on their lawyers and everything, and so it's like, if
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: I can save the money by not buying utensils, I will,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: And because I care, and you know, that gets folded
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: back into my rate. And I'm so glad that you
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: saw that. I'm glad you saw my masterclass.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: I've seen everything she does, the most incredible thing because
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: she doesn't use utensils. She'll she'll turn her hand into
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: a kind of ladle, and she'll stick it directly into
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: hot soup. Yes, and just poor entire bulls worth of
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: soup from from a ladle hand.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: And that was something I had to pain condition myself
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: for for many many years. Alice every yes, until I
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: callous over and now I can u. You know those
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: bacteria that live in volcanoes.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: Ye, yes, so good, put a little jelly on them.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Can I say, does anybody find it disgusting what you
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: do with your hands?
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Yes? There have been some celebrities who didn't like what
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I do with my hands, but that was mostly in
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: the bedroom.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Interesting, yes, okay, all right, well I'll introduce myself real quick.
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: My name is Dustin Rush, Dusty Rush, as you might
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: know me. I uh as, I told you a line cook,
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: through and through.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I did that in my whole life, and worked in
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: West Hollywood, work right next to the Rocks. And now
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: I find myself the personal chef for a lot of
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: older rock stars of a certain age, again mostly divorced.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: They want some guy who knows how to cook stuff.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: But they don't want some fancy pants you know. They
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: want some rough, gruff guy who runs around. They want
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: to feel a little bit of chaos in their kitchen.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: So I'm always running behind, behind, behind, even if it's
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: a giant kitchen and there's nobody there. They want the
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: vibe of a messy, dirty, grungy bar and grill.
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: So that's what I like to bring.
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: Okay, and there's I will say, there's nothing wrong with
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: fans for the fancy. There's actually nothing wrong with but
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: to be fancy is to be brave?
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: Sure, whoa, I loved that. Sure?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: And look I read that poem too when I was
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: a kid. Read that to me in fourth grade. To
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: be fancy, ye poe, Yeah, my favorite Grell and Pope poem,
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: To be fancy.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: Is to be brave, to be brave, and the rest
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: of it got wretching.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the rest of it is about an exposed brain
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: that's being eaten by a black cat.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, I only read the first sentence.
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: And on that note, my name is Stuben Macadamia. I
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: attended the Harvard School of Deep Frying. I spent in
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: service at Republic. Maybe you've heard of it.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: Thank you for your service public.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Also, can we get a time check how long it
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: took this guy to mention that he went to Harvard.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: And getting like the ovens, was in charge, getting like
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: the ovens on. It's getting like the oven course, go ahead,
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Crimson Tide or is that a different school?
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: That's all?
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: Okay, never mind, No, you're thinking of roll the ovens.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking of roll. It's getting like the oven roll
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: the ovens up.
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: Anyway, I was in charge of peeling grapes, eggs, anything
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: that needed to be peeled, I peeled it in preparation
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: for it to be slid down the gullets of our
• 12:20
  Speaker 6: of our consumer.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: And now public because Republic has this amazing section which
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: I don't know if regular customers of Republic, but there
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: is a VIP section where there's sort of a conveyor
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: belt for celebrities food.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: Right, be very inter peeled, that's what it means there.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, of course, very inter peeled.
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: There's a conveyor belt appeeled item IP just far guests
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: and it dumps them.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: M straight down the gullet, Yes, into their open malls. Now,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: how long were you at Republic before you started you
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: moved to the compound.
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: Oh days, I was there for days. He tried my eggs.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: He came in, he tried my eggs, and he said,
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: I have I have to have him. And he's not
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: a celebrity in the traditional sense, but he has a
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: lot of money. You'll never see him on TV. But
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: you use his oil to run your car.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Bread crumbs like Italian bread crumbs. You use his mode.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: You use his oil to run your car.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: Ricky Texico, I can't say, okay.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Oil to run his Jeremy AutoZone.
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: It is Jeremy.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: It was the second guess, but you got it too,
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: guesses guesses.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: You guys are too.
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: Good at this game. Game compound for I've been on
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: that compound for two and a half years.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: What's fascinating is usually when you cook for a celebrity ship,
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: you cook for the family as well.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Totally.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: I cook for a single man who's not interested in romance,
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: not interested in a family or children, and he eats
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: so many meals every day, twelve meters. He has a
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: hummingbird disease twelve a day.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, a disease he got from a humming bird, or
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: it's named after hummingbird.
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: He was bit by a hummingbird. And so now he
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: has to eat twelve meals a day like a hummingbird,
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: or he will die.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: Quite the spider Man effect. Yes he got Yes.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: Does he go into torpor at night too?
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: He does?
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: Go Oh, you can't even sense a heartbeat? Wow, you can't,
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: my god.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Well, honestly, I tell you that you probably get away
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: with not having to do all the stupid shit you
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: always had to do for the rest of the family.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Let me tell you a part of me dies every
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: time I'm.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Cooking for my client and then my client's kids want
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: me to cook carrot sticks for them. You mean just
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: take out carrot sticks out of the snack pack and
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: put it on a plate.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Well, that's the interesting thing is a lot of rich
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: people don't know how their food gets there. So I
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: will say that a lot of times if they ask,
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: you know, can I have those little crackers you make
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: with the little cheese in the middle. What I'm putting
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: on a plate is those ritz cheese cracker sandwiches. But
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: they think I've made it. Sometimes I tried to because
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: I'm bored. I tried to cook a gusher. Impossible.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: It was impossible.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: Well impossible.
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: Did you say impossible or impossible?
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: I said impossible? Okay, I'm a chef, I say impossible.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: You've got the brain, so really you couldn't figure out
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: how to cook a gusher? Wait, I I didn't know
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: how you guys would make a gush.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: I definitely know how to cook gusher. How would you
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: guys do a gusher?
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: And would you like to start?
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Well? Well, of course, well, I use the uh. The
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Adler technique where you straychnique, Yes, the stellar stella Adler's
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: technique for cooking gushers where you melt a fruit roll
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: up above a yeah, and then you demiglaze it with fire,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: and then two seconds in the fridge, two seconds in
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: the freezer, two seconds in the oven, flip flat, flop,
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: and then you got a gusher.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: Yes, I'll do a corn syrup or blanc and on
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: top of that, I'll put a single contact lens on
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: the top and a single contact lins interesting bottom near
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: side of you.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Sid.
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: Yes, it depends on if you want it to pop,
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: her to burst right, because.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: That's because I prefer burst. I prefer burst. Yeah, how
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: would you cook it?
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: Well, here's the thing. I just want to be clear.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: A far seided contact contact is usually plastic, and a
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: near side of contact is usually a harder glass some
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: sort of specific thing. So it is going to change
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: things a lot.
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: It's gonna burst.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm easy, I'm gonna I'm going to Wellington that thing.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna wrap it in a flaky pastry and cook it.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be a tiny Well, that's the thing.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: What do you mean the gusher?
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: See I'm asking how you cook a gusher.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I'm taking the gusher, I'm wrapping it in a nice
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: flaky pastry I'm putting in the oven in a four
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: hundred forty five minutes.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: That it's difficult to understand.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm a simple man. But have you
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: if you've ever caramelized a gusher, this is a quick
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: private chef hack you you should listen to this. Caramelize
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: a gusher each side twenty minutes on the stove with
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: some butter or vegetable oil, whichever you have. Peanut oil
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: is preferred, but I don't usually go that way. And
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: then you could put them in the freezer for later,
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: and then you throw them in the pan anytime you
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: need to add them as a topic.
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: Here's another good private chef tip, lines of gush. If
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: you buy a gusher from the store, Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: It's usually what I do.
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you get you get a tiny hose and you
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: rinse out the inside of it.
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: This is really good.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: This is the inside of it. You stuff it with
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: some kind of a spiced meat or something spiced meat. Yeah,
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: you can make the most delightful little empanadus. But you
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: have to rinse them out first.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: It sounds like a fruit and you have to rinse
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: them out. It is disaster.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: Only chefs know this, right, this is a TikTok. Only
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: chefs know this. Only chefs know this.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: When you clean a gusher out, yeah, it looks completely different.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: The skin without the juice is ghastly. It's strange looking.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I've made it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: Have you cleaned one out? Have you cleaned out a
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: pop tar?
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: No?
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: I have cleaned out a popcar with a host. Oh,
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: that actually might make the rest of it wet. That's
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: what I've struggled with. So I used to that.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Man, I wish I could get this creative with cooking.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: I really wish when I'm cooking for my uh newly
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: divorced single dad.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: You name one please?
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll name a bunch of them. Axel Rose slash Wow.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: John bon Jovi.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Had a slash like his coffee in the morning.
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: He likes it drunk. That's that's he just doesn't matter.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: That's the thing. What I'm saying.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: I want to be in there and I'm ready to go.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: I cook and I look. I worked at so many
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: cool places and I tried to go and pick a
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: bunch of stuff that I can make, and I'm up,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: this guy is gonna really love this really really really
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: good tacla tel or something like that. Right, and then
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: he comes in He goes, I don't know, just another
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: frozen pizza.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, man, you hired me, you know what
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: I mean. You got a private chef.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: I can make something nice.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know, dinosaur chicken nuggets. Yeah, and come on,
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: They don't know what's possible earlier, they don't know where
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: food comes from. My guy, My guy. One day, he
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: asked me, he said, is it cow season yet? Are
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: the cows ripe? I said, what the hell are you
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: talking about? He thinks that meat comes in and out.
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: There's a season for flesh. I said, that doesn't make
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: any sense. You're not eating the steak out of season.
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: You just get it whenever. But he thinks there's a
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: cow season a chicken season. He said, no, this tastes
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: like a hot house. This tastes like a hot house beef, Patty.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: And I said, surely, surely it isn't. It's just it's
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: just a heifer.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: What does you mean by hothouse beef? Patty?
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: He thinks it was grown in a greenhouse out of season.
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: But it's not.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, yes, it's a mistake. They don't know. They
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: don't they don't know. They wanted, uh, they wanted me
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: to get Greek yogurt fresh caught, and I don't really
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: know what that. I don't really know how to do that.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: They sort of and they expect me. Some you guys
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: are getting great yogurt, fresh caught meat. I'm getting gusher. No,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: that's I mean, that's basically it. They expect. They think
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: they have this picture in my mom in their mind
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: because they've heard from you know, lots of their their
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: liberal showbiz friends. You know, well, you want to be
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: ethical about the farms that you get from, the things
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: that you source from. Have you run into any trouble
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: sourcing things? Because I know that a lot of clients
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: they really want the cream of the crop, the best
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: ingredients possible. I know that I've run into some trouble
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: with that.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, I will be honest, I have
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: run into some trouble. John Mellencamp wanted a very specific
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: sprite that was made in nineteen sixty nine to taste
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: just like that summer, and I had to tell it,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: my man, I can't get you one of those civil
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: rights sprite civil rights sprite exactly.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: Oh and I heard sprite remix was trying to taste
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: a little bit.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Like they deemed that pretty race.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: They said, you shouldn't call it remix if already call
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: it remix.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: But we caught their ass.
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: We got their asses, and we got him.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: But yeah, John Mellen Camp is stuck in the summer
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: of sixty nine and it's sad for him, and it
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: sucks for me because I have to go back. And
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: then I'm talking to these people that sell like World
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: War two rations on eBay to see if they have
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: vintage sprite, and it's just.
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: Like, come on, man, well that's fascinating. Do you guys
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: you have relationships with any producers or growers or people
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: who acquire anything.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a good questions, A good question. It's
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: a good question because I go to van I'll take
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: that one.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: I have a Vons club card and I go to Van's. Yeah,
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Siretta loves Vaughns. Yeah.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I go straight to Van's and I get my stuff.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: What about you guys, You guys go straight to a grower.
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: I I do, yes, especially my boss, my guy. He
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: loves minerals. He loves them.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: So there's this.
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: Wonderful little mind in somewhere in East Asia, and that's
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: where I get all of his iron. He doesn't like
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: it in tablets and bottles. He likes his iron supplements
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: literally chipped from a piece of iron. Wow. So I
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: get that, and I chip it. I chip it a
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: little bit into his into his sorghum, his sorghum gruel
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: that he has every morning for breakfast. I shave a
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: little into a sorghum gruel because it's terribly anemic. He's
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: anxious and he's anemic, and he needs the iron badly.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, minerals as well. That's fascinating. No, I'm telling you this.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: I feel I got you. I feel.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: I feel as if you're talking about his minerals this morning.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: Either something about what you just did, the kind of entrance,
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: all of it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: Absolutely absolutely, I an't feel a little changed after hearing that.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: We all feel a little changed in many dairy various ways.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you, you're talking about minerals, and I
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: do want to talk. There's a bunch of chefs at
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: their table. Sometimes I feel like if you bring private
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: chefs around a room. It's basically like bringing a bunch
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: of juices and asai bowl makers now, because that's.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: All they want, that's all they want. They want, that's
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: all they want.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: And like you're making mineral water or whatever the fuck
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: that is, sorghum, I'm making the amount of achai bowls
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I am making asai bowls.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: A chai bowl. Well, Achai bowls are much harder to source.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: They're much more difficult. Yes, and I still go to vants.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: It's crazy, it's crazy. Yes, I'd say that I actually
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: have to source a lot of my clients. Heard from
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: a friend and I don't know who this friend is,
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: but I think her name rhymes with Pulia muh birds
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: and she's been spreading something about how you should be
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: eating feels.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: Always always did I say, I've got poo.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: On the brain?
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: Okay, explains it, my friends.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: If you work in this industry, you know, let's you
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: know what, Let's get into it, right because we're only
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: talking about the eating part. We never talk about the pool.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: Alldrains lead to the ocean, right, Yes, Yes, show.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Me a private chef that doesn't have pool on the brain,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: and I'll wait and I'll wait anyway.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: Julia Roberts, or as I call her Pulia Bubirds, has
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: been spreading just.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Said her name anyways, sorry, go ahead.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: So yeah, she's actually going to come for me. So
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: we're going to make some creative edits. She's been spreading
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: this rumor that bee pollen is good for attracting uh, wealthy,
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: well to do men, and so they've been asking for bees.
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: But we also know so that the bees are going extinct.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: There's problems with the bee sure, So they're looking for
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: bees who have a lust for life. That's the request.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: And so I have to go visit bee keepers. I
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: scout them on TikTok. I scout a lot of beekeepers
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: on TikTok to see who has the best vibes, to
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: see whose bees have the best vibes. And then I
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: have to go all over the country. And I got
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: to say, that's most of my job, most of.
• 25:25
  Speaker 5: Has Pulia ever tried to poach you? Have any of
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: you ever ever almost been poached by Yeah?
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I've poached an egg.
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: I talking about what we're talking about client career, career, Yeah,
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: the stranger things boys want to have me is separately
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: all of them want to exactly, but they're not ready
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: because they don't have enough anngs and and and I
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: know they're going to make me work too hard.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: To be honest, you have to wait until they mature.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: I gotta wait until they need me, you know what
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: I mean. You can't want me, you gotta need me.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know, though, I feel like these out of
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: work rock stars are the ones that want the frozen food.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: And I feel like if you got someone younger, maybe
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: they would test your culinary skills more, because I'll tell you,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: there's nothing sadder than a man with a frozen pizza
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: saying behind behind because there's nobody in there.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: You're by yourself.
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: It's a giant but and they're watching from the patio.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: You know, they go back and forth between watching a
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: hummingbird thinking that's a sign that their ex wife is
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: trying to reach out to them, and then looking back
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: at me scooping behind behind to an empty.
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: Vacuous kitchen. Right.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: But the problem is, I feel an emotional connection to
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: these guys.
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: I feel for them, I look out for them.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: You know, they see me as some sort of young
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: guy that can bring energy back into their life. I
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: kinda gotten used to the amount of work. I don't
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: want to do the work the gate and Myraza wants
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: me to do for him.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: From what I hear, he loves to do surprise buffets
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: for all of his friends.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: Oh that's the social ones. Are the ones you gotta
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: watch out. Yeah, true social where they go Wake up.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: I want to make empanadas straight am, and I want
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: to cot and my boys are here. Yes, slls could
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: never be.
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: It's for that reason that I can't work for Brian Cox,
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: and he wants me to work for him very badly,
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: keeps set Looney Tune style traps. Looney Tune style traps.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Bryan cockct don't style trap is.
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: Wow, I'm nervous for his back.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm nervous. I'm nervous. He shouldn't be. He should
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: be outsourcing that to someone else. He's trying to trap
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: you to cook him.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: What he wants to trap me and take me on
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: as his cook. And what he'll do is sometimes he'll
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: put it like a beautiful pile of concord grapes on
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: the sidewalk and above it'll be like a po or
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: cage or something, and when I reach for the grapes,
• 27:28
  Speaker 5: he'll drop it or something that I'll get away. I'll
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: sneak out at the last second and I'll say, oh,
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: you win this time. Or sometimes he'll draw a beautiful,
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: elaborate tunnel on a wall and as I try to
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: walk through it, he tries to get me with a
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: big old net or something, and and it's hard. I
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: don't know if i'd want to work for him, just
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: because he does have a lot of parties, he has
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: a lot of functions. Yeah, he loves cheese, heavy cheese,
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: too heavy for one person.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: Fermel, Right, he's a babe.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: He's yeah, he's a he's a be male.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: Oh that it's a good one. Good to go back
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: and break that down becamels and cheese.
• 28:09
  Speaker 7: I think, yeah, we could break that down further. So
• 28:12
  Speaker 7: the way that I interpreted that was there's something called
• 28:14
  Speaker 7: a beta male and bencham mal sounds quite similar to that.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I actually wasn't even going that far to bait cheese.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, thank god, I said let's break it.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: I guess I see things a little differently. If I
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: didn't stop this to talk about that, we wouldn't We
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: never would have known you never would have known.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: And speaking of seeing things a little differently, is there
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: a traditional recipe that you all put your fun little
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: twist on?
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: Great question? I do an angry ice cream? I do
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: an angry ice cream? A furious ice cream? Uh, it's art.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Yes on request and the phrase a car when you're
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: cooking for one person, Yes.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: All the carcase yes. Do you want it ala card?
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Or do you want it freestyle? So I, oh, you
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: mean ice cream ala mode? Yes, well you can get
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: the ice cream ala mode if you want. That's just
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: another scoop of ice cream. But I can't make the
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: second scoop angry. I can only make the base scoop angry.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: I go to this cow that has a lot of issues. Well,
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: the farmer is absolutely traumatized. I go to this traumatized
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: farmer who has just been broken down in tears by
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: trying to milk this angry, angry cow, and I feel
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: bad for the cow anger. I thought I thought the
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: cow was sick.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: I would use a cow milk. No, I wouldn't do that.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: Mad cow as in mad cow disease. It's an angry
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: cow A short fuse because his dad was angry mode wait,
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: what is it? Yes, I got it.
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: Cow with a lot of issues. Sounds like my mother anyway.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: Anyway, Yeah, we can't win them all.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I didn't like that very much. I actually didn't like that.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: I think I think mothers are all angels. And I actually,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: if my mom's watching, that wasn't What.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: Are you single and trying to date? What it's like
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: you're pandering.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: I'm not pantering.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: I just think moms are beautiful and I'm not going
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: to disparage them because some chef from a cult tells
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: me that I should.
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: It's not a cult at Harvard University School the compound
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: you're on, Oh, of course, is it a cult?
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Is it a cult if it's just two people?
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: Are there people there?
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: I never see them, but they are the other have
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: to use the tunnels.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: But what's a dish you have that you have a
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: fun twist on? You have an angry ice cream? What
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: about you?
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: Imagine a hotspot show?
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: Tomato soup, tomato soup?
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, lumpy
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: tomato soup. I'm so sorry. We've all been there, We've
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: been there. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, man, I'm so sorry.
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: We could ever find out.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: No, No, Jeremy auto Zone will never find out. At
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: least you didn't call it the gestapo. I always do that.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: I go time for that.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: You always do that, huh, always time for a little joke.
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: Don't cry, Oh, don't cry.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: To cry, Oh, don't cry, don't cry.
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: Don't cry.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: First time out of the compound in a while, I
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: imagine you're next.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, so, uh, just that I like to do.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: One of my favorite things is I make a cobbler,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: but with honeycomb and so it's a little crunchy, it's
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: a little interesting. It's honeycomb and apple, and that's one
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: of my favorite things. When I'm not working for one
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: of these guys. One thing that I like to do
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: for these guys it usually seems to cheer them up,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: is I make a single fun fetti cupcake and I
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: put the dunk a Ruse frosting on top of it,
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: and so it tastes like Dunker Ruse for them, which
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: reminds them of when they're hanging out with their kids,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: which they usually are missing when I'm hanging out with them.
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: You mean tomato soup.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: No, it's actually completely different, And I understand your hurt man.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: I understand, and that's not going to work for the
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: things we say. Yeah, but I understand.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: I understand that's not a burn for anyone, but you
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: in that specific situation.
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: One on me really good.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: That was a specific situation.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: Yes, of course, yeah, I think it sounds good. I
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: bet the spices are different than a normal tomato soup.
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: So no, it eats lukewarm.
• 32:50
  Speaker 5: No, I get it. I get it from the cannon.
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: I put it in the fridge and then it's a
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: spot show and then I heat it up and then
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: it's soup. I'm a fraud. Oh oh no, they only
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: taught me to fry Harvard School of Frying.
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: Oh right, I forgot your fry.
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: I taught myself how to peel. But those are the
• 33:05
  Speaker 5: only two things really and I guess.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: You peeled the can open.
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: The only two things I really know how to do.
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: And you can feel like a So how did you
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: get how did you get discover? Oh you already went
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: into how you got discovered? You did before you did. Well,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: how did you guys get discovered? Well?
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: I do want to ask your your dish that you make.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: I'll tell you both.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I I make, I don't get to make this a
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: lot for all the housewives that work for Erica. Jane
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: used to love it, but then she stopped, and Bethany
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Frankel loved it too. I I make a Caesar salad
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: klutons only. Oh so it's really a bowl of small,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: crunchy bread.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: And it's incredible.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: How many how many salad mixes you have to buy
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: and throw out to just get those little.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: Passages because you know, I'm going on Ralphs, I know.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: So I get I get all those mixes and I
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: just get the croutons. I'll put the cheese in there,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: put the put the dressing, but just basically no lettuce.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: So I make salad chips.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: You know, I have to add, you know, do you
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: ever just.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: Sat to make salad chips? Yes, salad chips.
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: I have to ask. We're all very concerned about naming
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: our bosses, but it seems like it's the case that
• 34:19
  Speaker 5: you reflexively name the Do the housewives want each other
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: to know what they're.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: So I have the opposite of an NDA, And you
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: guys said NDA. I thought we had an n DA.
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: Mine is DA.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: Disclosure disclosure disclose us.
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: So yeah, the housewives they all you know, they want,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: they want any time.
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: D do you do disclose us?
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: Do you?
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I signed anything they give to me. But I did, Yeah,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: I did. I did cook for Judd Apatow back in
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: the day, the only celebrity I've ever cooked for. And
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: I am huge, huge at the time. But then I started,
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I started working only for the housewives because they just
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: recommended me, recommended me. I never had to put my
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: name out up there ever again because they just they
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: just pick pong me all around. And yeah, so they
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: they they want any press I do.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: I illegally have to say I work for them.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: So yeah, you hit the nail on the head, you
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: hit the icing on the cupcake, you hit.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: The parsley on top of the meat ball. Yes, yes, exactly,
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: you guys, that's a great Yes.
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: That's the hood of a car.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, last meal before you die, go, last meal to cook.
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: To cook, to cook, to cook.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: Client is dying tomorrow. My client is dying.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: That's a tough question.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: I've dealt with a lot of that with my my
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: aging rockers.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: My client is dying tomorrow. I know exactly what I'm
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: going to do.
• 35:57
  Speaker 5: I do. I would keep it light cottage cheese in
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: half a melon.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: What a meal before?
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Well, so your client's stand tomorrow and that's the first meal.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Your client is famously going to eat twelve meals. So
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: i'd be curious what all twelve are going to be?
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: Cottage cheese in first honeydew and then and then cantalope
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: and then water melon. And maybe i'd switch up the
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: cheese too, Like the first one would be cottage cheese
• 36:25
  Speaker 5: and a honeydew. But then I do maybe a pecorino
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: romano in a horned melon or something, just something, whatever
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: it is, it has to be light. Yeah, I don't
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: want him going to wherever he's going with a with
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: a with a heavy tummy. The heavier the tom meat,
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: the closer to the hell.
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: So the light, the.
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: Quicker you float up there. No one likes the glutton
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: and for your client, something like a jalapeno popper.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: I don't like the way you said it, but correct,
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: exactly correct, it's gonna be a julapeno popper.
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: They might well, it depends on the It depends on
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: the rocker, you know. I think a lot of them
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: actually just want a plate of mazzarella sticks that tastes
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: like that from the Belly Up in San Diego, which
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: is it's a rock concert venue that people love.
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: It usually is a meal that they ate when they
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: were coming up in some club that gave them their
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: big shot.
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: Poetic in kind of a way. A lot of it.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: A lot of times it's buffalo wings, celery stuff like that.
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, I I have this recipe for chickpeas
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: that makes me smile endlessly. And as you know, I
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: don't use my hands, so it's chickpeas and paprika, and
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: I don't use my I use only my hands, and
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: so normally you'd air fry them, but I don't believe
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: in air friars. I think they're evil. So I would
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: put them on the counter and with my hands, I
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: whip whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip, whip whip,
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: and I whip my hands three hundred miles an hour,
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: and I flip those chickpeas into a crispy, lovely little snack.
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: And that's what my.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: Woman really still.
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: How that is she moves her hand so quickly that
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: it produces enough heat to fry a chickpea.
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: And you know what I'm just realizing.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, I know you, but I know you from those
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: unbelievably long articles you write on the internet before the recipe.
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: Yes of course. Yeah, well that's all me. Guilty as
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: charge when.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I google how to make a copraise salad and I
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: have to go through four paragraphs about just basil history.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: Yes, guilty as charged.
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: Same basil history, of course, you mean b as al
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: basil history about her like personal.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: Life basil history history.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: Yes. No companies will contract me out because you know,
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: those people who write recipes, they should be spending their
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: time writing recipes. They shouldn't have to do the narrative work.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: And I have a BA in literature, and so I
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: lend my services. Wow, that is exactly who you are.
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: What would you make last meal? The cook Housewives dying tomorrow?
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh she's gonna want a juice, but I'm not
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: gonna let her do it.
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: This happens a lot before they do red carpet stuff.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: They want to they want to eat something that just
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: makes them feel lean and just whatever. But you know
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: I always have to remind them, like what if I
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: made this salad chips? You know, just get some just
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: get them to eat. I think, I think, let me
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: think here. I think I make a mean mango salad
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: with strawberries and goat cheese, and yes, stick that, and
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: then if I was feeling it, I'd put maybe some
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: garbonzo beans in there for protein. Just a nice way
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: to go.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: It's interesting you call them garbonzo beans and I call
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: them chickpeas. Whoa. There's so many different ways to be
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: a chef.
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: I call them zubom little treats you do live what about?
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: What do you call them?
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: Call them? I call them gay nuts for my clients.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: There's so many ways to be a chef.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, he's just gotten into the homophobia with my clients.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: We won't talk about that right now, but that is maybe.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: No.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's a that's a core of it. And you, guys,
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: what do you call it? Tomato? Tomato? What do you
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: call it?
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: Catch up?
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: For me? I call it pooh pooh.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, someone's getting crazy. It's a really funny joke coming
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: from you. That is really fun.
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: That's the third time I've said it, and I won't
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: do it anymore. I call it.
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: Tomato, Okay, tomato, whatever it is, I call it peel
• 40:50
  Speaker 5: to go ahead.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: Led of course, Well I appeel that. Yes, you know,
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: I guess as as we as we wrap up and
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: as we we probably all have to get back into
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: the kitchen. I do have a question, and you can
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: if you will, you can get.
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: You if you want.
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: He's got the he's got the epidermal chip. The what
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: the chip just beneath my first layer of skin?
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, I thought it was a chip. I thought you
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: had a potato chip under your skin. That would be hurtful.
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no.
• 41:22
  Speaker 5: If I walk outside of the boundary, my legs will
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: freeze up like I'm a shopping cart and.
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: Drags me shop.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: That's so troubling, so troubling. And a bunch of women
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: that need chifts.
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: If you need to come women, I would rather tee. No,
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: I would rather die.
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: All right, don't come with me. Then go back to
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: your compound. You question, I was talking. Oh yes, I
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: was talking. I was talking. And more than that, I'm living,
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm living, I'm laughing,
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: I'm loving. Okay, you here's my question, final question. You
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: walk into a sirlotop and you're the king of sir,
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: latop for a day?
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: Hey, what, ma'am? This is a terrible question. Are the king?
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: I'm the king of Sir Latop for a day for
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: a day? What do you do? All right, we'll find it.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: But do you guys, have I hear your final question?
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: I have a question. I have a question? Go ahead,
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: no hear you? Ask yours?
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: And then why don't we each ask a question and
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: we'll answer our own. Well, we'll audition out the final questions.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: What's your question?
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: Describe your perfect dinner?
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: Nice? What's yours?
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: My question is if you were a dish, what would
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: you be?
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: I would be the chips?
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: Okay, So let's go through all.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Of them, and I'm gonna stick with the Slatov King question.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: I think I was actually onto something.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's so now answer. So now we're all gonna
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: go run and answer. We're gonna answer all of them
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: one by one with all four. So go ahead, and
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: you go with all four?
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: Okay? Can we get a reminder of the order quickly?
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: So teach my question? It's gonna be what's your favorite trip?
• 43:27
  Speaker 4: Okay, King of Sarlatov for a day for a day,
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: Describe your.
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: Perfect Describe your perfect dinner.
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: If you were a meal.
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: If you were a meal, what would you be? A
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: eavy chip?
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: Favorite chip?
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: Favorite chip? If I were king of surlatopp, I would
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: sing on the pants you sing my favorite meal. My
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: favorite meal is a meatball Who's up to no good? Yeah?
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: If I were a meal, I would be a flirty mushroom.
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: And my favorite chip is toastedo's hint of lime scoop
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: or no scoop scoop.
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: If I were the king of a solotap, yes, I would,
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: I would.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: I would.
• 44:30
  Speaker 5: I would pay for all the orphans to have school.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: That's a good thing. I'm the king good and of course, and.
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: My question was describe a perfect dinner, and that's very easy.
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: It opens with a palate cleansing soup. The second course
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: is also a palate cleansing soup, and then the entree
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: is a palate cleansing soup. And then for dessert, peach
• 44:55
  Speaker 5: pie eaten off of the thousand pounds Sisters.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: Hard Hard writern like sushi and Samantha.
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: If I was a dinner, I would be I would
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: be a Marie Calendar's soloin steak that's sad and rank
• 45:17
  Speaker 5: rank the chips free.
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: Your favorite freedom. That's good for me, all right.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: If I was king of Sarlatop for day, I would
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: just demolished the monarchy because it.
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: Doesn't make any sense to me to have a king
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: in that store. That's a capitalist organization and I subscribed
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: to it.
• 45:35
  Speaker 5: Okay, is it a store.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: It's a store, King of Sterlotop at the Glendale Gallery
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: at mary Conna.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: To the top. That's Oh what did you think?
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: I actually didn't know what the word meant.
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: I didn't. I thought it would sound quite like a country. Yes,
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: williamsmo to me, it's a country. Okay.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, I would just I would demolish the monarchy
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: people for all If my my perfect meal would probably
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: be just a really nice salad and then a pizza
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: I made by hand with Jlapino's goat cheese and bacon
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: with a nice.
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: Mozzarella basse.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Mozzilla hates cheese.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, If I want to have a meal, that what's
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: my dish. Unfortunately, I think I am a very delicious
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: spice on the most stereotypical wing you've ever seen, and uh.
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: Favorite chip I'm gonna go with.
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: Uh, let's go with the freaking motherfucking fucking halapino kettle chips.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: Well, don't be so angry when you say spicy. Do
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: you seem piste off? I am fucking piste off, dude.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: Ay fu kin of cla top for the day. I'm
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: googling sola top. Nice. Okay, everyone has to burn me
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: on the first question, I answered yours.
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: We are in the oven.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: It's getting a mirror. Oh, what's the second question? What
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: do I what's my last meals?
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: My perfect dinner? My perfect dinner is.
• 47:13
  Speaker 5: A just receeting position.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: My perfect dinner is a nice you almost got it.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: It's a New York cot dog, Yes, New York cock
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: doog and a hot dog and a bag of cashews.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: What's your question?
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: What meal would you be?
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: I'd be a New York cut dog and a bag
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: of cashews and my chip.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: I'd have to go with tortilla chips.
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: No salsa, all right, no brand?
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: Huh.
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: Well, I'll see you guys at the mixer. This was
• 47:47
  Speaker 4: really fun. Can't mixers in Dubai this year?
• 47:50
  Speaker 8: Right?
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: Mixers in Dubai. I'm so excited. I've bought a million
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: different kinds of lead. I'm gonna cook them and we're
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: gonna eat them and it's gonna be spectacular.
• 48:04
  Speaker 5: What are you guys wearing whatever? Whatever?
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: I'm told your turn, probably wearing a black T shirt,
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: sleeves cut off.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: What am I gonna wear it to the mixer and do?
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: By this year, I'll probably wear I'll probably wear something
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: of something of Luan's, Countess Luann, whatever she has in
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: her closet.
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: And I'd like to change my answer. Yeah, a clean tunic.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, Hey, cheers to a clean tunic. Cheers clean tunic.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Cheers guys, Cheers guys, and uh, bone appetite. Oh you
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: hate me? When you said that, I said bone appetite,
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: and you guys hate me.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: This has been artists on artists on artists on artists,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: answering the question. Now, that's why they call it show business.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Good Night, Hollywood.
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: Artists on artists on artists on artist.
• 49:00
  Speaker 8: This is an improvised Hollywood round Table podcast created and
• 49:02
  Speaker 8: performed and produced by Kylie Bradman, Jeremy Colhayne, Angela Jeratana,
• 49:06
  Speaker 8: and Patrick McDonald.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: Music is by Gabriel Ponton.
• 49:09
  Speaker 8: The opinions expressed on this podcast do not reflect the
• 49:12
  Speaker 8: opinions of anyone who works on it, not even the performers,
• 49:15
  Speaker 8: because this is an improvised podcast and for stupid. Full
• 49:17
  Speaker 8: video versions of AOAOAOA are available on YouTube, so please
• 49:21
  Speaker 8: like and subscribe and leave us a five star review
• 49:24
  Speaker 8: wherever you get your podcasts.
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: Good night, Hollywood,