Latest / Pod Save America / PSA Presents: The 2023 Pundies

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PSA Presents: The 2023 Pundies · Pod Save America

• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Pod Save America. I'm Jon Favreau. I'm Jon Lovett.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I'm Dan Pfeiffer.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Tommy Vitor.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: The gang is all here.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Look at us.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: It's time for our year-end tradition, the Pundies. Where we
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: relive the year's hottest takes and get angry all over again. Plus,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we set our New Year's resolutions and see how well
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: we kept last year's. I truly don't remember.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy I'm not on tape for that. Yeah, well. Suckas.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Let's start with the pundies. And here to present this
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: year's nominees in six exciting categories, Pod Save America writer
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Hallie Kiefer.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: Hello, gentlemen. How are you feeling?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Festive. So festive.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Good, because we're here today with the actual start of
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: the awards season. Yes, I said it. The SAG Awards,
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: more like the Hag Awards. Gold Globes, more like this
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: shit blows. The Oscars, the Oscars get burned in hell.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: All of which is to say, it is an honor
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: and a pleasure to join you in handing out these,
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: the most coveted award in Hollyweird, the Pundies. I'd like
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: to apologize last year for when I opened the wrong
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: envelope and gave Best Picture to La La Land. That
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: was all on me. That wasn't even a category, and
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: the envelope was my cable bill. Anyways, Best Picture goes
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: to Moonlight, and Best Punditry goes to the winner of
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: this year's categories. Let us begin our first category, Worst
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: Beltway Brain. Cutting. From misguided predictions to baffling analyses, Beltway
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Media was full of memorable missteps that sparked debates and
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: raised eyebrows. and perhaps even shaped the discourse, a word
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: that makes me want to turn my back on the
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: English language. Here are the moments that made us cringe, chuckle,
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: and really contemplate the world around us. All right, first up,
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: you know how money rules every facet of American politics
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: and rich people basically get their way 100% of the time?
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Cream, yes.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Have you ever taken the time to truly ponder whether
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: that's a good or bad thing? Obviously not, you fools. Luckily,
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: Washington Post columnist Dan, I'm going to say Balls?
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Balls is correct.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: Well, there you have it.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: How else would you pronounce it?
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I was hoping there was another option.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: My eyes hit and I thought there's got to be
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: something else. Luckily, he addressed that very thing in an
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: article titled, The Mega Rich Are the New Political Bosses.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: Is that bad for democracy? The demise of political party
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: bosses and the smoke-filled rooms in which they operated was
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: heralded a long time ago as an important step towards
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: handing more power over the section of presidential nominees to
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: ordinary citizens. Who would have thought then that billionaires would
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: seek to become the new bosses of American politics? Had
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: you guys thought about that? Have you guys thought about
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: that for a second?
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: I guess you're making a good point.
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: I think historically speaking, billionaires have often sought to be
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: the bosses of politics.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: And a lot of other things.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: I hadn't thought of it.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Is this my only and one chance to defend Dan Balls?
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Do it.
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: At least in this game.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Okay, perfect. Dan Balls, best political reporter of his generation.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Nicest guy on the planet.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: Funny his name.
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Great name. Great name. Great name.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: I think he was poorly served by his headline writer here.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: So many reporters on there. So many.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: He is a man from a generation that predates clickbait
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: headlines for the Washington Post. And so we're going to talk,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: there are going to be a lot of bad people
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: who are terrible, who know nothing about politics in this segment.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Dan Balls is not one of those people.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's some Elijah working at the Washington Post that
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: made Dan Balls have an SEO clickbaity headline.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: We are all Dan Balls to Elijah's Washington Post.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: And SEO-nerism.
• 3:43
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: And today we celebrate those Elijahs.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Up next.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: You slap an apostrophe on that name too? It's even funnier.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: In the possessive. Something that he may have owned.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: Do you ever wonder if Dan Balls and Dan Zak
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: did a co-byline?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: Like a Balzac.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Double.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: Something for 2024, gentlemen. Up next this year, Bidenomics could
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: have really swayed public opinion if we just took the
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: time to rebrand. Take out the Biden, replace it with Beyonce, Barbie,
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: or even Taylor Swift. Now we're talking. That's right. We're
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: talking about XCO's article, Bay, Barbie, and Swift saved the economy.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: Just read a quote. The blowout success of Taylor Swift's
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Heiress Tour, combined with the record box office juice of
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: the Barbie movie, is helping to buoy the economy and
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: prevent a recession. Thanks, Barbie, for saving the economy and
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: also letting me chew on your shoes as a kid.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: Just me? On to the next.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: I would swap their heads with Ken. My sister would
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: get very mad.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: You were ahead of the time, though. You were thinking ahead.
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: That's avant-garde. Arthur Dominique. John, John, Tommy, congratulations. how save
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: america has finally influenced a bad beltway take finally give
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: yourself a pat on the back as you delve into
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: the playbooks read of obama saying nobody's hands are clean
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: while talking about violence in gaza during a recent psa
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: interview in an article playbook titles nobody's hands are clean
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: really thinking there guys and under their coveted why this
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: matters section they wrote an embrace of a two-state solution
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: recognizing a free palestinian state based on 1967 Borders, which,
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: by the way, was also George W. Bush's position, though
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: now it seems like almost a pipe dream for the
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Palestinian cause. But on the other hand, Obama's remarks were
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: a jaw dropper for about a million reasons. And finally,
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: our fourth option. Would I want good quality dating advice?
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: But I don't. The first place I go is my
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: friends or my family or even that one couple who's
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: still going strong with their pandemic relationship. No, it's the
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: Washington Post again. whose editorial appears to have realized just
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: how badly our toxic politics is upsetting the domestic sphere. This,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: of course, is the headline. If attitudes don't shift, a
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: political dating mismatch will threaten marriage. And finally, to read
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: a quote, the problem with polarization, though, is that it
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: has effects well beyond the political realm, and that can
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: be difficult to anticipate. What example is a collapse of
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: American marriage? That's tough stuff.
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: So I just want to add a little something, because
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: I do think The Politico playbook conversation about Barack Obama's
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: comments on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict included the line about his
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: nobody's hands are clean comment. They may even be quickly
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: lumped into those notorious evocative phrases politicians used in moments
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: of passion, such as Bush's notorious mission accomplished. So Obama's saying, hey,
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: you know what? We all made mistakes. We're all culpable
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: for this horrifying situation we see overseas. Let's not just
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: point fingers at each other. Let's work together to try
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: to solve something. It's the same as hanging... a banner
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: on a fucking aircraft carrier a month into a war
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: that went on for, what, another decade?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: That is not only the worst take in that category.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Lifetime Achievement Award. For Playbook, which has had some real
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: doozies over the years.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Real humdingers.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Even though I read it every morning, and oftentimes it's
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: very good. That is maybe one of the top five
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: worst Playbook takes of all time.
• 7:05
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Well, it's already not lived. The take is already.
• 7:09
  Speaker 7: it's already a brown banana because it has not captured
• 7:12
  Speaker 7: the amount, you know, it's like, we're not, it's not,
• 7:14
  Speaker 7: it isn't mission impossible, mission impossible. It isn't mission accomplished.
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: Like we're not, it didn't carry that meaning. It just
• 7:20
  Speaker 7: was a, a kind of subtle and nuanced and well-made
• 7:23
  Speaker 7: point that, uh, that through that, through that phrase captured
• 7:26
  Speaker 7: people's attention.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: And then one of the, one of the many reasons
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: it wasn't like mission accomplished is because, uh, he wasn't
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: president when he said it.
• 7:33
  Speaker 7: Right.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: So of course it didn't, matter beyond that.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I thought the foundation's decision to put it on a
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: banner behind us was a mistake, but other than that.
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: I also had multiple Politico reporters that I was talking
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: to say, yeah, that was absolutely terrible.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: It's a rare win.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Tommy dishes the tea.
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: Get him, Tommy.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Original reporter.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Dylan Byers in the house.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: I'm getting booed? No, you're getting cheered.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: I'm getting booed.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: I was saying booed.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Booes and boos can sound pretty similar.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: But they're different.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: But they're different.
• 8:06
  Speaker 7: A lot of things sound similar but are different.
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: Remember when the Bruins had a goalie named Andy Moog
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: and everyone should say moo and it sounded like boo?
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: You remember that one. Lived up the street for me.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Do I remember a Bruins goalie?
• 8:20
  Speaker 7: A Bruin.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Well, next category, it seems like we're... Wait, don't wait.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: We're calling out the winners.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: Well, I want to say, unless it's... Do we want
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: to read them again, or are you guys.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: No, no, no.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: It's playbook. Also, there's a lot of evidence that Barbie
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: and Taylor Swift and Beyonce did have a big influence
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: on the economy.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: It was a great take.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: And then the dating thing was just sort of funny
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: and silly. I think that.
• 8:41
  Speaker 7: I did not enjoy the take of the dating article,
• 8:44
  Speaker 7: because it's a little bit like.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: You know, every once.
• 8:46
  Speaker 7: In a while, the New York Times will do a
• 8:47
  Speaker 7: story about how, like.
• 8:50
  Speaker 7: Somebody, a progressive will win like a small town mayorship.
• 8:53
  Speaker 7: And then some MAGA people will like, you know, throw
• 8:55
  Speaker 7: rocks at their house. And then the headline of the
• 8:57
  Speaker 7: article will be like a nation divided. Can it come together?
• 8:59
  Speaker 7: I got that article is a little bit like that.
• 9:03
  Speaker 7: Cause it's like, Hey, a group of men have made
• 9:06
  Speaker 7: themselves undateable freaks.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Will marriage survive?
• 9:09
  Speaker 7: Probably not for them, but for the rest of us.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: Bad news, gentlemen.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Great.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: So it sounds like it is a universal playbook. Congratulations.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: You've won the Pundi for the Worst Beltway Brain Award
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: this year. You stink. Next category, Dumbest Conservative Outrage. We've
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: got some good ones.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I'm excited for this.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: 2023 was quite a year.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: What a statement for the outrage machines in right-wing media.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Trump's multiple indictments led to multiple continued calls for civil war.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: Fox News settled with Dominion over a $ 700 million deal
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: for lying about the 2020 election. Rupert Murdoch lived out
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: a succession dream and handed his son Lachlan the keys
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: to his media empire. And lest we forget, let's take
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: a moment of silence for Tucker Carlson's acrimonious exit from
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: Fox News to X. What a fool. Now, presenting the
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: nominees for Pundi for Dumbest Conservative Media Outrage. Remember just
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: a little over a month ago when Trump very casually,
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: very chill, started referring to human beings as vermin?
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I do remember.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: Including us, specifically us and everyone listening. Vermin, just vermin
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: all the way down. The vermin line prompted an entire
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: media cycle saying that Trump was chanting the spirit and
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: tenor of a well-known historical figure, as Reid put it
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: in his document, Adolf Hitler. Remember him, gentlemen? Those Hitler
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: comparisons then prompted an entire counter-news cycle about the right
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: denying Trump's word recalled the Nazi leader of one of
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: the best, of course, being Newsmax's Greg Kelly. And let's
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: take a listen. We have a clip.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Now, they say that Donald Trump is like Hitler. He's
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: using the same words that Hitler used. Well, Hitler used
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: the word chair. OK, I sit in a chair. That
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: doesn't make me right, you see. But they don't stop,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: do they?
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Is this a problem?
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: I guess it is.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: So good. Hitler used conjunctions.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: The?
• 11:08
  Speaker 7: Just a dumb fucking. Just think of the people that
• 11:12
  Speaker 7: worked on.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: What a good point. What a good point.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: I like that you could even hear him go, uh,
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: like in the middle of it.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: He's like, I don't.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: Just about to bail, but he can't. Up next, almost
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: nothing riles the right like reproductive freedom, but as abortion
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: has become an Achilles heel for Republicans in elections, right-wing
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: pundits have started to get creative with the ways they
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: argue that abortion shouldn't be banned because they're liars, of course.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: Here's Fox's Greg Gutfeld making the, I guess, transcendent case
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: against abortion.
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: Abortion is based on a fear that is greater than
• 11:46
  Speaker 8: the actual reality. And if you don't believe me, talk
• 11:50
  Speaker 8: to somebody who had a baby and then think about
• 11:53
  Speaker 8: how they were before they had the baby. That's called
• 11:55
  Speaker 8: a transformational change, right? It's the best anti-abortion argument out
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: there and no one is making it.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: People do have their reasons for abortions.
• 12:04
  Speaker 8: But underneath all that is a fear of this transformational change.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: What? Jesus Christ.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I don't, I just, I don't understand the take.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: I think the idea is that if you scream at
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: a woman and say, you'll be happy after you have
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: a baby, then you're like, I guess I'll put aside
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: all the other considerations.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: Greg Gutfeld wants me to do it. You don't know
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: what's good for you. Exactly.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: You're going to be so psyched once you.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Have a baby.
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: You might have a life-threatening complication with your pregnancy and
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: could die, but you might be psyched.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: But if you let Greg Gutfeld into your hospital room
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: to scream at you, maybe.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: You'll be good. Put on the five.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: Up next, we hear the pundies. We don't want to
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: just celebrate mainstream right-wing media outlets like Fox or Newsmax. No,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: we know there is a great big cesspool of far-right
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: commentators swimming in the vast ocean of the Internet that
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: are well worth being made fun of. And that ocean,
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: of course, is a toilet. One such reliable candidate is
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: white supremacist and, of course, Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes, most
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: well-known to the listener worldwide. For that infamous dinner between Fuentes,
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: Kanye West, and Donald Trump, the once and future president,
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: if we don't do something about it, people!
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Not since Jefferson dined alone.
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: Here's what Fuentes had to say about, of course, a
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: topic that we all want to hear weigh in on,
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: the birds and the bees.
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: You should not seek sex, because if you seek sex,
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: you will become gay, because sex is a gay act.
• 13:28
  Speaker 6: The straightest thing you could do is to never have sex.
• 13:31
  Speaker 6: That's And everyone knows that's true.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Want to know why?
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: Because you retain your semen and you sublimate your sexual
• 13:39
  Speaker 6: desire to creating things. That's why celibacy is the straightest thing.
• 13:44
  Speaker 6: Because who are the celibates?
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: Monks?
• 13:48
  Speaker 9: Priests?
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Soldiers?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Not a good track record.
• 13:52
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: Famously straight. What the? That was wild.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I had never heard that.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I want to hear the remaining contenders, but I kind
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: of know what's.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Going to happen here.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: Finally, here in California, we love overpriced smoothies, wearing shorts
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: year round.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: I'm talking to you. And of course, a great workout,
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: especially yoga. But Candace Owens has her own ideas about
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: a different kind of yoga that we all should be doing.
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: Let's hear a clip.
• 14:18
  Speaker 9: So let me tell you why I like conspiracy theories.
• 14:21
  Speaker 9: I like conspiracy theories because I view them as mind yoga.
• 14:25
  Speaker 9: very important to bend your mind like a pretzel sometimes
• 14:28
  Speaker 9: to make sure that you actually have a mind.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying?
• 14:31
  Speaker 9: I actually do believe that if you don't use it,
• 14:34
  Speaker 9: you lose it. You know, when it comes to conspiracy theories,
• 14:36
  Speaker 9: I always say this. I say that I find the
• 14:39
  Speaker 9: people that don't believe in any conspiracy theories to be
• 14:42
  Speaker 9: out of their minds.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: They're out of their minds.
• 14:44
  Speaker 9: They're absolutely crazy.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: That's a tough one too.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: What was the first one again?
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm happy to recap. We of course have Newsmax's
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: Greg Kelly. Hitler also said chair.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: We have Greg Gutfeld. The transformational change of forcing women
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: to have children. All sex is gay. Really, at all times,
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: if you ask me. And, of course, conspiracies are mind yoga. Actually,
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: if you don't believe in conspiracy theories... You're crazy.
• 15:11
  Speaker 7: I will say, for that last point, I do think everybody,
• 15:15
  Speaker 7: I do think you gotta have one.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: You gotta have one. What's yours?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: You gotta have fucking one.
• 15:20
  Speaker 7: You gotta have one that you believe. I, for one,
• 15:22
  Speaker 7: personally believe that Fidel Castro is the father of Justin Trudeau.
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we do know that.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: We all need one.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: That is yours?
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: I do.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: The timeline's The timelines add up. This is another episode
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: if you want to go.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Check it out.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, we did this once, didn't we? Yeah, we did.
• 15:38
  Speaker 7: Anyway, I'm sure there are votes for Fuentes, but I
• 15:41
  Speaker 7: personally think the Gutfeld take is the more kind of fulsome, terrible.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I think I'm with you.
• 15:46
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I just think this idea that like a guy
• 15:50
  Speaker 7: hosting a fucking low rent Fallon for conservatives telling women
• 15:55
  Speaker 7: that they don't understand what's good for them. is the
• 15:59
  Speaker 7: story of America in 2023. Some truth to that.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: I do think the Fuentes thing is instructive in a
• 16:06
  Speaker 5: similar way, and just a reminder that a lot of
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: the worst people in politics in the United States and
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: all over the country are just sad, pathetic men who
• 16:14
  Speaker 5: can't get girls to talk to them, and it leads
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: them to this place where you're an actual Nazi.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Just very confused and untouched.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Incel culture. Incel.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: Well, on that note, congratulations, Greg Gutfeld, for winning the
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: Pundy for Dumbest Conservative Outrage. Category three, the Jesse Waters
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: Bonus Award, or As I'm calling the Jesse Waters Golden
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: Hairline Award, 2023 wasn't just a big year for Trump indictments.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: It was also a big year for Jesse Waters, a.k.a.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: Diet Tucker Carlson, who took over Fox's primetime slot, and
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: he came out swinging. Just, of course, like the January
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: 6th protesters had planned for Mike Pence. Producers, let's roll
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: that beautiful bean footage up front. We have the holidays
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: are a time for giving gifts, spreading love and joy,
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: and if you're Jesse Waters, being aggressively upset about looting.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Let's play the clip.
• 17:18
  Speaker 10: Allowing Americans to loot, allowing Americans to shoplift up to $ 900,
• 17:23
  Speaker 10: not prosecuting street-level theft. Is this the establishment's way of
• 17:28
  Speaker 10: paying reparations without admitting it?
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: Jesus.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: Off to a great start.
• 17:34
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: Up next we have, speaking of the holidays, Jesse Waters
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: has thoughts about the Nutcracker and Santa Claus. Of course
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: he does. Let's play the clip.
• 17:43
  Speaker 10: Gay Nutcracker. Complete with a rainbow hat, a trans flag.
• 17:48
  Speaker 10: Full price, $ 12, but right now it's on sale.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: For $ 8. I, of course, have two of them here
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: with me.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: So that's the gay nutcracker. But do we have the...
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: The other one, I think, is.
• 17:58
  Speaker 9: Oh, no.
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: Are we going to play the Santa one?
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: No, but there is... They also have come out against
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: black Santa in a wheelchair.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: So one of the.
• 18:08
  Speaker 7: So as part of the War on Christmas, Target, and
• 18:10
  Speaker 7: this is part of that clip, is that they're selling
• 18:13
  Speaker 7: a Santa who is black and uses a wheelchair.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: And that is being.
• 18:18
  Speaker 7: That is part of their war on Christmas coverage. But
• 18:20
  Speaker 7: of course, it's not anti-Christmas.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Because it is Santa. It's just anti-wheelchair.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: Well, but Megyn Kelly famously told us that Santa is white.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: So it's a war on Christmas because you're changing with
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: your Santa eyes.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right. Just, okay. Sorry, pal.
• 18:37
  Speaker 7: I get it.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Anyway, reparations is still in the lead for me. I
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: don't know if we have another.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: No.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: Up next, again, in July, the world was eagerly awaiting
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: the start of the Women's World Cup, and Jessie Waters
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: unfortunately was too.
• 18:49
  Speaker 10: Some people have told me that I have actually done
• 18:52
  Speaker 10: more for women's sports than Megan Rapinoe has done, that
• 18:56
  Speaker 10: maybe she's a traitor in the war on women, and
• 18:59
  Speaker 10: I have fought valiantly in that war, obviously on the
• 19:02
  Speaker 10: women's side. That's not me saying that, and I actually
• 19:04
  Speaker 10: disagree with that. I'm just saying it's something that's being said.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: That's funny.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but that was funny.
• 19:11
  Speaker 7: That is funny.
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: He's not saying it. He also does disagree with it.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: Just a quick.
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: Reminder that Jesse Waters flattened his now wife's tires so
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: that he could do a damsel in distress thing and
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: give her a ride home.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, I forgot about that. She was an intern at
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: the time. Yeah. What a good guy.
• 19:28
  Speaker 7: He let the air out of her tires. He told
• 19:29
  Speaker 7: this story on television. He told this story on television.
• 19:31
  Speaker 7: They were like, but it's okay because we're married now.
• 19:33
  Speaker 7: And everyone was like, is it?
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: You're a serial killer.
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: And finally, Jesse isn't just an advocate for women's sports.
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: He's also a paragon of masculinity with a lot of
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: thoughts about how men should drink liquids. Let's hear that clip.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Joe Biden used a straw.
• 19:50
  Speaker 10: Now, if you've seen me on The Five or on
• 19:52
  Speaker 10: Prime Time, you know I recommend that all men refrain
• 19:55
  Speaker 10: from using straws. It's unbecoming. The way a man's lips purse,
• 20:00
  Speaker 10: the size of the straw is just too dainty, the
• 20:03
  Speaker 10: way your fingers clasp on it.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: No, come on.
• 20:06
  Speaker 10: Straws are for women and little kids.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: Straws are just baby dicks. No?
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: When you think about it.
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: He said they're too dainty if he had a big
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: fat straw. It sounds like he'd be more okay with it.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Like a PVC pipe. Some real circumference on that straw.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing.
• 20:24
  Speaker 7: Here's the thing that's very frustrating to me about this.
• 20:26
  Speaker 7: It can't be that the woke liberals are taking away
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: our straws. And straws are just for fags and kids.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: It can't be that.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: You have to just pick one.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Good point.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Well, she didn't play the second part of the clip
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: where he said the only thing gayer than a plastic
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: straw is a paper straw.
• 20:41
  Speaker 9: Oh, he did?
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: No, no. That's just true.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, that is pretty.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: Here's the thing.
• 20:46
  Speaker 7: I just think it may not come up in the polling,
• 20:48
  Speaker 7: but just underneath... some of Biden's challenges related to age
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: are every time you're handed a paper straw, a little
• 20:54
  Speaker 7: part of you is like, I could vote for Trump. Like,
• 20:58
  Speaker 7: I don't know if it'll stop this, but it couldn't hurt.
• 21:01
  Speaker 7: Or they don't give you a straw at all.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: How am I supposed to drink this thing? In Los Angeles,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: you have to ask for the straw.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I think it's a city ordinance, right?
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is a city ordinance.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: You bet it is.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Welcome to LA. Yeah, thanks, Garcetti. Where are you now?
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: Is he in Mumbai or not? He's taking all their
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: straws away. He took away our straws. One-way ticket to
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: fucking Mumbai. Adios, man.
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: Get out of here.
• 21:25
  Speaker 7: Every time I go to Starbucks, I got to ask
• 21:26
  Speaker 7: for a straw. My dentist told me to.
• 21:29
  Speaker 5: It's like when Shane Gillis says learning too much about
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: World War II is early onset Republicanism.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: It's a very similar vibe.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: So, gentlemen, just to recap, we have is looting reparations.
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: Gay nutcracker.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Bad.
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: Some people have told me I have actually done more
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: for women's sports than Megan Rapinoe. And, of course, Biden
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: using a straw.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: It's worth it.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: A little gay. Which of these should win the illustrious
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: Jesse Waters bonus award?
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: For me, it's reparations by a mile. It's not often
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: you just get pure, uncut racism like that. If that
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: was said at a group dinner, jaws would drop.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Right. Shocked people would leave.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: There's no debate over that one. It's just right there.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Just a racist comment.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: Well, congratulations, Jesse Waters.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Congrats, Jesse.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: You stink.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: You suck.
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: Category four, worst take. By a pod-safe American host. That's
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: you guys.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I think I know what mine is this year. Oh, God.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: You guys aren't in the prediction business. Again, read.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: Which is funny because you made a lot of predictions
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: this year. Okay, here are the nominees for worst take
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: by a pod-safe American host. And P.U. Did you guys
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: have some duds? This year was filled with Republican Speaker
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: chaos after they booted out McCarthy and couldn't coalesce around
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: a new leader. Dan waited, tweeting... One, I'm skeptical Mike
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: Johnson is a real person. Two, it's so damn funny
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: these members think that a guy who lost to the
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: guy who couldn't get 217 votes is the one who
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: can get 217 votes. Of course, Mike Johnson was elected
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: speaker immediately after that tweet.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: You have blown it, Daniel. Up next, unfortunately, and I
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: did not order these, unfortunately, Dan is also next. Dan
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: was on a prediction streak this year. Senator Tommy Tuberville
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: pulled a great big stinky stunt this year, holding up
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: all the military promotions and protests of military reproductive health
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: care policies. Dan predicted in July that Tuberville would quickly
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: fold on his military promotions hold up, but Tuberville held
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: strong for most of the year. Dan was only off
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: by five months.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: I was using the long span of history.
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: The long arc of justice.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Dan taken down for having too much faith in Tommy.
• 23:43
  Speaker 7: It was short for a Baobab treat.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: Up next, while Lovett got a lot of heat for
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: supporting Tim Scott... Our very own Jon Favreau made an
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: even bolder prediction back in June.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: What?
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know what this is.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: Vivek Ramaswamy would beat at least Ron DeSantis.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I didn't say that.
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: Obviously, Vivek's star has since fallen rapidly.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, the votes have not been cast yet.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: I was going to say.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: There's still plenty of time.
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Remains to be seen.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: I think it's just so he could smile. And you're like, well,
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: one of them could smile. It's going to be that one.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: But then when he opens his mouth, it's all bad.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: And finally, Lovett spent all summer focused on the issues
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: that matter. The Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial. On the day
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: Trump was indicted, he tweeted, Trump indicted Gwyneth innocent. God
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: bless this country. And I'm saying this now. Gwyneth did
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: hit that man. I believe it. I am a Gwyneth tweaker.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: She absolutely hit that man.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: That's ridiculous.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: I'm not saying anything else is true about what he said.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: I'm saying if she did do it. If she did it.
• 24:40
  Speaker 7: That's my bad take. I've had so many worse takes
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: than that. Gwyneth was innocent.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: In a court of law.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Can you just convey a worse love at take than that?
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, all of a sudden we believe in the court system.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I didn't pick these up. I think we're going to
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: have to pretty soon.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, shit.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: Much like how Warren Beatty didn't write all the envelopes,
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: I am simply hosting the pundies. I was given this
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: and I am hosting. Gentlemen, who's taking home the award
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: for worst take?
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: We don't have a Tommy take?
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: We have an entire Tommy round. It's a surprise.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: That's so tough.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: You should have let me say something obnoxious first to
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: set myself up.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: It was so close.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: It was on the tip of his tongue.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: I will nominate myself for Mike Johnson.
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: That's fun.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: And the lesson, which may, I may.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: He cares too much.
• 25:28
  Speaker 7: I may.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Just fucking fag.
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: So, gentlemen, who is taking home the award for worst
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: take by a Pod Save America host sans Tommy round?
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's definitely Pfeiffer.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: I do think that was tough.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: That was tough.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I mean, we'll see what the Vivek thing.
• 25:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly.
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: Plenty of time.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Also, you have two takes from me that are clearly wrong.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: One from John that is likely wrong, but not yet wrong.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: So we can hang on to that. And then one.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Where you're just disavowing the American justice system? That's true.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Would you say mental yoga right now?
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: I believe very much in mental yoga. And actually, if
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: you don't, you're the one who's.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: Crazy, Dan.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: Anyways, category five up next. Now you might all be wondering.
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: Not a single bad take from Tommy all year. And
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: that's true, he was on an absolute heater. John, John,
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: and Dan, you could learn a thing about discipline and
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: consistency from Tommy. Strong arms, winning smile. If anyone were
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: to run, well, it'd be a no-brainer, but not so fast.
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: We did find a lot of bizarre nonsense on Tommy's Twitter,
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: inspiring a new category called What Was Tommy Up To?
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Here are your nominees for the What Was Tommy Up To?
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: Award.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: First tweet, at Gavin Newsom, off to a great start.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: Put politics aside and name Ben Shapiro your emergency flood coordinator.
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: He'll have this place bone dry.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: In no time.
• 26:51
  Speaker 9: That's good.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: That's a good joke. You guys don't know what that's referencing?
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: That's just funny. That's a good joke.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: That's just a good take.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: Up next, being over 40 means you will never understand
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: why everyone is tweeting Kevin James photos. That's okay. This
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: is my Twitter serenity prayer.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: That meme made no sense. I still don't understand it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Kevin James everywhere.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Even the people tweeting Kevin James didn't know why they
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: were tweeting Kevin James.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: I know you mean it. I don't know either.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Look at her.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: Does anyone know here?
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but I do know. Can you explain it?
• 27:18
  Speaker 7: Well, it's because he's making a real funny face. And
• 27:22
  Speaker 7: it's like, what if he's the DJ? What if he's
• 27:24
  Speaker 7: the DJ? The idea is, who put that terrible song on?
• 27:27
  Speaker 7: And then you cut to Kevin James being like, oops,
• 27:29
  Speaker 7: it was me, Kevin James. America's Sweetheart. I don't think
• 27:33
  Speaker 7: you need to overthink it.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: That's probably right.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: That's the lesson that Lovett wants to impart to all
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: of us.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Don't overthink it.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: Don't overthink it.
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: Up next, this might be the least relatable article ever written.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: You gorged on your European vacation but lost weight. I
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: also saw that. I didn't understand it.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: I think it was in the New York Times.
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: Could that possibly be true?
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: It was some bullshit about preservatives, I think. Oh, yeah.
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: Our food's bad. I think it was the hit point.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: It was insufferable.
• 27:59
  Speaker 7: Oh, the idea that you can go to Europe, gorge
• 28:03
  Speaker 7: for a week, and not gain weight because in America
• 28:06
  Speaker 7: we have xantham gum in our fucking food?
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the argument.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: What a bunch of fucking horseshit.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: Does that ever happen?
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: I think that might be my one conspiracy theory.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: It's because you walked through.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: The cities the whole time.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's your cerebral cortex cacao over there?
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: I feel like working out. The downward dog up in
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: here thinking about all that bread. And finally... Just got
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: a phone burner auto-generated email message that started, Happy New
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: Year to you and your family. Get your shit together, people.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: It's September. And no, I will never take the call. Gentlemen,
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: which Tommy tweet should walk home in their carry-oobahs with
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: the coveted What's Tommy Up To award?
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I think the last one, maybe.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:48
  Speaker 7: I think.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: Is the award for... What is... Yeah, they've all got
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: a real, like, Dan, to answer your question. Over 40,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I'm on the line.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: The first one's the funniest.
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: A lot of like rare, where's my Schnippers deli kind of.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: Ooh, I haven't thought about Schnippers in a while.
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: That is referencing a infamous but famous also, John Podhoret's
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: tweet where he yelled.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: At a hamburger place and he drove himself off Twitter.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: And then came back and then went off again.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: I think the broader point here is in the year
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: in which many Americans took Twitter off their phone, Tweeted less?
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: Tommy leaned in.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: He really leaned in.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: He did, didn't I? Sheryl Sandberg, that shit.
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: So again, tweeting at Gavin Newsom about Ben Shapiro's WAP opinions.
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: Saying that he's too old to understand the Kevin James
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: meme that Lovett then tried to explain. and boy, that
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: was a tough walk. And then European bread makes you thin.
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: And of course, finally, just yelling at an auto-generated email
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: message he received.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: There's some holes in this.
• 29:52
  Speaker 7: That's pretty yelling at the, that's a pretty, that's yelling
• 29:54
  Speaker 7: at class.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: I think the auto-generated message. That's the one that embarrasses me.
• 29:59
  Speaker 7: That's one step away from being like, Southwest, you technically
• 30:01
  Speaker 7: didn't board the B group in order.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Postmates, stop with the robots.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: I hate the robots. I do too.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: Tommy, great job.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: Keep them coming. And finally, this is the last category.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: And we've had a lot of fun. I could go
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: all day, you know. And finally, it's the moment you've
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: all been waiting for. Takes come and go, but only
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: one will be remembered as 2023's take of the year. Gentlemen,
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: I'm shaking with anticipation and also thinking about that queer
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: nutcracker thing. These are my children. Leave them alone. Here
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: are your nominees. Ben Terrace. Terrace? Ben Terrace in the
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: Washington Post with this headline, Awkward Americans See Themself in
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: Ron DeSantis.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: That's one of the best stories of the year. That
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: is a very self-aware story.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: At least the Pulitzers are the pundies.
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: Well, let me just read a quick quote. He is,
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: of course, interviewing the Twitter clothes reviewer menswear guy.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: I love that guy.
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: And the quote is, when Guy, the menswear writer, watched
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: a video of DeSantis cycling through four different facial expressions
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: in about three seconds during a news conference, which we've
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: all seen before, he said something disturbing. What he said was, oh, God.
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: He remembers saying to himself, that's me. That's more about
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: that guy, though.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's chilling.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: But that's that man's journey. That's complicated.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: He should have got Dan's balls in the byline. Straighten
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: that story out.
• 31:23
  Speaker 7: At the very beginning, as we're recording this, there was
• 31:26
  Speaker 7: a Republican debate last night, and if you just watch
• 31:29
  Speaker 7: the first 15 seconds of the debate, when they go
• 31:33
  Speaker 7: to a wide shot and you see Ron DeSantis, his
• 31:35
  Speaker 7: hands are at his side, vibrating and touching.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: It wasn't just the first, they went back a couple
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: times during the debate, and every single time he was
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: doing it.
• 31:45
  Speaker 7: It's really, he's nervous, he's nervous, and he's trying to
• 31:49
  Speaker 7: get the energy out of his body.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: It's like, Very relatable.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: He's so awkward.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I'm still pulling for Vivek.
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: The jaw is dancing like he's been at Studio 54
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: for a couple hours.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: A lot of teeth grinding.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. A lot of teeth grinding.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Another timely reference.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: I'm not here to give News Nation advice, but they
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: were trying to make a little extra income on top
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: of the 55,000 viewers a night they get. Premium DeSantis cam.
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Five extra bucks, you get DeSantis the whole time. Never
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: leaves him.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Dan just saved the news business. I love that.
• 32:19
  Speaker 7: Five more dollars, just the feet.
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: DeSantis feet.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: Up next, we have Peter Baker in the New York
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: Times with an article titled, Trump flourishes in the glare
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: of his indictment.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I remember this story. This is one of the worst
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: stories of the year.
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: And I'm going to say, I'm assuming he needs to
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: flourish of his hand after he backhands a maintenance man
• 32:40
  Speaker 4: for not ruining his boxes of Confidential documents with pool water.
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: Here's an excerpt from the article. He has spent the
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: days since a grand jury called him a potential criminal,
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: milking the moment for all it's worth, savoring the attention
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: as no one else in modern American politics would. That's
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: not good.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Pretty good, yeah.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: Up next, we have Harry Enten on CNN in May.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: DeSantis has a chance at winning the NOM. And here's
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: an excerpt. Still, DeSantis remains by far the best hope
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: for anti-Trump forces within the GOP, and a few recent
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: historical examples indicate he has a real chance to be
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: his party's nominee. And then finally, Henry Olsen, in a
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: Washington Post op-ed, Republicans saved democracy in 2020. And an
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: excerpt from that.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: I remember that one, too. Yeah, me too.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: Former Vice President Mike Pence has received some credit for
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: his courage in resisting Trump's entreaties, but not nearly enough.
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: Same is true of Republican leaders at every level of
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: government who put country over party. A swing and a
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: miss for Henry Olsen and a missed swing for Mike Pence. Gentlemen,
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: who has earned this year's take of the year?
• 33:52
  Speaker 7: So I do think we need to say, I think
• 33:54
  Speaker 7: the Harry Enten take was just a fine look at
• 33:57
  Speaker 7: the data. It was just trying to find an argument.
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: I think that this is, and the Ben Terror story
• 34:03
  Speaker 7: I thought was good.
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: It's just a great piece.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: So I think this is.
• 34:05
  Speaker 7: Very clearly between The Republicans saved the Republic and the
• 34:08
  Speaker 7: Peter Baker Trump flourishes under indictment. I think those are
• 34:11
  Speaker 7: the two, the alpha and omega of this category.
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: Because we're basically in the take purge zone, which means
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: any take I make right now isn't eligible for next
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: year's take at funding of the year.
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: Very smart, Dan.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: So the take I'm going to offer is Harry Enten
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: right then. Still correct right now.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Damn, Daniel.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: All right. What?
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: What does that mean?
• 34:35
  Speaker 7: I think it's a current Kevin James meme, but damn Daniel.
• 34:39
  Speaker 7: Tommy's like, what if my vine isn't working? Is anyone
• 34:42
  Speaker 7: else having problems getting their new vine? Ben Terrace famously
• 34:47
  Speaker 7: smoked out Tim Scott's girlfriend, too.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: He did.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: And wrote that amazing piece on the Conway marriage where
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: they let him into his house. Oh, my God.
• 34:55
  Speaker 7: I was, by the way, so confused. I was like,
• 34:57
  Speaker 7: Ben Terrace smoked weed with Tim Sadat's girlfriend?
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Now I'd read that. Now I'd read that article.
• 35:02
  Speaker 7: So I do want to, like, there is something about, like,
• 35:04
  Speaker 7: there is a kind of, like, handshake between the Peter Baker,
• 35:09
  Speaker 7: Trump flourishes under indictment stories, and the Trump is a
• 35:12
  Speaker 7: dictator standing astride history because indictments can't stop him and
• 35:16
  Speaker 7: normal politics can't stop him, which is that, like, this
• 35:19
  Speaker 7: idea of Trump as a magical figure who hangs above
• 35:23
  Speaker 7: everything like a fucking fart. And I just think that
• 35:27
  Speaker 7: there's something that unites the anti-Trump and nonpartisan media in
• 35:31
  Speaker 7: how they sometimes talk about Trump.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: That's just an observation I wanted to make.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: That's a good observation.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Well, and no one embodies that better than Peter Baker.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Nobody.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: His stories are all bangers in that regard. I got
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: to go with Henry Olsen just because Yeah, it's the Republicans.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: The Republican Party, the elected leaders of that party, just
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: famously backing away from Trump at all the right moments. Well,
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: it's just sort of like, here's the thing.
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: If a person, I don't know, jumps on a trampoline
• 36:00
  Speaker 7: for a while, nobody's like, wow, great job. If a
• 36:03
  Speaker 7: bear does it, everyone's like, wow, that bear's smart and cool.
• 36:07
  Speaker 7: Republicans protecting democracy are like bears on a trampoline.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Everyone's like, look at that.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: This is the Axis dancing bear thing.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Axis dancing bear thing.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he leveled it up with a trampoline.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: Wait, what?
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Have you even heard Axarod say that? Dancing bear?
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: On a trampoline? No, when a bear is dancing, you
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: don't critique the bear's dancing. You just say, what the
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: fuck's the bear dancing for?
• 36:26
  Speaker 7: Oh. Yeah.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Well, cool, great minds.
• 36:28
  Speaker 7: I also think Joe Biden's too old.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: Also a prick.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: The take of the year, gentlemen.
• 36:45
  Speaker 7: Holy shit.
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: Holy shit.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Unbelievable.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get the Kevlar.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: Well, congratulations.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: It's the holidays. I didn't know what I loved. It's
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: the fucking holidays.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: Jesus.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: First night.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: Congratulations to Peter Baker, Henry Olsen, and of course, Jon
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: Favreau for those takes. Gentlemen, this was this year's Pundies.
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: Thank you for having me.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Allie Kiefer. Allie Kiefer.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: Crushed it.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: All right, a few quick housekeeping notes. 2024 is a huge,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: super high-stakes election year, and there's so much to keep
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: track of. You've got important voting deadlines, volunteer shifts, emergency therapy,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: and apparently you still have to go to work and stuff.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: That's why Crooked and Vote Save America created a 2024
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: planner to help you stay sane and organized next year.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: It's filled with important dates, much-needed motivation, and fun stuff
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: to keep you from losing your mind. To get your planner...
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: head to cricket.com slash store now. It's very funny and good.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: That's cool.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't know we were selling that.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: I love when John learns the housekeeping for the first time.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: It's every time.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Also, if you're looking for something to binge this holiday season,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: Friends of the Pod subscribers now have access to a
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: new limited series feed where you can listen uninterrupted to
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: This Land, Dreamtown, Adelanto, and Another Russia right now. Three
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: fantastic limited series that we've done here. Check them out.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Head to cricket.com slash friends to sign up and listen.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: It's our last segment of the year, which means it
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: is time to set our New Year's resolutions. Lovett, we're
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: going to start with you.
• 38:32
  Speaker 7: Well, don't we start with the previous year's resolutions? Okay,
• 38:34
  Speaker 7: so let's, I want to, don't I get to hear
• 38:35
  Speaker 7: what my, oh.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: You're, oh, sorry. I'm just doing it.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Well, I thought you turned to me to talk. You
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: turned to me and said, I thought, start with you.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: My mouth was open to say another thing. Well, I didn't,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: didn't seem like it. Didn't seem like it. Didn't seem
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: like it. Didn't seem like it. Didn't seem like it. Lovett,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: let's start with you. Here's what you said last year.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I want to start more books. I don't
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: need to finish them.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: No, no, no.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: It's specific.
• 39:00
  Speaker 7: I want to start more books because I feel like
• 39:02
  Speaker 7: there's this pressure. Abdul made this resolution about finishing more books. No, no, no.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: That's wrong. You should start.
• 39:09
  Speaker 7: It's like if you're making every flight, you're going to
• 39:11
  Speaker 7: the airport too early. If you're finishing every book, you're
• 39:14
  Speaker 7: not taking enough chances out there. I want to start
• 39:16
  Speaker 7: stuff and just know that if I don't finish it,
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: it's okay. I want to start more books.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: How'd you do?
• 39:22
  Speaker 7: I fucking crushed. My Audible is a graveyard of first chapters.
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: I did it.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: I did it.
• 39:29
  Speaker 7: Like, remember early in the year I was talking about
• 39:31
  Speaker 7: how I was reading that book, Rise and Kill First,
• 39:33
  Speaker 7: about the early days of Israel and the Mossad?
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: It gets to the late days, too.
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: What?
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: It gets up to, like, 2012. Yeah, but once it.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Got morally ambivalent, I got out.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: Right, right.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: When they were hunting Nazis, I was fucking in.
• 39:45
  Speaker 7: But by the time it got to the part where, oh,
• 39:47
  Speaker 7: this is a deeply, deeply troubling situation, I was like,
• 39:50
  Speaker 7: fuck it. It's time for some fiction.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 39:52
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: I don't remember that that was your resolution, but I
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: did the same thing this year. Good. I'm proud of you.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: I started, there's my Kindle, just a ton of books
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: where there's like, you know, 10% done, 8% done.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: Anyway. Big Amazon over here. Uh, really cool.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: All right, love it. What's your resolution for this year?
• 40:10
  Speaker 7: So I was thinking a lot about where my resolution
• 40:12
  Speaker 7: was going to be, and here's what my resolution is. Because, look,
• 40:15
  Speaker 7: as everyone listening knows, I have discovered a new kind
• 40:19
  Speaker 7: of emotional and psychological discipline around diet and exercise called
• 40:23
  Speaker 7: experimental pancreas medicine. And because of that, what I realized
• 40:28
  Speaker 7: is for the first time, as far back as I
• 40:31
  Speaker 7: can remember, I've always had a diet and exercise resolution.
• 40:34
  Speaker 7: I've always had a resolution that That was tied to
• 40:37
  Speaker 7: the fact that I feel bad about how I eat
• 40:39
  Speaker 7: and I feel guilty whenever I eat too much and
• 40:41
  Speaker 7: that I'm always spending a huge part of my brain
• 40:43
  Speaker 7: on that project.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: And for the first time, I don't have that. I
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: really don't. And it's really cool.
• 40:48
  Speaker 7: Forget the fact that it helps you lose weight. It
• 40:51
  Speaker 7: helps free myself from a really unhealthy relationship with food.
• 40:53
  Speaker 7: And so my resolution is to not spend the year
• 40:56
  Speaker 7: worrying about Food and diet. Like for the first time
• 41:00
  Speaker 7: to go into this year without any kind of like
• 41:03
  Speaker 7: emotionally unhealthy relationship with food and diet and exercise.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: That's my resolution.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: And to keep that going. Great. Good luck.
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: Thanks.
• 41:13
  Speaker 7: As long as they can keep this, as long as
• 41:15
  Speaker 7: Novo Nordisk can keep this shit rolling off the fucking
• 41:17
  Speaker 7: assembly line, I think I'll be fine.
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: Next up is Dan.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: Sometimes the diabetics get all the medicine and get a weight.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I waited for the shortages
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: to be over, people. Stay out of my threads.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: Next up is Dan.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Dan, here's your resolution from last year. Dan, you got
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: one for 2023?
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: In 2023, my resolution is to not mail in the
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: New Year's resolution section of this podcast, which I.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: Do every year.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we really do come up with them in real time. Okay, well,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: that's it, huh?
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: That's it. Well, you know what?
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: The playback next year is not going to be as weird.
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: Debatable.
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: I'm going to set some context, which is two years ago,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: I went first. And my resolution was something very basic,
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: that I was going to start playing pickup basketball again. Then,
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: right after we went Lovett, who gave a very extensive,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: vulnerable take on how he's improved his mental health and
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: how he wanted to focus on it.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: It was post-pandemic.
• 42:13
  Speaker 9: It was post-pandemic.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Coming out of the pandemic, it was very thoughtful. Then
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: we get to our show last year, and they played
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Lovett's first. And then mine, which did not age well.
• 42:25
  Speaker 7: Mine was like to find joy and meaning in the
• 42:27
  Speaker 7: small things. And Dan's like dribble, dribble, dribble.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: I want to shoot more.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: But then I will admit that 90 minutes ago.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad.
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: First, I asked John if he would tell me what
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: my resolution was, because like the nerdy is, he prepped
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: for this by listening to last year's pod on the
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: way to the studio.
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: And 89 minutes before that, I texted my wife to say,
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: I need a New Year's resolution.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: For this year.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: And I was about to tell Dan, but then he's like,
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: because I just, I can't do it last minute again.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, you know what?
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: I can't tell you.
• 43:06
  Speaker 7: You already have done it last minute.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: I already failed. I already failed.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: This is going great.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: So next year, I'm not going to do that one
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: again because I will fail it again. So I got
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: to say something. I have at least a slightly greater chance.
• 43:17
  Speaker 7: This is the most like meta resolution I've ever heard
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: in my life.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Just like looking through mirrors.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: The thing I really want to work on this year
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: is regaining some semblance of my attention span.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's a great.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Cause I, I really have felt mine. Trust me.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: I looked at the order in the script. Mine's close,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: but like in, like in the Republican debate, when they
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: ask which president is your role model, you have to
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: make sure you're not last on the Republican debate.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: Cause you can't do Reagan. Yeah.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: If you're going to do attention span, you got to
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: come before Jon Favreau here. And so I do feel
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: post pandemic, uh, post two kids, my attention span really has, uh,
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: shortened and that I it's, I'm not reading enough stuff.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: I have spent too much time with podcasts in my ears.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: I don't listen to the same number of podcasts to
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: be very clear. Just not like, I'm gonna try to
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: find more time when I'm not like do it in
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: the car, not like walking around doing the dishes. I
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: want to spend less time on social media. I want
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: to thank Elon Musk for making that somewhat easier, but
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I really like, I talk about all the time, but
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: I really do. Need to turn the notifications for a
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: lot of stuff off my phone, or at least the
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: non-sports notifications off my phone.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: That's great.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I like that resolution.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: I like that one.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: All right, here's what I said last year. Resolution for me,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: you're going to roll your eyes. I'm going to volunteer more.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: And I know, I know. But I feel like by
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: saying it out loud like this, I'm going to be
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: held accountable. And it's one of those things you always
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: want to do. But like, I got to actually go
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: out and do it on a regular basis.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: If you have a nonprofit organization, a charity, whatever.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: It's not like donate either.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: You got to like show up.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I want to go show up.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: If you need Jon Favreau's time, message him on social media.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: Hey everybody, can you just hear that silence?
• 44:58
  Speaker 7: That's the sound of soup not being ladled.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I just want you all to know, I have never
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: whiffed on a New Year's resolution as hard as I
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: whiffed on that one. I did zero volunteering.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, buddy.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, that is not true.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: I went door to door.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: I never saw you.
• 45:15
  Speaker 3: I didn't cut that as volunteering.
• 45:16
  Speaker 7: That's why I was wondering.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: I never saw you. Yeah, I was the set of
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: footprints next to you. We did the Taste of Home
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: thing with Emily and Hannah. I thought about that. Was
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: that last year? That was two years ago.
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: That was for their birthday two years ago.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Because I had the same thought, Tommy. And we did, obviously,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: knock on doors in Louisville and that. But that I'm
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: not counting because that's like political.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: If you film it for social media, it doesn't count.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: So I just fucked up.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: And I did donate a lot, which is exactly what
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: I told myself I couldn't do. But that is the thing.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I don't have the time, so I'm
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: just going to donate money instead. It's not a good substitute.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a fine substitute. It's better than nothing.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: But I fucked it up.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: So maybe I'll.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Volunteer this year.
• 46:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah, okay.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: But that's not my resolution. My resolution's about me.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: Look, well, there's one thing I learned myself in 2020
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: is I can't help others.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: Maybe I can help myself.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: That's exactly it. Well, that's where you have to start.
• 46:11
  Speaker 7: How are you going to love somebody else if you
• 46:14
  Speaker 7: can't love yourself, as RuPaul would say?
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Part of my resolution is similar to Dan's, which is
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: my attention span's gone. I have a strategy, which is
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: I want to take a walk 20 to 30 minutes
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: a day, maybe a couple days a week, realistically, where
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: I don't bring my phone and I don't listen to anything.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: It's big on TikTok, the silent walk.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the silent walk. Because I've done it a few
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: times over the last year and it actually does clear
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: out your head, makes you feel better, slows everything down.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: And I think next year, especially with the election and
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: about to have two kids, could use the time. So
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: I'm going to hopefully take just a little time for
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: myself to just walk around with my thoughts.
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you one question just so we put
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: safety into this?
• 47:03
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the time you went for the walk
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: and you fell and broke your shoulder?
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: No, I'm still dealing with that today.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Did you limp home or did you call for help?
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: I limped home.
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 47:14
  Speaker 7: Can I ask, can I add something to your resolution?
• 47:16
  Speaker 7: I'd like to issue a challenge right now.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: And here's my challenge. Can you promise to us right
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: now that in the.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: Year 2024... I'll volunteer once. No, I don't care.
• 47:24
  Speaker 6: You will.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: That's not what this is about.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: This is about you.
• 47:27
  Speaker 9: Okay.
• 47:28
  Speaker 7: I want you to promise to the listeners that you
• 47:30
  Speaker 7: will not use your phone at the urinal.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: I want you to make a promise.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: Don't make that promise.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Do not. You're not going to.
• 47:36
  Speaker 7: That is time that can be just for you.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, I've walked into the bathroom.
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: and have seen you use your phone at the urinal.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: What's the opportunity cost there? Like a little gander at
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: your own dick?
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: What are we missing out on?
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: It's thoughts in your own head. Thoughts, thoughts. It's a
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: perfect time to.
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: Look at your phone.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: It's not a perfect time to look at your phone.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Perfect time to look at your phone. It's a great time.
• 47:55
  Speaker 7: No, you're not in.
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not in for that.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: No, I'm not in for that.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: All right, all right, all right.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: I have, I did the, this is all from Offline Challenge,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: but then once in a while I just go to
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: the bathroom without the phone. It is nice to just
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: go without the phone to the bathroom.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a little treat.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: Because if it's there. It's just you and your penis.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: If it's, Hey, old friend.
• 48:11
  Speaker 7: Sorry I've been so distracted. I should be more present
• 48:13
  Speaker 7: with you.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Anyway.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: Walks alone.
• 48:21
  Speaker 7: From volunteering to walks alone. Basically, yeah. You want to
• 48:24
  Speaker 7: do the part where you're not on your phone all
• 48:26
  Speaker 7: the time, but you wanted to help anybody.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: As I listened to my resolution from last year and
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: knew what I was going to do for this year,
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, I'm an asshole.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: But anyway.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Uh, finally, Tommy, you were out during our resolutions episode
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: last year. So, uh, we thought we'd try something different
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: and let the discord members submit one for.
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: You to react to. Come on. Don't worry.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: It's not a funny one. This is just, it's genuine. Uh,
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: this is, I know. So you're going to hit it
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: even more. This is from Erica. Uh, a few years
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: ago when the Republicans here in North Carolina did some
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: fuckery with a bunch of constitutional amendments, I used my
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: socials to cover an amendment each week and it felt
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: like I was just shouting into a vacuum. But then
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: a coworker came up to me in late October and
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: and asked where my amendment update was. So I want
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: to use this year whatever platform I do have to
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: make sure people know that I can and will tell
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: them what's at stake.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Tommy, what do you think?
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Does that feel doable using your platform? to tell people
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: what's at stake?
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's very nice. I feel like I do
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: a lot of that.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what the fuck else are we doing? Those whole podcasts?
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: I don't think she's challenged. You're not being chastised.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: Is it a challenge?
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: This is about her, I think.
• 49:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: I feel like this is supposed to be adversarial. That's
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: what we do.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no.
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: Not with the listeners, with each other. Hey, interesting.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: Why do you feel that way?
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: What a funny reaction. Do I get to talk or
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: does Discord get to talk for me? You get to talk.
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, great.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: I do want to, again, say to.
• 49:45
  Speaker 5: John, Gen Z thinks they invented walking without headphones. So
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: I just do think that's important and funny.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: Which is wild.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: A silent walk.
• 49:52
  Speaker 5: I have a few because I'm the anti-Dan in this.
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: Next year, I want to skip this recording again so
• 49:58
  Speaker 5: that I cannot be held accountable once again to.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: I somehow got on.
• 50:02
  Speaker 5: A list that has led me to get dozens of
• 50:05
  Speaker 5: cold emails from random tech consultants. I want to find
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: that list, destroy it, and destroy whoever created it. Do
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: you not get this?
• 50:16
  Speaker 7: The first resolution is to not do something, and the
• 50:18
  Speaker 7: second resolution is to unsubscribe from something.
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: Do you get them from people?
• 50:21
  Speaker 6: No, no, no.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: It's to murder someone.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: Tommy, do you get them from people trying to solicit Crooked? Yes.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: Specifically, it's like, Hey, John, love to talk to you
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: about your blah, blah, blah. Your SEO optimization. And then
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: I don't respond because I'm not going to respond to
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: fucking people who email me who I don't know just
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: out of the blue to solicit me. So I don't respond.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: And then a week later you get, Hey, John, just
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: following up. Would love to do a call. With a
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: link for you to click for their own calendar. And
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: then sometimes you get like the fourth or fifth email.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: It's like, Hey, John... If you don't want to talk
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: to me or there's someone better at the company to
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: talk to, just let me know.
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: It's like, no, fuck you.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: Well, that's it. This is right. Stop bothering me.
• 50:52
  Speaker 7: If you're coming to me directly to ask about business,
• 50:54
  Speaker 7: I already know you're not the kind of person that
• 50:56
  Speaker 7: I should be doing business with.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: That's exactly right.
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm talking about.
• 50:59
  Speaker 7: If you're coming to me, you've made a mistake.
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: Learn better.
• 51:01
  Speaker 5: Good resolution, Tommy. Apparently I need to tweet younger. That's
• 51:06
  Speaker 5: a problem for me.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: I think trying to tweet younger is going to be.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: A problem for you. I would try to thread contemporary.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 51:17
  Speaker 6: Brutal.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, toot your age. Tweet younger. I think that's what
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Jared Leto got.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, boy.
• 51:25
  Speaker 4: Oh, boy.
• 51:26
  Speaker 5: I want to finally convince you guys that January 6th
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: was an inside job.
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 51:31
  Speaker 5: I've been pushing this boulder up the hill. I want
• 51:33
  Speaker 5: to force myself to stay in bed until 5.30 in
• 51:37
  Speaker 5: the morning no matter what.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: Oh, God.
• 51:40
  Speaker 6: Wow.
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: This is an insomnia thing.
• 51:41
  Speaker 7: Between John wanting to take walks outside and you wanting
• 51:43
  Speaker 7: to sleep until 5.30, you might as well get a
• 51:45
  Speaker 7: comfortable pair of.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: Shoes and go to the mall. It's not even about sleeping.
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: It's about training your body that you don't get a
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: reward if you get up at 4.15, you fucking psycho.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: I think you do. Yeah. You get to text us
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: about the news.
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: Look, I have said at least three really bad polls
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: by four, by five.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: I know. It just sends me.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not on this chain.
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: Um, I want to win elections. Huh?
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, Jesus. Oh, you like that one?
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: I want to hang out with my daughter more.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, you have a problem with that? Why don't you
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: take it up with her?
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: She's one years old. One year. One year.
• 52:24
  Speaker 7: Mm hmm.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: I guess a year and change now. A year and
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: a day. That's a good resolution. Sweet.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: What a great way to end.
• 52:31
  Speaker 7: I feel like you did a bunch of resolutions. Not
• 52:34
  Speaker 7: one of them showed a shred of vulnerability or desire
• 52:37
  Speaker 7: to change.
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm sorry. Eating better.
• 52:38
  Speaker 7: Wow.
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: Taking a shot to eat better.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: We were joking earlier about the time Tommy did the
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: resolution that was like, I'm going to work out less.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: Work out less and eat more fat. I've never triggered
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: you harder.
• 52:48
  Speaker 7: That was the all-time most frustrating fucking resolution. I want
• 52:52
  Speaker 7: to work out less and eat more junk food.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: Fuck you.
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: And then I had to come back here later and.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: Say, failed.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: Failed, yeah.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: Failed. I still look like this.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I still look like this.
• 53:00
  Speaker 7: Maybe I will get the sweet sauce with my salmon.
• 53:04
  Speaker 7: Fucking unbelievable.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: Unbelievable.
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: Is this over yet?
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: That's our show for today and this year. Those are
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: the pundies. Those are our resolutions. Make sure to hold
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: each other accountable. Everyone have a fantastic holiday, fantastic New Year's.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: We'll see you in 2025.
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: No, probably not.
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: Leave that in.
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: Leave that in.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Boy, would that be awesome.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, wake me up.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: Wake me up before September ends.
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: We'll see you in 2024. Bye.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Pod Save America is a Crooked Media production. Our producers
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: are Olivia Martinez and David Toledo. Our associate producer is
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: Farrah Safari, writing support from Hallie Kiefer. Reid Cherlin is
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: our executive producer. The show is mixed and edited by
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: Andrew Chadwick. Jordan Cantor is our sound engineer, with audio
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: support from Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis. Madeline Herringer is
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: our head of news and programming. Matt DeGroat is our
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: head of production. Andy Taft is our executive assistant. Thanks
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: to our digital team, Elijah Cohn, Haley Jones, Mia Kelman,
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: David Tolles, Kiro Pelleviv, and Molly Lobel. Subscribe to Pod
• 54:08
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• 54:10
  Speaker 1: video content. Find us at youtube.com slash at Pod Save America. Finally,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: you can join our Friends of the Pod subscription community
• 54:18
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• 54:23
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• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Sign up at crooked.com slash friends.