Latest / Pod Therapy / #425: Testicular Health, Condolence Fatigue, Motivation

Transcript

#425: Testicular Health, Condolence Fatigue, Motivation · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You got it. If I had to look over there
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: while he does it, all the better. Yeah, I didn't
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: see anything. Look the other way. That's called Nevada Justice.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Pew pew pe Texas from Fabulous Lost. Thanks nomadamis is
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: pod therapy. Real people, real problems, and real therapists. Can
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: make your questions anonymously at pod therapy dot net. Broadcasting
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: from good Man explaining studios. I'm nicked. That's Jim slips
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: pot therapy. No. Oh I didn't know somebody. I couldn't
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: get my script up in time.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Oh that's fine. I could tell whenever you stopped reading
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: halfway through.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: You can submit questions anonymously at pod therapy dot net.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: You can also email us at pod therapy guys at
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: gmail dot com, and you actually can name the studio
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: apparently once at patreon dot com slash therapy. We've had
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: people write in and say, hey, I would like to
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: pay to name.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: It a second time. Can we fix that?
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And we have said no, not out of principle, but
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: because I don't know how, and so get.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: A friends, get somebody else to do it.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: You know what, make a whole another Patriot account, so
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: you might get one shot at this make it count.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: We do not have Whitney with us today, so it's
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: boys club meetings. So there are no pants in the studio.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: We are living our best lives. Everybody's happier. I feel happier,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: you know, just feel like we could finally just be real. Yeah,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: tiptoe around her bullshit.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: So it's going really well.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: If you'd like to hear about yeah, yeah, dude, it's
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: a boy dance party. If you'd like to hear about
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Nick getting pulled over by the cops on the way
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: to the studio today, how he handled it and how
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: much he was drinking at the time. Patroon dot com
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: slash therapy, you can hear all about I would have
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: fun experience and the way that we would each handle it.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I felt good about that conversation. You could learn a
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: lot about law and how to deal with law enforcement
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: by listening to pod therapy.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I feel like we have some really great advice.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: So Patreon dot com slash therapy, you can always enjoy
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: our pre show hang out by signing up at any
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: level and send up for a year. Why not just
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: do that fifty two episodes a year. Enjoy yourself, get
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: that extra little bit, treat yourself. Treat yourself. It goes
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: right to your same podcast app that you are using
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: right now. You just copy and paste little code and
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: you're in. And then you also get access to our
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: live chat discord community. Get to discuss every episode with
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: other listeners, get feedback from the people that actually wrote things,
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: give them some thoughts, and just join a supportive and
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: wonderful community as well. See photos of people's pets. We
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: have an entire channel dedicated to that, which is actually
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: pretty great.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I would like to officially pass on my empathy my
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: deepest regards for all of our Canadian listeners. Ah, that's
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: very sorry. That's right. That happened this morning. It happened
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: this morning. Yeah, I was up at well, Laura and
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I were up at five am to watch the men's
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: discipline USA Hockey. Yes, the good job, first time in
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: forty six years on the gold And I'll tell you
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: what did you guys probably didn't watch the game. I
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: heard about it. I am aware that there is a
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: five am.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, that's true. The only way, Yeah, you didn't
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: stay up for it. I didn't stay up for it. No,
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: so uh, I was in bed promptly by four.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what this is. This was a great
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: example of how important good goaltending is. Okay, Canada had
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: that game, like they were in control of that game
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: at least through the second period and third period. Okay,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: they had the they look like they were on a
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: forty minute power play. Wow, Like they just they had
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: control the whole time. But our goaltender was just on
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: fire just because he could not be sick Wall the
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: save of the Olympics, probably the save of the last
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: ten years. Like, it was an amazing save.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: And uh, I love watching his scourage men of an
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: offense when there's just a goalie who will not allow
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: it and just yeah, and then and then at the end,
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: at the very end, because they went into overtime.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, and the US won it in overtime, and
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: that's awesome. Like when you've got a good goaltender, all
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: you need is you just need one good shot on goal.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: You just need one to slip by. Yeah, and you've
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: won the game. And that's Olympic. Olympic overtime rules are
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: the same as NHL or overtime, they're different. It's uh,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: it's three on three. Oh for was it eight minute
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: periods or no, no, no twenty minute periods. Uh for all eternity.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, Like they'll just go until there's a three
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: on three three though, okay, three on three wow. First
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: goal wins and they get rid of a lot of
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the fluff. So it's just go for It's all forwards,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: it's all offense at that point. Yeah, it's the game
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: picks up. It's a lot faster, I met.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because you're not going to have that four check,
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: so they're they're waiting for you to get to the
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: ice and like that's it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: You're going to just get shots. Jesus.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Well, congratulations to America. I'm Trump was right. I'm sick
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: of all the winning. It's embarrassing at this point how
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: much gold we've got, you know. I mean we just
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: like doubling the entire volume of Fort Knox at the
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Olympics every single time. So it feels good. It feels
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: going to be a champion again. I don't know about
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: the Winter Olympics. They're kind of fun.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Hockey is definitely the highlight.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and curling curly is fun as fuck. Yeah, Like
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I was watching the women's curling team fuck up, Sweden, and.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: It was awesome, like that shit is hard.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: It's really impressive what they're doing, Like it is so
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: like so much physics and geometry and shit.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Is so much bigger than regular shuffle board. It is.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: No, you're right, thank you. That's a really good comment. Yeah,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: it's super duper cool. So yeah, curling in hockey, I
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: feel like the two high points. I don't really get
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: into the rest of it so.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Well, it just feels like it's very that's the right
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: elitist in a way. Yeah, because because it's like, I
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: don't know, how much did you practice? As the Winter
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Olympics is the Olympics of the rich kids, Yes for sure.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like you have to have an entire ice rink
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: right at your disposal to be able to learn how
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: to do all of those things.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: In the first Northern latitude Olympics is essentially what this one.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Well, I know our country club had its. Okay, yeah
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: it was a very good lug one.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as the one down the street, yeah, the really
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: nice one.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Whereas you get to the Summer Olympics is like can
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: you run fast in the dirt?
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: And now here's a different event. Well, we're going to
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: run a little farther than the dirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: I was. I was talking. Now here's one where you
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: run and jump over things. So I was talking to
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: my kids about the Olympics because they're watching. They're like,
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: is America really good at the Olympics. And I was like, yeah, no,
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: we usually tend to do really really well at all
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: the Olympics.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: We're big and we have a lot of money.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, And they were like, why is that? And
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I said, well, one, we can actually afford to sponsor
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: the teams. This is their entire profession. They don't also
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: wash cars. And I was like, and number two, we're
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: such a diverse racial country that we can We have
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: a guy who's from Jamaica who's running in the Olympics,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: but he's the American guy. Like, we have a Swedish
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: person doing the downhill slalom and they're an American. So like,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: you know, we just kind of have all these people
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: that we've just inherited from other places. They're one generation
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: removed from where they came from and they can do
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: that show.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, we did good, but not Norway good. Oh okay,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Norway walked away with it. Yeah, did they they Norwegians.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: They know snow well. And not only that, but like
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: there was an article in New York Times about how
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: they're so dominant in the Winter Olympics, and a big
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: part of it is because of the way the government
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: kind of subsidizes a lot of these sports to get
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: the kids into these sports when they're really young, and
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: they try to make it as accessible and as as
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: cheap as possible so kids get into this stuff and
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: then you know, years down the road it pays off.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: And when socialism could buy an Olympics, there's no doubt
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: about it. Patroon dot com slash Therapy support the show,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: help us from socialism in our own way? Or I
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: guess this is just straight up capitalism. Give us money,
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I think, is the point I'm trying to make. There
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: we go there it is first question off the blocks today, Hi.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Or It's called Going Nuts by a long time therap producer,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: one of the original crew of their producers, I believe,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: second ever Robert Brownie, junior mint hypod therapists and life coach.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: In the past, I've called in to talk about suicide
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: and I've written in to share milestones in surviving that
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: was a hard journey that I set myself upon, and
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: while it wasn't exactly fun, you guys have given me
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: opportunities to inspire and encourage others.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: To seek help. But not today. Today, I write in
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: with a warning.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And a request to keep me in your thoughts. A
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: couple of weeks ago, I started having a dull ache
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: in my left testicle. The pain was just background noise,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: really like a two out of ten, but it didn't
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: go away. After a few days, I took time during
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: a shower to give myself a thorough examination, and what
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I found scared me. My testicle felt smaller than I remember,
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: and there was a large, firm mass on top the
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: source of the pain. Lightly squeezing the mass made the
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: pain shoot up from a two to a six. That's
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: when I began to worry. What if this is a tumor?
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I needed to see a doctor immediately.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I called to.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Urology office and asked for an appointment, but they said
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I would need a referral. I don't have a primary
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: care provider in Maine yet, so I went to an
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: urgent care. The doctor at the urgent care was so sweet.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: She gave me a physical examination and determined that I
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: probably just have an infection. This baffled me because I've
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: been with exactly one partner for the last eight years
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: and my last STI screening came back negative nine years ago.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: But the doctor assured me it wouldn't be a tumor
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: because testicular cancer generally doesn't hurt. So maybe I just
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: have superchlamydia that was hiding for nine years, like some
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: sort of sleeper agent.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Wait, that was what we decided on in the world
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: of zebras or horses. Yeah, super chlamydia was way more likely,
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: way more likely.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Didn't you write a song super chlmydia? Yeah?
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yah, it's a love song. Yeah, and uh yeah,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: yeah that was a song. At my tenth anniversary, I
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: asked for a urology referral just in case, and the
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: doc prescribed me Docsacycline for the infection. My mind was
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: at ease knowing that a few days of antibiotics would
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: relieve my pain and reduce the swelling in my testing.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: After seven days of my ten day course, the pain
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: and the lump was unchanged. I drove to a different
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: urgent care to get a second opinion and ask for
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: tests to be ran. The second opinion was that it
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: could be an infection, but it could also be a hernia.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: This doctor also assured me that a tumor was incredibly unlikely.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: It's not a tuma, never a tuma, but.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: He agreed that I should still see a urologist just
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: in case. Thankfully, my referral had gone through and I
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: had a urology appointment two days later. I arrived at
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: the urologist certain that I must have some crazy infection.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Maybe I had tuberculosis in my spermatic chord. Did you
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: know you could get that. I didn't add that to
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: your list of worries, Jim.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Not until going over through WebMD. Yeah. Things.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: But the urologist, who I was devastated to learn, was
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: a very pretty woman. Listen to everything I just explained
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: to you, and asked if she could do an examination.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: She begins inspecting my right testicle and I tell her
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: that it doesn't feel like anything, just feels like someone
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: is touching my testicle. Then she begins inspecting my right testicle,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: which I assume is actually left in this case, and
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I tell her that it doesn't feel like anything. Oh, okay,
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: this is just a repeating question it's a repeating sentence.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: So okay, so yes, touched the right testicle. Just felt
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: like somebody was touching my testicle. Then she begins inspecting
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: my left one. I tell her, yeah, that's the part
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: that hurts, but I'm not too worried because.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I no, no, no, the other one, And she said, what
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the third one?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: But I'm not too worried because the first floating testicle. Yeah, yeah,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I'm not too worried because the first doctor assured me
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: that cancer wouldn't hurt.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: And that's when I.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Noticed that my urologist looks worried. She tells me she
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: is actually very worried, that this feels very much like
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: a tumor, and that I would need imaging done immediately
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: this week. It cannot wait. I was at the hospital
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: the next day for an ultrasound. Did you know they
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: ultrasound your balls to check for tumors.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: I figured it would be too floppy, But that's totally
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: how they check for tumors, and that's how they found mine.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: In nine days, I went from just an infection to
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: it's a tumor and the whole testicle has to come out.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: You cannot wait.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Your surgery will be in six days, so at time
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: of writing, that's where it stands. I have to get
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: blood tests for cancer markers on Monday, then on Wednesday
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: when the show drops to patreons patreon dot com slash
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: therapy that's out for as little as two dollars a month.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: That is literally what Robert wrote. By the way, that
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: is not me capitalizing Jesus Christ. Robert also wrote that part, thank.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: You, ro It's weird because that's not in the script.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: That's pretty that you're just going to say that. No, no, no, no,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: no no, all the way he wrote everywhere, I can't
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: believe you have a long term support.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Of the show suffering in this example to try to
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: raise money. Okay, first off, of course we're going to
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: raise money on this. Okay, what what the fuck? What
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: do you think we're gonna do? Of course we're doing.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: We got so many T shirt ideas.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna start a save Rob Cambi. I'll
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: be going into surgery to have my left testicle removed
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: and sent off to pathology. We don't know if it's
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: cancer yet, but we can deal with that if it comes.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Right now, I'm just so scared of the surgery, but
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: I'm also ready for the pain to be gone. My
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: ask is that you keep me in your thoughts. I'm
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: starting upon a new journey. If I'm lucky, it's really
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: short and ends with the surgery. If not, well, this
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: might be one hell of a long road to travel.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: And finally, a warning, check your balls, fellas Whitney, you
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: should Untie Peter long enough to check his. Don't be
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: like me, don't wait until you feel pain. Whatever, it is,
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: better to catch it early.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: You guys already know.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I'll keep you posted. I hope my next letter is
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: good news. Hopefully it's benign. Maybe benign and a half
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: nice taking my ball and going home. Robert Brownie Junior
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Mint hashtag, safe Peter hashtag and the balls.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Ps.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Why couldn't it have just been super Clamyitia.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: I would like to commend Robert Brownie Junior Mint on
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: your courage, yeah, and your willingness to still take chances
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: in the face of this, thinking that Jim was going
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: to be able to on the first try pronounce the
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: word benign correctly and then not Butcher, you're benign and
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: a half inches joke. Yeah, yeah, that was such a
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: brave emotion for you to make there, Robert Brownie Junior meant,
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: and the fact that Jim came through I did it,
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: actually did it correctly.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Frankly, we all would have lost that beat.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: My brain said, beignet. And I'm gonna tell you right now,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: there was a moment there was some neuron deep in
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: there that got through and and the red phone was ringing,
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: and the executive function answered, and that it shouted, it's benign.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Probably not gonna be a p Yeah, it's probably almost
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: certainly not.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Don't think it's gonna be this dessert, but it could be.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: There could be a bit, it could be a powdered
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: sugar doughnut bit. It could be. So Robert, I'd like
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: to applaud you.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's your curer, well done, exemplary and the fact
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: that it worked out for you. None of us saw that.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: G glad we stuck the landing.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: So Rob is obviously a longtime friend of the show,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: and I just want to plug this because he mentioned it.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: One of the best things that we've ever recorded is
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: an interview where Rob shares with Nick about his own
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: journey through suicidality or no, he's on the show Wed
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: he's also been their producer interviewed. But one of the
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: best episodes we ever did was we zoomed Rob in
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: and he shared his journey through suicidal ideation and attempt
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: and recovery, and to this day it's it's one of
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: the most referenced episodes we've ever had. People that go
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: through the library find it and almost always immediately subscribe
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: to the Patreon come down to the Discord just to
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: speak about it and say like how much it moved them.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: And Rob's also always been a huge supporter of the show.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: He you know, his better half as well, Kate, has
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: been a big supporter of the show, one of our
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: original artists, and you know, they're very active in our discord.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: And actually our Discord knew about Rob's diagnosis before this
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: letter because we are pretty tight community, and Rob was
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: sharing a little bit about that in the appropriate channels
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: and people were I think, you know, it's just such
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: a fun thing about our community is there's a lot
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: of love and a sense of humor, but people thread
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: that needle very carefully, which I think says a lot
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: about us, and like the culture we've created that we
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: give him the right amount of tease and enjoy to
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: take a deep breath and get his head out of this,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: but also that sense of sincere regard. So this is
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: a serious one. And you know, I don't know that
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I ever told my story about this, but years ago,
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: one day I was going through a lot of testicular
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: pain and it came out of nowhere and I ended
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: up having to leave the studio. I came into the
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: studio and was telling you guys what was going on
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: with me, And like halfway through the show, I think
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: you guys had said, hey, that's enough, like you can't
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: sit in the chair.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: You need to go to a hospital.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: I do not remember remember this. Don't remember this. You
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: guys don't remember this at all. No, no, So who
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: are you? Yeah, there you go. This was years ago.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: This was pre COVID I think, or maybe maybe slightly
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: post COVID. But yeah, I was having severe testicular pain.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: It had been sitting around for like two weeks.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: I remember that one night that we tried to record
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: a show and you were so drunk you couldn't get
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: through sentences. So having to stop, that's happened, and yeah,
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: we just got through like time, okay.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Also that that's when he pooped his pants.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Y Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not the poop. But we
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: were in America. We were in Australia. Yeah that's true. Yeah,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: it was not Sydney, Australia. No, you're right, so no.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So this one had been really tough and I
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: was feeling all this pain and uh and so I
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: come into the studio and I shared like, hey, yeah,
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I've been in pain all weekend I had. I was
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: trying to get onto a telehealth appointment to check them
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: with a doc and the doc said, hey, you should
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: go to the urgent care. And I was telling you
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: guys about it. I was just trying to get through
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: the show. And I think it was like halfway through
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: the show during a break and you had stopped recording.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: And then she said, hey, man, your your face is
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: like contorted in pain, dude, Leaf, We've We've got the
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: rest of the show.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: Good job, Jared. Doc says the urgent care. Go to
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: the urgent care.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, Jim, So I went through this process similar
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: to Rob and I went to the urgent care and
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: it was an advanced urgent care. It was like they
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: had a lot there and they could do ultrasounds right there,
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: and so they did an ultrasound on me right there.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: This is the best case of chlamydia we have ever seen, right,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: they said, sir, you have like James Bond level STDs,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Like this is like this is the beaker. You are
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: more STD than man at this point. One of these
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: is only found in sharks.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: If we cure all of your STDs, you won't exist anymore.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: We have to counterbalance you.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I've ever seen the Avengers movies where the guy snaps
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: his fingers and they just turned to dust.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: That's what would happen to you.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: So for me, it was the diagnosis was what's called
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: the hydro seal.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: And so it's remember and that was the day we
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: all learned what hydro seals are. Like, so what fucking
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: ended up happening with you, Jim?
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: And it's like, okay, so because I think I did
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: a bit about seals, Yeah, but yeah, it was the
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: whole thing.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: And so eventually the pain subsided and it was no
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: longer problem. But yeah, so this is a really scary thing.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: You know, like we live in a world where cancer
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: pops up and it's never this thing where you see
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: it coming it's by its nature always a really big surprise.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: And I think, you know, I guess one point in
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: here I can only imagine. And I have been a
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: little bit through this to the point where I can't
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: imagine some of the terror that Rob is going through.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: And obviously his took a much greater turn towards Sirius.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: But I love and this is my only real com
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Here is just how Rob is doing the next right thing,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: you know, And I think that whenever you're facing a crisis,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: that is the thing you can only do is you've
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: got to simplify everything. And Rob has a couple of
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: lines in his letter where he talks about I'll deal
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: with that next thing when it arrives. But in the now,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I did not delay. I went to your I went
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: to urgent care Doctor one. Doctor one said, don't worry
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: about it. Take an antibiotic. That's the expert.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: YEP, that's it.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: That would have been fine. If Rob would have said, great,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: let's ignore this for another month. I don't think he
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: would have been wrong. But the decision to go to
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: urgent care too and get second opinion, and then to
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: follow up on urology request, which is never easy to
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: navigate the system. It's just it's a great example of
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: somebody just being a fucking responsible adult in the face
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: of a system that is not designed to accelerate you
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: towards success.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there would have been a big tendency for me
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: to just try to walk it off, you know, and
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: right and not actually I don't know, just not get
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: to the doctor as soon as I.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: Probably as soon as I feel something different, as soon
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: as I'm like, oh this this testy feels like it's
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: a different size and there's a lump.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: As soon as I feel that, I'm out. I'm done.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: I'm going. I'm going that day. Okay, oh good.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: If I if I feel something physically like that, that
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: will that's that's the type of.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Thing that will scare the shit out of me and
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: get me moving. Okay, I just will because that's evidence
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: for you. That's like, this is not like I'm not
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: guessing at anymore.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: I have no clue what this is. Like if I
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: hurt my knee or something, if I got pain, then
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I'll walk it off. But if but if i'm if
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: I can like, oh there's a thing, yeah, no, no,
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: that that'll that'll scare me and it'll it'll move me.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I like that we're all in agreement on that because
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: I think that as a show, you know, and we've
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: become much more diverse since we've added Whitney.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: But I mean, one of the.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Things that's always in the hallmark of the show is
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: like three win, we lose them middle aged white guys
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: talking about emotions and ship And a lot of people
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: have written in the show over the years and said, hey,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: this is a refreshing voice, you know, to like here
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: guys that also do fucking fantasy football and curse and
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: and you know, give each other bullshit. But then like
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: actually talk about responsible emotionality and mental health and and
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: this gives us a chance to also remark upon physical
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: health and make that something to say. Yeah, like Rob's
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: warning to the public is you need to be proactive
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: with your healthcare. And I don't want that to smack
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: of Rob did something wrong, because I don't think any
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: of us are sitting there fondling our balls, you know,
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: looking for danger.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: And also they're looking for danger.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: YEA, yeah, well fondeling your own balls looking for danger.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I mean ously, what Nick did to get out of
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: that ticket is not what we're talking about. Patron dot
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: com slash therapy.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: Possession is nine tenths of the law case and he
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: got all nine. The long nine as they call it,
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: be nine.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: So I don't know.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, Nick, obviously you're a huge advocate
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: for for people taking their health seriously, especially people, you know,
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: being proactive with all their you know, components, specially fitness
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: and just nutrition and being thoughtful about this kind.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Of this tumor in your balls at getting them all
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: in there. What are your thoughts on some of this? Yeah, no,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I you know what show you wrote into, Robert.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: You buy this show you fucking sponsored were here because
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: you play like.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Cancer, especially testicular cancer, I think is one of those
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: things that we've all most men are age have had
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: that close call or that something that you thought like
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: like oh shit, because I've had a similar experience myself
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: when I was in Iowa where I was just like,
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: oh that's really tender. That hurts. I don't know what
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: this is, right, And for me, I think it was
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: just yeah, super duper chlamydia. Actually, because I don't do
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: anything half assed, right, Yeah, you getmydia, I get good stuff.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: I get the Yeah, you know, jo Is with his whiskey.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: How Jacob is with is whiskey. That's why I am
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: with my STI Yeah, I.
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: Want I want a nice vintage. You've got some rare ship. Yes,
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, you got people hadn't seen before exactly. Yes,
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: you want the good stuff. You know, it's it's only
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: chlamydea if it comes from a.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Certain region of France. It's only super clamodia if it
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: comes from a certain region of my particular vineyard. Yeah. Yeah,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: but I mean, and so that is really scary, and
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: it's really hard because like when you got those moments
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: where you're in between like Okay, we know it's right,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: it's not this. We know it could be this. We
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: don't know. We've got to do this other thing next week.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Like that's a long week.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: And all we really know for sure is that something
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: isn't normal. Yes, right, yeah, that's the only thing we
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: do know, and we're like yep, yeah, maybe we'll figure
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: out what it is.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Keep searching. And it is also difficult then too, when
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: it's like you want your doctor to take it stabiously,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: you also don't want your doctor like being like holy shit,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: oh my god, we need to do something. But it's
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: like so when you when you see like that level
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: of concern in your doctor, and your doctor's like, okay,
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: we need to we can't delay, we need to act now,
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: it's really hard to like calm those other inner voices
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: in your head that are just like holy shit, panic, fire, alarm, right,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: you know, it's really hard to keep it all together
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: in those moments.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I think also another component of this that you know,
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: I just want to acknowledge is I think whenever your
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: medical professional is saying we're going to amputate a part
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: of you, like we're going to take something, you know,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: and like in this case, you have two of these
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: and we're going to take one. And you know, Rob
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I think has shared in the past that you know,
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: he's already made his decision about children and stuff, so
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: that's just not a factor in this. But yeah, you know,
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: like a part of your body is going to be
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: taken away, and you know, men aren't walking around dangling
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: our nuts everywhere, you know, to be observed by the public.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: For the most part, patreon dot com slash therapy is
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: the exception.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: To the rule.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Nick Dangermin, Yeah, you know, we sell, we sell what
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: we got, but you know, I can appreciate that, you know,
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: there's a little bit of a psychological factor here, where as.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: A man you're there was a cat in my yard. Okay, wonderful.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Jacob just ran back waiting for the dogs to
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: come attack that gun. But yeah, I just want to
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: acknowledge that, right because like if if you were told, hey,
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: we think there's a tumor in this situation or that,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: and we've got to remove this, there's this sense of like,
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: can you triple check, can you quadruple are you sure
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: before you do this? Before you do this irreversible? I
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: can appreciate a person feeling a little bit of tension.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: I suppose. Yeah, man, that is not how I that's
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: not how I work. Yeah no, no, I agree. I
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: think Rob the right move.
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: No, No, I'm very much like, oh, you can just
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: take that out and then we'll see if that did
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: it great?
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Take it out. Okay, that's kind of where I'm at to. Yeah.
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not of the mindset of like, oh, you're
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: taking a piece out of me and that bothers me.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I don't.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: Need that piece to keep on living, and you can
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: take it out and that might just fix everything sweet, Okay, Yeah.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: And it'll make me a faster swimmer, that's true.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which although, as we recently learned with the ski jump, yes,
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: it does limit the amount of fabric that you can
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: put in the crotch region for your ski jump uniform.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Well I changed my mind. If this is gonna affect
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: my ski jumping.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, then I'm willing to risk death.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I realized I've never ski jumps, but I was thinking
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: about it. You've been holding on to that. But then
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you do get to get the prosthetic ball. Oh do
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: you know about the prosthetic balls.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: You can get prosthetic testicles testicles put in, so if
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: you have a testicle removed, they can put a fake
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: in so you keep like the shape everything.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: You've been sleeping on this, that's the fucking best.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: There are a few things you can do with Okay,
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: One you can do the pump up penis, so like
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: for people that have surgeries or hormalodies or whatever where
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: they can't get erections anymore, they can do like air pumps,
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: and they can put like the pumps in the testicles,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: so you're like testicles pumps out of here.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. Oh, my god. Oh those things. Oh
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: this is.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Great stand by erection, it's the best. Oh yeah, or
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: do you just do it when you're walking down hallways?
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: It would just be a squeaky toy. That's what I
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: was thinking, squeaky toy, squeaky toe.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I would want one like that. Oh yeah, no, I
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: think I think that the best would be the old
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: old time car horn. You know, I also want to
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: have it done. No, not no, not not not you know,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: just you know, yeah, you know, just get them all
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: in there. I mean, there's a lot of fun you
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: could have with this. I mean, if you could program it,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: is it security checks? Oh? Could you bluetooth it to
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: your phone? Yeah, and then you can like change the
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: ring tone.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, or the or could it be a
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: heater you know that actually would be What if it's
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: a contactless battery charge?
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: What about a bluetooth speed and so you just t
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: bag your your phone whenever you're low on juice tooth speaker. Yeah, honestly,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: play anything I want through it. Yeah, I mean.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: Bone conduction. Also, rob if you get a prosthetic ball.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: If you get a prosthetic ball, mental health month is
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: us naming that ball like and I need you to
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: dedicate this to us. Okay, dedicating your testicle to mental
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: health is what you were always meant to do.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Let us do it. That's a mental health month, and
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know when, Like, is it November is like
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: Men's Oh yeah, yeah yeah, the men's health months. Yeah yeah, November. Yeah.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: It's like a two for one. Oh yeah.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: We absolutely, there's no way we do not do a
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: year of fundraising on his ball.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I think there it is. There it is.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: When I first found out about my ball, I Robert
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: Brownie Junior miant with was concerned.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I admit to you I had concerns.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: But ever since I have gotten this bluetooth speaker installed
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: where my testing used to be, I'll listen to this
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: music everywhere I go.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: It's just music from his ball.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Well yeah, where'd you think this music was coming from.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: I don't have any other speakers with me. It's clearly
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: coming out of my ball. A.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: Robert Brownie Junior mint endorsed this podcast.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: All right, blueto boy. You could really hear him walking
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: away too. Bluetooth testicles.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: All right, So no more blue balls, no blue tooth
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: test blue tooth testic oh Man, Rob you're definitely sleeping
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: on the silver lining here. You know, clearly this is
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: only an upgrade. Now you're the bionic Man. You know,
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: that's clearly what this is.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Well, if this affects his sexuality.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well you know I think that he's
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: uh he's always been pretty open about that. Okay, so
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: we just let him be him and.
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Uh, I don't know how he feel about Onyx, you know, Okay,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Uh, I have nothing, Rob. We love you, man, best
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: of luck. You're rooting for you.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: It's interesting you bring that this games up comes up today.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: My next door neighbor just this morning left, as we're recording,
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: left of the Mayo Clinic this morning because my extra
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: neighbor has cancer and is heading down to uh major surgery. Uh.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: They're doing a surgery.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: They have to like go through I think four different
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: organs to get to it. So I have to take
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: out multiple pieces of multiple organs. It's a whole Yeah,
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: it's it's terrible, but yeah, best best of luck, Rob.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: My.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: My own experience in cancer is that you you have
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: to get up every day and you have to deal
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: with it. It's it's just a thing that you that
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: is now part of life and you just have to
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: deal with.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be an all consuming part of life,
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: but it is just a it's a it's a one
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: of the shittier parts of life. But it's just another
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: shitty thing that now has to be dealt with. That
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: is part of this whole fun bride.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: We got Yeah, and if you would like to purchase
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: a pod therapy prosthetic testicle pod therapy baitshop dot com,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: we will get one up there.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Oh see what they got? Yeah, we can absolutely get
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: some kind of ball. There we go.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: I have returned more Robert Brownie Junior Mint from the
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: Great State of George.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I am back.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: I want to tell everyone check your ball, check them,
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: check them, because you too might be able to get
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: one of these fantastic Bluetooth speakers.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: It's tall in your testicles. Yeah, and there's all gonna
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: be Robert bout it, Juna Mint. I will now walk away.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: It will take me about five seconds to walk away
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: until you can't hear me anymore.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: There he goes, look at him. Go, then goes my hero,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: what jim ass It goes, Oh, yeah, he's out of here.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Shot it tosk him about five seconds.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: We're gonna take quick break in when we come back,
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: we are answering a question about offering condolences. You are
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: listening to pod Therapy.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Smitthie Scoop and
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: Masons Miller, Tess Miller, Biler, T Paris and T Monico Ostro,
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: swanros Anna, Marie, Emma Kine, Myra and Sam Cone. And
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: if you'd like to sponsor the show, become a therap
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: producer a Patreon dot com slash there. All right, been
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: looking forward to this one, Emma sent us in a
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: while back. All Right, welcome to the corporate Genograham Where
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: Who's your daddy? Is a legitimate business question? Okay? Okay? Uh,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Jim where and have you start off? Here? We go? Okay, tied,
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Pampers and Gillette all roll up to which parent company?
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Oh my, oh.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: My, got Unilever. That's my final answer? Are there options?
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: There are? I would like options? I heard final answer? Oh,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I heard final answer to all right? Is it fuck you?
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: You're just putting it in there? Is it? Uh? Procter
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: and Gamble, Ship Mondalaz International or Booking Holdings God damn it.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: If Unilever is on there for real, I want it.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Give me Unilever. No, God damn it, you find me?
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: You fuck me good? Was it on there for real? No,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: God damn it.
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: I always do this, Jacob for the Steel. Oh, I
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: believe it is Unilever?
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Oh? Correct? Was I mispronouncing it? You a believer? That
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: on me? What is it is? Procter and Gamble? Okay,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: all right, Jacob? In twenty fourteen, which company announced it
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: would acquire Twitch for about nine hundred and seventy million dollars,
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Probably Steel?
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: I I think it's YouTube or I guess I guess
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: that'd be Google.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, Alpha alphabet or whatever it is. Well, we'll give
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: it to you if it's any of those three. Are
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: you going off the hip on that one? Sure, that's
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: a courageous man. No, Amazon, Nick final answer. It is,
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: and that's why the prime membership thing can be applied
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: to Twitch.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense. Shame on.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: You're the only one of us that got a dime
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: out of Twitch ever because of Amazon, and you didn't.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: Know every month that's on you. Yeah.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: I will take that Steel and feel really fucking good
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: about it. That's fine, Okay, my qu uh the company
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: that can sure your car Geico, hand you a Blizzard
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: dairy Queen, and power your TV remote Dura cel Is.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: Options are Procter and Gamble, Berkshire Hathaway, Unilever, Unilever, Pepsi.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: Co Jesus, oh my god, Huh. I'm uncomfortable with any
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: of those being the right.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with Procter and Gamble. Okay, I mean
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: that feels better than Pepsi. It's definitely not pepsi. I
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: don't know, dude, pepsi os Taco bell. Okay, I got
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: it wrong. Is it pepsil not pepsi? It passes over
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: to me? And now I just got a freebie, all right,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: So now I'm down to two. I got Procter and
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: Gamble and you Lever give me proc No, you said
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: Procter and Gamble. Give me. What was the other options? Uh,
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Procter and Gamble, Berkshire, Hathaway, Pepsi Co. It's probably Berkshire Hathaway,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: it's Unilever, It's gotta be Uni. It's it's my answer,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: is you know all right? We're both throwing down on
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: this one. It's Berkshire. Yes, I did too, commanding in the.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: In the Rules of Justice bits. I needed that one
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: to be unilever. Know, I needed I needed the correct
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: answer to be unilever. For Jim to not get it correct, right,
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: I do it. I needed that for the bits.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: Ye, well, I didn't.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: Need you to do it. I just needed that to
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: be the truth. Oh that wasn't That wasn't a criticism
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: of if you're not doing the bit. I needed that
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: to just be the truth of the universe to happen,
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: and it was not. I needed the universe to do
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: that bit for me.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Well, you know what they told me at Liberty that
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: this would happen.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: God would pick me. This is what.
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: This is my crisis, This is it. This is happening
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: right now. Oh man, holy ship, my push was on fire.
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: Thank you, Jerry Folwell, you're right about everything.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry it sounds like my dog.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Offering condolences.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: Hello everyone, Jesus hard pivot.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: Here we go, offering condolences. Hi, my father died about
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: five months ago, then two months after that, my mother died.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: If anyone just said I'm so sorry or some variant,
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: the rest of this letter does not pertain to you.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: I swear I really hated when I told people about
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: my parents' deaths and they would reply with some variant
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: of i'm sorry. When I was dealing with funeral homes
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: or banks or insurance companies, I didn't feel bad about it.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: I figured they had to say shit like that, and
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: at least the interruption to the business at hand was brief.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: It was still fucking annoying, though.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: Watching people who are not in any kind of especially
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: when they're not like customer front businesses on the regular. Right,
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: when like a personal thing like this intersects with just
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: cold business, it is always a very.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: It's often a very awkward interaction.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: I could see that between It's it's not an interaction
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: that anyone is prepared.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Because you're talking to the phone person like Okay, can
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: I please get the account number? No no, no, no, no no great,
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: I have that registered to so and so. Yes, he's
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: deceased as of last month.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: I'm his son.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, sir. What is
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: your name and date of birth?
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: And it's like, huh, call me to do this thing,
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: and we have to do this thing. Yeah, and you
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: also just told me that a love passed away and
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: there's a thing like socially that we're supposed to do.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: I need to acknowledge it. But then I can also
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: see people going hard the other way with it, like
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: oh my god, sir, sure are you okay? And it's like, yeah,
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I'll talk to my shrink about that.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Please. I need you to fucking make a fun This
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: is Bank of America. Yeah, exactly.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: Let's both understand why I'm calling. What surprised me was
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: I would get upset when friends would say it too.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: These are people who care about me, and we're expressing
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: heartfelt sorrow at the losses of my parents. But every
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: time I heard i'm sorry, I had a brief moment
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: of rage. Never acted on it. I just said thanks
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: and move don, and I settled down pretty quickly. I
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: know i'm sorry is the default thing to say when
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: you hear about someone else's loss. I've said it plenty
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: of times myself. What else can you say? Am I
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: deranged to get angry when someone expresses their concern for
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: my loss in a totally normal and socially acceptable way.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: I just know that I'm default to. That sucks from
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: now on because I'm sorry pissed me off. Thanks Adam
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: ribisnick rip chick.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's your opinion. No, whenever I see his name
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: and I have to read it, what I do is
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I picture Whitney saying it. Oh, I can say it.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: I think that helps. That's what they say.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: To do whenever you're feeling scared at a speech is to.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Picture Whitney naked.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: You get trying to say people's last name, you get naked,
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: and then picture Whitney's saying his name.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I heard. You picture Adam naked. We
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: all got to do our thing.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, No, I'm not criticizing whatever works, Okay, clarifying
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: what are your secrets?
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: This is a tough.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: One, you know, And I appreciate Adam not being a
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: dick about it and saying like, look, I agree, I
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: don't have a better alternative in hand.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: But when it is.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Happening to you, there is something shallow and pointless about it.
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: It's performative, and I can appreciate that that feels.
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, oh, I don't have to do any
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: of that to figure this out.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: I do this exact thing.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, what do you do when people If someone dies
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: and I say to someone, you know, that the X
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: person died, and when they say I'm sorry, all I
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: see is.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: Just white hot rage. Oh you you related to?
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: Oh no, I do this exact thing interesting When people
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: say that they are sorry, Like if if a family
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: member dies or a friend dies or something like that, and
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: people tell me that they are sorry for my loss.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Rage, pure what pure rage.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: I don't like when people say my condolences because I
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: feel like you just dust it off a word that
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: we don't ever use.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: I can live with condolences. Do you like that word?
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: I don't like any of it.
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: But honestly like that that sucks that Adam says, that's
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: kind of the boat that I live on, as I
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: say something along the lines of that sucks, because like
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: all I can do in that moment when I'm in
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: that position is like kind of shrug and go like, man,
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: it fucking sucks.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: I like the idea of agreeing with them and acknowledge.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: It's like if somebody said I got in a car
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: accident in the way here, and it's like, oh man,
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: that's awful. That's it, Like, you know, like I don't
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: want to go further than that. I mean, obviously, if
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: it's on the way here, you're going to ask questions like,
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: are you okay.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: It's a weird example. Yeah, it is a weird example.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: But if somebody said like, oh.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: We're just going to erase that from the tape, I'm
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: gonna yeah, don't worry about it.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Back to one, Back to one. It's kind of like
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: when you're on an airplane and they bring out the
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: peanuts and you're expecting the pets, you know, and then
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: you say I want the pretzels and they say, we
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: don't carry those certain and you say what, Well, it's.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: Always the other way around, because then the peanut allergies
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: are what keeps the peanuts off, and so they have
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: the pretzels usually, but they don't have the peanuts.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Coming back to back to one, it's kind of like
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: whenever you're at your bridle shower okay, and then the
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: catering is slow and they go, oh, no, we're not
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: going to have the catering here on time, and you
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: look at the bride to be and you say, I'm sorry,
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: and you know what, that's gonna fucking put turkey sandwiches
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: on the tray.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: So what I'm hearing you say is that when someone
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: expresses to you that they lost a family member. Yes,
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: your go to is like times are tough for everybody. Yeah,
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: I was just at a bridle shot.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: I was at the end of yeah and yeah, the
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: ones that they didn't solid the airline one, yeah, the
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: other one about the car accident.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: And then you're like, hold on, let me play you
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: a nice song to make you feel better.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: Where's that sound coming from? Oh, you'll never get Jesus,
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: how much did you pay for that?
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: Insurance covered the whole thing because I went to pot
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: Therapy baitshop dot com.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: No, but I do, And I mean, you're not mad
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: at the person saying it. What is it about that
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: that creates the emotional reaction.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: It's it's a huge thing, and it's a you know,
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: there's there's not there's not a thing that someone can
• 45:25
  Speaker 3: say to do anything, and so for someone to even
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: try is a little maddening. Yeah, that's that's my that's
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: my thought process.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Orry upset that they're trying.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: I kind of am, but I'm not. But yeah, of
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: course I'm not upset with them. I'm not actually upset
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: with them. I'm furious because my friend is dead.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: I look at it as almost like an emotional rawness
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: from too much contact. That's probably a better way of saying.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: And it's like, look, you know, a thousand people shook
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: my hand today. It means the world if you just
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: give me a nod, and it's like thank you, thank
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: you for sparing me from you know, you saying I'm sorry,
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: me saying thank you, and like moving on for like
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: I just want you to just I would I'm fine
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: with silence if somebody says, you know, yeah this person
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: passed and just acknowledging it and just kind of silently.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, you know, like I had I think I've
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: not even said on the show, the show a long
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: time ago.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: Uh, Like I had a person at a funeral that
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: I was at for a friend, Uh, comes up to
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: me and she was only being sweet.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: She was she was a little old lady that had
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: known me my entire life. Yeah.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: Uh, and she was only being a very a very
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: nice person. And she just said, like, oh ah. The
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: words she said emotionally, I think I'm quoting her. Of
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: course I'm wrong, sure, but the words she said were
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: something along the lines of, I don't know how you're
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: going to do this anymore? You and he were always together,
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: m right, and I was just furious.
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, just just pure rage.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: The delivery is bad and it's she was only being
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: she was only being kind sir. Without your friend? Why
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: are you even here? Right?
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're going to crawl into the coffin with your
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: friend because I don't know what else you're going to do.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's that's the path that it goes down.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: But you do have to remember that these people are
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: trying to say something and you know this, Adam, Yeah,
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: I mean they're trying to say something to you in
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: this moment where words don't suffice.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, that's that's all it is.
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: And they know that they are using words, and you
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: know that they are using words, and both of you
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: know that those words are not good enough. It could
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: be frustrating. It's certainly a lot going on. Do you
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: go the other way with it? So friend comes up
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: to you and say, you say, hey, man, how have
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: you been lately? Says you know, man, not good? Two
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: people have died in my life in the Spanish six months.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Do you try to surprise him with the old switcher
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: room congratulations?
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I just go straight to the fist bump.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: Okay, oh oh, the ambiguous fist bump, just a quiet
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: nod and then reaching out slowly and seeing what happens,
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: and you know, if it's not returned, retract, retract very slowly,
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: hand in pocket.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: Then you do the the hand with hand. Yeah, like
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: act like it was. Yeah, I was never trying to Yeah,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: just okay, I like this. This is a solid move. Yeah,
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: I like this. All right, congratulations, Yeah, let's do that. Congratuldolences. Okay.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I would go in for a slow.
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: More strength than is necessary, but not enough to cause
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: pain genital to genital hug where I just I squeeze
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: you a little harder than you really want to be squeezed.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: And you don't let go with our genitals? Yeah, mas
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: mushed together?
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, And and the the bluetooth is is playing loudly
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: into the pelvis of the other person. Right, are you
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: choosing some kind of song that's appropriate for the moment
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: to be played through the time it only plays the
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: one song?
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Oh shit? Really? Yeah? Okay, you know what I think
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: we should pay for the upgrade. I don't like that thing.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: You have one for ninety nine cents. You can get
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: Take My Breath Away by Berlin. I mean on the
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: Apple store, the top of my hat, A nail feel
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: this way before.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: Ah, yeah, this is coming from the ball.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I think that that's the move.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: I think it's the gentle testicles hug and you just
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: do not release. Yeah, I think that's how you send
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: that signal.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: There's no right way to do this. I don't know.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't I don't have a I
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: don't think I've don't know. I guess I don't really
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: have a reaction like good or bad when people say
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: like I'm sorry, or condolences or he.
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: Treated as like a neutral platitude. Yeah, there's nothing here.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: It's just what you see.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: What it is. Yeah, I mean, it's just I kind
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: of think that, you know, this is like I've been
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: in that situation, you know, where somebody has some terrible
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: news and you want, as a human being, you want
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: to express something and you're just like, shit, I don't
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: know what to say. Yeah, And I think for me
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: when I'm when I'm in that situation, I just kind
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: of see that like people are just going to say
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: something because they're uncomfortable and they don't know how to
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: handle this.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: I'm with you on that I'm actually more comfortable with
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: the I'm sorry. If we can stop right there, I'll
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: allow that much. But when people start wanting to go further,
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: and now we're getting into these statements like I.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Don't want to have a conversation.
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, he's in a better place.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, don't get me oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. Yeah you know, are
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: you okay? Uh? Fuck you. I don't know that.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like you have the right to put
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: me on the stand now and get this data out
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: of me. But it is really funny going like, oh, yeah, yeah,
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: I'm great.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I've never better, never better. Well, yeah, I'm not dead.
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, jesus no, I don't know if you heard me right,
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: I'm alive.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: I'm fine.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I have so much inheritance. It's it's been wonderful.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: I don't I don't like any of that extra talk.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: But I also don't know because like, and I appreciate
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: that Adam is looking at us and saying, I realize
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: I am I'm the crazy person here.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: But I think that there's an emotional abrasion that happens
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: the hundredth fucking time that, Yeah, No, anybody in Adam's
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: position is just tired of it, and you're not a
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: bad guy for being tired of it. It's just fatigue,
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: you know, It's just it's just it's raw. At that point,
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it again. But like, I
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: feel like friends are stakeholders in your life, acquaintances who
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: want to know more or want to find out more
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: about how they died or things like that.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: I don't like that.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: I feel like you're you're extending, you're injecting yourself. You're
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: imposing yourself upon me and your curiosities to force me
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: to talk about something that I've acknowledged is hard. A
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: friend who's close to me like, if you know, if
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: I told you, guys, I'd suffered a loss of my life,
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: I feel like you would have the right to say, hey, man,
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: do you want to talk about it? I feel like
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: that's probably how you'd approach me, as do you want
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: to talk about it? If I was like not really, big, great,
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: we're here if you change your mind, I think that's
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: the right move. But I think you'd both say something
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: to the effect of I'm sorry.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: To hear that, man. I think my go to in
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: situations like that, and I don't really think about it.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: I don't like have a like, I haven't put a
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: lot of thought into this. I think I just kind
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: of would react and just be like, oh shit, that's terrible.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, just just the hot take of oh no,
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, back to back, Jesus man, that's awful.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I don't know, I don't know. That's
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: a good question. I don't know. Now I'm now You've
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: you got me second guessing what I say to people
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: and like.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: You right, so, just at least airing at them, I
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: think is the only neutral move that we have left
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: besides the testicular hug, that with the full uh bushing yeah,
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: with with dirty dancing playing all the way in the background. Nobody,
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Oh I think I'm a scatman is what needs to
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: play from.
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: Montestical plays one artist and one artist only, and that
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: is Doctor John. Motestical plays exclusively Doctor John, exclusively eighties Joel,
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: what's that song by Glenn Miller?
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: Oh? That song? Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I do not, Adam. Uh, I'm not gonna say it.
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it. I almost said it. I
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: almost did too, because that's all. Alas how we finish
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: the letter coolences.
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: There we go, Yes, regards yours truly, Balls Deep condolences, Balls.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: Deep episode title. I think that the ball Yeah, balls
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Deep condolences. That's it.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: We are going to take a quick break and when
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: we come back. I can't see the next question. I
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: think it has something to do with motivation. You are
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: listening to pods safe Guests.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Today's episode is brought to you by Smitie Scoobjason, Miller,
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: Test Miller, Piler, t Paris, Team, Monico, Oscar swanros Anna, Marie,
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: Emma k Myra and Sam Cone. Would you like to
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: sponsor the show? Become a therap producer a patre dot
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: com slash there.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: So I believe I am in a commandingly because God
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: is on my side.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Two to zero zero zero in two okay, Jim? Yes?
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: Which two are both P and G brands? One in
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: the P one of the G A Sharman and Bounty,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: b Oreo and Ritz C, Doritos and Cheetos, d Booking
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: dot com and hotels dot com.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: Oh Jesus Christ, all right, I think Dorito's and Cheetos
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: is lays. So I'm gonna step off of that one.
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: And I think that the Bounty and the other one
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: that's owned by those like Coke brothers, because I'm always like,
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: fuck Bounty, because the Coke guys. So I'm gonna go
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: with the Oreo another one. I'll bet you know. Yeah,
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: it's own by Nabisco, and I'll bet you Nobisco is
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: underneath Procter and Gamble give me two and the P
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: one in the G for option B. No, God, damn it,
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: d you forsook me, father, No.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: Shit, no correct answers A Sharman and Bounty, all right, Jacob,
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: which candy company quietly built a veterinary empire? Benefield v
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: c A and Buckeye Equine National. Is it a true
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Hershey's b Ferrero C Mars Incorporated? What or d Mandolas
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: but chocolate kills dogs? Oh no, Hershey's owns a lot.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: I'll go Hershey's. It was white guilt.
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: They are scared about all the dogs they've killed.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: No, no, it's gonna be Mars. Give me Mars. Yes,
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: I take it all back, Jerry fall, while you were right.
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: Three three to zero. Dorito's and Cheetos are owned by
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: this is mine. I'm gonna say Pepsi company on the fly. Oh,
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: it's going for two, going for two for two, and
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: I'm correct. I'm gonna give myself four. Oh no, very good.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: I forgot he can do? Shall he earned it?
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: One more?
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Real quick? Okay, up for everybody. Oh it's buzz Hotels
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: dot Com and Verbo are owned by fuck options, Expedia
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: Group Booking Holdings, Marriott International or Hilton Worldwide.
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: Oh god, the last two don't feel right.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: I think it's Marriott. I'll say Marriott. Okay, I don't.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: I'll bet you it's not specific. Give me Expedia. It
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: is Expedia. Yes, I am all that is trivia.
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Fuck, I'm so good at this last question for today, Hey, Jim, Yes.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: What state borders two oceans? America state? What US state
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: borders two oceans? Do you know that's one? Jacob, I
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: believe I do. Yeah, Lord nope, I feel like it
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: does though. Is a good answer.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: The Gulf of America is not an ocean? Well it
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: It used to be Gulf of Mexico.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Now you change it.
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: And the other one, the one that is on all
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: the beer commercials, that's it.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: It's gonna be Alaska, right it is?
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Alaska is always the weird one.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: Any weird one, it's always allowed. That's always as Pacific
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: and arc Arctic ocean. Hmm. Yeah.
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, anybody asked you a weird state question, it's always
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: a life just.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: Default to alask Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna give myself a
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: point on that one.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: Anyway, like which state is like like according to furthest
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: West right right, or like furthest. East is technically Alaska
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: because on the other side of the Meridian, or like
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: something like it crosses through it or something like that.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's all it's all things like that. I
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: don't like any of this.
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: It's a it's witchcraft, and I don't Meridians not to
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: It's a word in witchcraft. Last question for today motivation.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Hello all, I'm writing regarding motivation and interest. Overall, I
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: have the most amazing life. I'm in my early thirties,
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: have a wonderful husband, career, house, and still get to
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: be a competitive athlete, which I know is rare for
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: adults on paper, and honestly, even if asked, I would
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: say I'm living my best life. However, I'm not even
• 58:59
  Speaker 2: sure how to expe this, but I kind of dread
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: doing my favorite things. For example, it takes all of
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: the will power to go and do the things that
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: I know are my favorites, such as participating in or
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: practicing my sport, hobbies, and hanging with friends. My brain
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: is constantly trying to come up with reasons I don't
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: have to and excuses to procrastinate or not go. This
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: happens all the way up until the point where I
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: start participating in whatever the thing is, and then all
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: of a sudden, I'm super happy to be there. Then,
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: let's say a few hours later, the thought of doing
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: it again and the next day or whenever once again
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: feels like a chore. This doesn't happen with chores, though
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: oddly enough, I have zero issue most of the time
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: and almost look forward to my weekly costco runs, morning workouts,
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: work and cooking. It seems like basic conditioning doesn't apply,
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: as it doesn't matter that I know I love these
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: things and always immensely enjoy myself. Once I start participating
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: in whatever it is, I've run through the thought experiment
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: of what it would be like if these things weren't
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: in my life anymore, and it was devastating. These are
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: the parts of me that make me me. I've considered it.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: I've considered if it's depressiony symptoms, but I haven't lost
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: interest in the things that bring me joy once I'm
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: doing them.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: It's amazing. This has basically been.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: Present in my life for my entire adult life, and
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: I'm wondering if it has something to do with novelty
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: being worn off, as things I once wished and dreamed
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: about are now my ordinary life. While this has always
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: been present in some respects, the Midwest winters make it worse.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: I've brought this up to a therapist in the past,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: and after determining that I don't want to have these
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: things out of my life, they kind of shrugged and
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: pushed it off. It feels really shitty on multiple levels
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: to dread what I know I love and work SLASH.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: Have worked so hard for.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: But I don't even know what this could be or
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: what to do about this if it makes a difference.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 2: I do have ADHD, and it is much worse on
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: the weekends or days when my medication five ANS has
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: worn off and I don't necessarily take it. I try
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: really hard not to take it more than needed to
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: prevent building up a tolerance any ideas all insight is
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: much appreciated. Pronouns are she and her hmmm.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: I can kind of relate to this a little bit.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: I just to play in a hockey league and we
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: would play Monday and Wednesday nights, m HM, and every
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: Monday and Wednesday, you know, as I'm wrapping up work
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, fuck, I got hockey tonight, right, Like
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: That's always how I felt. I always felt that way,
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: like yeh, God, damn it, I got it, and I'm like,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: why am I doing this? But then when I go there,
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: I go and I play and I have a great
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: time and I love it and it was amazing, So
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: glad I did it. But it never it never stopped
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: like the whole time, Like the league finally closed because
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: they sold the building, you know, but like that's the
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: only reason I'm not doing it today. But it was.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: It was just one of those things where it's like
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: I dreaded having to do it, and I think for me,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: it was just that, you know, I spent all day working, right,
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: and then I kind of look forward to doing nothing sometimes.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's part of it, the obligation. I feel
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: that way about pod therapy. Tell you, the truth, like,
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: I love the project. I'm so proud of it. I
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: love our community. I love talking to them all week long.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: But when you're when it's on your calendar and you know,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: we're discussing where we're going to fit in recording, you're
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: trying to get four adults with very busy lives to
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: figure it out, and like we're gonna pull it together.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: There's the script, there's the post production, and like there's
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: there's a dauntingness to it. And for me, I think
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: that there's an energy that goes along with performance and
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: maybe that's what hockey is and maybe that's what this
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: writer's talking about too, where it's a competitive sport that
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: they're doing that they're a professional or semi professional athlete,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: a competitive athlete. There's the sense of like, I have
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: to perform now, I have to sit down, I have
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: to read these questions and carefully. I have to try
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 2: to do my best at it. We have to you know,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: we're gonna try to be funny. There's a vibe shift
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: I'm going to participate in this. I love the project.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: It's a great hobby. I always love doing it. When
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: I'm doing it, always like, oh, this is great. I'm
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: seeing my friends, I'm having a really fun time. We
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: hang out socially. It's great and like I always enjoy it,
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: but I think there is this dread leading up to
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: something even that I love and I helped co found,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: because there's this sense of like obligation and performance that
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: goes along with it. I think that's a really relatable feeling.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering too, if the obligation piece and the ADHD
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: that's interesting kind of have something to are playing off
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: of each other.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not surprised, I mean, because especially when you think about,
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: like what ADHD meds are usually doing is waking up
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: this executive function of your brain. Who's the adult in
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: the house, right, and they're the ones like, all right, kids,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: it's time to go.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: Look at the clock. Let's get a move on it.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: And so like it's not surprising at all that whenever
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: that adult is allowed to sleep in on the weekend,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: the kid part of your brain is like do I have?
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: And it's like you love this?
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: What are you talking? Let's go put on your shoes.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: We're going a hike. You wanted to go on a hike.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: It's like I don't want to get out of the
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: bed and it's like, yeah, that's a pretty normal, you know,
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: human relatable experience to me, It's not that much of
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: a paradox. It's it's a very relatable concept, especially without
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: the meds.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm guessing that will probably be what's happening here
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: to some degree, Jacob.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: Is there anything in your life that you enjoy once
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: you are doing it, but you dread the whole way there.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: It's not dread the whole way there.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: I mean besides orgies, because I know orgies are a
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: lot of works.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: They are.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: They're exhausting. It's like who's bringing the nacho?
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: I mean when you talk about having to perform? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: And the orgies that Jacob goes to notoriously are also potlucks,
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: you know, so there's that whole extra piece of like
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: what did I sign up for?
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: Oh that's because they're not shows.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: That's exactly how that works. And consent is very that's
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 2: right at the orgy, That's right, Yeah, orgy pot.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: I get, I get. The where it happens to me
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: is on my calendar.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: I always have a very uh, daunting and overwhelming looking calendar. Yeah,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: and every now and then that'll just catch me. You're
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: meticulous about your calendar, because I'll forget everything right. If
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: it does get in the calendar, it won't get done.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 2: But then once it's in your calendar, I think I
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: noticed that you are a soldier to your calendar. I
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: have a calendar says you do this, and you're like, yep,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: that's why I'm gonna just do it.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: It's robotic.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: At that point, the thinking stage is passed.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: If it's on the calendar, it's the action stage, and
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: I'm doing it so you don't find yourself having to
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 2: overcome that last hurdle if I don't want to.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: I get the dread when I'm looking at the calendar
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 3: and seeing because my calendar is also basically my to
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: do list, and so I get the dread. That's that's
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: the stage of doing things where I get that dread.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: It's when you just stare at.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 3: It's I'm looking at the list and going like that's
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: a fucking list and I just added three more things
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: to it today, and I'm gonna add more things to
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: it tomorrow. Yeah, And like I'm gonna add three things
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: to it tomorrow and I'm only going to cross off
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: two things, and.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: This list isn't gonna go away, and this is my life.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's fair. This list is my entire life until
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: I die. You ever feel like that was working out? Nick?
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: I mean, like you know, you enjoy it. It's your passion.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: You've done all this extra thinking in it, professional training
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: in it. You give this now to other people, you
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: tutor them, but it is exertion, and like that's gotta
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 2: be something that There's days you're like, fuck me, I
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: don't want to do this.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, quite often, and it becomes a challenge because just
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: when you've got so many things happening. So like I've
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 1: got my nine to five job, right, I've got mental Fit,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: personal training dot Com, We've got the podcast. I still
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: want to keep up on my personal training, my fitness.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: I still have to work out right, golf, oh yeah,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: do you still play that? Yeah? That's not And then
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: there's the house, the new project, you know, which is
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: there's always something to do. And so now I'm constantly
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: anytime there's any openings in my calendar, I have to
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 1: make decisions. Right, Okay, I can work out, right, I
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: can go to the range and practice, or I've got
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: these this list of house projects that I need to
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: get done right and I'm gonna have to pick and
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: oftentimes and then yeah, then it just sucks because then
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: sometimes it feels like a weekend goes by in it
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 1: like this weekend that it eats at me because I
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: feel like I've wasted a weekend. I didn't get anything
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: done right. So there's just a bunch of shit that
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: was happening. Wasn't able to get it done, and yeah,
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: it's just very frustrating. So but yeah, I mean there's
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: so I had a little bit of time between this
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: recording and my personal training session in the morning, so
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: I did my personal training session, then I worked out,
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: and then I came here. Okay, so I was able
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: to get a little bit of a workout in. But
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: it seems like I just kind of have to squeeze
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: those in whenever I can find time.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that energy of like just feeling that last
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: barrier to do something that even though when you do it,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: you're pleased that you did it, Sure, but I do
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: think that there can be a little touch of that
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: sense of like if I'm gonna do it, I want
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 2: to do it well and I don't want to half asset,
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: and so there's the sense of like, am I sure
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: I have the energy and mindset to do it right now?
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: And I can see myself sometimes feeling like, oh, like
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: I do look forward to this, I want to do this,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: but it is the version of me right now going
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: to stand up to this challenge and a lot of deliver.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: A lot of times it depends on what that thing is,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: right because like for me, I agree like if I'm
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: going to do something, if it's a house project, I
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: want to be able to give it my full attention
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: right and do it and do it right, right right,
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: where as opposed to if it's just getting in some exercise, Yeah,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: all half ask that, okay, all quarter asset, yeah, yea,
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: I will eighth asset just to get something in because
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: you know, quarter ass is better than no ass yeah,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: as many philosophers. Sure that was Seneca Okay, yeah, yeah,
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: I remember that.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, ate that ass ate that whole ass one eight
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: of an ass I.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: Believe is what he said.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm with you on that, and writer, I
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: think that, like a, I do think that the ADHD
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: is an important component of this.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: I don't want to sleep on that.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: I think that is almost entirely what we expect the
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: vivants to do is to wake up an executive functioning
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: and allow you to focus. And I think the distractability
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: that comes along with adult ADHD is part of the
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: motivational de enhancement that a lot of people notice, and
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: they're always perplexed by it and like, golly, why can't
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: I follow through on these things? I care about these things.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: I've made promises on these things. I've made commitments on
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: these things. I logically add up why these things matter,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: and yet they do not get done. And it's like, yeah,
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: that's why we medicate this, you know, like that's part
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: of this, So it doesn't kind of matter that you
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: enjoy these things. I think the reality of ADHD is
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: often going to, you know, kmfuzzle your brain and you're
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: just not going to find that you're a very straight
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: arrow on these things.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: You're not going to have that follow through.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: But I think another component of it is when we're
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: talking about things that you enjoy but are somewhat performance based,
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: that there's a sense of like I want to do
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 2: it well, or there's going to be witnesses to it,
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: or it's competitive component.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: I relate to that.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: I think that there's something about that that makes a
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: person just feel this heaviness in their spirit, and then
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: once they do it, they love it.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: After we record the show, I'm always like, that was great,
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: best show we've ever done. Love that we do this,
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: proud of this project.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: This is great.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: But sure, you know, day of it's like, oh boy,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: I have to do this. You know, I have to
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: go do this today. I hope I do it well.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: Am I in the right headspace? And you know immediately
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: that washes away.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: So I think it's interesting too that it doesn't happen
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: for chores.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that is interesting and which I feel like you
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: can't be greted on, right, I feel like those are
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: robotic tasks.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's what I'm off the list. That's what I
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: was thinking to my relief, you know, because if household
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: chores like my every week, I do the floors, I'll
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: vacuum and then I'll mop right, And for me, that's
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: kind of like I kind of look forward to that honestly,
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: because it's mindless. Yeah, it is mindless. I just I
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 1: just I can just be a zombie and just move
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: the vacuum forward. You like that's like that ship for
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: whatever reason, is just it helps me.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: I love it when a task falls on my list
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: that I do not have to think about at all
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: and it's going to take like an hour. It's just
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: so it's like, Okay, I need you to drive across
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: town and go drop this thing off and pick up
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: this thing and bring it back. And I'm like, this
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: is the best. Like I'm looking forward to this because
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: I can't screw this up and I don't.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: Have to think it. Ah, believe in yourself a little bit. Yeah, okay,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: there's always believe you could screw it. It's always away. Yeah, thanks, buddy,
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you. I got you, buddy. There's always nice.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: My wings mowing the lawn too, Like I had some
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: big yards back in Iowa, and so a riding lawnmower
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: that's going to take forty five minutes where you can
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: just like oh, I could just sit and drive this
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: little tractor around and drink beer for forty five minute
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: and just can tune the world out. Yeah, sign me up,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: sign me up. Yeah. I like that too.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: So writer, I think it's a very relatable concept. I
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 2: think a lot of us, you know, struggle with motivation
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: at all times, and you know what, zooming out and
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: giving yourself permission to say, wow, despite a struggle with motivation,
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: I'm still a highly accomplished person. I'm getting a lot
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: of things done. I've checked off a lot of things
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: in my list. I fill my week with a lot
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: of things. There's always going to be a what didn't
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 2: get done portion of your life that if you're not careful,
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: you can stare at that half glass or glass half
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: empty concept and you can just constantly tell yourself that
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: you're not enough. I personally struggle with that all the
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: time because there's always ten things that didn't get any
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: attention this week, and instead I routed my energy into
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 2: other areas. And I have to zoom out sometimes and
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: look at the to do list. Do you ever, Jacob,
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: look back at last week's calendar or look back over
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: a month. No, and just take that beat to say, wow, man,
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 2: I'm actually I'm a busy guy, like I get a
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: lot of things done.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: No, Okay, it's because I mean I should arrived. Man,
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: you don't need that.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 3: Maybe I should, Maybe it would make me feel better
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 3: about it. Uh yeah, I mean I don't have to
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 3: look back on it to know that I'm busy.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: This is true. I'm just being busy. Yeah, I know
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: I'm busy. I got that bart. Yeah.
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: Also, if you do sign up for the pot luck
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 2: at the orgy, I'm a big fan of individually wrapped items.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 2: You know, Caprice Son be the Caprice Sun guy. Everybody's
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: gonna want the juice break, you know.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: For me, it's always Tater top cast role. See, I
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: don't like the community bowl. I just I don't.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: I get that we're all swapping fluids, but I don't
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: like it with spoons.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: And you know I never bring spoons.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's all finger food. It's all finger finger You
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: ever have finger cast role finger foods at the orgy?
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: That's why the only thing I wear at the orgy
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: is a bib. Oh Christ, all right, we're gonna take
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: quick break when we come back. We're ending the show
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: probably forever you're listening to pod Therapy. Today's episode is
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: brought to you by Smitty Scoop, Mason Miller, Test Miller, Biler, Tea,
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: Paris te Monico, Oscar slanros Anna, Marie Emiganemira and Sam Cone.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: Would you like to sponsor the show become a therapistus
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slaslash Therapy. Last trivia questions, right, we
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: just all agree? I went sure, yes, Sure.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: As we wrap up the show, I want to remind
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: you you can sign up a patreon dot com slash
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: therapy and get our extended show ad free a day earlier,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 2: as well as enjoy our live chat discord community and
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: our sporadic deep dives, interviews, skill shares, research roundups and rants.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: I have been furiously writing and generating new content to
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: go along with my AI series, and so check it
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 2: out because I'm up to I think ten episodes now
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: and I've got thirteen written and really excited to keep
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: rolling these out. I have a lot of interesting stuff
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: that I've been thinking on and exploring with a lot
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: of folks online. So check it out patreon dot com
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: slash Therapy. You'll also find a nine year chalked full
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: library of interviews and deep dives and news and research
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: and in all sorts of really cool things. A lot
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: of skills that we've unpacked as therapists and said, hey,
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: you know, here's us walking you through this particular way
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: with attachments and exercises that you can do on your
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: own patreon dot com slash Therapy, who is new to
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: the therap party.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: There, Nick, we got a new therapal. Welcome when Enden
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: who looks like Iden, Welcome when Iden Nice?
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no worries professional podcast and would like to think
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 2: the benevolent, revered, generous, and flagrantly pro Therapy Diehard who
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: loves you all so much they give till it hurts
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: our therap partner Pickett tic it. And we want to
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: specially think the bosses, the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati, members
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: of the fan club, the therap producers. Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra,
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: the Notorious Wonderful One, Bald, Robert Brownie, Junior Mints soon
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: to be bionically enhanced with that bluetooth speaker, Smitty Scoop,
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: Richard Fucking Macy, Judy Schneider, Malia, Leon cassab Carolyn Albert,
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: Kevin Chamberlain, Tess Miller, Dan Martin, Sammy Scoop, Slurpi Kai Motherfucker,
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: Ben Stanley, slapping your face, Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, biler Tea,
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: Mike helm Oscar Swan ros paris A Sunny Boy, Darren Cunningham,
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 2: lib Oscart Nope, Sandra mcwaffle, Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar, Falcon Scoop, Heyo, Hannah,
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: Marie Andrew Langmead, Emma Tonka and Pony Soprano, Alina Brady,
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: Malichik Chick fil Atio Gabriela Dame, Sean Sutherland, Max the
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: Ginger Scoop, Chad mag Adam Warren, Inkle of Prince, Sam Cone,
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: Bigay do crimes, eli odare Not, Kia Knightley and Amy Ardvark.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: And if you would like to do this episode uncut
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: in unedited and wow, I wouldn't get and enjoy our
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: sponsaneous side projects, go to patreon dot com slash therapy
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: and thank you for supporting mental health. That's all the
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: time we got for this week session.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: I want to thank our landlords, Matt Maddenley's ice Cream
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 2: Social Podcast, Slash es Jay in the Ruckus Cooy Pond
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: Scenic Studios, and thanks to those of you who contributed
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 2: to our show today.
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: We really appreciate it.
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 5: Remember, pot therapy isn't something you should keep all of
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 5: yourself shitty episode with the world tag us on the
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 5: socialist way you do It's at pot Therapy. Guys on
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 5: Instagram has a Twitter and slash pot therapy on.
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: Facebook, and don't forget all the extra goodies at patuon
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: dot com slash therapy. You Kim submit a question to
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 1: the show. You can ask anonymously at pod therapy dot mat,
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: email us at pod therapy guys at gmail dot com,
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: or click the link in the episode description has be
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: taken into our anonymously perform. I'm Jim. Thanks someone see
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: you for your appointment next week.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to hear about the Bluetooth bionic speaker ball.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: I think that's gonna be a game changer.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: Oh. Yes, only goes in good directions.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 2: Good luck, buddy. You're rooting for you in our thoughts.
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: Keep us in the loop. Okay, you're gonna get a
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: shing to Jacob. You're getting a call on your nuts.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: Do you do you have to swipe to answer. It's
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: a it's a tap. Goodbye, everybody,