Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Are you sure the baby's yours?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Are you sure the baby's yours? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Stop.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Stop what you're doing.
• 0:02
  Speaker 3: Here is another world famous.
• 0:05
  Speaker 4: Prank call from Darren Wackhead Simpson. Exclusive to KFM Mornings. Okay,
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: throwback Thursday prank today. Here we go. So this is.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: This couple, not married, but engaged. So they've got a baby.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: So on the medical aid, it's different surnames, right? It's
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: obviously their actual surnames, not post-marriage surnames. So there's some
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: bills in question that are coming through on the medical
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: aid with regards to their daughter and the birth.
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: And all this sort of stuff.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: So it's on the wife, the fiancé lady is the
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: principal member of, So now there's a few questions from
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: medical aid. Not about paternity. I take it there. Okay.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: It's just about... Because that would be weird from there.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Of course you do. No, it's like, you know what?
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: It's the typical, okay, so this surgeon charges above medical
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: aid rates and all these sorts of extras and what, what, what.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to grind his gears with the full
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: buy-in from the fiancé.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Okay, about baby.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: He's already been on the phone trying to plead his
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: case quite a few times. And he's been speaking to
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: a gentleman called Mashlozi. So I'm calling back. Now, did
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you send him a text message?
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: I did.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I told him that the medical aid friends are asking
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: a whole bunch of questions. They're doing investigation. Some payments
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: have been popped around, and he just needs to answer
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: the phone when medical aid phones him and sorts it out.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: He was quite upset.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Okay, naka. Hopefully I can push him over the edge.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: I'm sure you will.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: Okay, hold on right there.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: Shoot. Michael, g'day.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Hello, Mr. Powell.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Hi, it's Mahlozi here. I'm calling you from Zembriskaps. Are
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: you busy?
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: No, I'm not sweet to speak now.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I was trying to talk to the principal member here.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Yes, my fiancé.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yes.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: About the bills. Yes.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, now the problem is that it's not going to be,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: it looks like we're going to cover.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: The entire amount.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: Reason being?
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Because there's two different names here on the card.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: There's a A Powell and a Jacobs, yeah.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Okay, so what's the problem with that being, what's the
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: issue of that?
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  Speaker 4: So what's the connection between the Powell and the Jacobs?
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm Powell, I'm her fiancé.
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  Speaker 4: You're not married.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Why is that a problem?
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  Speaker 1: We can't, how, are you sure the baby's yours? Are
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: you sure the baby's yours?
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Am I sure the baby is mine? Are you f * * *
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: ing joking me? Are you like f * * *
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: ing out of your mind here, my friend? Eh? How
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: can you ask me if the f * * *
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: ing baby is mine? How can you ask that? Do
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: you know me? Do you know my fiancé? Does she
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: sleep around? No, she doesn't. So who gives you the
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: right to ask such a question? Am I sure the
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: baby is mine? Of course the f * * *
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: ing baby is mine, my friend.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: You can never be too sure, though, that's what I'm saying.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Does the baby look like you?
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Where is your office? Let me bring my daughter there
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: so you can see that she resembles me, okay? And
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: then I can rearrange your face so that you don't
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: look like anything.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: How can you be so sure that this Aunt Juanette
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Jacobs was not with some other guy?
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Oh, trust me, my friend, I'm very sure. I'm very,
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: very sure.
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: Has she been in your sight for all times?
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, she has been in my sight. Not all times.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Not all times. I'm not a predictive husband. She wants
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: to go, she can go.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Ah, you see.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: But trust me, my friend, she is not... A woman
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  Speaker 3: like your wife, it will just run around with any
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: other man.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: There's been many times.
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  Speaker 3: Stop talking about whose baby is whose. Let's speak of
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: how we're going to resolve this issue.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, we can only resolve this issue once paternity is established.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: Okay, so tell me where I must go for DNA test.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: You must go to the sewage farm for a DNA test.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: They'll find a close match there, judging by what comes
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: out your mouth.
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  Speaker 3: My friend. Where's your offices? Let me come show you
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: what the.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: * * * *.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Does to you, my friend.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: What's it going to do to me?
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Give me your address. I won't tell you. I'll come
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: and show you. I'll personally come and show you what
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: happens when you look for.
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: * * * *, my friend. Tell me now on
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: the phone.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Don't worry what I'm going to do.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: You're a big guy.
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  Speaker 3: Worry on what your medical charges will be and what
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: the medical aid will cover, okay, on you once I
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: am finished with you. That is what you should be
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: worrying about now.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe you should worry about making an honest woman out
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  Speaker 1: of this girl that you're claiming. Maybe that should be
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: a priority for you.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: Maybe a good suggestion for you. Build a mind. Because
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: at the moment, my daughter is 10 weeks old and
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: she's probably five times more intelligent than you, my friend.
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: It's not your daughter. Don't say that. It's not yours.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: I said it.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: That's amazing.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Well, at least he's sticking up for me, I guess, hey?
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Michael, g'day.
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: Matlozzi here.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yes, Matlozzi.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: Not Matsozzi, it's Matlozzi.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Matlozzi.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: Let me ask you a question now.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Does the baby look like you, though?
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: Do you, like, have the same nose, the same toes?
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: No, we don't. We don't have the same nose and
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: the same toes. Unfortunately, her nose and her toes are
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: a lot smaller than mine.
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: What colour hair has she got?
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: She's got brown hair.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: Your hair?
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  Speaker 3: Blonde.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Your mother's hair? Brown. Sorry for you, my friend.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Was this a planned pregnancy? Or was this just another
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Saturday night bang in the toilets at Presley's? Oh. Oh.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: And your child, let's ask you that question. Your child,
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: does it look like you?
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: You're not the father. You see, that's what I'm saying.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Does your child look like you?
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: So your son looks like you?
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: People look at me and they say, hey, that's my
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: flossy number two.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: They look at my.
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  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: They look at.
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  Speaker 3: And how old is your son?
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: My son, he's now two and a half.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: Two and a half?
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: They go, hey, there's... Darren Wackett Simpson.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I thought.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: It was you, you bastard. I thought so. I caught
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: you out because you said you do have a son
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: and he's two and a half years old.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: Bro, I've got Antoinette on the line as well.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to walk to the back of my
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: shop and I'm going to go find her myself as well.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Is she at the shop?
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Yes, we work together, unfortunately. And this is going to
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: be a very awkward drive home for her.
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: Oh, dude, go find her.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Let me see. That's what I'm trying to do.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: Okay, just play a little Marco Polo.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Polo!
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Polo! Marco. Oh, there we go. I found it.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Don't worry. I'm going to have a nice word with her.
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Thanks for that. Yes, you upset me big time with.
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: Awesome. Now go and get that paternity test, all right?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: I'm definitely going to do so now that we're not
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: the same age.
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know what? Because I've heard a few things
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: about Antoinette.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you can never be too sure.
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: Cool couple.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: The fact that he entertained that conversation for that long.
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: There's nothing reasonable about this chat.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It's Dua Lipa training season here on KFM Mornings. Okay,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: we've got some messages from the prank this morning.
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: Darren, that was evil, evil, evil. Shame on the poor man.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: But he, I must say.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: At first he kept his cool, he kept his cool,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: and then the French came out.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: Good one, Darren, good one. My blood pressure would have
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: also reached the sky. This is so funny, this guy
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: doesn't even know what to say. Was this another night
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: in the twin? The mother's hair was brown, Darren.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Ha ha!
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: He got you. That was evil. That was very evil. No,
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: you pressed all of the buttons. Good guy.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Now I'm not only insulting him, I'm also insulting his fiancé. Okay,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: it's time for your news and your sports right after
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: this break.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: Good morning. KFM Mornings with Darren, Sherlyn, Sibs and you.