Latest / The Hypnotist / Hypnosis to Overcome Perfectionism and Fear of Judgement When Presenting
Transcript
- 0:05Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
- 0:09access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
- 0:12genuine. Issues.
- 0:13Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
- 0:16celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
- 0:21recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
- 0:24famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
- 0:31enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
- 0:38Hi, it's Adam here. Now, if you feel anxious when
- 0:41presenting or in situations where you feel like you might be
- 0:45judged, this session might be the one for you.
- 0:48Now, I was working with a client that was very successful in
- 0:51business. They created a business in the
- 0:54early days of COVID and it thrived and it flourished.
- 0:57And now they were leading a fast growing company.
- 1:02But with that came a bit of imposter syndrome, a feeling
- 1:05that they had to be perfect, a feeling that they could be
- 1:07judged in certain situations and they didn't want to feel that
- 1:11way. So what this session does is it
- 1:13creates A hypnosis session to feel what it would feel like to
- 1:18really tap into a feeling of playfulness and relaxation and
- 1:23inspiration rather than pressure and judgement.
- 1:27And it uses. Regression to find memories
- 1:29where they felt. That way it uses future pacing
- 1:32from a disassociated perspective, so they get to see
- 1:36themselves doing well. And it also uses a celebrity
- 1:39role model. They had a particular person in
- 1:42mind that they felt that that person embodied.
- 1:45The ability to confidently and calmly present their thoughts in
- 1:49a way where they didn't really feel the pressure.
- 1:52They didn't have to be perfect. They didn't have to have all the
- 1:55words. So it uses that element to
- 1:58harness their resources as a blueprint.
- 2:01And a lot of people will use the ACT as if frame and that's OK.
- 2:05But it's much better to find a role model that is already doing
- 2:08it the way that you want. And that role model could be you
- 2:11in a different context. It could be you in a different
- 2:14time, or it could be someone that you already perceive has
- 2:18the resources that would be useful for you.
- 2:20Now, if you feel anxious around presenting, that's quite
- 2:25natural. But equally, what's also natural
- 2:27is but it can feel fun and inspiring to kind of share what
- 2:32you want. And the key to this is that
- 2:35being authentic is a superpower. And you've had this, you know, I
- 2:41guarantee it. You've seen infomercials or
- 2:44commercials where someone's trying to present or sell
- 2:47something to you and they're a bit too slick and it looks very
- 2:51disingenuous. But equally, you might have
- 2:55friend or family member that is just openly talked about
- 2:59something from a really genuine place and that feels way more
- 3:03influential to you than this slick presentation.
- 3:06So authenticity and connection is more important than
- 3:11perfection. And these are the kind of belief
- 3:13systems that we actually put in this session.
- 3:17And I think sometimes if you put yourself on a pedestal where you
- 3:21have to meet a high standard or you're going to be judged
- 3:24harshly and most of the judgement is coming from
- 3:25yourself, paradoxically, that creates the pressure to increase
- 3:30the probability of mistakes, which then leads to more
- 3:32criticism, which can then lead to more anxiety.
- 3:35And how you break that pattern is that you give yourself
- 3:38permission to just be yourself, to present what you want to say
- 3:42in the way that you want to say it.
- 3:43And in doing so, that high stakes environment becomes a low
- 3:47stakes environment. And when it's a low stakes
- 3:49environment, you increase the probability that you come across
- 3:53in a calm, confident way. It's called the law of reverse
- 3:56effect, that sometimes in certain areas, the more you try
- 4:00and make it better, the more stressful, pressured and anxious
- 4:04you feel and the worse you get. And sometimes it's actually a
- 4:07really good idea to do less, Less preparation, less
- 4:12judgement, less expectations, and just go with the flow.
- 4:15And generally when you do that, you tend to be better that when
- 4:19you're kind of putting a gun to your head and saying it has to
- 4:21be perfect. Most people aren't going to form
- 4:24best perform best in that situation.
- 4:27If any of these ideas resonate, you're going to get some value
- 4:31from this session. Equally, it was created for an
- 4:33individual. They had a yearly what kind of
- 4:37objectives they were sharing with their team.
- 4:39There's certain things that would have been relevant for
- 4:41them that don't really apply to you, so just disregard any
- 4:44suggestions that aren't quite right.
- 4:45And if you do like the idea of a personal one to one session with
- 4:48me, have a look in the description.
- 4:50You'll see things like prices and packages, but also a free
- 4:53consultation call that you can schedule if you desire to do
- 4:56that. For now though, find a quiet,
- 4:58comfortable place where you won't be distracted or
- 5:00disturbed. Relax and enjoy the session.
- 5:18Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, breathe in that
- 5:27feeling of relaxation and calm, and as you exhale, consider it a
- 5:39release valve of any stress, any worry, any tension, just feeling
- 5:51it leave your body in your outward breath.
- 5:58When you breathe in, feel like you're breathing in.
- 6:04Permission to be yourself. No need to be perfect, no need
- 6:12to be flawless. Just permission to be you, with
- 6:20your experiences, your knowledge, everything that makes
- 6:27you you. And if you're breathing in
- 6:33permission to be authentic, as you exhale or release any
- 6:42standards that are not meant for you, any narratives, any labels,
- 6:54anything that you would prefix with the word should, they're
- 6:59not for you. So as you exhale, just release
- 7:04them. And maybe you can think of a few
- 7:08of those shoulds you should know more.
- 7:13You should have all the answers and just consider them something
- 7:21that is unnecessary. And when you turn the word
- 7:27should into could, it turns pressure into possibility.
- 7:36You could have some answers. You could prepare more, but
- 7:43notice how light that word feels.
- 7:48No feeling of judgement, pressure, expectation.
- 7:53So release all of those shoulds in your outward breath and
- 7:58breathe in permission to just be who you are, as you accept that
- 8:06who you are has got you this far further than most could ever
- 8:12dream of. And therefore, what if as you
- 8:18are is more than enough? And as you breathe in and
- 8:27breathe out, notice tensions start to dissolve, maybe around
- 8:34the forehead, the jaw, the neck or the shoulders.
- 8:40And the deeper you breathe, the more relaxed you feel.
- 8:47And the more relaxed you feel, the deeper you breathe, enabling
- 8:55you to drift deeper down to a place of pure relaxation.
- 9:09And I don't want you to realize how easy it is to release any
- 9:13emotion. All it takes is a long outward
- 9:19breath. So let's try it.
- 9:22Now just imagine breathing out two or three times as long as
- 9:32you normally would. Continue and elongate the
- 9:37outward breath as if you're fogging a mirror until there's
- 9:46nothing left in your lungs. And notice how easy it is to
- 9:49breathe in deeply, deep from the diaphragm, effortlessly, and
- 9:56then a second long breath out, even slower this time, allowing
- 10:02the shoulders to drop, the jaw to loosen, and those tiny
- 10:08muscles in your chest to relax and soften.
- 10:15And you may notice that just two outward breaths are enough to
- 10:22release old echoes of tension, old habits of holding, old
- 10:29reflexes of self judgement. And here there's nothing to fix
- 10:37and no need to be perfect. Just allow your body to remember
- 10:45and connect without feeling of being calm and composed.
- 10:54And as your breathing continues naturally, you may notice the
- 10:59difference between thinking about being calm and simply
- 11:07being present. Perfection lives in the future,
- 11:16and judgement lives in the imagination of thinking what
- 11:20other people may think. But when you're in the moment,
- 11:26mindfully present, you just exist in that moment.
- 11:35And you can do that with a touch of a texture, a slow breath, a
- 11:43sip of water, anything at all that involves your senses.
- 11:50And each time your attention returns to the body, your feet,
- 11:56your breath, your posture, what if that's the gateway to step
- 12:03out of any self judgement or fear of judgement and into a
- 12:10state, a state of authenticity connected to yourself in this
- 12:22moment now. Because somewhere inside you
- 12:28realize something important. You were never meant to be
- 12:34perfect. You were just meant to be you.
- 12:41Perfection creates distance and pressure.
- 12:46Authenticity creates connection. And as you think of the people
- 12:53you lead, they don't need or want a flawless performance.
- 13:02They need and want you as you are, real, present, human,
- 13:11grounded. And the moment you release the
- 13:16need to impress, your influence naturally increases.
- 13:26And I wonder if you could imagine seeing yourself standing
- 13:31in front of your team. Notice your posture, upright yet
- 13:38relaxed. Notice the position of your
- 13:43shoulders. Maybe they're relaxed and open,
- 13:48the way you breathe. Natural.
- 13:54You gesture when it feels right, and the smile is natural, not
- 13:59forced. And as you observe that version
- 14:04of you, notice how your voice projects clearly.
- 14:11Not rushed, not tight, just steady and warm.
- 14:18And notice how that version of you is comfortable with pauses,
- 14:26allowing words to take root. It's impossible to inspire
- 14:35without allowing words to be understood.
- 14:42And that understanding to shift thoughts of the future.
- 14:49Silence doesn't threaten you. Silence supports you.
- 14:59Silence signals confidence. Not something you need to think
- 15:06about, but just know that if you need a moment to compose
- 15:14yourself, understand something, it's completely OK.
- 15:26And notice this version of you, that even if there is a a
- 15:33flicker, an echo of tension, that version of you just quietly
- 15:42has 2 long outward breaths. And notice how quickly the body
- 15:51settles, the mind clears, and your presence deepens.
- 15:59Those two long outward breaths anchors you into the moment, not
- 16:05the future, not the past. A sense of presence, a quiet
- 16:11reset, a private stabilizer. And nobody knows but you.
- 16:18And I want you to imagine something surreal.
- 16:27Imagine a celebrity that you admire for being confident.
- 16:35Imagine they are doing your upcoming presentation.
- 16:45See how they prepare, what they do before, how relaxed they
- 16:52seem, and see when they begin to talk, how they hold eye contact,
- 17:03the gestures, the smiles, how comfortable they seem in their
- 17:09own skin. Notice how relaxed they are, how
- 17:19comfortable they are being seen and as you observe from a
- 17:26distance, you connect with an idea.
- 17:34Confidence isn't something they try to do, it's something they
- 17:39allow. And by being authentic, they
- 17:46allow it. And I want you to imagine what
- 17:50it would feel like they swap places with you and you with
- 17:55them, and imagine what it would feel like to have all of that
- 18:01confidence, relaxation, to start that presentation and see your
- 18:10team through their eyes and feel through their body.
- 18:18Notice the weight distribution in the feet, the openness in the
- 18:22chest, the deep breathing, the calm behind the eyes.
- 18:29And just feel what it's like to speak without second guessing,
- 18:35to pause without apology, to lead without effort.
- 18:44Imagine being inspiring, but through the lens of reality.
- 18:53I want you to get a sense that you are like your message.
- 19:02It doesn't need to be perfect in order for it to be valuable.
- 19:09And maybe something shifts now in the very near future, I want
- 19:17you to get a sense that you have this capability.
- 19:25You have had it before. It's actually your natural
- 19:30state. Anxiety was the blip.
- 19:37The trend is that when you're fully present, authentic and
- 19:44connected to a message, a meaning you naturally
- 19:50communicate from a place of passion, authenticity,
- 19:58inspiration becomes a side effect.
- 20:05And then imagine. Imagine for some reason there is
- 20:11a full length mirror there at the front of that team.
- 20:18And as you look in the mirror, you're not in the body of that
- 20:23inspiring celebrity, you're in your body.
- 20:30I want you to get a feeling that this confidence isn't borrowed,
- 20:36it's yours. This authenticity isn't pretend,
- 20:41it's yours. And from this place, liberate
- 20:48yourself from the pressure of expectations, judgement and
- 20:53perfection. There is no need to be perfect
- 20:59to communicate clearly. There is no need to control
- 21:05every word to be respected. Your message carries weight
- 21:13because it's genuine. I want you to imagine reliving
- 21:23those first few moments. Each time feels more and more
- 21:26comfortable, more natural, more authentic.
- 21:34And as you imagine connecting your message, your goals, your
- 21:38vision with the team, they feel your intention, they feel your
- 21:46clarity. They connect more with you being
- 21:51real than the version of you feeling that you have to live up
- 21:59to an imaginary standard that doesn't exist and never did.
- 22:09And now imagine a future. A future where you're presenting
- 22:15to your team, or perhaps giving feedback to just one individual.
- 22:23Maybe it's a big presentation, or maybe just a weekly roundup.
- 22:31You'd see yourself calm, present, composed, authentic,
- 22:41and notice how that version of you seems natural, speaking from
- 22:49conviction rather than caution. And just notice how others
- 22:55respond to that version of you. Attention dialed up, trust,
- 23:03respect dialed up. The paradox is that when you
- 23:10care a little less what people think, those evaluations tend to
- 23:17improve anyway. Because people connect with
- 23:23people, not perfection. And as this experience settles
- 23:31into you, your unconscious mind keeps what's useful.
- 23:37The calm, the confidence, the authenticity.
- 23:42And gently let's go of perfectionism, fear of
- 23:47judgement, and any unnecessary pressure.
- 23:55From now on, you don't perform leadership, you align and
- 24:01connect with it. And that moment you saw yourself
- 24:08authentic and natural, Rewind it, step into it and feel how it
- 24:14would feel. To embody that feeling of being
- 24:19natural, authentic, confident, calm and composed.
- 24:26You don't need permission, and you're free from the fear of
- 24:31judgement. If someone judges you for being
- 24:35you, you're OK with that. And that's what liberates you.
- 24:41And when your unconscious mind is connected, those resourceful
- 24:48feelings to the present and the future, let me know by nodding
- 24:53your head. That's it.
- 25:00So it's time to drift back now to the present, leaving any fear
- 25:05of judgement and perfectionism behind.
- 25:08Now that's your past and really connecting with what is real and
- 25:14what is useful. So take a deep breath in through
- 25:18your nose and out through your nose.
- 25:22Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate into
- 25:27the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
- 25:33awaken you. Starting to count 123 waking up
- 25:40456 more alert 7-8. Open your eyes.
- 25:44Open your eyes 910 Wide awake, Wide awake.
- 25:49Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
- 26:00on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
- 26:02If you've enjoyed this episode or got some value from it,
- 26:06please give it a five star rating and.
- 26:09Review. And maybe you know someone that
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- 26:19too. And if you would like to listen
- 26:22to this episode where it's just the hypnosis, so no intro, no
- 26:27outro, no explanation, just the hypnosis and completely ad free,
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- 26:40So if that's of interest, please check that.
- 26:42Out Thank you. Again for being a regular
- 26:45listener of the hypnotist and I'll see you again soon for
- 26:49more.