Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Finding Joy Again | a conversation with Tracie Miles

Transcript

Finding Joy Again | a conversation with Tracie Miles · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:07
SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome back to the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: And if you are new here, I'm so glad you joined us.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Here at Simply Wholehearted, we are sharing our journey as we discover better how to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: And even though you might be surrounded by a world of half-heartedness, we hope to inspire you to living wholeheartedly as our friends share their stories and simple ideas of how they practice reach over perfection in their everyday.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: Today's conversation is with Tracy Miles, whom you may have heard before.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: She has been a longtime Proverbs 31 speaker and teacher.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: She is also close friends with our guest just a few weeks back, Wendy Pope.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Tracy experienced an earth-shattering heartbreak when her husband of 26 years was ready to end their marriage.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: She wasn't sure if she could ever love her life again.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: So many dreams of the future felt like they were gone after a long, painful end of what she had treasured.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: She's really lived out the message to her newest book about finding joy when life is hard.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: And I'm excited to have you learn more about her today.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, we're really informal around here.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: I didn't really give you a heads up.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how much.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Um are you working with Karen and Jeannie or just Karen now?
1:24
SPEAKER_00: Um for publicists.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh, just Karen.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay, great.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: I think for some reason maybe Jeannie sent me your book first, and then then maybe I got it again from Karen, and I was like, oh, we already scheduled her like months ago.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: So we're good.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: I was really excited to get it.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Karen's the only one I've I've communicated with, so that but they might be working together.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Yes, they they do work together.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: That's what I gather anyway.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: I know I don't know how it all works and all that sort of stuff.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: We did a publicist interview at last year sometime, um, a friend um who helped my other friend launch a book.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: And anyway, it was just fascinating.
1:59
SPEAKER_00: She let us, you know, interview the whole process because I think that us um, you know, people who buy a book have no idea the amount of work.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: The amount of people I'm working on my project right now too, and I'm just like, I'm on my third rewrite, and I'm like, no, no one could ever understand how much I put into this.
2:22
SPEAKER_01: I know.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: So many times.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Actually, the not this book, but the one I published last year, I wrote twice.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: Because I wrote one and then that wasn't exactly where it should be, and I had to start completely over.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's amazing.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: And as soon as that was done, I had to start this one.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, tell us a little bit of that process.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: How did you like, how did you grapple with that?
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm like just and seriously, that's where I'm at of like, okay, Lord, is this gonna be once again a complete like we're gonna have to scratch it and start over again?
2:55
SPEAKER_00: Like, can you give me some sort of guarantee?
2:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, the book came out.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there you go.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: But I was in a lot better placed um just personally and emotionally when I had to write it a second time.
3:07
SPEAKER_01: So now going back and reading that first one, I'm like, I'm so glad that's not the one.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, because it's I mean, there's not a word in the unsinkable faith that is the same, really, as the first draft.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: But it it just came together, it'll come together.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's good.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: I know.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: I took great comfort in reading Anne Lamont's book, Bird by Bird, and her um uh phraseology about the first draft.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, okay, that's good to know.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, even you experienced that.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: So anyway, well, I am loving your new book, and let's see.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: It came out, what was it, August 1st?
3:43
SPEAKER_00: 1st.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay, great.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: I was trying to remember.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, I I honestly like I saw your name on it.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: I've heard you speak with Proverbs 31 and Compel and just all that different stuff, and so I was familiar with your name.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, but um anyway, I didn't know what I was gonna get into when I dove into it.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: Looked good, and then I and I started reading, I was like, this is really good.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank you.
4:07
SPEAKER_00: I really um I mean you share your story throughout it, um, and I I appreciate how you kind of um it's like you know, you like most books, right?
4:17
SPEAKER_00: We base them on our lives, our story, what the Lord is teaching.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: Um and just how you wove that in um really, really well and um kind of taking us on a journey.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And also even though it was kind of your experience and your story, it also allowed us as the reader to identify with our unique situations that we were going through.
4:39
SPEAKER_01: So I thought that's good, that's good feedback.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: So you had talked about you um what was your last book that you did that you said, or it was Unseekable Faith.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Faith.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: So you spoke on you wrote on faith, and then this is really more the theme is joy.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: Um had you intended this book, like did you see this one a long time coming, or did it just spring up as you were writing about faith?
5:06
SPEAKER_01: It just kind of happened.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there was absolutely no plan.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: Um, when I signed the two-book contract, life was completely different.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: Um, and this whole situation happened just a few months after signing that contract.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: So these two books just are a total God thing because I had no titles, I really didn't have a topic in mind.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, I had given some suggestions and things, but it definitely evolved over the last couple years.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, wow.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, in the thick of a really tough season.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, this is beautiful fruit, and it just shows you drawing near to the Lord through it all.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: So it's really beautiful.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: I what we're talking about here with Simply Wholehearted is how to live wholeheartedly in all seasons of life and what does that look like?
5:53
SPEAKER_00: And I we have you know a few different ideas of what that um really the heart position is in that, and then uh if we really believe that it's our heart position and then the actions that follow.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: It's not about doing something that equals wholehearted living, it's just the fruit of um where our hearts are at.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: So um, for you, it obviously looks like ministry and writing and speaking and all the things.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: So, just what's your journey been in that?
6:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, I started um working with Proverbs, just kind of I left the corporate world and decided I wanted to do something else.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: And um God just really opened some doors for me there.
6:34
SPEAKER_01: So I had been working in ministry on the speaker and writer teams for Proverbs for since 2006.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: Okay, and for five straight years at our She Speaks conference, I pitched book proposals and I did because I really felt like that's what I wanted to do.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: And but I came to a point to where I said, okay, I'm if God's not opening this door, then you know, then I'm not gonna kind of just laid it down for a little while.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: And um just out of the blue, I got an email and a phone call from an a new agent that had gone to an agency where I had formerly submitted something.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: She basically found my old proposal in the drawer and called and said, Are you still wanting to publish this book?
7:16
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yes.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: And it was just completely a God thing.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: And then within a year, that person had moved on to something else.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: So it's like she came in, this happened, then she left.
7:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm still with the same literary agency, but um anyway, that was my stressless living book, and that was the very first one.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: And then the next one was really just kind of my personal testimony, which was your life still counts.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: And then these past two, last year and this year, Unsinkable Faith and Love Life Again, as I was kind of telling you earlier, just evolved.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't like I had this specific plan, I'm gonna write on this and I'm gonna write on this.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: It's just God just took me through this season.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: And it really has been therapy for me just to be able to write.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: And when I think about Unsinkable Faith, which is all about your thoughts, the positive thinking and transforming the way that we kind of our perspectives on life and faith and everything, I really think that's what saved my sanity.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because it it forced me every single day to think about my thoughts.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: You know, what am I thinking about?
8:17
SPEAKER_01: How are my thoughts driving my emotions and my actions and all of that?
8:21
SPEAKER_01: So I really think God used the writing of that book in that really, really hard season to just help my own heart heal.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: And that kind of prepped me to be able to write Love Life Again, because over the past couple years I have learned to love my life again and accept the situations that I'm in and just you know try to live every day to the fullest and you know, yeah, just enjoy each day and be thankful for my blessings and the things that I do have.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: So it's definitely been a long journey.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: But I wouldn't trade it.
8:52
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't trade it for the world.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: So you really had to practice what you preached as you were preaching it.
8:57
unknown: Right.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: And renewing those thoughts and what is true, and then then this is kind of the fruit out of like, okay, now, now I'm gonna live it and see what happens.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Prescribed thought.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, um, I know that one of the I'm gonna open up the book here because um it's something that I wanted to ask you about.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: Um, oh, yes, okay, here we go.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: In that chapter, complaining versus limit.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, talk a little bit about that because I mean you're really speaking to I mean, all of us.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: All of us are facing tough circumstances.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, either we're in the middle of it, we've just come out of it, or we're probably gonna be heading into a storm.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: Just because the real there is a reality of um not one not comparing our trials and tribulations to someone else and being able to acknowledge that this is really hard, but then then also the process of either you know staying stuck and what do you do with that and that pain.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: Well, discontentment is something, if that's what you're referring to, that I I do talk about in the book because it's so easy to get stuck in that rut.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: And you know, for me, I had been married for 26 years and that was that was my normal life.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not that it was problem-free, but you know, that was it.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: So when that just completely changed basically overnight, there was so much of me that was like, but why can't my life look like theirs?
10:26
SPEAKER_01: Or why can't my relationship have been like theirs?
10:29
SPEAKER_01: And you know, now my family looks like this and it's different, and there was all the financial things to deal with and just all the change.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: And so it was so easy to get sucked into this nonstop mentality of disappointment and discouragement and be even kind of being mad at God, why'd you let this happen?
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And why'd this happen?
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Good things happen for them and not me.
10:49
SPEAKER_01: And and when we let our minds go down those paths, that's when we get stuck in that, you know, that perspective of negativity all the time.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: And that's not not good for us at all.
11:01
SPEAKER_01: And one thing I talked about was concern versus worry.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: And I have been called a worry wort many times.
11:07
SPEAKER_01: Gotcha.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: That used to be one of my worst habits, not that I never worry, but there is a difference between being genuinely concerned about something that you can fix.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: Like I need to make sure I'm prepared for this meeting or that my child has what they need.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: Those are genuine concerns, but just worrying for the sake of constantly worrying and fretting just zaps our joy completely.
11:29
SPEAKER_01: And so that's, you know, one of the reasons contentment was one of the topics that I talked about in the book, because if we go around being everyday discontent and negative and grumpy, that's how we're going to be perceived by others, but that's how we're going to feel.
11:43
SPEAKER_01: So we have to make the choice not to let our circumstances dictate our happiness and our content with where God has us.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: I think one of those big pieces, too, then, is to that point of um complaining versus lament.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, talk a little bit about the differences and and how that looks to not get stuck in complaining.
12:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's really important, I think, and this is one thing I talked about a lot in Unsinkable Faith, is just to capture those thoughts.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: You know, are we complaining?
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Are we lamenting?
12:14
SPEAKER_01: Are we praising God?
12:15
SPEAKER_01: So we have to choose, am I going to complain about what I'm having to face today, or am I going to praise God that I got up today?
12:21
SPEAKER_01: So it's a choice that we have to make.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: And that's one of the core threads throughout the book is we have to make that choice.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: Are we going to complain or are we going to praise God?
12:32
SPEAKER_01: And that's every minute of every day and everything that we face, that's the decision we have to make.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's good.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: And I think too, um, my friend Sarah Higgerty talks about um in that praising of being adoration and and also connecting the idea of even if we don't feel that character or nature of God because we're really going through a hard time.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: I mean, to have your marriage in suddenly after 26 years, that's that's devastating.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: And that will rock you.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: And you certainly would be the first to say it's still a process, right?
13:08
SPEAKER_00: We're learning to live with grief from one thing or another.
13:12
SPEAKER_00: Um but she talks about too, just this idea of like speaking, like you've talked about, just speaking what is true, speaking the scripture of who God is, and and just even going, Okay, God, I don't know if I really believe this about you, that you're really good, but your word says this, and you know, just the renewing of the mind and that whole process.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: And because David certainly lamented in the Psalms, I think.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: I see those like, you know, he was ready to ask, well, he was asking God to chop off his head's his enemies' heads.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: So we all have those days, yes, we do, we do, and it's just you know, but then at the end he comes back to that, like, but you are good and you're faithful and you're my defender, and I think it's but I think we need to give ourselves grace on those days when we aren't thinking about God's goodness.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes, because you know, life is hard, and when any kind of tragic situation happens, whether it's an actual death of a person or the death of a relationship or just some other major change or upheaval in your life, it takes time to emotionally process and grieve and get through those things.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: So I think it's good for people to know that there's no perfect Christian that's not ever going to worry and complain and cry and fret and you know, all of that and hang those moments.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Right.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, tell me some of that process.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: What was what was kind of your um your process of actually, and I know you talk about some of this in the book, but you know, just give us a paraphrase of you finding joy again through this really hard circumstance.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: What were some of the key things that you did to get that and find that?
14:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think one of the first things was what we've been talking about, just to stop having that doom and gloom mentality that everything's horrible and it always will be, and really try to start thinking pop more positive and also just be thankful for the things that I did have.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: There are people that had it a lot worse, uh, you know, or had to deal with different situations.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: So I just really started focusing on my family and my children and my friends, and really just we've heard this term kind of reinventing yourself after something happens, but that's you know, my life was kind of turned upside down.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: So I had to figure out what's it gonna look like when I get it, you know, back in balance.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: And I just had to spend a lot of time being thankful and praying and asking God to help me not only control my thoughts, but you know, help me stay grounded in my faith and surround myself with good influences and just really focus on, you know, I wanted to focus on my kids.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: Of course, I was really worried about them and all they were going through and how they were feeling.
15:48
SPEAKER_01: And so, and they're just awesome.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, they have been the biggest supporters and encouragers, and you know, my family is too.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: So, really, I just had to stop thinking about all the terrible things and worrying about okay, what's tomorrow gonna look like and next year and five years from now?
16:04
SPEAKER_01: Because that's one of the driving factors of worry is thinking about okay, well, what if?
16:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, about five years from now and 20 years from now, and I just can't think that way.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: You know, I can't obsess about that because God's in control of the future, and I have really just had to rest in the fact that He is in control.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: And I can't control all these circumstances and other people and different things, but I can control how I think and how I live my life and my faith.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: And so those are really the things that I've tried to keep at the top of my priority list.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: How about friendships?
16:38
SPEAKER_00: What did community look like?
16:39
SPEAKER_00: Because I I imagine that you, you know, you're married again, 26 years, you have couple friends, family friends, long-term.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you do vacations with, you know, some of those small groups, church.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: How did that shift in shape for you and how did you walk through some of that?
16:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, it was really hard at first because all of my friends are married, and I've had the same friends for many, many, many years.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:00
SPEAKER_01: And so I struggled with the fact, okay, now I'm not married.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: So how do I how do I fit in there?
17:07
SPEAKER_00: Right.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:08
SPEAKER_01: But I feel so unusually immensely blessed with the friendships that I have.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm a big tennis player.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: I love to play tennis and I play on some competitive teams, and I'm a member of a country club that we've been at for 25 years, 30 years.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: And so that has really kept our group together, but I am just so blessed with so, so many good girlfriends.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: And I love their husbands too.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we just are a very inclusive group and we all go out and do things together, and there's some of us are single and some of us are not, because I do have a couple, or maybe their husbands just can't come that night.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: So I've had to work out of that kind of back away from that corner.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: I had cornered myself in okay, if you're not married, then you can't be friends with married people.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's just not true.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: Right, totally.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: It's really our own hang up.
17:55
SPEAKER_01: But I I just am I am very thankful for the friends that God placed in my life many years ago that are, you know, they just make my life complete today, along with my family.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: And I tell them all the time, I'm like, I'd probably die without you guys because we're just really close and we just do so much together as girls, but also, you know, just a mixture of our group.
18:16
SPEAKER_00: So that's beautiful.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Really wonderful to have that support system.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: That is.
18:20
SPEAKER_00: I I'm a firm believer.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: Well, I lead like the women's small group ministry at our church, and I was talking to two younger girls who are, you know, single and you know, just career focused, and they're really helping me lead this team.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: And we were just talking about the beauty of doing life together with people who are in different seasons.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: Um there's such a extra sharpening, different sharpening that happens when you're with those people who can kind of remind you um, you know, what it's like to be, you know, in different seasons of life, different situations, deal with different hardships and circumstances, and deal with really great things too.
18:59
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, for them, they have some freedoms that I don't, and I can be reminded of like, oh yeah, I really love doing that, and I did get to do that, and at the same time, I really longed for what I have now.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: And it helps, it helps that whole contentment thing, right?
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh yeah, that's right.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: I used to really want this, and there's so much joy to be found in it.
19:20
SPEAKER_00: So, because I'm guessing that a lot of those friendships were the ones who came knocking on your door, bringing the meals, bringing the flowers, pulling you off your couch, saying, Let's go play tennis, you know, just all of that sort of thing to help help you fit that.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: And I do talk about friendship in the book because I know that there's so many people that don't have that in their lives.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: And it's just it can fill like a very big void.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: So that's why I'm saying I not only feel blessed that I had them prior to this, but that they have just all kind of surrounded me during this whole process.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: But uh, that's why I really felt like it was important as far as learning to love our lives, is to think about our friendship with Jesus.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: I shared a story in the book about how this girl basically had nothing but Jesus because she didn't have any other, you know, social media or entertainment or internet or any cable.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: And that's when she really discovered that she could have, you know, feel that that closeness and friendship with Jesus.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: But I also share how years ago I didn't feel like I had any friends, like close friends.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: I knew a lot of people.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: I wanted those girlfriends that you see in the movies.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: You know, we have this glamour of the thing.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: And I did pray for friends, and that's I think that was a life-saving prayer as I look back now because God answered that prayer, and that's been one of the things that's helped carry me through this this really hard time.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: And I think we have to be willing to.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: I I know that um when we first moved, uh, it was like nine years ago, New City didn't know anybody.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Um my husband and I were kind of stuck grieving what we used to have because we weren't a real big fan of having to move and leaving what we loved.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: And um, it took a while before, and we didn't realize this at the time, but before we were actually ready for making that room in our lives, because you do, you have to open yourself up.
21:15
SPEAKER_00: The risk uh it is is high sometimes, it feels like if you've been hurt before, or you're like nothing could compare to this, or um, it takes a willingness to be vulnerable and allow other people to come to do that.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you definitely have to step out of your comfort zone because it's not like the first time I ever stepped on the tennis court.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: It was very awkward.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: I've never played tennis before.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: But I just started after I quit working full time.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: So uh, but I mean I'm pretty good now.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: But it was, you know, it was really uncomfortable to get out there and just feel stupid.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that would be people that I know now.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: So that's awesome.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Example of get out of your comfort zone and God will bless that effort.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
22:05
SPEAKER_00: How about the ministry aspect?
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Was that when you were feeling that stirring to step into some ministerial roles, writing, speaking?
22:11
SPEAKER_00: Was that uncomfortable for you?
22:13
SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, kind of what was your process of where you're like, I know I was made to do this, even if it's uncomfortable.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, I in my book, Your Life Still Counts, I share kind of how that came about.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: But basically, I went to women's conference, I heard this life-changing message.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: My life did change that day.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: And I felt like God calling me to go and share my story, but I did not want to because that was embarrassing.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: And so I actually waited like five years before I felt like I had the spiritual courage and the, you know, a strong enough faith to really step out in faith and do that.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: But I served as the women's ministry director of a really large church for all of those years.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: And so by the time I got to the point to where, okay, I'm ready for this, that I know this is not where God wants me, then I was all in.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: 100% in.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: So I really just poured myself into building a website and writing devotions and just you know, writing things for my church newsletter, just kind of starting out and getting my feet wet with that.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: And just naturally unfolded.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's awesome because I mean I think that's a lot of us are a lot of us.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: I hope I'm not included, but a lot out there are looking for that big stage and platform.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: When I think some of the very best work comes in just being part of the local church, stepping up.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: There's always needs, there's always, you know, to be that small group leader to help serve in this part of the church or that.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's through that we can find some of our um just our our stories, our our words, even what it is that we were made to say and to share.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's a wonderful opportunity to practice it, you know, just um, you know, within that local body, encouraging that.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes it's appropriate to go out and share it in a bigger way.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: Well, I do think we need to be obedient in the small things before God will open the door for bigger things.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: So I served at my church for six years, one year just as a member of the team, and then uh the director stepped down and I kind of got put into that role.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh, gosh, yeah.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: But I loved it and and God used that serving in my local church and leading Bible studies and being in small groups and planning events for our women's ministry just to really help my own faith grow and get me to a place where I was ready for the next step.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: So often when I think we see people, um, myself included, they have this big platform and they're on stage for 5,000 people, and I want that.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: We think we think we want that, but we forget it probably took them 10, 15 years of serving, you know, in little ways and unseen ways, and just so much behind the scenes that people tend to forget.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, God, it's just a journey for all of us, no matter what what stage we're at, what our talents and gifts are.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: We just have to take it step by step and and go where God leads.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think if we're gonna have longevity in it, we have to do we have to do the slow build.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: We have to build that really firm, solid foundation of what you know, whatever all and that always changes of what that exactly looks like, but it does the slow, the slow growth process is amazing.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: As much as I shape against it, I'm uh like, you know, let's just how quickly can we get to wherever it is that we're supposed to go?
25:42
SPEAKER_01: And that's our human nature.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: We have a goal and we want to meet it.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: We have this dream and we want it to happen.
25:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: So we I think it's a good thing, a good way to keep ourselves in check is just to keep taking it step by step and trust that God's gonna lead the way.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: And it might not happen in our timing, but you know, he still has good things planned.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: Well, one more thing I wanted to leave um our because I really like your practical.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm a practical person and that's what I'm all about.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm always like, okay, I do want to give inspiration, but here's how you practice you know, here's how you practically do this, and you weave that in the book really well.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: Each chapter has those, you know, actions.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: Um, and at the end of it, you do the smile prompts.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: I thought that was really cute and clever.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: Talk a little bit about that, and maybe one of your favorite smile prompts for us to go practice today.
26:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, that just kind of came about, and that wasn't a plan either.
26:33
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to think, how can I, what can I do differently at the end of my chapter than what I've done in other books?
26:39
SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want to seem repetitive or like every other book out there.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: And my thought process was that we can read books all day long, but until we actually do something with that information, yeah, then it's not going to be life-changing for us.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: My heart is for someone to read something and then think, okay, this can happen in my life.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: God did that for her or this other person, and they can do it for me, but we can't just sit and read.
27:05
SPEAKER_01: We have to do.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we have to move, and then that invites God to move in our lives.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: So I just wanted to give some encouragement.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: Okay, now you've read this, let's pray about it.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: You know, think about how you can apply it to your own life and then go outside and do one of these things.
27:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:22
SPEAKER_01: Because we forget, we forget to smile and laugh.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: And that's one reason I had a chapter about laughter in the book, because we have to joy is from the inside, definitely, but sometimes it's external influences that can start permeating, you know, inside of our minds and our hearts to help us start feeling that joy too.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: So just sitting on the couch and reading and then going to sleep is not going to implement, it's not going to create life change.
27:48
SPEAKER_01: But when you actually put what you read into practice, then that's when things will actually begin to transform when we are taking some kind of action physically and not just mentally.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: So I just thought it was important to include some smile prompts because we we don't smile enough in today's society.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we let the weight and the concern and we get all those wrinkles, our forehead wrinkles from it instead of these ones that we should be working on.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: That's really awesome.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, I loved it.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: I think it's really good.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: And I think um while it doesn't read as a devotional, I think it would be really wise for someone to take it chapter by chapter, not plan on like sitting down and just like blowing through it, but really take it as a life, like you talked about, life practice.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: Read a chapter, go put it into practice, and um don't just let it, you know, read it and then let it collect us, let it make a life change for sure.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: I think it's awesome.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you, Tracy.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your time.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your words.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for writing through really hard circumstances.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: And I I really believe that um that's when the Holy Spirit takes over, and it just is even a greater work because in our weakness, He is not strong.
28:59
SPEAKER_00: So that's beautiful.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: I have learned that firsthand.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: You absolutely are right.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: That has an entirely new meaning for me now.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: That's beautiful.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for just um living so well and encouraging all of us in our circumstances.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: All right, thank you for having me.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: Have a great day.
29:16
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to love life again?
29:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, there's one thing I've learned the most in my adult life is that I have to stop waiting for circumstances to change before I choose to enjoy the gift of the present.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: I believe the Lord wants us to be delighted in our current season of life and see the many gifts waiting for us right now.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm really glad Tracy was willing to share her story with us.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: I hope that you connect with her on all the socials and pick up Love Life Again anywhere books are sold.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: This week's Meaningful Minutes are about finding joy in the mundane.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: We will focus on building our spirit by meditating on or asking your loved ones what they like about themselves.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: If you have kids or are going to ask some kids in your life, hopefully they will have a long list.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: Be sure and celebrate them.
30:09
SPEAKER_00: And lead the way with your true statements about yourself.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: For building our mind, I want you to learn a new joke.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Yep, I know you heard me right.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: So either it's time to dig out that old joke you haven't told anyone in a while, or do a quick search for a book on jokes.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: Now keep it clean, folks, and I think this will help us practice my next idea for building our body.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: So going along with Tracy's smile concept in her book, practice smiling today.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm serious, right now, smile big, real big.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: No matter how silly you think you're gonna look.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: When you are thinking today, you know, about the big project or you're driving around town, or you need to remind someone else to smile, practice that beautiful smile of yours.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: I'd love to know if you try any of these and what you thought of the process.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: Tag us on Instagram, Facebook, or jot us a know.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: We always love hearing from you.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: Now it's time to answer some of your Enneagram coaching questions.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: I've been sharing with you all about my coaching training throughout this last spring, and now I am sharing what I've learned by answering some of your questions.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: If you want to ask a question and join the conversation, we sure would love to hear what you think or want to know about the Enneagram.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: You can submit your questions through our link in the show notes or reach out to Simply Wholehearted or Amy Wicks, that's me, on the socials.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: If you find us on Instagram and Facebook, you can share our conversations, meaningful minutes, and the helpful resources we like to share.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: Send them to your friends and family.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: We love it when you share with others.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: Today I'm giving the answer to part two of last week's questions.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: It was this one.
31:59
SPEAKER_00: Are there patterns regarding friendships which are connected to the Enneagram?
32:03
SPEAKER_00: Such as certain numbers which might gravitate towards another number, or friendships which require more work because of a number combination, etc.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: To sum up last week's answer in short, no matter what number you are or what number someone else is, you can be friends.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: Because the Enneagram can be an amazing resource to better understand your friend's perspective, their needs, and the message their heart longs to hear, you can use this information to be anyone's go-to friend.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: Now, I am not recommending to become someone you are not, but it is so great to know how your interactions with your friends can be more life-giving.
32:43
SPEAKER_00: So once I understood some of the foundational needs of my friends, it helped me to not be as easily offended or bothered or confused when I left my time with them, wondering why they just did what they did.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: So, I happen to have a few more than the average friends who are an eight on the Enneagram, and they are also women, which is not as common.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: I find these friends can be trusted to shoot straight with me and to be very authentic, but it might take more time for them to be vulnerable.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I don't want to hear what they really think.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: I know what I see is what I'm gonna get.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: They also have a tendency to share similar struggles as my personality type.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: I happen to be an Aneagram 3, and we also love to see quick results in all arenas of life, but I'm also equally challenged by the nines in my life who want to take things a little slower, who are willing to sit and wait, which is oftentimes the wisest thing to do.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: I love how my Anneagram four numbers remind me to embrace and celebrate my uniqueness and to stop and notice the surrounding beauty.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: I need ones in my life to help edit anything and put me and my life in better order.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: Now the twos, they're everyone's helper.
34:06
SPEAKER_00: I just need to remember to not take them for granted and to appreciate them deeply.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: The fives are a wealth of information, and I know I can turn to them when I need a well-researched topic.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: The sixes of my life, they're gonna help me be more cautious, but I can also count on them to be very loyal.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: And the sevens of my life bring so much energy and fun to any situation.
34:32
SPEAKER_00: I definitely need more of those in my life.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: Next week, I'll be back with your coaching questions about the Enneagram, so keep these great questions coming.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: I hope you're enjoying this segment as much as I am.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: I'll also be bringing you more meaningful minutes.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: So in the meantime, join us on the socials as we continue our journey to living simply wholehearted.