Latest / She Speaks to Scale / 21. Speaking Habit #3: Waiting for Permission to Speak (Instead of Trusting in Your Voice)
Transcript
- Sarah Collins: Hello and welcome to She Speaks the Scale with me, Sarah Collins. the podcast that empowers women in business to own their voice, be heard and create impact, one communication insight at a time. a former senior television producer for ITV and ITN. It's my mission to bring the communication skills we need to thrive in today's world of business to the generation of women who simply weren't taught them. Whether it's scaling your authority and stepping into thought leadership, scaling your impact on camera on stage and beyond, or scaling your revenue through speaking opportunities, this podcast will help you use your voice to be heard so you're trusted and remembered when it matters most. Before we begin, if a speaking opportunity came your way tomorrow, would you pass on it, say yes through the nerves or confidently agree? Understanding your speaker identity is the first step to being able to scale and I have a quiz to help you do just It takes two minutes to complete and we'll tell you where you are now and your potential next steps on your speaking journey. I'll drop the link in the show notes. Welcome to episode 3 of my Summer Speaking Habit series. Today I'm addressing a long-term internal speaking habit that I've seen has stopped many brilliant females from sharing their insights, opinions, and thoughts. We think we need permission from others before we speak. I felt this way prior to starting my own business. I was in the corporate world and waited for others to ask my opinion before giving it. I kept my voice small and didn't question things as they arose. In hindsight, what was really happening was internal. I didn't believe or have trust in my voice and that others would take what I said seriously. Who would want to listen to me? These thoughts have arisen many times in the last couple of years since branching out on my own, I slowly decided to acknowledge them. But then move forward despite it anyway as the trust and belief in my own voice grew. Podcast guest appearances, the talks I gave for rooms full of business owners, delivering masterclasses and memberships, launching my own podcast, delivering a radio interview, and going into organizations to deliver workshops. All things I have done in the last two years alone. That voice that tells you to keep small, keep quiet, let's call it your inner chatter. Is trying to keep you safe by protecting you from embarrassment or rejection. But in doing so, it also stops you from fully sharing your expertise, your story, and your value. Because when you focus on other people's perceptions, you give away your power. Speaking confidently is not about removing that fear entirely, but about learning to speak despite it as I have. What I want you to take away from this episode is that having permission to share your insights, opinions, and thoughts is all within your control. You actually need to give yourself permission. No one is going to provide it for you. I've seen firsthand the spiral effect of delivering a podcast interview or being booked for a talk and then being invited to a further opportunity off the back of that. None of which would have happened if I'd not given myself the permission to speak in the first place. I've seen it with my clients too, how they evolve as we work together on their message and story, their mindset and then their delivery, each growing their trust and belief in their voice. And it's wonderful to see the permission they give themselves to speak up by the time we've completed our time together. Using their voices to advocate for others in their community to empower other females by thriving from the stage. In crafting this episode, it sparked a memory of a comment that was left on my LinkedIn during the early days. Someone said, I needed you recently, I was asked to appear on this morning, but said no because I didn't feel ready. That was a prime example of an opportunity slipping away because that person had not done the groundwork to give themselves permission to say yes to a potential once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Do not let that be you. I want you to give yourself permission to speak. I want you to give yourself permission to do the podcast interview. I want you to give yourself permission to call yourself an expert in what you do. I too often hear brilliant women saying, I'll do it when I've done that other course, I'll do it when my business is more off the ground, I'll do it when I've got more experience. If you're in a room with me right now, I would ask you to put your hand up if any of these were familiar. And I guarantee you, the majority of women would put their hand up at this point. So, in saying these things, what you're really doing is you're waiting for external validation. You're waiting for someone to say, you've done that course or you've got this experience, you must be qualified for XYZ. And yes, there is an element of having the right credentials. They never go amiss. But you don't need as many qualifications or as much experience as you think you do. And as women, this definitely holds us back. if you look now to see other people in your field, there will be people doing what you want to do that have less experience and less qualifications than you, without a doubt. There's a brilliant quote from Maya Angelou. I've likely said it before because it is one of my favorites. Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Giving yourself permission to speak with the knowledge you have right now, not the knowledge you get when you've done the next course. It's all in the now. So here's how to start trusting and believing in your voice. I want you to set your goal, your big goal. This is like the dream goal that you would love to achieve. What would be your dream location, event, or opportunity where you would love to share your insights, thoughts, and opinions to help others? Write this down and put it somewhere you can see it on a daily basis. Tip two: collect evidence that you are capable. And this is often a step that people skip, but it's so important. Think about all the times you've successfully used your voice to speak up, to advocate for others, to deliver an interview. Remember how you felt afterwards. Just take a moment now to remember that. It felt good, right? I want you to come back to this feeling every time you doubt yourself going forwards. And then tip three is seek out those opportunities. The summer is a great time to get ahead and seek out speaking opportunities you could put yourself forwards for or do some research ahead of pitching in September. Make a list. Start with the people in your network you could approach and then widen it up from there. And when you've done this, I want you to ask yourself the following questions. When it comes to speaking, where am I waiting for someone's permission? And what action could I take today if I fully believed and trusted in my own voice? The answer to this is often exactly what you need to do next. The people growing their visibility, their authority and their impact, they're not waiting for someone to give them permission. They're showing up and sharing their story, their message, their mission with the knowledge they have today, knowing they'll continue to learn and evolve it tomorrow. This summer, I want you to stop waiting for permission because someone out there needs to hear exactly what you have to say, and by doing so, the trust and belief in your voice will continue to rise. Thank you for listening to this episode of She Speaks to Scale. If you liked the episode or you think it will be useful for someone else, please follow and leave a review. Don't forget there's a link to my speaker identity quiz in the show notes. It takes just two minutes to find out where you are now on your speaking journey and what your next move should be. Remember to speak with intention, not hesitation and let your voice be heard.