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How To Get a Narcissist To Do What You Want Them To Do · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  In order to get a narcissist to do what you want them to do, you
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  have to ask yourself this one question.
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  How does this benefit them? Seems super simple, right?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. So getting a narcissist to do
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  what you want them to do, it's kind of like manipulating the
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  narcissist, right? No.
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  Let's go and cut the cut through the red tape.
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  I know there's some people out there, but like, lady, this
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  video sounds so manipulative. You evil bastard.
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  We knew it. We knew the evil was still
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  there, Lee. I could feel it.
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  There's people, there's people in my comment section who say
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  things like that. Lee, I can feel the evil coming
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  from this video. And I'm like, what?
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  I can feel the evil. I can feel the evil coming
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  through this. Lee, I know who you are.
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  I knew what type of person you are.
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  I'm like, oh, my God. It's pretty funny.
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  But that's what ends up happening.
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  Yeah. Like, if you want a narcissist
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  to do what you want, you have to ask yourself this question.
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  How does this benefit them? Seriously.
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  Because it's an it's an important question.
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  And I know people just like, well, to hell with that.
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  Yeah. Yeah, there's not this is is
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  this a foolproof plan? No, this does not work on every
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  single narcissist. Let's get that out of the way
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  right now for people just like Lee.
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  I tried it and it didn't work. I'm telling you, there's not
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  every single narcissist is not the same.
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  That's, that's a video coming up here pretty soon.
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  But every single narcissist is not the same.
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  So all these tactics right here don't work on every single
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  narcissist. Like try something that works,
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  find something that works. You like you have to study your
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  narcissistic opponent, right? I'm using the word opponent, but
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  they're not really opponent, right?
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  They're not really your opponent.
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  They're your partner or whoever it is.
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  They're like when you're dealing with this type of person you
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  have, this is one thing that you absolutely have to understand is
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  this, this is who they are, right?
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  At the end of the day, this is who they are.
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  So it's just like ask your like study them.
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  What do they like? What do they get out of this?
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  Well, Lee, I want them to agree to this, this amount of Co
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  parenting time and this right here.
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  I want them to agree to let me have full custody.
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  I want them to agree to just drop the Roshain or whatever.
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  I want them to agree to do this. Like, I get what you want, but
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  how does this benefit them? That's the question you have to
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  ask right there. How is this?
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  How is you asking them this or them doing this for you?
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  How does this benefit them? They have to get something from
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  it. Like in order to get a
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  narcissist to move to do what you want them to do, they have
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  to get something from it. Now I know that sounds like out
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  the way, right? Because sometimes you can force
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  them to do it, right? You can just go to court and win
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  a court battle and then they'll have to do what you want them to
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  do, right? Sometimes in certain situations,
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  right? Sometimes you have to force them
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  to do it, but what most times if you, if there is there, if
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  you're, if it's not going to court worthy or you've been to
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  court for it and it's already been decided and you didn't get
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  the results that you want, ask yourself right here, how does
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  this benefit them? How does leaving you alone or
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  stop texting you in the middle of the night or moving on or
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  like I said, the Co parenting time, How does it work for them?
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  What do they get from this? This is when you have to put
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  yourself in the shoes of a narcissist, right?
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  You have to squeeze your little tiny empathetic feet or large
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  empathetic feet, right? You have to squeeze your little
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  empathetic feet into their size 29 clown shoe and see how it
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  benefits them. Like put yourself in the mind of
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  a narcissist. And there's the, the, the dark,
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  damp, moist mind of a narcissist.
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  That sounds like a swamp doughnut.
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  Put yourself in the swamp mind of a narcissist and ask yourself
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  that question right there. Like how on earth does this
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  right here benefit them directly?
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  Because I'm, I can guarantee you one thing.
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  They are asking themselves this question.
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  They're going to that question is going to run through the mind
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  of a narcissist and they might look, not only will it run
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  through the mind of a narcissist, sometimes they'll
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  ask you straight up. They'll ask you directly, what
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  am I getting from this? How does this benefit me?
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  They'll ask you straight up, what, how does this benefit me?
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  What am I getting from this? What?
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  Huh. Can you please elaborate on the
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  benefits for me? Why would I do that?
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  That's just me giving up everything.
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  I'm not getting anything from this.
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  Well I want them to agree to give me 75% custody and they
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  won't agree to it even though I got the baby 75% of the time
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  anyway. What?
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  How do I do it right here? Sometimes you have to make it
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  seem like, hey, look, I know you like your weekends.
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  I know you like this date right here.
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  Why don't you just give me look? Why don't why don't cause 25%
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  custody Sounds like a little bit, right?
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  It sounds like you're not being a good another parent, right?
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  But you get the free time that you always been asking for.
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  That way, if we already have this agreement, you won't have
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  to reach out to me and ask. And I know you don't like
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  talking to me. Do you feel this mutual?
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  Just kidding, but how so you can take custody.
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  Like I said, you can still get, you'll still be a parent, but
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  now you get your weekend. You can get your weekends free.
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  You don't have to find a babysitter or whatever, you
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  know, and you can still talk to them.
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  If you want to call and talk to them, by all means, you want to
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  change up a day or two, by all means you can come get them.
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  Like I'm willing to work with you.
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  Boom. That benefits them in some way
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  because you sold it. That could work because you sold
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  it to them as a benefit to them. You get your weekends back, you
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  get your weekends free again like you want to.
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  You can travel, you can do whatever you want to do and if
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  you want to, you want to change the day up, you still can make
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  it benefit them in some way, shape or form.
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  And this is not y'all, this is not me telling you have to give
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  in to their demands. You're not Look, I know you have
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  you y'all probably hear the term we don't negotiate with
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  terrorists, right? We don't negotiate with
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  terrorists. And I agree you don't.
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  We don't negotiate with an emotional terrorist.
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  You don't do that right? But when you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, it's just like sometimes you have to make
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  it a win win situation where you're getting what you want and
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  they feel like they're getting what they want.
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  You see, it's the feel. They feel like they're getting
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  what they want. They might not actually be
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  getting it right, but they feel like it.
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  Well, Lee, that sounds like you telling us to manipulate them.
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  Yeah, not all manipulation is bad, I promise you.
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  Sometimes you got to manipulate your kids to take medicines.
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  Sometimes, right? Here comes the airplane.
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  Or eat their vegetables. Here comes the airplane.
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  Open up. Here's the airplane.
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  You manipulated your child right there.
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  Those, those squashed peas with those green peas that you knew
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  were not, you knew you, you, you manipulated that one time.
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  You told them it was # cake, but it was actually cornbread.
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  That's manipulation, y'all. But it's healthier.
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  You see what I'm saying? Now, all to me now, all
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  manipulation is bad, right? You know, I'm not telling you to
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  be a sinister manipulator. Were you sitting in there like,
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  no, you're not scheming. You're actually doing the things
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  that are going to benefit for the greater good, the greater
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  benefit here, right? It's a nod.
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  That's the direction you have to take it in.
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  You have to take it in the way that's going to benefit
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  everybody the most because I'm just.
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  Yeah, I'm being real with you. And I tell you this, that
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  narcissistic person is going to keep doing this type of stuff
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  because at the end of the day, again, this benefits them.
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  Like, sometimes messing with you benefits them because like,
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  like, like sometimes, yeah, think about even the bad stuff
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  that they do to you that benefits them because they can
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  get a rise out of you. They can start an argument out
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  of nowhere. They can, they, they know
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  showing up late, showing up 5 minutes late ruins your day,
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  throws you off of your schedule, right?
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  So you have to start start thinking the way that this
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  benefits them. They're saying like if they're
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  getting the benefit from your reaction, sometimes you have to
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  take that away. Like if you're yelling and
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  screaming because they, they can say a certain term or a certain
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  couple of words and it sets you off.
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  They're always going to do that because it sets you off.
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  Why wouldn't I do something that sets you directly off?
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  Because if I'm messing with your, if I'm trying to mess with
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  your head, I want you set off. Don't I?
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  Don't I So ask yourself that question run through these
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  scenarios in your head when you happen to when you were
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  negotiating with a narcissist, right?
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  Or trying to talk to them into doing something that you want to
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  do, letting them like switching up weekends, switching up days
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  or whatever it is. Ask them, look, hey, can you do
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  can you do me a favor? If you asking them like that?
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  Just imagine asking your narcissistic partner or ex or
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  whoever it is that you still are dealing with that you have that
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  you need a favor from them. How they going to take that?
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  You see what I'm saying? Can you do me a favor?
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  They don't, they don't benefit them.
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  How does that benefit them? Instead of saying, can you do me
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  a favor and say, hey, look, if you do this, I'll do this for
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  you. You see how this negotiation,
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  they're getting something from that, right?
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  I'm not saying like I'm not telling you off of no cheeks or
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  nothing like that. We ain't going to the bedroom,
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  no bedroom stuff, right? But if you hey, if you switch
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  this Wednesday, I'll switch a day with you next week.
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  But they are they going to agree to that?
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  Some of them might not because they want you to.
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  They want your life to be hard. Some of them absolutely might
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  not care that you need to switch this day.
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  They don't care if they need to switch a day, they don't care.
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  They want to mess with you, right?
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  Again, this is not a foolproof plan, doesn't work on everybody.
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  But as you move forward, as you continuously move forward and
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  decide what you want to do next, this is these are the type of
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  things are going to be super important for you.
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  Ask yourself that question, how does this benefit them?
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  Because there's going to be an important distinction to make.
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  Because they're, I'm just telling you, the more you move
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  forward, this type of person, the more you deal with this type
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  of person, the more you understand exactly where I'm
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  coming from. Because they're going to keep
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  doing this type of stuff because in in their minds, it's they
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  love it. They get a high from it.
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  Some narcissists absolutely get a high from messing with you.
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  So guess what they were going to keep doing?
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  They'll keep messing with you, right?
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  So ask yourself that question right there.
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  How does this benefit them? How can I win or make it isn't
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  even have to be How does this benefit them?
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  How can I make them feel like they won?
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  How can I make them feel like they're they're getting the most
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  out of this? How can I make them feel like
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  they're defeating me, but I'm still getting what I want right?
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  Sometimes because you, because you, as you know, some
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  narcissists are only out here to try to bring you pain.
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  Some narcissists are only out here to try to hurt you and
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  cause some bring some disarray or some, you know, absolutely
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  just to to make your life harder again.
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  There are some horrible narcissists.
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  There are horrible people out here.
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  They're not they're not out here looking to try to help you do
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  work through anything. They're trying to hurt you.
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  They're absolutely trying to bring pain to you and they do
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  not care. That's the mentality that you
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  face when you have a narcissistic toxic gas line
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  bastard for a partner. But anyway, y'all, thank y'all
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  for making it this far. If you made it this far, hit the
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  subscribe button y'all. And again I'm y'all see I'm
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  taking the channel in the new direction.
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  I'm starting doing more mental health related videos.
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  Open up open different topics and things like that.
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  So you have a topic drop in the comment section.
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  Make sure you hit that subscribe button.
• 11:02
  Thank y'all for being here to to ride the 500K and I'm out.
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  Peace.