Latest / The Favourite Self Podcast / 21. The Power of Radical Presence: Building a Life and Business That's True to You with Janette Downie

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21. The Power of Radical Presence: Building a Life and Business That's True to You with Janette Downie · The Favourite Self Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: That idea of doing it all at once, of multitasking, I broke up with completely.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the biggest and best way that I could recommend for anyone to protect their energy is give 100% of yourself to the thing that's in front of you.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I like to think of it not as your future self or your best self, but your favorite self.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite self that just makes me feel the truest version of me.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: What lights your favorite self on fire?
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Carly Ottaway, founder, author, storyteller, and a woman who learned that building a successful life means nothing if it doesn't feel like yours.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is for women who are building businesses, raising families, leading movements, and asking themselves, is this it or is there more available to me?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is your invitation to come back to yourself.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dig in.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I am so excited for this conversation because Jeanette is someone who embodies something I think so many women in business are really craving right now.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the permission to build, to lead, to create, to mother, and grow in a way that actually honors your nervous system and your energy.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: She is a marketing agency owner, photographer, projector, mom, wife, and the founder of The Chill Space, which is a pop-up activation, podcast, and content world built for the people who bring the energy and know when to protect it.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: She is the co-founder of Space Creators, which is a digital marketing agency specializing in ads and email marketing, and a photographer whose work has been described as candid, natural, and deeply felt.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Jeanette has built her three creative businesses around one truth.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sensitive creatives deserve to succeed without sacrificing themselves to do it.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: After years of burnout, stress addiction, and following frameworks that were never designed for her brain, Jeanette found her way back to herself through creativity, community, and a lot of unlearning.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now she helps other sensitive creatives do the same.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're going to talk about what it really looks like to lead as a sensitive person, grow multiple businesses while raising a family, work with your husband, and create a life and business that feels more aligned.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Before we get into today's episode, I want to personally invite you to something I have been dreaming about for a very long time.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: The favorite self-retreat is happening on October 1st at the beautiful Wisdom Gardens Retreat Center in East Willenbury.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is a full day for the woman who can feel a new chapter calling her, the woman who is ready to reconnect with her deepest desires, trust the vision she has for her life, and step forward with the confidence to create something even bigger than she has allowed herself to imagine.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Together, we'll create space to release the stories, patterns, and beliefs that no longer belong in your next chapter.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: But this day is also about so much more than what you're leaving behind.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's about remembering who you are, reclaiming the gifts, dreams, and desires that have always been within you, and becoming the version of yourself who feels safe, worthy, and fully capable of bringing her wildest dreams to life.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be guided through breath work, subconscious rewiring, reflection, meaningful conversation, and powerful exercises designed to help you clarify what you truly want and confidently step into what's next.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: This really isn't about becoming someone else.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's about coming home to the most powerful, expressed, and fully alive version of you and giving yourself permission to dream bigger.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know you're ready for your next chapter, I would love to have you in the room.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Spaces are limited and spots are already being claimed.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can learn more and reserve yours through the link in the show notes.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's get on to the episode.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome back to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have a very special guest here today that I am so excited.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're gonna get into the real, meaningful, juicy bits of building a business, building a business with your husband, being a projector, being a sensitive leader and what that actually means and how to lead from that place.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome, Jeanette.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy you're here.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yay.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Carly.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to be here.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I have been loving your show.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: I love everything that you do.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's really fun to now get a chance to be a guest after listening to the first few episodes.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: They've been so amazing.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you so much.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: That means so much from you, from an established podcaster.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: I so appreciate it.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to have you on.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've had the privilege of being on your show.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I just know we have the best conversations offline too.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So to be able to record and bring this to the community, I'm so excited about.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Can we just start off, just for those who might not know your story yet?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love how there's so many different hats that you wear and you know, just how you your story has led to where you are now.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So can you share a little bit about who you are and what you do and really the different worlds that you have built through your businesses?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I laugh because for someone who talks so much about overwhelm and overworking, of like, I still do so many things, but I think the real, you know, the journey that I've gone on is how I do the things.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what's really changed over time.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: But I've always been a really creative person ever since I was little.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: I even as a kid, you know, I loved poetry, I loved art, I loved drama and acting and creativity was always a thing that really fueled everything that I did.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: And if I wasn't doing something creative, I was not really myself.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like that is a through line that has followed me through my whole journey, even to now what I'm doing.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: I've actually probably made a bit of a return to even doing more of that these days.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, I like many entrepreneurs started with a corporate job that I hated.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I was really proud of myself, though, at that time because I had worked my way up.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: I got a job out of university as a hostess at a restaurant, and you know, I got four promotions in four years, and I made it to the top, and I was like grinding to get to this corporate position that really felt like in my mind the idea of I've made it, you know, it was like a 50k salary, and I worked at head office with all of the most important people, and it felt like that at the time, but I'm not joking.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was two and a half weeks of doing this job at head office before I started to be like, oh no, this is not for me.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I couldn't stand like the accountability to sales meetings and having to show up on a Monday morning at 8:30 with a huge list of all the things that I'd accomplished.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, just having to live in that world, it felt so out of alignment for me.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started to explore my photography career at that point, and I was very lucky that that took off quite quickly.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I got to become an entrepreneur at that point with my first business.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea what I was getting into.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's been a bit of a roller coaster ever since.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Photography is about um 10 or 11 years that I've been doing that, and then through, you know, it was through the pandemic that I couldn't shoot and I needed to find something else to do.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was bored.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't sit around collecting money from the government.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: I had to do something.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: So my partner and I decided to start Space Creators, which is a marketing agency that has had many lives in its six years already.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: But today we focus on advertising and email.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: So I consider that my second creative business.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm now on to my third creative business with the Chill Space, an event activation that helps people stay at events longer, stay more engaged, and feel better while they're there.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: So creativity, really again, the through line of everything that I do.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Three businesses in a crazy long journey, and I have learned a lot along the way.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I love it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna get into all of that.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I can absolutely relate and right away, I'm I'm wondering, I have to ask you as a creative, and especially because you did, you know, start in the corporate world too.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Did you feel like pulled to always build a career through your creative passion?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And did you notice a shift when you started monetizing it?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, continue.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: How did you keep that creative spark alive?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: This is such a good conversation to have.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like a lot of people can relate to this journey.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, to start with the first part, I always wanted to have a creative career.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: I did not always believe it was possible for me.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I actually felt for a long time, and especially while I was chasing that corporate career, that that was just not realistic.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was so unattainable.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't be an artist for a living, you know.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it just didn't feel like something that I could do, even though it was like the most important and most authentic way that I could live.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was very like blinders on to the idea of success being growing up a corporate ladder, making as much money as possible and having a really fancy title.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was like working towards that.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I just didn't even feel like I could do it, you know?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: But it wasn't until I got to that position, like I mentioned, and really started to just see how unhappy I was and how much, you know, every day was hard and like a drag.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: And there was nothing that excited me about what I was doing, no matter how hard I tried.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just felt nothing towards this.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I had started to play with photography at that time and and just see, you know, could I do something with this?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: It was a hobby before.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I just started offering people shoots and seeing and, you know, who would do this and could this be a thing?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it is something that's worth exploring.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I could turn it into a job.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I made it a goal for myself once I started kind of announcing and sharing with the world that I was doing photography that I wanted to go full-time in three years.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: That was my goal.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I did it in one.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay, okay, universe, we can do this.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: You can be an artist for a living.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, if you are following something that makes you genuinely happy, that you have a gift to share with the world through your art, it's very doable.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: But turning a creative passion into a business to your second point is a whole other journey in and of itself because I think a lot of creative people start businesses thinking that like they will just get share their joy with the world.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: They'll get to share their talent and make things for people and make people feel things, and that that's gonna be like the whole thing, not realizing that a business requires a lot more of that.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: So that definitely is um something that took me a little while to wrap my head around.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say not until I was probably five years into doing photography did I start to take the business side of things seriously.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it does shift how you feel about the work a little bit.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but it's such a journey because I mean, now another five years on top of that later, I feel like I'm coming back to that idea of how we kind of fuel those creative businesses.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, I I hope that answers.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I and I'm asking selfishly because I feel the same.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel even just there's the business part and then there's the marketing part to a writing a marketing agency.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I started in that space because it did feel like such a creative outlet.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: But then as I was, you know, building the business, growing the business, and like really stepping into more of that CEO role, I found myself getting pulled away from the creative part that lit me up in the first place.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't, you know, the copywriter writing, doing the client work anymore.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's when I had to find these other outlets to really let myself feel creative in that same way again.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, there's probably a a pretty, it's kind of feels black and white in terms of people that would label themselves as a creative and people that would say, I am not creative.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe everyone absolutely has that the creative light fire within them.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: It just looks and feels different depending on who you are and what you love.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I totally agree.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that creating a business in general is inherently creative.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like it doesn't matter what that business is, you've come up with an idea, you've had to put imagination into it, you've had to think about how it's going to live in the world, you've had to think about how you're gonna communicate that to your customers.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: What is it gonna look like?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Whether you have a physical product or a service, there is so much creativity that goes into that.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: And you're right, because in so many of the circles that we're in, or even networking groups, you hear people all the time say, Well, I'm I'm just not creative.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think they are associating that with maybe just like the physical production of art, right?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that is not the same thing, like being creative and producing art are two different things.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, you could argue that creating a business is creating art.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I totally agree.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where, you know, the purpose-filled business owners are doing it really because they are want their clients, their customers to feel something and they are creating that that is art and what they're creating to drive those feelings.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna get into all the feelings, and I'm gonna talk about that too.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I I do really want to talk about that and and what it is like being both a business leader and a creative and a sensitive person.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because we talk about that and like to me, to me, your sensitivity is your superpower.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: I love the way that you share about it.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think that in order to be creative, we need to tap into our sensitive side in a lot of ways as well.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: But then it feels like it butts heads against this kind of masculine energy of, you know, the traditional idea we have of leadership.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I think a lot of women can really relate to feeling like these two things are at odds.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd love to hear your experience with really how has sensitivity always been something that you've recognized in yourself and how have you navigated that in your leadership?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Big question.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: And there's so much I want to say.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: I love it, and and I'm glad we're taking this here.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I have always been really sensitive, like in in more ways than one.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Emotionally sensitive, mentally sensitive, sensitive to sounds, lights, all the things.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that is something that I think I had to learn how to navigate through life to kind of just operate in like normal society.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I imagine and I think of myself back as a child and the sensitivity that I felt and how either you know you're made fun of it for it, or people will tell you just to toughen up.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: You can't be like that, suck it up.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: I must have heard suck it up, I don't even know how many times in my life.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I have like distinct formative memories, uh, especially from adults speaking to me as a child about how you're gonna have to, you know, get over this.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have to just suck it up.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's not all about you.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like just so many things would really stick out and and I would believe it, right?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, I'm young and I'm learning from the people who are around me.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so there's two sides of that because on the one hand, that was really difficult to hear that all the time and for, you know, sensitive sensitivity to feel like it wasn't a good thing.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: It felt like it was like a negative thing that didn't really belong in kind of day-to-day life or in amongst group friends' groups or, you know, in class or whatever.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: On the other hand, I built a lot of resilience through that, you know.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: So yes, it was hard, but I definitely learned how to be resilient and kind of just to keep going, which I think is another super power of mine, but superpower of sensitive people in general, is you you have resilience to exist in this world, and you can really use that to your advantage, especially in business.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I'm gonna I'll stop there.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: I have so many thoughts.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: I just love the contrast of both of these things where where, you know, the creative speed piece and and honestly the marketing piece, because as much as marketing is so creative, it feels like it's shifted a lot away from the creativity because it's so much this is what you should do, this is a formula you should follow, this is the exact template, you know.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I I do feel like we're getting away from that finally, which feels like such a breath of fresh air.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like that actually sucks up, sucks away all the creative joy.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then same with the sensitive peace and leadership.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like actually being empathetic and being able to, because I feel that.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I've I like hear my voices in my head call me crazy because I'm like, I feel something is off with this team member and I can't explain it, or I feel something's off with this client, or I'm sensing something with this like other relationship that, you know, whether it's like just a red flag kind of feeling, and it's hard to articulate from our logical mind the why, and that to explain that to people that need a logical explanation.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've found motherhood has been so helpful for me in this because I I can relate and I feel like I've always I'm the same, like and I especially when you say sensitive to light and noise, like I'm like, yep, yep.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's literally in my human design chart.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had a reading and my sensitivity to noise is like in my chart.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: I forget where it is.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: I need to like dive back into it, but I felt so validated.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: And now I see it in my daughter, and just like even just actually not that long ago, she's she's just been going through, I know, a growth spurt.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's shown up in these kind of different like outbursts where she hasn't felt herself.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband and I were talking about it, and we're like, she just has been feeling so much, and I know she's feeling our energy right now.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we've been in the thick of like just a sickness season and just like it's been a lot, and I know she carries that and she can't articulate why she's feeling the way that she's feeling.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: It just comes out in her emotions and she's so empathetic.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, so I'm able to now reflect that back to her and like show her that it's such a superpower, but also like relate to how hard and complicated it is at seven years old when you don't know why you're feeling this way.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's hard as an adult.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Still, I'm like, why am I feeling like this this week?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's going on?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and what a blessing and a gift for her to have you as a mother who can guide her and help her because you understand, you know?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I and I learn by error sometimes too.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Don't get me wrong.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I totally relate, you know, our kid, my my son is the same age as your daughter, and he is the same.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: He is very sensitive.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I just always think of that.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm so glad that I can see myself in the experiences that he's having and be able to just try to help, try to be there, try to be a source of support, try to share something that might actually be helpful instead of making them feel worse.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, with a toughen up, like, and and I see it too, because like, yes, of course, there's a layer of life that requires a thick skin.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we know that in entrepreneurship when we've had to work through those some of those like soft skills that, you know, like it can lead into a little bit of shadow as well, like whether that's the people pleasing or um playing small or you know, whatever that looks like.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: So um it's it's totally like a yes, both, and and I just I just would love to hear more about like.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: You to speak to how really sensitivity has shaped the way that you lead, the way that you create, and ultimately make decisions in your business?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a it's a great question because it is not easy.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's something that we all hope to be able to do and to do well, but in practice is not always, you know, as smooth as you expect it's gonna be.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: So when Steve and I started Space Creators, we actually really started it around the ethos of the people that were gonna work with us, and it was all kind of rooted in our experience working in toxic work environments for asshole bosses and just for jobs that you hated being in.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: And not, you know, maybe going in with the best of intentions, but not being able to even produce what you want to or perform the way you want to because it's so bad, you know?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so our whole philosophy around space creators was creating an environment where people get to do the work that they love while being treated like real human beings who have real lives that exist outside of the workplace.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: We always wanted work to feel like it adds to your life instead of taking away from it.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I think like that was really rooted in the type of leadership that I wanted to have at the helm of the business and to be able to be myself, to be a real human, even though I'm the boss, um, to be sensitive, to show emotion, all of those things were really important to me.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: And for the most part, I would actually say that it has been okay.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that especially amongst the team, there have been a lot of instances, however, you know, especially combining that ethos with being fully remote, where we have had experiences where people have taken advantage of that, um, of the mantra, of the sensitivity.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: And on the flip side, where I think we sometimes run into trouble is more on the client side, right?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the expectations that clients have around uh deadlines or how quickly things get done, or yeah, it just could be anything, right?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: And there are instances, and especially a solopreneur would relate, where life just happens and something gets in the way and it isn't always received well on the other side, right?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And that can convince you, well, maybe my humanity actually doesn't belong here.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it doesn't belong in the professional world.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't disagree more.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's an obvious misalignment, a red flag if the other person who is receiving you is not able to receive your sensitivity or your humanity at the same time.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: So well said.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I really love that you bring up that you and Steve built the business really inspired by the bad bosses that you had and what you didn't want.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I think, you know, really that's one of the most powerful experiences to help you understand what you do want is to really have the bad bosses or have, you know, the negative experience so that you can do the opposite.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then that comes back to like that, I guess, teaching you the resilience, teaching you, you know, in parenthood, I mean, all the all the love and grace to our own parents.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: But of course, when we're we become parents, we think of, you know, what what parts of their parenting do we want to emulate and what parts do we want to shift?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: And and just like in business, you know, how all of that shapes the leader that you become, the business owner you become, like you need to experience the hardship.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: You need to experience the the client that, you know, it goes awry and you have to fire the client or or the team member relationship that grows apart because it does shape you so much into the leader that you're meant to be.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there I would be lying too if I didn't say that there are many times Steve and I are like, you know what?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: I understand why bosses go bad.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like things do happen where you think it would be a heck of a lot easier to just be so cold and to and to just be so cut and dry.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And there are instances where I do think that is necessary.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: It it really depends, right, on like the severity of the situation that you're dealing with.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: However, whenever something happens that really pisses us off, we always take a step back and wait and always come back to the original ethos of what we were trying to create.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if we're handling this person or this situation with our humanity, with our sensitivity, with our empathy and our understanding, then how how does that version of us handle it?
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that always makes us make decisions that are in alignment with those values and those things that we're trying to do.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: But it it's often, often.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: But we don't, we don't at the end of the day.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's a resilience to that too, a commitment to who you're wanting to be in the world.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to get into more about building your business and partnership.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like we can obviously relate to so much on that.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: But first, I I want to talk about how do you protect your energy while still showing up for your clients, for your team, for your family, and your creative work as well.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_01: Not something that's easy at all to do and has taken me quite a long time of learning, unlearning, effort, lack of effort, all of the things to kind of understand what is required for me to do that.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: I really learned that trying to do everything all at once is an impossible goal.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I love everything that I do, genuinely.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like I love photography.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: I love space creators, I love the chill space, I love my podcast, I love my family, my son, you know, like everything that I do I love so much.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if I tried to do all of those things at once, then I would hate them all, you know?
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I started to notice that pattern of being resentful and and feeling like everything was so hard and I didn't enjoy anything.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because I was trying to do it all at once, you know.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: And when I say all at once, it doesn't mean like all in the same general grand scheme of time.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I'm doing all of these things right now, but I never share a single moment with more than one thing, if that makes sense.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: So the biggest and most helpful thing, and I talk about this a lot, is just like radical presence to the thing that's in front of you.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, we are recording this podcast.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is the only thing that I'm giving my attention to.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that includes in my mind, you know, like I think entrepreneurs, creatives, we can tend to have a constant like thing going in our heads of what we have to do, what I could be doing also at the same time as this, or maybe I'm texting at the same time as talking to you, and I just refuse to do that anymore.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that has changed everything for me.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: So if I am with my son, I'm with my son.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't feel the pressure to answer the phone no matter who's calling.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even look at my messages.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't put on podcasts while he's with me so that I can try to learn something at the same time.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like that idea of doing it all at once, of multitasking, I broke up with completely.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the biggest and best way that I could recommend for anyone to protect their energy is give 100% of yourself to the thing that's in front of you.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you put parameters on that, right?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like these are the hours that I'm available.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: If I know in the morning I have this much time with my family until school, and then I have those school hours, like I will not take a call after 3 p.m.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: when I have to pick up my son.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's no more of me available for anything else at that point, you know?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it takes experimentation and trial, and maybe what works for me isn't always the same thing that works for other people.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I do believe we're in a lot more control than we think we are.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever I kind of share that idea, people, you know, I often get met with, well, like that's just not possible for me, or like my business requires more of me, maybe than yours does, or like I can't turn my phone off.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: I don't believe any of that.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I really think there's presence has become a a lost art, right?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: In this world where we are constantly having so many things vying for our attention.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I definitely, I completely agree.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's something that I'm always aiming for.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I fall off and I've been in a season of that.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it comes back to like the idea, the concept of work-life balance, right?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like exactly, like if we're trying to do them both at the same time, there's no, there's no balancing here.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's having seasons where, you know, one is maybe getting more of you than the other, and just like really leaning into the ebb and flow of that.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd love to hear some, you know, of your b best tips.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or also like, do you feel like you've always been able to compartmentalize in that way?
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: Or when you have there been times when you've kind of like caught yourself falling off track and like even just in your day-to-day, how do you turn that switch?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've always talked about that with Luke, where I feel like men have a better have are better able to just turn that switch off, you know.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: So in business, like he can he can turn it off at the end of the day.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: And like we work from home, we have our home offices.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, it's I'm finding I really need to create some rituals around ending my workday, which has felt really hard lately.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's easier when it's nice out, and like I pick up the kids and then we just immediately go outside and like we take a walk or do whatever we do, and like I'm forgetting I'm not near my phone and it can shut off.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then, you know, there's overlap when like something happens and I'm like back at my desk when I didn't intend to be.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I just would love to hear from your experience.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are your like kind of favorite hacks for that?
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: How do you shut it off?
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: Both in my in to like step into motherhood and in your marriage, too.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll be so honest with you.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, none of those hacks have worked for me.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like none.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and when you asked, like, if I've always been able to compartmentalize, absolutely not.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like that, it's one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, and one of the most important.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: And learning how to work through separating myself and and that idea of presence has been quite the journey.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I for a long time, I really did try to just do everything all the time at home, in my relationship, for my son, for my businesses, all of the things.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it is an absolute surefire way to meet a very dark and twisty burnout.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I experienced that, I don't know, probably for like seven years.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was I've I think I was in the trenches of that, quite burnt out, quite unhappy for quite a long time.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I tried all the things.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: I tried the uh like change your outfit or ch put on a hat when you walk in one room or like snap a bracelet when you're like day is done.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, none of that worked.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, if something caught my attention, it got my attention, you know?
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: So like there was no there was no pulling me out of that.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if someone said they needed something, I was so conditioned and so in the habit of I will provide it and I will do it right now.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't matter what aspect of it.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: So it was torture because if you're trying to mix all of these things together and whatever gets your attention, you give it your attention right away, it's like I'm sitting at the computer, I'm doing something work.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, my son needs something, okay, now I'm going to that.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: But now, oh, there's an emergency, a website's down, you know, and then you're just friggin' bouncing all over the place from thing to thing.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: You're doing nothing well, and you feel like you have absolutely zero control over your life.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I had like a magic formula that was like, hey, here's the thing that is going to help you.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: The things that have helped me personally, again, it's not like hacks.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: One, I have to be just so strict with myself.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to catch myself if I'm trying to share my time amongst multiple things.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or if something comes up, I have to literally tell myself, you don't have to answer this right now.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: Put it down.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: This is not the time that you have in front of you.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: This is like not the thing that you're working on right now.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And being so strict, you have to build a habit around it because the habit that you currently have is the opposite.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so you have to retrain yourself to be like, no, it's okay.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing is an emergency, is also like a big mantra that I have.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: There are things that are real emergencies, okay?
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like real emergencies, actual things that I think deserve you to be taken out of the present moment.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really think that anything work-related is ever one of those things.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm sure that a lot of people can relate if they've ever experienced anything difficult in their personal life, right?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's being so strict with yourself, it's relearning the habits, unlearning the habits.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's constantly revisiting that as well.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm not just walking around now like healed.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like every single day thinking about how I have to do things differently in order to maintain my sanity.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I love that mantra.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: I always say someone else's urgency is not my emergency.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, especially in the marketing world or any really service-based, especially online business, that you can get, you know, that email, that Slack message at any time, you need to create the boundaries around that and really be able to have that discernment between what is gonna, what is worth your time and energy at this moment, and recognizing, you know, we're not doctors here, we're not handling people's literal lives in our hands.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember motherhood when I first had my baby, like my daughter, really opened my eyes to that because I was like, suddenly, all those things that felt like these big fires in business before kids that would like totally derail my day or like literally pull me out of vacation.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, wow, those are not a big deal at all.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: I have a living, breathing life that I'm holding in my hands.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it really gave me that reality check.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to talk more about that and just, you know, how you have like raised your son while scaling your business in partnership with your husband.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, what what works really well for you guys in that and what's Steve's human design actually?
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: He's a manifester.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: He's a manifester.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear a little bit more about that because Luke and I are both Manny Jens.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's I feel like we have that uniqueness where we operate very similarly.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: But one thing that I've like confided in you as a friend is just, you know, how one of my challenges has been really like a lack of extra support on the on the childcare family side that makes it hard sometimes to step out and and like take the opportunities from business because, you know, I I don't necessarily have the support at home.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Luke is so hands-on and so amazing, but it's like he also has a full schedule and then it's always falling on his lap because I do most of the I'm really the face of the business.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: He's the behind the scenes guy.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: So he's still doing a lot, but you don't see a lot of what he's doing.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that takes me out of the home.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's, you know, I have to really pick and choose.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's challenging.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I find I'm still, I I feel like I like had worked through it and I'm still working through like the resentment of that.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to catch myself a lot in the comparison with with other entrepreneurs that have so much help at home from other family members or whatever that looks like for them.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're heading into the summer and we're doing very, very way less camps this summer because it's a so expensive.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's gotten insane for two kids in camp.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and also just because I really want to prioritize like a big part of my vision and goal for the business with our family is that we have more flexibility in the summer so that when our kids are off school, you know, we have that time to spend with them.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I can feel myself feeling anxious about it and okay, how am I gonna really make this work and what's it gonna look like?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I would just love to hear your own experience with that and how you guys like, is there a rhythm that works really well for you and Steve?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: And like you do travel, you know, I get to see you because you're in Nova Scotia and I'm outside of Toronto and I get to see you come to Ontario for events, thank goodness.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: I can become your way more.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'll bring the whole fam.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what does that look like?
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love this, and you know, as as I was listening to you talk there, I felt like I just wanted to give you like the permission to just enjoy that this summer and to I think to really put into perspective of like what your priority is for the summer, and that if that's your kids and that's your family, like how great is that, you know, and how wonderful to create family memories and to get to spend so much time together.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think in the flip side, there's a lot of people who don't get to spend any time with their families because they are working all the time, whether it be out of necessity or stress and work addiction like me.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like but there's lots of reasons why people don't get to spend so much time with their families, and and it's such a privilege and it's such a gift to get to have that time together and you're not missing anything, you know.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's been the biggest mindset shift for me.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: I always felt like it was either or, right?
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: And like that you could only have a really successful business if you're willing to sacrifice time with your family and vice versa.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: You could only have a really successful family if you were willing to sacrifice the success of your business.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I I don't believe that's true.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people would disagree with me on that.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: I see a lot of people who I think argue that you have to be willing to make sacrifices, and there's elements of that that are true.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: However, I don't believe families one of those things.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: If that's your biggest priority, it's okay to make it your biggest priority, you know, you don't have to sacrifice that because you have other goals.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: I think there are other ways to make it happen.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: It comes back to that idea of presence again.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, taking the step back and saying to myself, like, if you're being so, so, so honest with yourself, you know that the thing you want to do the best of all the things you're doing is be a mom.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be a great mom.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay then if that is the thing I try the hardest to be the best at.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I knew that when, you know, when I was still in the thick of trying to do all the things all at once, and I would say, like, I can't do bedtime tonight because I have a meeting, or I'm sorry I can't do this because it's a client needs me.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I have never felt worse than saying those things and saying, like, I can't do something for you because something else needs me.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: And getting, you know, sitting with dad and reflecting that back to myself was was all that I needed to just really know, okay, in the in the list of priorities, this is at the top, my son's at the top, being a mom is at the top, and that helps me in all my decision making, right?
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: And when it comes to business or when it comes to opportunities, and you know, I want to go to all the things, I want to go to all the events, all the networking, and all, you know, but that isn't realistic, knowing that my first priority is is my son, you know?
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think being able to be comfortable with that and And to remind yourself that by choosing the thing that matters most to you, you're not missing anything else.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're just, you're just gaining because you're giving everything that you can to the thing that you care the most about.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: I yeah, it makes me very aware of that.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_00: Really the idea that, you know, when I find myself thinking, like, oh, I could grow or scale my business so much faster if I had more child care.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: But on the flip side, the whole reason I started this was to have more time with my kids.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: And exactly what you said, like I I've always reflected on, you know, this season when we are really in the thick of it, when, you know, our kids are a little more independent now.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: So things have changed again.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're in this other season, which is part of why this is coming up for me in a different way, because I have more uh availability.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: I can, you know, be out there more and and it's kind of like navigating, okay, just how much can I stretch that and still be the mom that I want to be in this season?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: But there was a time when so like so much of it went into motherhood.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I, and I do believe that maybe we grew slower because of that, because I wasn't, you know, doing the things that maybe others were had the capacity to do that were in a different life season.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I have zero regrets.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I've always said that.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like looking back, I'm so glad that I was able to be present with my kids in that season of life.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, now even just like this sweet spot of seven, like having knowing we both have seven-year-olds, Kennedy's gonna be eight in September.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: And like, it's such a shift.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm like seeing her just like, and it's so exciting because I'm like, she really is my little bestie, and like we get to go on these dates and you know, do things and have conversations that are so different and feel a lot more mature.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then I like on Mother's Day, I'm you know, going through my camera roll and like looking back at all the videos, and I'm like, and I can do that without feeling I can feel nostalgic, but not like I missed it.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know I was present for it.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I look back and and look at those through my camera roll, I I have this I don't know if it's a relief or just like a piece knowing that I was there for that.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: And and now I yes, okay, I have the photos and videos, but like I was there in the moment and I didn't miss it.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love that so much.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you remind me that you know, I started working like three months after Odin was born, and I really regret that, you know, and I what I think about it in retrospect, I think that's something that also has kind of helped me shape how I handle things now is I was really afraid to turn away opportunities and there was an opportunity and I took it, and then once you start, you're gonna keep going, right?
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I over overall don't feel like I missed time with him, but I do feel like I could have been a much better version of myself or a more aligned version of myself, maybe at that time, if I hadn't been distracted as well, you know, and so I love that.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, you can look at all of those memories that you have and you're like, yeah, I was there, I was present, I was part of it.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's very important.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: And really, I feel like this comes back to what you were sharing on the business side of like that, you know, like honoring your sensitivity and your creativity and in your leadership is ultimately comes down to the ethos that you built the business around and knowing, you know, that's what you are stepping into and that's how you're making decisions from a leadership perspective.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we need that from motherhood too.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: We need to have that same clarity and awareness around, okay, what is our like mission in motherhood?
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and if that is your top priority, are you actually honoring it that in that way throughout your day?
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't mean, you know, that you are never, there's never a trade-off, that you're like missing out on every business opportunity just like because you have to be there for the kids.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I I I've missed, I remember missing um my daughter's like SK um little end of year, school year kind of song that they do.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just like a little park date and then they sing to all the parents.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's the cutest ever.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like I was so sad to miss it, but they I I wish they would plan it a little more ahead of time.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I had something, a big commitment, a big work commitment that day.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I just, you know, had to miss it.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: And luckily, like Luke was able to go and he took the video.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not saying that I'm I don't miss things and that there's not a trade-off, but I won't miss the really important things, you know, and like those will always be the priority.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: I I've shared this a couple of times, and this idea is not my idea, but it's something that I've learned through owning a business is the idea of even overs and knowing that and understanding that about, you know, one in my business, what the even overs are, but also in my personal life has been very, very helpful.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it's essentially having two good things that would rub up against each other and knowing which one you would choose even over the other, right?
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, reflecting back on the journey that I've talked about, it was things like I want to do bedtime even over a potential opportunity that wants to talk at 7 p.m.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or I want to, you know, be in community even over something else, right?
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: So like it, but it's two good things.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: They can't be one good thing and one bad thing because that's just obvious.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: But in business and in life, all the time, two great things often bump up against each other.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of the times it's family versus a great opportunity or two great opportunities against each other, right?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_01: And being able to have a tool where you already know and you've already decided what you would pick makes that decision making a lot easier.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's one of the things that causes us the most stress is like making decisions, right?
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so having something that you can rely on that makes decision making a little bit easier is super helpful.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: That feels like such an aha moment for me.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not that it's like a brand new concept, but really just the awareness that, you know, we talk about wanting more ease in our business, knowing that like it's not easy, but like building a business is not easy, but we we uh want to call in more ease.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: But really, that ease comes from the clarity around the what your priority is, what your mission is, what your purpose is.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you're clear on those pieces, decisions do become easy when you are following your truth and you're staying really honest with yourself.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to remind myself that all the time.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's so many things.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_01: I would be lying if I didn't think, you know, I'm gonna come up with just a new AI personality that exists, and my whole social media is AI, and that's gonna monetize faster than anything I could do as an authentic human, but I'm incredibly anxious and I struggle like all the time.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_01: But having those things, knowing those things, that's changed everything for me.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: So when I think about, hey, do I want to drop everything and become AI online?
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: It'd be like, no, yeah, yeah.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: That is not aligned with what I want to do because it's not aligned with the priorities that I've set out for myself and the way that I make decisions or the values that I have.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's talk more about like building your business with your partner.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, I think we can both relate having done this now for a while, where we've been in business with our partners, and then we're also partnered in parenting.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we've been married for a while.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're in this season that I'm very aware of.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I remember, you know, in the early days, kind of even just like first having our first kid when people would you'd hear this stuff about like how it could impact your marriage.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't feel that way.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I actually feel more in love.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, like I the hormones were all working in my favor or in Luke's favor, I guess.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_00: But now I'm like, you know, now looking back at like all the things that we've been through together, and of course all the resilience we've built in that and and the trust and the knowing that like we can get through it.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: And um even actually last night we were having a conversation because one of the girls on Kennedy in Kennedy's dance class came up to her and just kind of her her grandpa had taken her to dance and she just said to Kennedy and I overheard her that her parents were separating.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think Kennedy would even my parents are divorced, and like Kennedy, you know, we've had that conversation a little bit, but I brought it up again later and I was like, Oh, did she talk about this?
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is also a friend who honestly has been having a little bit of difficulty at school.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_00: And immediately when I heard her say that, I was like, Oh, this explains so much.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was talking to Kennedy about it and just like, you know, helping her understand it too.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then and Luke was there as well.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: We were all in the kitchen, and she's like, Are you guys ever gonna get separated?
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_00: And just like the confidence that we were able to be like, no, no, but I also remember being a kid and thinking my parents would never get a divorce, and then it happened.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I just how do you nurture your marriage right now in this season when you know life and business and parenting feels like a lot a lot of the time?
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just real talk, like if I'd love to hear what season you're in in that partnership and what that looks like.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: I think that Steve and I are in a very unique situation because we've known each other for since we were 12.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: So well over half our lives.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have been intertwined ever since.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we have spent so much time together, sometimes to our detriment.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: But we are, yeah, our lives are just like so intertwined and they always have been.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_01: So we have this unique aspect to our partnership of the idea of time, right?
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_01: And all the changes that we've gone through together, the versions of ourselves that we've seen each other, the things we've handled together, the hard things we've done, the things we've experienced that, you know, you never want to, all of that we've done together.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have this lifetime of experience that has gotten us to where we are.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: So it's always really funny to me when people ask me about working with my partner, because for me, I'm like, it's quite easy.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because we have that though.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_01: We have this foundation, this basis that we have built over our whole lives.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_01: And that is unique.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I do like to make sure that people know that that's the lens I'm coming from.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's quite different than a much shorter relationship or even, you know, starting a business together just after you've gotten married, or like, you know, it's not quite the same.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um the things that we've learned and been able to build, the skills we've been able to build together, really deeply rooted in communication, being the biggest of all of them, um, have helped us, right?
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_01: So much in owning a business.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_01: Owning a business together feels easy compared to all the other shit that we've been through.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and because we are, we're so different, we know each other so well.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're able to really support each other in business.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: And we have two different roles.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: We don't really tell the other person what to do with their role.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, that's your thing, this is my thing.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's absolutely times I think we get annoyed with each other, um, especially like bringing it back to the human design.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like Steve is a manifestor and I'm a projector, and that could not be more different from each other.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, he's sparking up like new ideas at 7 p.m.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, if anyone talks to me at this point, like it's not gonna be okay.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: We don't operate even on like the same scale schedules and stuff, but we don't force any of that.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that makes it work.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's like he's got his things and I've got mine, and you know, we we do work together on the vision, though.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: That is something that we have to be aligned on.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: And that again, I think comes back to all that clarity we've been talking about and being on the same page about the priorities, knowing that if he makes a decision, I'm gonna be on the same page because we already know that these are the things that matter, these are the goals that we're working towards.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, so yeah, for us, it feels like inevitable that we would have started a business together because we're together 24-7 anyways.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_01: We might as well.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that so much.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm glad you brought up the human design piece because I wanted to speak to that as well.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, maybe for either of you, but especially for you as a projector, like, did you feel like there was a really aha moment when you discovered your human design?
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_00: I love asking projectors this question uh out of anyone.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I also like I just want to acknowledge, too, that, you know, the all the hats that you wear and like all the businesses that you have is very many-gen of you.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's late.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_00: But funny enough, like I also feel like I have a lot of projector tendencies too that I resonate with.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: And again, when I did a deeper reading, I that shows up in my chart.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: There, I remember her saying that like there were parts in my chart that actually leaned a little bit more into projector energy.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, because I absolutely resonate with Manny Jen, but like part of me was like, Where like there, I have a little projector, you know, hiding in there.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to just hear kind of your own experience with that and how it's shaped how you lead and and how you approach business and motherhood ultimately.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: I never lived my life as a projector until I knew that I was one.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I think a lot of the habits that I have and the tendencies that I have even to like have three businesses, which is so not like a projector thing, is because of how I lived before.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think that I probably was living more like a manny gen um for most of my life.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_01: And not because I knew that, like I just didn't know anything about human design and I was following different versions of success and different paths and the way that I'd seen things done and just trying to emulate it, right?
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_01: And when I found out that I was a project, I was like, whoa.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_01: This it was the most accurate description of how I really felt inside.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: It felt like an acknowledgement of all those pieces of myself that I felt like I'd had to ignore, the sensitivity, you know, the could be creativity, the artist, all of those things that I felt like I had to kind of hide were being shown back to me through this projector light.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: And there was, there's been so many things I've learned about myself as well, the more that I dive into it.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I still have so much to learn about human design.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: But being a projector has been the permission that I have needed to, I think, step into the more authentic version of who I really am and to feel like it's okay and and not to use it as an excuse, right?
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, this is just who I am or or how I am now.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_01: But like that idea of permission is really strong for me of, oh, you know, there there's a lot more going on beneath the surface here, and there's a lot that you could be doing to live more like who you really are, you know.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I I, you know, every opportunity that I learn more about human design in particular, I find it to be one of the most helpful tools to have in relationships with people.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: So in my relationship with Steve, with my son, who's also a Leo projector, literally like me, which is also like a bit of a funny conundrum.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_01: But um, we are the exact same.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then even with all of my friends or business relationships or with our team, being able to have an understanding of like how people are, how they like to work, when they do their best work, and that it may not be the same as you is so helpful.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I totally agree.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I lean on it so much, especially with my team too.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, my kids are both generators and Luke and I are both Manny Jen.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, I'm, you know, it's really shaped even just Kennedy's Virgo energy.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, she loves having responsibilities and like feeling like she is, you know, giving value.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_00: But then it's also that fine line of not defining her value and worth through what she produces.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, um, but also I find it fascinating with like family and friends, you know, that maybe aren't aware as into human design or weren't even aware of it.
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had family members that I thought for sure this person was a Manny Jen because of how they operated their entire life and found out they were a projector.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like this explains everything.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: You have been so out of alignment.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder you are just constantly exhausted.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, so I I feel very grateful to have had these resources and discovered human design when we did, because generations before us didn't have that knowledge.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like imagine as a projector living your whole life like a manny gen.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's crazy.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I even think about, you know, in our relationship before having this uh level of understanding for each other, like there's so many things that we would piss each other off and that you just like couldn't understand because you're I think before you can have that understanding of other people, we're very trapped in ego.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_01: And we think that, oh, okay, you know, whatever this person is doing is a reflection of me.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_01: But just was thinking that, like, you know, there's times when um even thinking about the business before we knew about our human design, that Steve would be wanting to continue to work on something or continue to talk about something or keep going deep on something.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I just didn't have the capacity to continue the conversation.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that would offend him, right?
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_01: It would offend me that he wasn't giving me space.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so we would butt heads over it, but really we just didn't have the understanding to be able to show more love and empathy in those scenarios.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just, yeah, such a powerful tool that I think helps us to treat each other so much better.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_00: That I feel like that goes right into this question that you know I have to ask you.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that is who does your favorite self feel like in this season of life of business of motherhood for you?
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy to be asked this question today and not like, you know, a few years ago, because I do feel like I am so much more my favorite self these days than I have been in a long time.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think my favorite self right now knows what her priorities are and actively lives in alignment with those priorities.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_01: And they really are family, creativity.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_01: Those are like the two things that really stand out at the top that I didn't always give myself the permission to celebrate in the way that I do now.
• 1:04:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so my favorite self is is really living to the fullest in those two realms.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love that so much.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Jeanette, for everything that you've shared.
• 1:04:44
  SPEAKER_00: And just yeah, I I mean, we could go on forever.
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to admit, there were times I forgot we were even recording.
• 1:04:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like so into this conversation, and I know it will really resonate with so many who, you know, can relate to the sensitivity, to the creativity, to the projector side of things, or just like balancing, you know, finding that sweet spot in their relationships, whether it's with family, with team, with their kids, and really getting clear on those priorities, on that vision for their life ultimately and where and how they want to spend their time and energy.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for sharing with us.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can you tell everybody where they can find you and connect with you?
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_01: I've loved every second of this conversation and it was so easy as always to talk to you.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to connect with everyone, anyone listening, anything that I've said that's resonated with you.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_01: The best and easiest place to find me is on Instagram at Hey Neti Baby, which always makes me laugh.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_01: But I had to have a handle that I couldn't take too seriously to enjoy showing up on social.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_01: So come find me there.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I would love to connect with you.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to go deeper on any of the things that we've shared today or have any questions, I'm here for you.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that tip.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you were fine, you're uh taking yourself too seriously on Instagram, maybe switch the handle up.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's time.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_00: All right, amazing.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much, Jeanette.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you everywhere next week.
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_00: If this episode stirred something in you, there's a reason for it.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_00: You could take a moment to share with a friend, someone who's also building something brave.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_00: That would mean so much to me.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_00: Better yet, leave a review.
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_00: It helps this message reach even more women who are ready to lead differently.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_00: And before you go, remember this your favorite self is already within you, waiting to be heard.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.