Latest / The Realtor Who Wines / Empowering Self-Protection - Protect Yourself Physically, Emotionally, and Legally

Transcript

Empowering Self-Protection - Protect Yourself Physically, Emotionally, and Legally · The Realtor Who Wines

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Realtor Who Wines podcast.
• 0:02
  I'm Rashelle Newmeyer, your hostess with the most as a student of life, a connector, a passionate wine enthusiast, and your local favorite guide.
• 0:10
  Join me as we explore the vibrant Pacific Northwest.
• 0:14
  Savor the finest wines and champion the spirit of entrepreneurship.
• 0:18
  Each episode, I'll sit down with inspiring guests, supporting business ownership and uncovering the stories that make this community unique.
• 0:26
  So grab a glass of wine, settle in, and let's embark on a journey of discovery and connection together. Cheers.
• 0:32
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:33
  Welcome back to the realtor who whines.
• 0:35
  I'm Rachelle Neumeyer, your realtor who whines.
• 0:38
  And today we are in beautiful Dayton, Oregon.
• 0:41
  If you hear any of background noise, we are sitting outside because we have a beautiful vineyard at Domaine Serene behind us.
• 0:47
  And I'm joined here with Jessica.
• 0:49
  I'm very excited to have you today. Cheers.
• 0:52
  Thank you for being here.
• 0:57
  I would love for you to just go ahead and introduce yourself and tell everybody a little bit about you, and then we'll talk about the wine here in a minute. Yeah.
• 1:04
  So I'm Jessica Levin.
• 1:06
  I've been a safety educator for about eight and a half years with Dams on defense, all about empowering women to protect themselves and their loved ones. Yeah.
• 1:17
  So changing the statistics of violence against women.
• 1:21
  Absolutely. Which is so important.
• 1:23
  One of the reasons I wanted to have you on as I was a real estate agent, we are put in sticky situations all the time.
• 1:30
  I tend to make a joke out of it, but it's also so serious.
• 1:33
  But I joke that my mom always told me not to talk to strangers.
• 1:37
  And now, as a grown up, I meet strangers at strangers houses.
• 1:40
  Yeah, I'm like, oh, this is totally safe.
• 1:43
  So I like, educating and having people like you talk about safety, ways to stay safe.
• 1:50
  And so not just other realtors out there, but just women in general.
• 1:54
  So like, what are some tips and tricks just off the cuff that you would normally give a lady, like walking to her car or being out by herself.
• 2:02
  So being situationally aware of your surroundings and people around you, that's number one.
• 2:08
  Because you always need to know what's going on, right?
• 2:11
  If you're distracted with your headphones and or, your phone in your face, you're not going to be aware of who's coming up behind you.
• 2:21
  Sure.
• 2:21
  And, predators use that surprise element to take advantage of the situation.
• 2:27
  And they're really looking for those people that are not paying attention.
• 2:31
  Absolutely.
• 2:32
  I always try to in my prior life before I was in real estate, I worked retail or and sales and stuff.
• 2:37
  I always try to park near like a like, so like I wasn't looking to like the parking lot in the dark, just little things like that really help.
• 2:45
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 2:46
  The other thing is, you know, we were always told, you know, to, or at least my mom would always say, you know, when you're walking to your car, call me.
• 2:55
  And so I know you're okay, right? Yeah.
• 2:57
  They actually interviewed prisoners and asked them if that deters them.
• 3:03
  And this.
• 3:04
  When I heard this, it just gave me chills.
• 3:07
  Their answer was no.
• 3:08
  It gets them excited because now they have an audience.
• 3:11
  Oh my gosh, listen to what they're going to do.
• 3:14
  Oh, right.
• 3:16
  I hate everything about that. Right.
• 3:18
  Oh gosh. Yeah.
• 3:19
  So not even being on the phone, you want nothing around you to distract you from what's going on.
• 3:25
  Yeah yeah.
• 3:27
  Oh my goodness.
• 3:27
  And the other thing is to accept the fact that it can happen to you.
• 3:31
  I hear it so many times that, you know, I live in a safe neighborhood or, you know, nothing's ever happened around here.
• 3:39
  When in reality, the only time you hear about it on the news is if there is a murder or a kidnaping.
• 3:46
  Right.
• 3:46
  Something you don't hear about all those other times when it was attempted or it actually happened?
• 3:52
  Yeah.
• 3:52
  Sexual assault happens every 68 seconds in this country.
• 3:57
  Like a nine, nine out of ten are women.
• 4:00
  And every nine minutes as a child.
• 4:02
  Nah, I just isn't that disgusting.
• 4:04
  Yes. It's absolutely. Yeah.
• 4:07
  We're all about prevention and trying to you know, we don't want to scare anybody into.
• 4:12
  Yeah, but I just being in the news is smart being in it.
• 4:15
  Knowledge is power right? Yes.
• 4:17
  We always heard that.
• 4:18
  So when you know better you do better.
• 4:21
  And so that's what are all about what are some tips that you get.
• 4:24
  So I have Rylan who's nine.
• 4:27
  What are some tips I could use in helping like teach her and being aware as a child.
• 4:32
  Like what are some?
• 4:33
  I know that you do a lot of classes and seminars and stuff with parents and women, but like, what are some of those trap like tips and tricks that you guys?
• 4:41
  Yeah.
• 4:41
  So that age group, we're actually younger too.
• 4:44
  It's not about stranger danger.
• 4:46
  How we were taught growing up.
• 4:48
  Actually, 95% of the time it's, somebody they know, and it can be an acquaintance of the family.
• 4:55
  It can.
• 4:56
  And predators know how to groom the entire family to get close to the child, which is super scary.
• 5:04
  So it's about trusting their instincts and learning about their intuition, which you, you know, that's with all of us.
• 5:12
  We have to use our intuition.
• 5:13
  If you feels wrong, it probably is.
• 5:16
  Something's up.
• 5:16
  And so, teaching her how we have some books and a board game that teaches kids in tricky situations, we call them because there's tricky people.
• 5:26
  It's not absolute stranger danger. Right.
• 5:29
  And they talk about their intuition as their heart signal.
• 5:33
  So whether they're getting a funny feeling in their tummy or, they just don't feel good or something feels off, that is to help them listen to that.
• 5:44
  And and practice the situational awareness with them.
• 5:48
  You know, like ask them questions about would you teacher have on what color was her shirt today.
• 5:52
  Yeah, things like that.
• 5:55
  And that can help her growing up too.
• 5:58
  Yeah.
• 5:58
  And to always know don't you don't keep secrets from you.
• 6:02
  Right.
• 6:02
  Because that's another thing is they're going to ask you to keep a secret.
• 6:06
  Yeah. I've talked to her about that a lot.
• 6:08
  I think that's really important for parents.
• 6:10
  Like it's a weird conversation.
• 6:12
  And also if, like, your child is, like, oblivious, right, to that, which is great, but at the same time, like, you don't want them to be caught off guard or really not be understanding that this had happened.
• 6:23
  So I do have those conversations with Rylan and I talked to her about I don't care what you do or what happens, I will never be mad if you come and tell me about something.
• 6:34
  And sometimes bad people tell you don't tell your mom.
• 6:38
  She'll be really mad that you did this.
• 6:40
  I will never be mad if you come tell me because I want her to just, like, feel comfortable no matter what it is like.
• 6:46
  Come tell me about it.
• 6:48
  And so, yeah, it's hard.
• 6:50
  It's like you do that well.
• 6:51
  And I think if you have those conversations early, it will help too.
• 6:55
  And like right now she believes me and I just hope it like sticks in her brain when she's like 17 or something.
• 7:01
  You know, like if something happens later still come tell me like even segment my mom would, you know, back in the day, this is aging me a little bit, but give me a quarter and say, you know, call me anytime you need a pickup.
• 7:14
  Yeah. I don't care what time of day or night it is.
• 7:16
  If you need me to come get you, I will come get you.
• 7:18
  No questions asked. Yeah, absolutely.
• 7:21
  It's the same type of thing, you know.
• 7:23
  And and with children, the earlier the better.
• 7:25
  You have those conversations.
• 7:27
  As soon as they're, they're verbal, they recommend having those conversations.
• 7:31
  Yeah.
• 7:31
  One that's hard. IRA, do you remember the first time we were kind of having the stranger danger?
• 7:36
  Because my daughter knows no stranger.
• 7:37
  She'll walk up and be like, hi, I'm Rylan, I'm this just, you know, favorite color.
• 7:41
  My mom is this and we live at this house.
• 7:43
  I'm like, she'll tell you everything in the first like 30s.
• 7:46
  And when she was 3 or 4, I was trying to be like, we don't have to tell everybody everything.
• 7:51
  Like, so we're in, I think we were at the Disney store and a woman walked by and Rylan goes, hi.
• 7:58
  And the lady went, hello?
• 7:59
  And Rylan does look, she don't even try to kidnap me.
• 8:01
  And I go, I'm sorry, we've been having those talks.
• 8:04
  Not everybody is going to try to kidnap you.
• 8:07
  Like I was just trying to be like, stay by mommy doctor.
• 8:10
  Cough like we don't just talk to every stranger.
• 8:13
  And then luckily, obviously the guy was like a mom.
• 8:15
  And so she's a start laughing says like, oh, you remember those days?
• 8:18
  No worries and stuff.
• 8:19
  I was like, right, it sounds like opposite.
• 8:22
  Like, so we'll talk a little bit about the like classes and seminars that you do.
• 8:28
  Yes. I have, various topics.
• 8:31
  I do everything from sex trafficking to online safety, dating safety and stalking violence.
• 8:38
  I teach on that prevention.
• 8:41
  You know, how to spot a predator.
• 8:46
  All kinds of different.
• 8:47
  I do realtor safety.
• 8:50
  I have one that's called sister safety, where it's more college or girls going into college for the first time is, they're four times more likely to be sexually assaulted.
• 8:59
  Yeah. College campuses.
• 9:02
  Well, I've seen some, like, really crazy things on, like, TikTok and Instagram Reels and stuff with college girls posting like this just happened, and I'm glad that my mom had told me to do x, y, z.
• 9:12
  I'm glad my dad told me this.
• 9:15
  So like, for example, someone like coming into like a target and being like, hey, what kind of car do you drive?
• 9:21
  And they're like, oh, a Toyota Corolla.
• 9:22
  And like, oh, I think your lights are on.
• 9:24
  But like, not to just give that information, be like, why?
• 9:26
  Why are you asking right. And stuff.
• 9:28
  And that's really because they're trying to get you back out in the parking lot, like with your guard down, because you're not looking for your car with the lights on or whatever, things like that.
• 9:36
  And I'm just like, oh gosh, they are hearing stories all the time.
• 9:39
  I actually had a guy, come to an event that I, I was doing a vendor event, and he told me recently that his daughter was in target in the bathroom, and a woman was trying to get her to leave with her.
• 9:54
  Actually had her arm around her and tried.
• 9:56
  And she said, she's 18, she's barely 100 pounds.
• 10:00
  And this woman was trying to get her to leave and they had it on video.
• 10:04
  Oh my God, this is all part of sex trafficking.
• 10:06
  Yeah, well, I think a lot of people don't realize that it is also women trying to like.
• 10:11
  Yes, because women are like, kids have their guards down around like men or other women.
• 10:15
  Adult women. Yeah. Trust other women. Right.
• 10:18
  And there's the same thing with, like, somebody may be coming to your front door.
• 10:22
  They'll use women to knock on your door because you're more likely to open it for another woman.
• 10:27
  It's the same thing.
• 10:28
  You can't trust anyone.
• 10:30
  You know, my friends and neighbors all know if they want to see me, they got to call first.
• 10:34
  I don't open the door for anybody.
• 10:36
  And I taught my kids all to do that as well.
• 10:39
  Because you just never know what their intentions are.
• 10:41
  And not to mention, I don't like the salespeople, so.
• 10:45
  Yeah, that's only part of that.
• 10:46
  Everybody, for sure.
• 10:48
  I know that you have three daughters was getting into, protection and self-defense and things.
• 10:56
  Were they part of your inspiration or. Why?
• 10:58
  Of wanting to do it. Yeah.
• 10:59
  So, eight and a half years ago, I came across a vendor event and someone with damsel was there.
• 11:07
  I, I had been looking for items because I had three daughters, and they were younger, much younger than, so it was very accidental.
• 11:16
  And all I was looking for was the cheapest way to get four of everything.
• 11:21
  So they're like, yeah, I'm going to need four of everything.
• 11:24
  It's the cheapest way for me to do this.
• 11:26
  She's like, buy the kit.
• 11:27
  I said, but I don't want to sell this.
• 11:29
  I just want yeah, no, no, no.
• 11:31
  Buy the kits the cheapest way you can buy your stuff at wholesale.
• 11:34
  You don't have to sell anything.
• 11:36
  Oh, okay, I'll do that.
• 11:38
  And I did that for almost two years.
• 11:40
  Just buying stuff for gifts, giving away.
• 11:43
  And before you know it, their friends were going, my friend wants this and my friend wants that.
• 11:48
  I'm like, okay, I think I can sell.
• 11:51
  Yeah, it's for anybody that doesn't know it.
• 11:53
  Dansville defenses, will you just give a brief introduction?
• 11:56
  Yeah.
• 11:57
  So damsel has been around for 14 years, almost 14 years.
• 12:01
  And again all about protection and empowering women to groom themselves.
• 12:06
  And it was started by a mom of a daughter, and the mom had been abused as a child.
• 12:13
  Now she had this in mind, and there was nothing out there for women at the time.
• 12:19
  And then it's just grown into more education.
• 12:22
  And so that's where we came up with, all the other topics that we train on.
• 12:27
  Yeah. As well.
• 12:28
  Do you have like a full catalog of safety products and things like that?
• 12:33
  Do you want to talk a little bit about the different products?
• 12:35
  Yeah, everything from stun guns and pepper spray to alarms, bulletproof panels for your backpacks, concealed carry purses.
• 12:46
  And we also have this amazing item that has shield technology, which is something that touched down.
• 12:52
  So we've created, it's basically I say like it's having your bat signal gel when you were a kid watching Batman.
• 13:01
  Yeah.
• 13:02
  So we have three products that work with an app that we created and it's called Shield Technology.
• 13:08
  And when you activate either of the products, it sends your GPS location out to your five emergency contacts through the app via Bluetooth, and it continuously sends it every minute until you send a safe message.
• 13:23
  And you need a four digit Pin for the safe method so no one can do it for you and there's no subscription.
• 13:29
  You buy the product and the app is free.
• 13:32
  Oh, that's so cool. Yeah.
• 13:33
  So is it wearable technology then?
• 13:35
  Like added a necklace or.
• 13:36
  And so we have a keychain alarm that has a silent alarm button.
• 13:40
  We have a panic button.
• 13:42
  And then we also have a pepper spray that works with it.
• 13:45
  So cool.
• 13:46
  And so I actually gave my mom the panic button to use like life alert.
• 13:50
  Oh sure, she just wears it on her bra and a life alert charges over $100 a month.
• 13:55
  And so now we have.
• 13:57
  Yeah, my sister and I, my husband and all.
• 13:59
  You know that the contacts that can get to her, the old commercial.
• 14:02
  I fall fallen and I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do it.
• 14:05
  So that was a real thing and it is.
• 14:06
  So yeah, they really do fall and they really can't get up.
• 14:10
  Yeah.
• 14:10
  And you know and it's serious if they do father.
• 14:14
  Yeah we won't go into that but.
• 14:15
  Oh for sure. Yeah.
• 14:17
  What are like if someone was just getting started and was like what are your top two products that I should have or a top three, like what would be like the go to that?
• 14:25
  You tell everybody to at least have this in your purse or keychain.
• 14:28
  So again, the panic button.
• 14:31
  Let me show you my stun gun. My favorite.
• 14:35
  This is our actually our number one seller.
• 14:37
  And they come in pretty colors.
• 14:39
  But, are you going to feel how light it is?
• 14:41
  Oh, my gosh, that's way lighter than I anticipated.
• 14:44
  And it's a flashlight like so.
• 14:44
  Yeah too. Yes.
• 14:47
  So it's a nice bright flashlight that works without.
• 14:49
  But it also has a disable pin that you snap in the bottom.
• 14:55
  So when you snap it in the bottom the red light comes on.
• 15:00
  I don't know if you can hear it.
• 15:02
  Yeah. I'm sure you can hear that.
• 15:03
  Yeah.
• 15:04
  Now if they take it from me and the pin comes out in doesn't work. Oh.
• 15:07
  So it'll only work if the pins on. Yeah.
• 15:09
  So they can't turn around and use it on you as a weapon.
• 15:12
  Kind of.
• 15:13
  So that's our number one seller.
• 15:15
  And then the panic button.
• 15:17
  Those two I recommend highly.
• 15:21
  And then is this one, is that for like breaking a window or.
• 15:25
  No it's not actually a striking tool okay.
• 15:28
  Gives you 20 times your force so you don't have to be strong or anything.
• 15:31
  This will get anybody off of you.
• 15:34
  It's also the only thing I carry that could be lethal for you.
• 15:37
  Get in the head neck area. So.
• 15:39
  Yeah. Good to know.
• 15:40
  You know how we are told to put your keys in between your fingers?
• 15:43
  Well, this is a better option.
• 15:45
  Keys can cause permanent nerve damage.
• 15:48
  So you don't want to do that.
• 15:50
  And this, you can use the top or the bottom and get in any direction.
• 15:54
  So funny story.
• 15:55
  My other set has my locker key on it.
• 15:58
  And one day I was in a rush opening my locker, and I flipped it around.
• 16:02
  And when I did that, this hit me on my top floor.
• 16:06
  Oh, my lips swelled up so fast.
• 16:08
  Or Nolan and purple for a week.
• 16:10
  Did you just, like, fake it when people were like, what happened?
• 16:13
  Me like, I told you, don't mess with me.
• 16:15
  I told you I could defend myself.
• 16:18
  I would have been telling everybody that second down in the parking lot.
• 16:21
  Yeah, that's right.
• 16:23
  It wasn't the water.
• 16:24
  Yeah, it was it myself by myself in the locker room.
• 16:27
  No big deal.
• 16:28
  My husband was very thankful.
• 16:28
  He was out of town that week.
• 16:30
  He was like, oh my God, people are going to think I'm letting you, you know, like we should see him, right?
• 16:37
  He didn't get away.
• 16:39
  I know too that you have other reasons for wanting to get into self-defense and educating women.
• 16:47
  Do you want to talk about that at all or.
• 16:50
  Yeah, sure.
• 16:51
  So, it it wasn't until I had been doing downhill for about five years, I, I loved it.
• 17:01
  I just thought this was my passion.
• 17:03
  I love protecting women.
• 17:06
  And I hear all the stories.
• 17:07
  Like I said, women share their stories of me.
• 17:10
  So I thought I was empowering women.
• 17:12
  And after about five years, I realized the women were empowering me to get my voice back.
• 17:18
  I had been assaulted almost 41 years ago.
• 17:25
  Exactly.
• 17:28
  I had gone with a I had come home from the for the weekend from college, and an acquaintance friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go out.
• 17:37
  She said, we're gonna go watch a band practice in their basement.
• 17:41
  We got some friends and a bunch of us are going, you want to come?
• 17:44
  I said, okay, sure.
• 17:46
  Pretty normal college kid activity, right?
• 17:48
  And I was, very naive at the time.
• 17:53
  Let's just say that.
• 17:54
  And, I had not been drinking.
• 17:57
  I was drinking Diet Coke and having pizza.
• 18:00
  Watch the band practice for a couple hours.
• 18:03
  And back then it was cruisin.
• 18:05
  82nd was a big deal.
• 18:07
  So, we'll head out.
• 18:07
  And they took a break.
• 18:10
  We headed out to the car, and as I'm going to the car, the lead singer of the band says, hey, you want to ride in my car?
• 18:17
  And he had this little two seater sports car, and I was like, oh my gosh, what do you mean? Yeah, right.
• 18:22
  I never got that attention.
• 18:24
  So I was like, are you talking to me, Lily?
• 18:26
  So I did, and you made a big deal about me riding in his car.
• 18:31
  Then we came back and the band started playing again, and then I went to the restroom and I heard the band stop.
• 18:39
  And when I came out of the restroom, he was standing there with two beers, and he handed me one.
• 18:44
  So I took a sip or two.
• 18:47
  And then these are kissing me.
• 18:49
  And then his hands start going everywhere.
• 18:51
  And I said, stop, wait, wait.
• 18:53
  And before you know, it, I maybe had like this much of my share.
• 18:57
  Like being like, honey, any, it felt like I was yelling and nothing was coming out and I couldn't push him off anymore.
• 19:05
  I had bricks on my arms and then everything went black.
• 19:10
  And next thing I know, I'm waking up in his bed naked to clearly no idea what happened for the 4 or 5 hours that I was out.
• 19:19
  Right?
• 19:20
  My friend had left me there.
• 19:22
  Turns out she was jealous that she had a crush on the guy and I didn't know.
• 19:26
  Oh, gosh.
• 19:27
  And then I had to ask him for a ride home because I had no idea where I was.
• 19:31
  It was not long after we moved to Oregon.
• 19:34
  I got home, grabbed my stuff, showered, and asked my mom to take me back to school, went back to school, never went back to class.
• 19:43
  Dropped out of school.
• 19:45
  Not started a ten year spiral.
• 19:47
  My life out of control.
• 19:49
  Depression. Worthless.
• 19:51
  You know, dirty feeling, shame.
• 19:53
  And when a lot of victims feel shame.
• 19:55
  Which is why I'm really glad that you're sharing your story.
• 19:59
  Because I hope anyone listening has ever gone through anything like this.
• 20:02
  Knows, like, you have no shame to feel like you're a victim.
• 20:06
  Yeah.
• 20:06
  And, like, share your story.
• 20:08
  Seek the help that you need.
• 20:10
  Find the healing that you need and the healthiest way possible.
• 20:13
  And that you can do it.
• 20:15
  Clearly, you've done it, you know? Yeah.
• 20:17
  For ten years, my life spiraled out of control.
• 20:20
  And, you know, and then I realized I had two little girls that were watching me in this relationship that I was teaching them how a man supposed to treat them.
• 20:29
  You know, because once you're a victim, it's really hard to get out of that victim mentality and not be victimized over and over again.
• 20:36
  Yeah.
• 20:37
  So I finally left and started working on me and trying to figure out why what happened that led or near down that path and realizing that was the trigger point. And, yeah.
• 20:49
  And then I just found Jamsil and got my voice back.
• 20:52
  And actually earlier this year, I was at an event and there was a couple of women from Beaverton police that were there, and I shared my story with, Officer Amanda at Beaverton police station, and she asked me if I ever reported it, and I said no.
• 21:10
  So I was like, who's going to believe me, right? Yeah.
• 21:13
  I have no proof of this.
• 21:14
  I, I don't even know what happened.
• 21:17
  Half of it.
• 21:18
  I can't remember what her. Right.
• 21:19
  Yeah.
• 21:20
  She's like I said, by the way, it's been over 40 years.
• 21:24
  Why would I report it now?
• 21:25
  She said, well, because you would be helping somebody else if there's a victim out there, which it sounds like he's a predator and he's done this since, and the other, you know, if there's a victim that has a case, you would be helping them with their case.
• 21:40
  So I actually filed my police report in March.
• 21:44
  Oh my gosh, good for you. Yeah.
• 21:46
  I was scared to death.
• 21:47
  And, they were amazing.
• 21:50
  From the person that answered the phone to the detective that took my story just they were amazing.
• 21:57
  And that's not what I expected.
• 21:59
  Yeah, I expected questioning.
• 22:02
  You're like, why now? Why are we waiting now?
• 22:05
  Yeah, yeah, I feel like because Officer Amanda told me to.
• 22:09
  Yeah, but yeah, like.
• 22:12
  And I do think that, like, sometimes people think, well, now it's happened so long ago, I should say nothing. Right.
• 22:17
  And I think your story also just shares like it's not too late to share your story added more healing.
• 22:23
  Be doing that and just really putting a closure to it.
• 22:28
  Yeah okay I'm done.
• 22:30
  Now I don't have to carry that weight.
• 22:33
  So yeah I know friend of mine runs a company for domestic survivors and we talk a lot about also domestic abuse.
• 22:43
  And she was saying most domestic survivors always say, well, someone else had it worse, so they don't share their story or they don't like, look at it because in their mind they're like, well, I walked away or I wasn't hospitalized.
• 22:54
  I was on this.
• 22:55
  But like their story, Zellers, how are you?
• 22:58
  And it's still terrible. Yeah.
• 23:00
  But like two years ago, I was like, well, I can't remember most of it.
• 23:02
  You know, I'm really not a victim, right?
• 23:05
  You know, but even though I know I was victimized, I just I didn't feel like I was worthy of telling anyone.
• 23:12
  Yeah, because I didn't have it as bad one.
• 23:15
  It's hard to like.
• 23:16
  So with anybody with teenagers out there and remembering being a teenager, a lot of people don't take teenagers seriously.
• 23:23
  So then we don't think to share those stories too.
• 23:25
  So I so it's just so important to like have these kind of conversations with teens in your life, whether they're your kids or your nieces and nephews or whoever they are, to make them feel safe and that, like, you will take them seriously if they come to you with something like, yes, because you felt like, well, no one's going to believe me anyway.
• 23:43
  Like why bother?
• 23:45
  Yeah. Exactly.
• 23:46
  Exactly. And yeah.
• 23:49
  So we tell we tell women or and teens, you know when I talk to teens I tell them you tell, tell an adult.
• 23:56
  And if that person doesn't listen you go to another adult.
• 24:00
  You keep telling until someone believes you.
• 24:03
  Yeah.
• 24:04
  Don't don't stop just because one doesn't believe you.
• 24:08
  Well and to your point, you're not just like getting justice for yourself, but you're helping somebody else not experience what you experience because most likely they are going to do it again.
• 24:18
  And then also just go out in groups like no Girlfriend Left Behind.
• 24:23
  You guys like that never leave a girlfriend.
• 24:26
  You know what your friends are like when they drink, and you know if they're acting way out of out of it.
• 24:32
  Like they had a lot to drink.
• 24:34
  And, you know, they didn't get them out of there.
• 24:37
  Take them home and and check on each other too, you know?
• 24:40
  But you go together.
• 24:41
  You leave together. Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:44
  I don't know what the statistic is today, but I remember when I was in college, which was not yesterday, unfortunately, but, it was like 1 in 4 girls will get roofied and I was roofied three times in college, and I was like, man, I don't know if I just have gullible on my forehead or what or but like, luckily I had girlfriends that never left a girl behind.
• 25:06
  And one time I was the Rd, so I was drinking water.
• 25:08
  So I don't know, someone messed somebody else's app and it fell on my cup.
• 25:12
  Or what can I say, it can be in water.
• 25:14
  Yeah, it can be in anything.
• 25:17
  It's odorless and tasteless, so you'll never know if you are roofied.
• 25:21
  Yeah.
• 25:21
  And when it happened to me, this, I didn't even know what roofie was.
• 25:26
  That was way back in the day.
• 25:27
  Nobody talked to revert to what you said earlier.
• 25:29
  You just assume like, oh, this will happen to me.
• 25:31
  This is a great neighborhood or whatever. Exactly.
• 25:34
  And it wasn't until many years later I'm watching an SVU episode, and that was the episode.
• 25:40
  She was roofied and I was like, oh my God, that's what happened to me.
• 25:44
  And I had to like, he did that.
• 25:47
  Yeah.
• 25:48
  And well, and luckily, like in all three of my scenario, by the third time, I was like, damn it, because I already knew what it felt like, like as soon as I started to get sick and the symptoms and like, are you kidding me again?
• 25:59
  But, I just instantly went to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, which is always a fun time.
• 26:04
  But yeah, my friends instantly were like, what's going on?
• 26:08
  Yeah, like, I don't feel like I, I don't know, I swear I've just been drinking water because I promise to be the.
• 26:13
  Yeah. So yeah, it's just crazy.
• 26:15
  But I have good friends with you anywhere you go.
• 26:17
  Yes, definitely. Yeah.
• 26:19
  What is, something that you hope people will take away from you sharing your message?
• 26:27
  Oh, my gosh.
• 26:29
  No. Sorry. Okay, that's a hard one.
• 26:31
  I know, you know, just accept the fact that it can happen to you.
• 26:36
  That's my biggest thing.
• 26:38
  I hear so many people.
• 26:40
  Well, just when you hear about stories on the news, you know.
• 26:43
  Oh, I never saw this coming.
• 26:45
  Or, you know, this has always been a safe neighborhood.
• 26:48
  It's the same thing, you know, just awareness.
• 26:52
  That's all we're trying to spread.
• 26:53
  Yeah, it can happen to anyone.
• 26:56
  I actually had a 64 year old woman told me.
• 26:59
  Told me she was roofied at a casino.
• 27:01
  Oh my gosh. Yeah.
• 27:02
  So it can happen to anyone? Yeah. Any age.
• 27:05
  And it doesn't matter.
• 27:06
  The neighborhood.
• 27:10
  I we're even like the community.
• 27:12
  Like it could be.
• 27:13
  It happens that sometimes even at, like, the church or like you just at a casino.
• 27:18
  Like anywhere.
• 27:20
  I had a friend that moved here from Texas, and it wasn't till after they moved.
• 27:24
  And her daughter was a teen by then that she found out when they lived in Texas, their neighbors were like really good friends.
• 27:32
  They barbecue together.
• 27:33
  They went to church every week together for many years.
• 27:38
  After they moved here, they found out the daughter over there was abusing her daughter.
• 27:43
  Oh no. Because it was being done to her love.
• 27:46
  She was doing it to her daughter and she didn't know until after they moved here.
• 27:50
  Oh, so it doesn't matter how much you think you know somebody, you know, it's just, be aware and predators know how to work around and groom, like I said, the entire family.
• 28:04
  Yeah, I know it's hard right now.
• 28:07
  With Rylan, she really wants to have sleepovers, like, so bad.
• 28:12
  And, of course, I'm fine with anybody wanting to come to our house, but I.
• 28:15
  I totally understand why other parents would be like, no, thank you, because I'm the same way.
• 28:19
  And trying to explain that to her, she just doesn't get it.
• 28:22
  Like she just wants to have a sleepover.
• 28:24
  And then I kind of feel bad because I was fortunate that nothing crazy happened at sleepovers that I attended that I know of, but that was such a huge staple of my childhood and my adolescence.
• 28:34
  And like, so much fun and like, a lot of sisterhood building with your friends and stuff.
• 28:38
  So I kind of hate robbing her of that.
• 28:40
  But at the same time, I've just heard so many stories that I'm like, yeah, I just really struggle.
• 28:46
  And when I was growing up, that was the same thing with my mom wouldn't let me sleep over anywhere.
• 28:49
  But we could have all the friends at our house.
• 28:52
  And I did that with my kids, too.
• 28:54
  They can have as many kids if they want to rules, but they weren't going over to other people.
• 28:58
  Yeah, I don't know if you heard that story in Lake Oswego.
• 29:02
  That's what last year. I think it was.
• 29:05
  The girls went over to a sleepover at her friend's dad's house and there was like, cameras or something around them.
• 29:12
  Oh, no, I did not hear this story.
• 29:14
  See, this is what I'm talking about.
• 29:15
  Yeah, there were 12, 13. Oh my gosh.
• 29:18
  And he made them smoothies and made them drink it right before bed and in the middle of the night.
• 29:25
  And he came around to check if everybody was sleeping.
• 29:29
  He'd be, like, waving his hand in front of their faces.
• 29:32
  And one of the girls had not passed out like the other ones and texted her.
• 29:37
  Mom said, I don't feel good. Come pick me up.
• 29:39
  And she did.
• 29:41
  And, and they called the other parents to pick up the other girls, took them to the hospital, and they've been drugged.
• 29:47
  Oh, my gosh, that's so scary.
• 29:50
  Do better.
• 29:51
  People do better?
• 29:52
  Stop being creeps.
• 29:55
  Yeah.
• 29:56
  Well, I think the moral of just everything that we've talked about today is just being aware and being prepared and just having the conversations, but yourself being honest with yourself.
• 30:06
  Honest with your kids. Yeah, yeah.
• 30:09
  Is there any other messages that you'd like to share today?
• 30:12
  Any words of wisdom you'd like to pass on?
• 30:16
  I'm not good at other stuff.
• 30:17
  Oh, I think you're good at it.
• 30:23
  I have some classes coming up.
• 30:25
  I can share that with you later.
• 30:27
  Yeah.
• 30:27
  The schedule, but all my classes are free, and I just enjoying educating people.
• 30:34
  Do you?
• 30:34
  I know you do a lot of in-person stuff.
• 30:36
  Do you ever do online classes, too?
• 30:38
  Because people can be listening all over the world.
• 30:40
  Yeah, absolutely. I do zoom. Awesome.
• 30:44
  That's probably the best way because it can do the interaction where at least Book Live is just one way.
• 30:50
  So I don't get the questions. Live.
• 30:53
  Was I love zoom? Yeah.
• 30:56
  Because of that, we'll definitely tag all your contact information of people when I reach out about products and classes.
• 31:02
  That way they can definitely get Ahold of you.
• 31:04
  I really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing your story today, and I think that you're going to make a bigger impact on others, on you realize by being vulnerable and sharing that.
• 31:13
  So cheers to you.
• 31:15
  Thank you for having me.
• 31:16
  I appreciate you and thank you for listening and watching.
• 31:20
  Stay tuned. Cheers.