Latest / The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education / Home Educating UK Topic Challenge: Raising Brave Kids — Activism, Justice & Quiet Protest

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Home Educating UK Topic Challenge: Raising Brave Kids — Activism, Justice & Quiet Protest · The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education

0:15
Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of the big Home
0:18
Ed conversations. My name is Kelly Rigg.
0:20
I'm a home educating mum of two and a qualified mindset and ADHD
0:24
coach. I'm passionate about supporting
0:26
parents and neurodivergent families as they navigate
0:28
children not OK at school and ultimately then the transition
0:31
from mainstream schooling into home education.
0:34
I'm here together with my Co host Ashley Venario, A fellow
0:37
home Ed mum of three and former primary teacher.
0:39
We created the big Home Ed Conversations podcast with what
0:42
began as honest, heartfelt talks around the coffee table and it's
0:46
now grown into a space where hundreds of listeners now tune
0:48
in for real, unfiltered conversations about alternative
0:52
education, mindset and educational philosophies.
0:55
We cut through the noise and focus on what really matters to
0:57
home educating families. As you will know by now, this
1:01
season has been sponsored by Stru.
1:03
It's a home education logging app that was designed by a home
1:06
educating mum and her brother here in the UK.
1:10
We are really passionate on this podcast about supporting our
1:12
fellow home educating families as they create businesses and
1:15
essentially try to create income for them and their families
1:19
using the skills that they develop as home educating
1:22
parents as well. There's so much skill in raising
1:24
our children that ultimately so many of us really benefit from
1:28
accessing. They have told me today that
1:30
they are running a survey. So if you are now using this
1:34
Drew and you've been given it a try since you've been listening
1:37
to us talk about it or if you're considering doing so, they
1:40
basically suggested to us, we let you know that they are
1:42
running a survey at the moment that basically calls on you to
1:45
give them any ideas you've got about what you want Drew to
1:49
have. What do you like about it?
1:50
What don't you like about it? And essentially so that he can
1:54
take on those ideas and actually make some changes to the app and
1:57
add features that we think will be really useful for us as AUK
2:01
home educating community. And what I really love about
2:04
this is actually the fact that since I've been talking to Woody
2:08
since he first reached out to us, he has been so open to every
2:12
suggestion I've made. So many of them have already
2:14
been actually acted upon and have changed in the app itself.
2:18
But it helps him to kind of develop an understanding from a
2:21
user who's actually engaged and kind of interested in all the
2:24
features and paying attention to all the features.
2:26
He's really taken that information on board.
2:28
And I think it's really important to remember that if we
2:31
want these things to be beneficial to us as a community,
2:34
then having our say is really important.
2:36
And he really does want to hear it.
2:37
So if you go and fill out that survey, we'll make sure the link
2:40
is obviously in the description for this episode, but you'll
2:45
basically be in there to win £25 worth of Amazon vouchers.
2:48
So it's worth worth giving it a go and let them know what you
2:51
think. But I know that you've had some
2:54
brilliant ideas for it as well actually, haven't you?
2:55
And you sent some stuff over to him and he's been so receptive
2:58
to everything we've said so far. Yeah, it's definitely really
3:02
nice to have a back and forth with the developer and be able
3:06
to give that real time feedback and make it something that works
3:11
for you. And like you said, it's just
3:14
been such a reciprocal process, an experience and I think one
3:18
that sounds like if anyone else has great ideas, share them.
3:23
Because if you're thinking it, I'm sure at least a few other
3:25
moms or dads are thinking it too.
3:27
So it really don't, don't be shy, it benefits everyone.
3:31
For sure. So cracking up with this week's
3:35
topic then people. Well, I know that a lot of us
3:39
and the home educated community are already fairly active in the
3:43
political game. And I'd like, I think I'd say
3:47
that like honestly, because we, we fight hard for our rights and
3:51
we care an awful lot about maintaining our freedoms.
3:54
And so our kids by osmosis are probably picking up an awful lot
3:57
already about how important it is to have your say and to stand
4:00
with groups of people who are fighting for good in this world.
4:05
But I have to say I have always shield away from trying to take
4:08
them along to things like protests and things more from a
4:11
safety perspective, partly because they are neurodivergent
4:13
and crowds do overwhelm them. And I have always found myself
4:16
thinking that's going to end up being insanely stressful for all
4:19
of us. But what I did find interesting
4:22
as we started delving into this topic was how in awe they were
4:26
of some of the people we looked at and, and how such simple acts
4:30
sometimes could actually make such an impact.
4:35
And I think it really empowered them.
4:37
Actually. It's we've had some fantastic
4:40
exchanges back and forth talking about it and watching some
4:43
documentaries and, and doing some activities with them.
4:46
And I have to say, I've really felt like this is a great
4:50
empowering subject to kind of take with both hands and really
4:52
put some attention towards. How have your girls received it?
4:56
Actually, have they enjoyed it? I'll have to preface this with
4:59
we are traveling, so the amount of time that we have spent on
5:07
this is not equal to the prior weeks.
5:12
That said, I have heavily leaned into books for this.
5:17
Just sort of just like working into stuff that we are still
5:20
doing on our daily, like on the daily, which is, you know,
5:23
reading stories before bed and kind of just having ongoing
5:27
random conversations. So I don't think they really
5:31
realize that this is even something that I'm specifically
5:35
doing like on purpose. I think they're just like, oh,
5:37
mommy has new books for a story time.
5:40
But so one of the things that I did is I was like, OK, let me
5:44
let's think about like, what are the like characteristics of
5:50
people who are like social change leaders?
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And like, maybe then what I'm going to do is look into how to
5:59
build those characteristics in children.
6:04
Like what are some of the things that we might do to sort of
6:07
teach toward that, toward that core belief?
6:11
And so obviously, like strong sense of justice, courage,
6:17
integrity, like all these things that are kind of hard to teach.
6:22
They just sort of come through like modeling and experience and
6:26
kind of like family values that are like you said, kind of just
6:28
like through osmosis, like within our four walls, they're
6:31
going to, they're going to get. But so I I kind of went towards
6:38
like finding books about those people.
6:40
And if they happen to specify like that, actually like, who's
6:46
the one gal Greta is that? We had.
6:51
Yeah, I was trying to find a book about her that was like 4
6:54
kids, but I couldn't find one. And to be fair, I didn't dig too
6:58
deep. I just went to our library, into
7:00
a local bookstore and then I the GameStop there.
7:03
But I did go into like, do you got do you know in England, I
7:08
don't know if you have them the same, but they're like The Who
7:10
was books or The Who is books. Yeah.
7:13
There's lots of like the big ideas books as well, which are
7:16
really good, yeah. Yeah.
7:19
But so like, these ones focus specifically on a person.
7:22
So you can't like, who was George Washington, who is Barack
7:26
Obama? And like, it just depends on if
7:29
the, like, how it's worded, obviously, if the person is
7:31
still alive. I got this one that was who was
7:35
Booker T Washington, because I thought that was just a good one
7:38
about a former slave who became like a very influential speaker
7:45
and author and obviously like worked towards building
7:50
awareness on the injustices for African Americans.
7:54
So that was 1. And it was just sort of like,
7:55
again, going towards just building a good moral compass
7:58
and showing that there are people who are kind of like
8:01
standing up for rights who did that.
8:02
And then I did find this one really cute book called I am 1A
8:06
book of Action, which is really nice.
8:09
And it's definitely more of a like picture book, very like for
8:14
little kids, like little little kids.
8:16
But it's very cute and has great pictures.
8:19
And I got one book that I don't recommend unless you have older
8:27
children who are like OK with like pretty raw reality depicted
8:31
in books. I started reading it just myself
8:33
and I was like, OK, my kids aren't ready for this.
8:36
But it's called Refugee by Alan Gratz.
8:39
It's GRATZ and this is a story that follows 3 children and it
8:49
is really good. But like, the first chapter is
8:53
so intense that I was just like, OK, that I think that's for
8:58
older kids. But I was talking to my friend
9:00
about it and her son read it and he's 12.
9:04
So I think my 12 year old's not ready for it.
9:08
Yeah. I think emotional maturity and
9:10
if they'd be affected by it, I suppose it's good.
9:12
Idea to I just think she would have nightmares like I I just
9:15
think it would be really I don't know.
9:17
But then at the same time, it's like, oh, it would be good to
9:20
expose these children. I mean, the child in the book is
9:22
11, so. Yeah.
9:24
Exactly. It is reality that these that
9:27
children are faced with much sooner than like, you know what
9:29
our very privileged children just, you know, for having a
9:33
house and living in a place where they're not, you know,
9:36
we're not at war. It's not directly involving
9:39
them. I think what one of the things
9:41
which I found myself thinking as I was talking to my 2 about
9:44
this, because obviously they're still quite young as well, like
9:47
both under 10. And I was quite cautious of
9:49
trying to find, for example, a documentary that was actually
9:54
appropriate that it wasn't going to like something really graphic
9:56
or obviously very, very distressing to see.
10:01
Because I think initially when I was thinking about this is
10:03
actually, I've always said like what I always always found
10:06
myself thinking, well, what can one person do?
10:09
Like we can do the little things.
10:10
We can recycle and we can have good beliefs and we can make
10:15
sure we don't hurt animals and we can be a good person.
10:17
We can drive sensibly. We can try and be economic.
10:20
We can put solar panels on our roof.
10:22
Like we can do things. And absolutely all of those
10:24
little actions add up to something big.
10:26
But ultimately, I have always found myself wondering what to
10:29
protests really do. Like, how do people actually get
10:33
themselves really heard by the people who can actually make an
10:35
impact? And it was something which I did
10:37
find myself thinking too as I was talking to about things and
10:41
not wanting to really upset them.
10:43
But at the same time, as we were learning about Greta Tunberg,
10:46
for example, I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly.
10:49
She was super empowering. We did watch a short documentary
10:52
about her on Netflix. It was the the I think it's live
10:58
in Leeds. It's the one that's been Co
11:01
created with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
11:04
But I'll find out the proper one anyway.
11:05
I'll make sure I write it properly in the description.
11:08
But it was, it was a really good documentary.
11:11
I've we have rewatched, we've watched the Greta Thunberg
11:14
episode. That one is completely fine for
11:16
younger children. I'm just I'm assuming some of
11:18
the other ones might be for a bit more graphic because there
11:21
is rated 16 plus. So there might be some of the
11:24
episodes might be a bit more intense, but that one was it's
11:27
really good because it showed a child basically going on a
11:32
school strike and just sitting on the street with a sign that
11:35
says she was she was striking for climate change.
11:38
And essentially the number one thing that I really took from
11:41
what she was saying was that it's all about trust and belief.
11:47
That if we listen to our children and show them that we
11:51
are listening, that we hear them, that we care about what
11:54
they care about. And when they are interested in
11:58
something, learning about something, is concerned about
12:00
something that we don't just fob them off or say like, oh, well,
12:04
there's nothing you can do about that or like whatever.
12:07
It's that encouragement, I guess to kind of go, yeah, OK, I hear
12:11
you. That's something to be really
12:12
concerned about. What can we do about it?
12:14
Like what do you want to do about it?
12:16
And whether that's writing a letter to a company, whether
12:18
that's going and joining a protest, whether it's raising
12:21
some money by doing something out in the world I could a
12:24
charity run or something that. Yeah, I think the number one
12:27
thing really is to listen to them and to know that they are
12:30
worth listening to. And I honestly believe that that
12:33
that will help to foster anything like this, any activism
12:36
they might have interest in the future is to kind of go, yeah.
12:38
And you know what? You're right to be mad about
12:40
that and encourage it and not to feel like you should be trying
12:44
to get them to calm down or wait until they're older, but
12:47
actually allow them to push it now if they want to, if they
12:49
care about it enough to show them that they have a voice and
12:53
they're allowed to use it even at a young age.
12:56
Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're not not people
13:01
right there. They are fully formed
13:02
individuals and their their opinion matters.
13:06
I think this kind of ties back into an episode we did last
13:11
season or the season before about ageism and just not
13:17
necessarily valuing children because we just see them as
13:21
small and not yet fully formed humans.
13:23
But they they are and or whatever.
13:26
Yeah. Yeah.
13:27
Obviously they don't have the same experiences and world views
13:30
as as an adult, but they they are still people and important
13:35
in their opinions and values matter.
13:37
Yeah. I.
13:37
Think that's the thing sometimes as adults we can become quite
13:40
cynical or pessimistic and. We.
13:43
We might have fought for things, we might have cared a lot about
13:45
things at some point. And that kind of almost that
13:47
innocence can be the real driver for change because they can they
13:53
can simplify a problem so nicely and kind of go, but this just
13:57
makes sense. Like it should just be this way.
14:00
Like all of the people making an absolute fortune, for example,
14:03
in the oil and gas industries, etcetera, that obviously
14:06
countries are on their knees to those companies and the
14:11
infrastructure needed to change. And she was like, it makes
14:16
sense. Why are we not just doing it
14:18
like the planet will burn. What do we want?
14:21
Do we want to die or do we want to have a planet that's still
14:24
here in like 20-30 years? Like you guys need to stop.
14:28
It needs to stop. We have to change.
14:30
And you guys are just ignoring the science.
14:33
And I thought it was really interesting kind of seeing how
14:36
the kids were responding to it so that when we were watching
14:38
the documentary, I had so many like Wows and Oh my goodness,
14:42
look at that many people. Like it's gone from just her
14:45
sitting on the street to having like a whole crowd around her to
14:47
having the news come and talk to her, to having people across the
14:51
whole world campaigning with her like that must be so amazing.
14:56
Like, can you can feel the goosebumps.
14:57
You can see the looks on their faces were just like, Oh my
15:00
goodness, like that's incredible.
15:02
Like, look what she did. And it led to a really great
15:06
conversation. I learned so much actually about
15:08
what EU KS current climate action policies are and what
15:12
we're doing about it. And obviously we tended to be
15:15
kind of approached this initially from that kind of
15:19
angle. So we are doing the rainforest
15:21
as a topic at the moment. So that was kind of helpful in a
15:24
way because there's already a lot of kind of protest social
15:27
change going on around mass agriculture and the destruction
15:31
of the rainforest and deforestation and like habitat
15:35
loss, etcetera. And so there's already an awful
15:37
lot of information about that thankfully in the world.
15:40
So we're able to pull on that quite a bit.
15:42
So we did come out this from a very much a climate and like
15:45
animals and caring for our planet kind of angle.
15:49
But I was saying to them as well, like there's so much that
15:52
was illegal, not allowed. And we it takes in many, many
15:58
voices, people being strong and brave and speaking up and
16:03
saying, no, I'm not happy about this.
16:05
And it does does make an impact gradually.
16:09
It's happening with neurodivergence right now.
16:11
It's happening with homosexuality.
16:12
It's happening with trans. It's happening with all kinds of
16:16
important things, that things are changing and that matters.
16:22
It matters a lot. And it's really lovely to see
16:24
them kind of going, yeah, like, that's so good that those people
16:27
did say that because it's not fair and it shouldn't be this
16:29
way and it should change. And I'm just like, look at her
16:33
standing up in front of that massive crowd of people in like,
16:35
look, they look so important. And I'm just like, yeah, they
16:37
are important, but they're not making the right decisions.
16:41
They're not caring enough. And she is, her passion is just
16:46
so vital and it reminded me of a few children I actually know.
16:51
One in particular who I know the mum is an avid listener so
16:55
she'll know exactly what I mean. But I've always said to her in
16:57
particular that I can see them being an activist and they will
17:00
make change on this world. And it's, it's so lovely because
17:06
it's true like that passion and is vital.
17:09
We need people who care that much.
17:12
So yeah, sorry, I keep going off a bit like a passionate rant
17:15
with this one because it has fired me up.
17:16
I feel quite empowered by it. Well, it just shows if we keep
17:21
exposing our children to these types of individuals and just
17:26
continuing to push that awareness, it is giving them
17:31
hope isn't the right word, but the the confidence to say, well,
17:34
I could do that. You know this is just one girl.
17:37
Yeah, that any of us could, any of us at any age could decide
17:41
we're not happy about something and start to do something about
17:43
it. And I think we are.
17:45
And I mean, even just this podcast existing in its own way
17:48
is US doing the same thing. It's trying to change minds.
17:51
It's trying to make people aware of things around kind of just
17:53
just home education, education practices and policies around
17:57
neuro divergent and acceptance and understanding children
17:59
ageism. Like this is all active, active
18:02
protest in its own right. I can remember actually a
18:04
conversation we had once again, I think it was the same mum
18:07
actually, I mentioned a bit ago, obviously not going to mention
18:09
them by name for their own privacy reasons.
18:11
But we would try to explain to our kids that that we're rebels
18:15
by choosing to home educate, that we are like in a sense,
18:17
activists against the education policies in the UK.
18:21
We are standing up and saying no, I don't agree with it and I
18:24
don't want to participate in it. And the kids are like, you guys
18:27
aren't rebels. And I realized that frankly, 2
18:30
mums who just want to bake her own bread and eat good food and
18:34
grace and stuff ourselves and maybe have a couple chickens in
18:36
the backyard clearly do not like rebels.
18:39
But we are. And I'd love that.
18:41
I love that she kind of say some, Well, this is it's like a
18:43
quiet protest. It's just stepping away from
18:47
something and saying, Nope, I don't.
18:49
I don't want to use that. Thank you.
18:51
Because the more people who do it, the more volume it speaks to
18:54
the people who are wanting us to use those systems.
18:58
Yeah, it's it makes me smile because of what I said about the
19:00
osmosis thing. I think that just by actively
19:04
living a life that says, you know what, we don't agree with
19:06
that. And so we're not going to do it
19:09
is in itself activism. And we'll teach them to be kind
19:14
of powerful about their beliefs. I have to say this is sort of a
19:18
tangent, but in this way of like because of home educating, I do
19:24
feel like we're, and we talked about this before that we're
19:26
just constantly the poster child for like, albeit not
19:30
voluntarily. Ask me all the questions about
19:33
home education and I'll answer them.
19:35
I was speaking to someone the other day here who knows that I
19:39
home educate and I just I am exhausted by these
19:43
conversations. Like I have to say, I can't
19:46
imagine like I will not. We were talking about this
19:49
before we start recording. I I just don't have like the
19:53
ability to placate anyone anymore.
19:55
So it's clearly written on my face.
19:58
I don't want to have this conversation.
20:01
So I I go into like one word answers and because I don't want
20:06
to be rude and say, you know what, if this is really
20:08
important to you, a woman who has no child, like no children
20:11
at all. So this will never.
20:13
Be applicable, like go do some research on it.
20:15
And then if you want to come back to me and say, hey, I was
20:17
reading about this and I think this is great, but what about
20:19
this? And I'm happy to engage in this
20:21
conversation, but I just don't want to like talk to you about
20:25
something that it just feels so confrontational.
20:28
And I just, yeah. So anyway, you can tell, like I
20:32
said, I don't have the patience for this anymore, so.
20:34
She's going to call two people, so she's definitely.
20:37
Not an activist on this matter. And so she was she this
20:42
question. I just think anyone on that's
20:43
listening, probably everyone who homeschools is going to laugh at
20:46
this because she said to me, Oh, so like your children, because
20:50
you homeschool, you must be they must be really independent.
20:53
Like they must just like get up and get their work done and
20:55
like, you know, come, come back when they're done.
20:59
And I was like, no. And she was like, oh, well, I
21:05
mean, I would just think like, because you've said like, you
21:08
know, you would just say, OK, go do this work.
21:10
And then they go and do it, you know, since they've been doing
21:13
it for so long. And I was like, well, it's kind
21:16
of like any kid with work. Like kids go to school every
21:20
day, but they don't just go to school and do all their
21:22
homework, do they? And like get aids like.
21:26
They needed some encouragement along the way.
21:28
It's interesting, actually. You say that because there's a
21:30
few things that my kids will go do by themselves because they
21:33
don't see it as school, if that makes sense, Like educations.
21:37
They don't see it as stuff which I tick as being like, great.
21:39
I see them doing it like, for example, reading.
21:43
They don't see that as me being like, I don't say go and do some
21:46
reading. Like they just go read and then
21:48
I get to go. They read a whole book today.
21:50
And it was amazing hearing them talk all about the characters
21:53
and breakdown, what they love about the story and this.
21:55
And I was like, yeah, great. You've done a whole like hour of
21:57
schooling all by yourself, right?
22:00
But there's certain things that they'll do, like drawing and
22:02
making stuff and creating stuff and Legos and even to some
22:05
degree maths. My daughter particularly likes
22:07
all of the manipulatives. Like we've got some fruit slice
22:12
fractions that she's obsessed with their magnets.
22:15
And so she sits with a little magnet board and she makes up
22:17
the fractions and models them up and makes loads of different
22:19
combinations to see how she can fit them all together and stuff.
22:21
So she's like properly puzzling that out a minute.
22:24
But yeah, there's certain things they'll do, but for sure, like
22:27
there is absolutely no way they're just picking up their
22:30
maths workbook and going and doing a few pages and just
22:32
bringing it to be like, there you go, Mummy, I did it.
22:35
Not unless there's an incentive, I mean.
22:37
And like this, this was her like, because she's like, oh, so
22:40
your daughter's like getting older.
22:42
So she's technically, you know, in America, they consider that
22:44
middle school and she's like, oh, so she must just go and do
22:48
like 5 hours up in her room and then come back and bring you all
22:51
of her science, history, math, language arts, and you just
22:55
check it, right? And I'm like, I'm sure there are
22:59
kids that do that. Yeah.
23:01
But like, there's, it's still personality dependent.
23:05
We don't like churn out robots. Like it's like I'm like, yeah, I
23:10
send them to their room for five hours.
23:13
They get all their school work done while I tidy the house,
23:16
prepare a dinner, bake a cake, do all the laundry and we'd go
23:20
on our like. We just go for a lovely little
23:23
walk. At the end of the day, I'm just
23:25
like. Oh.
23:26
No, it's so. Strange.
23:28
Like, no, they don't. And then but then she was like
23:30
judging hardcore and I was like, OK, well, whatever, I don't
23:34
care. No, I have to say, it's so
23:36
interesting. Isn't that I think the
23:37
perspectives of people who are not home educators, you've never
23:40
considered home education beyond whatever brainwashing has come
23:44
their way about it in the past. Because let's face it, like even
23:47
the concept of home education when I was a child, I did not
23:50
know it existed. I didn't know it was a choice.
23:52
I didn't know people could do it.
23:53
And then we came across someone who was home educated and they
23:57
were thoroughly like shocked by our way of being because
24:02
obviously the socialization that exists in a school environment
24:05
is so weird compared to actual real normal socialization.
24:10
I can remember them being a bit like shell shocked by how rude
24:13
everybody was being and how like crazy everyone was behaving and
24:16
stuff. So I can remember them being
24:18
like, what is going on here? But ultimately the brainwashing
24:23
comes at us constantly about how home educated kids are weird,
24:26
that they're not going to be able to exist in the real world
24:30
because they don't spend their whole life in it, of course.
24:32
And all of this nonsense. And yeah, the conversations you
24:34
can have with people can be very tiresome.
24:36
And it's all in the tones. So I, I'm the same.
24:39
I don't mind if somebody who's openly curious is being even
24:43
positive and like interested and appreciative of what I do.
24:49
That tone I can work with. I don't mind having a chat with
24:52
that person, but I have come into some conversations before
24:55
that have quite literally made me like almost pull my head back
24:57
in, like, oh, oh, that's a tone. Like, sorry, I didn't realize I
25:02
was personally offending you by making choices for my family.
25:05
But it does. And that's the problem.
25:06
We have to remember that when it comes to beliefs and the
25:08
structures of our society, there are some pretty strong ones out
25:12
there. And then the agenda of the
25:15
people creating our education policies combined with social
25:20
kind of also what I'm looking for here, that kind of
25:24
overarching beliefs in our society, like the societal
25:26
structure, unfortunately, has all been cultivated very
25:31
intentionally and has made it so that anybody who steps outside
25:35
of the norm is considered wrong or weird.
25:40
I mean, the things I grew up hearing, like, oh, I don't mind
25:44
if like you like you can, you can do whatever you want in
25:48
private, but I just don't want to see it around kind of the
25:51
concepts of homosexuality or like racist comments about the
25:55
people running the corner shops, for example.
25:58
Like the amount of things I heard as a child that just
26:01
became so like almost normalized in my head as, oh, this is what
26:05
society believes and this is what like that's this level of
26:08
judgement that I'm going to receive if I do something
26:10
different. And when I chose to home
26:12
educate, it was met with judgement by a number of people
26:17
in my world. And when I tried to explain to
26:20
everybody that my children are divergent, especially my son,
26:22
actually got his diagnosis. And I was very upset that my
26:25
daughter at the time, she's only 5 and they wouldn't diagnose her
26:28
yet despite her having significant struggles.
26:31
And I was devastated by that because obviously just everyone
26:33
who knows the effort that goes into get into the point of
26:35
having a diagnosis in the 1st place, it's just diabolical to
26:39
reach that sort of outcome. But when I was trying to explain
26:43
to family and people that I cared about that that was the
26:46
case, I had comments around kind of, well, it sounds like you
26:49
just want her to be autistic. I was like, sorry.
26:54
And it's like the the level of good.
26:56
Why would a mother ever like? Yeah, it was like.
27:00
You know, honestly, you love your kid but you're not trying
27:02
to throw hurdles in their way on purpose like.
27:04
No, like, I'm not trying to make this up.
27:06
I'm not trying to say that she is to, I don't know, have her
27:09
judged by the world. Like I'm, I want her to have the
27:12
support that she deserves and the care and support in the
27:14
world. Like, yeah, it's very
27:17
frustrating. And it was, it was kind of like,
27:18
I'm so confused by the response you receive sometimes from the
27:22
world. But most of that is typically
27:26
just me kind of almost forgetting.
27:28
I live in such a wonderful bubble now of really lovely
27:31
people who all believe similar things to me and care about the
27:34
same sort of things. And 100% like back up how I
27:39
parent and how I come and go about my business and what I
27:43
look like and how I how I behave.
27:44
And I get to be so authentically me that when you do come up
27:48
against people who are in in no way your people, it's really
27:53
jarring. And that can really shake you.
27:55
And I think I had a moment recently at a business Expo
27:58
where a gentleman was talking to me about his business and he's
28:01
like, I'm a small business. I haven't got time to parent
28:04
people. If they've got problems, they
28:05
need to deal with it at home. Like get get with the program
28:08
and my business and get on with your job.
28:10
And if you can't hack it, then don't work for me.
28:12
Like I'm not going to embrace Neo Divergent.
28:14
I'm not going to make accommodations.
28:15
Like you just have to man up and just deal with it.
28:17
And I'm just like, OK, I actually held my own and I gave
28:21
him loads of great statistics and it didn't shake me.
28:24
I didn't actually feel that sense of, you know, don't even
28:27
get that kind of sensation, always shakiness, like where you
28:30
feel solely an injustice in what he was saying and how unfair it
28:34
was and how not very nice it was.
28:36
I didn't get that sense of fear or shakiness in me in that
28:39
moment. I actually was able to stand
28:41
strong. Voice.
28:42
Some really helpful comments even empathize with his concerns
28:48
actually, this is very difficult for him to to get an
28:51
understanding of all of this and it's obviously managing people
28:54
is a whole lot more than simply paying them a salary like that's
28:57
a lot there's a lot more to leadership than that and in the
29:00
end shaking his hand and saying, look fair enough, like you can
29:04
walk away with your opinions, I'm going to stay with mine.
29:06
It felt empowering to know that I was able to stand strong, say
29:12
what I believed and the facts that I know and the offer him
29:16
some guidance and thoughts. And at least he gave me the time
29:20
of day to talk about it. And who knows that that might
29:23
plant a seed that would help him to start to think about it down
29:25
the line. And I think that's what I was
29:27
trying to get across to my kids in the conversations around
29:29
this, is how often what it takes is a seed just an idea or a
29:36
concept or another way of looking at something.
29:39
And so it's OK to disagree with people, it's OK to have our own
29:43
thoughts and ideas and opinions. It's a good idea to back them
29:46
up, like to find facts or information to back it up so
29:50
that you've actually got something to say.
29:52
Look, I don't believe this. And here's my arguments as to
29:55
why. And ultimately that can make a
29:59
difference. And it's it doesn't always
30:01
sadly. And that's something we've got
30:04
to be ready to accept. As well as that, we might be
30:05
really passionate about saying a fight our whole lives or
30:07
something and still not see it change.
30:11
You think of like David Attenborough and all the work
30:14
he's done and how desperately he's trying to get people to pay
30:17
attention to the climate. And like, it's just that he must
30:21
be sitting there sad as anything being like, I was really hoping
30:25
to have seen by the time I passed off out of this world
30:27
that actually things would have changed.
30:29
And I guess it is slowly, slowly, but it's, it's taking a
30:33
very long time. And yeah, anyway, ramping again
30:37
now about something else. But yeah, I found this one a
30:40
really interesting 1. So I think the main things we
30:42
did in the end was the documentary.
30:46
We we wrote letters to companies asking them to consider their
30:52
policies as well. So we did some research and we
30:54
sent some letters out to try and help them to actually understand
30:58
why something was important and why we wanted it to change.
31:01
We also played a game which wasn't directly linked to the
31:05
protest thing, but I did bring it round to it in the end and it
31:07
seems to have been quite popular amongst our friends, which is
31:10
nice. So I created a game but
31:13
Evolution, and we talked about how that kind of that things are
31:17
evolving right now, like stuff is changing all the time.
31:20
And so if we just destroy a patch of forest, there could be
31:22
something evolving there that could actually be the end of a
31:25
massive problem this planet is facing, or it could be the cure
31:28
to something or whatever. And we actually we could just be
31:30
destroying it without even realizing what we're doing.
31:33
But the game was quite cute. It was basically they start out
31:37
as a BLOB has no particular features and you just keep
31:41
giving them loads of different scenarios of what the
31:44
environment is like, what challenges that BLOB is facing.
31:46
And they have to keep evolving it.
31:48
So they have to keep coming up with ideas about how to evolve
31:51
that BLOB. Like it might get sticky feet,
31:53
so it might be able to swim now, or it might be able to climb
31:55
trees or might start eating parrots instead of insects or
32:00
whatever. And essentially they have to try
32:02
and evolve it and evolve it and evolve it.
32:04
And so it seems like a fully formed dish creature and can
32:07
survive well. And then I got them to draw it
32:11
and then we typed a description of the animal and took a photo
32:14
of their picture. They drew and put it into AI and
32:16
got it to create like a realistic rendering of what the
32:18
animal might look like. And honestly, it was really good
32:23
fun and they really enjoyed playing that.
32:25
But it really did lead to some really great conversations about
32:29
some of the scenarios I gave them were people are now
32:31
chopping down on your trees. Like where are you going to go?
32:35
What are you going to do? How would you adapt to survive
32:38
that? It was, yeah.
32:39
It's just really, really interesting seeing them
32:41
discussing some very important elements of how things shift and
32:46
change depending on the environment.
32:47
They've got how climate change and deforestation, things of
32:50
that can actually affect the species in our world that they
32:54
really showed me. They had a good grasping and
32:55
concept of that concept, but that was really good fun.
32:59
It was a really fun game. They played it for like 2 hours.
33:01
In the end they literally won't stop going on about.
33:03
They keep wanting to play another round.
33:04
It takes forever good though. So I'm hoping I can develop it
33:07
into some other topics down the line.
33:08
We can bring it back out again for the like the Antarctic and
33:11
all the rest of it in the future.
33:13
But what else do we do? I'm trying to think what else we
33:15
actually feel like I am forgetting something actually.
33:18
So is there anything else that you managed to do with them?
33:20
No, I feel like we just decided that this is the most we can
33:26
manage while we're traveling. But it is something that really
33:33
sprung like this idea of having like core values really tied
33:40
into our day-to-day more intentionally than they have
33:43
been. And I think especially because
33:46
right now I'm heavy into planning for the fall and like
33:51
the next like, you know, school year, even though we do school
33:54
year round, we just don't school when we're traveling.
33:56
We are looking at what curriculum are we changing?
34:00
What are we keeping the same? What are we adding in?
34:03
And I definitely was looking, I think you mentioned like those
34:06
big life journals. I was thinking something like
34:09
that, something that really has a inspirational motivational
34:16
type of a feel to it that just is continually reinforcing that
34:22
like growth mindset, positivity, you're more powerful than you
34:27
think kind of idea. So because they think those are
34:34
the ones that I do feel really strongly about.
34:38
And regardless of what they are passionate about, I want them to
34:42
be equipped to create the change that they want to see.
34:48
And so I was like instead, because I at first I was like,
34:52
maybe I'll do something where it's like, what do we feel
34:54
really passionate about? It's going to be horses.
34:55
OK, So what are we, what can we do to help horses today?
35:00
Like what's something that you want to lean into?
35:03
And we can start to do that. And that was sort of what I was
35:06
thinking, but because we're traveling, it would have been
35:10
really tricky to like really implement anything in the time
35:13
frame that we had just to just for the podcast sake.
35:15
I mean, obviously we can do that in the future.
35:17
So I thought, you know, we'll focus more on like the qualities
35:20
of these people and like learn about some of these people and
35:24
how they're just everyday people, but that they're brave
35:28
and they're they're doing these things that are going against
35:30
the grain. And so that's where we spend our
35:35
time. But I do envision something like
35:39
that, that's kind of like a project that we work on somehow
35:43
that does probably revolve around horses and like rescuing
35:47
horses. We did go to the horse
35:48
sanctuary, which is really cool before we started traveling.
35:54
That has it's a place for horses to go when they're done working.
36:00
So if they like we're pulling carriages or police horses,
36:04
they, they go and live this like amazing life.
36:06
And it's was created with the idea of if you have a horse,
36:10
like a working horse, they don't get any time off.
36:13
So you could, you could swap your horse so you could give,
36:16
let your horse go rest for two months and take another like
36:19
loner horse. And it was just this really
36:22
beautiful wave to recognize that these animals also need a little
36:27
bit of R&R and and then just a place for them to go when they
36:32
like retire. So obviously this relies heavily
36:35
on donations and all of that. And that was something that I
36:39
was thinking maybe we can see like what are some challenges?
36:42
Can we raise money? Can we, you know, donate our
36:44
time? Can we just create more
36:46
awareness? Is there policies that make this
36:50
difficult that could be changed, things like that?
36:53
So I think there's a lot we could do, but it just didn't fit
36:56
with the timing of this specific podcast.
36:59
But yeah, lots of things to think about.
37:01
And that's the thing, I think a lot of these subjects, as much
37:04
as it's been wonderful to have these little taste a week or two
37:06
to actually do the subject with our kids.
37:08
It actually just helps us to realize the importance of and
37:12
maybe almost having a little jar or a hat somewhere that as you
37:15
come up with an idea or a subject that you think could be
37:18
really great to talk about with your kids, stick it in the jar,
37:21
grab it out when you're bored and you're running out of ideas,
37:24
you don't know what to cover that day or you're not sure
37:26
where to take things next. Just grab an idea out the jar
37:28
and then give it a well for a day and see where it goes.
37:31
Because so many of these subjects as well, 100% we will
37:35
revisit the concept of activism and actually going protesting.
37:41
We'll be going join a protest at some point.
37:43
We'll probably go and do some sort of charity fundraising
37:45
thing to go and do the pretty muddy things for Cancer
37:50
Research. And obviously we've got a couple
37:52
of people right now who we love who are fighting their fights.
37:54
And I think the kids, my son especially was like, yeah, I
37:57
really want to do that. I want to raise some money for
37:59
Cancer Research and try and help save some lives.
38:01
And that was wonderful to see him be like, yeah, that's
38:04
something I could do. Like I could make that money and
38:06
I could, I could go do that. And that was really lovely to
38:10
see. And I think ultimately, the more
38:13
we empower them and just give them options and say yes to
38:15
helping them to do these things like go, yeah, sure, if you want
38:18
to do that, I'll help you fundraise.
38:19
I'll help get that money together and get them to go.
38:23
And yeah, like do the things that they care about and do
38:27
something about it. And this is going to come up a
38:29
time and time again. There's so many different topics
38:31
in most areas of learning. There is people out there who
38:34
have fought fights to get us the freedoms that we now hold and
38:39
are fighting fights right now for the freedoms of people in
38:41
the future. And ultimately, we have
38:43
definitely got to keep giving our kids a chance to understand
38:46
them, even if it's a bit scary sometimes.
38:48
Even if we don't, we are worried about them knowing that stuff's
38:51
happening in the world, that they are part of the future and
38:56
we're trying to create a lovely future for them as much as we
38:58
can. But ultimately they will have to
39:01
use that voice one day and it's definitely better that they feel
39:06
like they'll be listened to when that time comes.
39:09
But it's definitely been a great topic.
39:10
I think it's something which is definitely going to keep
39:12
bringing up things for us in the future.
39:15
Yeah. So hopefully next week we've got
39:18
an episode with Doctor Chris Bagley.
39:21
He is an incredible psychologist who is doing some very, very,
39:24
very important work in helping our young people to have the
39:28
opportunity to empower their own education.
39:30
So in partnership with B Herbert, they've written a book
39:33
about states of mind, so how adults and young people can work
39:36
together to change education, but also access mental health
39:39
services. So this kind of concept of
39:43
having to send children to go and get diagnosed as having
39:46
something wrong with them if they can't function in our
39:49
education system, instead of actually saying what could be
39:52
different about your education system?
39:54
How would that help you to actually access it?
39:56
What could it look like that would actually make you feel
39:58
more at home and relaxed and comfortable here?
40:00
And then helping them to create that space for themselves.
40:04
They've seen some absolutely incredible work happening here
40:08
and children kind of really empowering themselves to to
40:12
shift. These kind of sort of schools
40:14
and stuff that are actually embracing this idea and giving
40:16
it a go. They're really seeing some
40:19
massive change happening and it's it's just really
40:21
fascinating. So we'll be chatting to him next
40:25
week about the book and what they're doing.
40:28
And I think it's going to make for a really great episode.
40:30
So this last topic episode, when it comes down to it, is going to
40:33
be the week after next and it'll be the last one of the season.
40:36
We're going to go and have our summer holiday peoples and we'll
40:39
be back probably early September.
40:42
But anyway, we've still got two more, so don't panic.
40:44
Still got time, right? Make it a good one.
40:47
There's so many pieces of paper sitting here.
40:49
We've got enough of like 5 more seasons of this if you fancy
40:51
torturing ourselves for another thing.
40:53
Like doing these speed subjects is fun, but it's hard work.
40:59
OK. Oh, is that a good 10?
41:02
See, we definitely put some good ideas in here, so I'm glad that
41:04
we did that. We've got some good ideas to
41:06
start ourselves off with. So this one is security and
41:10
privacy, online safety. It's a good subject.
41:15
It's a very important one. Again, a bit serious.
41:18
These poor kids. I feel like we probably should
41:20
have put some more fun ones in there.
41:21
And I'm sure there were some really fun ones.
41:25
But you know what? This is a really important
41:27
subject and something which I think as my son is getting older
41:32
and he is starting to use the computer more, he hasn't really
41:34
started searching the Internet and looking for things much
41:37
himself yet, but. No, mine neither.
41:40
It's not far away, right? Like it will happen sooner than
41:43
we think. And I think it is.
41:44
We definitely have had some conversations around this
41:46
already. But I think it will be a really
41:48
good for me to to actually think about what actual safety things
41:52
should we be considering and factoring in as they kind of
41:55
come of age and start using computers more and more.
41:58
But yeah, also, I mean, I guess privacy in other parts of life
42:02
and keeping ourselves secure and safe in the real world as well,
42:06
but not just online. Yeah, but yeah, there's lots of
42:10
like really fun tech to this too like some of the stuff that
42:13
helps to keep us safe online is really fascinating.
42:17
I highly recommend looking at the how Google, you know the
42:20
recapture things which says are you a human and you just tick a
42:23
box like I only found out recently how that works.
42:26
They. Like checked their history,
42:28
don't they? Something like that, Yeah.
42:30
And it's also the way you've moved your mouse.
42:31
Like so fascinating. Like really, really cool.
42:35
There's some really cool stuff happening in this world and
42:37
obviously our kids are growing up into this tech ridden world
42:40
as well and very much likely could end up working in this
42:45
area themselves, developing things, coding and creating Ed
42:50
tech or tech that will have this stuff in mind.
42:54
So it's yeah, there's lots around this.
42:56
Actually, the more I think about it now, the more I can see
42:57
there's lots of angles we could take with this one as well.
42:59
So that's our topic for this time.
43:02
So security and privacy and online safety whilst you're just
43:05
trying to hang out at the beach. Enjoy.
43:10
Should. Tie right in.
43:11
Yeah. So relevant to what you're
43:13
currently doing, there might be a little bit of that I suppose.
43:18
Stranger danger and all that. I know different different way
43:22
but yes. All right, guys.
43:25
Well, have a wonderful week. We'll speak to you again next
43:28
week. Take care, guys.
43:29
Bye bye. You've been listening to the Big
43:34
Home Ed Conversations podcast. Thanks for tuning in.
43:38
Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with a
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43:48
Also, check out our new website at fakehomedpodcast.com.
43:53
We'll be back next week to talk about our experiences bringing
43:56
the topic of security, privacy, and online safety to our
43:59
children. We hope to hear your experiences
44:02
as well, so come talk to us about it on social media.
44:05
Thanks for listening.