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Embracing the Cringe with Caroline Scruggs · The Uplifters

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: An uplifter is a compelling leader who tries to breathe life and hope into people around them who listen and care and guide and help whose way of being in the world inspires who uplifts with humor and understanding
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_03: who leads by example don't judge vulnerable bold determination who are here to create a better world who can learn and teach who encourages you who shines their light to lead other people who uses their best self in order to help others I found the life that I liked and I worked toward that we are all Uplifters big love
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: my friend Caroline Scruggs is amazing she's a singer-songwriter who grappled with the music industry and the level of rejection and judgment she was receiving from that and she leaned into coaching women in vocal embodiment using her talent she does the most interesting creative things and lives unapologetically herself and she's one of the most loving wonderful people I've ever met
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to The Uplifters podcast.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: You just heard Julie Hart again from one of our very first episodes of the pod introducing Caroline Scruggs.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've been waiting for months to talk to Caroline and all the while following along on her adventures on Instagram where she shares her
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Beautifully Musical Life.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: She's a world traveling musical artist, a songwriter, and a voice and creativity coach.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: As I watch her life on Instagram, I'm so fascinated by the beautiful places in which she creates music with this really unique instrument called the theremin, which I think she'll tell us a little bit about today.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And this continuous sense that this is a woman who is out there
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Creating the Life She Wants for Herself in this really intentional and curious and creative way.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So Caroline, I'm so excited to get to know the woman behind that beautiful life.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome, Caroline.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Aransas.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy to be here.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that was just such a wonderful intro.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm honored to be here.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I know you travel full time.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you today?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think I'm in Georgia right now.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm on the side of the road, which I realize is unconventional for these kind of things.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, it's like all of the people who know me know that I'll probably be calling you from the side of the road at some point to teach a class or to have a conversation or whatever.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm actually en route to New Orleans today because I will be recording there with one of my bands this week.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: We're recording our first album this weekend, and I'm so, so, so excited to be there for the month
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: What an exciting time.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Have you recorded albums before?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, actually, yes.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: The last year and a half of my life has been creating and recording my premier solo singer-songwriter album.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was coaching a lot more and teaching, and I decided to take off from that and dive full on into my art, which is something that I've never done intently before.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: and so my album is finished I'm so excited and now it's just a matter of releasing it so I've decided that I'm going to self-release this year and it's this huge complex thing you create this huge thing but then you have to figure out how you want to share it with the world right so that's what I'm in the midst of doing right now it's a big learning process but it's so fulfilling
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I want to hear so much about that.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: What drove the big shift?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, man.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: It was the most organic thing, really.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think that if I look back, especially at the last like five-ish years of my life, I was raised a very big people pleaser, I think, as a lot of us can say.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Same girl.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and particularly as women.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's a pattern that I see so often with my friends and my clients and my students.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 32.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: The first 25 years of my life, I think I was really in the survival mode, very focused on what I should be doing.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then life happened and I began to get a little bit wiser or at least to have like some holy crap moments.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: is this really what I want and is this you know is this me or is this somebody else's dream that I'm finding myself in right now and I started having more and more of those moments and
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started paying attention more to like what really was calling me and what it felt like the universe was pulling me toward.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I just started going down this crazy winding path as most of us do that decide that we're going to say yes to the calls.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: and a lot of it didn't make sense at the time as it never does in hindsight all of it makes sense and it was really I mean an amalgamation of things but I had found the right producer finally after years of searching I found this guy who we just click and we have the chemistry to make he knows kind of what's in my head and he can put it out into the world or help me do that which is a very amazing and rare thing as singer-songwriters will attest to
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Also, I teach virtual courses around using songwriting and singing and music as tools to empower people.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: And it was starting to feel not as organic as it felt the entire like year and a half that I was doing at Full Force.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I just knew it was time to take a step back.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, you know what?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: it's now I have my producer that's the sign I'm gonna fund this thing myself I had been kind of waiting for some opportunity to come along and I was just like you know what I've proven to myself that I can make money I know that I will make this happen that I'll be able to fund this big big big investment and that it just needs to happen and I I felt the call and I leaped and it was scary as hell and the last year and a half has been
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Crazy and Hard and like a true test of faith.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad that I did it, that I made that leap.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it exactly had to happen exactly as it did.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: And here we are now.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you were to utter the most courageous and truest dream for this work, what would it be?
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the cool thing is Aransas, this album actually almost got made three years ago in LA with a completely different producer, a big time producer that has produced albums that you would be familiar with.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not going to name drop, but I got like this crazy opportunity to work with this guy.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: and it was at a time in my life where I was still people pleasing like still kind of breaking out of that mold long story short I went into that situation being like whatever you want to do with my music you can like whatever you think will make it successful and make it sell or whatever like make the labels want it let's do it
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: and that situation ended up falling through and it was one of the hardest moments of my entire life and it made me question everything and I fell into a pretty big deep depression about it and existential crisis and what have you and then it was great because it was exactly what needed to happen because right after that when I was kind of at this rock bottom place is when I had a really big breakthrough of like why am I trying to make my art
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: For Other People.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: And why do we do that?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: There's so many things that are messed up about the music industry, you know, just every other part of life and every other part of how art and consumerism have this really funky thing, artists and consumer society and culture.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's a tough balance for the psyche and for the soul.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: When I finally, years later, it was coming together and it was this very organic thing, I found my producer.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I resolved
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: To Create This Great Work of My Life This Far as a testament to myself that I would trust myself and only myself at the end of the day.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: So like, yeah, my producer had ideas that we totally went with, but this piece of work is 100% me authentically, my self-expression.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I did not sacrifice that for one millisecond.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have already actually reached my goal with this album because it was in the making of the thing.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: It was in the creative process versus what the outcome will be.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, like this was my initiation, if you will, into like a new level of trusting myself and my creative integrity and who I am as a person.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: that's really beautiful such a truly courageous approach to the creative process we all want to share our gifts then it's that work that is done from the purest place of integrity and authenticity that has the most effect because it feels like truth it doesn't feel like a big mixed up mashed up bunch of compromises and lies
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the other side of the coin, it's like I understand that we do live in a society where the product does matter and profit does matter.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's a part of our reality.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's why it's so wonderful as a creative, which I count all humans as creative beings.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: We come from a creative universe.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: We are part of this creative universe.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: It is in our truest nature to be taking things in and then alchemizing them and putting them out of some kind of new thing.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when we feel the best because it's literally in our chemical makeup.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's Part of Nature.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: Some parts of our lives, we do have to focus on the end thing, on the product, on the profit.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: And for some singer songwriters who like really want to make a living like right now on their music, they're gonna have to pay more attention to like, what's trendy today?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I hate that, but I accept that that is the reality for some people.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: However, those people that are taking that art form, they need another creative outlet to really serve their soul and get to hone in on the creative process.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: What I like to teach people is if you are a doctor, if you are an author, or if you are a web designer, whatever you are, you have stress in your life that's directly contributed to
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: because of the consumerist psychology that we all have a little bit because we have to pay attention to surviving, to making money at the end of the day.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, here's this tool that I'm even using myself now of songwriting and of expressing yourself in a really radical way to most people that society has not given us.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: you know given permission for us to do which makes it even cooler we can like stick it to the man and be like you know what I'm gonna write a dang song and I don't care if it sounds good I don't care if it's a hit or not or like if it would make it on American Idol or like if how good my voice sounds I'm just gonna write it and get the joy of just playing like you did when you were a little kid just seeing what happens when you pick up an instrument and like let yourself sing a
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Gosh, it's so healing and I've seen so many people take it like I have and just be completely enamored and like in wonder and awe that they can do that.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I love this idea too that we are all creative beings and we all have deep wells of creative power and potential in us.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And yet I think we grew up in this really binary society that said you're athletic or you aren't.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: You are creative or you aren't.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: You are smart or you aren't.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, right, maybe we are all, all of those things just in our own beautifully unique way.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Is the secret to not are you yes or no, but how are you?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: I believe that creativity is is at the heart of everything and imagination is at the heart of literally everything it's not about the arts the arts are this beautiful tool that we have to practice our creativity and like juice up our imagination and make sure that the wheels are moving if we can't imagine how somebody else is feeling then we can't have compassion compassion or creativity and imagination are the heart of how we build towns and infrastructures and
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: How Vaccines Are Created.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Everything spurs from creativity.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just the arts.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's where we are taught wrong, that creativity and imagination are these fluffy things that only go with these fluffy arts of music and visual art and theater.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: But that's so not the case.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: What if imagination and creativity are the heart of everything we do and
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: And again, the arts are just tools and they're not just tools for the artists.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: They're tools for every single human that is having this experience here on earth to be able to pick up and practice their creativity, their imagination.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: They're creating things that aren't here yet because we need every single person on this earth to use their gifts and to use their imagination to make the world a better place.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: And we need it more now than ever before.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it can only be done in the context of a safe space for creation.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we feel under threat or under judgment, it's way harder to tap into those creative instincts.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was within this really narrow constraint of what sold that you felt less empowered to tap into your truest creative instincts.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Trust what's already been, which is sort of the opposite of what you're describing as creativity.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so then you got out of that space and said, okay, in this giant ecosystem of possibility where I could go anywhere and do anything and be anything, what would that look like and what would that allow for?
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: So as a teacher, as a coach, how do you create context for safe expression?
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's such a great question.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's so important to have an allotted and intentional space, whatever that looks like, whether that's virtual or tangible or whatever.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like we need spaces and we need structures and we generally thrive off of mentorship or somebody holding that space for us.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: and it's a very special job to not be taken lightly I've always felt like I have been given a gift very intentionally to be able to hold that space for people to feel safe when they're doing the creating which is so funny because again our culture kind of says oh creativity is so fluffy and light and we kind of toss it off when in reality it's the scariest
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Feeling Thing for us because it shows your vulnerability.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: When you express yourself and when you're pushing beyond what is known, your fear centers in your brain are like, Avor, don't go there.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Just keep doing what society is telling you to do.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: What if you express yourself in a way that's different and you get rejected?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that's so deep into our physiology and it's so
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: The Uplifters.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: I Get What's Happening in Here, Let's Move Along and Continue on This Journey.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it's made so much, I don't want to say easier, but it feels so much more supported to be witnessed in your creative process, especially at the beginning.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: and to be kind of held in a space where you feel safe to dip your toes in it especially if you haven't done it since you were a child or a younger person and you've kind of gotten all of that beaten out of you by academia or by your high stress job or by super judgmental friends and family like there's so many reasons why it's so hard for us to claim
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: our creative power these days especially like the older you get right so I love being that person to hold the space for people and to constantly reassure them I'm like a total like dog personality I'm a dog person and I just love loving on people I love cheering people on there's no room for
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: Criticism.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: In my courses, it's all about holding people up so that they can heal that part of themselves that's probably been beaten down by their own inner critic and by all of the critics around them.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: My free course is a three-day songwriting experience called Uke Camp, where I take you through the songwriting process to ignite your creativity for creatives of all kinds.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: Such a Cool Community is such a cool experience.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: You've come out on the other side, totally revamped and kind of restored faith in humanity and with original songs that you've written and you kind of can't believe it for people who have never written a song before.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's so fun.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I can tell just by the way you light up when you talk about it.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think too, there is that need for encouragement probably in all of us.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: And as much as now you are creating from this really pure, authentic place, it is still, and I don't think these are opposing thoughts, but it still feels really good when we make something and other people say, oh, I see it.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I feel your truth.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes it's so good and that's why you know it's so interesting today because we have the internet and boy what a weird thing what a wonderful thing and what a weird thing for creatives or for people who want to delve into something new who do want to be witnessed in their art it's hard right because you're doing this really vulnerable thing and there are trolls it's not just all rainbows and sunshine out there like it's a dangerous place for your psyche and for your soul
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so to be able to have a more private space held for you for a certain amount of time that you can enter into really delve into that part of yourself and feel safe and held in a community that you know is doing the same thing and is there for the same reasons.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's this pact that we make that we are going to hold each other for this allotted amount of time for this specific reason.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: And man, there's heavy, heavy magic and beauty in that kind of situation.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: What a healing experience in terms of belief in humanity, if nothing else, right?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: To hold and be held by one another in that vulnerable place that produces an artifact that could never have existed.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I love that.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you use the phrase embrace the cringe.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: What does that mean for you and your work?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: So this is one of the mantras of my course.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: You camp campers will always sometimes they'll attach on to their songs and they're like, OK, I wrote this in half an hour and it really sucks.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm Embracing the Cringe, Caroline.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna post it.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's this idea that we all have cringey moments that we can think back on, right?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: That we can bring up.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Some of us, like every day we have a cringey moment or two.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: And when you really think about those moments,
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: A Lot of Them are actually moments where we end up saying something or we do something that not only shows our humanity or imperfectness, but it'll show a little bit more of our authentic selves than we want to show.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: The Uplifters featuring Aransas Savas
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: and again it's going back to feeling vulnerable we don't like to put ourselves out there in a way that is different than the status quo because then that might lead to rejection and that's what our fear center of our brain tells us right I like to say that when you write songs when you express yourself with art it's giving you practice and it will reflect in your everyday life in how you're showing up in your relationships and how you're showing up in your job and how you're showing up just expressing yourself day to day
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: and so this is my little story with with embrace the cringe and exactly what it means in songwriting so one day I was I was sitting you know playing my ukulele and I was trying to write a song and I was trying to find a word that rhymed with windowsill okay the only thing that kept coming up in my brain was roadkill and I was like
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: what the hell I can't Caroline stop it you can't obviously you can't put roadkill in a song that's gross and that's weird all those little voices the inner critic was like yeah nobody would that's so weird people would think you were weird and that's what my voices are saying and sometimes like the voices are so cunning in our heads that we don't even realize that that's what's going on but I've gotten a little bit good at hearing what they're saying and questioning those voices
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so I, you know, thought about those voices and I was like, what if I just like went with it?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what if I just embrace this really cringy feeling?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I put the word roadkill here.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see what happens.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I ended up writing this song and it's called Street Food and it's just this little ditty and it's freaking hilarious.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: it's so weird and morbid and like kind of cute at the same time and I've played it for a ton of people and I haven't recorded it yet but I'm sure that I will one day but I ended up loving this quirky little song because I let myself go with the thing that came up whereas like if I had just tried to find a more conventional like cool thing then maybe that song wouldn't be memorable at all
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: So that's the idea of embracing the cringe and following our whims and trusting what comes up a little bit more.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: What if instead of when something feels cringy and you get embarrassed and ashamed and run away or try to tamper it down, what would happen if we experimented and just said that thing out loud?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: How Would That Change How People See Us, How We See Ourselves?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it would make life way more interesting and maybe it would make other people feel like they had permission to be a little bit weirder too because we're all just big weirdos like inside, you know?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Also, we're much more dimensional than we give ourselves and each other credit for.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Are you somebody who perceives herself or presents herself as being funny normally?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like is humor a part of your core?
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, with my friends, I'm super goofy, you know, but I'm not like, no, I don't I don't identify as like the funny person.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wondered because clearly this song is something that struck a funny chord in you.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm the same way.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very earnest.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I like that about myself.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: For a long time, I judged it as being boring and basic.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: But then I was like, actually, it's just true.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's who I am.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm earnest.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: I've always been earnest.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if you ask my family, they think I'm hilarious.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like what we lead with, but we're all these things.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: To be honest and a bit vulnerable for a minute, like maybe I'm just, I want to say this because maybe somebody listening can relate to this.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: I
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: also grew up like I told you I grew up as a big people pleaser I was going for being like in all honesty trying to be a beautiful girl who had all of her shit together and who was pretty artsy but I wanted to appear like a hot chick who was hot and desirable
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: and who really had her shit together and so to come off as weird or quirky or odd which was exactly who I actually am through and through and goofy and I'm always making like double chin faces and cartoon character voices so not the funny girl but I'm the freaking weirdo in
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Reality and I didn't start feeling comfortable being that being myself I just wanted to put that out there if anybody feels that way because I think a lot of us are raised to be that way
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so interesting.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I wanted to be non-threatening.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think that was really the core perception I wanted to give out.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: So earnest is really nice and non-threatening.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Humor has always been a little bit scary because what if you say something that hurts somebody's feelings?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I only feel safe to do that with my family because I know they know me and I know they won't judge me and that they will love me no matter what.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I do think that we all probably have those parts of ourselves that we shy away from because they're not cute.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or they're not the self that we want to put out there for the rest of the world for whatever reason.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's exactly right.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it reminds me of, so I have another course that was my main course and just one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life is called Raise Your Voice.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I will do it again.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just not sure when, when it will happen.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's basically taking women through the journey of healing their relationship with their voice, both their physical voice and their inner voice, because they are inextricably linked.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: and it's going through this because all of us have this is who I actually am and this is how I present myself as exactly like you and I are talking about and most women are still doing it their entire lives they don't stop and the beautiful thing is when you work on your voice
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: and you start intentionally like loving your voice instead of being ashamed about it because we've also been criticized about how our voice sounds you're too loud you're not loud enough your voice is too high and whiny like your voice is too low you sound like a guy like we are constantly critiqued
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: for our voice and a voice is a direct representation of of how we are taking up space in the world and so when we can do that you know from a very empowered like a true empowered place of love and respect for ourselves then what is possible for us to achieve that like isn't right now with these barriers on us
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: So powerful.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I, again, I don't think it's a binary thing that it's either on or off, but this is continuous work for our entire lives probably.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: And, and I relate to it so deeply because my voice was always the thing everyone talked about.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: from my earliest memories people were really moved by my voice people like my speaking voice they always have my mom tells stories about when I was five people thought I was a little person because I had this great big bold voice and this big vocabulary wow and it was disorienting to people and my entire life it has been the most commented facet of my being and I
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: My Singing Voice Has Had the Exact Opposite Effect.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: My family always teased, you know, who that girl can't carry a tune in a bucket.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I got called out in sixth grade choir because they said one little girl is ruining this for everyone.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I have this very different relationship with my voice, whether it is I could musically speak
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: and people would respond well but if I were to sing the experience has just always been very different and so I think too like if I think about that then as a unifying force right those are all true they're all one person they're all me they're all my voice but the reception of it and the experience for other people and the feedback has been so different over the course of my life
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: yeah that's so fascinating and it's so it's unique to you but it's also common like so many women we all have our own story of our voice and like whether it was particularly our singing voice whether it was like a boyfriend who told you that you were flat like in high school when you're singing to him
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Singing is one of the most vulnerable acts we can do as people because you can't trade your voice in for a new model.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: It is yours through and through.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: It is the truest version of your heart.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: We put it out into the world and people are careless with it.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: Not intentionally, probably, sometimes they are, but it can hurt us in ways that we don't realize we have been
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hurt and Broken.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: And that has direct effects on how we are going about walking through the world.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: How many women do you know will never sing a note ever?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people not even to themselves in the shower.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: And when we are free, when we can heal that relationship and free ourselves to sing music, I wish that I could just have people experience it.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: you know like right now like I could push a button because I can't tell you how freeing it is for women that have done Raise Your Voice and have healed their relationships with their voices and how their lives have changed in very subtle ways and also very major ways when they feel free to let loose in that way it's like an ultimate act
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here universe.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: I am here taking up space and I'm going to use this tool, this instrument that I've been given.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's mine and I accept it and I love it wholeheartedly no matter what.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's radical.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's very radical.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's radical.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is an act of rebellion too.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 100%.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: Against the stories we've been told and a reclaiming of space and self and personally, I'm taking from it
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: Who Cares What I Sound Like to Other People.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about the other person's experience of it any more than me talking is about anybody else's pleasant experience of it.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's rather my experience of singing and I really enjoy singing.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: I really enjoy the act of it it's never been it doesn't sound out in the world the way it sounds to me and I think that disconnect is hard for people I think people are so concerned about being misunderstood or like the podcast I think every guest I host I feel like I'm making a pact with them to try to give their story to the world in a way that feels true and honest for them that really matters to us as human beings that we are understood
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: The Uplifters featuring Aransas Savas.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: yeah there's what we want the world to be and then there's like the reality of the world and humans around us and the world is a broken like tragic place right and we want so deeply to be like here I am accept me sometimes it doesn't happen but that's why I love
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: What I Do When I Am Teaching, which I've been taking a break from to pursue my own art, which is very important too.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: But when I get back into my season of teaching, which again is going to begin in a couple of weeks with Uke Camp, but it's the same thing with Raise Your Voice.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: I take my girls on a journey.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's very physical and mental.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: So we'll work on vocal technique, like we work on breath support.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: and where actually you activate your body to have these beautiful vocal cords be vibrating we focus in on how your voice feels how it feels to vocalize versus how it sounds we focus on
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: Reflecting on all of the judgments and the critiques and all of the stories that you have stored in your head from a lifetime of judging your voice and of assumptions that you have of other people's thoughts and judgments on your voice.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so we really get into all of these different
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_01: The Uplifters.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: and the last call all of the women sing their heart song for each other and maybe they never share this song again you know like with anybody else but they know that they are safe and they are held in this space where they have had this healing journey with these women they've done it all together and that's enough to be held to share your voice
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: For People Who Do and Will Appreciate and Love It for All It Is.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: I want women to love their voices and to feel good about them because they deserve to and they need to.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: We need women to be raising their voices in much deeper and higher capacities.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I agree.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this idea of uplifting is an act of expression and of trusting our creative instincts and using our voices collectively, right, within the safe space of this uplifting community of people who innately
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: Identify as caring and nurturing and accepting and encouraging.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it ripples out to the most unlikely places.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: So speaking of unlikely places, you go from place to place playing your theremin.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: I Can't Be the Only One Who Did Not Know What a Theremin Was.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Will you just explain that for our audience?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're definitely not the only one.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: Most people don't know.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: So the theremin is a very interesting musical instrument.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's the first electronic musical instrument that was invented in 1920 by a Russian physicist.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_01: And it is one of the only instruments in the world played without physical touch.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it looks like a wooden box and it has two antennae on either side and I am waving my hands in front of it.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: It looks like I'm casting spells or something and it has a very ethereal voice-like or string-like tone to it.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very rare thing because it's very difficult to play but it's one of my dearest passions in life is playing this instrument and it's probably what I'm best known for.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: Funnily enough, in the world.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: A couple of years ago, I decided that I wanted to connect my love, my deep love of travel with my deep love of the theremin.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I started traveling and playing it out in really breathtaking natural landscapes with this idea of playing the air and documenting that.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just grown from there, both my vision and my dream for it and people's attention and interest in it.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, the journey continues.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love it so much too, because when you're doing it, you're playing a unique set of molecules as they have collected in that given place.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so it is as though you were in concert with the air.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's such a cool idea to me.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks!
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you think so.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think so too.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm generally just playing whatever comes to me in the moment.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a pre-decided piece or anything like that.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: I really enjoy... I'm such a nature girl and so I really enjoy just
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: Settling Into the Moment, looking at the mountains or the desert around me, and then picking up my fingers and seeing what comes out.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm also like a total like romantic.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I romanticize everything.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I like to think that I'm like giving that space a voice and a song that it would sing for a couple of minutes.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, what a beautiful idea.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to ask you one last question because it is the most courageous thing I can ask you.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: What is the first step for women who want, let's just talk about me.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be honest.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, singing terrifies me because I haven't had good experiences with it.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: Fair.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: What is the first step in breaking through that?
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: I love that question.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: You said that you do enjoy singing, right?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: You just have had bad experiences from the outside.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: It feels good to me.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: Feels good.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_01: I love that because we already have a starting point there.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: You do have a positive experience with it.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: You just also have all of this crap on the outside.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: But if we can get you to start focusing on the positive, on this feeling of like remembering that you love the feeling of singing.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the cool thing is we're all born singers.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: We come out and we're like,
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody Knows a Newborn Baby Cry.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's very shrill and loud and they know how to use it because it's a survival mechanism.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's how they communicate what they need.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then you grow a couple years older and we all sing as little kids before the world does its first
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: Nasty on Us about our voices, we all have this very innocent, pure, authentic state of self-expression, which includes singing.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: So everybody has sung before at some point, whether they remember it or not.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: We want to get you back to focusing on and remembering that good, positive connotation that you have with your voice.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so what I would suggest is maybe finding a track on Spotify, something that's really calming to your nervous system.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: There are those tracks that are like binaural beats or something that's like very atmospheric that you can hear the key that it's in, but usually it's not like a crazy moving melody.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like, okay.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: Then I would love for you to sit down, make sure that you feel like you're in a nice, cozy, safe space.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is a meditation for all intents and purposes.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: And really, it's an embodiment meditation because you're about to use your body.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're about to come into your body and use it to make sound.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you need to have nobody else at home or if you need to lock your door, if you need to light a candle, if you need to put a blanket around you,
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Getting Your Body Really Cozy, Making Your Nervous System Feel Really Regulated, Putting on That Track, and I would like for you to just hum, just hum along with it on one note even.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_01: and matching, if you can, to whatever's going on.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: Beginning to vocalize in a really safe, supported space where you can just hone in on the feeling and the vibration of your voice.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: It'll seem kind of foreign at first,
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: but if you allow yourself to do that like three different times even that will be radically shifting for your nervous system and how it relates to your voice and then we move on to the next step and of course this is just a suggestion that anyone and everyone can try but especially I would love for you to do it
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: and tell me how it feels and tell me your experience with it and just note everything note like when your inner critic comes up and remember that you can just realize that that that's not you that's not reality that is your inner critic and it's just trying to protect you and that you have the choice to say hear what you're saying but we're safe we're alone and I like doing this and it feels good so we're going to continue to do it right now Aransas
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: you know what a beautiful rewiring and it is what you're describing is actively creating new neural pathways by repeating that again and again that's really exciting and a really beautiful way to do it and I already heard my inner critic said well you don't know how to match pitch right right that's the problem but I think I can hear in that immersive state
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: How Different That Experience Might Be.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm down to give it a try.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's how we find our voices, by showing up and listening to them, whether we want to write or speak or sing or simply express our emotions.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: It is the active practice of listening and hearing what's there that helps us find that truth.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, that's the big takeaway from this conversation.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, couldn't have said it better.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here on The Uplifters podcast.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uplifters, let's use our weird, wonderful, wacky voices.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let's show up for ourselves.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's show up for each other with loving acceptance and let's show up together.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully I'll get to meet Caroline and lots of you on May 17 at our first ever Uplifters Live gathering.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: Please join us in New York City.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: You can go to Eventbrite and just search Uplifters Live and you'll find us there or reach out to me in all the places on social and I'll give you all the details.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: It would be such a thrill to meet you and hug you in person and to share this beautiful, magical day together.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to The Uplifters Podcast.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you're getting a boost from these episodes, please share them with the uplifters in your life and then join us in conversation over at theuplifterspodcast.com.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: Head over to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and like, follow and rate our show.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: It'll really help us connect with more Uplifters and it'll ensure you never miss one of these beautiful stories.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: Mwah!
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_03: Big love!
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: painted water sunshine with rosemary and thyme dwell in the perplexing though you find it vexing toss a star and hover be your own best lover relish in a new prime plant a tree in springtime dance with idle hindsight bring the sun to twilight
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: Lift You Up Lift You Up Lift You Up Lift You Up Lift You Up
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: Beautiful.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_03: I cried.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: It's that little thing you did with your voice.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_03: In the pre-chorus, right?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: I was like... Mommy, stop crying.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're disturbing the peace.