Latest / The Talent Brief / Loyalty or Fear
Transcript
- Jeff Ganter: Sometimes staying isn't commitment, it's avoidance. I'm Jeff Ganter, and thanks for listening to the talent brief. I've been thinking about how easily we can confuse loyalty with staying. We stay with companies, we stay in relationships, we stay in friendships. We stay committed to responsibilities, expectations, and even versions of ourselves that may no longer fit. From the outside, staying can look admirable, dedicated, dependable, loyal. But I've started wondering whether we sometimes use the word loyalty because the alternative is harder to admit. We're afraid. Afraid of disappointing someone, afraid of starting over. Afraid of losing what we've built. Afraid will make the wrong decision. And the one that probably resonates with almost every human afraid of being judged. Or maybe we're afraid of something even more uncomfortable. We don't know who we'll be when this thing we've been loyal to is no longer part of our identity. And that's where things get complicated. Because I believe in loyalty. I believe in commitment. I don't think every uncomfortable season means we should leave. Relationships get hard. Careers can be frustrating. Business change. Friendships evolve. And sometimes staying through difficulty is exactly what commitment requires. But there is a difference between staying because something still matters to us. And staying because we fear leaving. The problem is that from the outside, they can look exactly the same. And I think that's where we can stay in a situation long after we first recognize that something has changed. The signal may have been present for months, maybe years. Something isn't right anymore. Something doesn't fit. Something that once It energized us now leaves us drained. But then the scripts arrive. You've invested too much to leave. People are counting on you. You should be grateful. What if you regret it? What will people think? You don't just walk away after all these years and eventually. We can rename fear as loyalty because loyalty sounds better. I've done it. There have been times in my own life when I thought staying meant I was being committed. Looking back, I can see that sometimes I wasn't protecting the commitment. I was protecting myself from having to make the decision. There's a difference. And maybe that's why this isn't really a conversation about whether you should stay or leave. It's about understanding what, actually making the decision. This is where I've been using something I call notice, name, question, choose. Notice what keeps coming up. Name what you're actually feeling. Question the story you've attached to it. Then choose what you want to do with what you've learned, not because leaving is always courageous, and not because staying is always fear. Sometimes staying is absolutely the right choice. But if you're going to stay, maybe you deserve to know why. And if you're going to leave, maybe you deserve to know why. So here's my challenge this week. Look at something you've been calling loyalty a job, a relationship, a friendship, a responsibility, maybe even an old version of yourself. And ask yourself one question Am I staying because I still choose this or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't? You don't have to do anything with the answer today. Just don't talk yourself out of hearing it. Trust the signal. Question the script. As always, thanks for listening. See you soon. Bye.