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STOP Living on AUTOPILOT! (S5) S42:E7 · Inspirations for Your Life

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Well there Hello
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there everyone and welcome to the ever-popular
0:33
Inspirations for your live show it is Friday.
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Great to be Friday.
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It's October 16 2026 if this is the
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very first time you're joining me.
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I want to take the opportunity to say
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Thank you.
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And of course, I want to say those
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words.
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Welcome to you, but you're very welcome here
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Have you been here one time five times
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ten a hundred or maybe even more?
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I would like to say the words.
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Thank you and welcome But I'd also like
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to say those important words Welcome back as
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I always appreciate people that enjoy the quality
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and content of the show that I produce
1:08
Here if you're thirsty if you're hungry feel
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free to go grab yourself something like I've
1:12
got a delicious or a water with fresh
1:16
lemon Get yourself some water maybe fruit or
1:20
something else All right, guys, so stop living
1:24
on autopilot series 5 show 42 episode 7
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it's Friday.
1:30
That's what today's show is about.
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Welcome everyone again to the ever-popular inspirations
1:33
for your live show I'm John Seymour Lee.
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I'm a serial entrepreneur.
1:37
I'm an engineer marketing specialist video producer podcast
1:39
host coach Keynote speaker graduate student at Montclair
1:43
State University and so grateful now to be
1:46
a published author Have you ever reached the
1:49
end of a day and wondered?
1:52
where It went You answered messages met expectations
1:58
Handled emergencies and kept moving.
2:01
But did you actually choose how to live
2:04
that day?
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Probably not See that's the danger of autopilot
2:08
our weekly series stop waiting for a sign
2:13
Your freedom starts with action And this comes
2:18
together today so inspired by the week's themes
2:23
of freedom hope and Purposeful action I'm making
2:29
one big shift from reacting to life to
2:32
intentionally living it Here are 30 ways guys
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to live free and do not forget to
2:39
check out Believe me achieve calm for more
2:43
of my amazing inspiring creations.
2:45
Number one Freedom becomes meaningful through everyday choices
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Okay a dramatic Declaration sounds exciting but your
2:56
calendar conversations and decisions reveal how freely You're
3:01
really living Start there number two stop treating
3:06
personal growth as a temporary project a week
3:09
of inspiration can spark change but Your future
3:13
is shaped by what you continue doing when
3:16
the excitement actually face I think that's something
3:19
that a lot of people today they miss
3:21
They don't realize what's happening or why something's
3:24
going on, but they miss it and they're
3:25
like, oh, wait a minute why did that
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go on that way, why did that happen
3:29
and People are like really befuddled by that.
3:34
Okay, so we have to be aware of
3:37
that and You know building routines that reflect
3:42
your values learning matters protect learning time if
3:47
relationships matter show up for people Give your
3:52
priorities a regular place number four guys Recognize
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when autopilot is directing your decisions when you
3:59
automatically say yes scroll complain or postpone pause
4:04
and ask did I choose this or Just
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repeat it right?
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Did I just clone what I answered before?
4:12
Number five choose how you spend your attention
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Your attention is limited.
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Don't give every alert argument or distraction the
4:22
same Access to your mind.
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I think that's an important thing guys number
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six make time for what?
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genuinely matters Important relationships and meaningful goals really
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demand attention as loudly as an incoming notification
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Schedule them anyway, I know it sounds hard
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but do it anyway number seven protect your
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freedom through healthy Responsibilities freedom isn't doing whatever
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you want without consequences.
4:53
It's meeting real obligations while directing your life
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Thoughtfully, I think that's the important thing number
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eight, please.
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Stop confusing independence with refusing help You can
5:10
own your choices and still seek guidance Collaborate
5:13
or lean on people who care about you
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number nine Build relationships that respect mutual boundaries
5:21
real respect works both ways Make room for
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another person's needs without erasing your own needs
5:28
number ten guys recognize that freedom includes accountability
5:33
if your choice affects others acknowledge that impact
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Responsibility strengthens trust and protects the freedom you
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value number eleven make thoughtful decisions without constant
5:49
reassurance Gather useful facts and listen to qualified
5:53
advice Then recognize when the decision belongs to
5:56
you That's important guys.
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Not just today, but every single day I
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think a lot of people today they miss
6:02
that because they're like, well, wait a minute
6:04
Was it supposed to be something more?
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Was I supposed to ignore that like what
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was this supposed to be?
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I think that causes challenges for a lot
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of people today and even in the past
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They don't realize it And hopefully, you know,
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you'll understand that as you as you move
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along number twelve Allow yourself to change as
6:25
you learn growth may reveal that a goal
6:28
Habit or belief no longer fits.
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Well your core values Updating your direction can
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be a sign of wisdom And I think
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wisdom is something a lot of people seek
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but then when they realize there's work People
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don't necessarily want to go through the extra
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work and I think that's a huge huge
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problem for so many people out there today,
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all right, so We have to think about
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these things not just one day, but every
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single day number 13 Stop carrying outdated definitions
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of what you think successes a goal that
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impressed you five years ago Might not fulfill
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you today or make you feel whole decide
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what meaningful success looks like now in your
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life not tomorrow Not five days from now
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Not three weeks from now not a month
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from now not even six months from now
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not a year or years from now You
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need to make these choices now in your
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life And I know that sounds like something
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maybe you're not prepared to do I get
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it I get it But the question is
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how are you responding in life?
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Are you being intentional or you just going
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through the?
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motions Okay, that's probably one of the most
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important things that I can say to you
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guys number 14 I Want you to choose
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meaningful goals rather than impressive appearances a life
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that looks Successful to strangers can still feel
8:09
empty to us aim for substance not applause.
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I Think that's hard for a lot of
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people.
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You know, they want that pat on the
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back.
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They want the applause There's nothing wrong with
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that But we can't make that be our
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be-all end-all.
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Does that make sense?
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I mean, hopefully Hopefully I'm hitting home with
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a lot of people and this is making
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sense But I get that a lot of
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you're saying me John.
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I don't get this.
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I don't quite understand it That's probably the
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most important thing that I can say to
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you guys number 15 build financial emotional and
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practical resilience where possible Save what you can
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All right strengthen Supportive connections and prepare for
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disruptions without expecting to control everything You know
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control fix.
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They probably ruin your life.
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That is like they want to control everything
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and they're like When I can't control one
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thing they get so frustrated But the more
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you let go the more that you allow
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the more that you Let's say release The
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more control you actually have I know that
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sounds kind of crazy, but it is the
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truth ladies and gentlemen It is the truth
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and that truth ladies gentlemen, it will it
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will it will be For you, and it
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will set you free It will set you
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free That's a very important thing for all
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of us to understand number 16, please recognize
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that freedom Requires ongoing maintenance Yeah Just as
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homes need attention your habits your commitments and
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your boundaries.
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They need regular review a policy a procedure
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or a boundary that you put in place
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maybe Two or three years ago May not
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still need to be there anymore or maybe
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No boundary that you have from three years
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ago May need to arise into one because
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you're getting abused.
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I know that's a hard thing for a
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lot of people to realize When we talk
10:29
about control we talk about boundaries people like
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oh my gosh, what do I do?
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What am I supposed to say?
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I think that becomes Hard for a lot
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of people it becomes hard for a lot
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of people Let's move on to the next
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point number 16 Please recognize that freedom Requires
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on going maintenance Just as your home as
11:01
I said needs what it needs realize that
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you need to adjust and be back on
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that track number 17 Review the habits that
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support your own independence which routines give you
11:14
energy clarity and options Keep the usefulness and
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improve.
11:20
What is it working in your life?
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What is it working if it's not working?
11:26
Why do we keep doing it over and
11:27
over again?
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And they're like, oh I've been doing that.
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It's not working.
11:30
Well, why do you keep doing it?
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Why that that is my ultimate question to
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you.
11:38
Why do you keep doing it over and
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over and over again?
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That's hard for a lot of people very
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hard for a lot of people I get
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it but when we have an intentional life
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The Legos the pieces the bricks It sort
12:02
of comes together, but we have to have
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a solid foundation You can't build a house
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build a hotel build any other commercial building
12:10
without a solid structure What we build upon
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Lasts, but if we don't have a solid
12:19
foundation, we're never gonna go anywhere.
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I'm sorry to tell you that but that
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is the ultimate truth number 18 remove unnecessary
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obligations when appropriate Not every invitation or old
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commitment deserves permanent placement in your schedule reassess
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Respectfully, you know, this is why when I
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tell people you put them in your calendar
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and it's a residual thing happening over and
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over again Be careful of what you make
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Daily or weekly.
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I'm sure you have tasks you do and
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that's fine And maybe they take five or
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ten minutes, but I'm talking about, you know,
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you planned an hour here You plan an
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hour there be careful of that.
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Well, this meets every month.
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You don't have to go every month See
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if you want to see if there's time
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if there isn't You don't have to apologize
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to anybody because you're not going to that
13:08
meeting because they're not going to that event
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Or because you're not volunteering People will try
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to throw that guilt trip on you all
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the time, you know, whether it's parents whether
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it's a Clergical staff.
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I always remember the best one We had
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a father His name turn over his name,
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but this was it this was actually at
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school and Father was his name now the
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Newman Club.
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I think it was father it was father,
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right and I remember Meeting with him the
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very first time I came to the Newman
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Club at the University of Hartford and it
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was like he was interesting right
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and I was like father.
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I'm just checking.
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Well, you could check these out.
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You don't have to commit and then He
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would put a guilt trip on you like
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Well, that's okay.
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If you don't have time to you know,
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give for your faith Sure, I'm sure God
14:15
will understand he was just very like clever
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with that.
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Oh father.
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We can't get any helpers for this.
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Oh Bring him to me.
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I'll talk to them So people would come
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out they talked to him Nobody want to
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talk to him because they knew they would
14:30
just collapse It's like let's see.
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The person's name is Mike.
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Hi, Mike So have you thought about our
14:37
about our holiday party?
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I'm not going father.
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I'm not asking you to go I'm just
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asking you if if you thought about it.
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Yeah, I've thought about I'm not going.
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Okay.
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Well, that's fine.
14:48
You don't have to go You're probably busy
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that night doing many other things, right?
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That's okay.
14:55
You don't you don't have to attend our
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little party, you know, we're gonna have lots
15:00
of good food It's gonna be Italian food.
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You like Italian food, don't you?
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We're gonna have pasta.
15:06
We're gonna have ZD or we're gonna have
15:09
vo we're gonna have pizza We're gonna have
15:12
subs You know And have some of those
15:17
stick channels mozzarella sticks Then for dessert you
15:20
like chocolate pie, right?
15:21
We're gonna have chocolate pie But I understand,
15:24
you know, you're busy and you know, it's
15:27
free.
15:28
It's completely free you know, you can come
15:31
and you can talk with other people and
15:34
he's going through the list that he's talking
15:36
and Person's just like just wanting to get
15:39
out of this meeting.
15:40
So I understand if you can't go I
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mean, I know you're busy with other personal
15:44
things, you know in college and different things
15:47
And you're talking more and more and the
15:49
person.
15:50
All right father.
15:50
I'm gonna go You don't have to no.
15:53
No.
15:53
No, I want to go.
15:54
Oh, well, that's good.
15:55
I'm glad well Listen, it was so nice
15:57
that you started to stop and see me
15:59
He had this way about him I had
16:02
to share that with you number 19 protect
16:05
space for learning and curiosity freedom includes the
16:09
ability to explore question and Discover something new
16:12
without needing immediate results.
16:14
I remember When I was secretary of the
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Newman Club, no, I think I was was
16:19
I sick with now I was treasurer And
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I ran the money very well And he
16:24
was asking something as a father.
16:25
I don't think we have the resource that
16:26
we don't Home I have to see what
16:30
kind of budget we get from the Student
16:31
Association.
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Oh, well, you're you're good with that You're
16:34
smart me.
16:34
You'll work it out.
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Well, who you dealing with you're dealing with
16:37
Gina and Brian said yes, I am Oh,
16:40
well, they're nice people.
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Yeah, very nice people So I got to
16:44
go with the meeting tonight and for a
16:47
budget request Okay.
16:49
Well, I'm sure you'll do well Just let
16:52
them know if they have any questions You
16:54
know, I'd be happy to to answer them
16:56
they could talk with me so what was
16:59
funny we're at the meeting and they're like,
17:02
you know, I don't John if we can
17:03
approve this and They said, you know Unfortunately,
17:07
we like what you're doing, but I don't
17:09
we had the budget I Don't know what
17:11
to tell you.
17:12
It's okay.
17:13
I'm just gonna tell father and Father said
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if it doesn't approve he'll come and talk
17:18
with you.
17:19
Well, there's nothing really we can do It's
17:21
just it is I understand so next day
17:24
Father calls up business Brian there.
17:27
Yes father.
17:27
This is Brian.
17:28
You have a moment to stop by my
17:30
office Well, I'm really busy.
17:32
Well, that's okay.
17:33
I can stop by yours if you like
17:34
right you're right upstairs, right?
17:36
Well, no, I'll come down.
17:37
Okay, good.
17:38
Good.
17:38
Good.
17:38
You can come down right now then, right?
17:40
We'll take you what about maybe two or
17:41
three minutes to walk down the stairs.
17:43
You're gonna do it right now Okay, that'd
17:45
be great.
17:46
So you walk down the stairs you go
17:47
see father.
17:48
I'm sitting in the office You know John
17:50
right John Morley, he's that he's the treasurer
17:53
of our club.
17:54
Yes He was at your meeting last night,
17:57
right?
17:57
He was yes.
17:58
He gave a very good presentation father It's
18:01
nothing against you.
18:02
No, I know it's nothing against you.
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Trust me.
18:04
I know it's nothing against us.
18:05
I know that You know John did a
18:09
good job on the presentation.
18:10
I thought he did an excellent job Okay,
18:14
well can I ask why you didn't approve
18:16
the extra $3,000 for our semester Well,
18:21
it was a group decision Maybe look at
18:24
a group decision between me.
18:27
Yep, and you're the only one well no
18:29
and and Gina Oh Gina to Okay, so
18:34
you both decided no well I actually said
18:37
yes, oh you did but Gina said no
18:41
oh And the decision has to be unanimous.
18:45
Oh, so Gina was the problem well, um,
18:49
I Don't want to say anything verbatim, but
18:53
I mean I Can't say yes, if she
18:56
says no, I understand.
18:57
Do you have Gina's number?
19:00
I Do but she's in class.
19:02
Okay.
19:02
What time does she get out of class
19:04
a four o'clock?
19:05
Oh, okay Maybe I just gonna pop by
19:08
she has office hours.
19:09
They're right.
19:09
All of you have to have office hours
19:10
Do you know her office hours?
19:12
I can check.
19:12
Oh, thank you so much.
19:14
She's here from 3 to 5 She said
19:16
today Thursday Tuesdays and Thursday great So about
19:20
430 father walks in Gina's talking with a
19:23
whole bunch of people.
19:24
I happen to be behind him He wants
19:25
me to come in.
19:26
Hi, Gina, you you know, John Morley, right?
19:29
He's with the Newman Club and he You
19:32
know, was that your budget?
19:35
Request me like oh, I'm so sorry, you
19:38
know something at you guys you guys do
19:39
great work Unfortunately didn't get approved.
19:41
I know Brian said he voted.
19:43
Yes, and you voted.
19:44
No Well, it's a group decision well he
19:48
voted yes and you voted no and that
19:50
means it can't be approved Yeah, it's more
19:52
complicated than that if I was like, well
19:54
tell me what you mean by complicated Well,
19:59
you know we're not judging you and he
20:00
comes back as we know God's not judging
20:03
you either right now Everyone will be judged
20:05
on their final day.
20:07
You know that right?
20:08
It comes back and he says how much
20:10
money we're looking for.
20:11
We were looking for just $3,000, right?
20:14
You have a few have about $100,000
20:16
in the main account we do so we're
20:18
asking for $3,000 if we don't use
20:20
it It rolls back, right?
20:23
Yeah So what were you gonna do with
20:25
the money?
20:26
John did tell you yeah, I know but
20:28
what were you really gonna do with it
20:29
a party and The party was gonna help
20:32
build community But you know, do you ever
20:36
come to our club by the chance?
20:38
Um, I Don't that often you're you're Roman
20:41
Catholic, aren't you?
20:43
Yes Okay, you should drop by for you
20:47
know, our free pizzas on on Thursdays and
20:50
you should drop by for mash, you know,
20:52
we have pizza after mass too and She
20:56
goes around busy I understand college students are
20:58
really too busy You don't have time for
21:00
mass and to and to give you know,
21:02
thanks to their creator for being here and
21:07
He's like she's like well, what can I
21:08
do for you?
21:09
Well, so you're sure that that's a that's
21:11
a final no well So that we don't
21:15
have the money.
21:16
We can't give it to everybody.
21:17
I Understand he's just sitting there and I'm
21:19
sitting there and we're looking at her and
21:22
Tina's just like, you know She's like sweating
21:24
bullets and Brian happens to walk in.
21:27
Hi father.
21:28
How are you?
21:28
How you doing?
21:30
Well, we're trying to talk to Gina here.
21:33
Okay, and Brian's like, you know, I think
21:35
you should just give him the money and
21:37
She's like, but but we know we you
21:40
know, I I don't think we have the
21:41
resources.
21:42
Well, we have a hundred thousand We do
21:46
Yeah, father.
21:46
We can't just do this to everybody.
21:48
I know but you could make an exception
21:50
for us.
21:51
God will bless you and He's there for
21:56
like 50 20 minutes.
21:57
It goes.
21:58
Who's your who's your Supervisor what I report
22:02
to that, you know runs your group Mrs.
22:06
Delman what is she here?
22:08
Well, well you why do you want to
22:10
talk to her?
22:10
I just want to have a conversation with
22:12
her about you know, what monies get spent
22:14
on sick Well, you don't have to talk
22:16
to her Father here's what we're gonna do.
22:19
We're gonna go ahead and make an exception
22:21
and approve the 3,000 you are Oh
22:24
God bless you and That's how he works,
22:30
right?
22:31
We have to accept uncertainty Right as it'll
22:36
remain part of our life Even a well
22:39
-designed plan cannot promise every outcome got to
22:42
prepare thoughtfully that adapt where we need and
22:45
father was an Amazing person adapting if we
22:49
need help like, you know, I needed Chris's
22:51
help to set up as Chris is really
22:52
busy He's the only one you can get
22:54
he's the one has a truck that big
22:56
father Oh bring Chris to me I'd like
22:58
to talk to I don't think I had
22:59
a chance to meet Chris He talked to
23:02
him father.
23:02
She's very And I know one time I
23:04
went in front of him and I was
23:05
like father I know what you're gonna do.
23:07
I know you're gonna play the guilt game.
23:08
Oh, you know already.
23:09
I know father I know this very well.
23:11
I give all time.
23:12
Oh, I know you do don't play the
23:14
guilt game with me So you really can't
23:17
do it?
23:18
I can't father.
23:19
Okay, I'm not gonna put any guilt on
23:21
you If you are telling me the truth,
23:23
I believe you So That was the first
23:28
time he didn't try to put guilt on
23:29
me, but I had a real reason.
23:31
I had exams number 22 practice gratitude without
23:39
becoming complacent Appreciate what you have or a
23:43
meaning willing to improve what you can both
23:47
attitudes can coexist He was a very interesting
23:51
priest very nice person But just the way
23:54
he could I don't wanna use the word
23:56
manipulate, but the way he could let's say
23:59
convince you when you were hard said I
24:04
know He would just pick apart that no
24:09
and be like Well, what makes it a
24:11
no?
24:12
No, what what is it?
24:14
You're fearful of or What's the reason Father
24:18
and all time.
24:19
You don't have any time during the week
24:21
to do anything.
24:22
I don't hmm.
24:24
Well, do you have your schedule?
24:25
I'd love to take a look at it.
24:26
Maybe we can find some time together You
24:29
brought your schedule you show him.
24:30
Well, you know, I see a block over
24:32
here.
24:32
I see a block over here Yeah, why
24:35
don't we do it in here?
24:37
You have time to do 15 minutes, right?
24:41
I Guess great.
24:44
I'm glad we solved that I'm glad I
24:45
was able to help you.
24:47
That's how I worked number 23 use your
24:51
experiences to encourage others a Lesson, you learned
24:55
the hard way may help someone else recognize
24:58
the possibility They couldn't see before and we
25:00
knew how father was gonna work number 24
25:03
recognize the freedom and service You have can
25:09
coexist Helping others by choice and healthy boundaries
25:14
can express your values rather than Diminishing your
25:19
independence That's important number 25 Celebrate progress without
25:26
demanding perfection notice the decisions you handled better
25:31
This week a small improvement still deserves recognition
25:36
number 26 learn to return quickly when old
25:41
patterns resurface When father did this later on
25:45
I was like father I know you're gonna
25:46
play the guilt chip on me and I
25:48
know that's you're very good at doing that
25:50
I'm going to stop you there.
25:52
Okay, this is what I can do and
25:55
I need to leave He goes, you know,
25:58
you've become a very Important business person and
26:03
a very good negotiator.
26:05
I'm glad that You've learned some skills Hopefully
26:09
I've helped you to do that Autopilot may
26:12
switch back on during stressful days.
26:15
Notice it Reset it turn off and choose
26:18
your next action without drama number 27 make
26:25
decisions your future self can respect Ask whether
26:28
today's choice supports the health relationships learning and
26:31
purpose you want to carry forward.
26:32
I remember us needing to have Access to
26:37
Genghis which is the Student Union and we
26:39
needed this one room and it was not
26:41
available on the calendar and Mary was the
26:44
head in Student Union.
26:46
She basically ran the Student Union.
26:48
It wasn't in the in the student association.
26:49
That was the office next door and I
26:52
said father.
26:52
This is the schedule.
26:53
It's completely full.
26:54
It does appear to be full on paper.
26:56
What's her name Mary?
26:58
Why don't we go over and take a
27:00
visit to Mary and the lady there was
27:02
an intern at the desk is Mary here
27:04
Well, she doesn't take walk-ins.
27:07
Oh, she doesn't Tell her a father raised
27:10
and I just like to ask her a
27:12
question You can pick up the phone and
27:16
call her or do you want to just
27:17
walk over to her office so picks up
27:20
the phone Hi, Mary.
27:22
Yes.
27:23
I told you not to interrupt me.
27:24
I know I have someone here that wants
27:28
to talk to you.
27:28
Who is it?
27:29
It's father Ray and he just has a
27:32
quick question and she says a few curse
27:34
words I'll be right there Hello father.
27:38
It's so nice to see you.
27:40
It's nice to see you again.
27:41
Mary.
27:42
Listen, we're having a little father.
27:44
Our schedule is so packed She made it
27:47
happen 27 make decisions your future self can
27:52
respect Ask whether today's choices support health or
27:56
Relationships and learning and purpose you live for
27:58
and look back and recognize choices that change
28:01
your direction Progress becomes easier when you appreciate
28:04
what you remember build a life with intention.
28:07
Stop waiting for permission Now our story is
28:10
complete.
28:11
I Invite you ladies gentlemen to check out
28:13
believe me chief to confirm where my amazing
28:15
inspiring creations I'm John C Thank you for
28:18
joining me on a powerful weekend of inspirations
28:20
for your life Don't let another week disappear
28:22
on autopilot your life deserves your attention your
28:26
intention and your actions stay driven Keep growing
28:29
and I'll see you guys real soon.
28:32
Have a good everyone and be well