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Notes From a Certified Madwoman with Lisa Lacy · The Trauma Therapist

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is Guy McPherson.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show. Five, four, three, two,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: and one. Our folks, welcome back to the podcast. Very
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: excited to have as my guest today, Lisa Lacey. Lisa, welcome.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Hey, how are you, Guy? Nice to be here. Thanks
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: so much for having me.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Awesome. Awesome. All right. So Lisa is a writer, trauma educator,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and speaker whose work explores trauma, identity, nervous system adaptation,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: and the psychological patterns people develop to survive. After nearly
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: three decades in corporate consulting and high-stress environments, she transitioned
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: into trauma-informed education, recovery advocacy, and storytelling. Now drawn from
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: her own recovery from addiction and psychosis, Lisa explores emotional masking, perfectionism, hyper-independence,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: and survival responses as adaptations that once served a purpose.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: She's the author of the forthcoming memoir, Notes from a
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Certified Madwoman, and it's companion field guide. She's also the
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: host of her own podcast, Notes from the Edge. All right, Lisa,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: thanks for being here. Before we get going, share with
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: our listeners where you're from originally and where you are currently.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: I am originally from the swamps of Louisiana, Pearl River
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: to be exact, right by the Honey Island Swamps, if
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: you've ever seen swamp people right there. And I now
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: live in Georgia, married myself a couple of Georgia boys,
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: not at the same time, and find myself currently in
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: the beautiful state of Georgia.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Awesome. So how does this start for you?
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Well, it starts with me living with a, on top
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: of everything else, a congenital blood disease that is high
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: risk and life-threatening. It's a clotting disorder that has hospitalized
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: me and almost taken me out with pulmonary embolisms on
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: numerous occasions. And I had a cluster of clots in
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: my lung at the beginning of this year, and I
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: turned 50 right after it. And guy, when these When
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: clotting events happened previously, I just went back to work.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I'd get discharged from hospital on Thursday. I'd be back
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: to work as my workaholic, high-functioning self by Monday, like
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: it didn't even happen. But turning 50 did something. And
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: so we had big, grandiose plans for 50. And I
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: told everybody, screw off. I'm going off to the mountains
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: with my 21-year-old Italian greyhound. And it's going to be
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: him and me. And I got there on Monday. I
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: was looking at this beautiful sunset over the mountains on
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Wednesday when I turned 50, bawling because... I didn't want
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: to leave with these stories stuck inside of me. And
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: there comes the memoir. And there comes the podcast.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: All right. So you started at 50. What the heck
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: happened early on? I mean, you said you were born
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: with this congenital issue.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Disease.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yes. Disease. What was growing up like for you?
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: What's your family like for you?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Well, growing up in the swamps of Louisiana, it's its
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: own character, you know? The swamps are its own character.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I grew up in poverty. I grew up in a
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: lot of abuse. I grew up with a lot of addiction.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: And I ended up an alcoholic myself. I was drunk.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: a high functioning alcoholic for about 20 years, running six
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: figure businesses while cycling in and out of psych wards,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: in and out of jail, in and out of inpatient
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: and outpatient rehabilitation to try to end the cycle. So
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: my my real healing journey, though, started at 40 years old.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I got kicked out of outpatient rehab. for playing the
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: bullshit game with too much fervor. Who hands a bunch
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: of recovering addicts a bullshit button? Guys, seriously, it had
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: the word bullshit on it, and our job was to
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: call each other out on their own bullshit, and I'm
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: good at that. I'm very intuitive.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Like during groups or something?
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, in a group circle. It was our job to
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: call each other out on their own bullshit.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was fantastic.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Bullshit, bullshit.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what it did. It said bullshit, bullshit.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: So what were you serving up? That got you noticed.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: Well, I was playing by the rules according to myself.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: And I did make a woman cry because as far
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: as I was concerned, she was holding back on us.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: And by the time I came back that following Monday,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: they said my anger was above their pay grade. Now,
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: this was a system thing. that was running on old
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: science and I had just gotten out of a dual
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: diagnosis high-end inpatient rehab and I wasn't thrilled with that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I wasn't thrilled with how patriarchal the system was that
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: they were running there and I questioned it. So it
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: wasn't just that I played the bullshit game with too
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: much fervor. It was that I had indicated I had
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: done several of the activities already and they were very
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: difficult to get through the first time I'll give you
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: a for instance. When I got into the dual diagnosis
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: inpatient rehabilitation center in Arizona, we had to do a
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: trauma timeline of all of our trauma starting from birth.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Took about two weeks. And then we had to spend
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: half a day presenting it to 10 strangers that we
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: didn't know other than the two weeks it took us
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: to get to know each other. And when I went
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: to this outpatient rehabilitation, because I knew I was going
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: to need additional support, when I got home, I voluntarily
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: entered this. I voluntarily entered inpatient rehabilitation. They asked me
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: to do the same thing again. So I declined and
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I said, I've already done that. And they asked me
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: to make a collage of my childhood, to which I said,
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: am I supposed to make a collage of sexual assault
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: and satanic worship? No, I'm not going to find those
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: pictures in a folk magazine. That was day one, guy.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: That was day one.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: All right. Let me pause you here for a second, Lisa.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: So obviously, an extremely troubled, I mean, horrific story. Childhood,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: from what you're describing here. You talked about addiction. How,
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: as a young kid, 11, 12, 13, how were you managing?
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I was a performer. I was a stage performer and
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: a competitive dancer. That's the only reason I survived. I
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: was a straight-A student. I was co-captain of the cheerleading team.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: I was a performer. And that was my escape.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: And what about siblings?
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I'm an only child.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Okay. Was there anyone that you confided in? No.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: No.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Okay. Friends in school? No. No one?
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Nobody knew what was happening inside my household until I
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: can remember being 40, getting out of rehab, posting something
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: on Facebook. And one of the girls I hung out
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: with in Louisiana was like, I had no idea. Yeah.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: We were supposed to keep it a secret.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: So at what point, at what time, at what age
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: did you start using substances?
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: I was 16. I was 16. I left home at
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: 16 and a half. So I finished my junior and
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: senior year on my own.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: When you left home, where did you go?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I originally went to San Antonio, Texas to stay with
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: a friend and her family, her parents. She was a
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: high school friend who had moved away and lived in Texas.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: That lasted for about three months. I was a hostess
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: at a restaurant, a chain restaurant at the time. And
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: the manager there took pity on me. lied about my
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: age at the time, let me wait tables because he
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: knew I could make enough to get my own apartment
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: if I waited tables. So I waited tables. So I
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: waited tables while I finished high school my junior and
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: senior year in Texas.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: What happened? How did things unfold? Did you go to college?
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: What did you do instead?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I did. I ended up at college when I was 12.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: on full scholarship for performance and then reconnected with my family.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: And my mother was in consulting, healthcare consulting at the time.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And I segued into healthcare consulting alongside of her. Um,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: eventually I would end up backpacking in Alaska for about
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: six months with a friend and we spent a lot
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: of time in tents. So I came back and knocked up.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: So my options were unemployed actress or corporate consultant. So I,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I accidentally became a healthcare corporate consultant, educating physicians for
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: 30 years of my life to support my families. There
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: have been a few.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Okay. So it sounds like from what you said, it
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: was lucrative.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: Yes. Very.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: I was making six figures by the time I was 22, 23.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Okay. And yet concurrently, you've got stuff going on. Are
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: you still addicted?
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: No, I'm celebrating eight years clean alongside my husband.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: No, no, no. I meant during that time.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, the whole time.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: During that time. I'm sorry. Yes.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: The whole time.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: Okay. How are you managing? What are you doing to
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: survive in a sense?
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: You know, that is a fantastic question. I think if
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: it weren't being such a workaholic and being the primary
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: financial provider for other people.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Would not be here. Yeah. Yeah, I disappeared myself into
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: achieving like I had as a child, right? because that
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: was my safe place. I found the things I was
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: good at and I did them in tunnel vision. So,
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: but yes, I was an alcoholic up until 40 years old. Now,
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: mind you, at 15, my mother was told that I
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: needed professional assistance for emotional maturity, emotional intelligence, I had
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: a suicide attempt at 15, and I can still remember it, Guy.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: My mom cussed out the doctor, checked me out, AMA,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: and we moved, was how that got handled. So I
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: would not get professional support until I was 40 years
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: old after that.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah. Okay. So what happens at 40?
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I was in an abusive relationship. And we ended up
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: in a physical altercation. I'm also a martial artist, a
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: really good one. We ended up in a physical altercation
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: and I got arrested for domestic violence. And that's when
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: I realized that I desperately needed some assistance. And I
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: didn't know anything about mental health. my mental illness, any illnesses, disorders.
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: At that time, I just knew something was very, very wrong.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: And I intuitively, I intuitively chose a dual diagnosis rehabilitation center,
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: which looks at both your mental health, as well as
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: any addictive components that you may be struggling with. And
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I had a team of five of the most brilliant
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: women The guy, I'll tell you, you know, they said
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: you're trauma bonded. There's spiritual abuse. I mean, I walked
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: in thinking I've got a bad marriage and a slight
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: drinking problem. And I left with a chart this thick.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: And on the way home, I spent 30 days there
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: but needed to come back to run the business and
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: to raise my child. She was a teenager at the time.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: I had gotten my chart because I've been in health
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: care my whole life. I got my chart before I left.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: And I'm flipping through, flipping through, trying to absorb all
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: of it. And the last page said this. Prognosis for recovery,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: poor to none due to lack of familial support. So
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: they counted me out.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: So you read that and what are you thinking?
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: How the hell am I going to do this? You know?
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: So what do you do?
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Well, I keep finding modalities. Now, I was fortunate enough
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: to afford great therapeutic support. And if you name an acronym,
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: I did it. DBT, CBT, neurofeedback, brain mapping, EFT, name it.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: I did it. But I was still kind of waking
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: up with not a new default. I was still waking
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: up like, ah, this is too hard. I don't know
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: if I want to do this. And then I started
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: finding mentors and transformational coaches and because of their forward focused, uh, momentum,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I've really started seeing some change then. Um, but I
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: did need to take the look backwards to, to see
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: and acknowledge all the multi layers of abuse that I
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: had endured. Um, But it was.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Well, in all fairness, it's not just the looking backward.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: It's the healing.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Right. I mean, it's one thing to look back, but
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: it's another thing to when we're talking about trauma, especially
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: as to what does it mean to heal that trauma?
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You know. So, well, that's incredible. So you found these
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: amazing people. You start generating this. Momentum. How do things
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: unfold for you? Are you in a relationship at that time?
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: No, I wasn't for about three to four years. I
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: met my husband, my current husband, healthiest relationship of my life.
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you. But we work at it because we're both
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: recovering addicts, right? So we have to. We do not
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: have the luxury to not work at it. Um, but
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: we are both.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: So I don't think anyone has the luxury of not
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: being able to work at it.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Well, see, I don't know. I don't know what it's
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: like to be anyone else, but me, but, um, yeah, no,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I was not in a relationship for a while after
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: getting out of that last one, because, you know, getting
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: out of a trauma bonded relationship feels like you're dying.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: It feels like you're everything. And so it took, Years
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: to just finish the divorce and then years after that
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: to actually go no contact. I would go back. We
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: would start to be friends. Then we would start to
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: be friends with benefits. Then the alcohol would come back.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: And then I was right back in the same cycle. Yeah,
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: right back in the same cycle. So it took a
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: lot of persistence. It took a lot of getting knocked down.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: And it took a lot of just continuing to get back.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: At what point, Lisa, did you say, okay, I want
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: to start helping?
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I am also a QHHT, that's Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique Practitioner.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: That's Dolores Cannon's method. I was doing that in addition
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: to my corporate work in my home prior to the pandemic.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Once the pandemic hit, I said, you know what? I
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: can just do online coaching. And I tried. And I tried.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I say tried. I did work with people in helping
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: them through their trauma through a multitude of different programs.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: It has evolved as I evolved because I evolved so quickly.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: But that is really not my jam because I've heard
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: enough sad stories. What I love doing is what I'm
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: doing now as a podcast host is talking to the
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: people who are on the other side. They went through
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: the dark stuff. Now they're on the other side. Now
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: they want to help people. So I really dig having
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: those conversations. I think doing heavy duty trauma work with people.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: I did it for five straight years. I taught in
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: recovery centers. I taught in addiction centers. I taught emotional
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: intelligence skills. I taught out of my own workbook. And
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: that just got heavy for me. So again, this cluster
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: of clots in my right lung at the beginning of
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: this year really made me realize, okay, I'm done with
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: the one-on-one trauma coaching. I'm not going to do that.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: And I'm a storyteller. I'm a trained storyteller. By the way,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: During all of this, I was going back to university
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: for storytelling, for psychology. I mean, I was making money,
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: so I didn't need the degree. I just needed to
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: go and take all the fun courses. And when it
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: got time to take math, I didn't have to. So
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't. Yeah, math. I still need to take math 101.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's ridiculous. No.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: No, no math.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you something, Lisa. Yeah. I think
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: it's very interesting that you teased out what you were
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: doing from what, you know, and you were able to say,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to listen to all these stories. I mean,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: from what you said, you can appreciate them and respect them,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: of course, but it's too much for you. It's too
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: much for most of us. But I found it very interesting.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: There was a very particular element to the to the
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: stories you do want to help encourage and help listen
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: to and talk about that. How did you figure that out?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: And we should just say for our listeners, your podcast
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: is Notes from the Edge.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Notes from the Edge.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to have that linked up here.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: But talk about those, the excitement you get from listening
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: to that or those conversations.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Well, I get to talk to, so on that Wednesday crying,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I had put out to Source Goddess, God, Divine Energy, Universe, whatever.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: is within us and above us and around us, helping us,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: that I wanted to have better conversations, right? I wanted
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: to have conversations that make me think. I wanted to
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: be in rooms where people were smarter than me. People
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: have the things that in terms of qualities that I like,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: that I admire. I wanted to have different conversations. That's
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: all I said. And what ended up happening, the memoir
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: kind of wrote itself. It really did. It wrote itself
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: because it was meant to be told. I did not
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: want to transition with these stories of getting locked in
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: psych wards and what happens when you're there to come
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: with me. And by the way, my friends, the mean
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: age of existence with this disorder that I have is
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: 54 and I'm 50. So that was really gnawing at
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: me too. And In order to get the book out there,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: I was guesting on people's podcasts and it just wasn't
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: doing it for me. So about 47 days ago, I
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: started my own and now it is currently ranked globally
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: on multiple podcast platforms and it's a hit. It has
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: taken off and I have my dream job.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: It happened.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: We did it.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: So, but okay. So what are the stories that you
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: want to hear?
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: I want to hear stories from people who are already
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: on the other side of the heavy.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: So, quote-unquote survivors?
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Entrepreneurs, coaches, authors, teachers, healers. They have their own frameworks.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: They have their own modalities for healing. They have books
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: coming out. Or just survivors... But that are in a
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: place now where they help other people. So they are
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: the helpers. I want to talk to the helpers now, right?
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: I want to hear their stories.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: What I'm also hearing is you want to talk to
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: people who've done or are already in their healing journey. Yes. Okay.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: So that's a crucial element.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: It really is. And every conversation I have, I am.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Filled up when I'm done instead of drained. And what
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: was happening with the deep level trauma coaching, they were
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: getting the payoff and I was leaving very, very drained.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that's obviously an important self-realization, right?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: We each have to find our own path, our own strengths,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: what feeds us in a sense.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: When someone... going to say when someone asks you i'm
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: going to ask you what what is what do you
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: want to communicate to people like what is your i
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: don't want to say what is your story but you've
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: gone through so much.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: This is true jesus yeah and survived.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Well look at you it looks like you're more than
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: surviving Yes, I have.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: A glow about me now. And I dig it. I
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: dig it. And here's what it is, guy. When I
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: was running into the bottle, because that's what I was doing.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: I was running from all these heavy emotions. I was
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: running from the trauma, running from what happened to me.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: You know, when you finally turn and face all of that,
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: I'm here to tell you, it's not as bad as
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: you think. And it gets easier over time. And then
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: it gets to be a lot of fun. It really does.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: So I went from hating myself to loving who I
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: am as a human. I think I'm the coolest chick ever.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: In fact, I know I'm just a damn cool chick.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I'm a kick-ass time to hang out with. I know
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: how I tick and click now. I can articulate that
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: to the people who love, care about, and are in
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: service to me. And life changes exponentially when your relationships
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: are not a hot, chaotic mess. Because then you're not
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: thinking about them all the time. You can go off
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: in the world and conquer it. But if you're stuck
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: in chaotic, toxic relationships, they encompass all of you. But
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: when you have healthy relationships that fill you up, you
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: can go on to fulfill your mission, purpose, and desires
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: in this world. So I like myself now. It's a
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: big difference.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Huge. Yeah.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I like my own company. I can be by myself
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: and like it and enjoy it and request it.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: So you said you're not just in a relationship. You're
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: married now. Okay. Can I ask, are your parents still around?
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: My dad has passed. My mother and stepfather are still living, yes.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Do you have a relationship with them?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Not with my stepfather. Um, I will talk to my
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: mother on occasion for the sake of, um, my daughter
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: who is now a young adult, um, in her early twenties. Um,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: but when this memoir comes out, um, I'm working with
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: my publisher to figure out what to leave and what
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: not to because she is still living. I'll just leave
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: it at that.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: And the memoir is Notes from a Certified Madwoman. Do
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: we have a publishing date for that? Yes.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: So it's pre-sale in January 2027 and it launches on
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: February 2nd.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: Okay. And you're still in the process of Determining what
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: exactly you're going to put in there, what you should.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: It was written. And then my publisher was like, where's
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: your mom? I was like, well, I just left her
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: out of it.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: She was like, nope. Nope.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: We got to write the real deal.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Because readers know when you're holding back. Readers know.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So what is next for you?
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I think continuing to stay consistent on this path that
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I'm on, be present with the handful of people in
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: my inner circle because they're tried and true and I
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: know it. Continue to grow this podcast that has taken
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: off so brilliantly for the next few years. Get the
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: book out because that story won't leave with me. And
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: I've got two memoirs already right behind it. One is
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: about my father, who was a hardcore biker who spent
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: time in prison for running guns and drugs. And he
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: left 30 years of letters for me that I never
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: opened until after he passed. And he was not the
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: hardcore biker that we all thought he was. And he
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: loved me very, very much. And I didn't know it
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: until after he had passed. And he thought he had
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: a relationship with me through these letters, but he didn't
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: know I wasn't opening them.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: So that will be my second memoir. So I'm going
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: to be here for a while. I've still got shit
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: As we kind of wind down here, Lisa, it feels
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: like you have so much to share with people who
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: are on a healing journey and who are struggling. And
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: I know you were talking about how certain stories and
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: people's lives, you don't want to hear, right? They're too
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: heavy for you right now. But I can't help but
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: feel like you have so much to give to people
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: who are going through trying times. Yeah.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I, I think it's my turn to tell my
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: story now.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: And I think that's why it's not time for me
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: to listen to other people's right now in the way
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: that I was, you know?
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah. Right. That's awesome. All right, Lisa, how do
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: people learn more about you? Um, Get in touch with
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: the podcast. Learn more about the book. What's the best way?
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: We have made it easy peasy. It is www.lisalacy.com. That's L-I-S-A-L-A-C-Y.com.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: No E. You can find out everything you want to
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: know there. All my socials. Pre-sale for the book and
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: the podcast.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: Okay. And we'll have all that linked up here at
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: the show notes page at the traumatherapistpodcast.com. All right, Lisa.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Love it. So inspiring. Looking forward to getting that book.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Congrats. Congrats. Congrats on the podcast. Yes.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: It's my dream job. I found it. it took a
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: while though
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Alright thank you guys take care