Latest / Kinkyboys Podcast / 99 Listener Mail and Voicemails

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99 Listener Mail and Voicemails · Kinkyboys Podcast

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Hello listeners.
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It's been a little while.
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Yeah, you may have noticed the feed has been kind of dead at the minute,
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and that is because my life has been, I think, the busiest it's ever been.
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I won't reveal everything that's going on because, you know, certain
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things involve my private life.
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But life has been hectic and in a lot of ways life has been hard.
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But I, one of the big things is I've moved into a new home.
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It's amazing.
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But moving really was so insanely stressful.
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People when they say moving is one of the hardest things you have to do in life.
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It is not, they are not lying.
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But we are getting settled.
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I'm now recording in my new office space, so I no longer just like recording
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in the middle of my living room.
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I'm absolutely getting it set up, learning how to dead and sound, because you may
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be able to pick up, there's a little bit of an echo in here, so I'm getting like.
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Sound deadening patches for the walls, softer furnishing like curtains for
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it just to help get rid of the echo.
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But yeah.
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So I'm back.
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I wanted to make something just to kick off making again, I already
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have new guests getting lined up.
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But for this, just to get me back in the swing, I thought
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I'd do a listener mail episode.
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So yeah, let's get into that.
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I'm starting off now with anonymous messages provided to us.
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So let's see.
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Will you do an episode on Sneaker and Sport Fetish?
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Yes, like I want to explore so many fetishes and I love just
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hearing people's experiences.
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The big thing I have with this podcast, that's the big like pain point, is
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finding people to speak about it.
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I don't want to just sort of like look into a fetish and just sort of speak on
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it when I have no experience with it.
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If it's one of my own fetishes, fine, that's great, but.
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I would love a guest who could come on and talk about this.
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I may have one who I think we could do an episode with and be contacting
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him, but yeah, both sneakers and.
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Why does sports gear fetishes?
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I would love to do, and yeah, if you feel you can talk authoritatively
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on it or just from a point of passion please get in contact.
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I would love to have people to interview for this subject.
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And this doesn't just go for this subject.
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If you have a fetish we have not talked about or you feel we've
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not fully covered the extent of.
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Getting contact.
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I love when people offer up being able to do an interview with these
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things because again, that is one of the major pain points is like
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getting interviewees for this show is one of the hardest parts of it.
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So if people actively get in contact with me and I love that, like, you
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are not being a bother, please do.
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It.
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Makes everything so much easier.
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Okay, we have the next question.
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In commercial porn depicting kink such as bound guards, et cetera, what has
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driven the change in body types for trade in the seventies previous era?
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Quote, regular guys enjoying kink quote to quote, we mostly want to portray
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muscled guys in kink situations, quote.
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Ooh.
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We have talked on this show before, I think in our gym episode and other ones
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where we've like done bull play and talked on muscle worship and steroid use.
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There are multiple factors that always change societal
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or group dynamics like this.
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Like there's never one big reason.
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I would also be remiss if I didn't talk about the psychological
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effects of the AIDS epidemic on like the sort of gay community.
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As you can see in the seventies, there's much more sort of natural body types,
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sort of your average guy body shapes.
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And then over the eighties into the nineties and two thousands, you basically
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see really muscular people take over.
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And a large part of that is because as a psychological reaction to the AIDS
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epidemic being skinnier or on the skinnier side was often a sign of ill health.
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Like one of the major symptoms when you're dealing with AIDS or HIV related illnesses
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and complications is rapid weight loss.
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So a lot of people put a lot of effort into appearing.
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What they would think of as healthy, which is bigger, more muscular.
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And also around this time, like the technology of bodybuilding, AKA steroids
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and hormonal control mechanisms became widely more known and more developed.
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And you know, it started in sports and bodybuilding in the
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eighties and sort of trickled out into the wider, wider society.
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People have now have more access to essentially chemical assistance, pushing
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what their bodies are able to look like.
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Add into this, like Hollywood studio systems will often push their leading
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men to become insanely big, like unreasonably big and cut and dehydrated.
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Like Hugh Jackman talking about the process he had to go through for
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Wolverine, Rine really highlights this and you can also like.
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Side by side, hu Younger Hugh Jackman from over a decade ago in the X-Men one
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film versus the last one he appeared in the Deadpool, like the standards his
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physique now has to live up to is insane.
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And again, this filters down into porn.
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We see all these images in our lives of Hollywood leading men with
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unrealistic bodies that most people, if they don't build their entire lives
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around, it cannot achieve and maintain.
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And we want to see that in porn.
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Porn's this weird thing where there's a chicken and egg off.
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Does the fantasy come first or does the fantasy get created and
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shaped by porn that we watch and you know, it's a bit of both.
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It's a weird cyclical self-feeding cycle.
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So, yeah, there's these few factors around like society's wider impression of body
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image and what men should look like.
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And also, you know, the gay community's ongoing trauma with the
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AIDS epidemic have really pushed this change towards more muscular bodies.
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Now, one thing I have observed, especially since the advent of only fads and sort
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of the domination of amateur porn, is the reintroduction of normal bodies
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and also like diversified bodies, fat bodies trans bodies, bodies of color.
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Like you're seeing way more diversity in porn than you ever have before.
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And that is slowly trickling into like the more glossy studio porn as well.
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And.
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I'm really actually glad to see this change in direction and we are not
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just being hounded by nothing but this unreasonable muscle body type,
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which don't get me wrong, I enjoy it along with other body types, but
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you know, diversity and selection and variety is the spice of life.
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Okay, next question.
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What is one kink that just simply isn't for you?
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Not to shame, but you're just not into it?
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Hmm.
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One kinks that just not for me.
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I mean, the one that always comes to mind is scat.
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I have a very visceral reaction to imageries like that simply because I have
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a very visceral reaction to excrement.
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So it's really not for me.
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It's really not for me.
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You know, I have plenty of friends who enjoy autumnal tones as we say, and the
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sort of, I do feel like the sort of.
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Taboo around discussing it is definitely lessening, but it's not for me and
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nor do I think it ever will be for me.
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Yeah, I think, I think that's the big one.
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I let's see.
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Oh, this is a long question.
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How do I tell my boyfriend that I want to do pup play with him?
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I've only been a pup recently, and that's kind of my first jump into the kink space.
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We have only played vanilla till now, and I really want to explore that together
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with him, but it's not something we have talked about yet and I don't know how.
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So yeah, introducing something new to your partner can be a scary situation,
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especially if it's not been broached before and it's something new with you.
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I think the big thing is to approach it from a positive angle.
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Don't approach it as, oh God, this is something, I know you're gonna hate it.
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Please don't hate me for this, but can we do this, dah, dah, dah, dah.
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Approach it as something joyous.
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You are excited to try something new and you want to go on this journey
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with your partner, just say, I know this is probably at your wheelhouse,
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but I think this could be a lot of fun and I really want to try it.
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And you know, I see all this joy that people get from it, and I
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think we too could have that joy.
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That's a really important thing.
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Now it does depend on like.
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Your rules of relationship.
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How monogamous are you?
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How open are you?
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Are you like polyamorous?
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Are you just no strings attached open, but no relationships or, you
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know, are you fully monogamous?
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If it's fully monogamous, like, you know, you do have to do things like
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sexual compromise and be open with your feelings because you have to be the sexual
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primary sexual partner for one another.
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The only sexual partner for one another.
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If relationships are more open, you can say, Hey, if this isn't
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your thing, this is a right.
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I would like to explore this with you, but if not, can I explore this
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with other people is also an option.
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And again, frame it as a positive thing like you are exploring, you
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are finding joy and your partner generally wants to find joy with you.
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I think at the root of this, there's a lot of fear of if people.
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Come out about kinks they've not previously disclosed or are just now
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discovering that's gonna be a wedge issue because people change and sometimes two
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people changing in different directions is what causes a relationship to end.
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But the thing is, you can't be in a relationship with someone
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where you can't be yourself.
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That's, that's the bones of it.
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And it can be scary confronting that idea that will this be the
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straw that breaks the camel's back?
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Will this be the point where we diverge?
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And I think that's at the root of a lot of people's fear of this,
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but nine times outta 10, most partners just are happy for you.
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And this is the primary thing a partner should be happy for you to explore,
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but either with you or with others, again, depending on your setup.
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So again, it's kind of at the end of the day, frame it as something positive, but
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ultimately it's just really a matter of like screwing your courage to the sticking
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point and having that conversation.
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There's the only way out is through and the only way to do it is to
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sit down and have the conversation.
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And again, you don't have to do it as this big dramatic thing, you
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can just casually introduce it.
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Hey, you know, I was seeing like people do puppy play recently and
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like I'm really curious about it.
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Would you mind if we did explore that?
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Yeah.
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Like there's resources you can look at together.
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There's nothing sort of beyond just.
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Being willing to talk about it and framing it positively.
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I know that's probably doesn't sound that helpful.
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Like I don't have a pre-prepared script for you, but at the
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end of the day, you know.
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If your relationship is good and strong and worth its salt, this will just open
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up a new avenue of joy for you both.
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And again, there may be an awkward period where the partner gets used to it.
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It's new ideas.
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I speak from experience.
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My husband was way more vanilla when I met him, and he didn't understand a lot of
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my kinks, but that didn't mean he didn't want me to explore them or to find out
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more about them because he was genuinely curious about what brought me joy.
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Okay.
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Like I may wanna go back to that when I have my co-hosts back in the wheelhouse.
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Once we all have time to sort of sit down and do this, 'cause that's
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a question I wanna get back to.
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What are the biggest challenges you face doing this podcast?
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I think I've already said it.
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It's mostly lining up guests, like lining up guests and keeping
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up with interesting topics.
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At some point, this podcast is going to have to end.
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I know we have this thing where we want our TV shows and
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favorite sort of shows content.
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Just entertainment's to go on and on and on.
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But at some point I think I'm gonna be like, I've covered as much as I can cover.
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And that's, you know, this podcast will at some point end until then.
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The big thing that I struggle with is lining up people
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and coming up with topics.
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I am always, always really grateful when people come to me with topic ideas.
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You know, I don't always do them straight away.
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They go into the sort of.
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Churning bubbling, like formation pile.
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Like I've got a big spreadsheet of stuff people have suggested to me, and
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at some point once I find the right guest for it, we can talk about it.
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So yeah, knowledgeable guests is a hard one for me.
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The other thing is just producing it.
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Like, I love recording, I love the conversations.
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I do not love editing.
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It's, it's one of the hardest things.
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And I am currently debating in my head what direction I want to go with the show.
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With regards to Patreon.
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I started the Patreon for this show to help out, pay for small things.
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And then
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we had a huge, in my household, we had a huge cutback in money.
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Like money was extremely tight.
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Right at the wrong time.
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So I really started pushing the patron to help sort of basically pay my bills.
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And it did.
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And I cannot tell you how grateful I am that people like this show who respect
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what I do, came forward and paid for it.
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But now life is getting towards a point where it's a little easier
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again, and I have to ask myself, do I want to carry on producing?
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So Patreon and maybe refund that money into paying an editor to
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edit for me so I can just focus on the fun stuff and nothing else.
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And you know, a professional editor would make this show sound a lot better
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and be able to do sound effects and just sort of massively improve the quality.
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Because let's face it, even though I have gotten better over the years, I
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don't have great editing skills and I think it shows, yeah, so that's the other
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one, just the actual editing process.
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So those are the two things, but like.
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I also think I wanna talk about what really makes me happy about the show,
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which is the people I meet and the stories I hear and the depths or
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understanding the depths of people's psychology brings me so much joy.
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And people have increasingly come up to me and told me that they
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listen to the show and they like it.
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And that still feels fundamentally weird that something I am just.
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Putting out onto the big, endless void of the internet, like people actually
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know about and listen to and connect with me in real life is such a weird
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thing and I am so grateful for it.
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So onto the next question.
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Most number of loads you've taken in a day.
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Oh, I'm trying to remember this one.
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I think.
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Three and like, yeah, I know that's not like the big sexy answer
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because you have certain people talking about taking 10, 20, 74.
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I think I recently saw someone do like a weekend where they took 93 and sort of
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the inflationary rate on loads is insane.
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But yeah, like I think for me that's free.
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And that was a very, very fun day.
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I think that was when I was locked.
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I recently did a week's worth of chastity, which is my record.
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Like I've not been able to break that.
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And yeah, I remember going to the sauna while horny.
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That, that was fun.
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Oh, similar question is the next one.
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Most Wanks in one day.
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Again, that may be disappointing and low for some people.
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Three again, which is a weird coincidence, but I have a very long refractory period.
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I suspect it's to do with my testosterone levels, which is,
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medical thing I've had diagnosed.
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But yeah, it takes me a very long time to get ready to wink again.
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And I do think part of that is like my body's natural refractory period.
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But generally I'm a one wink, kind a day kind of guy.
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So three was when I was particularly horny,
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and that's brought the anonymous.
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Questions to an end.
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Okay, that's it from the last batch of anonymous listener questions.
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We do have more in our inbox from the email and the form
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submission on our website.
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I also have some recordings sitting in our audio inbox from
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when we did the sauna episode.
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So what I'm going to do is the email ones.
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Reading through them.
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They are topics which could basically be their own episodes each.
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So we're gonna leave the email ones.
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And what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna send you a collection of all
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the audio recordings we had back from when we did the sauna episode Now.
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The sauna episode is one of my favorites, and I was shocked at the sort of
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strength and body of response it got.
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A lot of people loved that episode.
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I didn't realize how many people really wanted sort of the art of cruising in
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those spaces explained, and it's going to lead to some more down the road.
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Like I want to do an episode on the mechanics and understanding cruising.
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So I'm just.
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That's in formulation, but I also love people.
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Came in on our audio service that's on our website.
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I will link to it.
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And gave audio accounts of their favorite times in saunas and their opinions
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and some of the things we missed.
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So what I will do now is play you all of those collected together, one
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after the other, and then I think we'll leave it there for this episode.
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I've got a great episode on rigging coming up after a recent encounter.
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Someone talking about rigging bigger guys, which I think is a
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very important topic, that there's not a lot of information out there.
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And of course we've got the hundredth episode coming up that is I'm
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trying to get something in the works for that 'cause I think a hundred
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episodes is definitely a milestone.
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I want to celebrate with this.
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So I will leave you with the recordings, but until then, listeners play safe.
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Hello.
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So, uh, my first experience in a sauna was with a friend of mine and
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I made the mistake of not wearing my glasses 'cause I thought I'd steam up.
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I didn't realize that I was in a dry sauna, not a wet sauna.
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So I already failed step one.
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And I was walking around a bit like Velma from Scooby-Doo, which, um.
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There are worse ways to walk around, but there's definitely not better ones anyway.
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Um, me and my friends were having fun with a guy in the hot tub.
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Not too much fun.
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'cause again, being sa uh, sanitary, um, and you know, it's me, him, and a
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cute American, and I'm suddenly aware that there are seven hands at play.
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It turns out there is a guy who.
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Was just sniffing poppers, acting kind of crazy, who had just staled
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up and put his hand on my balls.
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I was like, oh, hello.
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I didn't expect you to be here.
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So I kind of wafted him off and then I just felt this hand kinda moving
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around towards the American's.
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But so I just kinda put my hand in front of it.
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Then the cheeky bastard tries to take a ring that I have on my
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finger off, so I'll move my hand.
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So I just dug my nails into 'em and I giggled.
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Um, so, uh, moral of the story is consent is key, even if you're a blind bitch.
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Um, so yeah.
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Anyway, big fan of the show and, uh, yeah, good podcasting.
22:41
Hi Craig.
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This is Frank . My first time at a sauna was at Steelworks in Chicago,
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where I went to join a rubber fetish party at their top floor.
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I didn't even intend to go to the sauna, but went there for the rubber party.
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The party ended up not being.
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Very nice or hot.
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So I started to explore, um, the rest of the venue and ended up at the Labyrinth.
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That was a lot of fun.
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All kinds of, um, corners and glory halls and rooms and a lot of fun and hot guys.
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And I really liked the chasing part of it where you pass on one, you turn around,
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you flirt with them, and then you find the old space to, uh, kiss and frolic and, uh.
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Full on fucking as well.
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It was a really fun experience and it was great to end up there by chance,
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'cause I don't think I would have otherwise went to the sauna right away.
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And there, I really loved your podcast 'cause it's a great walkthrough on what
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actually happens at a sauna, how you get in, what is the different area.
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So for people that have never been to a sauna before, listen to the podcast.
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It's a great explanation of what you can expect.
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And then.
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Go and have fun.
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I liked it a lot.
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Bye-bye.
24:09
I got a, I got a bit of a cautionary kind of message and tale here.
24:15
I always find the sauna to be like going to the Fay realm or the Fay Wild.
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You know, you go into the forest alone and you don't know what time you get back.
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Like no one knows what happens.
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You just disappear off the face of the earth.
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In our sauna, we have no idea what time it is.
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Obviously no one has access to their phones or everything, so.
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You know, there is, there is no communication, there is no phone.
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There is only just who you see.
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And upstairs they design it like a maze and it's dark and rooms
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close and everything like it's, it's almost full labyrinth style.
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So you really just can't find people if they decide to separate, which is
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what happened a couple months ago.
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We had a group going and a friend that I was going to take home to their
25:02
home while I went home a bit earlier.
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And this person had gone upstairs and had disappeared for like a
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solid hour and a half longer at the time we were meant to go,
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and like our whole group was looking, no one could find him.
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And I was like, if anyone finds him, make sure he communicates with me.
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It's like, I've gotta go soon.
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Like I can't really wait any longer.
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Just do all these things.
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Eventually this person did come up, did exist, but I, I left, like I had
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left like half an hour before this person realized what was going on.
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And it's just kind of the vibe that happens anytime you go to the sauna.