Latest / The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education / Home Ed Consistency: Rhythm vs Routine (and Letting Go of the Perfect Timetable)

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Home Ed Consistency: Rhythm vs Routine (and Letting Go of the Perfect Timetable) · The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education

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Welcome to the big Home Ed Conversations podcast.
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I'm Kelly Rigg. I'm a home Ed mum of two and a
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qualified mindset and ADHD coach.
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I'm here with my lovely Co host Ashley, fellow home Ed mum of
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three and a former primary teacher.
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If you're new here, this podcast started as honest, heartfelt
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chats around the coffee table and it's grown into a space
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where hundreds of you tune in for real, unfiltered
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conversations about home education, mindset and the
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different ways children learn. We try to cut through the noise
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and focus on what really matters to home educating families.
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Today we're talking about consistency.
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It's one of those words that could make home Ed parents feel
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a bit twitchy, isn't it? It's not.
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It's not a nice one because there are weeks when everything
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flows beautifully and weeks where the mass book hasn't been
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opened. Some are still in their pyjamas
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at 2:00 PM and you're wondering if you're getting any of this
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right. This week, for example, we are
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painting our bedroom. It's been something that has
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been on the list for goodness knows how long.
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And we've literally jumped back into September.
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We got really good with our routine.
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And then I looked again at this week and I was like, yeah, we're
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painting. Like we'll be painting all week.
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So we have done a surprising amount of education, actually.
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It's been very, very satisfying. And I will kind of get into this
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in a minute, but what we want to unpick really is what
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consistency actually means. So is it doing the same thing
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every day or is it something softer, like just keep showing
1:31
up, keeping the curiosity going, coming back to things after a
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break? All we want you guys to do as
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you're listening is to think about what we're telling you and
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convert it into what's going on in your world.
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Nothing we say is ever prescriptive.
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Everybody's home education journey is different.
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So if you listen to us and you start to find yourself thinking
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a bit like when you're scrolling on Instagram that you guys
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aren't doing enough or that actually maybe you do need to be
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thinking more about this stuff, I want you to start panicking
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right now. And remember that we're real
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too. And when we talk about things,
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we have weeks when everything has gone wrong and we have weeks
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when everything feels like it's going right.
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And consistency is a real challenge.
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And that's why we're here to talk about it.
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The tricky bits of home education and our first proper
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topic. So handing over to Ashley, how,
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how has your week been? How consistent have you been?
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Oh boy, actually, well, I think about this.
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So I will actually say that we did.
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We are mostly consistent in the last, I would say for September.
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We've been very consistent in doing like the after school
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activities, if you want to call it that, and getting some school
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work done. So I would say it's been very
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predictable in terms of what we're doing each day.
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This week though, we did have a change because my girls really
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wanted to go to this outdoor meet up that runs weekly on a
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Monday afternoon. And typically we don't go
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because they have an art class on Monday morning and it means
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that we come home, have lunch and then spend the afternoon
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during doing school work. And this is because we have
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another day in the week where we don't have a lot of time at home
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because we're out with the horse for a large chunk of the day.
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And so if we miss Mondays, then really we only have three days
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that we're doing a chunk of schooling.
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And so that just felt like too little.
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And so we do we I can't miss our Mondays.
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But because they wanted to do this, I offered them on the
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weekend. But if you want to do your
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Monday school on Sunday, then we can go Monday afternoon to this
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meet up. And they were super excited
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about it. This is on the Saturday.
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And then so Sunday came along and it was like 10 AM and I'm
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like, all right, guys, I have stuff I want to get done for
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this weekend. If you want to do school, we've
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got to start now. And there was a little bit of
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like, Oh, no, like, and so I'm like, all right, then that's
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fine. I'm happy to do this from like,
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don't know. We do want to do it.
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So it still is a bit of prodding.
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But anyway, we've got it done. And then they really enjoyed
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Monday And so they said, oh, let's do this again for next
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week. And here's the thing.
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I'm happy to do it occasionally, but I don't always want to spend
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my weekend doing that because it means that I don't get this
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stuff done like you're talking about painting this week.
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I don't get this stuff done that I had wanted to do.
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So we found a way to make it work.
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I don't know if we'll continue that, but that was our, I would
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say, deviation from our standard predictable routine, I guess I
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would say. Yeah, I was going to say, I
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mean, I've obviously said that this week has ended up with with
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a painting kind of takeover really.
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And I think that I mean what what I mean by consistency, I
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think in our world is, is really kind of just always kind of
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coming back to things. We tried to have a daily rhythm
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so a a long time ago and like people can shoot me over like
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how much I, I decided to monetise our daily rhythm.
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But I am working with two ADHD autistic children who, let's
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face it, would stay in their pyjamas forever, would never
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have a bath and would quite happily, like eat sugary snacks
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out of the cupboard every single day.
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Like so I, I have unfortunately got to create some boundaries
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and structure in our life to achieve things.
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And typical ADHD brains as well, we're quite externally
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motivated. I know that I work hard because
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I have the reward of earning money.
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I also enjoy the I enjoy showing up for myself and I enjoy
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finishing things too. Like I enjoy seeing the fruits
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of my labour and sometimes what I'm doing is really exciting.
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But let's face it, not everything we do is fun.
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And it's the reward and the finishing line that motivates
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me. And so we've for a long time had
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kind of a daily rhythm where they're expected.
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And as I kind of said to them once as well, this kind of word
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expected said to my son once. Would you like it if nobody ever
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expected anything of you? Like when you actually really
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think about that, that's that's not a very nice feeling to think
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that people genuinely expect nothing from you.
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Like Ick, like it made me feel really gross, even just like
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talking to you about it. That's not a nice feeling.
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And actually for him to know that a lot of lot of young
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people want to feel valuable. They want to feel like they're
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participating in the family, they're they're participating in
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their community, they're achieving something, they're
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working towards a goal, whether it's theirs, whether it's
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somebody else's, they're part of something.
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And ultimately we set up a daily structure that means that they
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do one helpful task. So it could be empty the
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dishwasher, it could be picking up all of the bits of cardboard
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from the latest dog destruction moment, whatever it might be, or
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it might be whatever really. But then they have to do three
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things of school work. So like just educational work.
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And that is often very much free choice.
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Actually they will pick from, we've got like a list on our
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fridge of all the different subjects that I want to try and
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cover at some point in the week. And we start off with just a
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free choice. They can pretty much do whatever
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off that list. But as the week goes on,
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unfortunately we get left with what we're left with.
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So as the, as the kind of Saturday, Sunday might come
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around, we have actually just got to do some history or we've
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just got to tick off the geography box or whatever it
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might be. And actually that works really
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well because they know what they're expected to achieve
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roughly in a week. Nobody's stressed about it.
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It's never a case of, well, you haven't done that.
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So that's that. But ultimately, they know that
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if they do their one helpful task, their three nods towards
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something educational every morning, then at 3:00 when
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screen time comes around, they're free to do whatever they
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want. But they know that there's no
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screen time until that happens. And it's not a punishment, but
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it is a motivator. And yes, external motivations
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shouldn't always be the driver for learning and encouraging
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people to participate in life. And so I do completely buy into
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that idea that you want them to want to learn and to do things
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because they want to. But we're talking very briefly
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before we got on about how difficult it can be when you're
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little to see the wood for the trees.
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Like you're not stepping back, you're not looking at the big
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picture. You don't know what there is to
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learn about. You don't know what there is to
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achieve. You don't know what goals the
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world is going to have for you. You have no idea what your
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future looks like. And in lots of ways that
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wonderful and it gives them such freedom to just be whoever they
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are and to learn about whatever they're interested in.
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I mean, like I, I didn't enact any of this yesterday.
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We were just heads down getting on with the painting like, and I
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kind of realised halfway through the day that I really wasn't
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engaging them in anything. And I was like, like, we need to
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look at this. What we doing?
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But I stopped and I actually did some reflections and I looked at
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the list of subjects for the week and I actually realized
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that they had done quite a lot already.
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And we actually ticked off 5 things on Monday that was just
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like they just did it all by themselves.
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And so that consistency of this is the gist of what we're
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expected to do every day. And of course we have days like
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going out for our kind of meet up days or a big kind of trip
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will come up or one of us is sick or whatever.
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Like days of course end up going, yeah, nobody's doing any
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of this today. But they are so used to this
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rhythm that actually they just go and seek out things to do
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very, very happily in their own way and are able to be very
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productive. And I think that for me,
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consistency truly just comes down to people understanding
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what is expected of them in this world, whether it's a job,
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whether it's your family life, whether it's running a home,
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whatever it might be. We need to know what the
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expectations are. We need to know what the goal is
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so that we can show up and be reliable and provide that
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service to whatever it is that we're servicing.
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And this is a value. I think consistency actually
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comes down to a bit of a personal value, doesn't it?
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It's a choice, but it doesn't have to look like a set
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schedule, like a timetable at school or a term time learning
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whatever or a curriculum like that doesn't necessarily have to
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be what it looks like. So yeah, I find myself, that's
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kind of what I was thinking about, kind of what I actually
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mean by consistency. That's kind of where I got to.
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Yeah, I think it's a very subjective thing, especially in
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the home school world, because what means what it means to me
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might mean that we're starting school every day by 9:00 AM.
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But what it might mean for you is no matter what, like where,
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when, how we're gonna, we're learning, right.
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Like that just might mean like a regular cadence of learning.
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So I think that ability to sort of define what it means for you
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and if it's even important to find what of it is important for
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you. And what that looks like is
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probably going to be the key to to really not thinking that it
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means everything has to be identical because that that is
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very different than like a predictable routine.
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And I think that, you know, we can get into this later, even
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like the pros and cons of of that predictability for you and
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for the child. But I think that like a child
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roughly knowing what to expect from their day and what to
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expect from their grown up. So knowing how a person responds
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and not being pretty predictable is going to be really important,
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right. So if you're, if one day you're
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freaking out and the next day you're, you know, cool as a
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cucumber like that can be really unsettling to a child because
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they, they don't know what they're going to walk into.
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And so I think I think that at least when I think about it,
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it's kind of like having like like, you know, I'm going to say
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we're going to do school even though you act surprised
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everyday like. Stop saying.
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Why do they always act surprised?
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What is that about? I don't.
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I don't know, like, wait, what? We're doing this again literally
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everyday. Yeah.
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So but like they know that I'm going to say no, we're going to
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do it. And, and that, and I think
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we're, we're very similar in a lot of ways that sometimes it
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doesn't get done in the same order, it doesn't get done on
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the same day, but like within a week we are doing the same
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thing. So like today my girls had
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guitar. We did like a larger science
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lesson together. And so I didn't get to math with
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my middle daughter before we had to run some errands.
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And then my youngest had gymnastics.
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So we got back here. My oldest was on on on school,
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an online out school class, and we weren't recording yet.
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So I said OK, we have about an hour for her to do her class and
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then I have to record. So we're going to do your math
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right now at 6:00 at night. So is that our normal schedule?
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No, of course not. But is it consistent that you're
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going to do 5 math lessons in a week?
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Yep. So here we go.
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So yeah, I think, I think it just, yeah, got to define it for
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yourself, I guess. Absolutely.
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And I think it it's it's very different as well depending on
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how your kind of family setup is.
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So like what you're like you've got three kids.
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I personally can't imagine anything worse than having to
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have yet another person to to manage.
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I can barely manage myself, let alone three of us.
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I've I've got 2 both school age 1 is roughly kind of year two
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another the other is roughly Year 5.
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But ultimately they they are at very different levels and they
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do need very different approaches and they do need a
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very much different level of patience to support them with
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their learning. And so kind of that consistency,
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as you said, like you mentioned briefly, that kind of idea of us
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being consistent and us showing up for them.
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Even that I mean, I know that all of us can absolutely relate
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to that kind of idea of one day being like totally on air and
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totally focused and then the next day maybe feeling a bit
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kind of exhausted or you can't, can't, can't get on with things
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with them. We literally had an experience
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with this last week. I didn't realize I was coming
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down with a cold. Something was definitely up.
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Like I could sense that something was up with me.
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But they had their forest school day and the next day we were
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supposed to be doing our topic, which is the zoologist topic at
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the moment. And I sort of sat down to start
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doing it with them and they looked at me and like, my son
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was white as a white as a ghost and my daughter was like off
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playing with the cat on the floor.
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And I was just like, this isn't going to work, is it?
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Like we're literally just none of us are ready to do this.
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Like none of us can bring ourselves to sit here and get on
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with it right now. But actually then recognising
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that I am going to consistently pay attention to their needs, my
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needs and adapt is being consistent.
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That response to that situation breeds safety.
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It, it breeds a knowledge that they're not going to be forced
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to do things when they're literally sat there feeling
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poorly, feeling really under the weather, absolutely shattered
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that I am going to adapt and I am going to support them with
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that. And no, we, we don't always
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handle these things very well. Sometimes we can feel really
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frustrated by it. I think if you're like you're
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saying, if you feel like you're falling behind or you haven't
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managed to get much done that week, I have absolutely had
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Sunday mornings when I've looked at that list of subjects and
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gone, Oh my goodness, like there's like 4 subjects left
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unchecked or we haven't got anywhere near them.
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What on earth am I going to do with them?
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Oh my goodness, I've got to work this morning and I've got
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errands to run this afternoon. When am I going to find time for
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this now? And what we have to work on, I
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think sometimes is that little bit in our brain that panics and
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thinks if we don't stick to the plan, whatever are consistent
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kind of routine structure that we have created for ourselves to
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follow, if it starts to go awry, how are we going to respond to
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it? And I think that sometimes this
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is kind of, I guess it's really kind of pulling in these ideas
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and limiting beliefs and stuff from society and what society
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believes about people who are consistent, people who can stick
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to a routine, people who show up, people who are on time,
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people who deliver things consistently.
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That there's a lot of beliefs there that can make us suddenly
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feel very stressed and can even make us feel quite angry or
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upset or sometimes even pass that on to our kids, especially
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if they're older. Because you find yourself
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thinking, come on, like, why haven't you just gotten on with
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your maths to speak? Or why haven't you just done
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like I've asked you 3 times to make sure that you did this and
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you haven't done it. And now I've got to like sit
17:14
down and force you to do it. And we have to be really careful
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of this because what we don't want to do is turn any of their
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learning really into something they truly hate or a fight
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between you or like your stress over doing this thing becoming
17:32
like a Oh my goodness. Like, why are we so stressed
17:34
about this? Is like, because when we think
17:36
about how our nervous systems respond to things, so much of
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everything you read everything nowadays is like this nervous
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system response, this fight or flight, this like constant
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heightened cortisol stress that we kind of live in around some
17:51
of the most mundane things. Sounds like tiny, tiny things
17:55
can spiral us off into like another planet and we don't want
18:00
our kids to respond to their learning with that same fear.
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And I guess it's how how we can then obviously go, OK, I am
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feeling a bit stressed because I feel like actually we haven't
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done enough this week. OK, but what isn't on this list?
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Like, what have we done instead? And I guess we can kind of come
18:21
into some of this reframing in a minute and thinking about like,
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if things do start to fall off the wagon, so to speak, is it
18:29
really the end of the world? Like have we actually still
18:32
probably done so many amazing things this week that our kids
18:35
have really gotten a lot out of? Like for example, painting this
18:40
bedroom absolutely has meant that I have not had enough time
18:43
to sit down and actively 1 to one do education with my
18:46
children. That could look like a lack of
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consistency, that could look like me prioritizing something
18:53
inane like painting over my children.
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But actually we've had connection.
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They've helped me to paint. They have sat together and did
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some online apps like they've got night zookeeper they're
19:05
doing at the moment for literacy and spell cast for their
19:08
spelling like or a few different like apps and stuff we use
19:11
online. And we said look right, go at
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them, spend some time on each of them please, both of you help
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each other. And they sat for like 2 hours
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having fun doing stuff together. And then we caught them holed up
19:24
in my son's bedroom reading to each other and they would
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they've been brilliant and they've got a lot got loads of
19:30
stuff today. Has it meant I've sat with them
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and done it with them? No, but actually it's still
19:36
good. Stuff has still happened.
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It might not have been necessarily what I would have
19:39
done with them today on a normal day, but it has definitely
19:44
increased their skills and knowledge.
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So I guess it's it's looking at moments when our brain is going,
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oh, we're not enough, we're not doing enough, this isn't good
19:52
enough. I'm not being consistent and
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asking yourself, well, actually, what good is there here still?
20:00
Like, why doesn't it matter? Why is that OK?
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See, I would almost argue that you were very consistent with
20:08
your like values, which is like honoring their appreciation for
20:15
novel activities like painting is probably something pretty
20:19
cool they haven't experienced and like kind of invigorated
20:22
them to be like more interested. And then maybe they would be if
20:25
you were doing something that you always do, right.
20:28
So I think that I think that's like, I agree with you that
20:30
there's so much going on there learning wise.
20:32
And then like again, you're just consistently valuing learning in
20:39
general. Like even when we went on your
20:40
cruise and all this stuff, right?
20:41
Like all those opportunities to continue, you know, building the
20:45
education. So, yeah, I mean, I think and
20:47
that's probably true for for most people, if you're home
20:51
educating you, you automatically have most most likely, you know,
20:56
an appreciation for finding opportunities in different
21:00
experiences that might not be seen as educational, but we all
21:04
know are. Yeah, I suppose that is really
21:08
true. And I guess the yeah, it was, it
21:11
was quite fun being able to hand them both the tools to paint and
21:17
not be panicking. Like they're so much older now
21:20
and so much more capable now that with a little bit of a
21:23
brief about trying to avoid the carpet and all these things,
21:27
right? It's like please don't drip it
21:29
over my bed. Like this.
21:31
And then they turn around with their hand and just spread.
21:34
Yep, like that. Exactly like that.
21:37
But it was nice to kind of be able to trust them with the
21:39
tools and, and life skills is actually one of the things on
21:42
our list is to try and encourage some sort of new skill each
21:46
week. And so, yeah, I mean, I think
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this is the thing. It can, it can feel sometimes
21:52
like you're like, I don't know, like copping out or something,
21:56
or you're not putting as much effort in as you usually would.
22:00
But actually there's effort in every experience, no matter how
22:04
random it is. And as you say, lessons to be
22:07
learned and everything. And, and I, I obviously very
22:09
much value experiential learning as well.
22:11
I, I think it's, it is one of the most important forms of
22:14
learning that I value for my children.
22:16
Is that really relevant experiences?
22:19
But yeah, I think just kind of coming at it from the mindset of
22:22
like, if you could be worried about something, then it would
22:24
be that I didn't get to sit down with them to do their school
22:27
stuff today. And that that could be that
22:32
could mean that the time they spent on those apps wasn't as
22:34
productive as it maybe would have been when I was sat with
22:37
them and like trying to keep them on track.
22:38
But actually seeing them enjoy learning together like that is
22:41
really, really beautiful. But anyway, so yeah, I guess
22:45
it's it's then kind of what I kind of touched and then briefly
22:48
was that kind of like, why do we value consistency in our society
22:51
so much? Like, why are we so worried
22:52
about this? Why does it feel so important
22:56
and and almost become an actual value of being human like a
23:00
human value is is that I am consistent that I show up?
23:04
Why do we care about it so much? Yeah.
23:08
I mean, I think there's a couple ways to approach it.
23:09
Like the first, when you look at just like research, right.
23:13
And we know this from like little kids as well that we've
23:15
all you know, if you're home educating now you, you had
23:17
younger kids at some point. So we know that like that
23:20
predictability is breeds security, right?
23:24
So family routines, having a predictable bedtime, a
23:29
predictable eating time, especially when kids aren't
23:31
verbal yet, like all of that helps to encourage positive
23:35
developmental outcomes, but also it gives children the
23:39
opportunity to anticipate what's coming next, right?
23:42
And then they can manage their behavior and their expectations
23:48
in a way that helps them kind of have that self-control is not
23:52
the right word, but like an, an awareness to themselves and how
23:56
they react. And then of course, like you
24:00
mentioned, stress. And so when things aren't that
24:06
don't have that same predictability, especially in
24:08
children, which I struggle with this so much because I can like
24:10
fly by the seat of my pants constantly.
24:14
And I realized that like for three children, that's
24:16
absolutely not helpful. So I have to constantly check
24:21
myself. And it's so it's an effort for
24:22
me to stick to, to a routine as well.
24:25
But we know that when they can anticipate it and they can
24:28
practice that it, it creates A certainty, it creates a
24:32
security. It doesn't have to be rigid, but
24:35
it just has to, it just has to have a predictable flow.
24:39
And I thought this was described to me one time.
24:42
I think it was a Montessori program that like they each day
24:46
there was like a central activity.
24:48
So like, Monday was cooking, Tuesday was art, whatever.
24:52
And the children that just that slight flow through the week,
24:58
everything else in that day might be a little bit different,
25:01
but they were going to cook something and then they were
25:03
going to have art. And the kids would like ask what
25:06
day is today? And they did not mean Monday,
25:09
Tuesday, Wednesday. They meant is it cooking day?
25:11
Is it art day? Is it exercise day?
25:13
Like what? And that predictability gave
25:16
them like an opportunity to emotionally and behaviorally
25:21
regulate themselves, right? There was that just predictable
25:24
environment. So.
25:25
So that's part of it. OK.
25:27
So I think there's like a benefit to the the children that
25:30
causes an emphasis in society to focus on this.
25:33
But I think that largely can depend a bit on the child.
25:38
Some children are going to have to really have a tight routine
25:40
or they're going to go bananas, get very stressed, get very
25:44
dysregulated. Other children can have like
25:46
that daily kind of flow and that's perfectly fine.
25:49
So I think knowing your kid and homeschooling really allows you
25:52
to do that can help you. I have a couple very, I have
25:54
three very different children. So we, we, we are on that scale,
25:57
each one at a very different point.
25:59
I think that the other big part of society has to do more with
26:06
like the large systems that if you think about a school, like
26:10
if that isn't super scheduled and consistent, that system's
26:14
not manageable. And so the question then
26:17
becomes, which I know is like what you were getting at is like
26:19
how much consistency is for the child's benefit and how much is
26:24
necessarily for the benefit of the system?
26:26
And I think that that kind of I love that comment.
26:28
That is the the benefit of the system.
26:30
Like what is like. So I mean, I was literally
26:33
explaining this to my kids a little bit through the concept
26:35
of traffic the other day and driving.
26:38
That ultimately, if you want to have a complex society where
26:45
hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people all live and
26:48
work and drive and go to hospital and you know what I
26:53
mean? Like catch the train, get to
26:55
places at a certain time and you have to have elements of society
27:00
that can be made consistent. So we have chosen to follow a
27:03
clock. We have chosen to follow a
27:05
calendar. We have chosen to stop at red
27:07
lights. We have chosen to drive on the
27:09
same side of the road that ultimately, I guess this is sort
27:13
of like coming from the perspective of a rebel here as
27:16
someone who has stepped outside of what society expected me to
27:20
do in sending my children to school.
27:22
So I clearly I've chosen not to do that.
27:25
And so I have deviated. And I guess it's explaining to
27:29
them that there's flexibility and there are different ways of
27:35
approaching a problem. Like we don't all have to be
27:37
robots. We don't have to do exactly the
27:39
same thing, believe the same things, follow the same gods or
27:43
religions. We don't have to eat the same
27:45
foods. We don't have to necessarily go
27:48
to a hospital when we're sick. We could go to a homeopathic Dr.
27:51
We can, you know, there's millions of different ways of
27:53
dealing with a lot of different elements of our life.
27:57
But there is some things that have been chosen by society to
28:01
be consistent because it is safe or because it's it allows things
28:07
to run. Otherwise it would just fall
28:09
apart. Like if we said to everyone, I
28:10
mean, we've we've seen what driving can look like in some
28:13
parts of the world where they are literally just all over the
28:16
place. Like even there, they have got
28:18
the rules to drive on one side of the road or the other.
28:20
But like, it can be really chaotic and quite scary to
28:24
witness. I know going to Sri Lanka, for
28:26
example, was hilarious. Like, it was just just crazy.
28:29
Oh, yeah, you should see Sicily. Yeah, it's fantastic.
28:32
But it's just terrifying, Right. And ultimately, we make
28:36
decisions to keep things a certain way to help things to
28:39
run smoothly. And I suppose one of the ways
28:42
that we can sometimes approach this subject with our children
28:45
also think about when we kind of think, well, actually like if
28:48
you're listening and thinking, well, I don't want to have a
28:50
rigid routine. I don't want to tell them
28:52
they've got to do XYZ every week or XYZ every day.
28:55
I guess it's to kind of think to yourself, what is it that you're
28:59
your family ethos is where are you already consistent?
29:03
Like where have you already adopted some consistencies?
29:06
Like what are they expecting from you?
29:08
Do you like never have sugar, for example?
29:10
Or do you always eat fruit before you have a meal?
29:14
Or like what? Like these are random things
29:17
that are just popping in my head.
29:18
Like we all have different rules or different boundaries or sort
29:22
of different, just just things that we have decided are always
29:26
going to be the same or are going to be very similar anyway
29:29
and fairly consistent because we don't none of us operate well if
29:35
we don't have some rhythm. Like I will always sleep in this
29:40
bed. Like it's like this is my bed.
29:43
Yes, OK, that does change sometimes.
29:44
Like we do have moments when I can't sleep in this bed for one
29:47
reason or another. It might be away or we might
29:48
have something going on. But ultimately that's where I
29:51
sleep and it's OK make we make these rules because they make us
29:55
comfortable. But I think like when we think
29:59
about societal expectations around it, like you say, we are
30:03
here to in some ways benefit the system.
30:06
If we follow the rules, then the country runs smoothly,
30:11
supposedly we can argue until we blow the face as to what the
30:14
rules should be. And some of us will not agree
30:16
with some of them. And therefore we abide by
30:19
different ones in our little world that we live in our little
30:21
bubble. But ultimately we have laws and
30:23
we have rules to keep us supposedly safe and to keep the
30:27
country running smoothly. And I think when you apply it to
30:30
work or to education or to any other kind of area,
30:33
realistically it's somebody's goal, somebody's agenda,
30:38
something that's been you're trying to achieve.
30:41
Ultimately they ask you to participate in it in a kind of
30:46
reliable way. And if I think about what I
30:49
worry about, so like the reasons why this stuff even comes up.
30:53
So why are we worried about it? Well, I'm worried about it
30:56
because sometimes my kids don't want to do this stuff.
30:59
And actually I worry about them being able to do those tough
31:01
things. Like when someone says, I'm
31:03
expecting you to be on time every day, this is when work
31:07
starts. Do I do I want them to be able
31:10
to do that? Yeah, I do.
31:12
Like I do want them to be able to do that.
31:14
Like if someone says then this is the deadline for a piece of
31:17
work that you need to get done, Do I want them to just ignore
31:21
it, not care, not not hand it in if it's obviously, if it's they
31:26
hate their job and they're not enjoying doing that job and
31:28
their boss is horrible and the whatever right, then fine.
31:31
If you don't want to be doing that job, then find a different
31:34
one. But ultimately, if you have
31:36
agreed and have been contracted into a role, there's going to be
31:41
bits in it we don't like and bits in it that we just have to
31:43
do. And so, yeah, I do want them to
31:46
be able to say, OK, I know what's expected of me.
31:48
I want to earn that money. I want to have the success of
31:51
finishing this task. I really enjoy this job.
31:54
I want to be able to work towards that promotion.
31:56
I want these people to respect me, all of those different
32:00
things. I want them to be able to see
32:02
how their consistency and their reliability is important and
32:07
does like go outwards, right? It does have a ripple effect.
32:11
It does. It does build relationships.
32:14
It does build opportunity. It does open doors.
32:18
And no, I don't want them to be a robot.
32:21
I don't want them to just say yes, Sir, no Sir to everything
32:23
anybody ever says to them. I want them to be able to make
32:26
conscious choice. I want them to decide, is this
32:29
something I want to be good at? Is this something that I want to
32:32
be doing? I want them to have like to make
32:35
a good choice for themselves, but I want them to have the
32:39
skills to be able to do it when they get those challenges put in
32:43
front of them. And I don't think that that's
32:45
alien to anyone. I'm pretty sure all of us would
32:48
say the same, that maybe the reason why we worry about this
32:51
in home Ed is because it can be so flexible and so on a whim and
32:58
based on mood and energy and interest.
33:02
And when we've we don't, we never really got that
33:05
opportunity as kids. We didn't, we didn't get to
33:07
experience what learning like that was like.
33:09
We had our interests, I'm sure, but most of us were, were sat
33:12
through a school curriculum where we were told what to do,
33:15
when to do it, how much to do, and we met the goals and
33:20
expectations of, of everybody else.
33:22
Like we were just told what to do.
33:24
Did it? Did it allow me to grow up to be
33:26
particularly creative? That took time and a lot of
33:29
personal nurturing. There was things that had to be
33:31
undone for sure. So it's there is like a risk to,
33:36
to kind of asking our children to care too much about these
33:40
systems and want to operate too tightly within them.
33:44
We want them being creative. We want them having their own
33:47
ideas. We want them pursuing their own
33:49
their own goals and dreams. But I guess it comes back to
33:52
just giving them the skills to be able to make those choices
33:55
and to do them well. And sometimes that that is a
33:59
skill that has to be shown to them or kind of other other
34:03
people's expectations sometimes will be at play.
34:07
And I don't think that's a bad thing for them to have some like
34:11
awareness that other people will expect things of them in certain
34:15
scenarios. And as I say, they just have to
34:18
decide how much weight to put behind those scenarios, like how
34:22
much they care rates. But that's that is going to be
34:26
their their life, right? That's their choices, their
34:28
future. They get to decide how much they
34:30
care. But ultimately we have got a
34:32
skill that needs to be passed on.
34:34
And I mean, they, yeah, maybe it's the question as well here
34:38
of do we believe they will develop these skills all by
34:41
themselves? Like, in what ways do we see
34:44
them being consistent without anything that we've done being a
34:48
part of it? And.
34:49
There's also the the fear of like what I don't want this
34:52
touches on all aspects of home school at some point.
34:56
What I don't want is for them to be resentful of me down the road
34:59
and say, if you had just been a little more consistent with my
35:02
education, maybe XYZ would be the case, right?
35:06
Or I wouldn't have such reluctance to pick this up or I
35:11
and I, I don't. I think we all work very hard to
35:14
ensure that this is not the case.
35:16
But there's always going to be that back of mind of we're not
35:19
doing enough, We're not covering every single topic.
35:22
We're even though the schools don't do this either, but like
35:24
you feel it more acutely because it's your child and you're the
35:27
one responsible. It's a lot easier.
35:30
And I often say, Oh my gosh, I wish I wish I had never heard
35:33
about home education and just blindly followed because the.
35:38
No idea. Yeah.
35:39
Yeah, the weight that it would lift off your shoulders, right.
35:42
But of course, that's not what I want either.
35:44
But anyway, no. I get what you mean, I
35:46
understand. I've had the same thoughts like
35:48
sometimes like all of the self work I've done, all of the self
35:51
growth and riding myself of the limiting beliefs and approaching
35:54
a whole different lifestyle and different ethos that I was very
35:57
unhappy back then. Got to be honest, I was very
36:00
unhappy. But sometimes you think to
36:02
yourself, like all of the stuff I know now cannot be unseen.
36:05
Like now I know how important. Exactly.
36:08
You can't, you can't block it out.
36:09
But I would love to just watch Netflix for five hours one day.
36:12
That'd be nice. But I never had the time for
36:15
that. But you know, you were talking
36:17
about like people expecting stuff from you and like, like
36:19
wanting our kids to, to be responsible, reliable
36:22
individuals that someone else can depend on.
36:24
And I think, you know, if, if punctuality is something that's
36:27
very important to you, you're going to end up with someone who
36:30
also values that. So you'll end up finding someone
36:33
whose values not yours. And I, I, but I think that in
36:36
the case of what we've been talking about in terms of why
36:39
consistency is important for particularly for my home school
36:43
is because as we're looking at the future and what my
36:48
particular daughter wants to do with her life, there is a
36:52
society given step path to get there.
36:58
And so will she get there on her own?
37:01
Maybe. But would it be a lot easier if
37:04
I help guide her and we map out what that's going to look like
37:08
versus like her having to have a lot thrown at her in the 11th
37:14
hour, right? Or be like, gosh, if I had
37:16
planned this better, I would have these three things on my
37:19
resume. But now I'm not, it's not even
37:21
possible at this point because I waited too long to look at it.
37:24
Or I just, I just didn't realize that I couldn't do all of that
37:28
in a shorter amount amount of time because the kids don't
37:31
always have that same concept of like what goes into learning
37:35
biology. And that is something that if,
37:40
if she wants to be a vet, for example, is pretty important.
37:44
And so as we're looking at all of this, like could she learn it
37:48
very quickly? I'm, I'm sure we all have seen
37:50
those memes about how you can learn math in like 6 months or
37:54
something, the entire high school curriculum and that
37:58
that's fine, but I think I don't want her to have to learn
38:02
everything in six months, right and so.
38:05
We we have to be. Yeah, and and she'll be
38:08
miserable, right? And then not want to do it.
38:10
And everything you talked about, the love of learning and all
38:11
that will be lost. And so I think that the value of
38:16
us being the grown up and then being the child is that we can
38:19
share our wisdom that we have learned and learned through
38:21
personal experience. And I get that some things you
38:23
have to experience to learn. We know that.
38:25
But ultimately, if we can continue to nudge them towards
38:30
their goal or at least help them understand what's going to go
38:33
into it, I think there's some value that we can provide for
38:37
that. And so that's where for me, the
38:41
consistency can be important. I also have one child that if if
38:46
we give an inch, she takes a mile.
38:48
So like if we if we back off from that routine even a little
38:52
bit, getting her back on the bus is impossible.
38:55
And so we learned that a lot. Which one you're talking about?
38:58
Do you? Of course you do.
38:59
This is not a shock to anyone that knows my children.
39:02
So for us, like this summer, we took a huge gap, which we don't
39:07
normally do in our like, you know, traditional schooling
39:11
because we had a lot of travel and so we school all year round,
39:15
but we break when we travel. Well, we took all of our travel
39:18
in like a three month chunk and we dipped in and out a couple
39:22
weeks here and there, but largely like our summer was off
39:24
and this getting back into the routine.
39:27
Whoa, like again? She's the one that's just like
39:30
again, again school. I mean, I had a little
39:33
organization with my once about this kind of the, the reticence
39:37
that you can sometimes see. So I literally sat with them one
39:41
morning. They were like I said, like,
39:42
come on, let's sit and do some something.
39:44
Or they're like, oh, I don't want to like, why do we have to
39:47
do this again? I'm just like, well, like, like
39:49
we always say, it's really important to to keep the
39:52
subjects broad, to keep trying different things, like doing a
39:55
little bit more skills. Like sometimes there's like
39:57
little holes in like what you maybe have learnt.
39:59
So like their maths skills are like super sharp, but there are
40:02
definitely like some little bits that I haven't really done much
40:05
with them on. Like I don't know, like symmetry
40:07
and sort of different vocabulary around shapes.
40:09
For example. I noticed recently we still
40:11
haven't really done an awful lot on.
40:12
But like, I sat down and said like, OK, being serious.
40:18
What are you feeling right now? Like that feeling that you're
40:21
getting like, what is it? And he's like, I don't know,
40:24
like I just, I think it's going to be hard.
40:26
And I'm just like, OK, but when have I ever just like dumped
40:31
something really hard in front of you and been like, finish it
40:34
or you're not like, you know what I mean?
40:36
Like I don't get put in tonight. I'm like, is that how this goes?
40:39
And he's like, no. And I was like, how is it going
40:42
to go? And he kind of said, like, we'll
40:44
do something fun together. You'll probably play a game or
40:46
like, you'll have found a fun way to tell me about it.
40:48
And then we'll like, do it together.
40:50
Like you'll help me if I don't know how to do it.
40:53
And I was like, right. And I said, well, I then gently
40:55
challenge you to try it a bit more yourself, a bit more
40:58
yourself, a bit more yourself until you've got it.
40:59
And he's like, yeah, I'm like, OK, So what are we actually
41:04
Like, what's, why are we wanting to say no?
41:08
And I was like, what's the concern here?
41:11
And he was like, I don't know, like actually, I don't really
41:13
understand now why I was saying that.
41:15
And he genuinely had this whole like flip of a thought.
41:17
It was like, I thought, this is just like an automatic.
41:20
I'm just going to say no because whatever it is that you want me
41:24
to switch gears into doing just feels a little hard right now.
41:27
And like I know that transitions is super difficult in in my kids
41:30
world, in my world as well. I really struggle with
41:32
transitions. I literally now when I finish
41:35
doing a bit of work, I will turn my computer off and I will flop
41:39
on the bed and I will just lay there for like 15 minutes and
41:42
just stare at the ceiling and just try and let it all fall out
41:44
of my body so that I can go and transition back into mum mode
41:47
again. Because it's hard.
41:49
Like our brains are busy and they're, they're doing something
41:51
else and we've got to change gear.
41:54
And that can be really difficult.
41:55
And I think sometimes we can perceive that that reticence,
41:58
that grumpiness, that whining as them not enjoying it or what
42:04
we're offering them is boring or what we're offering them is
42:06
pointless. But actually, like most of the
42:09
time, they might not realise it now, but like eventually they
42:14
start to put the pieces together and realise how relevant this
42:16
stuff is. And I always say to them, if
42:18
your brain has kept it, that's because it believes it's
42:21
relevant and useful. So if you're thinking to
42:24
yourself that the stuff we're doing is completely pointless,
42:28
we'll see if it falls out of your brain because if your brain
42:31
can perceive its use, it will keep it.
42:34
But like, we always talk about this idea of, of like learning
42:37
whenever they get a bit like, but it's just too hard.
42:39
But I can't do it and they don't want to do something.
42:42
I always say to me, like, how hard was it for you to ride a
42:45
bike when you first sat on one? Really hard, right?
42:49
And now you can whiz about like doing Rd.
42:52
Rd. rides with your dad, like no problem whatsoever.
42:55
And I was like, so actually, how fun is riding a bike?
42:59
Really fun, OK, How fun is reading a book now that you can
43:02
read really fun, right? So it kind of helps them to
43:06
understand, I think as they reach certain goals that you've
43:08
worked on with them and like they've wanted to do or you have
43:12
had a bit of an agenda behind maybe and they do actually see
43:15
the benefit down the line. Those examples really help them
43:19
to understand that they might see what you're offering them
43:21
right now as being boring or pointless.
43:24
But actually my son wants to be a zoologist.
43:27
We've looked at a job description, we've seen what he
43:30
needs to achieve to be able to get it.
43:32
I have stressed to him they are only asking for 5G CSES.
43:35
But let's be honest, that job is going to have 1000 applicants.
43:39
You want to be a head and shoulders above the rest.
43:42
So like, if you have got anything else that you're
43:44
willing to contribute to your CV now and onwards instead of
43:47
getting that role when it comes around when you were older.
43:53
And so he's totally motivated by that because he's like, yeah,
43:56
you're right. I want to show them that I know
43:58
everything about snakes and I want to show them that I really
44:00
care about conservation. I want to show them that I can
44:02
do maths and I want to be able to write my notes properly so
44:05
that other people can read it and so that they can obviously
44:07
not feed the Penguins the wrong amount of food or whatever,
44:10
right. So like, he's motivated by the
44:13
skills he needs to achieve the goal now, but does he know what
44:18
skills are needed to be able to achieve that goal without
44:20
guidance? No, he does not.
44:23
Like he will absolutely develop those skills.
44:26
And like on the job, he would develop those skills and in
44:28
experiences I shall offer him, he would develop those skills.
44:31
It will not all be sat at a table reading textbooks and
44:34
doing like written work, but it certainly will require some
44:39
focused, concentrated like biology lessons and all the rest
44:43
of it to really cement information to be able to pass
44:45
the required exams to be able to achieve those goals.
44:48
And so I think this is where like it's child LED, it's child
44:51
motivated. It's motivated by the potential
44:53
for his career and opportunities in the future and his love for
44:56
animals. And he's like super passionate
44:58
kind of subjects anyway. But it absolutely will be
45:01
scaffolded by me. And yes, he can deviate from it.
45:07
Yes, he can tell me if in in two years time he doesn't want to do
45:09
this anymore and he wants to go down a different avenue.
45:11
Of course he can. It's his life and it's his
45:14
opportunities. But the skills he'll have learnt
45:16
working towards that goal will be useful and relevant to
45:19
another. And I think we just have to, I
45:22
guess like Long story short around all this, sometimes I
45:26
think that we can consider consistency almost like the
45:31
devil, like this idea of if we are consistent or if we put a
45:36
routine in place or we offer a certain schedule or structure or
45:39
whatever, that actually we're not unschooling now or we're,
45:42
we're not child LED or we're not whatever.
45:45
And I think sometimes it's about finding a sailor.
45:47
We keep talking about balance, but I think there does need to
45:51
be a balance that is absolutely specific to you and your child
45:55
and your relationship with them and their age and at what point
45:59
they suddenly kick in with an interest in something or a
46:01
motivation to do something. But there's, there's lots of
46:04
different ways to be consistent. And I think ultimately it it can
46:08
be as unique as you like, but consistency belongs everywhere.
46:13
We see it everywhere. It's a part of our world and it
46:16
and it just shows up constantly, doesn't it?
46:20
Yeah, the. Other side of this is like if
46:22
you had something you were really working towards, like
46:24
let's say your child when it's been an Olympic swimmer, right,
46:28
they'd have you pretty consistent with that training.
46:30
You can't just like swim a couple days a week for a
46:34
undetermined amount of time and hope to get to the Olympics,
46:37
right? You're gonna have a pretty rigid
46:39
schedule. So I think there's, I mean,
46:43
that's obviously like a pretty unique case, but it's the same
46:45
thing could be said for learning an instrument.
46:47
Like if you practice once a week, you're probably not gonna
46:50
ever really master that. Like there is, of course, the I
46:54
mean, we know that X number of hours leads to mastery of any
46:58
skill, but I think that's also something that can be comforting
47:05
because we know that if you can, if you wanna be good, you
47:10
literally just have to practice. Yeah, like you don't.
47:13
Have to always. Have natural born talent for
47:16
something, of course that's gonna help.
47:18
And there are cases where yes, that may be the case, but
47:20
largely that's not true. And so it there is some comfort
47:26
in consistency to know that like you, you can reach your dreams,
47:32
my friend, like you, you can do it.
47:34
You put in the work and and you'll do it.
47:36
And like you were saying, like wanting to have a child who's
47:39
able to put in the hard work and to like learn from that and
47:42
apply it to maybe another interest down the road is is
47:45
really important. And I think there's even like
47:48
this is something so silly, but I I want to make sure we mention
47:50
it before we end. There was a woman who was one
47:53
time talking about when she went off to college and I forgot the
47:56
reason for the story, but she essentially like got to her her
48:00
dorm room as a freshman to college, American College, not
48:03
English college, it's a university.
48:05
She moved into her dorm room freshman year, had a roommate.
48:09
And this is over the weekend, right?
48:11
So they go through their first week of classes and then the
48:13
weekend rolls around Saturday, you know, Friday they're out
48:15
partying. Saturdays, kind of same thing.
48:17
And then Sunday morning her roommates like laying in bed
48:21
kind of doing nothing, watching TV.
48:22
And she gets up and unmakes her bed and goes to do her laundry
48:27
and her roommates like, why are you already like washing your
48:29
sheets? This is crazy.
48:30
You've been here a week. You don't need to wash sheets
48:34
right away. And the girl was like, I didn't
48:35
even think about it. They didn't even think about it.
48:37
Like, I just do it because in my house, we always washed our
48:40
sheets on Sundays. And we changed the sheets.
48:43
And then she just did the rest of her laundry at the same time
48:45
because she was going down to the laundry room.
48:47
And so she mentioned this because she said there were a
48:51
lot of things that she did growing up that she never
48:55
thought much about. It was just the routine they
48:57
followed in their house and it actually served her later in
49:02
life because she never had to think about things that were
49:05
otherwise like kind of the unattractive bits of life,
49:07
right? She's like, we just we clean the
49:10
bathroom every other Sunday like that.
49:13
And and it's so funny because I thought, gosh, that's not very
49:15
much. Like I'm cleaning my bathroom
49:17
all the time. But I guess because I have
49:19
little kids who maybe aren't the cleanest and like as we get
49:22
older, I guess if I was living alone, I probably could clean
49:25
the bathroom twice. A twice a month, but that'd be
49:28
maybe OK. But regardless, like wouldn't it
49:31
be great if you're a college student or newly moved out of
49:35
the house, 18 year old starting their life or even just the 18
49:38
year old that lives in your house, clean their bathroom
49:40
every other week without even thinking about it just because
49:43
that was the routine that you said.
49:44
So I think when we also talk about consistency, homeschool
49:48
aside, there is a value to thinking about this 'cause I had
49:53
never thought of that. And and I'm kind of loosey
49:55
goosey with when I do laundry and change the kids sheets, I
49:58
might just wait for them to spill something on it, like a
50:00
glass of water. And then, OK, now we're changing
50:02
the sheets. But like, now that I think about
50:06
it, I never really had a cadence of that growing up.
50:09
My mom would do it. She sometimes would make me do
50:11
it some on and off. We had like a cleaning lady come
50:14
and she would do it. And that really didn't team me
50:17
up as lovely in the moment, but like didn't team me up for
50:21
baking that into my routine as a grown up.
50:23
And it's something I had to like work to put in.
50:27
And so I think that when we think about some things that
50:31
might really help our child to not have to think about doing
50:35
laundry, they just sort of get up, do it and then get on with
50:36
their day. Like that's lovely.
50:38
And so it's just something I wanted to mention because I
50:41
think we can sometimes throw the baby out with the bathwater.
50:44
And that's one of the things where, you know, maybe it is a
50:47
rigid thing in your house and on Sundays it's clean the bathroom
50:50
and laundry day. I don't know.
50:51
So just food for thought, but it, I, I thought that was kind
50:54
of an interesting way to look at routines and easing things for
50:59
our kids later in life as well. Yeah, I think so too.
51:02
And I. Think like again, sometimes this
51:05
stuff comes around to like the family teamwork element of the
51:09
expectations you have, right? Like sometimes if I myself
51:12
saying to them like like my son, for example, as I came upstairs
51:17
to record, I said, right guys, can you please go and do the
51:20
dishwasher? The kitchen is a state like
51:23
daddy has been painting all day. His shoulders are killing him.
51:26
Like I've cooked dinner. Could you guys just clean up the
51:29
kitchen now, please, like do it between you.
51:32
But if I find out that Daddy's had to come to our stairs and do
51:36
it all, so help me God, I was just like, please, please,
51:40
please do not leave that with him.
51:42
We're a team that you guys have mostly been playing and having
51:45
fun together today, which is absolutely where you should have
51:47
been. Your children, you're having
51:48
fun, but please can you just make sure you've done that
51:50
helpful task before you, You carry on playing a game And
51:53
they're like, sure, OK. And they went off and did it
51:55
quite happily. And it's sometimes about these
51:58
little moments of reminders that we're all part of something,
52:02
like in this home, we're A-Team as a family.
52:06
When they get a job, they'll be part of a team working towards a
52:09
goal in their education. It's for them, but they're not
52:14
alone in it. Like we absolutely love doing it
52:16
with them. And them respecting me and my
52:21
time when I sit down to do stuff with them is as important a kind
52:25
of a, a lesson, I suppose, as it is them working on trying to
52:30
figure out how they're going to be independent in their learning
52:32
and what they're going to be doing and all the other things
52:35
that right. So all these different elements
52:37
are skills. They're all things which are
52:38
very important. And as I say, just just develop
52:42
you as a human being and allow you to go into the world and be
52:45
successful in whichever way you decide to be successful.
52:49
And you can absolutely decide which bits of these things you
52:52
care about. And you might have like a
52:54
household where you've got like a super rigid, like, this is
52:57
what we do. This is how we get it done.
52:59
This is what happens every day. And you might grow up and be
53:02
like, sick of all that. I'm going to be a bum now.
53:06
That's me and, and basically just live my life.
53:09
I want to live it. And that's totally fine.
53:11
They're going to grow up and make their own choices.
53:13
And none of this is even like when we think about what we're
53:17
trying to achieve here. It isn't about us imagining who
53:21
they should be, where they should be, what they should be
53:24
able to do, what like future they should have, and us making
53:27
sure that we've done everything right to make that happen.
53:30
The truth is that we have got no control over the decisions they
53:33
will make in their lives, and that's a good thing.
53:35
Like, I don't want to be that mother.
53:36
I don't want to be telling them, no, you can't marry that man or
53:39
no, you can't move away or no, you can't go to college that far
53:43
away or whatever, right? Like I don't want to be that
53:44
person, like I want to support them in every decision they
53:48
decide to make for themselves. But I want them to know how to
53:51
make a good one and how to to actually show up for themselves
53:56
and to show up for the people that matter to them so that they
53:59
can actually maintain a life that feels good.
54:02
And whilst ADHD means that consistency is like my elusive
54:08
cousin who I never quite managed to get my firm grip on, there
54:12
are lots of ways that I am consistent even with ADHD.
54:15
Like, even like, there's a lot that still absolutely is a part
54:20
of my core human experience, which is to be passionate, to be
54:23
curious, to be open, to be receptive, to listen to other
54:27
people, care about people. Like those are all ways that I
54:30
am consistent. And all of those things haven't
54:33
allowed me to have a wonderful life.
54:35
And so 100%, not everything is about what we want and how we
54:41
teach it. And our kids get to make a lot
54:43
of great choices for themselves, but they, yeah, sometimes like
54:48
the way that they show up and who they just are without
54:51
anything, without any learning, without any input, is also one
54:54
of the most beautifully consistent things to write.
54:57
Just to seeing them being who they really are and cultivating
55:01
that and allowing that to happen is beautiful and so important.
55:04
So it's not about beating it into submission and making it
55:07
something else, but it's just, yeah, offering them skills and
55:10
opportunities for the future. So hopefully we've hopefully
55:12
we've reassured you with that. I feel really good.
55:14
I feel actually quite positive at the end of this conversation
55:17
that that we're doing a lot right.
55:22
And yeah, I. Really.
55:22
See. I see.
55:23
My kids being consistent and in the examples I've given, I've
55:26
kind of maybe realised that they do, they do care a lot about
55:31
their own education. They do care about me.
55:33
They care about their animals, they care about the world they
55:35
live in. They care about their
55:38
commitments. Like my son like is marking the
55:41
time like and checking before his classes to make sure that he
55:44
isn't late because he cares about them and he wants to go.
55:47
And so, yeah, I think there's a lot of excitement there for me
55:50
in thinking about that, that these are skills that have been
55:54
passed on. And yeah, that they've, they've
55:59
got a really good future ahead of them and I can't wait to see
56:02
what they do with it. So that's us as a wrap for this
56:05
week, a nice little kind of question to end on for you to
56:09
think about and to please send us a message and tell us what
56:12
the answer is. You can do that through our
56:13
website, you can do it on Instagram, etcetera, etcetera.
56:16
But what's one small thing that you feel like you do
56:19
consistently that makes a big difference in your kids life
56:23
that is much, much more important than any curriculum
56:26
could offer. So sort of one small thing that
56:28
you do consistently that's made a bigger difference than any
56:31
curriculum that there could ever be.
56:32
Please do tell us what your answer to that question is.
56:35
But anyway, we'll see you guys again.
56:40
You've been listening to the Big Home Ed Conversations podcast.
56:43
Thanks for tuning in. Don't forget to subscribe, leave
56:47
a review, and share with a friend.
56:49
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Big Home Ed Podcast
56:53
for updates. Also check out our website at
56:55
Big Home, edpodcast.com. Next episode, we're going
57:00
straight into what happens when you've been showing up and
57:03
showing up and showing up with nothing left in the tank.
57:06
You guessed it, burnout. If you're pouring from an empty
57:10
cup right now, or even if you aren't, you won't want to miss
57:14
this one. See you then and thanks for
57:16
listening.