Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #260 Introducing Justin's Mum

Transcript

#260 Introducing Justin's Mum · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, I remember you sitting down going through What Color
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: is My Parashue?
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Is the book to see what career?
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And it said to call people and ask and what
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: they said your strengths.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Were or what they saw as your natural abilities.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: And everybody that you rang or spoke to said communication.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and dad.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: Gooday. This is doctor Justin Courson, the author of six
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: books about raising happy families. And I'm really nervous about
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: this Mother's Days coming up on the weekend Sunday. For
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: Australian and most of the world that celebrates mothers, I
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: think it's pretty well universal. And on Tuesday we had
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: a chat with Kylie's mum about what it was like
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: to raise Kylie. Today, I'm the one that's in the
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: hot seat, or maybe it's my mum in thet I'm
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: feeling like I'm the one that needs to be nervous.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: By the way, I'm here with Kylie. Kylie, I'm going
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: to get you to run the interview. Oh I am,
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: I'm ready.
• 1:03
  Speaker 5: I've got some good, good questions to draw out all
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: the goss about you growing.
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: Up all right, and we've got we've got mum on
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  Speaker 4: the one.
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  Speaker 3: Hay, mum, Hey, Justin, Hi, Kylie, Hi.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: Now a couple of things. First of all, I know
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: you've pulled over on the side of the road because
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: you're always busy and it's hard to have a conversation
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: with you ever, But can you just do me one
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: favorite while Kylie chats with you about whatever she's going
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: to talk to you about. Can you promise me that
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: you're not going to take any other calls and say
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: just hang on someone's calling? Can you just ignore it?
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: I was just thinking then I might just start the
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: car and drive somewhere else to get to a quiet
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: space so I can stand up and talk because I
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: took a bit of standing up.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: But I'm not going to just.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Yes, stay in the car down the side of the
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: road because we're doing this now, right. So Kylie, what
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: do you want to know? So, Mum, I've got three
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: key words.
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: I'm just going to give you a word, and I
• 1:52
  Speaker 5: want you to tell me what comes to mind when
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: I say it. So when you think of Justin and
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: I say the word Sarah Lee, oh my gosh.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: What comes to mind, Well, what comes to mind is
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: the fact that Justin loves the New York cheesecakes and
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: we used to buy them because we lived around the
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: corner from the Sara Lee factory, and I used to
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: have them stockpiled in our freezer. But what Justin would
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: do is he would go down and get his favorite
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: cheesecake out. He'd eat it, and then he would absolutely
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: carefully put the packaging all back together with the seal
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: on the top of the foil.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: And close it over and put it back in the freezer.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: So if if we were having people over and sorry,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: I'd sometimes do frozen dessert for people coming over.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Forgivable, I'd run down.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: And grab out the Sarah Lee cheesecake and it would
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: go hum, and it was like an empty box.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: It would just go so yeah, that was Sarah Lee.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: Mind you. This is all In primary school, I was
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: latch key. I would walk home about a k from school,
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: let myself in the afternoon, and usually my best mate
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: Andy Lucas and I would jump on our bikes and
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: right around the neighborhood until mum got home when it
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: was dark.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: I just thought about the freezer.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: When you decided to have a garage sale and decided
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: to plug in your stereo and unplugged the freezer.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and the.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Three dollars you made on the garage sale did not
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: make up for the five hundred dollars worth of wasted
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: food because you didn't plug the PowerPoint back here.
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: No, that's right. So I had this garage sale. I
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: wanted to sell all of my childhood belongings that I
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: no longer needed because I was twelve and I was
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: too big for them.
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: So I hope we're getting a sense of who Justin
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: is and who his um is.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: I was a good kid, I like really, but the cheesecakes.
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  Speaker 4: Mum didn't just have one cheesecake in the freezer. This
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: is the important thing. Mum would go and buy them
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  Speaker 4: wholesale from the like the factory seconds at the serahle
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  Speaker 4: warehouse around.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well they were all perfect.
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  Speaker 4: So not only not only was Mum giving free and
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: desserts for this.
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  Speaker 5: Factory, they were all perfect.
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  Speaker 3: Problem with one of the boxes unbelievable.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: I can't then, no wonder I turned out the way
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  Speaker 4: I did.
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  Speaker 5: Well, I don't even have to give three words. We've
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: had a whole conversation.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: With one pro stream of consciousness.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: But what I what I would do is I wouldn't
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  Speaker 4: just eat one cheesecake. I mean, Mum would open the
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: freezer and there would be ten to twelve ten or
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: twelve cheesecake boxes in there.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Your dad got you back. Remember Remember when your dad
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: got you back?
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because her dad used to run a milk truck.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: And I opened up the glove box once and there
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: was this chocolate block in there, chocolate, And I pulled
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: it out and it was empty. The chocolate had fallen out, and.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: He'd meticulously done it. He'd done that deliberately. He put
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: it all back together so it looked like a perfectly
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  Speaker 3: brand new chocolate.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Knowing that you were going to open it and you
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: were going to get exactly what you'd done to.
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: Us, totally got me. All right, what's what's your next?
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: Bromp plenty?
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: Okay, surfing versus swims?
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Squad? Please? No, that's a heartbreak. I want to cry, sorry, mum.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Why do you were so sad?
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: What happened? Well, I'm going to cry. It was so sad.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Justin used to swim at the morning and his dad
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: would take him at four thirty every morning.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, so sad.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: And we found out Justin's squad trainer, he's swimming train
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: orang as his coach and said, can you I think
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: you need to know something and we said what and
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: he said, well, Chris is dropping.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: Justin off of a morning.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: He's coming in, he's swimming a lap and he's getting
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: out at the other end and he's sneaking off again.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: And what we found out was that Justin had teat
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: up with his mate to meet him and go surfing
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: every morning, so his dad.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Would get out of bed take him to swimming.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: We would pay for his coaching and squad training, and
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: then we found doubt that he had been duping us
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: and not going to squad training. Yeah, but the sad
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: thing was, oh, it still hurts that we made a
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: really wrong decision. We were so upset and we didn't
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: know how to handle it properly. That you had saved
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: and you were going to that Billy Joel concert and
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: we sold the tickets. We said, you can't go. And
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: it still hurts me to think of it. And remember
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: years later we bought Billy Joel tickets and we took
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: it to the concert. But that was such an unjust
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: way to handle that situation.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, jo I'm really sad about it.
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  Speaker 4: Billy Joel was my idol and I just I remember
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: being so crushed, but it didn't make me want to
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  Speaker 4: behave any better, but it made.
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  Speaker 3: Me so sad.
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  Speaker 2: It still hurts to think of what I did, and
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: it was just the wrong way to go about it.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, I wasn't a great teenager.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Challenging here.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think that any parent would want to
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  Speaker 4: have a teenage boy like me.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, justin you're a Look.
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  Speaker 2: I don't want to use word good because how do
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: you frame good? But you had good intentions, you made
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: great choices, and sometimes you've made silly choices, and we
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: were still and still are learning.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: I think one of the things I love about this conversation, Mum,
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: is just the beautiful mother heart that you have. Obviously,
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: I'm the daughter in law. I've come into the family
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: twenty years later and have just been enveloped by that love.
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  Speaker 5: And as I've watched you over the years, you know,
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: shepherd your children and help them through the challenges that
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: life presents for each of us. I've just been overwhelmed
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: with your ability to just love. It's something that I
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: feel so grateful for in our lives. And we've watched
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: you over the years just to support us in whatever
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: venture we've decided to do, and that has meant that
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: lots of times we've lived miles and miles away from
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: you as we've you know, kind of traveled to the
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: East coast of Australia as a family, and each time
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  Speaker 5: you've found us, you've you've you know, supported us, You've
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: come and seen us, you've spent time, you love our
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: children like they're your own, and we're just so grateful
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  Speaker 5: for the part that you play in our lives.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: And it's the delight of my life to be around
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  Speaker 2: you and the family and to see both of you
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: so committed to raising your children in the best way
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: you can and making that your priority.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: It means everything to me. That's all that matters.
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  Speaker 5: So last keyword appetite.
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  Speaker 4: I know where are you going with this?
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Why why don't you tell everyone about my school lunches
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: when I was a teenager and I and I was
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: doing swimming squad voracious appetite?
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: What I can remember, apart from the fact that everywhere
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: we went, you know, we had to choose a buffet
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: because Justin cost the price of the rest of the
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: family if we just went on a cart. But I
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: just remember when we went up to Queensland and I
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: think it was Sanctuary Cove. We had a beautiful barbecue
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: buffet lunch there and Justin had they were minute steaks,
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: but he had fourteen of them, to the point to
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: the point that the chef on the barbecue actually said
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: last one, mate, He actually stopped you.
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: He said last one, last one, say nice.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: And I was upset. It was a buffet. I was like,
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: I should be allowed to eat many of these as
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: I want, and he stopped me after fourteen steaks.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Remember the buffet breakfast that we would have, remember on
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: dunk Isle and then we went on a Cadmaran and
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: you had eaten so much they did.
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I just provided burly for the fish all days.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Breakfast did not stay.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: There was another one at airs Rock where you guys
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: left me at breakfast, and I think I stayed for
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: about another hour and a half and just kept on eating.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: Now exactly, there's no point staying with you at a buffet,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: keep on going.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: But my school lunch. Do you remember how many bread
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: rolls that I would eat at lunch. I used to
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: take twelve bread rolls to school for lunch every day then.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: And do you remember I would come home and I
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: would eat a lettuce.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yep, because I told you that my mum said that
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: she My mum had bad acne growing up, and obviously
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: many years ago, she would have been ninety two now,
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: and she was told to eat a lettuce a day
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: and it cleared it up. So I think that may
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: have been something behind it. When you're a teenager, you'd
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: eat a lettuce a day.
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: I don't remember that. I just remember watching the body
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: building video one time and this guy would eat a
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: chicken and a lettuce, and I was so scrawny, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: so I would eat an entire lesson, and of course
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: for breakfast, a minimum of fourteen week picks.
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: Well, I remember on our first date, Mum, he took
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: me to charcoal Chicken and we brought an entire charcoal Charlie.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Is it no?
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: No, we were at Terrygoll. We were hanging out Terry Goll,
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: because that was a fact.
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: Well, I had the drumstick. I had a drumstick. He
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: demolished it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: I know, And look at him, Look at him? What's
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: your secret? Justin?
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: I think I just move a lot ion. I reckon.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: If ADHD had been a thing in the nineteen eighties,
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: I probably would have had that diagnosis. What do you reckon?
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: You're constantly moving, your mind is very active. But you've
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: diagnosed me with.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: That as well.
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: I think it runs in the family. Hey, We're going
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: to come back in just a six and we're going
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: to ask you a couple of a couple of slightly
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: more deep and meaningful questions about motherhood because it's Mother's
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: Day on Sunday and we want to celebrate you and
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: get your take on what it is to be a
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: great mom.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Famili's podcast.
• 11:52
  Speaker 6: Are Screens Creating Tension at Home? Tweens, Teens and Screens
• 11:56
  Speaker 6: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen solutions.
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: Bye today at happyfamilies dot com, dot au slash shop.
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: It's the Happy Famili's podcast, the podcast for the time
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now. And as a
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: celebration for Mother's Day coming up this weekend, we decided
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: to interview your mum today.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: Hey Mum, Hey, so Kyle's got a couple of questions
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: for you that I think are really important as we
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: get into the heart of what being a mum is
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: all about.
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: Mom, can you tell me what is one of your
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: favorite memories of Justin growing up?
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I think I love the way he was with my mum.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: They had a really special connection, and to me, that
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: was beautiful.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: Mom just loved Justin.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: She looked after him while I went to UNI, when
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I was doing my first degree, when I.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Had Justin, and she just adored him and he adored her.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: Just to see that connection whenever they got together, it
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: was just beautiful.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: She was very protective of him.
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: Number one grandchild and number one nana.
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: What did Justin do in his childhood that you can
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: see was a precursor for who he is now?
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, what are you saying? Top? Top? And no?
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: But really, what are you saying?
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: You're a box? You're chatter.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I remember you sitting down going through What Color is
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: My Parachute?
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: The book to see what carege have?
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: And it said to call people and ask and what
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: they said your strengths were or what they saw as
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: your natural abilities. And everybody that you rang or spoke
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: to said communication. You are an absolute communicator, and that's
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: when you went into radio.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: And I was so offended by that though. I was like,
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: anyone can talk. How could that be a strength? Anyone
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: can talk? Hey, I've got a question for you. What
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: were your first impressions of Kylie?
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: My first impression of Kylie was marry her. I just knew.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I just knew when I saw Kylie that she there
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: was just it was a beautiful match. I just knew
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: that she was good for you, and I just got
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I had that feeling of comfort and knowing that, Yeah,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: it was a no brainer.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: When you came in at what eleven, twelve, one o'clock
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: in the morning, you think it was at one thirty, Yeah.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: And told me that I told your dad and I
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: that you'd proposed to her. It was almost like, yeah, okay,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: it wasn't a surprise.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: We just knew it. It was.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It was wonderful and she's been an absolute delight, and
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: you know, we've got on really well ever since you've
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: been with her.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: Collin, what was your first impression of Mum's first impression
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: you did you think that Mum?
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: I thought she hated me? Really, Yes, we sat down
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: at the dinner table and she actually had the conversation
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: with you about the my color what's the colors? And
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: I was sitting there going, this is a really intense conversation.
• 14:57
  Speaker 5: Does she want me to get involved in this common
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: because mum.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Was putting pressure on me to get on with my
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: career and get on with my life at the table
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: with you on our first meeting, and it was just
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: this really thought no, And I was like, this.
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: Is a really personal conversation. I felt really like out
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: of place, and your mum just kind of talked as
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: though I was just part of part of the conversation,
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: but it was it was really like confronting for me.
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: It's pretty intense.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, to have filters and boundaries, I just sort
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: of include everybody and everything.
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: Well, I know that when we talked about it later,
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: you just said that it just felt like a natural
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: conversation to have with me at the table, but it
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: was so foreign to me. It just yeah, So, what
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: is one thing that you miss about being a mum?
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: You know, in the trenches with all of those little ones,
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: Do you miss anything?
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if Justin shared that I had
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Justin and then Twin girls, and then we had another boy,
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: and then we had twin girls again, so we've got boy,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: twin girls, boy, twin girls with gaps in between three,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: four and five year gaps. But it was just full
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: on because I had Justin fourteen and twin babies and
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: running him to swim squad and music lessons and the
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: children doing everything. Look, it was I think special to
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: have the children around and you know, seeing them all
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: asleep in bed at night. I mean that's always a
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: joy for a parent. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: I just enjoy every phase of motherhood.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: I'm loving my life right now and enjoying you know,
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: meeting and having dinner with you guys together. Justin's flying
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: in and flying out somewhere and you know, catching up,
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: and I just enjoy the conversations now as adults, being
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: one on one with my children, with our children.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: That gives every parent of little children, who is every
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: parent whos struggle right now, a little bit of hope
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: that it will get better, because it does. It takes
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: twenty years, but it does get better.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was just a blur. It was just a blur.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: I think we're still in the blur a bit.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we're living in the blur at the moment.
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: So, Muma, what do you know now that you wish
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: you knew back then?
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: To listen, to listen and be emotionally available for my
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: children rather than my will, my will.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: We've got to do this now. This is better for you,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I know more.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I think being there to listen, particularly to validate their feelings,
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: would probably be the big learning thing for me to
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: actually go this is somebody trying to express themselves, and
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: sometimes that expression might be in a way that someone's
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: not wasn't comfortable with, you know, but it was just
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: another form of saying hear me, hear me, hear me.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: And I think probably one of the other big learnings
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: is to try and nurture the natural abilities that they
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: want to follow, try and help them on the work
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: with them on the path. Is they show a disposition
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: towards wanting to do something. Having had twins and wanting
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: to dovetail time, they would both do ballet, they both
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: do dancing, they both do music.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: The first set of twins I did that.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: The second set I allowed them to diversify and watch
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: what they love to do, and obviously it was double
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: the load to get them to different things. But to
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: to just let them follow their path and to validate
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: and let them know that, you know, I believed in them,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: that they were Okay.
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: That ties in with some other really good advice, and
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: that is that you get better at parenting the more
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: kids you have. Definitely, So everyone who's listened to the podcast,
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: go and have six, because you'll get really good at
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: it by the time having the last one.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: I think there has very reflection though, you know, really
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: stepping back and being observant and looking at, okay, what
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: what works.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: And what doesn't.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: And you know, I suppose obviously being the person the
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: observer in the supermarket when you're watching a child screaming
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: and wanting attention and the parents just trying to shut
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: them down so obvious reasons, trying to understand this child's
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: actually wanting to say something and be heard, not shut down.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a great counsel.
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: So my last question for you today, mummy, is just
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: what was one of the hardest lessons you had to
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: learn as.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: A mom That each of our children have their own
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: path and they have the right to choose that.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: Wow, that it's not up to me.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: Well, I've got two questions for you, mom, mm. And
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: this is loaded, and obviously it's a public conversation, but
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: do I make you prout?
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Absolutely?
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I'm delighted with how you look at you.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: You've taken life seriously, and you've taken what you do seriously,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: and you want to make a difference. And that to
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: me is the greatest gift that you can give an
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: eye as a mother to have you as a as
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: my son, to know that you are making a very
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: conscious and always have a conscious effort with your family,
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: which is the most important thing with you and kylely
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: working on your family to be the best that you
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: can be as parents. And then to know that the
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: abilities and gifts and knowledge and incredible abilities that you
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: have that you can take that out and make a
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: difference to so many other people and to their children.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: What a legacy. So I'm very proud of you, justin
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: It's funny.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: I'm in my mid to late forties now and I
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: still care about whether or not I make my parents
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: proud or not. And I'm grateful for you to sharing that.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I've got one last question. It's a pretty tough one moment.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: Oh no, I've fed in tears twice already. Give me
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: another one.
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: This is the last question, but I think that it's
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: really important that I ask it, and it's very hard
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: to ask it, and I know it will be hard
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: to answer it. Around about seven or eight years ago,
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: my grandma, your mum, left us. She passed away, and
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: you know you've already said that I had a very
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: very close connection with her. I dedicated my first book
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: to her, and I loved my Nan. What did you
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: learn about parenting from Nan? From your mom?
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Unconditional love that no matter what we did, Mum was
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: our fiercest advocate.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: When you know that your parents got your back.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Like they have got you no matter what, and no
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: matter what you decide, there is a strong sense of
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: security to go out into the world and do what
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: you want.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: And my mom and dad gave me that great belief
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: in me.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: And always whatever I want to do, they backed me
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: on it.
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: Hey, Mom, it's been awesome talking to you.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: Thanks, I'll go on dry the tears and yeah, thanks
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: thanks for letting me share a few things.
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, go and get busy and take all those calls
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: that probably came through while we were talking to you.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Yep, happy mother, say mum, thank you, thank you. Happy
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: mother this day to you too kindly.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: Thanks, We really hope you've enjoyed the podcast and enjoyed
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: listening to us chat with my awesome mum. If you
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: do enjoy the podcast, your ratings and reviews that Apple
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: podcasts make all the difference for other people finding out
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: about it. Please leave those five star ratings and reviews
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: for us so that we can help make other people's
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: families happier. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: Ruland from Bridge Media, and Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: If you'd like Mauren felt about making your family happier,
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: you can get all the data you need, all the
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: info you need at happy families dot com dot aun