Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Wholehearted Summer: Shark Week! Strategies to Stay Calm and Keep Your Cool with Janay Lanier and Sarah Cronin

Transcript

Wholehearted Summer: Shark Week! Strategies to Stay Calm and Keep Your Cool with Janay Lanier and Sarah Cronin · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hey friend, how are you doing?
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Truly.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I do realize that summer is supposed to feel fun and lighthearted, but it can also really have its stressors.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: And because you might be lacking some routine and it's super hot and humid, at least in my neck of the wits, you might be feeling the crush of constant interaction.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: But friend, as I promised, you can come here to be infused with some joy, lightheartedness, of course, get a few survival tips and inspiration as you connect with the one who is there to give you all the strength you need during the summer and even during Shark Week.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: And just to be clear, I'm not talking about our Fend Friends this time or the Discovery Channel Marathon Special.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Today we get to explore strategies for staying calm and keeping your cool during that monthly roller coaster ride known as PMS.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: This conversation is here to help you navigate those turbulent waters of hormonal changes.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And we're going to discuss effective ways to be more self-aware and self-controlled while maintaining your cool during shark week and ensuring a smoother and more enjoyable journey.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sarah and Janae is going to do a quick swim into topics such as soul care practices, mindfulness techniques, and strategies for better communication while providing you with the tools you need to embrace your inner calm during this time.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, awareness is a crucial component in making better choices, particularly when you are stressed.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you are aware of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, you can begin to recognize patterns and triggers that may lead to stress and therefore negative reactions.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: So with this awareness, you can then interpret those patterns and make clearer, intentional, and calmer choices.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're tired of feeling caught off guard by the waves of emotions, cravings, and physical discomfort, you have come to the right place.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let's navigate Shark Week with grace, resilience, and a sense of humor.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I bet that together that we can enjoy smoother sailing even amidst turbulent waters.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, hey.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: We are here together, and we are so excited for this week's episode.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we are calling it Shark Week, which um I know is a very interesting name.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: We we have we have reasoning behind it, and we wanted to start off by telling you guys what Shark Week is, why we named it that, what it's all about.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so this episode is is really about where us mamas go to in stress.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: And um so if you've ever watched the Discovery channel, there's um week out of the year that it's all about sharks.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: And and so um the interesting thing is, Sarah, and I know Sarah was on the same page with me when we first heard about shark week from somebody.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: I can't even track back exactly where we first heard this, but we both thought sharks are mean.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so we assumed that kind of that that was why it was called Shark Week, this one um week out of the month that every female goes through.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: We all were on the same page with that, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I know, I know I can be a little mean during oh for sure.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Irritable, yeah.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, so irritable and sometimes angry, actually, a lot of times angry.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so we assume that that was probably the main reason we people refer to this week as shark week, but actually um we learned if you Google, you'll learn that it's it's mainly because there's a lot of blood during that, you know.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: If you I honestly, I'm not really into sharks, but apparently if you watch uh if you watch the Discovery channel channel during that week, you're gonna see a lot of that.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, and after we learned that, we were like, well, that makes a lot more a lot more sense than when we were all of it together, all of it.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly, yeah, I I kind of like where we were going with it too, but yeah, that is why we are calling it Shark Week because um, yeah, they they are attacking, they can be mean, they can be irritable, aggressive, and um, and so yeah, I know everybody listening is like relatable, absolutely.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so that is where this week's episode title comes from.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: So to take that to the next step, um, we've all heard the term PMS.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to go a little bit deeper to say what really is that?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: What are the symptoms that women experience?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and ultimately we're looking at, you know, how does this flow over into um onto our family, into our relationships, and then specifically through the lens of summer.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, first to back up and just define what is PMS, it stands for pre-menstrual syndrome.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's encapsulating the different symptoms that women can experience in the week or weeks before their period, um, we know that these symptoms can be a wide range.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: They can be physical, they can be mental or emotional.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And some of these symptoms carry over into the actual period.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so you know your body um best yourself.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you want to listen to this episode through the lens of like, yeah, my shark week is the week before my period actually starts, um, if you see the majority of symptoms there, or if it's um during the actual period itself and you're like, no, that's when I'm irritable and all of that, just listen through, you know, whatever applies to you the most, or maybe it's both, maybe it's two out of the four weeks in the month.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but some of those common symptoms, so listen up and just think through like, oh yeah, that that might come out in me um during this time of shark week.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's mood swings that can go all the way from angry outbursts to spells of crying, um, feeling upset and anxious, being irritable.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know for me, irritable irritability is probably the the highest one where just anything can set me off.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of embarrassing, you know, when when I can look back in clarity and see it, I'm like, ooh, yeah.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't even do anything and I snapped.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: I I can relate to um the embarrassment of it or like the shame that I feel afterwards.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh Janae, like that was not, but it just so real in the moment.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some more symptoms could be just feeling tired, having trouble sleeping, um, being bloated.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's a big one for me as well, um, and having stomach pain, um, getting headaches.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's in your skin.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe your skin looks a little spotty or your hair is a little greasy.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, or it could be more on the emotional side where you with want to withdraw socially, um, or maybe mentally you feel very confused or have trouble concentrating.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe it's within intimacy and you have changes in your desire sexually.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um so all of that is, you know, those are a few of the symptoms that you could see.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so what we want to do is to notice our own pattern, right?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um notice those times month after month.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Make a note in your phone, um, use one of the apps that can really help tracking symptoms.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been doing that this past month and just paying more attention to my cycle and what happens um in the days before before it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's the first step into the direction of growth for everyone, right?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's to just notice what's your own pattern.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, take record of those symptoms.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna be talking about today how that shark week, um, when we're already in experiencing these symptoms, well, then if you add on any like normal life stress, how much more that can be exacerbated, right?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're talking about the summer, maybe it's it's the stress of all the different camps and clubs you're getting your kids to, or maybe it's the stress of you're trying to take all the kids to the pool by yourself, or whatever it may look like in the summer, or maybe it's just the lack of alone time that you have.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: When we combine those symptoms in the stress of shark week onto normal everyday stress, um, it's essential that we take an intentional look at this and um find actual, you know, practical ways of how to manage the stress during this time.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Gosh, Sarah, that's so good.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Just listening to you talk about the symptoms and everything.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just thinking, man, we really go through it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: And right.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: We women are really women are tough, right?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's not like this is something quarterly that we're given.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like every month.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: And so we just, I just think that we should give ourselves a pat on the back for what we do and push through.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: The fact is, like, we do go through it.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: And um, what can help is to be aware, is to just be more aware because we know it's gonna come and we know that our personalities, uh, where we go to in stress is it's gonna show.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so being more aware can really be life-changing in this.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: So if we have to go through it, why not become a little bit more um conscientious of what is gonna come out in us and so that we can just try and just help ourselves and help those around us that do life with us during that week.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: And then yeah.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: Shout out to the husbands out there.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: I know that our listeners are probably um, you know, maybe brand new to the Enneagram or maybe pretty well versed, but I think everybody can agree that like step one when you're learning the Enneagram is of course like finding out your core type and kicking it up a notch is really learning where you go to in stress.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like a lot of times that's kind of like a step two for somebody.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: And that's really what we're talking about here today.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so um, I love this because every number goes to a certain number in stress.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think it's important to learn all of the numbers in the Enneagram for the simple fact of we do life with all of these numbers.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: You probably, whether you know it or not, have uh somebody in your life that reflects every single one of these numbers.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so I believe that it's it's great to know attributes of all these, but especially the number that you go to in stress.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: So it's so for me as a seven, um, when I learned that I go to a one in stress, I really wanted to learn everything about ones.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that has just helped me tremendously.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: So as we get started here, we are going to talk about each number and nines.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: We we told you last week that we were gonna, we were gonna start with you guys this time.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so we are gonna go through each number and what what they really look like in stress and um and what number they go to specifically.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so I as you listen, I really, if you haven't already done it, done this, I really encourage you to really just learn everything there is to know about that number that you specifically go to.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, can I pop in there too, Janae?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, jot notes on your own number, just some bullet points of um characteristics, because right now you might be in a really clear mind and it might not be shark week and you might not be stressed.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but take some notes on that, and then the next time the shark week comes around, you know, pull out that list and and be aware um of when you might be displaying that.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then also when you're listening to each number, think about if you do know a person that is that number, right?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we are able to learn about their stress and see them acting in stress, what empathy that can bring us of, oh, I can see that Janae is in stress right now.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not having a bad day, but maybe she is, right?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So it just increases the empathy that we can have for one another as well.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So it can steer us out of the rut and then also bring just a beautiful um place of grace for other people as well.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: So let's hit it.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I love that.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: So nines go to a six, right?
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_02: Whenever they are stressed.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so when stressed, the nines may become more passive or avoidant, seeking to maintain peace and harmony because you know, that is one of their main goals.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: They just, it's essential to them to maintain peace and harmony.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so they can become passive and avoidant during this time to get that and to gain that.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: They may also become more indecisive or dissociated from their own needs or desires.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: And as we know for nines, this can this can be something that, you know, they struggle with in general, I feel like, but um, during this, this week or the week before, um, they can probably see that come out even more so, uh, leading to a sense of disconnection um or apathy.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: Eventually, like I said, they will go that to that low side of a six.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: So that's gonna specifically for them look like becoming testy, anxious, and worried.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so uh that can also look like mild-mannered nines hide and in busy work to distract themselves and may even become forceful with their opinions and uh inadvertently push away others because of this.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, which I imagine would be um kind of surprising to the people that live closest to them, you know, in close relationship with them, because most of the time the nine goes along to get along.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, most of the time they're not pushing their own opinions.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: They're they're just merging.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, if you imagine then all of a sudden they're becoming forceful with their opinions and pushing others away.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whoa, like that's got to be surprising to your people.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's why this uh awareness can really help.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just good.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: So moving on to the ones, um, we know that ones are already uh critical of themselves.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And when they're stressed, that can be exacerbated.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: They can become even more so and overly critical of both themselves and others.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And they might just, you know, stretch a little bit more to become more rigid in their beliefs and their routines, um, and feel, you know, an over sense of anxiety or guilt about, you know, things that they see that they've missed or failed upon.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: First, we're looking at that original number and we're saying, what is already the low side of that type, right?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So for ones, going from critical to overly critical.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then their stress arrow goes to the low side of the four.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so they can also become indignant that their expectations are not achieved by themselves and by others, and they may even become more melancholy and depressed and withdraw from others.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what the one might look like in stress.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so for twos, um our fellow twos may become more dependent on others for validation and for that approval when they're stressed.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: They may also become resentful or overlooked when their efforts to help others are not reciprocated.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's really going to be a trigger for them.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's going to be one of those things where it's like, you know, I did all this.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how in the world did you not see my needs?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: And that can that can lead to to feelings of irritability and and um just just feelings of feeling overlooked.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: And that can also lead them to just feeling disappointed.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: And and that's understandable and to think about.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's something that a two might see in themselves.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: And and eventually their stress line for twos is going to be um an eight that could look like for them, blaming others for problems while seeing their intentions as only good.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, and so that's something that it will look like for a two to go to the to the line of an eight.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: And Sarah, I know you're a two.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: You can probably add yeah, yeah.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: I needed you to read this, Janae, because um, I mean, I resonate with every single piece of this.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, again, that irritability that comes, you know, really just compounds upon like that feeling of almost like martyrdom, you know, like I've done all of this work for you, and you didn't see me, or you didn't reciprocate it, or you didn't acknowledge it.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And even speaking that out loud, it's like before awareness, I would never would say that, right?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: I I would think, no, I'm I'm I'm doing it from a good place.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing it from a good place.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: But when we stop to say, what's really going on here and here, um, yeah, I get really, I get really frustrated when you're not noticing how I'm helping you.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I can see that definitely um, I keep saying exacerbated, it's my favorite word today, but that's definitely um, you know, amplified during this time of stress, um, especially that last, um, what you mentioned last of seeing their own intentions as good.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really hold to that when my pride is covering up that um clarity of sight.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel it.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: So moving on to threes.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um when stressed, threes become even more fixated on achieving those goals to the point of um neglecting their own needs or the needs of others.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, what's the accomplishment?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: What's the thing I need to do next?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna become fixated on that, even if um it's taking time away from my family, um, ignoring the things that really are important to me.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they also struggle with feelings of self-doubt and they're insecure about their ability to maintain that image that they are working so hard to hold, that image of success.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, now they're usually not, you know, vulnerable and open with those feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, but internally that might be rising up um a lot more.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so then eventually they'll travel to the low side of the nine um and become disengaged or apathetic, just kind of throwing their hands in the air.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and they'll neglect themselves and you know, they're not going to address that self-doubt and insecurity.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they'll often just neglect themselves and possibly numb out by, you know, watching a lot of TV, um, shopping, eating, whatever that indulging um behavior might look like to just mentally escape it instead of um instead of leaning in.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: So for our fours, now if you talk to a four, they, you know, I've spoken to many fours, and they'll tell you that they definitely um they know what isolation is and they they they know exactly what it looks like to kind of go into their bedroom and just shut out for a while.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: And even when they're not stressed, I think that they need this time to really um go into a time of, let me, let me see how I feel right now.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: They need to um decipher their feelings and really give time to what they're feeling and and their emotions.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially whenever fours are healthy, they can kind of pull themselves back out of that area after, you know, um spending some time in that.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: But when a four is stressed, they may find um themselves becoming even more withdrawn or isolated and withdrawing into their own feelings and emotions.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I've heard many fours tell me how hard it is to pull out of this, out of this um moment and oftentimes can need assistance with this.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: They can become more self-absorbed or or melancholy when they're um in these moments of stress or in these times of stress and feeling a sense of loss or nostalgia for what they perceive as missing from their lives.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: And oftentimes when pushed to the max for fours, suddenly they become overinvolved and and can possibly cling to others.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: They can try to manipulate others into loving them because they operate under the mechanism that getting attention from others will replace um the emptiness that they might feel during those moments.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: We know that fours go to a two.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's their line of stress.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so, Sarah, do you want to talk about really quick what that could look like for a four to go to a two in stress?
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: Pass it to yourself.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it can go to the um being instead of being, you know, focused internally, um, it can be in that focused outward, but not in a positive way, right?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: So focused outward from more of the prideful sense and um looking to really get their own needs met in that way.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: So um, you know, it can be it can be the pridefulness, it can be manipulation, it's more of the outward focus, but not for the not from a pure space.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, yeah.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: So moving on to fives.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when fives are stressed, they might again amplify that desire to be um withdrawn and isolated, um, retreating into their own thoughts and ideas, you know, going into that uh private, quiet space in their home, um, you know, where they just want to be by themselves and not engage or, you know, put forth any emotional energy.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they might become more anxious or even more paranoid about the potential threats of the world upon them or you know, intrusions on their privacy.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and eventually, if they do get to the stress point where they hit that catastrophic depletion that they're fearing, um, they might act like an unhealthy seven.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, in that way, they'll become hyperactive or scattered, um, unable to focus.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and ultimately, all of this creates even greater frustration with themselves because they take great pride in their focus plans.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so when they go to this place of scatter, um that's you know, that inhibits their um normal space of focus.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so um I think that's to me, that's a very clear distinction, four or fives that you can see um, you know, going from this place of focus plan to this scattered, distracted.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's a really important signpost or marker to say, okay, wait, I'm operating in stress here.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: How how do we get back?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: um get back in alignment.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk about the steps to get back in alignment a little bit later.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: So for for sexes, when stressed, they um they may become more anxious or fearful, seeking out reassurance or support from others.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: They may also become more paranoid or skeptical of others' intentions, leading to feelings of distrust or uncertainty.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: And when their anxiety becomes too overwhelming, they can try to avoid being anxious or uh and this could look like being too busy or reluctant to try anything outside of their comfort zone.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: And this constant motion and um standoff standoffishness is that a standoffishness.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: It can give uh mixed messages to those that are really in their close circle.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so we know that um the the line that a six goes to is a uh the the the low side or unhealthy side of a three.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so this can look like um possibly arrogantly believing that um they alone can see all possible scenarios and and they can continue to um make themselves busy to avoid feelings of anxiousness and and kind of never slowing down.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: And they can refuse to try uh new things if failure is a possibility.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's just like not even on the table.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: If there's a possi and we know that you know the truth is that there's the possibility for failure is always there.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so this can be just such a such a time for sixes that they're that they they're just almost numb and stuck to being able to try anything new at all.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: And um they can use charm and like ability support and loyalties with others to make sure that nobody is going to to leave or harm or or abandon them.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I think this is this is kind of even um a tough episode to talk about in a way because I want to bring I want to bring the positivity into it.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about the strengths and um you know last last episode we did just kind of do a high level overview of each type and you know we don't want this to be a Debbie Downer kind of episode or anything but man the power of being able to recognize when you're operating in stress can bring transformation to your to your family to your relationships and even to yourself because when when I'm able to say like okay I'm operating in stress I'm stressed right now about something that awareness allows me to say why?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Where is it coming from?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do about it?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And even more so say Lord I need you I need you right now to come to come help me out.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we don't have the awareness seeing these like knowing that I'm irritable and knowing these things can just put me in a spiral that makes you go further down and down and down.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway just wanted to pop in and say that because it can feel very like as we're going through you know um some of the negative components of each of these numbers but uh there is a purpose to be able to uh see it and then and then realign it into good so that's so good so I'm so glad that you said that and especially we're both optimistic people and so it is hard.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: This episode I think harder for both of us and I'll tell you my favorite song is the Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles and so I'll tell you it is so true that when we learn these things and we invite the Lord to come and transform and transform those areas the the sun will come again shark week will end and so amen I'm glad that you popped in and said that yeah yeah and on that note moving into the sevens the sevens probably don't want to hear this especially um but the sevens in stress can become you know more impulsive or distractible when they're stressed you know seeking out those new experiences or distractions to avoid having to face those underlying feelings of anxiety or discomfort or whatever that pain might be they can become more scattered, disorganized, which eventually leads to overwhelm and burnout.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: The sevens take on the low side of the one and so they can become hypercritical they can become pessimistic, even perfectionistic, which sometimes you know that's so contradictory at times to think of one qualities being um displayed by the seven because they can feel so different.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of ones and sevens struggle to even get along because their you know their normal way of operating is so different.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's so intriguing to me that they are connected.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: So in that stress that seven might um you know give more into the black and white thinking and into blaming others um maybe blaming others for preventing some fun um I'm laughing because my husband is a seven and I can just think of that I mean he doesn't have a shark wig but he you know does get stressed and I can think of those exact scenarios where like I've had to say well I have said no to um you know a fun thing on the calendar like this is not best for our family.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: We just can't do this and he was not happy that I put that limitation upon him.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: So um anyway it can look like blaming others and um that can cause tension and frustration in relationships.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: How about you Janae as a seven as a seven I like when when I think of um myself with stress like definitely the word critical comes to my mind.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like I become so critical of everybody and everything.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: And like you had just said earlier when we're not aware it just feels like it's that's just the way it is.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it's interesting because you know you're doing it but you also don't know it's it's necessarily anything that you can help or um and then when when you bring light into it and I realize that I I do go to a one in stress and and it's just like wow like this is something that I need the Lord to come and help me.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_02: It brought language to my prayer life.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yes that's so good.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_02: It did it really did.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah and so now whenever I find my because that's not my natural my natural thing is to necessarily be critical and so whenever I see it coming on I'm able to say Lord I need you in this moment.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: This is yeah and um yeah so I always like to say too you know especially when we're comfortable around people we can show more of that pessimistic side but to everybody else we're just so joyous and and happy and optimistic and so I've heard us call the um the pessimistic optimist and so it's like it makes sense that we can be um so uh you know looking on the bright side but on the on the same note nothing's going right and um so it's just interesting that contrast there.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah that criticalness is is really real.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah yeah good to know about all right so um we have our eights when stressed we might see the eights be uh become more controlling or confrontational seeking to assert the dominance or power that they would like to have over others and and they may become more defensive or suspicious of others' motives um leading to feelings of anger or aggression.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_02: And when they're pushed to the edge we might see that they engage in the low side of a five and so this can look like uh becoming uh secretive or fearful that others may may betray them.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: This can be very hard if you've given any reason um to an eight uh for them to believe that uh you will you have betrayed them it's hard for them to think that you won't again and especially during these these times of stress.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so um some other things that uh eights going to a five can look like is um detaching from emotions and and this can be to gain more knowledge to be on the offense and and using their intellect sometimes to um to tell others uh kind of what to do or how it should be and then just to distrusting people um and becoming more cynical and harsh and and so yeah to that is anything you want to add to that Sarah for the eights?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think that's that's awesome you crushed it.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: And man, as we conclude each of the types again, the awareness is important, but also all right what's next?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: We've seen it that's step one then what do we do with it?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so um we want to kind of move into a time of discussing some strategies to be able to manage Shark Week and any additional stress that might um double upon Shark Week or even just might come during these summer months as kids are home and you know schedules are awry.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so we want to look at what are some ways we can practice self-care?
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: What are ways that we can be intentional about replenishing our soul really taking care of our soul like getting enough sleep like staying active being aware of the stressors is part of the beautiful cycle of replenishment.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so now what?
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: What do we do with it?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna share a few tips and tricks of how to manage stress um specifically during the summer and one of those is just finding ways to cool down.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean that seems so simple but we all know that like when we're hot and sweaty like physically hot and sweaty in the sunshine it only makes all this worse right and so um now the sun feels golden right we we love the sun but also when we're hot and sweaty it can be even worse.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: So like even little ways to cool down um maybe you're out and about at those summer activities and you just have one of those spray bottle fans those little misters you know that can um you know help you physically cool off maybe when your kids are in the middle of you know their activities you can take a moment um you know you're not gonna get into any deep deep emotional work in the middle of that but what are simple ways that um when you're sitting and watching a swim lesson take place you can be praying you can be praying over your child that's swimming and you know be praying for the things that you are um hoping for their life and it doesn't even have to be that big it can also be like Lord I can breathe for a second because we're having a swim lesson but I see how I've been acting this morning.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: I can see you know some of those things that we just listed and God I know your your mercies are new and I just pray that you would come and replenish me.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that can just be quick prayers um in the midst of these activities.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't have that second to yourself and maybe it's just driving from activity to activity.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: There can be chaos in the back and still peace in your heart at the same time, right?
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so even though it feels impossible when you're on a drive use that time where you're not being pulled upon by a child to to say a quick prayer of Lord reset reset me reset my mind um and let's let's move forward from here.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: So Janae what else can we do?
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah so it's it really is essential to get rest during this time during Shark Week it's it just rest is essential and rest is essential even when it's not that time but especially what our bodies are going through um during that specific specific time of the month.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_02: And and I know that that that some threes are about to listen to this and be like what?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: But literally aim to get six to seven hours of sleep per night and even take naps if possible.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: I know that there's moms listening to this right now that it's just like naps just feel so it's just so dreamy but it just it's like we just don't think that there's time but there we can we really can schedule out times to if it's not a full on nap, like just a little bit of rest, just saying hey mom's checking out for a minute I need to stop my body I need to stop my thoughts for a minute and I'm going to allow my time my body time to rest and it's amazing what can come about just giving our bodies a little bit of time to how we can walk back into the children and the chaos and the we walk with a different mindset and we're we're taken care of more so we can pour out.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah that's good.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah and gentle exercise too can really alleviate actually some of the the PMS symptoms such as mood swings and bloating and I really can attest that for me like walking in the sunshine has really been able to um to help so good.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah with cramping and and and it's it's kind of like it feels like one of the last things that you really feel like doing but if you can push yourself and just put the tennis shoes on and get outside just for a quick walk um even if the children children are outside you know playing in the pool or chalking or um doing their little activities if you can get a little walk around the house you might find that it does alleviate some of some of those symptoms physical and emotional um and and so a yoga I would I will add to is another thing if um if you're not much of a walker but just enjoy um especially if you just have some poses in the back of your mind that you can just do really quick, I think that you might would find that really helpful.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah and I love the two things you just mentioned rest and exercise how they can feel contradictory at times when should I be resting right now or should I be getting up and walking and moving and and just to be aware that you know a lot of the moving your body exercises is bringing rest to your soul.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's really knowing what is going to serve your body best.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: Do you need physical rest like you said to actually maybe sit down when the kid, you know, have you been moving like crazy all morning long and you just need to sit right or is it like man I feel good I can get up and I can interact with them and that movement is also something that can bring benefit right so it is both and it is knowing knowing what's going to serve your body um the best and another thing in serving your body is by eating healthy foods.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: That a healthy diet can really help reduce PMS symptoms, you know, as I've been learning recently everything starts with your gut and and goes back to your gut.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so in this time it's really focusing on whole foods, fruits and vegetables and lean protein, avoiding the caffeine and sugar and processed foods, which really is a struggle in the summer to be honest.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: The caffeine and the sugar in the process it's so easy when you're going from here to there to just grab fast food or you know have another cup of coffee or energy drink to get you through but really knowing that the healthy foods are going to serve your body the best and that's going to help all of these stressor symptoms as well.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then you know under the topic of self-care just take some time to do things that you enjoy to do.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: What is that for you?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: Is that reading a book?
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: Is that taking a bath maybe it's reading a book while you take a bath um going to get a massage or doing a hobby and some of those things can seem um really out of reach or really hard to do but you know taking a bath and reading a book can be after bedtime.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: You might have to get up early to do some of the things that you enjoy um you might have to schedule childcare to go get that massage.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: But your kids will benefit the kids will benefit from it when you are whole and rested and poured into and even doing the hobby it is such a benefit for your kids to see you doing something you enjoy and for them to know that it isn't all about them.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right that that mom has things that she loves um doing and and they can see you be fulfilled by it and that encourages them to go find the things that they're fulfilled by as well.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_02: I love that I love that I feel like our parents it was a little bit harder because self-care for them wasn't really a thing and you just constantly did for others.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I just love that we are the conversations are happening where we're like no moms deserve they need not only did they deserve but they need that that time even if it's a short time for them to replenish and care for their needs and to just said that and and I I want to also add ladies please um please speak up and don't be afraid to reach out um to friends, family, a coach, a therapist um and really get get the support that what whatever support you need during that time you deserve it.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_02: And um it can be so helpful to just talk about um what you're going through um how you're feeling and just it's amazing the power of getting something out of your mind and and speaking it's what's happening to me and having someone just really listening, guiding uh and just providing you know when you when you think about a therapist they're providing um tactics and um and just help that you you just can't get if you just keep it inside.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: So please please know that um you can feel safe to speak out and and get some help even if it's from just from another mama friend.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_02: So please do that.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I think about the power of mama friends in this because our husbands don't necessarily understand shark week but our mama friends do, right?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: So even be being able to um lean on your community text a girlfriend and say you know it's my shark week um you know feeling stressed or um the more that we do lean on each other the more that we know okay what what type does my bestie go to when she's in stress um the more we're able to support them you know in that time and so um we all get it we're all we're all in the shark week journey together and so why not lean upon each other and um and and when I am in health and feeling great I have the energy to love you more when you're in shark week and vice versa.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: So um I think that's huge.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: It takes a village right ultimately to conclude like we as we said before we need to remember that everyone's experience with PMS is different.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so that that's why it's essential to listen to your body to do what feels best for you.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I know if I don't check my spirit then when I see others operating in stress I can get really judgmental.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know I have the one wing that's kind of applied on and I can see myself um I don't know what someone else's lived shark week experience is like I only know my own.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: But if I'm not in shark week and I see that in someone else and I'm not in check and attune then that can come out for me in a really judgmental way.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's just important to remember everyone's experience is different.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then everyone's ideogram and childhood experiences and all the things are so different.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so grace, grace, grace for yourself and um for others during this time.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly and the most important um stress management strategy out of all the ones is being connected to the Lord, being in prayer having time of just quiet space before him meditation with him this is going to calm your mind.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is going to allow you to connect and reconnect and reconnect with the Lord.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this is going to help reduce the stress and anxiety because you're bringing it to him we know that he is the only one that brings transformation it is helpful for us to be aware of everything we talked about today but God brings the change it is his work to do.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: It is our job to put ourselves in an open posture to allow him to do it.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so we are going to end this um this episode with a prayer um over all of you during this time that we call Shark Week.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_00: So let's pray.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Father we love you so much and we are so thankful for um the way that you have crafted our beings um even though we can see a lot of you know stressful symptoms and um issues that may come during this time of our month, God, we know that you created it you designed this to be the pathway upon which we are able to you know have children and bring life into the world.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so Lord we trust your ultimate design we trust that you are sovereign over this and you know as we are more attentive to the way that stress impacts us the more that we are aware of these sharp week symptoms and we just use this space as an opportunity to invite you in and to watch you do the transformation right if we didn't have this week and we didn't have stressors um then God we wouldn't need to depend on you.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so in that way we see it as a gift from you we see it as grace from you.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: Help us to become more aware um of these symptoms both in ourselves and in those that we love so dearly around us.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: And God would you lead us and guide us back um into the the tender voice that you offer towards us into a safe place with you.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Help us to reconnect with you again and again this summer as we strive to love our kids well and to love ourselves well and God ultimately love you well.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so we bring you into this space and we pray over all those that are listening that you would be near to them today, whether it's through the sunshine on their face or the laughter in their kids, God may we all be reminded of your abundant love for us.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we give this all to you Lord today.
• 43:03
  unknown: Amen.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Amen yeah I love your prayers the Lord is so good.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we um on that note are excited that on a future episode we are going to be going deeper into soul care rhythms for each type.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: So if that little nugget at the end talking about connection with God in prayer if that piqued your interest definitely come back um because we are going to be going deeper in that space and I cannot wait.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah thank you for listening.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you guys we've loved it yes absolutely and we will see you guys next time.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: All right bye bye so remember friend when you are more aware you can better tune into your wisdom and intuition it will eventually help you make better choices that are aligned with your values and goals even during such a stressful week like Shark week.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: When you pay attention to your thoughts feelings and physical sensations you can identify what you need to do in a way that will support your overall well-being and a sense of home.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: And remember you don't have to be doing anything dramatic, right?
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: It can simply be mindfulness about your hunger levels and maybe even creating some systems to break down larger tasks into more manageable steps so you can prioritize what is important to focus on when you aren't feeling 100%.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're definitely going to be coming back with more soul care tips that will help you in times like this.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: But for now I thought you would just appreciate this fun, insightful and very relatable take on a week that we all experience unfortunately way too often.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: I would love for you to share your unique tips and strategies as well for managing stress during the summer months and for during Shark Week.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think we can all learn from each other.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: There might be something that your mother learned from her mother and or maybe just read in a good book too.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's always those things or even a great podcast.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think it will be really helpful to share those ideas as we continue this fun, lighthearted series this summer I sure appreciate you listening to this episode and even listening all the way to the end.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that if you aren't already subscribed to this podcast that you do so today, you can follow this it costs nothing and you'll just be notified as soon as the newest episode releases.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you would do me a favor and while you're looking at other wonderful episodes to listen to go ahead and share this one with your friends who will not only get a kick out of our take on Shark Week but who might really benefit from these strategies for staying calm and keeping there cool.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: So until next time continue to pursue God's perspective purpose and plans for your simply wholehearted life.