Latest / Becoming Irresistible / Season 2, Episode 7: What we can learn from Prodigies about Accelerated Success.

Transcript

Season 2, Episode 7: What we can learn from Prodigies about Accelerated Success. · Becoming Irresistible

• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Becoming Irresistible.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Jay, a high achievement lifestyle strategist and irresistibility expert.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Lately I've been watching this young man on social media.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: His name is Max Alexander.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder if you have also noticed him or seen him.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: The thing is, most people might call him a child prodigy.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: He's in the fashion world, and he's already been to Fashion Week, had his own runaway show, and he's, I believe, eight years old.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing to watch.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: But the more I've watched him, the less interested I've become in his talent per se, and the more interested I have become in the speed at which he's accelerated.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: How does someone accomplish in eight years what most people can't accomplish in 30?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us believe that prodigies are showing us some supernatural talent.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that's really what it is.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think what they're showing us is acceleration in real time.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what I want to talk about today.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because whether you're eight or 18, 38, or even 68, understanding this concept of acceleration can be really useful and even more useful than that talent itself.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's especially important to my high achievers out there or parents of high achievers.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I want to introduce the acceleration loop.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is where a child or an adult becomes fascinated.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: They spend time on that fascination, and then they improve.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: That improvement creates enjoyment for them.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: The enjoyment leads them to spend more time on that fascination.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And spending that time on the fascination creates even more improvement.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, this loop compounds.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You go from fascination to practice to progress to reward to an even deeper fascination.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: That is the acceleration loop.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And this explains why most people think accelerated individuals are different.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really that they're just spending more hours inside this loop.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And doesn't that also explain why we envy prodigies like Max Alexander?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because one moment they were behind where we are, and then suddenly, without explanation, they've advanced far beyond where we are.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't seem to understand it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But it's only because they're living inside this acceleration loop.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to introduce to you some of the concepts that will help you to enter and utilize an acceleration loop for yourself.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go through a list of what I call accelerators, things that help you on that path to getting more accomplished in a shorter amount of time.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the first accelerator I think is fairly obvious.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Early starts matter.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: But not maybe for the reason that you think they do.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So just to name a few other child prodigies, let's think about Mozart and Tiger Woods, Serena Williams and Venus Williams, and Justin Bieber, and of course, um Michael Jackson.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you can add to that list now Max Alexander.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, people hear these names and think, well, I never got the chance to start at seven.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the end of that, right?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not really what we want to talk about here.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: You see, the important part of this is that the clock starts wherever you begin immersing yourself.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a huge point I want you to lean into.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, early starts matter.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're eight years old and you start a career immersed in something for 30 years, you're going to be accelerated faster than someone who starts that process at age 30 or 40.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it matters, but it doesn't mean that you are excluded from this accelerator loop, no matter what age you're at.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: The second point I want to talk about is that obsession beats actual motivation.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: People are always asking themselves, how do I stay motivated, right?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: You see, motivation requires effort.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: But absorption or fascination creates effort.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a big difference there.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's a really important point because you want to direct your energy where you're absorbed, where you're fascinated with something, not something where you're like, I have to make myself do it.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: You see the difference?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's a big difference.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, let's talk about accelerator number three.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: Repetition compounds a lot faster than actual intelligence.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about Max Alexander.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say he just was designing or working on his projects once a month.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he he'll make progress, yes.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But for someone who designs every day or works on that craft every day, the gap between you and most people is going to grow larger and larger.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not because you're more intelligent, it's because of the number of repetitions you do.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Success is often hidden repetition becoming visible.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the next section, accelerator number four, is a huge one.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Adults often spend a lot of time learning and learning and learning and studying and learning.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas guess what prodigies do?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly that.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: They do.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: They fail, they adjust, they repeat, but they're actively in the process of doing and learning at the same time.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: The learning is not a separate phase, it comes with the actions.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of adults spend a lot of time preparing and learning without the actual application.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: You see, knowledge, progress, and expertise comes with learning, but also actively doing at the same time because that's where you can apply that learning.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: So don't make the mistake of sitting too long in the learning phase or just trying to learn and thinking that you'll be able to do something without the actual practice and repetitions.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Accelerator number five.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, this is important because a lot of people don't understand why sometimes networking groups are important, but here's the truth that elite environments can compress the time you spend and really get you into that accelerated loop faster.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: This is just really practical in general for anyone.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: You see, coaches, mentors, communities, and experts, they truly can change your trajectory.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Max Alexander, I was watching online, had actually gone to some of the top core set makers in order to learn that craft.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why he can do that now.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and he was willing to ask, and he had the support of his family to go after those things.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: But if you want to increase your knowledge, become great at what you do, learn from the best.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Learn from people who know how to do it, seek them out, find out what they know, ask if they're willing to help, find out what they know.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to pay them, sometimes they're willing to do it for free.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is go to the people who know how to do it and learn from them.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because it will change your trajectory.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's how a person like Max Alexander, who has a fascination with fashion, has taken it from more than just a fascination, as maybe so many kids out there have a fascination with fashion, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: But it's taken it from more than just a fascination to an actual craft and been able to surpass so many adults because not only is he fascinated with it, but he's producing visible and masterful results.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because of these accelerator loops that we're talking about, and because he's not only learning, but also actively putting in the time and reps into what he's doing.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: When people think of how did someone become so great like Michael Jackson at such a young age, or Beyoncé at such a young age, it's because they started early, right?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: They started early.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: They were in elite environments where people were supportive of their fascination, right?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that they necessarily, of course, they're talented, but it's not necessarily that they had a bigger talent than a lot of people do.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's that they had a supportive environment, people who encourage that fascination, allow them to pursue uh masters in their field and get the knowledge from those people, and then put in the time and repetitions into their craft.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so they have all of these things to help them compound and accelerate at a faster rate than most people can.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about another point we can learn from these prodigies.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Accelerator number six.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Prodigies, people who get into the accelerator loops, they don't wait to feel ready.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, they just start.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: They start doing.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people want to feel certain that they know enough or that what they're doing is gonna lead to success.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Kids don't know if they're gonna be successful or not, right?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, most people think they won't be.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the beauty of it, is they allow them to put those efforts in without having any guarantee of success.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Accelerated people look for the experience, not for the success itself.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Adults are always asking, what if I fail?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: What if I fail?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Accelerated people, prodigies, ask, What am I gonna learn from this experience?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You see the difference?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're not going into it with this idea of this is what success is gonna look like, and I will only do this if I get that success.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're going into it with, I'm fascinated by what I'm doing right now.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna learn from this?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if there's gonna be success or not.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm willing to learn whatever I can learn from this experience.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: That is what gets you really into that accelerated loop.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, section seven, let's talk about identity protection.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: You see, children don't look or think about their identity.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: They just are who they are.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Adults think a lot about that.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna look like?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: What are people gonna think of me?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And who's gonna criticize me?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: How are they gonna criticize me?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna be embarrassed?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna look stupid?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so they don't get enough repetitions into their craft because they're too concerned about what other people think, what they're gonna look like, what that means about who they are.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Kids, prodigies, they don't think about that.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: They just do.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: They just do.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever people think about them, they don't care.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: And isn't that the great thing about when you're a child?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that why we had so many friends as children?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because we didn't care what people thought of us.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: We just who are who we are, and other people just accepted us that way as well.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we were able to just be ourselves without getting criticized.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was only until a certain age where, you know, people started to place those judgments of criticisms on you that you started to feel conscious of who you you are and what your identity is.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: But before that, you are just totally fine being immersed in whatever it is that that makes you feel that way without worrying about, oh, if I like this, someone's gonna think I'm dumb or stupid or not cool.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: No, you just are fascinated with what you're fascinated with.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: You spend time in those fascinations and you get the experience there because you're willing to learn.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the attitude you need to come into things with if you want to get on an accelerated loop.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: This leads us to the final section.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Child prodigies are people who accelerate at great speed, tend to build before they understand everything completely.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of people out there who are endlessly going to prepare for what their projects are.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guilty of it as well.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know it took me about four years to actually do my first podcast here?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was endlessly preparing.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: People who accelerate fast, they don't do that.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: They just start.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: They don't always know all the details of how it's going to work, but they start.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not being reckless, this is just having an act of participation.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, you should plan, prepare, do as much of that as you can at the same time, but you should not let it stop you from taking action.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean to say that planning and being prepared is not important.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: But if you plan endlessly, that is going to slow your progress down.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: You should put in the appropriate amount of time to plan and prepare for something, but then you need to start.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: You need to start to get the ball rolling, to make progress.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And as you're doing that, you're going to learn more.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to find out what you don't know.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to find out where you need to learn more, where you need to prepare better, or maybe you totally make a mistake, but then you know how to fix it the next time, right?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that is why it's important to take action, even if you don't feel completely prepared.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do your best to prepare, but if you don't feel entirely prepared, don't let that stop you.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So let's ask ourselves why do these child prodigies affect us emotionally so much?
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, after having talked about all these accelerator tips, it's not really because we want their talent per se.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have no desire really to become a leading fashion designer, right?
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I love fashion.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I see so many beautiful designs out there that for me, that would not be where I would want to put my effort and time because I don't feel like I would add anything there personally, um, maybe one day, but right now I don't feel that way, right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm still fascinated by a young person like Max Alexander.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's not because I want to be a fashion designer or because I'm envious of that.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: But why most people get fascinated with someone like that is because we recognize the power of their momentum.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: We see the immersion in their fascination.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it allows us to completely and clearly see their trajectory and where they're going.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: We can all see what's going to happen to Max Alexander, even though it hasn't happened yet.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's clear.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we know that.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we're fascinated because we know that anyone who does what he's doing is going to get to the place we know he's going to go.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: We recognize immersion, we recognize possibility, and then we also recognize something that maybe we've neglected for ourselves.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where the fascination comes in.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because subconsciously we're trying to connect to how is it that that person is doing that?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I what I really want to emphasize is that we should stop saying, I wish I'd started earlier.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, it's great to start earlier, it's always great.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we've talked about compounding on this podcast before.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't heard all those episodes about financial success for young adults, then you should go back and listen to them.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, compounding in any field is really where you will get the ultimate success, whether it's in knowledge, whether it's in a craft, whether it's financially compounding, spending more time beats making one-off smarter choices.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: So compounding always is so powerful.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's great to start earlier.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: But what I think the lesson should be more than that, is to ask yourself what would happen if you started immersing yourself with your fascination right now.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think really why I'm interested in prodigies and young people, the same as everybody else, is that I'm really interested in what accelerates human growth because talent is everywhere.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Talent is everywhere.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can look at a classroom of young children in any school in the country, and you're gonna find at least five talented kids.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but you won't see all of them successful or accelerated in their in their progress.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's because talent exists everywhere.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard to control.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: But immersing yourself with your craft that you can control.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: Repetitions you can control.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Your environment, getting into a supportive environment, you can control.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're telling me right now, okay, my family's not supportive, there are communities out there that can support you.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: There are people who are not in your family that can support you.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: There are mentorship groups that can support you, there are coaches out there you can hire.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: There are ways to get supportive environments, even if it's not what you were born into.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you can control how much you participate with this process.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: These things are available so much more than we think they are.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think the reason we keep watching these extraordinary people, these extraordinary prodigies, is because it reminds us of what we know we can do and just haven't done yet.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: They're reminding us of how much we know is possible when we put our attention where it should go.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So, just to recap this episode, what we can learn from prodigies is a giant lesson about accelerated success.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: And what allows these people to advance 10 times faster are the following components: an earlier start.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a controversial point.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Someone starts at seven, instead of 27, they have 20 extra years.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's simple.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: But the interesting thing is adults can start now.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're not excluded from that genius, from that acceleration loop.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can't change your age, but you can change today.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, massive repetition.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is huge.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Max Alexander isn't designing occasionally, he's designing constantly.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Most adults dabble.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Prodigies immerse themselves completely, and that's what leads to massive repetition and progress.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, the use of immediate feedback loops.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Prodigies create, they're actively creating or doing, and that leads to feedback, which helps them to adjust and then create again.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_00: Adults spend years planning and planning and planning instead of doing the way that prodigies involve themselves.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that's really powerful.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, remember that obsession will accelerate you more than forced motivation.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is a big one.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Most people ask how to stay motivated.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you're asking that question, you're probably not doing something that you're obsessed with.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Prodigies don't have to be motivated, they're absorbed, and that's a huge difference.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Number five, they learn from experts earlier.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Max Alexander may have watched some YouTube videos, but he's not just doing that.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: He's around elite designers.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Elite environments compress your learning and accelerate your progress.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, they fail earlier and they fail publicly.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: By age 20, a prodigy may already have had a thousand failures, ten thousand hours, hundreds of projects, while a lot of adults are just still waiting to feel ready, be willing to fail.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: And along that line, number seven, they don't protect their identity.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Adults are terrified of looking bad.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Kids don't mind looking bad.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And most often, they're willing to learn and admit that they may not know everything.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: This accelerates their growth enormously.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: And lastly, prodigies build before they feel completely qualified.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: Again, adults learn, learn, learn, learn.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Prodigies do learn and adjust.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, what we can learn here is that prodigies teach us how progress can compound quickly.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So what I want you to take away from this is if Max Alexander can go to where he is now in eight years, what could I do in eight years from now?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't need prodigy level talent.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe what you need is prodigy level immersion.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, when we do this, because fascination creates effort, we're able to do this for more than just a week.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: We can do it for months, years, and that's really where the acceleration happens.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for joining me today.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you've learned a few tips to help you get into an accelerated path if that's what you're aiming for.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear your comments.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear what it is you would like to learn more about.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: I try to make this practical for you, maybe things that you haven't heard about before or thought about before.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we just spotlight things that are irresistible.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because we can try to learn from that to create our own irresistible life.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is a podcast for high achievers and parents of high achievers.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: But what we can learn from people who seem irresistible is that there are a lot of lessons that will help us create our own irresistible life, which is truly, isn't that what a life of high achievement is?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: A life where we love who we are and don't want to be anyone else.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I continue to make podcasts with that aim in mind.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a wonderful week.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Stay irresistible until next time.