Latest / Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix / What to Do if You Have Anxiety Around Dating

Transcript

What to Do if You Have Anxiety Around Dating · Secrets They'll Only Tell a Matchmaker with Gina Hendrix

• 0:00
  What to do if you have social or dating anxiety?
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  Hang on, let's talk about it. I know a lot of you privately
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  struggle with this. In fact, yesterday I had a call
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  with a girl who was facing the same exact issue, so I had to
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  have a brainstorming session with her.
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  Now, I'm no therapist, so I think #1 you definitely want to
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  be working with a qualified therapist.
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  And just because somebody calls themselves a therapist or a
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  relationship expert or a matchmaker doesn't make them
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  good or credible. Keep in mind when you hire
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  someone to work with therapist or anyone that you do your
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  research and you check their credentials, do that first.
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  But then I think if you're struggling with deep, deep
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  psychological issues that beyond the tips I'm about to give you,
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  tips I'm about to give you are going to be proactive because
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  I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm not a therapist.
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  What I am is somebody who knows dating and knows different
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  dating strategies and techniques that work.
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  And I like to give you proactive techniques for things, and
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  that's what I'm going to give you here today.
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  OK, Hang on. So I had to do this
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  brainstorming session on the spot with her.
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  And I came up with a few good ones that I want to share with
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  you today that might help push you out of this fear zone that
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  you're locked into. Because anxiety is just fear.
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  You know, it could be real, but most of the time it's not real.
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  Like things you imagine that might happen, never do, never
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  do. OK.
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  So I'm going to give you a few practical tips and strategies
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  that'll help push you limbo land rat wheel that you're on that
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  where you just going in circles, not making any progress.
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  Hang on, join meet up groups. Meet up groups are everywhere.
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  Why meet up? I in fact, meet up's been around
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  for years. I had my own several my own meet
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  up groups over the years. The good thing about meet up is
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  that the people aren't necessarily like the coolest or
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  snobbiest people in the world, which is good because these are
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  people that want to meet other people.
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  They're open minded, they're friendly, they're looking to do
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  exactly what you're doing, get their feet wet, talking to
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  people, socializing and it's a safe space.
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  And also when you join meet up, you can see all the members
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  pictures so you can get an idea of the type of people that are
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  in the group. And most of these groups have
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  live events. Live events and getting out of
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  your house and going and doing is really key.
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  But I got more hang on. I even think dance lessons could
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  be great now I suggested dance lessons to her and she was like,
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  oh, I like line dancing. Line dancing isn't quite the
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  same because you're not physically touching anybody when
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  you're doing line dancing, at least not any of the line
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  dancing classes I've ever been to.
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  I would say ballroom dancing or even salsa.
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  Salsa is very sexy because that way you're partnered with
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  somebody, right? And it might sound scary.
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  That's the point. And then you're you have to
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  touch each other. So I think for those who are
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  introverted, socially awkward or with Arrested Development, as
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  she said she is, I think doing these kind of things, salsa,
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  ballroom dancing, where you can actually physically get your
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  hands on somebody. And for those ladies that aren't
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  in their feminine, they have to like, let the guy lead.
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  I think whether you're a man or a woman, I think dancing lessons
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  could be amazing. But I got more next on the list,
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  there's speed dating events. There's live and online speed
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  dating dating events. I think they've rebranded it
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  now. They call it shuffle events, but
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  you can do these shuffle events. Why is this so great?
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  Because boy, if you get nervous talking to people, it's a very
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  short window of time you have with somebody.
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  If you stumble, if you say something, you feel stupid,
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  doesn't matter, your time's up. You move on to the next person.
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  They got somebody else in the seat.
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  They're never going to remember your mistakes, and probably not
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  even mistakes, but at least this gives you a chance to practice.
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  I would go to as many speed dating or shuffle events as
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  possible. Last but not least, now that
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  you've kind of done these practice things that I've
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  suggested, I would suggest going to happy hours or any kind of
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  events you could find and go by yourself.
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  Going by yourself is really key, but you don't want to go late at
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  night. Go kind of on the earlier side
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  of it because I don't want you running, especially ladies
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  running around town late at night by yourselves and you
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  never leave your drinks unattended.
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  All right, cover them, take them to the restroom, whatever you
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  want to do. But go and talk to people
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  because when you go with a friend to events, you cling on
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  to your friend like like a life preserver.
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  But this way if you're by yourself, it forces you to talk
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  to more people. And I would start going to as
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  many of these things as possible.
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  Push yourself, push yourself. And I hope it helps.