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Adam Roach on Building an Authentic Coaching Practice · Authentic Living

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Welcome to Authentic Living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations
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about things that really matter in our lives.
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And now here's your host, Roxanne Durhaj.
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Hi, everyone.
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It's Roxanne Durhodge.
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Thanks for tuning in again to Authentic Living with Roxanne.
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So today, I have a special guest, Adam Broach.
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And Adam is in a field that I entered eventually after entering psychotherapy, moved
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over to coaching, and Adam has been in the coaching arena.
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And now, Adam, for how long?
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Twenty plus years.
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Wow.
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Goodness.
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Goodness.
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So you've been around for quite a bit...
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A long time.
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And he has a community on coaching.
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And today, we're gonna just chat about coaching because I think a lot of people think they know
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what a coach is, Adam.
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And, really, based on all the things that we're experiencing in this time, what is it that
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people need to understand if they are going to?
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And I think everybody needs a coach or a guide in some way to to to land where they need to if
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they're making that choice.
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So, Adam, how does one become a coach?
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What...
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Did you go to school?
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Did you say, wanna go to coaching school?
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Did you go to business school?
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What's your
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I can honestly say I get it naturally, and it's probably in my DNA.
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My father was an Olympic swim coach, and so I got to watch the sporting world coach most of
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my life until he he passed.
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And I didn't know anything other than watching him, and we would have athletes stay with us.
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I was young.
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I was really young when he would take them to the Olympic trials and then to the Olympics.
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And...
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But I got to witness it.
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I jokingly say my mother was a a big time tennis player, and I didn't go to a babysitter.
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I would either go to the tennis courts in a crib, or I would go to the swimming pool with
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my dad in a crib.
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Right?
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And so I've seen that type of coaching my entire life.
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Now fast forward, I played collegiate tennis.
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I attempted to play professional tennis.
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I had coaches with me my entire life, and it wasn't until my father passed in 2019.
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So I'll back up real quick.
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After I left college, I attempted to play professional tennis and found out real quick
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that I was an American, not a European.
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It was getting my butt kicked all the time, And that was not good.
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That was not good for the ego.
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That's for sure.
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Or the pocketbook.
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And so I got into the tennis business, and I started coaching in the tennis space.
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That was also my entry.
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I was in Southern California.
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That was my entry into the real estate world in the early And so as the market rose, I played
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in the real estate space and really enjoyed it until I didn't enjoy it.
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Now it's when the market crashed.
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Though I got into the real estate space thereafter into the brokerage world, and I
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really liked that.
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And so I was able to see business through a different lens, and I started owning real
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estate franchises.
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And that was when I transitioned from the West Coast to the East Coast.
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I now live in Charleston, South Carolina.
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As I started building these franchises, real estate franchises, I started realizing that the
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agents needed direction.
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They needed systems.
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They needed models.
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I started coaching them on the models that I had at my disposal.
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And I really loved it, though I didn't feel I was having a significant impact on their life.
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And I didn't really understand that language until 2019 when my father passed.
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And I'm standing at the front of the room, and I'm giving his eulogy.
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And I look out, Roxanne, over all the entire crowd, and I see athletes, and I see coaches,
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and I see parents, and I see loved ones.
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And I really stopped, and I took a hard look.
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And I thought, and John Maxwell has taught me this for years.
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Am I having success or am I having significance on people?
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Right?
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And so it was at that moment in time that we called the beach chair moment now inside of the
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I love coaching community that I came back to Charleston, and I sat in a beach chair all by
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myself.
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And I had to go internal.
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And I'm a spiritual guy, so I prayed.
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And I just kept asking, what's next?
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What do I do next?
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Where do I go next?
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And I kept hearing significance, and I kept hearing surround yourself with better people.
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And I know that I can lean that up on scripture.
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And I know that I'm supposed to walk with the wise.
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Right?
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Because if you walk with fools, you get harmed.
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And so the question was very simply, what what is coaching?
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And so I sold everything.
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I literally sold everything.
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I sold my franchises.
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I had a SaaS model in the recruiting space.
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I sold that as well.
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And I went into building a coaching community because I wanted to surround myself with people
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who were in the significant space of serving and impacting other people to help them move
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forward.
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And now we've been blessed inside of this coaching space to...
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Our coaching community to have been now on four continents of serving coaches to help them
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build their businesses and serve other people.
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So I believe a coach can be many different definitions.
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Though I do believe a coach needs to be in a...
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In an identity space of significance over success.
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That's interesting.
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I sold real estate, by the way, right now to university for four years.
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And Yeah.
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Was it...
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Because I'm so young.
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I...
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My degree, I was 21, and I grew up in business, business family.
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And I went into real estate.
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I'm like, the systems didn't exist.
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It's so interesting that you sent that.
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Yep.
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And I was...
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I did well as a new person, new city, and all that, but then I got bored.
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And Mhmm.
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Because there was...
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Like, I hadn't lived enough life.
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Now I realize it.
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It's my...
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But I hadn't lived enough life.
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But really in that world back then, especially in talking, god goodness, back in the late
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eighties, there really truly were...
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Now there's a lot, like you said, a lot of systems
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and
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Sure.
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Stuff like that.
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But people weren't like...
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They were just looking at ends, and they weren't looking at funnels and what you were
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doing and stuff like that.
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So it's interesting that you sent that you went into that world.
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And what for me was lacking was significance back then.
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Right?
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So I went back.
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I went back to grad school and became a psychotherapist.
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And then I found the significance that I was trying...
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Because I went my undergrad was in psych in criminology, went into business, but it just
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didn't fit.
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And then where do I end back up?
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I ended up back in business, just speaking to that element of success was significance.
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Back in business, but in a a space that felt significant to me.
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So it's interesting that when you're sitting on your wheelchair and you're trying to find your
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significance that you kinda landed.
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Now I wanna back up and talk about your parents because that's pretty interesting.
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What does it take?
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I'm sure my son will talk about my mother's a psychotherapist, and I've had stories that I've
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I've heard because of the impact of what I did in his life.
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What significance do you think they had in not just what...
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Not just coaching, but kind of the approach that you took to making this choice?
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Great question.
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Here's what I believe about our environments.
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And and, specifically, we're talking about the parent space.
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And for myself, I was fortunate to have both mother and father at home.
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And so I believe it's what's caught, not always taught.
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Because at the end of the day Not taught.
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I like that.
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Use that somewhere.
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No.
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It's caught, not taught.
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Taught not taught.
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Yep.
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And so, again, I'll go back to speaking my father's eulogy.
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I used that in there.
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And...
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Because my father was not a a kind of coach or teacher or dad who would sit you down and say,
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now let me teach you something here.
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My dad was more of the show you.
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And because that was how his dad was, right?
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His dad was a farmer in Indiana, and his dad's dad was a farmer in Indiana.
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And so hard work, effort, manual labor was seen.
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Right?
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It was effort.
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And so I saw my dad have effort.
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I saw him put forth effort.
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I saw him on the cover of magazines.
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I saw him win awards and be put into Hall of Fame.
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I saw all that.
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Though I'll share something here and this I'm gonna throw a little curveball is we, as
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children that grow up into adults, we can allow that sometimes those environments to create
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false identities of ourselves.
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We can allow that or at least I'll just use myself as an example to create what I like to
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call poses.
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Right?
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Poses.
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Poses.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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We pose because we're not truly clear of who our identity is because we come from these
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containers.
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Right?
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We come from these these environments that we have a mother who is a an accountant, a CPA,
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have a father who is a coach, a swim coach, we see these worlds.
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And we think, wow, Maybe I should be as stable as my mom, or maybe I should be as as outwardly
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facing as my dad.
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But that's not always true.
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Right?
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That...
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That's not always true.
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And so when we watch coaches, when we see and help coaches build their businesses, we do.
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We take them through an identity equation.
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And I'm not gonna go into your world because your world is amazing, and I absolutely am just
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so mesmerized by your world.
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Though I take them through a simple equation.
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And, again, I might have to refer you some of these coaches from time to time because we do
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start with a wound.
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Right?
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We do start with a wound.
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And we say it actually is, v equals p.
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And it goes like
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v p.
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Okay.
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That's right.
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So the wound that was created in your world or that you felt or that you went through, though,
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was impactful.
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Right?
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From a a man's side, right, we take this on the dad.
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The wound that the dad created in my case...
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And, it wasn't intentional.
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Right?
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This truly wasn't intentional.
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It was just what happened.
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Was that he was a passive father that got his validation from outside of the house.
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And so the magazine covers, the accolations, the hall of fames, all those types of things.
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So the wound created a lie.
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So that's the l.
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So it goes w l.
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So Okay.
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Wound plus l, the l that I had created was I was inadequate.
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Right?
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I was inadequate.
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And to the outreach of my father and then the lie...
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Let's see.
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Yep.
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Wound, lie, vow is the next one.
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So w plus l plus vow, v o w.
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The vow is what we create to mask or overcome the lie.
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My vow, I'm gonna win everything.
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My vow, I'm gonna work really hard.
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My vow, I'm gonna overcome any obstacle that comes my way.
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And then my pose, p o s e, my pose is that I perform.
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I am a performance driven person.
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Yes.
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On the outside looking in, that is what people But when we step into that, I'm a performance
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driven person, it can create inauthenticness if it's not your true self.
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And if you step into the lane of coaching in an inauthentic space, that's a recipe for
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disaster.
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Let me share with you real quick.
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So that's... That is
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That is coming from that environment.
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I had to identify that.
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Do I like to perform?
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Sure.
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Am I driven?
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Yes.
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Is it my true identity?
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Not always.
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Sorry.
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Got a little deep there, but that's
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No.
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No.
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But that's good, though, because, I mean, like I said, I went...
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Foremost training to be a psychotherapist and took that route where I did everything related
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to frontline and then went into corporate consulting in my mid twenties and then loved
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that space and and loved the corporate strategy and then went that route, went...
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Did the...
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And then eventually started my old boutique firm.
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So I think it's a parallel, really, to some degree versus everybody's a coach today, and I
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I don't know if everybody says I'm a coach.
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And it's so much more if you are truly wanting to impact lives.
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And I think about when you say that like myself, I grew up with a bit of instability in
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my family, very successful family, family of six.
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But guess what I learned?
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I learned that if I could excel and overperform into...
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And I was academic excellence quite early, the the world was my oyster.
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That's right.
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Yeah.
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So so my wound would have been instability with the family system.
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And then the lie would have been like, if you get a a in everything or outperform others,
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then my vow would be that would repair everything.
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How good is that?
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Nice job.
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Right?
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So,
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Randy, I think I love I love the model because I think a lot of the normal kind of coaching...
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It's like, don't talk about the past.
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Right?
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Like, when people come to me and they know I have a background, then I go, okay.
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I'm not in the psychotherapeutic role right now, but there's such a definitive lie.
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Right?
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I was referring someone the other day, a couple that came across, and I I wanted to send them
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to a couple's therapist.
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So I thought, oh, I'm gonna send...
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And the couple's therapist was...
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She has clinical background, but now she's trying to draw this line.
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Well, we don't look at the past.
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And I said, okay.
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But there's patterns of behavior, core blocking beliefs that develop, and the intertwining of
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systems over how people kinda interrelate.
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So how...
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I like the fact that you're talking about not you're not getting stuck in the past, but you
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have to be informed by the past in order to clear the way for, like you said, what am I
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gonna love to do?
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What's gonna feel like play
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Yeah.
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And I'm gonna make a difference versus I'm gonna pick a thing, and I'm gonna pick that as
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a career and not really know the impact that it's gonna have on you.
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And then in turn, if it has a...
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Doesn't have the level of impact, then it's gonna obviously impact your coachee.
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That's right.
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That's right.
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Well...
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And I'll
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give you a simple real world example of this.
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We had
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a a coach who was in the community, and her vision was that she wanted to coach
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specifically real estate leadership people.
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Okay, great.
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Okay.
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Now we have a blueprint, and the blueprint is a four phase blueprint.
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And the idea behind it is in phase one, you actually have to go internal before you come
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external.
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Yep.
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And while she went through this process, she defined the avatar.
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And about four months later, she came back and she said, if I have to coach that avatar any
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longer, Adam, I'm gonna pull my hair out like you.
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And I said, okay.
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Now I knew what she should
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do
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Yeah.
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Though she had to go do it herself.
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And said, I what are you gonna go do?
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She goes, I'm gonna go back through phase one, and I'm gonna come back, and I'm gonna have a a
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better defined avatar.
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And what she was doing was she was actually identifying the avatar, the first one, the
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client, through a pose.
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Right?
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She thought that she was the leader.
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She thought she had to be the strong one that if she coached that person, it would make her
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look good.
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Right?
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And what she realized, when she came back after she went back through it and she said, oh, I
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missed it.
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I said, what'd you miss?
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And she said, I missed the word passion.
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Who do I have passion that I want to coach and serve?
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And I said, well, who is it?
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And she said, mothers who are entrepreneurial CEOs.
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I was like, oh, fascinating.
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Ding, ding, ding, because she is one.
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Right?
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And she knew she could...
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Here comes a big word, serve that person better than coach someone that she could coach, but
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she had no passion around.
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And the neat part about that was she stepped into significance because she had a a a real
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desire to help and serve that second avatar.
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And her business shot up into the right because she could speak like them.
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She knew what they were thinking.
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We call it the problem solution cycle.
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She had lived that problem solution cycle, and she could help that person all day long.
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I love the model because the parallels are, like, when I was in Turkey, they put us...
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They put me in therapy for a year.
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Of course, for a 21 year old, you can imagine.
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I was like, I'm not going to therapy.
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I'm just...
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And then I'm like, oh my god.
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A year later, what humbling what a humbling experience because I was way too young for the
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education I had, and I had no business knowing I was gonna go out there and do the thing.
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But it really opened my eyes to the reality of the choice that I had made in a career.
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Right?
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So I think it's great.
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In my case, it was developmental along with.
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But what you're saying is I love the fact that people are not gonna...
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You have to be...
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I'm a I'm a life coach.
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I'm an ADHD coach or whatever, and they're just kinda picking off, like, something that they
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think they might like to do, but they're not dropping down into it.
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So with your community then, tell me a little bit about it.
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Are people ICF designate...
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Designations?
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Do they have to...
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Do they do that route and go to you?
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Or how does it all...
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Tell me about this world.
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Here's what I believe.
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I believe that everyone has the capability of serving someone, and Rory Vaden says it best.
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He's he's the brand builders guy.
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Right?
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He wrote a book called Wealthy and Well Known.
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And he says you're most powerfully positioned to serve the person you used to be.
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And and I absolutely agree with him a 100%.
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So what we do is we serve many, though we like to find the coaches who are currently coaching
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that don't have framework around their business, and that's where we help them in our
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blueprint in phase two, three, and four.
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Phase two is how do we go find ten one on one coaching clients that we can at least make
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enough money to keep the lights on.
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Right?
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And that enough money is $15,000 a month, $180,000 a year.
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Great.
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That's simple.
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One on one, 10 coaching clients.
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Phase three is how do we go to a one to many model now?
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Now one to many is not group coaching.
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What we need to realize is as we are going through this growth process in the coaching
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space, we call it the three p's.
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When you start one on one coaching, you're going to find the avatar that you wanna serve
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based on the passion that you have from your problem solution cycle of yesterday, and people
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are going to come to you because of proximity.
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Okay?
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That's the first p in building the coaching business.
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When you move to a one to many approach, now we are developing peers, not coach peers, but
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client peers who understand, and this is where most most coaches miss it, that they desire to
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have that coach's process.
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And when you can develop a process in the coaching space, now you can go to a one to many
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model.
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And that one to many model, you're teaching that one to many people what we call a chapter
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of your book, not the whole book, the chapter of the book.
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Because those people want how to make...
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How to buy back your time, how to make more money, how to fill in the blank.
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Right?
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And that's a chapter at a time because if they want the full book, now they get to come to you
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for one on one coaching, and you get to increase your prices.
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Okay.
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But now phase four is once you have proximity understood, peers in a one to many with a
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process, phase four is how do I go maybe now write a real book?
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How do I now maybe go do a TED Talk?
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How do I now maybe scale this through jumping on someone else's podcast or build and
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developing my own podcast where my reach can get wider?
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So we say phase three, you can build a $360,000 business, which we've done very successfully
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with other people.
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And phase four is how do you build this as a million?
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So the coaches that come into our community are people that currently have maybe coaching
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businesses.
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Now that does not exclude those who have a problem solution cycle that want to serve
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people but maybe aren't coaching right now.
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And we have a free guide for them.
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They can go get it right now.
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If you go to ilovecoachingco.com, it's get paid to coach.
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It's a very free guide.
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It's 10 questions, and they can step in and solve that themselves.
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They don't even have to come in the community.
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They can solve it through that...
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Those 10 questions.
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So, no, no one has to be certified to come into our world Because quite frankly, I believe the
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certifications are good.
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Your experiences of what you can solve for other people are great.
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Because my experiences are far greater than any certification on the wall.
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Absolutely.
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Failure tell you exactly what not to do.
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Right?
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And
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that's where we really help coaches identify that.
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Right?
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Identify...
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Again, I've said it now a few times, their problem solution cycle that they can turn into
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a process that will serve other people right now at that desired need.
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So for companies that are listening, right, because they employ a lot of coaches, and a lot
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of times, they want designations and those types of things.
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Right?
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What is it that they...
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You think that they should consider more than ever in those arenas?
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Because those those could be significant contracts that they sign and stuff like that.
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What are some of the things with my audience that might be considering coach...
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Hiring coaches, looking for coaches, whether it's an executive coaching or team coaching or
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whatever.
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What are some of the basic things, Adam, that you think maybe that they need to consider to
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make the right choices?
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Because I think that's important.
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Right?
22:26
Because sometimes you don't know.
22:27
People bow and you think, oh, so and so's name has been floating around.
22:31
Whatever.
22:32
To your point, unlike you, it's like, what's the outcome?
22:34
Yep.
22:35
You're paying a big bill.
22:36
Are you getting the actual quantifiable outcomes and qualitative as well and in the
22:42
end?
22:42
Yep.
22:43
For those listeners that are looking at that.
22:45
So a couple fold.
22:46
Right?
22:47
If a big corporation wants to have their coaches certified because those coaches need to
22:53
have this...
22:54
The the type of education that the certification brings for that specific avatar
22:58
that they're gonna coach, I think it's great all day long.
23:00
Though on the flip side, if a corporation is going to hire a coach, we've got three more
23:07
p's.
23:07
That first p, which is one of the most important, and you nailed it, is payoff.
23:12
Right?
23:12
What is the payoff that coach is offering that lands with my desire right now?
23:20
What is that payoff?
23:21
Because at the end of the day, from a coach's perspective, we know that if I could show you
23:28
receipts, tried and true testimonials, that I could get you to a million dollars of net
23:34
income, you would invest at least a $100,000.
23:39
Why not?
23:40
Who wouldn't trade a $100,000 for a million dollars?
23:43
$900,000 return, I'm putting my money there all day long.
23:46
Right?
23:47
So from a payoff standpoint, we look at any books behind me.
23:51
Right?
23:52
Here's Dan Martell, former coach of none.
23:54
Buy back your time is a payoff.
23:57
That's a payoff.
23:58
Right?
23:59
So number one is what is that coach's payoff?
24:04
Second p, and this is one that can be overlooked, is premise.
24:09
What is that coach's belief in this process?
24:15
I could say, okay.
24:16
Fine.
24:16
You wanna come coach with me?
24:18
I only believe in ads.
24:21
Right?
24:22
Come coach with me.
24:23
I only believe in fill in the blank.
24:26
What is that coach's worldview on how to achieve that?
24:30
That's not a methodology yet.
24:32
That is their belief.
24:33
I believe, fill in the blank.
24:36
So if you are interviewing a coach, you say, what is your payoff?
24:40
Right?
24:41
What am I gonna give?
24:42
Second question is, what do you believe about achieving that payoff?
24:46
And then the third p is your practice or that coach's practice or that coach's methodology.
24:51
What are the actual steps that you're gonna get me or have me go through based on your belief
24:58
system to get me to that payoff.
25:00
And then that's what everyone should look at when hiring a coach because I could hire you
25:06
tomorrow because I like your personality, Because I think you're pretty because I like
25:13
your background, right, whatever.
25:16
But that will only go so far if I don't know the outcome that you can get me to because
25:22
you've been there and done that before.
25:24
If I don't know your beliefs, and if I don't know the steps, we could instantly get into
25:31
a...
25:31
An agreement and be misaligned.
25:33
And if we're misaligned and I signed a twelve month contract and you're like, hey.
25:37
You signed that, that could get messy real quick.
25:41
Absolutely.
25:41
And I think a lot of times what happens is when companies are going through stuff, they get
25:46
reactive, and they have to...
25:47
Let's say, they're recognized.
25:49
They have to come up with a solution relatively quickly.
25:51
Yeah.
25:52
And they may not take the time.
25:54
Right?
25:54
If you're being reactive, you're plugging a hole.
25:56
And like you said, with a big investment, let's say, there's need within a company, you're in a
26:01
roof cycle, or you've just landed some major contracts, and you recognize that you need to
26:07
skill up people.
26:08
And it's like, we don't have the systems in place.
26:10
We're gonna throw some mud against the wall and hope it sticks.
26:13
And so they make short term...
26:16
Maybe there's some long term implications on the decision, and it addresses the short term
26:20
but doesn't look at the kind of the long term implications of what needs to happen for
26:24
whatever skill you're trying to to develop.
26:27
Right?
26:27
Yep.
26:28
That's right.
26:28
Yeah.
26:29
In in in our space, I have no problem helping coaches get to $360,000 and charge them
26:35
$36,000.
26:37
I have no problem helping coaches get to a million dollars and charging them a $100,000
26:41
because I believe in the one tenth rule, and it works.
26:44
It definitely works.
26:46
And the neat part about that is...
26:47
And here's the thing.
26:48
We can look at it from both sides, the coach side and the client side.
26:53
Remember, people have to pay attention, and people who pay a lot pay a lot of attention.
27:00
Yeah.
27:00
Yeah.
27:01
Coaches understand that people want and will pay for compression of time.
27:09
So if I can say, I can help you get that done in six months, or you can come to Charleston
27:17
and fly here, and I'll do a two day immersion with you.
27:22
And we can take that six months and cut it down to two days.
27:26
People will pay more for that.
27:28
Absolutely.
27:29
Yeah.
27:29
You're right.
27:30
Yeah.
27:30
Absolutely.
27:32
So I think what you're...
27:34
What I'm hearing is less about schooling per se.
27:38
Not that people...
27:39
We all need a certain amount of schooling to be able to do it, but it's less about that and
27:43
more about those coaches spending the time, first of all, to make sure when they're
27:48
creating a business, that they're creating it for the right reasons, for significance.
27:52
And with your community or other communities like yours, you're allowing the space for
27:58
people to create the growth that they're looking for.
28:00
And not everybody's looking to build a huge business.
28:03
So But if they are, like the Dan Martells of the world...
28:06
And Dan, I believe he was a part of...
28:08
I'm a Canadian professional speaker, and he was part of our organization.
28:12
Never met him, but no of him when...
28:14
But he was part of our our speaking community.
28:16
And, of course, then took it to a different level.
28:18
Right?
28:18
You know, he's world famous kind of thing.
28:20
So good to know that there's a space for people to be able to go and to get what they need.
28:26
But I'm also thinking that it's also a space that's when you're starting off a business,
28:31
especially.
28:31
Right?
28:31
It's kinda lonely.
28:33
Right?
28:33
And everybody wants to sell you something
28:36
about
28:37
how to do this and how to speak and how to do the social media and how to do the the funnel.
28:42
There's all...
28:42
There's so many coming at you.
28:44
Yeah.
28:44
I'm gonna assume if somebody's cut...
28:45
Just starting off, there's different stages that you put them through and kind of things
28:50
they need to learn to to enter into that stage of the business.
28:55
The way I look at...
28:55
The reason why I created the community is because I know that humans want two things.
29:01
They want content.
29:02
Right?
29:02
They want something to follow.
29:04
They can see the model airplane on the box.
29:07
I want that.
29:08
I want to create that.
29:10
They don't always have the instructions.
29:13
Right?
29:13
So I...
29:13
That's the content that we create.
29:15
I don't know if this is gonna be video oriented, but here's our blueprint.
29:18
It's it's gonna be a video.
29:19
Okay.
29:20
So those ones, it's 200...
29:21
Here's 290 pages of just how to's.
29:25
Right?
29:26
Now we need to hear this because there are people out there.
29:31
So for example, coaches or those considering coaching, when you're out there sharing with
29:37
the world that you are a coach, I want you to...
29:42
Dan coached me really hard on this.
29:44
And he says, give away all of your know hows.
29:49
Give it away.
29:49
Give it away for free because people will pay for the how to.
29:57
And that is what we need to understand.
29:59
So when I created this community, I knew that people would want how to base content that my
30:06
team could help them.
30:07
What's the second thing that people want?
30:10
Community.
30:11
Right?
30:11
Right now, as you mentioned, and it's very true, there are so many coaches out there on a
30:15
lone island.
30:16
Entrepreneurs don't make decisions because they don't know if it's right or wrong.
30:21
And when you're isolated out there and you don't have a community to lean into, that's
30:27
when you make bad decisions in my opinion.
30:30
Right?
30:30
You...
30:31
Now people will go into to GPT, and they'll, hey.
30:34
Should I?
30:35
And it gives all the reasons yes or no.
30:37
And that's not the way to look at things.
30:39
It is does something...
30:42
Well, we'll just take out of coaching as example.
30:44
Does Adam's blueprint solve a problem?
30:47
Content.
30:47
Yes.
30:49
Does Adam's community environment align with who I wanna surround myself with?
30:56
Yes.
30:56
If it checks both those boxes, welcome the community.
30:59
Right?
31:00
And the neat part about the community, I look at it as a co op.
31:03
Co ops, they serve each other.
31:05
Right?
31:05
They serve each other.
31:06
They create resources for each other.
31:09
So this isn't the Adam Roach show.
31:11
This truly is a community of coaches that are serving each other.
31:17
And so I created a vision statement around this about six years ago.
31:20
And this is before we we had any type of growth, and that was to empower coaches, not
31:26
just me, everybody, all the coaches to empower each other, to empower coaches to change and
31:31
serve a 100,000,000 people.
31:34
Because at the end of the day, this ripple effect, I can have a conversation with you, and
31:40
let's say you're in the community, and then you can go have a conversation with one of the
31:43
clients.
31:43
The clients can go home and have a conversation with their family.
31:46
The family can go go back to high school and share it with somebody at the school.
31:49
The school can pick it up from a teacher and go share it.
31:51
The ripple effect that we can have in a serving and helping other people is massive.
31:56
So we call it the real coach blueprint, and real is not an arrogant term.
32:02
It's a acronym that John Max will help me.
32:05
Because I believe that every coach should be a real coach, and that is relevant, experiential,
32:12
authentic, and leaders.
32:14
Every coach should be a real coach.
32:17
The leadership portion of it is very important.
32:21
Leadership is influence.
32:23
John says nothing more, nothing less.
32:25
Leadership is influence.
32:26
But what is influence?
32:28
Influence is just getting someone to take action.
32:30
So if you're a
32:31
coach,
32:31
and you're on a call with
32:33
somebody,
32:33
and you end it and you say, hey, high five, good job client, and they go away with no real
32:39
action oriented steps.
32:41
You're just a friend.
32:43
Stop being a friend.
32:44
Right?
32:44
You need to be a real coach because people are paying you for your process for the outcome
32:48
that they desire.
32:49
Get them there, coach.
32:51
Get them there.
32:52
So that's why we have If
32:53
you're not asking the question, what part of this was significant and what are you gonna do
32:56
different between now and the next time with our discussion today, then you're you're right.
33:01
It's kinda like I can go down to the closest bar, get a drink, and That's right.
33:05
Give me a fist bump.
33:05
Hey.
33:06
Good call.
33:06
See you later.
33:07
Thanks for paying me.
33:08
No.
33:08
They're not gonna last.
33:09
It'll churn.
33:09
Yeah.
33:10
But tell me about a little bit about you mentioned, John.
33:14
Did you coach to...
33:15
Through him, or is he a colleague that you work with?
33:19
Obviously, he's one of the most famous coaches out there.
33:21
So So in two thousand two thousand nine, 2010, maybe 2010, I had a coach, and I've always had
33:29
coaches in my life.
33:31
I believe everybody should have a coach in their life of of a lot of things.
33:34
Before I I got married, I hired a relationship coach, which was fun.
33:37
I have a fitness coach.
33:38
I have a health coach.
33:39
I have many coaches in my life.
33:41
Business coaches.
33:42
John was someone that I had read.
33:45
Right?
33:45
I had read many of his books, and then he was opening up, and I just wanna be near him.
33:50
He was opening up a John Maxwell coaching program.
33:54
So I I paid...
33:55
I think it was $5,000 to go be a part of it.
33:57
I went and paid for it, and I just...
33:59
I literally wanted to meet John.
34:00
That's...
34:01
I was paying for...
34:02
Remember the first p, proximity.
34:04
That's what I was paying for.
34:06
And so I got the proximity, and then I just kept plugging in.
34:10
I kept plugging in.
34:11
I kept plugging in, and then we would be on Zooms.
34:13
And if I got a chance to ask him a question, I would ask him a question.
34:16
Alright.
34:17
Sure.
34:17
Yep.
34:18
And then he started doing Maxwell exchanges and what those were events.
34:23
And so I started attending those.
34:25
And then my wife and I started attending those.
34:27
And we would travel with him all over the globe.
34:29
We went to London with him.
34:30
We almost went to Israel with him.
34:32
I wish we would've, but we've been up and down the East Coast, West Coast, and we...
34:36
I think we went to eight of those exchanges.
34:38
And so it was through that, again, proximity that we got close to John, and I used to hold
34:43
events here in Charleston called the I love coaching whole life planning summits.
34:48
And John was always my keynote speaker at least two of the years out of seven.
34:51
So when my father passed, because John and I had built that relationship through his events,
34:56
he was a very dear shoulder for me.
34:59
He was a very...
35:01
Just almost like a grandpa, if you will.
35:03
And, yeah, John and I, we were just...
35:05
Where were we?
35:05
We were just in Dallas together, and he actually wrote my...
35:13
This is my wife's book called Restore.
35:15
She hit the USA Today bestseller with this.
35:18
And and John wrote...
35:19
Where is John?
35:20
John...
35:20
Oh, John is on the back cover here writing a testimonial for my wife.
35:24
Right?
35:25
Nice.
35:25
So nice.
35:26
Nice.
35:26
Super cool.
35:26
He's been in our world forever, and just...
35:30
I I wouldn't be where I am without him, and that is just truly a testament to a mentor and
35:35
a leader and a coach.
35:36
And community.
35:37
Like you said, you were the proximity in the community that you wanted to be around, and
35:42
then you just kind of eventually found yourself around around the space that you wanted to be.
35:47
So for anybody list and that's thinking, I want coaching or I wanna be...
35:52
Like, there's two things.
35:53
Right?
35:54
If you...
35:54
I think you answered if you wanna hire a coach.
35:56
I love that answer.
35:58
But if I am deciding and I think...
36:00
Like, I I started on my own.
36:02
I never went to anybody.
36:03
I, boy, could I have probably worked better if had I met a community like yours before because
36:08
I made a lot of mistakes, Adam, along the way.
36:12
And I don't know where to begin.
36:13
I've got some knowledge.
36:15
I know I'm...
36:16
I have...
36:16
Maybe I've have...
36:17
Maybe 50% of that significance question answered, but I know I want...
36:21
Have this burning passion to to do something and make a difference.
36:26
What do...
36:27
Where do you think someone should start?
36:29
Sure.
36:30
Go to my Instagram, Adam R.
36:32
Roach, and and DM me the word coach, and that's how you start.
36:35
No.
36:35
It is truly
36:36
that simple.
36:38
It's find the right who first.
36:42
Find the right who first.
36:44
I I do believe it's gonna be contrarian to to what maybe some people think.
36:50
I believe it's more about who before why.
36:54
Right?
36:54
I really do.
36:55
Sure.
36:55
We can have motivations.
36:57
We can have big aspirational dreams.
37:00
But if you don't have the right who's in your life, it's not impossible, but you...
37:07
As you said, you can get a lot further with the right who's in your life.
37:12
You can fail a lot faster too because they're going to help expedite that process.
37:19
A coach will help expedite that process.
37:21
So if you're considering coaching, I'd go I'd suggest you go find the right content based on
37:29
what it is you're looking to create.
37:32
And I believe that we have...
37:34
I'd put ours up to anything on the planet, not from an arrogant standpoint, just because we
37:38
have had success with.
37:39
We've helped so...
37:40
We've helped hundreds of coaches now.
37:42
And secondly is find the right community.
37:45
Find the right who that can, again, help expedite that process for you so that you know
37:52
how and what to look for around the corner because you can't see it right now.
37:57
You don't know what you don't know.
37:59
And until you step in that space and if you tap...
38:02
Here's what I say about transformation.
38:04
There's three parts to transformation.
38:07
So if you're sitting in your seat right now, and let's say you're in a seat that you're
38:11
having success in, but but to Roxanne, your language that you're feeling called to
38:16
something else.
38:18
The first way to step into transformation is transformation begins with humility.
38:24
Right?
38:24
You have to identify truly what you don't know.
38:28
You have to identify...
38:30
I call it your mess.
38:31
Right?
38:31
You have to identify that.
38:32
There's nothing wrong with having a We
38:34
all have a mess.
38:35
We do.
38:36
We all do.
38:37
The second thing is I believe that transformation thrives in a community.
38:43
Because when there's transformation in a community and you're able to be celebrated,
38:48
that's a big deal and celebration for any of the smallest little things.
38:52
So every Thursday, we have a community call that...
38:55
And we have different segments of that community call each month.
38:58
But I ask the community members when they're on their three simple questions before we start.
39:03
The first one is, what's the one word that describes what you're feeling right now?
39:07
And I just want to see it excited, overwhelmed, happy, lonely, what whatever they're feeling,
39:13
just share it.
39:14
Secondly is share with me the biggest win you've had in your coaching business the last
39:19
seven days.
39:20
What big is relative.
39:23
I don't care what big means to them.
39:25
It can mean someone answered my phone call, or it can mean I made a million dollars yesterday,
39:29
whatever big is.
39:30
And the last one is what was your biggest learned lesson?
39:32
Okay.
39:33
So transformation thrives in a community.
39:35
And the last part of transformation is transformation inspires transformation.
39:41
So if you are a coach that is on the fence, you need to engage with the right content, and you
39:47
need to engage with the right community to help you transform based on where you live you're
39:52
looking to grow to, not go to, but grow to faster.
39:56
Absolutely.
39:57
You need that because it is...
39:59
Regardless of what...
40:00
How much knowledge you have, it's lonely when you're starting starting off.
40:04
Right?
40:04
Especially that first one to three years.
40:06
It's
40:06
tough if you don't have that guidance.
40:09
And like you said, it made me...
40:10
I finally figured out a social media post that works, which may seem simple.
40:15
Yeah.
40:15
But you finally got something or you figured out your voice in a way that helps you connect
40:21
with people more, those types of things.
40:23
So I think definitely community is such a big thing.
40:26
And if you're sitting there alone,
40:27
here's
40:28
what we know.
40:28
And this is...
40:29
You can use this in whatever context you believe.
40:32
The enemy will come in fast and hard.
40:35
Right?
40:36
That limiting belief that that negative self talk will come in really fast.
40:42
You did a YouTube video, and you thought it was gonna be really good and four people watched
40:46
it.
40:46
You probably shouldn't do that again.
40:48
Right?
40:49
Or you did a
40:49
Don't turn on your computer tomorrow.
40:51
Yeah.
40:51
Or you did a post, and you had a call to action, and no one engaged with it.
40:55
Oh, you probably shouldn't do that tomorrow.
40:57
Right?
40:57
Right.
40:58
And those...
40:59
That is a real feeling.
41:01
Yeah.
41:02
That impostor syndrome will kick in real fast.
41:05
But here's the thing is you gotta realize if you are alone, it'll happen.
41:11
And the sad part is I've seen it so frequently.
41:14
When you're alone and you're not part of a community and the enemy comes in and and those
41:18
those thoughts come in, you'll start to believe them.
41:21
And when you start to believe them, and yet you feel called in this space, and you wanna stay
41:26
obedient to that calling, you'll leave it.
41:29
And then it's just...
41:31
Well, then you have to go get another quote, unquote, survivor job.
41:34
Right?
41:35
And and that's not wrong to have a survivor job.
41:37
But if you're going to have to go get a survivor job because you got defeated, that's
41:42
that's that's what I want to avoid with all the people out there who have so much to share and
41:47
give to so many people.
41:49
Well, I think community is such a key thing and having started my business about fourteen years
41:54
ago.
41:54
And I was in corporate.
41:56
Right?
41:56
You kinda have all the systems around you.
41:58
And then you're dropped down, and you're like, I have to do this myself.
42:02
Mhmm.
42:02
Yeah.
42:03
I have to do the marketing.
42:04
I have to do the sales.
42:05
I have to make the phone calls.
42:06
I have to tell the people aren't happy with It's like, woah.
42:09
It's it's a lot.
42:10
Right?
42:10
And so when you get...
42:11
And then when people...
42:12
And then you have a simple conversation with someone, like, oh, yeah.
42:15
Do this.
42:16
Don't do this.
42:16
Or consider this.
42:17
Don't do that.
42:17
Or don't go and hire people yet because you have no business hiring somebody yet...
42:22
Just yet.
42:23
Then start to have...
42:24
Because so many people have made so many mistakes ahead of you, and then you you heard a
42:28
comment.
42:28
You're like, oh my god.
42:29
I almost did blah.
42:30
And they go, oh, not yet.
42:32
So I I really appreciate what you're saying, and it's really saves a lot of mistakes that
42:37
you're in...
42:38
You're innocently making them, but they can be very, very costly.
42:41
And then in turn, you don't get the return.
42:43
And then, like you said, then you have to go and get a a survivor job to be able to just
42:47
kind of keep things afloat.
42:49
Well, Adam, this has been this has been an amazing conversation.
42:52
I think people have...
42:53
Will have gained a lot.
42:55
So I know you've you've shared a couple things.
42:58
But for anybody wanting to chat with you or reach out, I know you talked a little bit
43:02
about...
43:02
It's Adam R.
43:03
Roach?
43:04
That's correct.
43:04
Yep.
43:05
Yep.
43:05
There's a middle initial r in there.
43:07
Yep.
43:07
Ray.
43:08
That was Ray.
43:08
Yes.
43:09
Adam R.
43:09
Roach.
43:10
Okay.
43:10
And where else...
43:11
Like, you were saying there was a a blueprint that that...
43:14
That's free.
43:15
So if you wanted to let them know again or just where they can review.
43:18
Yeah.
43:18
You can do it all through my Instagram.
43:19
So if you go to my Instagram, Adam r Roach, and you DM me coach, you will get that guide, or
43:26
you can go to ilovecoachingco.com.
43:28
And it's...
43:29
There's a button that says start here, and that's where the guide is.
43:32
And and all of that lives freely for everybody.
43:36
And if anybody has any questions that come from your show, just have them DM me on Instagram,
43:41
and I...
43:42
It's me.
43:42
It's not a robot or it's not a mini chat.
43:44
It's me replying to you.
43:45
It's not a chatbot.
43:46
It's not a chatbot.
43:47
Nope.
43:47
It's me.
43:48
And and I'll be happy to answer any questions you have or run some ideas past me related to
43:55
your own coaching business.
43:56
I'm not here to sell anybody anything.
43:59
If anybody is interested in our community, we actually have a prequalification process.
44:05
And again, that's not because I don't believe in everybody.
44:09
It's because I made a commitment that I wouldn't take everybody.
44:13
And because our community is...
44:15
The environment is a very loving, caring, conducive environment for growth that I
44:22
protect.
44:22
Right?
44:22
We protect our culture.
44:24
And...
44:24
But I'm happy to have conversations within any of your listeners.
44:28
Awesome.
44:29
Thanks so much for your time.
44:30
So what am I work...
44:31
Walking away with?
44:32
I I talk a lot in my book on awareness, and I love the fact that with the WL pose.
44:40
Right?
44:40
Pose.
44:41
Yes.
44:41
Pose.
44:41
Right?
44:41
So to really even just think that through, even just working that through, it shows you that we
44:46
all need to drop down inwardly to figure out our space so that we can really, in whatever
44:52
capacity, whether you're a parent, whether you're a leader, whether you're a friend, to be
44:56
able to create the space to interact with people that much better.
44:59
If you're wanting to do it professionally, I would say definitely reach out to a community
45:04
like John's or reach out to somebody that you admire and and talk to them and see what their
45:10
path has been.
45:11
And for leaders thinking about coaches, just think about outcome.
45:14
I love the fact that Adam talked about outcome.
45:17
Don't think, oh, I heard so and so's name, and the the name seems to be floating around, the
45:21
coaching community.
45:23
What outcome are you looking for?
45:24
What in not doing something, what return are you staying away from?
45:29
Because you would not be able to actualize that that return because you got the right people to
45:35
create the shifts that are necessary based on the goals that you're trying to achieve.
45:39
Very true.
45:39
So for everyone, thanks again for hanging out with myself.
45:42
What's new?
45:43
The ROR master class and coaching is available and continues to run.
45:47
If you'd like some more information, please reach out to me at Roxanne@RoxanneDurharch.com.
45:52
Again, Adam, thanks a lot.
45:53
And for everybody, thanks for putting up with me week after week, and
45:57
talk to you soon.
45:58
Thanks,.
45:58
Bye bye.
46:00
Thanks for tuning in to Authentic Living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
46:06
healthy change.
46:07
Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach.
46:11
To work with Roxanne, visit roxannedurhaj.com/blueprint.
46:17
We'll see you next time on Authentic Living with Roxanne.