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Talking With YouTuber Matt of Effective Purpose on Men and Life Advice For Them | Fireside Chat 243 · Honey Badger Radio

0:00
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Honey Badger Radio. My name is Brian
0:03
and this is the fireside Chat and I am joined by a very special guest.
0:09
So a little bit of backstory. I was just kind of like surfing
0:12
around. I think it was my Facebook now that the shorts will come up
0:17
and sometimes you'll stop to look at a cute video of a dog or something.
0:21
I love dogs, and I happened to see no Jojo' not my dog
0:28
looked up like and I happen to see this short video from this this user.
0:37
I think it was called Effective Purpose and he was talking about men,
0:41
and that doesn't often come up in my social media like randomly, and so
0:45
I saw the video and I thought it was really good, even though it
0:48
was very short. And so I reached out and I am joined by Matt
0:53
of Effective Purpose. So welcome to the show. Matt. Hello, guys,
0:56
Yeah, thanks for having me. All right, So I guess the
1:00
first thing I want to do is ask you tell me a little bit about
1:04
what you do online. What is effective Purpose and why did you start this?
1:11
Yeah? I started this a couple of years ago just because I was
1:15
noticing that there wasn't a whole lot of resources for Christian men, in particular
1:22
for just how to solve problems. There's I mean, as I'm sure you
1:26
guys have discussed a lot on your own channels, there's a lot of stuff
1:32
that guys are facing. These are relatively new problems. I mean, it's
1:36
in human history, we've never really seen anything quite like this where men are
1:41
just sort of under attack in a lot of ways across the board. They're
1:44
behind, they're struggling, and it seems like society wants them to struggle it
1:53
and there just isn't a lot of resources for guys to approach those problems and
1:59
attack them and deal with them in a positive way. It came up for
2:04
me because I, you know, as a as a Christian, I grew
2:07
up in the church, and I, like a lot of guys, struggled
2:12
heavily, especially in the dating world. I struggled with mental health. You
2:16
know, I was just you know, trying to do life and finding that
2:20
it just wasn't working. A lot of stuff wasn't working. Career stuff wasn't
2:23
working. Dating life was going absolutely nowhere. Is just getting rejected left,
2:28
right and center and not understanding why. I just had no clue why this
2:32
stuff wasn't working, and you know, maybe over spiritualizing things a bit,
2:37
wondering, Oh no, is my faith just too terrible? Just God hate
2:40
me? You know what's going on here? Am I just you know,
2:43
doomed to fail for the rest of my life? Is it's just you know
2:46
what's going on? Until I got some help from a Christian counselor who is
2:53
much more practically minded than a lot of you know, the stuff that I've
2:58
been receiving before that point, and she kind of helped me work through and
3:02
exposed a lot of lies that I've believed about myself and my my lack of
3:07
you know, my my perceived helplessness in my situation, and that sent me
3:10
on this journey of like looking for resources, like, Okay, I have
3:15
agency. There's things that I can do to make my life better. There's
3:19
things that I can do to succeed in some of these areas that I've been
3:21
feeling. But it's going to take work, and it's going to take finding
3:23
some resources and looking for people who've done it before, looking for people who
3:28
solved those problems before. And I you know, I spent a few years
3:32
after that just looking through what ended up being probably what you know, you
3:37
guys are describes a lot of red pill resources, as you know, just
3:40
trying to figure out like, Okay, how do how do women operate?
3:45
Like how do they think? Like what what do they find desirable? And
3:47
why? Because that's not something that's ever discussed among Christian men. You just
3:52
sort of it's a giant question mark. There's just a blank space on the
3:55
board, Like the mystery is the point? Yeah, supposed to be there's
4:03
a little bit. Yeah, it's almost like in a way, and it's
4:06
not just Christian culture that does this, but Christian culture almost idealizes that sort
4:11
of mystery of women. They're just like this sacred angelic creature that's just like,
4:16
you know, sent down from heaven to bless you, and you're just
4:21
supposed to allow it to be this romantic mystery forever. But that didn't really
4:26
work. Like I wanted it to be that because that, to me felt
4:30
really romantic, and I thought that that would be romantically fulfilling for a woman
4:34
to just mysteriously decide that she was going to fall in love with me one
4:38
day. Sure, but that didn't happen, And like I went through a
4:42
lot of bad dating experiences where I thought that was going to happen, but
4:45
then she just you know, she left, and I didn't understand why.
4:47
I didn't understand that there was a lot of stuff that I could have been
4:50
doing that could have you know, prevented that, and stuff that I could
4:55
have been working on to build myself up and just in terms of you know,
4:58
making my own life a more positive place for me to you know,
5:01
exist. Yeah, I started finding a lot of resources and it was just
5:05
you know, I couldn't find any that were coming from people that I would
5:12
you know, I would trust as Christian sources, because it was either like
5:15
I had to go to secular sources who a lot of times would get the
5:18
data right and they'd get the information like correct, but a lot of the
5:24
stuff they said that I should do with that as far as like you know,
5:27
spinning plates and like, oh no, never have a long term relationship.
5:30
That's terrible. That stuff that I was just like, that's kind of
5:33
not workable from my worldview, and you know, and also I noticed that
5:38
it was laced with a lot of just bitterness and just and to me,
5:43
that was not I didn't view that as healthy for me, Like I don't
5:46
want to be a type of person who's just like focused on like what everyone
5:49
else is doing wrong and how how I'm so mad that they're wronging me.
5:55
I would much rather try to find solutions to the problems. And so I
6:00
just found that there weren't any There weren't any sources like that for Christian men.
6:02
So I was like, well, I might as well start something.
6:05
And so that's kind of where it began, and just sort of have been
6:09
fumbling through it and experimenting and you know, figuring some stuff out here and
6:14
there. How long have you been doing this for almost two years now?
6:17
About two years? Yeah, it's only recently started to get a little bit
6:24
more traction and attention because you know, you start out, you have no
6:28
idea what you're doing or how any of this stuff works or what anybody's looking
6:30
for. But yeah, yeah, yeah, and did you're okay, So
6:39
a little bit about your church? Does your church have a men's group?
6:42
Do you have like any and like, we do this stuff online, but
6:45
do you have any like in you know, flesh and blood people that you
6:50
talk to and and sort of coordinate things with. They do I've been you
6:56
know, I've gone to a few different churches over the last few years or
6:59
a couple, and there are some groups from men, but most of their
7:05
focus is on like Bible study and faith building stuff, which is good stuff
7:11
as far as I'm concerned, but they're largely still sort of I guess blind
7:16
would be the right way to say it. They're not sort of aware of
7:19
a lot of the specific practical problems that young men in particular are going through.
7:26
And so those groups exist, they do have. There are you know,
7:29
small groups, home groups, men's groups, that type of thing,
7:31
but they don't really focus on you know, Okay, let's get down to
7:35
brass tacks and fix some stuff and find some ways to get around with these
7:40
problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So
7:44
one of the video that particularly jumped out at me because I okay, So
7:51
for the people in the audience, By the way, if you guys have
7:55
a question or comment, please send us a super per chat or a direct
8:01
super child message to Feedbadgeler dot com so and you can just give us your
8:07
thoughts on this. I think that even though I am speaking to a man
8:11
who discusses things from a Christian perspective, there is a universal way to apply
8:16
these conversations. I mean, it's it's practical stuff at the end of the
8:20
day. And I don't think that that's you know, like the most relevant
8:22
thing. But because there are men of all different beliefs and ideologies, and
8:28
they're all looking for women, they're looking for partners, they're looking to you
8:33
know, get married and start a family. And I think that most of
8:35
the guys, you know, you were talking a little bit about this,
8:37
this kind of like undercurrent of bitterness, and I think it it is a
8:43
thing that I've seen as well. I think that the reason is because well
8:48
it's a reason. I don't want to speak for every example, but it's
8:52
because I think that most of these men did start off like thinking, you
8:56
know, I'm gonna get to a certain age, I'm gonna have a decent
9:00
job, I'm gonna find a good woman, I'm gonna fall in love with
9:03
her, I'm gonna marry her and in the start a family and that and
9:05
what their expectation turned out that, you know, it didn't shake out that
9:09
way. And and I think that a lot of them felt like lied to
9:16
yes, you know, and and so because I felt that yeah, yeah,
9:20
yeah, so yeah, we we understand that. And and there's a
9:24
couple of different angles there. So you know, we talk a little bit
9:30
about the social stuff, you know, and like we're all about like the
9:33
self help and the and the you know, building yourself up. But where
9:39
the rubber really hits the road is really in the legal issues. And those
9:43
are the things that I think are are a very a very real obstacle that
9:48
we have to confront. And this is the thing that I because you know,
9:52
we there is like you're not on Twitter, right probably, Yeah,
9:56
it's not not my favorite environment. Yeah, yeah, so they're well on
10:03
the internet everywhere. Really, there is like a large sort of debate going
10:07
on between traditionalists. I don't even like to say it that way because I
10:11
don't think it's it sounds like a category. I mean normal people, you
10:16
know, like like that in that one of normal you know, healthy marriage
10:20
and family. But a lot of them do have like religious background, so
10:24
we would call them, you know, trad cons or traditionalists and the kind
10:28
of more you know, red pill parts of the internet. And the argument
10:33
is about you know, whether or not a a man should you know be
10:39
essentially like trying to fight to get like his you know, be treated fairly
10:46
in courts and things like that, and like see if the laws can be
10:48
changed, see if policies can be observed, and and I think that all
10:52
of those things are real, you know, real dangers, and it's making
10:56
men more averse. And that sets aside, you know, the degree to
11:00
which women have been I can only call it propagandas to essentially see men as
11:07
competition, you know, see men as opponents on a battlefield and and not
11:13
as you know, essentially a complimentary person. Because men generally love women.
11:20
And I think even the guys in the Red Pill that are kind of angry,
11:22
they still love women. They want to love them, you know,
11:24
but they're frustrated. So I've noticed that exact same thing. Yeah, yeah,
11:28
yeah, so they what was so the video that I'm getting back to
11:31
the video, The thing that I thought was neat was that you were kind
11:35
of I wouldn't say calling them out, but you did see this kind of
11:39
sentiment coming from a lot of you know, I guess pastors or you know,
11:46
religious sort of spokesman saying to men essentially that they weren't essentially giving them
11:52
support. But it was more like, hey, you know, men up,
11:56
like you gotta you gotta wife up these women. You gotta deal with
11:58
it, you know, roll the dice, whatever it is. And I
12:01
think that you have correctly observed that, you know, that's not really it's
12:07
driving men away. Yea, you know what I mean. And so I
12:11
guess so, like there's any more you want to expand on that a little
12:15
bit for the people watching. Yeah, So, something that I've noticed in
12:20
the church right now, there's there's a few reasons. There's a bunch of
12:22
reasons. Actually we can get into about like why young men in particular are
12:26
leaving the church. But one of the biggest things that I've noticed is that
12:31
most Christian leaders are guys who are either gen xers, so they're in their
12:39
fifties or sixties, or they are older millennials, so late thirties, early
12:43
forties. Those are guys who at this point in their life, they completed
12:48
the dating process more than ten years ago, right for a lot of them,
12:52
it was back in the eighties or nineties, and for many of them
12:54
it wasn't any more recent than twenty fifteen. So they are they just they're
13:01
not aware of the changes that have happened in the dating world to them.
13:05
They still view it as this sort of they they still view it as an
13:11
equal playing field in a way that there's this sort of this balance between the
13:16
sexes, that there's this assumption that the average woman is going to be reasonably
13:22
attracted to the average man, and so, you know, the assumption then
13:28
that they work out from there is that, Okay, they see, they
13:31
do see that relationships aren't forming, but their assumption is that the bottleneck is
13:37
with the men. The popular narrative in the church right now says that that
13:43
horn is the major problem. So basically, though it's still it's kind of
13:48
still men's fault in a way exactly well, that that is the primary belief,
13:52
and that's where most of the teaching and instruction gets directed. Is the
13:58
assumption is that porn is causing men's standards for women to rise to a point
14:05
that real women can't reach, and so the guys just aren't interested in real
14:09
women anymore. And so that must accord, you know, according to the
14:13
logic of that narrative, that must be the reason why dating isn't happenings.
14:18
And so that's why you'll hear a lot of messages from Christian leaders saying,
14:20
hey, guys, you need to put that stuff aside and you need to
14:24
start pursuing real women. Basically, yeah, just man up, just do
14:26
it. Stop being a coward, you know that. That's another thing is
14:30
you'll hear this, the narrative that the guys are just they're soft, they're
14:33
too scared, they're they're just cowards, They're they're not brave enough. They
14:37
just need to step up and just be brave and just go, you know,
14:41
get told no a couple of times, and then then it'll be fine,
14:43
it'll work out. The problem is is that many of them, because
14:46
they completed the dating process before the major shifts in you know that have been
14:52
brought about by social media and dating apps and even just covid, the lockdown's
14:58
completely changed the land escape for dating to where now it's almost entirely online,
15:01
and that's just ubiquitous. They don't know the data. They don't know that
15:07
the average woman does not find the average man to be attractive. If the
15:13
average woman is, you know, actually pretty turned off by the average man,
15:16
most women are owning up quite a lot. Yeah, I was just
15:20
going to ask about women because it seems like and I it's this is the
15:26
thing that we've observed, after ten years of doing this, that in the
15:30
most well intentioned people I'm not talking about, you know, like the people
15:33
who like legitimately for whatever reason, have put men in a black category.
15:41
But even the most well intentioned people have a blind spot ye when it comes
15:45
to men's particular issues and women's I guess their behavior. They're there there,
15:54
it's more than just their standards, but there. But their standards are a
15:58
byproduct of that. And I was just gonna ask, like, well,
16:03
if men's standards are supposedly impacted by porn, which there could be some truth
16:08
to, but I think that even men who avoid that. You know,
16:12
I watched a video that was viral, and I want to show it to
16:17
you, but I don't think I can do it here without screwing up my
16:21
whole layout. But I watched this viral video of a man on the street,
16:26
one of those men on the street. He's got a microphone, yes,
16:29
asking questions. And you know, he's at this, like on the
16:33
streets at night in a city. Everyone there's a lot of young people,
16:37
you know, men and women. They they're all a little buzz they've been
16:40
partying whatever, and he's asking women you know, do we need men?
16:44
Do we need men? And then he's asking men, do we need women?
16:47
Do we need women? And the women, all of them in the
16:49
video. This could have been edited to like make, you know, to
16:52
show a specific point of view, It's possible, but I don't think that
16:56
this is really unrealistic. All the women in the video said we don't need
16:59
men and why would we need men other than to look at them or whatever.
17:03
And the men, when they were asked, they were like, oh,
17:06
yeah, absolutely, I love women, you know, like they and
17:08
you know so so and I'm when I saw it, I was like,
17:12
yeah, this this could be a bit slanted because it's edited and everything,
17:17
But I don't think this is really unrealistic because I have seen it with my
17:21
own eyes, you know, and I think that it's it's important that and
17:26
we've seen some data on this too, that it's important that we put in
17:30
perspective the fact that that women, you know, they do get like a
17:37
pretty unrealistic view on what they are their worth is. And it's true that
17:44
they should, you know, want a man that's going to be stable,
17:47
but I mean there are people who say that, you know, if the
17:48
man's not good enough, it's dangerous for them and all these other things.
17:52
But I think that it it is a bit. It is really like extreme.
17:59
Like women's standards are are very high, and I think that men that
18:03
can't meet them, we're gonna have a problem because I think that when you
18:10
know, you have videos also you have like in samples of women who are
18:15
in their thirties and they and they are still alone and they have you know,
18:18
put off family and relationship for career, and they're weeping because they don't
18:23
have kids, and you know, made this terrible mistake because they were sold
18:26
a bill of goods. They were also lied to. It's just that,
18:30
yeah, you know, these women learn this later and it's kind of late.
18:33
Yeah, too late in many cases. Yeah, I learned that.
18:37
I don't know if you know about the birth rates, but like aside from
18:41
their rates plummeting, yeah, yeah, in most in most, in most
18:48
instances, the high percentage of women not having children, it's not because you
18:53
know, they are infertile or waited too long or have some kind of medicition.
18:59
It's because because it just didn't happen, Like they're waiting and then there
19:03
was no man, like by that time, you know, the bailable men
19:07
weren't there or they didn't find one that they were willing to settle down with.
19:11
Yeah, so I think this is like the real issue. And when
19:15
men can't find women they become I think that could also be a problem.
19:18
They're idol, they're restless, they're angry. So this is definitely something that
19:23
you know, needs to be discussed, but it has to be done in
19:26
a way that I think men need to feel like like welcomed support. Yeah,
19:33
that's going to be difficult until we solve the problem of the power narrative,
19:40
because you have, I mean, you have the the standards issue,
19:44
which is that you know, most women have an extremely high expectation of what
19:48
they're going to get from a man. The other part of the problem is
19:52
the reason why these women are staying away from dating for so long and they're
19:56
you know, they're they're pursuing their career and all that that of goods that
20:00
they were sold. It all comes from the power dynamic narrative, which is
20:04
the idea that you can only be happy and you can only be valuable as
20:10
a person if you have power. You need to at the very least have
20:14
complete control and agency over your life. You can't be under anyone else's power
20:19
because if you and on the other side, if you're under someone else's power,
20:23
they are always automatically taking advantage of you. Because that's yeah, never
20:27
they're not doing it in your best interest right there. No, they're not
20:30
the wise king. They are the tyrant. Because power is the thing that
20:33
gives you value and it's the way that you're able to make good things happen
20:38
in your life. So if someone else has power over you, that means
20:41
they're using you for their value and their happiness. So it's always a taking
20:45
advantage of thing in a I mean what I would call like a biblical view
20:51
of relationship power dynamics. That was never the way that God set it up
20:56
like. That was not what he intended from the beginning. What he intended
21:00
was for us to to have authority based on responsibility. So if as a
21:07
man, God holds men primarily accountable for the outcome of the of the people
21:15
that he places under that man's care. So if you're the head of that
21:18
household and bad things happen on your watch, God holds you accountable. First,
21:22
it was like that all the way at the beginning, God even though
21:26
it was Eve the eight of the fruit, it was Adam who is primarily
21:30
held responsible for the first sin. And it's it's like that throughout scripture,
21:36
God holds men primarily accountable, and that appears to be why he gives them
21:41
primary that the buck stops here kind of authority because if you're if you're the
21:45
it doesn't it's it's not fair if you're the one that's like, hey,
21:48
a bad thing happened, but you didn't have any authority to be able to
21:52
stop that bad thing from happening. So it's this, So it's it you
21:56
have. You have. You're given authority as a man, A because you're
22:02
held accountable, and b because you're expected to use it for other people's benefit.
22:06
It's not for your own necessary it's not for your own worth. Your
22:12
value doesn't come from power or any ranking on any scale. It comes from
22:18
your identity as a child of God. And so you don't need power to
22:25
be happy. You don't need power to be fulfilled or for your life to
22:29
be meaningful. It's a tool that you use to bring about the best possible
22:34
outcomes for everybody in your sphere of influence. And until we get rid of
22:41
that narrative that says that you can't be happy unless you have power. Women
22:45
will always pursue power. Everyone will, men, men, men will try.
22:51
We're in the sort of catch up phase that we're trying to fight to
22:52
get it back, and it will just continue to be this pendulum that swings
22:56
back and forth as long as that narrative is there. Right, So,
23:00
just to expand a little bit on that, Adam and Eve so that people
23:06
understand, the thing about Adam and Eve is that they both screwed up.
23:08
So Eve obviously screwed up because she listened to the serpent and ate the fruit.
23:15
But Adam screwed up not only because he also partook, but because when
23:19
God approached and confronted them, Adam tried to pass the buck to eat.
23:22
Oh no, she was, She made me do it, right, So
23:26
this is the reason. But there is there is. This is the problem
23:30
with where we are now is that in in theory on paper, men are
23:40
supposed to be you know, the bookstops with them. They should have the
23:42
responsibility, but they can't have that without the authority. And where we are
23:48
now is that men don't have authority, but they are still yet right,
23:55
So they're still responsible and women are the opposite of that. Women have all
24:00
of the authority and they seem to have no responsibility, like we have no
24:03
no mechanism of accountability for women are at least not a social one where where
24:10
you know, like if a woman can decide to be a single mother,
24:14
she can decide to you know, be really promiscuous and all this other.
24:18
And we're supposed to not just not judge that, but we're supposed to celebrate
24:22
that. We're expected to. I mean, at least in the world outside
24:25
the church. I'm not speaking for that world, but I mean like the
24:29
secular world or whatever, the earthly realm, and that is I think.
24:36
And on top of that, women are they are free to use the government
24:44
as a weapon against men and anyone that stands in their way. And this
24:48
goes back to your statement about power, because I think that they have again
24:52
they've been fed this line that somehow men working jobs, no matter how dangerous,
25:00
no matter how hard they were, that was a privilege that women did
25:03
not get, even though men only did those things or women. Yeah,
25:10
you know, like if you you know, we built this modern society,
25:14
these buildings, electricity, running water, plumbing, et cetera, because men
25:18
were trying to provide the best and safest world for women. And you know,
25:25
right now, a lot of women, maybe most women, they don't
25:29
see that because they're too maybe too separated from it, you know, they're
25:33
working in air conditioned office jobs. And exactly. Yeah, it's a lot
25:37
more. Yeah, I still love that. Uh what's this Andrew Schultz joke
25:41
where he talks about, like, women, you timed your fight for equality
25:45
brilliantly, you know, five thousand years ago. They're like, oh,
25:49
you know, oh, there's lions and bears out there. Okay, well
25:53
just pick the berries, you guys, got that stuff. Then air conditioning
25:56
comes into offices. We want equality, you know exactly. That's actually is
26:02
a fair point. And I the most recent video that I put out,
26:06
I went through sort of that that more recent history of you know, just
26:11
what happened, what it was like pre industrial revolution, industrial revolution versus post
26:15
industrial revolution where at first, you know, well, for most of human
26:19
history, men and women work side by side. There wasn't really this power
26:22
dynamic struggle. You worked out on the farm and both of you worked otherwise
26:26
you didn't survive the winter. But once the industrial revolution hit. We started
26:33
sending men out of the home to go to the factory, of the shop,
26:36
the office, the you know, the mine, or wherever it was.
26:40
And we sent the men, like you were saying, because those jobs
26:42
were hard, they were dangerous, that you know, they were they were
26:45
uncomfortable, and we did that so that women didn't have to do that.
26:49
It was it wasn't a power play. It was a sacrifice, yes it
26:55
was. It got reinterpreted in the twentieth century to a power issue because I
27:02
think, I mean, people started to see that, oh, well,
27:03
if men are doing the jobs, they're the ones bringing home the money,
27:07
and the money is what gives them the leverage and the power. So that's
27:11
not fair. And since you know, we started to buy into that narrative
27:15
that you can only be happy if you have power, that's when it's the
27:19
message started to get out there that hey, women can only be happy if
27:23
they have jobs, because that means that's the only way for them to have
27:27
independence and autonomy and power. And now that's that narrative. It's why it's
27:33
going to be incredibly difficult to fight to get any laws changed in this regard
27:38
as long as that narrative is there. It's very easy for for the female
27:45
camp and those two and the men, you know, the white Knights and
27:48
the men who support them, it's very easy for them to paint this narrative
27:52
that says that, oh no, if we get rid of these laws that
27:56
you know, protect women, that that's regressive. You're sending women back to
28:00
a place where they're subjugated, and that's demeaning, and that's belittling, and
28:03
that is shameful. Right. They can use all types of really emotionally resonant
28:08
arguments to try to shoot those laws down, and that will continue to work
28:14
until we disconnect from this idea that power is what makes you happy. It's
28:18
not working, by the way, right, that whole idea that power makes
28:22
your life better. It's like once you actually have some you know, authority,
28:26
you realize it's actually it is a burden, right, it's a responsibility.
28:30
Like there's people that are depending on me, and their lives are going
28:34
to suck if I make the wrong choices. And that's yeah, unless you're
28:37
one of those people who doesn't care and you're okay with like, you know,
28:41
yeah, treating people like dirt because you want to taste of power.
28:45
Yeah, those those exist, and that's and yeah, I do everything I
28:51
can to encourage guys not to go that route. That's that's it's becoming that.
28:55
That's one of my concerns is that that's gonna be a part of this
28:59
sort of male back clash to this to the feminist movement, is that men
29:03
will become so embittered and frustrated that they just want to swing the pendulum all
29:07
the way to the other side. And they, you know, they become
29:11
in that in that sense, just like I don't care about anybody but myself
29:15
because nobody else cared about me. You know. It's this sort of like,
29:18
hey, you all hate me, fine, I'm gonna hate you right
29:22
back, and I'm just going to look out for me. Yeah. So
29:26
I I you know, I don't think that that's I don't think that's likely.
29:30
I don't know. I just see from what I see, and maybe
29:33
I'm just an optimist, but I think that, Uh, I'm clear,
29:37
I don't want that. That's I know you don't want that. I know
29:40
you don't want I do. I do see a lot of concern about like
29:44
that, the pendulum swinging too far the other way, and all I even
29:47
say to that is that, well, how did it get this far?
29:48
Like you know, like what why don't we address this so that that isn't
29:53
even on the radar? Like why why would I would ask you why would
29:57
we? Why would people wait until there is potentially a backlash, because this
30:03
is something that I've seen. You know, we've been doing this for ten
30:06
years. We've been talking about all of these issues, and it starts,
30:10
like you know, very early with but primarily I think the main issue is
30:17
fatherless and it I think that's like the main it's like the lynchpin that like
30:21
you know, is I think causes the most damage. Yeah, because we
30:27
you know, families need fathers, they need men to protect the family,
30:32
and and men really want to do this. This is why I don't know
30:34
that this is like likely to happen. I think men want It's like one
30:38
of those things where if a woman just said, you know what, I'm
30:41
sorry for what I've done, I love you, and the men would just
30:45
come right back, like it would be it would immediately melt away. But
30:48
would for most men, I would agree for most men, yeah, I
30:52
think absolutely, But I would I would ask where do you think that idea?
31:00
Uh that you know. Uh. Uh, this this idea of a
31:04
power paradigm that exists between men and women. Where do you think that came
31:08
from? Uh? That is well, it's it's it's a Marxist philosophy.
31:15
That's it's it started. I mean he frames it as a class issue.
31:18
You know, it's a the the it's a class struggle sort of. It's
31:23
been repackaged, which repackaged into a gender struggle. Yeah, it's And it's
31:29
the exact same arguments though. It's the idea that if if you're under someone
31:33
else's power and authority, they are always taking advantage of you. And if
31:37
someone else has power over you then you you know, then yeah, that
31:42
that's a bad thing if but you can't be actualized. You can't have a
31:48
good life yourself unless you seize the means of production or whatever, or you
31:52
know, take take back power from the patriarchy. It's it's all the same
31:56
thing. So it's been way more effective, yes, and strangely yes,
32:02
it doesn't work well. I guess it depends on what you mean by effective.
32:07
It has been effective in if you want to divide, if you want
32:12
to divide people, I think the gender patriarchy narrative has proven to be far
32:20
more effective at doing that than say, just the class struggle, because at
32:23
least in the in the States, you know, but I think probably all
32:28
over the West, working class people were glad to you know, that they
32:34
wanted to provide for their families because they had this kind of I guess you
32:37
could say Protestant work ethic that they were, you know, that they built
32:40
everything on. So you couldn't tell them we, actually, you're being taken
32:44
advantage by that rich guy. And this guy's like, well I have enough,
32:46
and so well that's not working. So we got to do this another
32:49
way. They said, well, why don't we just send We'll tell the
32:52
women that they're the ones that are being oppressed by their men. And that
32:57
actually happened in kind of a similar way. The feminist movement, at least
33:00
the second wave feminist movement, didn't have a lot of support for a long
33:05
time like it did it There were pockets, it began fairly early on that
33:10
that that push started fairly early on in the twentieth century. It didn't really
33:16
gain any ground until the mid twentieth century. Because most women were happy in
33:22
the places, reasonably happy, you know, relatively speaking, Yeah, I
33:25
know, I think it wasn't until yeah, as happy as men, I
33:29
mean, yeah, life wasn't easy for anyone, No, for most of
33:34
history, for most of history. Yeah, it wasn't until you had,
33:37
you know, a bunch of a movement come along and basically convince a bunch
33:40
of people who were happy, Hey, no, actually you're not happy,
33:45
and here's why you're not happy. It's because of all this, you know,
33:49
this stuff that's being done to you. You're you're actually this is demeaning
33:52
to you, this is belittling to you, this is you know, this
33:54
is a shameful place for you to be under the subjugation of a man like
33:59
that. It's like, you're happy right up until somebody tells you, hey,
34:04
you shouldn't be happy and here's why. And that's that was when the
34:07
shift started to happen. Yeah, And it's I think, speaking in generalities,
34:13
I think that is it is easier to plant that seed, like to
34:16
make them feel like because they're you know, they they tend to have higher
34:21
levels of you know, like negative emotion, and they you know, like
34:28
they're there. You can make them feel like there's something wrong when there isn't
34:31
if you like, if you talked them into it. It's kind of like
34:35
what you know again, it goes back to Adam and there, and there
34:38
are statistical models that say that this is no no, no, no,
34:43
yeah, our our our audience is smart, they know what I'm talking about.
34:47
But but yeah, I think I think that's right. I was.
34:52
I knew about the marxistuff. We talk about it a lot. You know,
34:55
there's a book I would recommend that you check out it because it is
35:00
written. There's lots of books on feminism history, but there is one that
35:06
I think is kind of up your alley. It's called a cult Feminism ritual.
35:08
He goes into because this is really old. Like, I think that
35:15
people often talk about the feminist movement, and I don't want to spend too
35:17
much time on feminism, but people talk about the feminist movement and they usually
35:22
discuss it either starting from the suffrage movement or the Second Wave or Glorious Steinem
35:29
in sixties. This goes way back to like the French Revolution, Heightenment,
35:35
like some of the early early proto feminist stuff. Mary Wolfson Craft. I
35:38
don't know if you know who she is, but you know, the first
35:42
feminist her daughter, Mary Shelley is the woman who wrote Frankenstein. Yeah,
35:45
and she you know, so there is a lot more to it, but
35:50
I would if you're interested, I would ask you to tear out that book.
35:53
Also, yeah, there's a woman that I that I absolutely adore.
35:58
Her name is Janie Fiamengo, and she has written extensively on the UH Literary
36:04
Professor. But she does a lot of reasons she can blow your mind with
36:09
She's learned about this. Okay, yeah, but okay, So, so
36:15
we have this issue, and I guess, you know, we're all trying
36:19
to figure out what to do. But I'm my main interest is in like,
36:23
how do we start to address this? There will be a lot of
36:27
suffering and I know that, you know, yeah, it's change won't come
36:30
before the suffering. But what what do you think about? Because you you're
36:40
critical of sort of like spiritual leaders and their approach. Have you spoken to
36:46
any have you tried to like reach out and say, you know, like
36:51
the world you grew up in is not I'm gen X, I'm fifty.
36:54
But I guess that's like at the tail end. Maybe I'm not really sure
36:58
how it works. I don't really, but I know, I'm in gen
37:00
xer, and you know it, it took a while for it to work
37:06
out for me, Like I was, you know, I had to like
37:08
I had basically had to get into the whole like red pill thing and doing
37:12
the men's issues. And then I met a woman through that, and you
37:15
know, because she was aware of these things, I think I had the
37:19
advantage. And I think in a way that's that could be a way to
37:23
sort of like bridge this gap because a woman who is open minded and learns
37:30
about these things and realizes, you know that that men want to be loved,
37:37
they want to be nurtured and cared for, just like just like a
37:40
woman does. I think that could be a way because you know, we
37:45
always say here on this channel that men leading, which is like what is
37:52
there usually told? You know, men just lead the way women will follow.
37:54
I don't think that's working out, And there's data that shows that men
37:59
and women are moving like the younger generations, I'm moving further apart, yeah
38:02
than ever. So what do you think about that? I mean as far
38:07
as like solutions and approaches to it or yeah, like I should women be
38:13
like should women have a part to play in this? There was even a
38:16
story of Orthodox pries Stuart talkin. He said that there are stories in the
38:24
Bible, and I'm using it as my reference point where men were unable to
38:30
lead, and so God chose women to do just for a little while.
38:35
I forget the saint, but there was there were some saints that were women
38:38
that had to like step up, you know, maybe like I don't know
38:42
if Joan of arc is an example, but yeah, in the Book of
38:45
Judges there's one called Deborah. Oh, I think that's it. I think
38:47
it's a Book of Judges. Yeah. So the deal with that was that
38:52
the yeah, the men wouldn't step up to lead the war party I guess
38:54
against I don't know if it was the Philistines or whatever, but basically that
38:59
was considered a shame full thing for the men, right. She even she
39:01
basically said, hey, one of y'all step up and do this, and
39:05
nobody did. And she's like, all right, fine, but then you're
39:07
gonna have to have it on your head that a woman led you into battle.
39:10
Right, So, but you know it's I yeah, I do think
39:15
that. I do think that the only way we can see real change in
39:20
this is if women participate in the change process. I don't know precisely what
39:24
that looks like. I know that the only in the church, women will
39:30
only make changes and adjustments if other women are speaking to them about it.
39:37
So no, this is everywhere. Yeah, well it's like women, uh,
39:42
they if they know that it's safe to, you know, to speak
39:45
up because someone else has started the process, like like you know, small
39:50
stones tumbling down a mountain, so that it creates a Yeah, yeah,
39:57
I think that's true everywhere. But go ahead, I'm sorry, Yeah,
40:00
it's it'll have to I mean, the problem is women won't address it until
40:07
men can somehow find a way to convince female leaders to address it because it
40:14
doesn't appear to be something that women are noticing or or or they're not coming
40:20
to sort of a realistic consensus on it on their own and so like.
40:27
But the problem is, like going back to what we were talking about before,
40:30
in the church or in a lot of places. Actually, most of
40:34
the older guys that I talked to, they just don't know, and so
40:37
they're not talking to the women of the church about it. They're not they're
40:43
not encouraging female leaders to speak to the younger girls about it. As far
40:47
as the stuff that that they that those leaders should be saying to women.
40:51
I think that, I mean, the biggest problems are going to be coming
40:53
from things like social media and dating apps. I think those are basically just
40:57
just get off of them, just just leave them. I think that I
41:00
think that more men are leaving eating apps all together. I believe that Generation
41:05
Z is you know, more interested in meeting in real life. Yeah,
41:09
previous generations, but I do think that there is And I don't know about
41:13
Alpha. They're a little too young right now. Yeah, it's tough to
41:15
tough to tell with that, but yeah, I think that that would be
41:17
a start. I think that addressing the power dynamic narrative. I think a
41:22
lot of older guys because they grew up with the sort of again I don't
41:30
want to get into feminism too much either, but like they grew up with
41:32
the sort of feminism guilt trip of like, hey y'all are oppressing us,
41:37
Hey y'all, are y'all shouldn't be like holding us back down? Yeah?
41:40
So yeah, they they a lot of the older guys, they to some
41:46
degree have bought into that, and so they you know, they they're very
41:51
sensitive about stepping on that sort of sore spot, and so they don't really
41:57
want they don't really want to take that head on. And so yeah,
42:01
there's there's gonna be some some difficulty in convincing some of the older leaders to
42:08
address it head on and speak about that power dynamic issue in a way that
42:14
reflects because it's as if they've sort of unwittingly bought into that premise that power.
42:21
They accidentally believe that power actually does make you more valuable, and they
42:27
speak as if that's true. I don't think they know that they're doing that,
42:30
but and you know, and I don't and to be clear, just
42:34
to just to to just to just in case it sounds like I'm being super
42:40
critical of like the church and and you know, my brother's and sisters in
42:45
Christ. Like it's not the church as an organization that I believe is like
42:49
a bad thing or that I'm criticizing. It's this sort of cultural miasma that's
42:54
sort of kind of I guess, blinding and kind of choking choking out some
43:00
of the truth in our in our mindset about it. And so I think
43:04
that it's going to take some time. It's going to take some effort,
43:07
and people speaking up before we start to get through and you know, get
43:12
realistic views. Yeah. Well, the church is full of human beings,
43:16
just like the rest of the world, so they're going to have the same
43:20
you know, flaws and foibles. We're constantly struggling to figure this all out.
43:24
So yeah, I mean I think that's right. You know, that's
43:29
that's a good point. I wonder if there is a way, like if
43:32
there are women's groups, and there could be a way to you know,
43:37
uh, start this conversation with women. I think that that would be That's
43:42
what. Well, that's kind of what we're doing, you know here we
43:45
uh like they're not not This is obviously not a religious channel. We don't
43:51
we don't talk about that, but but I think that there is some truth
43:55
to Maybe what is needed is a grand narrative. So when I I would
44:02
agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, So so I have on my Twitter,
44:06
and no, don't I don't recommend going to Twitter. It's cancerous,
44:08
but I like to. I like to argue, so I go there on
44:12
my Twitter. I made a post where I said, you know, one
44:16
of the problems with men, I think that even the audience can agree with
44:20
it. Okay, one of the problems facing young men today that not only
44:24
are they beaten down by all of this feminist rhetoric about patriarchy and how oppressive
44:30
they are and terrible and everything, but they're also told that women are the
44:35
best thing for them to strive to. So they're so they're to put it
44:40
in you know, other terms, they're they're basically treating women like an idol.
44:46
Yes, also an idol that abuses them. So you have men that
44:50
are trying, Yeah, you have men that are trying to gain favor with
44:54
this idol. And this is where the White Knights come from and the Simps
44:59
and everything else. Right, these women they're flawed, they have they have
45:01
all kinds of their own problems. They don't they're angry at their father,
45:06
they don't know him. They're not OnlyFans whatever it is. And so I
45:08
said, well, this can't be solved unless those men are pursuing a high,
45:15
something higher than women. Yes, right, and this is like,
45:19
I mean, we know what we're talking about here, but it has to
45:22
be some higher calling, something transcendent. And if they do that, I
45:25
think that would be better for them. That way, no matter how things
45:29
shake out, you know, they will be better able, because I think
45:31
one of the problems that men have now is that they're supposed to see women
45:37
as above them, and they're supposed to pursue that while also understanding that they
45:42
are like the cause of all of their suffering, the cause of all of
45:45
women's problems. Yeah, that's true. If that's true of men, it
45:50
must also be true of women. And that's the thing that I think is
45:54
really missing, Like what does it mean to be the ideal woman? What
46:00
is the transcendent female that has to be like modeled? Right? Yeah,
46:06
yeah, right now. It's it's as if like, as a man,
46:09
you're taught that you can't be happy without a woman, and as a woman
46:14
you're taught that you can't be happy without power. Neither of those things are
46:17
true, but that's what we're both striving for, and since neither of us
46:23
are really getting what we want in that sense, we're not really winning that
46:28
fight, you know. Most yeah, most guys aren't ending up with the
46:34
women that they're looking for, and most women are either not ending up with
46:38
the power they're hoping for. They realize that actually it's not giving it won't
46:42
make them happy the way they're expecting it. To or even if you know
46:46
you are a guy and you end up in that relationship you're looking for,
46:49
you end up realizing, oh, actually, this doesn't make me a whole
46:53
human being. I you know, I am not the most fulfilled thing ever.
46:58
You know, this is good, but it isn't like it isn't that
47:00
transcendent thing that you're talking about. And so I think, to go back
47:04
to what you're saying about narrative, I think one of the reasons why a
47:08
lot of the anti male movements that are out there right now have sort of
47:15
reached the heights that they have is because they found compelling narratives. And so
47:21
I would I do agree that, like, we do need to do some
47:23
work to try to get some of the laws changed, because I don't think
47:27
we'll be able to thrive as a society while laws are the way that they
47:30
are. I don't think men are going to get married. They're not going
47:32
to get married, they're not going to have kids as long as it's as
47:35
much of illegal liability as it is. However, I don't think it'll be
47:38
possible for us to change those laws until we first changed narrative, because those
47:43
laws are got there because of the super compelling narratives that people thought. It's
47:50
not a technical issue to most people. It's a story issue. So you
47:53
can put the data out there all you want about, like, this is
47:57
what's going on, this is where humanity is headed, this is what's what
48:00
you know, this is what is. But people aren't usually compelled by what
48:06
is. They're compelled by what could be or what they think should be.
48:09
They want emotion to it, they want to go somewhere right. They're looking
48:14
for that transcendent purpose, that thing that will you know, that thing that
48:17
will not only make their own life better, but that thing that will make
48:21
their life mean something like I did this for this cause, and this changed
48:25
the world. This saved humanity. That's why, you know. That's why
48:31
a lot of movements, like like feminism, in many progressive movements or even
48:36
you know, conservative movements, they gain a lot of traction with people,
48:39
and they gain rabid followers because it's not just about the thing. It's about
48:46
the meaning that that person gets from feeling like I'm doing something that's going to
48:51
save the next generation of humans and steer us towards a better future. That's
48:58
an incredibly meaningful thing. Envy and It's an incredibly powerful thing. The problem
49:02
is when you have a narrative that isn't based in reality. It's based in
49:07
a compelling narrative. It gives you that story that you're looking for. It
49:09
makes you feel like your life is valuable and meaningful, but in reality you're
49:15
sent you're actually tanking all of all of humanity. So yeah, I think
49:22
the only way that we'll be able to get out of this is to find
49:25
narratives that are both compelling and healthy. Yeah, I think the culture.
49:32
You know, what you're basically getting at in a way is the culture has
49:37
to change that there is like people are not motivated to change the laws because
49:42
they feel no sympathy for men's situation, and by extension, they have less
49:49
sympathy for families and children because you can't eliminate one thing and have it not
49:54
affect other things, you know, like the You can just look at how
50:00
what the conversation around family is today, what the conversation around climate is where
50:07
they say, oh, we're overpopulated, we should be having kids, or
50:10
you know, they talk about abortion like everything. I mean, at the
50:15
end of the day, every issue that people talk about comes back to men
50:19
and women, Like, all of it comes back to men and women.
50:22
So if you frame it outside of that, where people aren't paying attention to
50:25
the man and the woman at the center of everything, and they're talking about
50:29
the earth, and they're talking about material goods and you know, and capitalism
50:34
and all these other things, then you're distracted from this. This is what
50:37
matters, Like everything else comes from that. So I think that these promises,
50:44
you know, that people buy into, they are essentially material, you
50:50
know, like these things about power, all this stuff that you don't take
50:52
with you money, the new phones, the new clothes, whatever, And
50:58
I think that it would appear to me that women are more susceptible to those
51:01
things. You know, there was a joke that medians would always say that
51:08
if a man didn't have to buy a big house and have a decent car,
51:13
he would live in a cardboard box. But because he wants to attract
51:15
women, because he wants to draw women in, yeah, he has to
51:21
acquire you know, capital and land and everything else. So it makes sense
51:28
because women want to raise children in a safe and healthy environment. So these
51:31
are not you know, this is just what makes sense. So we have
51:36
inverted all of those things essentially, you know, we women now can buy
51:39
houses and they own stuff, and they get property, and they're looking for
51:43
men that can give them even more than what they have that is few and
51:47
far between. The men are not able to measure up to that. And
51:52
so we have this, we have this, you know, have the serious
51:55
problem. Now, yeah, we have the math problem. You have you
52:00
have a large percentage of women who have no interest in the vast majority of
52:05
men. So they they're effectively holding themselves out of the conversation. They won't
52:09
even interact with those guys. They don't those guys don't even invisible to them.
52:15
Yeah they're invisible. But then you have this, and so they're focused
52:19
on this tiny percentage of men. That tiny percentage of men does not need
52:22
to treat those women very well because they have all those options they will learn
52:25
to So women begin to view all men thinking that that's what they are.
52:31
And then you've got all these guys who just they get no attention from women
52:36
at all, and yeah, it's just relationships don't happen, you know,
52:39
because there's just there effectively, isn't a willing women out there for them,
52:45
and there isn't a woman that's willing to talk to them a lot of time,
52:49
let alone dates, and so yeah, it's yeah, it creates this
52:52
math problem that yeah, that's so yeah. And you know, and you
52:58
also you condition women to fear men, yes as well. So you know,
53:04
there's just so many compounding factors. But I think that because we're running
53:07
out of time, I had to go into the Patron show here in a
53:10
moment. But I think that ultimately, I think we're on the same page.
53:15
I think, you know, it's about Okay, so we have this
53:20
problem. We can't ignore it. It's not going to get better. And
53:22
simply bullying men into like you know, joining something or changing their ways or
53:28
stepping up it's not enough, right, So I'm like, yes, men
53:31
want to do those things. I think I think men want to you know,
53:36
have like a something to move towards something that they should be like,
53:42
you know, elevating themselves too. I don't think that women itself is high
53:46
enough. I think that's part of the problem. But I also think women
53:50
have to be a part of the solution. Yeah, it's just no other
53:52
way. And so if there's you know, female leadership or something, I
53:57
think that could be that could be a good art. Now, if you
54:00
know any women that are doing videos like you know or whatever, let me
54:07
know and I'll have them on. I don't know, we do see,
54:09
but I will say, just to put a little bit of a light at
54:14
the end of the tunnel, I have noticed that more and more people,
54:19
especially women, are speaking up more. I'm seeing this and they're and it's
54:22
getting to the point where it can't be ignored. Like everyone's talking about the
54:25
loneliness crisis, the male loneliness epidemic and so on, and you know,
54:30
we are like, yeah, we've been talking about that for ten years,
54:32
but I'm glad that you know, we're all we're all starting to like get
54:36
caught up because all these other things, they they're kind of a distraction,
54:39
you know, from from that. So Okay, you have any final thoughts
54:45
and then i'm' read a super chow and go to the Patment show. Yeah.
54:51
No, I think we've I mean, we've hit most of most of
54:53
the important stuff. I mean, I do see, Like, like you
54:57
were asking earlier, if you know, if I've talked to any of this
55:00
sort of Christian leaders that I've been you know that I've been referencing in those
55:04
videos and I have it at the churches that I go to. I talk
55:07
to them about this stuff, and they are a lot of times they they
55:13
accept it, like they receive it as sort of an oddity and go,
55:16
huh, I didn't know that. And some of them are attentive and they
55:22
listen and they're like, Okay, I can see how that would be a
55:24
problem. A lot of times they don't necessarily have any sense of urgency about
55:30
it. I suspect many of them will just sort of assume that if oh,
55:37
if we just you know, the problem is faith. You know,
55:39
it's a faith problem. If these guys would just step up and have a
55:43
better faith, that would just naturally solve all of their problems somehow. There's
55:49
not necessarily a mindset of like, hey, there's a novel problem here.
55:52
This is brand new and this is big and this is going to rip men
55:57
out of the church and we need those men, you know. But uh,
56:00
there's there's more of this mindset of it'll sort itself out if we if
56:05
we just keep doing what we've been doing and we just do it better,
56:07
you know, and so you just do it more right, And yeah,
56:10
that's that's really alienating to a lot of the young guys who are like,
56:14
no, this is not working, and what about yeah, and what about
56:17
all the men who are you know, they're not a part of the church,
56:23
they're just like, you don't know, like they're they're looking for help
56:28
and maybe that would be help, but they're they're skeptical. They're skeptical.
56:32
Yeah. Yeah, So like it's not going to draw them in if you
56:35
just say, you know, we're not going to solve your problems, but
56:38
no, you feel bad about it, you know, and so man,
56:42
it's going to run away. Yeah. So from that stuff to I mean
56:45
to the guys who are who are skeptical and little maybe concerned about that,
56:49
I would say there are a handful of churches out there that you can find
56:53
that will recognize these problems and that will be uh more willing to address.
57:00
The church that I go to is fairly solid with this stuff, you know.
57:02
It's it's a place where they actually there There aren't a lot of problems
57:07
between men and women in our community, to the point that like when I
57:10
bring it up to a lot of men, they theyre's like they're they're they're
57:14
so confused by it. They're like, huh, what there's all this stuff
57:17
going on out there in the world, like they have no idea because it's
57:22
actually a lot of these problems are so rare for us. So there are
57:25
some YEA give them in different worlds. Yeah, it's like you there.
57:30
So what I would say is, you know, I if you're if you're
57:34
on that like skeptical boat, I would say, I mean, maybe consider
57:39
it. I mean there are there are there are places out there where you
57:43
will be welcomed as a man, you will be encouraged as a man and
57:46
built up and and supported. And you know, they may not see all
57:52
of the problems right now, but hey, maybe you're the person that could
57:55
help them to recognize it and to address it more directly, because that's what
58:00
we need right now, as young men speaking up about it and letting the
58:02
leaders know, Hey, this is what's going on out there. We could
58:06
really use your guidance. And you're you know, whatever life wisdom that you've
58:10
acquired, you know, it's it's not a wisdom problem. A lot of
58:15
these leaders are very wise. They they're smart, They've got a lot of
58:19
life experience. It's just they don't have the right information in their brain.
58:22
A lot of time, So you know, maybe it could be you're the
58:24
person that brings it up to them and then you can access that wisdom and
58:28
guidance that they have. So yeah, I would say if you're discouraged,
58:31
you're skeptical about that, and you're looking for a place to go where you
58:35
can get built up and supported and encouraged, they're rare, but there are
58:39
churches out there that can that can offer that to you. So and to
58:44
any Christian leaders who happen to hear this, I you know, I really
58:47
hope that they internalize some of this and you know, at least do some
58:52
digging and see if maybe this is a topic that they might need to address
58:58
more directly. Right, Yeah, sounds good. Well, Matt, thanks
59:01
man, I got a super stick around. We're gonna do a patron show,
59:05
but I got a super child from Richard. Bieri gives us five dollars
59:12
and says one logistical problem with the women who are in leadership roles that they
59:15
spend as much or more effort in the battling over who the leaders should be
59:21
and the constant battle over just what agendas should be pursued, as there are
59:24
many who want a particular agenda, whether it works or not, because the
59:28
recognition of the agenda is tied to a particular woman. Mhm, thank you
59:36
for that. I think it's again speaking in in UH generality, I think
59:42
that when women are in positions of power, a lot of times they see
59:45
it as just that, and you know, it puts them in intersexual competition
59:52
women and also with men. It does create a you know, a different
59:58
dynamic, and I think I think that I think that's generally what Richard is
1:00:04
trying to say. So, but thank you for the message. Yeah,
1:00:07
any thoughts on that, Yeah, there's yeah, there's always going to be
1:00:12
that danger there that it's about. I mean, because there's another aspect of
1:00:15
it that we didn't really touch on too, which is just straight up pride,
1:00:19
you know, yes, and and attention seeking. I was gonna mention
1:00:22
that in the UH like later on, like that there is like a problem
1:00:25
of pride and and inglorious yeah, you know, in in women and in
1:00:32
men too. Just I think it's a problem across the board. But yeah,
1:00:39
yeah, humility is always going to be health like honest humility about yourself
1:00:44
is always going to be healthier than a pride mindset. So yes, right,
1:00:47
and then I got a rumble rant from Nova fan twenty one, who
1:00:51
games two dollars and says, I unfortunately believe that so long as the power
1:00:53
of belief exists for women and men, that he will be crumbled regardless of
1:00:59
I'd win. Well, O, the thing is that I don't think I
1:01:01
don't think men are trying to win. I think that, yes, we
1:01:07
just want peace, you know. Yes, we're playing not we're not playing
1:01:09
to win, and we're playing not to lose. Yeah, or more like,
1:01:13
I mean, if one side wins, we all lose. So yeah,
1:01:16
but all right, So we're gonna head into the Patron Show. So
1:01:22
if you guys want to join us in the Patron Show, you have to
1:01:24
become a member by going to feed the Batchel dot com and setting up a
1:01:28
month subscription. Five bucks a month will get you into the discord, where
1:01:30
you'll be able to watch all of the additional shows just like you're watching this
1:01:35
one right now, and hopefully we will see you there. And if you
1:01:38
give it higher levels, you can even join in the Zoom call and talk
1:01:42
to Matt yourself in person live, which is super exciting. So I want
1:01:47
to thank no I'm excited. I want to thank you man so much for
1:01:52
coming on on such short notice. I really appreciate what you're doing. I
1:01:57
think that you know this, this problem has to be tackled with as many
1:02:01
people from as many different backgrounds as possible, because we all want we all
1:02:07
want the same thing, right, So thank you so much for joining me
1:02:10
on the show. Yep, thanks for having me. Sure and if you
1:02:14
guys, we're gonna head out now. So if you like this video,
1:02:16
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1:02:20
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1:02:22
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1:02:27
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1:02:31
and YouTube right mostly YouTube, Yeah, mostly YouTube. Check it check out
1:02:36
on YouTube's plea. Check out on the YouTube. It's a small channel.
1:02:38
You're probably gonna blow up now. By the way, we have this thing
1:02:42
where when people come on our show, they blow up later. It's not
1:02:45
us, we never blow up, but like everybody else, does you know,
1:02:49
we're like check We're like Saint Christopher. We just carry you across the
1:02:52
river and then you just blow up after that. So awesome. So anyway,
1:02:59
yeah, check out his late the description and please please please share this
1:03:01
video because sharing is caring. Thanks so much for coming on today's episode of
1:03:05
The Fireside Chat. We'll talk to you all in the next one.