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They Are Going To Ruin Christmas! Preparing For The Holidays With a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  Christmas with a narcissist. That's what we talked about
• 0:04
  today. Y'all preparing for Christmas
• 0:06
  for holiday season? Tis the season to be jolly.
• 0:11
  Unless you a narcissistic person, right?
• 0:13
  Of course. If you're new here, I'm Lee
• 0:14
  Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
• 0:16
  welcome to the Christmas edition of The Narcissist called What a
• 0:19
  Christmas. Boom, welcome back folks,
• 0:37
  welcome back, welcome back. Yes y'all, Christmas time is in
• 0:42
  the air. Oh yeah girl.
• 0:45
  No seriously man, Christmas. I know I'm joking, I'm laughing
• 0:49
  and right now. But y'all know, if you've dealt
• 0:52
  with a narcissist or a toxic person, you absolutely know and
• 0:54
  you absolutely understand that Christmas is it's going to be
• 0:58
  tough with the narcissist with most with most narcissist.
• 1:00
  Let's get this part out the way right here.
• 1:02
  Not every single narcissist will ruin Christmas, right?
• 1:07
  There are some narcissists out there that absolutely positively
• 1:10
  will have a great Christmas with you.
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  And guess what? This might be the only day of
• 1:16
  the year that you get a good time for them.
• 1:17
  You get a good holiday for them, right?
• 1:20
  That's the that's on the minimal side.
• 1:23
  This doesn't happen very often, right?
• 1:25
  So not every narcissist is going to ruin Christmas.
• 1:28
  Sometimes this is the most wonderful time of the year for
• 1:31
  them too, right? Because not only do they get to
• 1:36
  like give you gifts, they get to put on a show for everybody.
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  If y'all have company, if you have guests, if you have people
• 1:41
  coming over or whatever the case may be, that narcissistic person
• 1:43
  in your life gets to put on a damn show.
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  They absolutely do. They get to have people coming
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  around showing like a party, showing the guests, whatever,
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  being the happy go lucky camper that they are.
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  And this guess what? When they're on their best
• 1:58
  behavior, you're looking at them like this.
• 2:00
  Yo lip is quivering. You are angry as hell because
• 2:04
  you know that they're just putting on an act.
• 2:07
  You know what they're doing. This is not this is not out of
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  the this is not something new for you because you've been with
• 2:13
  them a while and you've seen how they just turn it turn on the
• 2:16
  jolly good, the jolly good elf mood right here at the at this
• 2:20
  time of the year and 360 four other days.
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  They are literally, literally, literally the Grinch.
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  The Grinch, right? This is literally who they are.
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  This is literally who they become.
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  They are the Grinch in your life.
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  They are. And because they they're nice
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  one day of the year, it doesn't make up for everything they've
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  done the pre the rest of the year.
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  It just does not if they're good to you on Christmas and bad to
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  you the rest of the year. Y'all?
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  This is how it's going to be. Seriously, this is the crux of
• 2:51
  it all. This is how it's going to be,
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  and I hate to tell people that because it sucks, because y'all
• 2:55
  live it. You're dealing with it.
• 2:57
  You're living with it right now. You're dealing with it right
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  now. This is the person that you are
• 3:00
  married to or engaged to or whatever, or you have kids with.
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  You're just living with, you're cohabitating with.
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  This is your parent. Imagine your parent being the
• 3:07
  type of person that only acts good one day out of the year.
• 3:10
  That's crazy and I hate y'all sidebar.
• 3:16
  I hate the fact that there's so many of people, so many people
• 3:19
  out here who have to grow up with a narcissistic parent right
• 3:22
  around this time of the year. What?
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  They cause holiday trauma. They traumatize you around this
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  time of the year. So sometimes when you grow up,
• 3:30
  you look narcissistic because you don't like the holidays.
• 3:33
  You retreat, you get away from people, you go do things on your
• 3:36
  own and people look at you like you're weird because you don't
• 3:38
  like the holidays. Because they don't know what you
• 3:40
  went through. They don't know what you've been
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  through in your childhood. They don't know what your
• 3:43
  parents did to you or put you through.
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  They don't know that type of stuff, but guess what?
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  They acted. They just don't.
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  And it sucks, man. It really sucks.
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  And it's just like, I really hate it.
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  So many people have to go through that.
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  Not everybody deserves to have children, especially the evil
• 3:56
  bastards out there that traumatize you and make you
• 3:59
  spend. They make you spend so much of
• 4:01
  your adulthood working through and dealing with, dealing with
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  the trauma that they cause you in your childhood.
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  That is a common theme when you're dealing with
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  narcissistic, toxic ass people. Right?
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  Sidebar over Seriously, man, like those narcissists are not
• 4:22
  going to be good around the holidays.
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  They they just are not. I got I got the part out of the
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  way of the good holiday narcissist.
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  But now let's talk about the, the regular run-of-the-mill
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  narcissist because around this time of the year, they're going
• 4:34
  to get evil as hell. Around this time of the year,
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  they're going to be, it's going to be tough as hell to be around
• 4:40
  somebody with such negative energy.
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  And I did a short video on this right here.
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  But most times when you're dealing with a narcissist, most
• 4:47
  times they don't like think about like this.
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  Most times when you're dealing with a narcissistic person, like
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  they really in their minds just they don't start being bad the
• 4:59
  day before Christmas. They don't start being bad the
• 5:02
  week before Christmas. They start being bad and acting
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  reclusive and be give you the silent treatment and starting
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  arguments out of nowhere. They start doing it well before
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  Christmas. Sometimes they started doing,
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  yeah, sometimes they start doing Thanksgiving like they started a
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  bad mood, the word energy around Thanksgiving.
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  And now you got to navigate this type of shit for a whole month.
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  You got to navigate it for a whole entire month, dealing with
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  this person, dealing with this theme, dealing with this scheme.
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  And I hate that for you because it sucks so badly that you're
• 5:32
  just trying to live your life and show love and appreciation
• 5:35
  and affection to people around you.
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  And you have to deal with this person because it, like I said,
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  imagine you yourself have been traumatized through through the
• 5:43
  holidays and you're trying to start a new tradition with your
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  family where the holidays are bright, fun, cheerful time, but
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  then at the end of the day, they end up being evil as hell to you
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  and stuff like that. You see what I'm saying?
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  They traumatize you like you're trying to literally rewrite
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  your, your, your, your family history and have a good
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  Christmas and have a good holiday season, but you married
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  or got a got a partner with you're, you're in a relationship
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  with or engaged to a toxic bastard that is the doing the
• 6:10
  exact opposite. They're ruining the holidays.
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  They're taking away the Christmas spirit.
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  They're literally being the damn Grinch.
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  A different version of the Grinch, but the Grinch
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  nonetheless. And this is what continuously
• 6:21
  happens to people like this. They don't get better over time.
• 6:24
  You know, I think people sometimes like, well, they just,
• 6:26
  they'll just grow out of it. Yeah.
• 6:28
  You're dealing with a 45 year old person.
• 6:30
  How much longer do you want to give this person to grow out of
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  it? You get you had 25 years and
• 6:34
  they were high school sweethearts.
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  How much longer you think, how much longer do you think it
• 6:38
  takes to grow out of this? How much more time do you, are
• 6:43
  you willing to give this type of person, huh?
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  Because they will waste an ungodly amount of your time if
• 6:49
  they're allowed to and they don't care, y'all.
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  They don't care as long as they're getting their needs met.
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  They don't care about about how you feel during the holidays.
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  They do not care as long as they're getting every single one
• 7:00
  of their needs met and they feel good and they, like I said,
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  they're not there. There's no accountability being
• 7:05
  hit. Half of them.
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  They're going to keep doing the same things over and over and
• 7:09
  over again because why wouldn't they?
• 7:12
  If they feel like it's a benefit to be horrible, they're going to
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  keep being horrible. And I know that sounds trivial.
• 7:17
  I know that sounds stupid, but that's the mentality of a
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  narcissist. If I'm bad, why don't you leave?
• 7:23
  And the crazy thing is, this is what happens right here.
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  This is seriously, this is the time of the year right here
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  where they just feel the worst because round let me put my
• 7:32
  narcissist hat on right? Matter of fact, I got actually,
• 7:34
  I actually got a narcissist hat now.
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  Y'all give me a second. I'm gonna put this narcissist
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  hat on for you right here, right now.
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  It is narcissist had acquired. I actually tear my camera out a
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  little bit too, so the angle might be a little different.
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  This section. Yeah, my battery died too, so
• 7:50
  perfect time. But yeah, yeah, narcissist like
• 7:53
  during this time of the year. Well, my narcissist had all
• 7:55
  right. I feel inadequate.
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  I feel like I might also. I too might also have some
• 8:02
  holiday trauma, so I don't necessarily like the holidays.
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  I hate the holiday season this time of the year.
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  This reminds me of all the bad times that I had in childhood,
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  all the times that I didn't get what I wanted or I did get what
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  I wanted and it didn't make me happy, right?
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  I get, like I said, I got everything that I wanted, but it
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  didn't make me happy. I thought things, I thought
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  physical things would make me happy, but that's not the case.
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  Y'all know that if you, you've lived a life, you know exactly
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  that, that that's not it. Physical things don't make
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  people happy like that. And especially like, it's
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  because if you're not happy internally, nothing, no one
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  gives you externally will make you happy.
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  Nothing nobody does for you will make you happy.
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  If you're internally unhappy, nothing anybody does for you is
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  going to make you any happier. That's just the way it goes.
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  That's just the way it is out of the Tupac.
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  You know, and I say that, I say that to say this like because
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  I've been in psych, you know, I've been in psychotherapy for
• 8:58
  the last eight years, right? Over 8 years.
• 9:00
  We're going into the year. Yeah, we're going into year 9 of
• 9:02
  therapy. I've been in psychotherapy for
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  nearly nine years, right? And I've been able to push aside
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  the things that used to make my life hard so that I can
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  absolutely I can actually step into enjoying the Christmas
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  season, right? Most narcissists can't do that.
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  They don't want to do that, right?
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  It's too difficult. It's too tough to put it too
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  too. It's too tough to put away the
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  things of your past in order to try to enjoy the things of your
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  future. Like it is extremely too tough.
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  So most people would just rather be disruptive and dismissive.
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  And maybe maybe they'll apologize the day after
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  Christmas or maybe they won't. Maybe they just try to go back
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  and act like nothing happened. They try to go back and pretend
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  like they didn't do anything wrong or you're just
• 9:44
  overreacting or that they were just joking.
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  And you could you don't know how to take a joke.
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  There's so many different ways that this could go, right?
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  There's so many different ways that this could go.
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  And as you continue to move forward, you have to understand
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  it. Like you have to choose the way
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  that benefits you the most. Like I tell you, like if you
• 10:02
  want to, if you really want to hurt an Arthur's, this is the
• 10:04
  time of year to break up with him, right?
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  If you really want to hurt a narcissist or do some damage to
• 10:08
  them, this would be the perfect time of the year to do that.
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  The perfect time of the year to break their damn hearts.
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  It just, yeah, it just literally would the perfect time of the
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  year because they are, because they are dead set on doing
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  things to you. So if you want to break up with
• 10:26
  them and just cause causing the most pain and hurt them the
• 10:28
  most, yeah, this would be the time of the year to leave them
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  because they're dead set. Like they're already so a lot, a
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  lot of emotional turmoil and things going on inside of their
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  minds. So that would do them that.
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  Then they might do them in right there, right?
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  I'm not saying when I say do them in, I don't mean it'll make
• 10:43
  them harm themselves or something like that, but you got
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  to look at it from that angle right there.
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  There are a lot of toxic narcissistic people out here.
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  They just live to ruin this time of the year.
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  They just get a high off of it. Some of them get a high like
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  their, like their Christmas cheer comes from your Christmas
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  sadness comes from your Christmas year, right?
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  Like you're unhappy, you're sad. They are just smirking and
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  smiling because they successfully try to ruin your
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  holidays. Now, if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist during this time of the year, yeah, yeah, you
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  already know who you're dealing with.
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  You already know. You already know they're going
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  to give you the silent treatment.
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  Don't force them to try to talk to you.
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  Don't try to get don't try to include them in anything.
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  Well, leave. I don't include them in
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  anything. They get mad anyway.
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  They get mad if I don't. They get mad if I do do is catch
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  22. Damn.
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  You're damned if you do. You're damned if you don't.
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  Choose the damned that you can live with.
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  Choose the damned that at least you get some peace from, right?
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  Because if I invite you to do something and you just become
• 11:35
  dismissive and disruptive, you try to ruin my stuff.
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  I'm not going to invite you to do stuff.
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  Hell no. You just give me the silent
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  treatment. Be quiet.
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  We're going to. I'm going to enjoy the silence,
• 11:44
  right? I got a damn near.
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  I got to train the kids to avoid you or to dance around you
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  during this time, this time of the year because you're a sick,
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  evil bastard. You don't want to talk and be
• 11:52
  disruptive and dismissive. That's crazy, man.
• 11:55
  That really is crazy. ANYWAYS, y'all hope y'all
• 11:58
  hopefully this year will be different for y'all for
• 12:00
  Christmas. Hope not, not for the narcissist
• 12:03
  changing, but for you just handling it differently.
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  You being prepared, you understanding that this person
• 12:07
  is not going to be different than last year.
• 12:09
  You know, because that helps release it.
• 12:11
  You can dedicate more energy to your family, to your friends, to
• 12:15
  your children, whoever right? As opposed to trying to give
• 12:17
  this person energy that they don't deserve.
• 12:20
  Hit the subscribe button y'all. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy
• 12:22
  New Year y'all and I'm out. Peace.