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Trust Issues – How They Form & How to Fix Them · The Road Doc Podcast

• 0:03
  Hello people, welcome back to the Road Talk broadcast.
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  This is season 6 episode 4. Today we are talking something
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  about that quietly, you know, distrust relationship between
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  people that even realize what's actually happening, right?
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  Trust issues that fear that says what hurts?
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  What if they hurt me? Like what if they leave me?
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  What if I open and they and then I regret about it about them.
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  And the tricky part is sometimes trust issues are not a paranoia.
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  Sometimes they are just learnt survival responses.
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  So with no further ado, let's unpack everything.
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  Welcome, welcome back. Alright, let's talk about what
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  are trust issues really, right Rush Rish tools are not simply
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  being such pieces or anything. They are like repeated emotional
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  patterns where your mind struggles to feel safe with
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  vulnerability, Isn't it? That is the actual thing you
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  know. Mostly.
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  It can look like many things, like constant over thinking,
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  like checking messages repeatedly, reading hidden
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  meaning in every single actions like difficulty opening up
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  emotionally, expecting disappointment, needing
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  reassurance, constantly testing people instead of trusting them.
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  That person may be genuinely want some love or pure
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  admission, whatever you call it. But then our system expects,
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  always expects kind of a danger kind of a situation because they
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  were gone through that kind of similar situations before in the
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  past. All these things, you know, they
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  do really come up as like trust issues.
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  So it is not just in relationships, it is also in
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  families, friendships, whatever you name it, business, just you
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  can correlate with wherever you are in your life right now.
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  So based on that, you will understand it does not exist at
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  every step of our life and everyone goes through that.
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  So shall we talk about how trust issues usually form?
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  Like you just say like betrayal, like cheating, lying, my
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  personal favorite, manipulation, broken promises.
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  Like for example, one painful vitriol can make brains as like
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  you should never do this again. Kind of a situation like
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  everyone of us being there. It's might have experienced one
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  of these things I said earlier, right?
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  Like cheating kind of a thing. It can be anything, lying,
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  manipulation, broken promises, and so on and so forth.
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  This is pretty common as well. So unfortunately it is what it
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  is. And secondly, childhood
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  environment, if affection was inconsistent, if caregivers were
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  unpredictable, if love felt conditional, then your brain
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  have already learned like safety is kind of uncertain.
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  So we cannot trust. So on South, most of the people,
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  they do not even trust their own family members in many, many
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  circumstances based on their experiences and so on, which is
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  also alarmingly high these days as well.
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  Yeah. So we will move on to the next
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  one about men. People living emotionally or
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  physically can create kind of a deep fear.
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  Even stable relationships can trigger what you blink.
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  This ends, right? Something just began.
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  Something will end no matter what.
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  And this kind of a question mark things in your mind can create
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  fear which can naturally trigger all these things.
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  And then repeated disappointment, like not one
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  major betrayal, just smaller, smaller disappointments
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  overtime, right? So they can really create a
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  pattern. And then their brain actually
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  goes like every single time it is gonna be like, OK, another
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  major bit trial is gonna be there or another disappointment
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  is gonna be there, or so on and so forth.
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  Like the moment your brain is in flight of high form, it is
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  always going to be your additions going to come from
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  fear, not from clarity. Which means your sympathetic
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  nano system kicked in already. So you can do much.
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  So until the parasympathetic takes over and it we cannot
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  actually manually turn it on or turn it off.
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  So it's going to happen, unfortunately.
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  So yeah. So anyways, let's move on to
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  self trust damage. This one is pretty much
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  overlooked. Like sometimes trust issues
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  aren't even about others. They come from not trusting our
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  own judgment. Like for example, you are having
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  a conversation with any of your friend and they are continuously
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  talking something and you do not feel that so great conversation
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  or great things that all are good things.
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  All you see is like something is wrong, something is wrong,
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  something is wrong and you, you do not even trust your own
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  intuition. Then Allah here we are.
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  So shall we move on and talk about how trust issues damage
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  relationships usually trust issues most often create the
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  exact same thing people fear, like the fear factor.
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  I'll give you examples, right? Pushing away healthy partners
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  because of fear of like in the past they had some unhealthy
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  partners or interrelationships and so on and so forth.
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  So they just the ranges thing like this is also unhealthy.
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  Starting arguments, unnecessarily, emotional
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  withdrawal, constant validation, seeking, becoming controlling
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  like becoming hyper vigilance. Fear creates kind of behavior.
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  Behavior creates tension. Tension creates basically
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  distance. This is what actually happening
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  in modern days as well, pretty much, if you observe it
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  properly. Fear takes over for almost
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  everything so far, whether you like it or not, because
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  ultimately that is what everybody is doing.
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  Once the fear gets created or generated, that fear based
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  pattern is gonna be a very different and the decisions or
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  your intuition and everything that comes through that is gonna
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  be also a pretty different thing, right?
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  Yeah, mostly it leads to bad things actually.
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  So yeah, there you go. Let us move on to how to fix
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  this trust issues. Number one, you have to identify
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  the source. Ask yourself like, is this
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  situation or person or whatever it might be really unsafe or
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  this is just my past speaking or what is it?
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  You have to sit with yourself and really think through about
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  that. Number 2, separate facts from
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  fear. They didn't reflect quickly or
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  they must be losing interest. It might be even busy also, we
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  don't know. So until you have the facts
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  checked, do not rush into a fear factor because the moment the
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  fear factor takes over, fear takes over.
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  That's it, your judgment collapse.
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  That's the truth. Rebuild self trust, right?
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  Trust is solved to handle outcomes because confidence
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  reduces fear naturally. That is the reason why most
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  people even try to fake confidence, because at least
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  they can control their own emotion.
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  Sometimes it does help, and it should.
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  If you are. If you are trying to do
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  something good or if you are trying to overcome your own
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  fears, then yeah, sure #4 communicate honestly.
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  Instead of, you know, accusing or instead of beating around the
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  Bush, you can just have like, healthy, vulnerable
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  conversation. In long run, it will build
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  connections to your partner, relationships, whatever
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  friendships, whatever it may be. And yeah, that's the key.
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  And that's very hard to do it in real life.
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  I do get your point, but it's better to be vulnerable
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  sometimes so that can create more trust #5 watch consistency,
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  not the fake promises. Because trust is built through
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  repeated behavior, not just like some fake promises.
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  Because we have heard all these things in our friendships,
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  relationships, family relationships, relatives, so on
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  and so forth. They will tell so much nonsense,
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  but their repeated behavior tells something else.
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  So keep and watch on that. Number six, this is the most
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  important thing. You need to keep an eye on it.
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  After following all these you still did not come to any sort
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  of conclusion or you still not able to push through that then
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  definitely I will suggest you to get a professional help if the
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  patterns are really really cheap.
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  Sometimes the trust issues comes from trauma, not just from
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  simple insecurity. Alright this is very serious
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  guys. I know most of my audience are
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  male percentage is very high, females are also there which I
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  would like to thank both of them and other generals also.
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  But my point is especially for guys, they are very bad at
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  communication, very bad. Like if they have something like
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  trust issues with whatever and so on and so forth, they don't
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  share with anyone because the society in general made the
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  stigma that if you talk about your feelings you are weak and
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  in such situations or something like even if you are in that
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  environment, I highly suggest you rather sharing with any
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  other person or your friends seek professional help.
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  You might lose some money, sure, but it will definitely help you
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  to regain yourself from that. And I think that is very
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  important out of all and very much practical help.
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  But you need to keep an eye that you need to get a good doctor
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  for that. You know, a psychologist or a
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  therapist might help you, but you need to check their
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  reputation and also how well they are doing.
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  Otherwise you would end up going to different therapists or
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  different psychologists or whatever.
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  And then you might feel like you betrayed, you got betrayed by
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  those doctors again. So in order to eradicate that, I
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  highly suggest you to do your research and then definitely go
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  ahead with that. All right.
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  And the last one, OK, the very important thing is balance.
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  Not every, you know, trust concern is irrational, but
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  sometimes intuition really notices are real patterns.
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  The goal is actually not to blindly trust everything.
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  The goal is to have like healthy discernment, right?
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  Because trust is very risky, guys.
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  Very risky these days, to be honest.
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  You cannot trust your own people.
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  Yeah, that's the world we are living in.
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  You cannot trust, forget about relationships and all those
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  things. You cannot trust your own family
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  members, your own relatives, or your own close friends anymore
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  because the world became so bad that if the closest people in
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  your circle, if they know that you are growing in life instead
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  of appreciating or having a positive look towards that, that
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  they are the people actively pulling you down.
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  So which tells us one thing, that even our closest people are
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  not really our closest people. So I know it's really, really
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  hard to trust anyone in that matter.
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  So if you're someone like that, then definitely if you trust
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  universe, God, nature or anything, then definitely trust
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  that and trust yourself more than trusting any other person
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  on this planet. That's what I can tell.
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  I know you sometimes it sounds like that bad in reality, that's
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  what we are seeing every single day in clinics, hospitals,
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  because the trauma is actually coming from the loud ones, not
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  from the strangers. The percentage of the trauma
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  that coming from the outside people are very less than the
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  coming from our own people. So be careful while sharing good
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  news, a good things and so on and so forth because trust is
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  the riskiest thing. Like you can lose money, you can
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  get money again after some time, you can go broke and you can
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  rebuild yourself after some time and you can achieve your goals
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  or you can come back. But if you trust the wrong
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  person and then that person betrays you, that's going to
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  take a lot of time to come out of.
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  I guarantee that I know many of the people are going through,
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  especially men out there. Be careful woman to be careful
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  out there. Do not trust anyone blindly
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  these days, especially with the social media and everything.
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  This is the most messed up guys. People are trusting influencers
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  and all these people like I don't know how you are doing it,
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  but be careful. That's all I can tell.
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  Yeah, I'm not against anyone or anything, and all I'm saying is
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  just use your brain, use your senses, use your intuition and
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  make a judgmental call rather than just believing everything
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  that they are seeing. I will give an example why I am
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  saying that because for example, I have this iPad, right?
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  I have this iPad from 2020, right?
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  This is the second generation iPad second generation iPad pro
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  OK, my example here is very simple.
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  If you open social media and then type iPad Pro second
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  generation blah blah blah, guess what is gonna show up in 2026?
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  Is it really worth it in 2026? Is it really useful?
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  Blah blah blah. You will have tons of tons of
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  suggestions and so on and so forth, right?
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  But this is the real question. I am not telling this is either
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  bad or good. All I am trying to say is
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  whether it is 2020 or 2020, since it does not matter.
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  The thing that matters is whether you are really able to
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  use it for your own purpose. That is the most important point
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  here, because rather than someone saying something because
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  they have trusted it or they have tested it or so on and so
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  forth, you don't need to. You can watch it, you can see it
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  and you will repair, sure, But you don't need to entirely
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  believe whatever they say it because the usage of this gadget
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  depends on how you are going to use it, right?
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  I am going to use it in a different way.
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  You gonna use it in a different way, Every other person is gonna
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  use it in a different way. Then how are you going to trust
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  whatever the other person is gonna say?
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  Like, OK, this is great, this is not great, this is good, this is
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  not good. You cannot.
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  But what you can gain from that particular thing is they will
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  give their insight, their opinion.
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  Like what I am doing in my podcast.
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  I am giving mindset, my opinions, my suggestions and you
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  are the ones ultimately need to take decisions based upon you,
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  not me. And whether it helps you or not
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  is up to you. So that is why it is not about
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  the device or anything, it is about how you process your
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  thoughts and how you going to make use of the information.
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  Same way you cannot trust everyone.
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  Just because they are nice, just because they are good, just
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  because they are, they are being sweet.
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  These that these are facts. These are things you just need
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  to be patient, be observant, and then come to my conclusion
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  because the moment you start revealing sensitive information
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  to your so-called close friends or your partners and so on and
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  so forth, guess what is going to happen?
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  Things are going to turn around and might get messy.
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  Especially in 2026, things are really crazy.
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  So yeah, so that is why all I am saying is like, but you know, on
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  the contrast, without trust, any connection will feel definitely
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  shallow for sure. Healing trust issues like that
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  does not mean becoming naive or anything.
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  It takes a process, means you become emotionally stronger and
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  you trust your own intuition for the matter and you take care.
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  Alright, so I hope you gained some sort of insights from my
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  opinions here in the Road broadcast.
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  If you really did, please comment down below what you like
• 21:41
  here and any suggestions. I'm open to any suggestions that
• 21:45
  you are going to give. I know these days people are
• 21:48
  suggesting me to speak in native languages and so on and so
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  forth. I'm sorry guys, I'm not doing
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  that because I do have an international audience across
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  not just India. So I think it's better to keep
• 22:08
  English as the primary speaking language for now.
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  And if you want to, this is available on all audio platforms
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  and also on YouTube as well. Audio platforms like Spotify,
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  Apple Broadcast, Audible, Amazon Music and so on and so forth.
• 22:29
  And also you can find it on video platforms like YouTube and
• 22:33
  YouTube Music as well. So there you can actually have
• 22:38
  subtitles button, you can watch it in your native language if
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  those major platforms supports. So you can get my point.
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  It's been a pleasure for me to continue doing what I'm doing.
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  I know I don't do crazy edits or anything at this point of time.
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  The reason is I don't have that much of time.
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  I am just a solo creator so far, creating whenever I have time.
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  And that is the reason why I am not doing crazy things.
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  I am just trying to communicate my point as much as possible
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  with my experiences and everything I have experienced or
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  my colleagues, experiences, friends, so on and so forth.
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  It's just a small, you know, insights I am providing to the
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  world from my side, which might help you in one way or another.
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  And hopefully. So being said, thank you so much
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  for tuning in to the Roldog podcast and I'll catch you up
• 23:45
  soon. Until then, take care.
• 23:47
  Bye bye signing off. This is Doctor.