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The Double Bind: Why Trust Feels Impossible · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: Has someone ever told you that you have no personality?
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  Speaker 1: What does that even mean? Is that really possible? Having
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  Speaker 1: no personality isn't really possible, but it is absolutely possible
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  Speaker 1: that you are suppressing your personality and not letting it
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  Speaker 1: shine through. Everyone has their own personality, including you. Your
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  Speaker 1: personality is the sum of your experiences over your lifetime.
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  Speaker 1: The things you like and don't like, foods you prefer
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  Speaker 1: and don't prefer, and the music genres that you favor,
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  Speaker 1: all of which make up your personality. Psychology researchers Fayard
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  Speaker 1: and colleagues gave the answer in a study published in
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  Speaker 1: the Journal of Research and Personality. In that research, an
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  Speaker 1: individual may simply interpret it as negative and not a
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  Speaker 1: compliment at all. Nevertheless, the term does seem ambiguous. Does
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  Speaker 1: it mean you have no interests and hobbies, or that
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  Speaker 1: you're a person with few words? To begin, the researchers
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  Speaker 1: asked 104 study participants to explain the difference between having
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  Speaker 1: no personality and having a lot of personality in an
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  Speaker 1: open-ended writing exercise. More than half of the respondents in
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  Speaker 1: the study described having no personality as boring, using the
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  Speaker 1: words bland, dull, or lacking charisma. A lot of personality,
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  Speaker 1: on the other hand, refers to sociable, energetic, and emotionally
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  Speaker 1: expressive people They're described as being likable, bubbly, and confident.
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  Speaker 1: Stay tuned until the end as we explore the reasons
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  Speaker 1: why you feel you have no personality and what you
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  Speaker 1: can do to develop a personality. Team Low Self-Esteem According
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  Speaker 1: to psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanogia in his video, Therapist Reacts,
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  Speaker 1: I Am Too Boring for Other People, feeling like you
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  Speaker 1: have no personality is linked to low self-worth, also known
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  Speaker 1: as self-esteem. In an article published in Psychology Today, researchers
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  Speaker 1: Davis and colleagues explained that low self-esteem results in an
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  Speaker 1: unfavorable view of oneself. These individuals tend to be self-critical
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  Speaker 1: and often get sucked into negative self-talk, saying things like,
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  Speaker 1: I'm worthless, I have no personality, I'm not interesting enough.
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  Speaker 1: How do you feel about yourself? Does this point sound
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  Speaker 1: pretty similar to your inner monologue? This could be a
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  Speaker 1: reason why you feel you don't have a personality, but
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  Speaker 1: don't worry, it's definitely there. Stone-faced. Let's say you break
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  Speaker 1: up with your partner after a heated argument. The next day,
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  Speaker 1: you have an important exam to take, so you decide
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  Speaker 1: to take a deep breath, suppress your sadness, and pretend
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  Speaker 1: it never happened. A group of researchers led by Michaela
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  Speaker 1: Hiebler-Rager found that our personalities are decided by our primary emotions. Fear, care, anger, seeking, play,
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  Speaker 1: and sadness. When we don't show these emotions, we don't
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  Speaker 1: allow these emotions and actions to shape our personality. So,
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  Speaker 1: by suppressing your emotions, you're suppressing your personality. On the contrary,
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  Speaker 1: your authenticity is apparent when you express your emotion. You
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  Speaker 1: allow others to connect with you on a deeper level,
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  Speaker 1: and thus you will be likable and perceived as having
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  Speaker 1: a personality. Cater to the masses. Picture this. You are
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  Speaker 1: on a first date with your long-time crush at a
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  Speaker 1: burger restaurant. He asks you whether you want to try
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  Speaker 1: the sourdough pickles. But here's the catch. You don't like pickles.
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  Speaker 1: Instead of saying no, you become agreeable and say you
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  Speaker 1: like pickles and want to try them. A study written
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  Speaker 1: by psychology researchers Jennifer Fayard and colleagues reported that about
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  Speaker 1: a third of the respondents said described people with no
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  Speaker 1: personality as those who don't stand out or don't hold
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  Speaker 1: any strong opinions or preferences. Counselor and psychotherapist Adele Wilde
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  Speaker 1: states that you thrive mentally and physically when you receive
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  Speaker 1: attention through recognition, understanding, and acceptance. However, in many cases,
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  Speaker 1: this desire for acceptance is accompanied by a fear of
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  Speaker 1: being rejected and not understood. When this fear outweighs your
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  Speaker 1: need for attention, you conceal your true self from showing.
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  Speaker 1: That desire to be accepted and validated causes you to
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  Speaker 1: transform yourself into whatever the other person wants you to become.
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  Speaker 1: You are always conforming to what other people want. Therefore,
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  Speaker 1: your true personality never emerges. Can you relate to the
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  Speaker 1: reasons stated so far? You may wonder what you can
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  Speaker 1: do if you feel that you have no personality. With
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  Speaker 1: that said, here are three solutions. Build Confidence and Self-Esteem
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  Speaker 1: In the video How to Build Confidence from Within, psychiatrist Dr.
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  Speaker 1: Alla Kanogia says you need to sit and think on
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  Speaker 1: who you are and why you feel the way you
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  Speaker 1: do about yourself. This can lead to self-discovery about why
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  Speaker 1: your self-esteem is low and what your true core values are.
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  Speaker 1: This can help strip away old beliefs or even toxic
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  Speaker 1: thoughts passed on in your earlier years. Self-doubt can become
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  Speaker 1: an obstacle in building your personality. Therefore, to assist you
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  Speaker 1: in building your self-esteem, make a list of 10 things
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  Speaker 1: you appreciate about your life and 10 things you are
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  Speaker 1: grateful for. Who am I? Knowing yourself better is the
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  Speaker 1: focal point in understanding your personality and can increase self-esteem.
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  Speaker 1: Psychologist Seymour Epstein explains our self-concept consists of Our material self,
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  Speaker 1: our body size, shape, appearance. Intrapersonal self, our emotions, needs, values, opinions.
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  Speaker 1: And interpersonal self, how others see us. Learning more about
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  Speaker 1: each of these categories can help you increase your self-confidence
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  Speaker 1: and self-esteem. Don't chit, just chat. Listen to these two questions.
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  Speaker 1: Can you spot the difference? Question 1. What did you
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  Speaker 1: do in school today? Question 2. What is your favorite
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  Speaker 1: part of your day at school today? Psychologist Jonas Webb
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  Speaker 1: describes the first question as a horizontal question, which is
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  Speaker 1: a close-ended question that provides facts and information. The second
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  Speaker 1: question is known as a vertical question, which encourages the
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  Speaker 1: person you're speaking with to reflect and examine their response
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  Speaker 1: more deeply. This makes your conversation more interesting and satisfying.
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  Speaker 1: There is plenty of room for you to develop your personality,
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  Speaker 1: as you already have a foundation. Your main problem is
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  Speaker 1: that you might not be aware that you already have it,
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  Speaker 1: so your first step will be to find out what
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  Speaker 1: you're all about. If you enjoyed this video, please like, subscribe,
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  Speaker 1: and share with friends. Until next time, thanks for watching!