Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Defending & Defining: Fearless Friday on Truth and Justice

Transcript

Defending & Defining: Fearless Friday on Truth and Justice · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

0:00
Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
0:07
learning and living your full experience.
0:11
I'm your host, Coach C, and this is your Fearless Friday episode,
0:16
Defending and Defining.
0:20
Listen, family, today's Real Talk might make some people uncomfortable,
0:25
and I'm okay with that, Because Fearless Friday wasn't created for comfortable conversations.
0:32
It was created for courageous ones.
0:34
And today's conversation is called Defending and Defining.
0:40
Because there is something exhausting about constantly filling tests with defining
0:46
who you are while simultaneously defending your right to be who you are.
0:53
Defending your humanity. defending your concerns defending your questions defending your fears,
1:02
defending your fight defending why something hurts,
1:06
defending why something matters and sometimes simply defending why you believe
1:13
something deserves a closer look
1:17
and for black people in america that burden didn't begin yesterday.
1:23
Say their names. Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner,
1:28
Tamir Rice, Sandra Bland, Philando Castile, Botham Jean, Atatiana Jefferson,
1:39
Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery.
1:43
George Floyd, Elijah McClain, Sonia Massey,
1:49
Emmett Till, and now there are even names much closer to my home that have caused
1:55
communities to stop and ask questions.
1:59
Juliana Nazita, Cedric Caillou, and the name that has brought so many of us
2:04
into another difficult national conversation, Nolan Xavier Wills.
2:11
Different people, different places, different circumstances,
2:17
different investigations, different conclusions.
2:21
So no, I am not standing here telling you every case is the same.
2:27
I'm saying something much simpler.
2:30
Every life deserves to matter enough for the questions to matter too.
2:37
Why must we keep defining? Sometimes it feels as though black people are constantly
2:44
required to provide footnotes for our humanity.
2:49
We say black lives matter and somebody immediately responds all lives matter.
2:55
Well yes, all lives should matter But saying Black Lives Matter never meant
3:03
that anybody else's life did not.
3:06
If one house on the block is burning and I scream, that house matters.
3:13
I haven't declared war on every house that isn't on fire.
3:17
I'm identifying the house that requires attention.
3:23
And that is where defining becomes necessary.
3:26
Because somebody will intentionally redefine your message if you don't know
3:32
how to define it yourself. So define it.
3:36
Black lives matter means our children matter, our mothers matter,
3:43
our fathers matter, our sons matter.
3:47
Our daughters matter, our safety matters, our questions matter,
3:53
our experiences matter,
3:55
our right to equal treatment matters, our right to go home matters,
4:00
our right to call for help matters.
4:03
And when somebody doesn't make it home, the truth matters. Defending doesn't mean declaring guilt.
4:10
Now, this is important because we've reached a place where asking questions
4:17
is sometimes treated as though you're making an accusation.
4:21
No, there is a difference between I know what happened and I want to know what happened.
4:28
Those are not the same statement.
4:30
Demanding an investigation does not mean you've already decided the outcome.
4:36
Demanding transparency does not mean you've declared somebody guilty.
4:42
Demanding evidence does not mean you're creating a conspiracy.
4:47
Sometimes it simply means show me how you got there.
4:54
And that is one of the reasons the Nolan Wells case has struck such a nerve.
4:59
A young black man went away for the 4th of July.
5:03
He didn't come home. His family had questions. His community had questions.
5:08
People across this country had questions.
5:11
And the questions deserve to be answered by evidence.
5:16
Not Facebook. Not rumors. Not racial assumptions. Not somebody's favorite narrative.
5:23
Evidence. Because the truth doesn't need protection from legitimate questions.
5:28
Truth can withstand examination.
5:32
And then comes the defending. This is where the conversation gets uncomfortable.
5:37
Because sometimes when black people question systems, suddenly the conversation becomes about us.
5:44
Why are you angry? Why are you making this about race?
5:48
Why are you protesting? Why don't you trust the process?
5:52
Why are you asking so many questions? Why can't you wait? Why can't you accept the explanation?
5:59
Why are you being divisive?
6:01
And after a while, you're not even discussing the original concern anymore.
6:07
Now you're defending your right to be concerned.
6:11
Whew, that's exhausting because I'm defining the problem while defending why
6:19
I'm allowed to believe there is a problem.
6:23
History changes how people hear the present.
6:27
And we cannot have an intellectually honest conversation about Black Americans
6:33
and hanging without acknowledging history.
6:37
That imagery carries historical weight.
6:41
That doesn't mean every modern hanging is a lynching.
6:45
Let me say that again because responsible advocacy requires responsible language.
6:51
Every hanging of a black person is not automatically evidence of a lynching. Facts matter.
6:59
Evidence matters. Investigations matter.
7:02
Mental health matters. But history matters too.
7:07
And you cannot tell a community carrying generations of historical memory that
7:12
an image historically associated with racial terror should produce absolutely no emotional response.
7:20
People are going to ask questions, and questions are not convictions.
7:25
Questions are how we arrive at answers.
7:28
Fear can inform the fight without controlling it. And maybe that's part of what I'm trying to say.
7:35
Our fears sometimes inform our fights, but fear cannot be allowed to become our facts.
7:43
That is where fearless living requires discipline.
7:47
Because being fearless doesn't mean being reckless.
7:51
Being fearless means being willing
7:54
to enter difficult conversations while remaining anchored in truth.
8:00
It means saying, I am concerned, so I will investigate.
8:04
Not, I am concerned, therefore my assumption must be true.
8:09
There is power in that distinction because if we want accountability from institutions,
8:15
we must also demand accountability from ourselves.
8:18
We cannot fight misinformation with more misinformation.
8:23
Listen, social media will have a rumor dressed, accessorized,
8:29
and halfway down the highway before truth finds its shoes.
8:33
And I know we want answers, I know. But if we are fighting for truth,
8:39
then truth has to remain the standard even when the truth hasn't caught up to our questions yet.
8:45
Don't share something simply because it supports what you already believe
8:50
verify it don't turn speculation into declaration label it don't accuse somebody
8:57
because the internet decided they look suspicious investigate it
9:01
don't let outrage outrun accuracy because credibility is currency and if you're
9:08
going to use your voice for justice protect the credibility of your voice.
9:14
Advocacy and accountability can coexist. You can support law enforcement and
9:20
still question an investigation.
9:22
You can believe in due process and still demand transparency.
9:26
You can acknowledge that suicide exists and still believe unexplained circumstances
9:33
deserve thorough investigation.
9:36
You can condemn harassment and still support a family's pursuit of answers.
9:42
You can believe that Black Lives Matter without believing that every white person is the enemy.
9:48
You can love America and still challenge America to live up to its promises.
9:53
Two truths can occupy the same room.
9:57
We have got to stop acting like complexity is betrayal.
10:02
Define yourself before somebody else does it for you.
10:06
And this goes beyond racial justice because somebody listening needs this personally.
10:13
Stop allowing other people to define your position before you've defined it for yourself.
10:21
Know what you believe. Know why you believe it. Know what evidence would cause you to reconsider it.
10:28
Know what your values are. Know what you will defend.
10:32
Know what you will not defend. And most importantly, know who you are without
10:38
needing somebody else to agree with you.
10:41
Because when you don't define yourself, somebody else will gladly hand you a definition.
10:47
Angry, difficult, divisive, too loud, too sensitive, too black,
10:54
too political, too much.
10:57
And sometimes you've got to hand that definition right back.
11:01
Return to sender. I know who I am.
11:04
You don't have to be loud to be fearless. Fearless advocacy doesn't always require a microphone.
11:11
Sometimes it's asking another question.
11:14
Sometimes it's requesting the document.
11:17
Sometimes it's attending the meeting. Sometimes it's voting.
11:22
Sometimes it's writing the representative. sometimes is correcting misinformation
11:27
in your own circle sometimes is refusing to participate in dehumanizing conversation
11:34
sometimes it's saying no we're not going to talk about that human being that
11:39
way sometimes courage is loud,
11:42
sometimes courage is incredibly calm but courage is always willing to stand
11:47
somewhere don't lose your humanity while defending humanity This one.
11:54
Don't lose your humanity while defending humanity.
11:59
Because righteous anger can become destructive anger if we're not careful.
12:04
If we're fighting because people deserve humanity, then we cannot strip humanity
12:08
from somebody else to make our point.
12:11
Threatening people isn't justice. Harassing families isn't justice.
12:16
Racial hatred isn't justice. Destroyed somebody without evidence isn't justice.
12:22
That's revenge wearing justice's clothes. And I don't want revenge. I want truth.
12:28
I want accountability. I want transparency. I want systems worthy of public trust.
12:34
I want grieving families treated with dignity.
12:37
I want evidence followed wherever it leads. And if the evidence ultimately contradicts
12:42
what I suspected, then I have to be courageous enough to accept that truth, too.
12:47
Because my commitment cannot merely be the outcome I wanted.
12:51
My commitment has to be to the truth. Here's your fearless homework.
12:56
Define it. Defend it. Do something.
13:00
This weekend, I don't want you leaving this episode simply angry.
13:04
I want you leaving it equipped.
13:06
Your fearless homework has three parts. One, define it.
13:11
Choose one social issue you care deeply about and write one sentence.
13:16
I believe blank because blank.
13:20
No slogans, no social media talking points, your words, your understanding, your conviction.
13:28
If you cannot explain what you believe, spend some time learning before you spend time arguing.
13:34
Number two, defend it with facts. Find three credible sources that either support
13:41
your position or challenge you to think more deeply about it.
13:45
Yes, I said challenge you because fearless people aren't afraid of information
13:51
that complicates their opinions.
13:53
Read something you disagree with.
13:55
Ask yourself, what do I know?
13:58
What do I assume? What still needs to be proven.
14:02
That is how conviction becomes informed conviction.
14:07
Three, do something. Turn concern into constructive action.
14:11
Make the call. Send the email. Attend the meeting. Support the family.
14:17
Donate to a credible organization.
14:19
Learn your local representatives. Register to vote. Vote. Mentor somebody. Teach your children.
14:29
Correct misinformation. Use your platform. But do something.
14:34
Because outrage without action eventually becomes noise.
14:39
And we weren't called to merely make noise. We were called to make a difference.
14:44
Family, this episode wasn't designed to tell you what to think.
14:48
It was designed to challenge you to think, to question, to learn,
14:54
to verify, to speak, to listen, to stand, to define, and when necessary, to defend.
15:02
Because black lives matter, truth matters, justice matters, due process matters,
15:09
accountability matters, and humanity matters.
15:13
We can demand answers without manufacturing them.
15:16
We can challenge systems without abandoning facts. We can remember history without
15:21
automatically assigning history's conclusions to every circumstance today.
15:26
We can fight fiercely without losing ourselves in the fight.
15:30
And we can refuse to become silent simply because our questions make somebody uncomfortable.
15:36
So define what you stand for, defend it with truth, and then live in a way that
15:42
demonstrates what you believe.
15:43
Because fearless isn't reckless. Fearless is informed.
15:48
Fearless is intentional. Fearless is disciplined.
15:52
Fearless is courageous enough to ask the question and courageous enough to follow
15:57
the evidence wherever the answer leads.
16:00
This is Real Talk for Real Life.
16:02
As always, live fearless, live fearless, live fearless, and keep learning, keep living.
16:10
This is Real Talk where we're realizing everyone is always learning and living your full experience.
16:18
Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real
16:22
Life That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between
16:29
episodes This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.