Latest / Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News / The devastating cost of fatherless homes in America

Transcript

The devastating cost of fatherless homes in America · Cultural Wars | America Out Loud News

0:07
You're listening to The Hidden Lightness on America
0:09
Out Loud Talk Radio.
0:10
I'm your host, Jimmy Hinton.
0:12
There's a really, really good article by Pastor
0:14
Corey Brooks.
0:17
I absolutely love Pastor Corey Brooks.
0:19
And every time he writes something, I just
0:22
I find myself in complete agreement.
0:25
I think he is just so spot on
0:27
and really has finger on the pulse of
0:29
what's going on in America.
0:31
And of course he gets a lot of
0:33
backlash for that.
0:34
And people call him all kinds of names
0:36
and yeah, whatever.
0:38
He's he's no stranger to criticism.
0:41
But this article caught my attention because it's
0:43
something that I've thought about my entire life.
0:46
And especially being a father myself, uh, this
0:49
really hits home.
0:52
The title of his article is dads aren't
0:54
optional.
0:57
And America's kids are paying the brutal price.
1:02
Amen.
1:04
Dads are not, in fact, optional.
1:09
In fact, dads are essential.
1:13
Having a father in the life of a
1:15
child, it matters.
1:18
And there's plenty, plenty, plenty of research that
1:21
shows this.
1:23
But aside from research, just our own experiences
1:25
demonstrate this.
1:29
The kids without a father, without a father
1:31
figure in their life.
1:34
It's much harder.
1:36
Not saying that it's impossible at all.
1:38
There are plenty of kids that grow up
1:41
without fathers who end up being really, really
1:44
good, decent human beings.
1:47
But it's very difficult.
1:49
There are a lot of roadblocks and a
1:51
lot of things that provide instability whenever a
1:54
father is not in the life of a
1:56
child.
1:59
And I'm speaking as a man.
2:02
I I think it's really important.
2:04
In fact, it's essential for fathers to be
2:07
present in the lives of their kids.
2:09
And I don't mean just to be home.
2:13
I mean to be present.
2:16
To be a role model.
2:18
To be somebody who your kids look up
2:20
to.
2:22
To be a provider for your family.
2:24
And I know, oh, that's that's that's sexist
2:26
to say that.
2:28
No, it isn't.
2:29
First of all.
2:32
You know, this whole idea, the woke movement
2:35
has gotten so out of hand that a
2:37
lot of people get offended by statements like
2:40
that.
2:43
And they're all that's sexist to say that
2:46
a husband should be a provider.
2:49
I'm not saying that a husband should be
2:51
the sole provider, but a husband should be
2:53
a provider.
2:56
A husband should be willing to work.
2:58
And I can't tell you how many times,
3:01
countless times, over my years in ministry, where
3:04
I had women calling me, begging for food,
3:08
begging for shelter, begging for money, you name
3:11
it.
3:15
And I would ask the question, do you
3:17
have, do you have a husband?
3:19
Or do you have a boyfriend or a
3:21
significant other?
3:25
And many times they did, and I would
3:26
say, why aren't they the ones picking up
3:28
the phone and calling?
3:31
Does your husband work?
3:33
Well, no, he's he's in but like the
3:35
story's almost always the same.
3:38
He's in between jobs right now, and he's
3:40
just having a really hard time.
3:43
I'm like, yeah, but why isn't he picking
3:44
up the phone?
3:47
Who told you to call me?
3:49
Who told you to call this church?
3:53
And almost always, whenever there's a man in
3:56
the picture, he's the one pulling the strings,
4:00
making his wife call churches while he's not
4:03
working.
4:07
And I'll ask the question, well, is your
4:09
husband physically able to work?
4:12
Yeah, he's physically able, but he's just he's
4:14
been out of work for like six months
4:16
now, and he's just having a hard time
4:18
finding jobs, you know, there aren't any jobs
4:20
out there.
4:22
And I'm like, no, no, no.
4:25
Don't you excuse away your husband's bad behavior?
4:28
And like I'm pretty honest with them.
4:32
No, I'm not, I'm not mean, I'm not
4:34
rude, I'm not judgmental, but I try to
4:36
get them to see that you're you're being
4:38
used.
4:42
If your husband who's perfectly willing and able
4:44
to work, first of all, he's not willing
4:47
if he's not getting a job, but if
4:50
he's able to work, if he's physically and
4:53
mentally able to work, and he's been out
4:56
of work for six months, and he won't
4:59
get a job, but he's having you, he
5:01
won't even pick up the phone and call
5:04
churches.
5:07
He's having you do it.
5:11
He's not gonna get a job.
5:12
He's lazy.
5:14
He he's riding the system.
5:18
And they get offended usually, they don't want
5:20
to hear it.
5:22
But in the end, I've had several come
5:24
back and thank me and say, I I
5:26
never saw it before, and I see it
5:27
now.
5:30
Because they would ask.
5:32
She would ask them to help her make
5:34
calls.
5:36
Like, not even be the one to to
5:38
spearhead all the calls, but just to help.
5:41
And a lot of times a lot of
5:43
times these men will get irate.
5:45
They'll be like, What do you mean?
5:48
Why should I be the one to call?
5:52
And it's uh it's sad, it's really, really
5:54
sad and it's infuriating whenever kids are entered
5:57
into that equation.
6:01
And I'm gonna use the word deadbeat because
6:02
that's that's what a lot of them are,
6:04
not all of them, but a lot of
6:05
them.
6:08
They're deadbeats, and they ride the system, they
6:11
force their their women to call around while
6:14
they don't work.
6:18
You know, I don't know what they're doing
6:19
with their time.
6:20
I don't really care, it's none of my
6:21
business.
6:24
But when you're able, you're able to work
6:26
and you refuse, you won't even pick up
6:29
the phone and and try.
6:32
But you're having your you're having your woman
6:34
do it, your wife or your girlfriend, fiancee,
6:37
whatever she is, you're having her do it.
6:40
That's that's just not right.
6:43
And the kids see that, and the kids
6:46
end up, unfortunately, a lot of the times,
6:48
becoming a reflection of what they see in
6:50
their father.
6:53
Now that's unfortunate when the father's exhibiting bad
6:56
behavior, but when the father is exhibiting good
7:00
behavior, stable behavior, productive behavior, godly behavior, then
7:00
Behavior, productive behavior, godly behavior, then that's a
7:04
that's a great thing.
7:04
great thing.
7:08
And that's exactly Pastor Corey Brooks' point.
7:08
And that's exactly Pastor Corey Brooks' point.
7:13
So he said there's a lie that's been
7:13
So he said there's a lie that's been
7:15
spreading throughout this country for the last several
7:15
spreading throughout this country for the last several
7:17
decades, like poison.
7:17
decades, like poison.
7:20
Quote, you don't need a father.
7:20
Quote, you don't need a father.
7:24
This lie shows up in our music, our
7:24
This lie shows up in our music, our
7:27
politics, our policies, and sometimes.
7:27
politics, our policies, and sometimes even our churches.
7:31
The lie pretends to be compassionate, inclusive, and
7:35
modern by passing no judgment.
7:38
But if you walk the streets that I
7:40
walk, if you sit with the children that
7:43
I sit with, you will see the wreckage
7:45
that this lie leaves behind.
7:49
A men.
7:51
Man is he spot on.
7:53
He is 100% right.
7:56
You know, it's mast and compassion, and we
7:58
usually say something like, well, we don't want
8:01
to disparage the all the hardworking single moms.
8:05
You don't have to disparage a single mom.
8:07
That's I know a lot of single moms
8:11
who are doing a tremendously tremendously good job
8:14
at raising their kid or kids.
8:18
You're not disparaging them by saying that life
8:20
gets hard when there's no dad in the
8:22
picture.
8:26
I know a lot of women who struggle
8:29
financially because they're left as the sole caretaker.
8:34
And it's it's very difficult.
8:36
Child care is very expensive.
8:40
When you're a single mom, you have to
8:43
work a lot.
8:46
You have to put your kids in child
8:48
care.
8:53
A lot of women have to go back
8:55
to school or learn a trade.
8:58
That's time and money.
9:00
You know, it's not easy.
9:03
And so I think that we can we
9:05
can both commend the single moms who are
9:07
raising their kids.
9:10
And we can say kids do much better
9:13
when there's a dad in their life.
9:18
Corey Brooks goes on to say, when we
9:20
lose fathers, we lose the core of the
9:22
family structure.
9:24
When we lose fathers, we lose the protection
9:26
that the family and the neighborhood need.
9:29
When we lose fathers, we lose morals, direction,
9:31
and discipline.
9:33
When we lose fathers, we leave gaping holes
9:36
in children that they will struggle to fill.
9:39
When we lose fathers, we lose a generation.
9:43
Very, very bold statements.
9:45
Incredibly bold statements.
9:48
And they're statements that I happen to agree
9:50
with.
9:53
I think he's exactly right.
10:02
My opinion, it's just as bad, or maybe
10:05
even worse than having no father when you
10:08
have an abusive father.
10:12
Somebody who's verbally abusive, physically abusive, sexually abusive.
10:19
Those kids are better off having no father
10:22
than have a father in the home who's
10:25
abusive towards them or towards their mother.
10:30
There's no room for abuse.
10:32
And when kids grow up in that kind
10:34
of environment where they're afraid to live in
10:36
the one place where they ought to feel
10:38
very safe and protected in their very own
10:40
home.
10:49
And kids have to find a way to
10:50
cope.
10:51
They have to try to find a way
10:54
to manage the pain and to try to
10:57
process and to try to understand why the
11:00
person who is supposed to be the protector
11:02
in their life is actually hurting them.
11:06
You see, it makes no sense.
11:19
On and on it goes.
11:20
Poverty.
11:35
Yes, our community carries a heavy burden here,
11:37
and tragically so.
11:40
In 2023, 49% of black children lived with
11:42
one parent.
11:46
And 47.5% lived without a father in the
11:48
home.
11:52
That's half.
12:10
This is an American problem.
12:11
This is a cultural problem.
12:13
And this problem really, I mean, he doesn't
12:16
really get into this, but this problem really
12:18
started to stem from this idea that everybody's
12:21
equal.
12:24
And women don't need men in their lives.
12:28
And it's like, which which would you rather
12:30
pick?
12:31
By the way, I'm not saying that we're
12:32
not all equal.
12:34
We are equal.
12:36
But what they mean by equality is a
12:38
very different progressive idea.
12:41
It's the idea that women not only don't
12:43
need men in their lives, but women ought
12:46
to despise men.
12:49
How dare men try to hold the door
12:51
open for them?
12:52
And there are a lot of videos on
12:53
this.
13:11
And they're trying to do projects around the
13:13
house, and it's a complete disaster.
13:16
You know, you have women instead of putting
13:20
oil in their car, they're putting windshield washer
13:23
fluid and junking a $10,000 motor.
13:28
You know, it's this idea, and we've really
13:31
rebranded America this way that women are better
13:33
off without men.
13:35
Would you choose a man or a bear?
13:38
If you were alone on an island or
13:40
alone in the woods, would you rather pick
13:42
a man or a bear?
13:45
All these women, they puff their chest out
13:48
and they're so proud, I'd I'd pick a
13:50
bear, because men are worthless.
13:53
And I understand why a lot of them
13:56
feel that way, because when you've been hurt
13:59
by a man, you tend to project.
14:00
You tend to project.
14:02
And then you just make generalizations as if
14:02
And then you just make generalizations as if
14:04
all men are bad.
14:04
all men are bad.
14:06
But that's not the case.
14:06
But that's not the case.
14:09
That's not the case at all.
14:09
That's not the case at all.
14:10
But we've we've programmed people to think that
14:10
But we've we've programmed people to think that
14:13
men equals aggression.
14:16
men equals aggression, that men equals dishonesty, men
14:17
That men equals dishonesty.
14:22
Men equals um the whole macho persona.
14:22
equals um the whole macho persona.
14:30
And that's bad.
14:33
Men equals anger.
14:36
Men equals abuse.
14:39
You know, and we've come up with these
14:41
generalizations, and we've spread them across society, and
14:43
we've poisoned the minds of kids to where
14:46
the kids think, well, I don't I don't
14:48
need no man in my life.
14:50
I don't need a dad.
14:54
And it's a shame.
14:55
It's it's really sad.
14:58
And yes, there are some really bad fathers,
15:01
some really bad men.
15:03
There are men who go around and their
15:06
job in life is to go around and
15:08
get women pregnant.
15:12
And then they leave.
15:13
They abandon.
15:15
And it's a shame.
15:16
It's it's uh, you know, it's really, really
15:17
difficult.
15:19
So I'm not passing judgment on the women
15:21
who say that they would pick the bear,
15:23
but we've c kind of created this.
15:25
We've created this mindset, we've celebrated it.
15:29
As a society, we you know, I I
15:31
hear other women cheering the women on, they're
15:32
like, yeah, that's right.
15:34
Choose the bear, choose the bear.
15:38
And I'm like, where are the people detesting
15:39
this saying no?
15:42
You're not better off with a bear.
15:45
You're better off with a good man, somebody
15:48
who will treat you right, somebody who will
15:51
respect you, somebody who will honor you, and
15:53
protect you and your children and your neighborhood
15:56
and your home.
16:01
Pastor Brooks goes on, he says, today nearly
16:03
one in four children in this country lives
16:05
without a father in their home.
16:08
This figure astonishes me.
16:10
How is this not a national crisis?
16:13
You know, it's kind of like the silent
16:15
elephant in the room.
16:18
Nobody's really addressing it.
16:19
Nobody's talking about it.
16:20
President Trump did during his campaign.
16:24
And I'm not saying he's the uh prime
16:27
example of stability in a home.
16:30
I think he's on what is third, third
16:32
marriage or fourth marriage or whatever.
16:35
Uh not saying that he's the role model
16:39
for the nation, but he has addressed this.
16:43
He has acknowledged that homes are much more
16:46
stable whenever you have a stable parent home
16:49
with both mother and father.
16:53
Well, we're coming up on a break here.
16:55
There's a lot to unpack, and we will
16:57
be sure to unpack that after the break.
16:59
But be sure in the meantime to check
17:01
out the America Out Loud Store where you'll
17:02
find incredible deals.
17:04
Use the code OutLoud for 20% off and
17:06
visit AmericaOutloud.news, help us share the out loud
17:08
truth.
17:10
We'll be right back.
17:11
One in three people will face cancer, and
17:12
most never see it coming.
17:14
I'm Dr.
17:15
Kelly Victory with the wellness company, and I
17:16
know this personally.
17:18
I exercised daily, avoided processed foods, and had
17:21
no symptoms when a routine mammogram resulted in
17:23
a cancer diagnosis.
17:26
And modern medicine is often reactive instead of
17:27
preventative.
17:29
That's why I formulated SHIELD, a two-part system
17:33
designed to support immune health and antioxidant defense,
17:36
a chemical-free cocoa mix and soft gels.
17:39
Prevention is power.
17:40
Visit TWC.
17:47
Oral hygiene hasn't changed in 50 years, but
17:49
our diet and the way we eat has.
17:52
Creating an environment in your mouth for bacteria
17:54
to wreck havoc on your teeth and gums
17:56
for better oral health.
17:59
Get spray dental defense, an oral care line
18:01
designed to combat acid-creating bacteria.
18:05
The toothpaste, mouthwash, mints, and gum all contain
18:07
xylitol, and natural ingredients shown to dramatically improve
18:10
oral health.
18:13
Sprite can be found online and at all
18:15
fine natural retailers.
18:19
Well, did you see Google quietly updated its
18:22
AI principles removing its pledge not to use
18:26
AI for weapons or surveillance?
18:29
A promise they agreed to in 2018.
18:32
Well, the American people have seen Google's track
18:35
where I could prompt them question is Google
18:38
an untrustworthy player in the AI race.
18:44
Now is our time, my fellows.
18:48
America of Maudot News, liberty, and justice for
18:50
all.
19:07
And that America's kids are paying the brutal
19:10
price for America being a fatherless nation.
19:14
And I think he's right.
19:16
Yeah, he did say recently, and I covered
19:18
this on a recent show.
19:20
He talked about how on his walk across
19:23
America, he's seeing the best of America.
19:26
So he really does see a lot of
19:26
good things.
19:27
And he's seeing that people are closer to
19:31
God, that people are seeking God, that Americans
19:35
are kind-hearted people, uh, Americans are hard-working people.
19:39
So he sees those things, he acknowledges those
19:41
things, but this goes back to what I
19:42
talk about pretty often.
19:44
We can't ignore the fact that there is
19:47
a dark side.
19:49
Right?
19:50
And that's that's the whole point.
19:52
The the light breaks into that darkness.
19:56
The lightness that we show that breaks into
19:59
that darkness and it exposes all the dirtiness
20:02
that's the that's surrounding it.
20:06
You know, where these things lurk in the
20:09
recesses of the dark places within our culture,
20:12
within our country, within our own homes.
20:15
We expose that darkness by letting the lightness
20:19
shine.
20:23
So he goes on to say in in
20:25
in this opinion piece here.
20:27
Number one, he said it's it's a lie.
20:30
It's a lie that father fatherlessness isn't a
20:32
problem.
20:35
It's absolutely a problem.
20:37
It's a lie that it's only a black
20:39
problem.
20:40
It's not twenty percent of white children live
20:43
with only one parent.
20:46
A third of Hispanic children live in single
20:48
parent homes.
20:51
Uh the share of white youth in two
20:54
parent families has fallen from more than 82%
20:57
in 1980 to about 76% today.
21:00
Today.
21:02
Hispanics from about 75% to 67%.
21:02
Hispanics from about 75% to 67%.
21:07
And he argues the trend is going in
21:07
And he argues the trend is going in
21:10
the wrong direction for everybody.
21:10
the wrong direction for everybody.
21:13
But he said that the lie is undermining
21:13
But he said that the lie is undermining
21:15
us all.
21:15
us all.
21:18
Pastor Brooks says the impact of fatherlessness is
21:18
Pastor Brooks says the impact of fatherlessness is
21:20
real.
21:20
real.
21:22
The vast majority of the criminals in our
21:22
The vast majority of the criminals in our
21:24
prisons grew up without a father.
21:24
prisons grew up without a father.
21:27
Research using national surveys,
21:27
Research using national surveys, such as analysis from
21:30
the Institute for Family Studies, shows that kids
21:33
in married two-parent homes are far less likely
21:36
to be victims of violence or to witness
21:39
violence in their neighborhoods.
21:43
For every 1,000 children living with both married
21:47
parents, about 36 encounter neighborhood violence.
21:51
Among children living with never married mothers, that
21:54
number jumps to 102.
21:57
That's almost three times the exposure to violence.
22:02
And I think part of this is living
22:05
in neighborhoods that are poverty stricken.
22:10
And I know there are some studies that
22:12
show that there's not a whole lot of
22:14
correlation between poverty and a rise in crime,
22:16
but there are also studies that showed that
22:18
there are.
23:29
Census tracts with lots of single parent households.
23:48
He knows Chicago, and he knows that South
23:51
Chicago is very violent.
23:55
I mentioned that recently.
23:58
That Pastor Corey Brooks was lamenting the fact
24:00
that South Chicago really doesn't want to get
24:03
their act together.
24:06
They come up with excuses and they say,
24:09
well, how can you be talking about saving
24:12
the youth and doing all this stuff?
24:14
It's we just live, we just live in
24:16
these neighborhoods, and it is what it is.
24:20
And he talked about this learned helplessness that
24:22
they don't really want to get better.
24:25
They don't really want to see these kids
24:27
succeed.
24:30
And that's a shame.
24:31
And it's very different from other areas.
24:38
Totally different dynamic.
24:41
And it's uh it's just wild to me.
24:45
And it's sad, it's heartbreaking.
24:48
But we can see this across the nation.
24:50
We can see that single-parent homes, it really
24:55
has devastating impacts on the kids.
25:00
It really does.
25:02
And it doesn't make the kids bad.
25:04
It doesn't mean that the kids are doomed
25:06
because they're living in a single single parent
25:07
home.
25:09
Don't mishear what the statistics are saying.
25:14
But what it is saying is that there
25:17
is a very, very clear, crystal clear uptick.
25:22
In fact, he calls it an explosion of
25:24
crime.
25:28
Crime doesn't just inch up, it explodes.
25:32
Those are his own words.
25:35
And the research shows that this is 100%
25:37
true.
25:40
And yet people deny it and they'll say,
25:42
well, that's just you're you're being racist and
25:44
all this other stuff.
25:46
And he addresses that in the article, too.
25:48
Yeah, talked about how white supremacy is supposedly
25:51
that's that's the problem that's plaguing the nation
25:53
right now.
25:57
And he makes an argument that that's not
26:00
exactly the big issue right now.
26:05
You know, it needs addressed, but that's not
26:07
the big issue that's plaguing plaguing the nation
26:10
right now.
26:13
Yeah, the big issue is fatherless homes.
26:17
It's crime, it's trying to work with kids
26:21
who who've been in abusive families.
26:26
It's really difficult.
26:27
And anybody who's ever been abused or you've
26:29
worked with people who've been abused or neglected,
26:32
which is a form of abuse.
26:35
It is really, really difficult.
26:37
It just puts puts your life on a
26:39
really difficult trajectory right out of the gate.
26:42
And I would argue that life is hard
26:43
enough to begin with.
26:46
We don't need to make it any harder
26:47
for our kids.
26:51
And my kids talk about it.
26:53
They talk about how they have compassion for
26:55
kids who are grown up in single-parent homes.
27:00
They have some friends that have different, every
27:04
single different step sibling is from a different
27:07
father.
27:12
There's one family, I think there are like
27:14
five or six kids.
27:16
Not one of those kids has the same
27:17
father.
27:22
It's challenging, and you can see it play
27:24
out in the kids' lives.
27:27
And they're good kids, don't get me wrong.
27:28
I'm not saying that they're that that just
27:30
automatically makes kids bad.
27:32
I'm not saying that.
27:34
But it does let it does make life
27:36
really, really difficult.
27:38
It puts a squeeze on them.
27:41
Yeah, it creates a lot of identity issues.
27:45
And now we've compounded that.
27:46
We've made that worse by saying, well, now
27:49
gender is fluid, and uh, you know, your
27:52
identity doesn't really matter.
27:56
Your identity is whatever you make it out
27:57
to be.
27:59
And a lot of kids are very, very
28:00
And a lot of kids are very, very
28:02
confused because they're being told this by adults.
28:02
confused because they're being told this by adults.
28:06
And that it doesn't matter what your what
28:06
And that it doesn't matter what your what
28:08
your sexual orientation is, just kind of experiment.
28:08
your sexual orientation is, just kind of experiment.
28:13
You can experiment with bisexuality, homosexuality, experiment with
28:13
You can experiment with bisexuality, homosexuality, experiment with
28:17
polyamory.
28:17
polyamory.
28:22
Yeah, polygamy is okay.
28:22
Yeah, polygamy is okay.
28:24
You know, on and on and on.
28:24
Yeah, on and on and on.
28:26
It just keeps expanding.
28:26
It just keeps expanding, and these kids are
28:27
And these kids are getting really, really, really
28:27
getting really, really, really confused.
28:28
confused.
28:32
And it's it's difficult.
28:34
I feel really, really bad for kids.
28:38
And a lot of the adults have done
28:39
this.
28:40
And a lot of it's just crazy.
28:43
Craziness.
28:45
Yeah, and the government hasn't exactly helped.
28:50
We designed incentives that penalize people for getting
28:52
married.
28:54
When it comes to tax structuring, things like
28:56
that.
28:59
We penalize people.
29:00
It becomes more difficult.
29:02
And I've had many people tell me they're
29:03
like, we we want to get married.
29:07
But getting married is going to put us
29:10
in a really, really difficult financial bind because
29:12
of the way the system is structured.
29:15
Well, that shouldn't happen.
29:18
And we can thank the Obama administration for
29:20
putting that on steroids.
29:24
You know, they they they give lots of
29:26
benefits to single parents.
29:30
Like they almost they almost incentivize it.
29:35
Where if you're a single parent, now you
29:37
can, and that'll check.
29:39
Like you can still have a man living
29:40
in the house.
29:42
If you're a woman, you can have a
29:43
man living in the house.
29:45
It can be the kid's dad, or it
29:46
can't be, you know, it might be somebody
29:48
else, doesn't really matter, but as long as
29:50
you can prove that you're not married, you
29:52
get all these benefits.
29:53
You get the Obama phone, you get uh,
29:56
you got welfare, you get food stamps.
30:00
And I literally had people coming into my
30:02
office saying, I really, really, really want to
30:05
get married, but it just doesn't make sense.
30:08
It doesn't make financial sense to do it.
30:11
And don't you think it should be the
30:12
opposite?
30:14
Shouldn't we reward people for getting married for
30:18
creating stable or at least more stable homes?
30:23
But that's not the way our system is
30:24
designed.
30:26
So again, it goes back to would you
30:28
rather have a man or a bear?
30:30
Would you rather be alone with a man
30:32
or a bear?
30:33
Nope, give me the bear.
30:34
I choose the bear.
30:37
It's crazy.
30:38
This is craziness.
30:42
So Corey Brooks goes on, he says, you
30:43
can't look at numbers like that and say
30:45
that fathers don't matter.
30:47
This lie has a price.
30:49
And that price is often lives.
30:53
One cure to all of this that I've
30:56
consistently advocated for is marriage.
31:00
I want to officiate at more marriages than
31:02
funerals.
31:05
Marriage is the answer to fatherlessness.
31:08
And this truth couldn't be plainer.
31:13
Uh children born into married households are far
31:16
less likely to be poor.
31:18
In 2021, the federal government reported that 6.8%
31:22
of children in married households lived in poverty.
31:26
In female headed households with no male spouse,
31:30
that number jumps to 31.1%.
31:36
31% as opposed to 6.8%.
31:42
I mean, you can't tell me that there's
31:44
not a correlation here.
31:48
I mean, you could, but uh you'd be
31:50
denying the plain numbers that are right in
31:52
front of your face.
31:56
And again, like I don't want people to
31:59
hear him and say that, well, marriage automatically
32:02
makes life easier for people.
32:05
That's not what he's saying.
32:08
He's talking about stability here.
32:10
He's talking about kids not being passed from
32:13
you know, the whole shared kid movement, where
32:16
kids are passed from one parent's house to
32:19
the other parent's house, and it and usually
32:22
it's not two different houses, it's three or
32:25
four.
32:29
They get these interesting shared custody deals where
32:33
they get multiple parents, multiple, multiple divorces, multiple
32:36
parents, and these kids are being passed from
32:40
house to house.
32:44
I know I know kids right now that
32:47
they and their siblings live in three different
32:49
houses, three different houses.
32:53
These siblings are spread across.
32:57
I mean, uh in what world does that
33:00
create stability for kids?
33:04
So I happen to agree with them here,
33:06
and I think the statistics are right, and
33:08
there's a reason for it.
33:11
Yeah, life is hard enough.
33:12
I know just with everything we have going
33:15
on, it's really, really difficult with two parents,
33:19
and we've been married for over 20 years,
33:22
and I would consider it a very stable
33:25
home.
33:30
You know, there's very little to no arguing
33:32
in the home.
33:35
I mean, sometimes the siblings go at it,
33:38
but that's that's a normal part of growing
33:40
up being siblings.
33:43
You got to fight with your siblings, but
33:46
we're very, very, very disciplined in not having
33:48
fights and not targeting each other and uh
33:51
teaching our kids to have respect for each
33:54
other and and for adults and for their
33:56
parents.
34:00
Likewise, us parents.
34:02
We have respect for our kids, we listen
34:03
to them.
34:06
We guide them, yes, but we also listen
34:09
to them, we let them share ideas, we
34:13
involve them in decision making for certain things,
34:16
you know, and that kind of stability that's
34:19
that's what helps shape kids, and when that's
34:23
not present, it it gets very, very difficult
34:26
very quickly, and I know just as a
34:30
parent with with a co-partner, my wife is
34:33
my partner.
34:37
She uh we we share parenting.
34:42
It's tough.
34:44
It is really tough.
34:45
And I was just thinking this morning, it's
34:47
so funny because my kid, one of my
34:49
kids, he couldn't find a shirt.
34:51
He was going on a field trip, and
34:53
he's like, I need my shirt.
34:56
And my wife said, Well, why do you
34:58
wait till the last minute?
34:59
She's like, you last minute people, she included
35:00
Last minute people, she included me in that.
35:01
me in that.
35:03
You last minute people drive me crazy.
35:03
You last minute people drive me crazy.
35:07
Well, I couldn't have found a shirt if
35:07
Well, I couldn't have found a shirt if
35:08
it bit me in the behind.
35:08
it bit me in the behind.
35:11
So within like 30 seconds, she finds it.
35:11
So within like 30 seconds, she finds it.
35:14
She's like, it was all the way at
35:14
She's like, it was all the way at
35:15
the bottom of the hamper.
35:15
the bottom of the hamper.
35:17
I wouldn't have even thought to look there.
35:17
I wouldn't have even thought to look there.
35:21
And so she threw it in the dryer,
35:21
And so she threw it in the dryer,
35:23
and it was a little bit smelly, and
35:23
and it was a little bit smelly, and
35:24
she threw a dryer sheet in there, and
35:24
she threw a dryer sheet in there, and
35:26
like he had to go in like three
35:26
like he had to go in like three
35:28
minutes to leave for this feedback.
35:28
minutes to leave for this field trip.
35:30
So time was limited.
35:32
She didn't have time to clean the shirt.
35:34
And then she sprayed it and made it
35:36
smell decent.
35:38
She's like, this will just have to get
35:39
you have to get you by.
35:42
And I was taking him to the bus,
35:45
and I just thought, man, I don't know
35:47
that I could parent by myself.
35:50
Like I would literally be lost without her.
35:52
And I'm pretty sure she would, I mean,
35:54
she's expressed it to me.
35:55
She feels the same way about me.
35:58
You know, when you co-parent together and you're
36:00
in the same home.
36:03
It's it's it's a joy to share responsibilities.
36:08
And it's it's so tough when you do
36:10
it by yourself, but then when the kids
36:12
are being passed from home to home to
36:14
home, it gets really, really difficult.
36:18
So Pastor Corey Brooks is he's right.
36:22
Changing school districts every five minutes.
36:25
That's hard on a kid.
36:27
Moving in and out of homes.
36:31
It's tough.
36:33
Kids need stability.
36:37
They need structure.
36:39
They need guidance.
36:40
They need mentorship.
36:43
Yeah, they need these things to develop.
36:45
Well, we're coming up on a break here.
36:47
All of our shows do go to podcast
36:48
the next day after the broadcast is heard
36:49
on talk radio.
36:51
You can hear them on your favorite podcast
36:52
app.
36:53
Be sure to subscribe, rate the show, and
36:55
share it.
36:58
Visit the story at America Outloud.news and use
37:00
the code out loud for 20% off.
37:03
We'll be right back.
37:04
Virus protection and immune boosting just got easier.
37:07
Enter the daily V stack using cellular absorption
37:09
technology.
37:11
We put vitamins A, C, D, zinc, and
37:13
Quircetin together with a multi-mineral complex for complete
37:16
protection.
37:19
The Daily V Stack is basically an oral
37:21
IV of six products all in one at
37:23
an affordable price.
37:25
Go to ChemicalfreeBody.com forward slash out loud, get
37:28
the daily V stack, protect yourself, boost your
37:31
immune system, and save 20% on your first
37:33
order.
37:36
Have you been looking for a healthy snack
37:38
for on the go?
37:40
Well, not all energy bars are soft and
37:42
sugary.
37:44
Bear bars or a crunchy savory bar made
37:47
from just six simple natural ingredients.
37:51
Bear bars are plant-based, organic gluten-free, contain six
37:54
grams of protein and are low temperature dried
37:57
for unique crunch.
38:00
Most energy bars are based on chocolate or
38:02
fruit and are held together with syrups or
38:04
sweeteners.
38:07
To learn more, just visit barebar.com slash out
38:09
loud.
38:12
I'm Doug Evans, author of the Sprout Book.
38:15
And I've devoted my life to helping people
38:18
reconnect with food at its most alive stage.
38:21
The sprout.
38:22
When you germinate a seed, you're not just
38:25
growing food, you're activating potential.
38:28
Sprouts grow without soil, sunshine, or fertilizer right
38:31
on your kitchen countertop.
38:34
They're organic, fresh, and cost less than a
38:36
dollar a serving.
38:38
It's nature's fastest form of farming, accessible to
38:41
anyone anywhere.
38:43
Discover the joy of growing your own food
38:46
and the power of living nutrition.
38:48
Visit the sprouting company.com and use the code
38:51
out loud for an exclusive offer.
39:04
And he's absolutely right.
39:05
This is it's a problem.
39:07
And we're telling ourselves the lie that it
39:09
doesn't really matter, that it's not that important,
39:11
that we just kind of brush it off.
39:14
I remember one person telling me uh about
39:16
how she had recently got married, and she
39:19
said, you know, in the end, I don't
39:21
know.
39:24
Because I asked her if she was excited
39:25
about it.
39:26
Because usually it like there used to be
39:29
a time where girls would daydream about getting
39:31
married.
39:33
Like it was it was the coolest thing
39:35
and it was amazing, and it was it
39:36
was life-changing and Prince Charming and all that
39:38
stuff, and she kind of shrugged her shoulders
39:40
and she goes, eh.
39:42
She's like, it was okay.
39:44
She's like, whatever, it's just a piece of
39:45
paper.
39:47
I was like, wow, it's just a piece
39:49
of paper.
39:52
And I and she's not the only one
39:54
who's ever told me that.
39:57
And look at that, and I'm like, man,
40:00
we have really we have minimized marriage.
40:03
We've taken the joy out of it.
40:08
Not generally.
40:09
I mean, I think people still get excited
40:11
about it, but people talk about the the
40:13
way out.
40:15
Like I heard people uh I would do
40:17
premarital counseling with people, and they'd say, well,
40:19
if it doesn't work out, then you know,
40:21
dot dot dot.
40:23
And I'm like, wait, what?
40:24
Why are you even getting married?
40:28
If if that's where your mind is at.
40:32
Well, if things don't work out, then I'll
40:34
I'll go with my plan B.
40:38
Like, you're gonna bring kids into this world
40:41
with that kind of a mindset that if
40:43
things don't work out, then you know, I'll
40:46
just I'll I'll live, I'll live single or
40:48
I'll get remarried, or you know, they would
40:51
have all kinds of colorful things, all these
40:53
big ideas, and I'm like, how about I'm
40:56
gonna marry the person who I know is
40:58
the right person.
41:02
And we're gonna work on sticking it out.
41:05
And yes, if that person turns out to
41:07
be abusive, or that person uh disappoints, I
41:10
mean, anything can happen in life, anything can
41:12
happen.
41:15
And I'm not naive to that fact at
41:17
all.
41:19
Yeah, then you figure out options.
41:23
But going into marriage with the idea that,
41:26
well, we'll see if this works out.
41:29
Let's just see if this works.
41:32
Yeah, it's almost always gonna, it's gonna fail.
41:37
If that's your mindset going into it.
41:40
But Pastor Brooks says that we we keep
41:43
running around like chickens with their heads cut
41:46
off, screaming about how white supremacy is the
41:49
biggest driver of iniquities in our nation.
41:53
But he says getting married and staying married
41:55
would do far more than most, if not
41:58
all, policies to lower disparities.
42:02
But here's the key thing for me that
42:02
But here's the key thing for me that
42:04
I know from personal experience.
42:05
I know from personal experience marriage stabilizes men,
42:06
Marriage stabilizes men.
42:09
it gives them a higher value than self
42:10
It gives them a higher value than self-worship
42:12
worship or the glamour of gang life.
42:13
or the glamour of gang life.
42:16
I've seen marriage move men away from crime
42:16
I've seen marriage move men away from crime.
42:19
when a man stands at that altar before
42:19
When a man stands at that altar before
42:22
God and commits to a wife and children.
42:22
God and commits to a wife and children.
42:26
He is swearing to a higher way of
42:26
He is swearing to a higher way of
42:28
life.
42:28
life that's greater than any miserable gang can
42:31
provide.
42:34
I can't speak to this.
42:36
I don't know anybody who's been in gangs.
42:38
I live in backwoods country, uh, Pennsylvania, so
42:42
you know I'll take his word for it.
42:47
But I know my marriage, and I I
42:49
can I I can guarantee a lot of
42:52
people feel this way.
42:56
When you bring kids into the world, you
42:59
do everything in your power to push through
43:01
all the hard days, and we've had a
43:04
lot of hard days.
43:11
You do it for the sake of the
43:12
kids.
43:14
I love my wife and my kids.
43:17
I would do anything for them.
43:18
I would give my life for them.
43:23
But they're still, as Pastor Brooks points out,
43:26
still professors, activists, pundits who insist on the
43:30
lie that fathers don't matter.
43:34
They say love is love.
43:36
As long as somebody cares, the structure of
43:38
the family doesn't matter.
43:41
We're warned about masculinity as if it were
43:44
the devil that needs to be slayed.
43:49
Toxic masculinity, we hear about that all the
43:51
time.
43:52
I don't even know what that means.
43:56
Toxic masculinity.
43:59
Now I've heard men talk about being protectors.
44:04
Saying that very thing.
44:05
I would lay my life down for my
44:07
wife and my kids.
44:08
Oh, that's toxic masculinity.
44:13
How is that toxic masculinity to say I
44:16
would lay my life down to defend my
44:18
wife and my kids?
44:23
Not just my wife and my kids, but
44:25
my my community.
44:28
How is that toxic masculinity?
44:30
But this is what's being taught at a
44:31
lot of universities.
44:35
That you can't talk about being a protector
44:38
because that's that's too masculine.
44:42
It just doesn't make sense.
44:46
And I think he's absolutely right.
44:48
I think this ability and this desire to
44:51
change and to be a changed man.
44:54
And I'm speaking as a man.
44:57
This desire to be a changed person.
45:03
And to be selfless, to give yourself to
45:05
others.
45:07
It's a beautiful thing.
45:10
It's absolutely beautiful.
45:13
And that's what's missing in a lot of
45:14
American homes.
45:18
People just brush it off like, well, marriage
45:20
doesn't, it doesn't matter.
45:23
What are you talking about?
45:25
Living together?
45:26
Being in the same home.
45:29
Like actually parenting together.
45:33
That's toxic masculinity.
45:34
That's white supremacy.
45:39
So he goes on, he kind of finishes
45:41
up by saying to be a father is
45:43
one of the highest callings a man can
45:45
have on this earth.
45:48
To be a father means you're responsible for
45:50
the lives you bring into this world.
45:53
You created life.
45:57
And it's your duty to mold that life
46:00
into a mind capable of character, courage, and
46:03
real freedom.
46:08
Amen.
46:10
Amen.
46:13
So he said the first step.
46:17
Back to this.
46:18
It's really simple.
46:20
Tell the truth.
46:22
Fathers matter.
46:24
And our children can not flourish without them.
46:30
And it's just such a bold, it's a
46:32
bold stance.
46:34
It's a bold statement.
46:36
And this used to be the norm.
46:39
This didn't used to be controversial.
46:42
But now you say these kinds of things,
46:45
and people are like, oh, you're a, you
46:47
know, you're a toxic masculinity, toxic masculinity.
46:51
And then they automatically turn to the success
46:54
stories of single moms or single dads who
46:56
raise kids.
47:04
See, this mom raised kids and they're perfectly
47:07
good kids.
47:10
Yeah, granted, it absolutely happens.
47:14
There are some mothers who are wearing both
47:15
hats.
47:17
And they do it successfully.
47:20
They raise their children very, very successfully.
47:23
And they can and they should be commended.
47:28
100%.
47:29
They should be honored.
47:32
We should honor them.
47:33
We should congratulate them.
47:34
We should help support them in any way
47:36
that we can.
47:38
We should acknowledge them.
47:40
One thousand percent.
47:44
But that's not the norm.
47:49
It's very, very difficult to raise a kid
47:51
on your own.
47:54
And it's about time that men stand up.
47:58
They need to step up.
47:59
They need to take responsibility.
48:02
If you're responsible enough to bring a kid
48:05
into this world, you ought to be responsible
48:08
enough to get married.
48:12
And to provide.
48:15
And to create a stable home.
48:18
And a mentor your kid.
48:21
And a teacher kid about honor.
48:24
And teach your kids about respect.
48:28
And to teach your kids how to treat
48:30
women.
48:34
How to be kind, compassionate, gracious.
48:39
Not belittling people, not that's toxic masculinity.
48:46
When people belittle, when a man belittles a
48:49
woman, verbally assaults her, talks down to her,
48:53
diminishes her in any way.
49:00
Terrible.
49:02
And it ought to be called out.
49:02
And it ought to be called out.
49:05
But when they can cohabitate together, when they
49:05
But when they can cohabitate together, when they
49:08
can uh be parents together and be loving
49:09
can uh be parents together and be loving
49:12
spouses together and create a home together.
49:13
spouses together and create a home together, it
49:16
It provides an amount of stability for those
49:17
provides an amount of stability for those kids
49:19
kids that's it's it's unmatched.
49:21
that's it's it's unmatched, it's absolutely fantastic.
49:23
It's absolutely fantastic.
49:26
And I hope, I pray that this nation
49:26
And I hope, I pray that this nation.
49:29
starts going back in the right direction.
49:32
And I'm I'm hopeful.
49:33
I'm really hopeful that it will.
49:36
A lot of people are going back to
49:37
old traditions.
49:39
They've kind of been there done that.
49:42
They've seen things fall apart, and they've they've
49:45
heard all the nonsense that comes out of
49:48
a lot of our universities.
49:52
And I just don't buy it.
49:54
And I think that's good.
49:55
I think that uh it's a good push
49:57
in the right direction.
49:59
But it's going to take time.
50:00
It's going to take time to turn this
50:01
ship around.
50:03
And keep in mind, it's been decades, decades
50:06
of people talking about how well family family
50:08
life doesn't really matter.
50:12
Having a two-parent home, having a mom and
50:15
a dad, having a traditional marriage where you
50:18
actually stay together, you actually stay with each
50:21
other forever.
50:24
That doesn't that doesn't matter.
50:27
What matters is you're happy as long as
50:29
everybody's happy.
50:31
And so this has been packaged and given
50:33
to us on a platter.
50:36
And it's doing a lot of damage in
50:38
the lives of kids.
50:39
The kids are the ones who suffer.
50:45
You know, Jesus was very clear when it
50:47
came to the protection of kids.
50:50
Crystal clear.
51:07
When it came to protecting children, Jesus went
51:10
lethal.
51:13
He was not playing games.
51:15
He was not playing cat patty cake with
51:16
people.
51:19
Jesus came out swinging.
51:22
And essentially what he was saying is, don't
51:24
you dare to do anything that would cause
51:26
this kid to stumble.
51:29
That would cause this kid confusion that would
51:32
cause this kid to get into a bad
51:35
lifestyle that would cause this kid to join
51:39
a gang that would cause this kid to
51:42
turn violent, that would cause this kid to
51:45
numb the pain with alcohol and drugs, to
51:48
cause this kid to be in a living
51:51
in poverty when opportunity abounds.
51:56
Don't you dare cause one of these little
51:58
ones of mine to stumble.
52:02
You know, in that expression, it would be
52:04
better for somebody to have this large millstone
52:06
tied around their neck.
52:08
It's a very graphic scene that he paints,
52:11
and it's meant to be.
55:45
Basically, you better get your act together and
55:47
treat each other well.
55:50
And when that happens, as God designed it
55:54
to, it creates a lot, a lot, a
55:57
lot of stability.
56:00
Of stability.
56:02
And that, my friends, is the hidden lightness.
56:02
And that, my friends, is the hidden lightness.
56:06
There are a lot of good examples out
56:07
There are a lot of good examples out
56:08
there.
56:08
there.
56:09
A lot of families that are setting a
56:09
A lot of families that are setting a
56:11
really, really good example.
56:11
really, really good example.
56:13
A lot of people who I'm sure all
56:13
A lot of people who I'm sure all
56:15
of us admire in our life.
56:15
of us admire in our life.
56:17
And uh we ought to look to them
56:17
And uh, we ought to look to them
56:18
for advice.
56:18
for advice.
56:19
We ought to seek advice.
56:19
We ought to seek advice, all of us.
56:21
All of us.
56:23
Well, you can find more out about my
56:23
Well, you can find more out about my
56:24
show again.
56:25
show again, all the latest podcasts.
56:25
All the latest podcasts if you go to
56:26
If you go to the many navigation bar
56:27
the many navigation bar at America Outlaw.new.
56:29
at americaoutlaud.news under our shows or schedule.
56:32
You'll be in the know.
56:33
There is a hidden lightness that shines inside
56:34
of all of us.
56:36
When there's so much darkness that envelops the
56:38
world, remember that it doesn't take much light
56:40
to expose that darkness and to ultimately inspire
56:42
other people.
56:44
Join me in being a light.