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308 - This ONE Thing Will Keep You From Being Successful with Human Design · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

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Welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, the show dedicated to
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helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to
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flow without sacrificing results.
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Come here to become an unshakeable human and build an unshakeable business
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according to your human design.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
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Hello and welcome to Unshakeable with Human Design, everybody.
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I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and today we're going to dive into the topic
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of one thing that's keeping you from being successful with human design,
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that's keeping you from being magnetic.
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I want to talk about this one thing, because this is something
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I've been teaching the Authority Accelerator Masterclass.
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I taught it all last week, and it has been so much fun.
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And it has been such an incredible experience.
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Have you guys watched The Perfect Couple on Netflix?
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There's that song, that Meghan Trainor song, like, Anything that feels this good.
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It must be illegal.
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That's how I feel about this masterclass.
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I've had so much fun in there with everybody.
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And it has just, the feedback, the energy that I'm getting back has been amazing.
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And in session two of the Authority Accelerator Masterclass,
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I talk about magnetism.
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Like that's what the session is kind of about.
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It's about being an authority to yourself and where magnetism really comes from.
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And I break it down in pretty great detail.
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And I talk about how human design helps you become magnetic.
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I talk about what magnetism is and the role that it plays in our business.
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And there's too much for me to cover here.
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And if you want to go back and watch the replays, they are
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up for a couple of more days.
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So please go do that.
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All you have to do to register is just DM me Masterclass on Instagram.
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I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial, or go to nicolelaino.com/masterclass.
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You register there and you'll get the replay link sent to you right away.
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So you can go watch it if you want to dive fully into it.
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But I wanted to dive into this one concept because I never know in these
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sessions, in these masterclasses, I never know what the reaction is going to be.
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I never know what people are really going to grab onto.
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I try to make these new for me and for the participants every single time.
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Like, I revisit the content every time.
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Sometimes I change a little.
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This time I changed a lot from previous masterclasses.
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I really shifted the way that I'm embodying this message the way that
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I'm understanding it, the way that it's hitting me, so it comes out differently.
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Like, I rewrote a lot of it.
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So I never know what people are going to attach to.
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I never know what's going to be their big takeaway, but we always ask.
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And this was everybody's big takeaway.
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There was so much of this that I think stood out, and what was
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really grabbing people and was like a big light bulb moment aha.
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And I want to share that with you.
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But what I want to highlight here is, let's talk about magnetism.
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And I've talked about this in previous episodes as well, where we've
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talked about strategy and energy.
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We've talked about masculine and feminine.
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We've talked about brute force and hustle.
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And we've talked about leaning back and being in flow and using your energy
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and magnetism to attract what you want.
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We've talked about all of these concepts.
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And what we're really talking about, and if you listen to this show or you
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were part of the Masterclass, you know my position on this is that you don't
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need strategy or energy, you need both.
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And the strategy part is the 3D world, that's the things that we want, the
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goals, hopes and dreams that we have.
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And then it's always asking that question of, what do we do to get there?
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The 3D world, the strategy side of things is plotting a course.
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It's saying I want to get here, what are the steps that
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I need to take to get there?
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That's what masculine energy does, that's what strategy is all about.
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Masculine energy is traditionally very strategic, linear, planned,
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solid, supportive, right?
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Then we have the energetic side, which is leaning back, flow, letting
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things come to us using our energy.
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And where a lot of times we get forced into exploring the energetic side is
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when the strategic side isn't delivering.
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And I do find that there are certain people, certain types in human design, and
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I don't mean by type, like the five types.
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There are certain aspects of the human design chart that might lend to why some
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strategies don't work so well for you.
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Like if you have a lot of right arrows in your variables.
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If you are more of a righty person, like I am, you'll probably find
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that you need more flow in your life than you need structure.
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And being overly structured, your energy is going to want to find some other way.
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And I do believe that we are all being called more to the energetic side because
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when the strategy doesn't work, or as we shift as a collective, we're noticing
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that the strategies that used to work all the time are not working anymore.
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I talked about this in a recent episode where I talked about like
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this new paradigm in business.
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But we're moving more toward the energetic aspects, and people feel that.
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People feel that we are being called to something different.
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That these cookie cutter strategies that have been out there for so long,
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they're not working the way that they used to, and the buyer has changed.
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The receiver of the information has changed.
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We're they're thinking and feeling deeper into the information
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that they're being given.
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The energetics are what they're tuning into.
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I don't know why, but my intuition is saying not to jump into that anymore.
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Now you could call it experience, that they bought things and they didn't
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get results, so now they are wary.
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I would just call them more discerning.
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But they're also listening with something different.
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They are making decisions with something different.
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It is an energetic game.
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I get a lot of people that are just sort of intrigued by me, and the way
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that I explain things, and they come to me and they are drawn to not just
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what I do, but the way that I do it.
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And who I'm being as I put this out here.
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And people have either an attraction to me, or I'm not for them.
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And that is an unspoken conversation that's happening with us all the time.
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There's always an unspoken conversation happening between you and the
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people you're trying to reach.
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The underneath all of the words that you're saying.
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There is an unspoken conversation that is happening.
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Now, this energetic shift, the shift to more energy than strategy,
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this pull to exploring ourselves and finding new ways to do things.
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We see it a lot, I see it a lot with the over 40 crowd and I look at that
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like almost in your 30s, you know, the biological clock starts ticking.
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I feel like in your 40s the Dharma clock starts ticking.
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That peace inside of you that's calling you to your purpose and saying it's time.
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Not cause you're running out of time, but just, it's time.
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It's time for you to figure out what you're really here for.
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And we're being pulled toward that purpose.
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So we explore things.
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We explore things like human design to get there, because human design
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does open us up to this stuff.
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I think that that's part of the big attraction to this system is the fact
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that it is calling you to probably what's been calling you for a long time.
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It's just giving you a new mechanism.
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Like I look at it, like it's this translator for your intuition.
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It's a way of you being able to look deeply inside of yourself
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and say, Oh, that's the message I've been getting all along.
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It just wasn't clear.
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I didn't understand it.
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It bridges this gap for us, which is why it's so magical.
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But what I find and what I want to focus on is what people are looking to do with
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this and where they get stuck so often.
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And this was, like I said, a huge aha for people inside the Authority
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Accelerator Masterclass in Session 2.
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That a lot of people are still, even though they're following strategy and
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authority, they are following their human design path as they see it.
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And human design I think is very attractive because it does
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give us things to do, right?
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So with strategy- strategy is so appealing because the old way was to say, I want
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to get to here, I want this result, what are the steps that I need to take,
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what do I need to do to get there?
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That feels very safe.
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Our mind loves that.
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It's the game, right?
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The game of success in the 3D world is plot a course, put a spot on
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the map, and figure out what do you need to do in order to get there.
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It was simple.
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Not easy, but simple.
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It was just like, okay, now, burn yourself out and hustle until you reach that point.
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But human design, I think why it's so attractive to people is
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it's this energetic game, but it still gives you things to do.
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Humans love things to do.
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We love to be like, okay, well, what do I need to do?
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Most common question I get in readings is like, okay, what do I do now?
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What do I do now with this?
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And that's a really natural thing for humans to ask and to want to know.
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I certainly wanted to know.
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And the biggest thing that we have to do is observe.
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You have to observe yourself and you follow your strategy and authority.
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There's so much more to it, but at its core, at its base, that is what it is.
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But there's one thing that fucks people up every single time with this.
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And no matter whether you are just starting your human design
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journey or you've been in it for a while, in the beginning, you're
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dealing with this every day.
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As you go in further, what happens is you have longer periods where
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you remain in alignment and then you have moments where you fall off.
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And I want to talk about this.
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Because the thing that fucks people up with following human design,
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with actually doing what needs to be done, or surrendering to
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what needs to be surrendered to.
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What actually screws them up every time and pulls them off course.
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And dims, dulls their magnetism, squashes their success with human
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design, pulls them off their alignment, because we're on alignment.
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When I talk about alignment, I talk about you're on a path to your purpose.
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You were put on that road the moment you were born.
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If you follow strategy and authority, you'll continue to
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stay on that road, on that path.
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It's our mind that pulls us off the path because it says no, you want
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that thing over there that somebody else told you you should want.
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Or you want that thing over there that you've convinced yourself
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is what you want and now you're charting a course to get there.
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But meanwhile, your dharma was to go someplace slightly different
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or maybe radically different.
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I don't know.
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I never know where the path leads.
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None of us do.
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I don't know where my path leads.
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I'm just open and trusting in the fact that if I keep following my process.
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I will get to wherever that is, and wherever that is, is
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for my highest and best good.
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And I understand that sometimes that path will not be comfortable,
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but being unshakable as I call it.
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Being able to trust my own inner authority, which allows me to
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be an outer authority to others.
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To embody this work so I can actually teach it with integrity.
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Is to be able to lean back into that and say, I trust that I'm
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being led and I'm being led by me.
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And if there are moments, that does not mean I make every decision correctly.
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I do not.
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I make bad decisions, sure.
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I just own them, I see them, I recognize them, I process them, and I correct
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them where I can, and I own them where I, can't, and I see them through,
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and I make the best of it, and I make better decisions from that moment on.
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It's feedback.
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Oh, I see where I actually screwed that up.
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For me, it's usually I just didn't wait long enough.
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I didn't wait out my wave long enough.
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I got pushed into making a decision earlier than I should have.
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I got pushed by the outside world to make a decision faster because my mind said I
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was running out of time that that deadline actually mattered and I made a decision
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and it turned out not to be right.
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And if I really look at it, was it really right and not right?
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Or did I make the decision incorrectly?
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Most of the time I look at them like, you got a little pushed there, Nicole.
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You stood up for yourself a little bit, you waited a little bit longer,
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but you really weren't ready.
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And instead of sitting in a maybe and waiting, you said yes, or you said no.
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That's what happens most of the time.
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But 95 percent of the people that I talk to.
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Whether I coach them, or I do readings with them, or I just talk to them about
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human design, talk to people about human design all the time, most people think
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that they're following human design.
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But the thing that they aren't doing, which screws them up every single
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time, is they are not trusting.
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They are not trusting their process.
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They are not surrendered to it.
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And by surrendered, like I always look at human design as giving
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you a process for surrendering.
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Everybody says surrender is necessary for enlightenment,
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for growth, for quantum leaps.
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We have to surrender.
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We have to surrender to what is.
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But I think human design gives us a little bit more of a safety net to
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fall into to say like, Okay, well at least I know what I'm surrendering to.
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To me, I'm surrendering to response.
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I'm surrendering to waiting.
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I'm not surrendering to my conditioning.
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What I find is, the longer you work with HD, and the longer you are in your
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human design process, you'll find that you have longer periods of trusting,
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of surrendering to it, of doing it.
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And then you'll have a pocket where you feel like the world is falling apart.
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And you're questioning everything, and you're confused, and you're
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like, What if it's all wrong?
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You're scared, usually.
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But there's these pockets where you stop trusting, and you
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start to mentally question it.
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And that is what screws everybody up.
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The mental questioning of the process is this low grade frequency
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of not trusting underneath.
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It's like, was that a response?
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Was that a response?
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I don't know if that was a response.
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I think it was a response.
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I'm waiting for a response.
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I'm not getting any responses.
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That is the mind and it will pull you off your course every single time.
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And it fucks up the process.
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It screws you up.
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It messes with you.
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And I get it.
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This is not me yelling at anybody.
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This is me saying, I have been there and I can talk about it because I know it.
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I want to talk about what's happening when the mind kicks in.
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The mind doesn't like not being in control.
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It's very used to that job.
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It likes it.
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It feels safe doing that.
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It is the matrix, the mind, the program, however you want to put it, whatever word
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or label you want to put on there, it It is the matrix, the program, the mind.
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Pulling you back to its power and away from where it doesn't
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feel like it has control.
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You have to keep trusting most of all in those times when you're in
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the wrestling match with the mind.
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And it isn't about struggling with it.
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It's about observing it.
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People always wonder, what do I hire a human design coach for?
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What would I join a program about human design for?
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Why would I need mentorship in this?
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Because it's very difficult to see these things when you're in it.
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It's very difficult to notice the program that you're in
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when you're deep inside of it.
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It really is helpful and life changing when you have somebody who, in those
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moments when you're freaking out, can ask you, where is this coming from?
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Is it coming from your mind's need to be able to see this whole path
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and to understand what's going on?
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Because alignment doesn't really understand things necessarily.
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You're surrendered to the process and trusting that the process is leading you
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somewhere and it's where you wanted or something different, but whatever it is,
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it's better than you could have hoped.
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We have to do that, we have to step out of the way, or you are
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still playing that strategic game.
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And you're wondering why the energy stuff isn't working.
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It's because that frequency of fear that you have going on underneath,
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you're waiting for response, you're waiting for invitations.
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You're freaking out that you're sensitive to all of this information in
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your openness, that you're succumbing to it and you're becoming it.
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You're becoming your conditioning rather than being able to observe it.
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Like I said, this is not me putting anyone down for being in those places.
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That's what it is to be human, learning to live a new way.
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And there are absolutely complications and difficulties and challenges
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that come with each type, with each authority, with each design.
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I call it tension in the chart.
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There's always some sort of challenge that different people have to overcome.
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I have a split definition that pulls me in six directions.
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That was one of my bumpier parts of my road, was figuring out how that
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conditioning was always pulling me, always freaking me out, always causing me to
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invest in people who had those qualities, thinking I needed to get them and someone
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needed to teach me how to be those.
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That was one of mine.
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Other people might be so open that you're pulling in other people's
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energy all the time that you feel so overwhelmed by it that you
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don't know how to get through life.
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But you don't realize that you're thinking about it.
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You're thinking about how uncomfortable you are.
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You're worrying.
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You are magnifying.
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It's actually other people's stuff that you're probably
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feeling and you think it's yours.
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And you're not trusting that you will be recognized or you're not trusting that
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there will be a response on the other end.
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You're not trusting that the thing that you want will come through for you.
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This is the most common thing that I see, you've heard the phrase probably,
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don't quit before the magic happens.
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That so many people will tell you that success is usually right around the
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corner from your biggest breakdown.
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I have certainly been there.
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Quantum leaps don't typically come from like happiness, happiness, growth,
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happiness, happiness, quantum leap.
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It's like happiness.
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Soul, ego, death, where you feel like a dark night of the soul.
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And then you come through that period and you feel like a new person.
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And you just left so much of yourself behind that no longer served you.
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The toughest thing about doing this work is you have to trust to
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keep walking when it gets hard.
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You have to keep trusting.
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It's when trusting matters the most.
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And that's when you lean into your healing tools.
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That's why having nervous system regulation practices.
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That's the reason I meditate.
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I do breath work every single day.
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I do that every day.
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I tap, I do all sorts of things to work through what I'm feeling so that I'm
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able to remain in good clean energy as I go through this, so I'm able to trust.
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So I'm able to when my mind gets scared about will this all work out?
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I can still stay in the energy of I get to have what I want.
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It's this or something better and I keep my energy attached to the
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feeling that I want to create in my life, the life that I want and I'm
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okay with it looking differently than what I have pictured in my head.
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I'm just setting the scene.
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I'm just saying, this is how I wanna feel.
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This is what I'm going after.
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This is how I wanna help.
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This is what I'm trusting in right now, but I'm open to the
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path changing and that's okay.
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I trust.
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That takes a very deep level of self trust.
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But that is why I can be an unshakeable rock for the people that do trust me.
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So if you've fallen into this, I hope that this was useful for you.
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I hope that this gave you some insight into if you're following strategy
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and authority, if you feel like you are following your design, and at
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times you're wondering why it's not working, that you can look at this.
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I hope that this gives you a point of reference for you to notice
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what you have going on internally.
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What is your mental process like?
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Are you questioning?
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Do you have a mental process that's going on that is constantly
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questioning whether it's working, how it's working, where you're going?
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Are you trying to control alignment?
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It doesn't really work that way.
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And that's okay if you're doing it.
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But can you just shift?
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You don't have to fix it.
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You just have to go from being unconsciously on
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autopilot, following that.
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So what I mean by that is, you want to go from being on autopilot, just worrying and
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thinking about this and questioning and being in the energy of, is this working?
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Is this working?
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I don't know.
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Where am I going?
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I'm so scared.
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I'm so worried.
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You go from that unconscious feeling which, usually people feel
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like they're trying to fix it.
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Like they're trying to improve and they're trying to figure things out,
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but they don't realize that they're actually just feeding the beast of fear.
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And instead you don't have to fix it.
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What I hope this does is it gets you to just pause and go, Oh, there's
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that thing Nicole was talking about.
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What if I just stopped now and observed it?
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What if I got quiet and observed it?
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What if I felt all the feelings that I'm feeling right now
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and actually processed them?
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This is what I teach inside my Business by Design mentorship.
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This is what we focus on.
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It's the, how do you become the most self actualized, regulated, energy
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efficient, and purpose filled.
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version of yourself and then also giving you the tools to build a business
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because we do still live in the 3D world.
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We do still need to eat and feed our families and pay our bills and live in
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homes and all of that stuff and we also get to have fun with our money, too.
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We get to be abundant.
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We get to be successful.
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But can we do it in a way that's nurturing to us and serves our purpose?
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That's the goal.
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And that's what we try to marry inside the program.
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So I hope that you saw a little glimpse into how this piece works.
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And this is a core foundation of living in alignment, of being magnetic,
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of being an authority, and really being successful with human design.
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The key to your success with human design is really trusting in the
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process and allowing and trusting that being magnetic does happen.
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That you are magnetic when you are in the energy of who you're meant to be.
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And if you're not finding that you are magnetic and you're not attracting
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what you want, I hope this gives you something to look at to say, Am I
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doing that thing Nicole mentioned?
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That's interesting.
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And just see what you find there and take a pause.
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I hope you found this helpful.
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I hope that it inspires you to jump into the masterclass and check this out.
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If you liked this.
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You can go into the entire session where I break the whole thing down and really
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walk you through this whole process and I break down how this looks for
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each of the types inside session two.
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All you have to do to register is to go to nicolelaino.com/masterclass.
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You could register on the website or you could DM me masterclass on Instagram.
23:00
I'm @NicoleLainoOfficial, and we'll just register you right
23:03
there in the DMs and then you'll get an email with the replay link.
23:07
Simple.
23:07
All right.
23:08
Thank you so much for being here.
23:09
I appreciate you.
23:10
And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must
23:13
first become an unshakable human.
23:15
So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design, everyone.
23:19
We'll see you next time.
23:21
If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show
23:23
us the love on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to
23:26
the show and leave us a review.
23:27
And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human
23:30
design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
23:35
Go to nicolelaino.
23:36
me forward slash podcast links to join the group, book a human
23:40
design reading with me, or access our free human design resources.
23:44
We'll see you there.