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Christ and Fathers · Providence Baptist Church - Sermons

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Good morning.
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How are we doing on this Great Father's Day?
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Outstanding.
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Alright, it is a great privilege to be here this morning and to be able to share with you.
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First of all, I want to thank Nathan and Chris for teeing the ball up way high for me,
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putting the biggest driver they could find in my hand,
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and standing me in front of the straightest fairway there ever was
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by asking me to preach on this particular day.
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Because as he said, for the last five months or so,
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I've been working diligently with the guy in the back of the room
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in creating a website especially for dads.
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And it's actually called DadsTheKey.com.
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DadsTheKey.com.
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And for the past 26 years, I've been working many times with the Lord's help
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at being a parent, being a dad.
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And it's been quite a challenge, but quite an awesome privilege as well.
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Alright, dads.
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They made it easy for you to leave you away because the kids came out to you.
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I'm asking you to come down here to the front and stand to start off here this morning.
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All fathers, get on down here.
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Get on down here and stand.
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And stand down here until I tell you otherwise.
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Now, just make your way across here.
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My goodness.
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It's awesome.
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Stand right here.
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That's good.
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You can look out at the crowd.
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You can look out at the crowd.
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That's fine.
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Now, just to get an idea of who all I have to actually preach to this morning,
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I want to also ask a few other people to stand.
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That is, would the wives of all these men up here please stand and remain standing?
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Okay.
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Excellent.
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Wives of all those.
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And next, I would like to ask if we have any single young men
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who have the slightest inkling of desire to be a husband and perhaps father one day,
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would you please stand?
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Alright, we've got some bold men here this morning.
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And last, but certainly by no means least,
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if we have any single young women with the slightest inkling of desire
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to be married to a great husband and father one day to their children,
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would you please stand?
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Alright, great.
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Congratulations for being bold this morning and standing.
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Alright, thank you for standing.
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That looks like I've got a great audience to preach to this morning
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because what I have to share applies to each and every one of you.
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Okay?
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Everyone but the dads can be seated.
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Alright?
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Alright?
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And, um, now dads, it is a known fact, okay,
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that our day will never equal, much less exceed,
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the glitter, the glamour, and the attention of our counterpart's special day.
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Right?
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Okay?
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We just, we just have to accept that fact.
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Okay?
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As they are indeed the glue that holds the family together.
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Alright?
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Alright?
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But even that great philosopher and spokesman for the family himself,
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Jim Carrey, said that behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
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Okay?
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Okay?
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Okay?
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Okay?
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Yes, we can look to Jim Carrey for a lot of great wisdom.
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But, men, I do want you to know that I come bearing gifts.
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You've already received some gifts this morning,
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but I have another special gift for you.
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And that is, my favorite daily devotional.
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It's called The Word for You Today.
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And it's put together by Bob Gass Ministries.
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Bob Gass and his ministry is located in Alpharetta, Georgia.
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So I want you to have a complimentary copy.
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And you can order those if you want to continue to get those.
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You can, I've been using this with my family for the last few years
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and have thoroughly loved it.
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It's a great in-the-car, on-the-way daily devotional
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that Grant and I are using on a regular basis.
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But I love this and I want to give that to you as well.
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And in case, you know, you still would like to have another gift,
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I've got one more gift for you at the end of the service.
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As you go out, look for Joel Whetstone.
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He's going to be handed out to you as we go.
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It's going to kind of be a summary of the message.
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Okay?
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Let's give them a round of applause here.
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Thank you, dads.
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Thank you.
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All right.
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All right.
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We're working with a clicker that hopefully is going to work for us.
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And if not, as it's not right now, my trustee, John.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Charles Steinmetz.
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I'm sure you're all familiar with Charles Steinmetz.
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Charles Steinmetz was an electrical engineer with an enormous intellect.
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Okay?
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At the time of his death, he held over 200 patents.
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I don't know about y'all, but I'm still working on my first,
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and I'm not doing very well at it.
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Okay?
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Okay.
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After retiring, Steinmetz was asked by a major appliance manufacturer to locate a malfunction
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in their electrical equipment, something that none of their experts had been able to do.
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So Steinmetz agreed to do that, and he spent some time walking around and testing the various parts of the machine complex.
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And finally, after a period of time, he took a piece of chalk out of his pocket,
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and he marked an X on a specific part of one machine.
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The manufacturer's people disassembled the machine, and to their utter amazement,
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found that the defect lay precisely where Steinmetz had placed the X.
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Several days later, the company received a bill for $10,000.
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Now, mind you, this was back in the early 1900s.
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Okay?
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So that had to be probably equivalent to about $100,000 or more today.
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Okay?
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Received a bill for $10,000.
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Well, they protested the amount and asked him to itemize it.
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So Steinmetz sent back an itemized bill, which said,
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making one chalk mark, $1.
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Knowing where to place that chalk mark, $9,999.
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Now, I love that illustration.
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Okay?
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Almost any time I preach, I'm able to find a way to use it.
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Okay?
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Absolutely love it.
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But it never hurts to be highly skilled at what you do, does it?
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Never does.
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Steinmetz knew that he knew where to place that X.
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And you may think this is rather arrogant for me to say today,
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but I declare to you today that I know exactly where the problem
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and the solution lies with our country today.
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I know exactly where it is.
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And so if you have a direct line to the White House and President Obama or to the Congress,
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you may want to give them a call and let them know that contrary to all the polls and the sound bites,
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pardon the English, it ain't about the economy, stupid.
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Okay?
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No, but rather the problem and the solution in our country lies with the most important person
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within the most vital of the three institutions that God has ordained here on earth,
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and that is fathers in the home.
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And that's where I want to focus my attention for the next few hours,
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I mean minutes, that we have on this special Father's Day.
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But I want to talk about what makes a great father.
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A father that is honored and revered for being the leader that genuinely loves,
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encourages, directs, and fights for each member on his family team.
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And I believe the ingredients that make up what a great father is are found in a model that I created
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while putting together my website that I call the five core values for dads.
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And, you know, I don't know how many of you saw the great movie recently, Act of Valor,
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about the Navy SEALs.
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How many of you saw that movie?
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Fantastic movie.
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My son and I, we've only seen it about three or four times now.
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All right, but early in that movie, one of the Navy SEALs, he said,
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we all need a code, an ethos to live by.
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And I couldn't agree more.
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And the five core values are my code to live by as a man of God,
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as a husband, and as a father,
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and are what I want to present to the fathers of this country,
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beginning with the fathers here at Christ Family Church,
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in hopes that in some small or great way,
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God might use them to revive and restore the heart of the home.
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So let's look first.
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The first core value that I want to share with you
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is that a great father establishes his life and his family
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on the sure and trusted foundation of the Word of God,
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the Holy Bible, which will endure forever.
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Now, dads, you don't have to take perfect notes on this
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because at the end, you're going to have a compilation of these five core values
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as a final gift from me here this morning.
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But Webster, Noah Webster in his 1828 dictionary,
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he defined foundation as the basis or groundwork of anything,
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that on which anything stands and by which it is supported.
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Now, you know, think about this.
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Whatever facet of life that we're talking about,
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whether we're talking about a physical home,
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a tall skyscraper building,
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or a sports team, or a church,
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or even an individual life,
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of all the particular individual parts and pieces that it takes
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to put those together,
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foundation is the absolute most important thing.
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Everything else hangs or falls on it.
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Okay?
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And we're talking here today about who or what we look to
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as our source of authority for life.
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And I've got to tell you, folks,
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I mean, I could talk the entire rest of the morning on this one point.
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I mean, to me, there are so many great truths and rich principles to mine
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from just this one point right here about the foundation.
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So important.
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But for the sake of time, I don't have that time.
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But one of the greatest illustrations that Jesus ever gave,
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and probably the best He gave,
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as far as the importance of the foundation that we build our lives upon,
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is in Matthew 7, 24 through 27.
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And let's read this together.
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I love it.
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It is, Jesus said,
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and this was at the very end of the Sermon on the Mount.
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Jesus said,
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Now, I see a cause and effect relationship in that passage right there.
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And let's look at that.
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Okay?
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The first cause is Jesus is talking about the person who hears and does the Word of God.
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And He likens that person to a wise man who builds his house upon a rock.
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What is the effect of that person's life and decisions?
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Well, his house and his life stands firm amidst rough weather and the hard times.
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Now, conversely, the person who hears and ignores the Word of God,
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they hear it, but then they just go on about their way,
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as though there's no relatively little, if any, importance to it.
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That man is like a foolish man who builds his house upon the sand.
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And the effect of that is that his house and his life falls flat amidst the rough weather and the hard times.
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You know, I've walked on sand as early as yesterday.
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We came back from a week in Panama City.
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And I was walking on sand as early as yesterday.
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And two things I know relative to sand that you know as well.
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Number one, it's a horrible thing to build a house upon.
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Okay?
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And in comparison, Jesus is saying the person who builds his house on the sand,
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that is, who hears but does not do his Word, is equally as foolish.
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And you can't build a life upon that as well, hearing and ignoring the Word of God.
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You know, according to Jesus, there are only two foundations in life that we as human beings can build our lives upon.
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We can build our lives upon man and his foolish reason,
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or we can build it upon God and his infinite wisdom.
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Now, think about it with me.
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Where do we see or where can we see these two foundations lived out today?
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And the effect and the result of those.
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You know, occasionally we hear about people who are basing their lives and living their lives on the Word of God.
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And we rejoice in that.
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We get excited about that.
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But more frequently, we hear and read every day of people who built their lives upon the sand of man's foolish reason.
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Of what I call the four Ps, the things of the world.
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So, popularity, pleasure, possessions, and power and position.
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Okay?
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And, you know, we are hearing and ignoring the Word of God.
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And you know what?
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The result of those that we see are either their lives collapse, as we saw in the last couple of months.
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One, a former pro bowler in the NFL, Junior Seau, that probably you guys in particular remember.
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He committed suicide.
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You know, as early as a couple of months ago.
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His lives collapsed before the public.
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But for those whose lives don't just collapse, you know, they end up, they're revealed to just be more or less empty.
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Okay?
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And, you know, there's one comparison here, you know, today in this day and age in which we live,
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that's being played out, no pun intended, on the football field.
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And that is between Tim Tebow and Tom Brady.
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Last year they met together shaking hands for the very first time at, you know, at the 50-yard line.
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Okay?
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Many of you guys in here, you know, I know are football fans.
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And we all know about Tim Tebow's life, or at least all that we know about it.
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Tim Tebow is a shining example of a young man who has based his entire life, thanks to his parents and others around him,
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who based his life on hearing and doing the Word of God.
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Okay?
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His life is built upon the rock.
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But Tom Brady, okay, as much as I love Tom Brady, okay, and he is one of my favorites,
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Tom Brady, let me tell you a little bit about Tom Brady.
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All before the age of 30, he had three Super Bowl rings, two Super Bowl MVP trophies,
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named to the Pro Bowl several times, even a bulleted summary list of his accomplishments can go on for pages.
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He's married to a supermodel, has a contract in the millions.
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And the things that you would expect from a man that many are saying may be the greatest in NFL history.
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Okay?
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Tom Brady embodies the lifestyle of what I call the four Ps.
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Okay?
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Pleasure, popularity, possession, power, and position.
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Tom Brady has it all, guys.
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He has it all.
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And yet, what I want you to hear and see is, in a 60 Minutes interview back in December of 2007,
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Tom Brady expressed the following.
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He said, why do I have three Super Bowl rings and still think there's something greater out there for me?
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I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, hey man, this is what it is.
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I reached my goal, my dream, my life.
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I think, God, it's got to be more than this.
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Can you believe this?
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I mean, this can't be what it's all cracked up to be.
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I love playing football and I love being quarterback for this team.
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But at the same time, I think there are a lot of other parts about me that I'm trying to find.
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And the narrator asked him at the end, what is the answer?
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And Tom Brady says, I wish I knew.
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I wish I knew.
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You know, I just, I read that and I just, I just say a big wow.
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Is that not amazing?
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Guys, we have right before us and in an interview five years ago from a man's own lips who has everything the world could ever give him.
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And always will probably.
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And that's what he expressed.
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There's quite a difference between the foundation that Tim Tebow has built his life upon, wouldn't you say?
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Dads, there is nothing more important than making the Word of God the foundation of your life.
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Okay?
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And as my good friend, Robert Andrews, and I'm going to refer to him several times here through his book, The Family.
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Okay?
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Great book that I've had the privilege of reading through and learning a lot from him.
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He says there is a big difference between saying that you believe the Bible and actually living it out and putting it into practice.
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And I want to show you one other thing here, guys.
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And this to me is what it means to make the Word of God the foundation of your life.
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Every thought, fathers, every thought, plan, and decision about yourself, your marriage, your family, your finances, your vocation, your recreation is run through the filter of the Word of God.
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And it comes out that you have a commitment that you're going to do exactly what the Word of God says and exactly how it says to do it.
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And you're going to avoid exactly what the Word of God says to avoid.
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That to me is what it means to make the Word of God the foundation of your life.
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Not just saying it, but actually living it out.
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And one last thing I would say on this point is keep in mind, fathers, it is not just your life and eternity at stake.
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It's the lives and eternities of multiple generations that will be following in your footsteps.
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Okay?
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Very important.
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Now, now that we've laid the proper foundation for you dads, we need to put the framing and the walls in place.
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Okay?
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And that's the second core value.
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And that second core value is that a great father embraces his God-ordained role as head of the home.
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And the delegated authority God has given him to carry out that responsibility with firm and compassionate leadership.
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You know, there are many things that husbands and wives can base their view of family and their roles in it on.
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And Robert Andrews mentions in his book several.
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Our original family upbringing, which is the number one influence.
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Also, movies and TV, i.e. Hollywood, pop psychology, peers around us, trial and error.
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And lastly, the church.
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But don't be deceived because the church can be very unhelpful and confusing here.
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Okay?
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But did you know that God has clearly laid out a divine authority structure for the family?
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He has.
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He has laid out a divine authority structure and is found in 1 Corinthians 11.3.
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And that passage says, Paul says,
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But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ,
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and the head of the woman is the man,
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and the head of Christ is God.
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It's all in there.
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It's amazing.
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And there's the divine authority structure.
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We have God the Father, Jesus Christ, man.
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I changed woman to wife because, men, you know,
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God obviously doesn't intend that we be the head of every woman,
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nor can we be, right?
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I mean, it's a big enough job to be the head of one, right?
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And I added children because of the obvious passages in the New Testament
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about children being under the rule and the authority of their parents.
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But there is our divine authority structure.
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And I do want to say, like in the divine family,
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the authority structure in the earthly family,
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it relates to function and not to value or worth,
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not to the value or the worth of the individual.
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And how wonderful that is, but the world doesn't seem to get that, do they?
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Whenever we start talking about the men being the heads
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and the authorities in the home,
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what do the women and others in the world start saying?
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They start crying out, you know, suppression,
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and that sort of thing, okay?
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It's a misunderstanding of God's ideal
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in this whole authority structure that we have.
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But there can be some challenges, dads,
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to fulfilling this divine authority structure.
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First of all, there could be a lack of leadership on your part.
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There is a syndrome that I refer to as strong at work, weak at home.
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Okay?
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That jumps on a lot of men.
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I mean, man, they can go to work
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and they can have the mentality, it's get her done.
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And then once they pull up to the house and walk in,
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it's let her do it.
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A big difference.
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Big difference.
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Get her done at work, let her do it at home.
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Alright?
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And that can easily lead to a second challenge,
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and that is a strong-willed wife
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who has natural take-charge abilities
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that maybe has had to take that responsibility in the past,
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and guess what?
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They don't want to give up power in the home.
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Okay?
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Something very serious to think about.
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And the other one is just within our entire society and culture
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is the whole feminist movement
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which hates God's divine authority structure for the family.
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they're all about destroying it
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and doing away with it.
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But you know what?
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Whatever it is, whatever it takes, dads,
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we must assume our role of leadership and authority in the home.
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And to not do so
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simply means that we are outside the will of God
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in that area of our lives.
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And we need to repent,
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and that we need to sit down,
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and we need to have a powwow with our wife,
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maybe even our kids,
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because guys, we can give over power to our kids in the home as well.
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We may have to sit down and have a meeting about that.
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But dads, where do we get our example of leadership from?
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You know, if we're the head of the home,
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where do we get our example of leadership from?
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Who's up above us?
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Jesus Christ.
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Jesus Christ.
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The supreme example of love and servanthood.
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Just as Jesus completely yielded to the will of His Father
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in the divine family,
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we are to yield our will to our head,
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which is Jesus Christ.
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How awesome.
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And just imagine that.
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If that were being played out,
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you know, in every home,
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even in every home of professing believers
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throughout this country,
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what a difference that would make.
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There's no one between us and Jesus Christ.
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There's no church.
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There's no elder.
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No pastor.
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No one or no thing that's in between us.
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And if we're getting our lead from Him,
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our lead and our inspiration from Jesus Christ,
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I believe there's going to be
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much fewer problems and headaches
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for us to have to deal with in that regard.
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So, dads, if you want your home
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to be a place of harmony and great vision,
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we need to follow God's blueprint,
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which is His divine authority structure.
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Now, next, we move on to relationships
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in the kitchen and in the master bedroom
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to continue with the home analogy.
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Okay?
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And that is, thirdly, what makes a great father
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is that he cherishes his wife
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by treating her in words, actions, and attitudes
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with the highest of respect, value, and honor
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following the example of Christ.
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Now, you know what?
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In my work, I'm in insurance
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and I work with people on Medicare.
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So, day in and day out for the last six years,
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I've been visiting in the homes
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of many 65-year-old and up individuals and couples.
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And I can tell you this,
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I've been in several homes
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that the tension between husband and wife,
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you can cut with a knife.
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Now, that's not just a problem
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for 65-year-olds and up, okay?
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It can jump on even young couples, okay?
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Very soon after that wonderful honeymoon,
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if you're not careful.
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And after six years of being in that line of work
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and almost 30 years of being married,
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I can tell you this for sure,
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cherishing our wives, man,
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does not come naturally.
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Wives, can I get an amen on that?
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A soft one.
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Not too loud.
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Don't rub it in.
27:09
Don't make it too hard.
27:11
But you know,
27:11
our human nature works to the contrary.
27:14
The longer we are together,
27:18
it tends to be that the less we cherish one another
27:22
and the more we tend to argue and fight
27:25
and bicker with one another, right?
27:27
That's the way human nature tends to be.
27:29
And why is that?
27:31
Well, it's because anyone that you live with
27:33
for any length of time,
27:35
particularly for years, you know, years on end,
27:37
you come to see them for who they really are.
27:41
Their imperfections, their weaknesses,
27:43
their anxieties,
27:45
and that causes you to tend to be more critical
27:48
than, you know,
27:50
and less cherishing towards them.
27:54
But praise the Lord,
27:56
it's not at all about relying on our human nature,
27:59
is it, Dad?
28:00
Instead, this is about cooperating
28:03
with the divine nature that resides within us.
28:07
Cooperating with the Spirit of God.
28:09
And that's what we have to do, men.
28:11
I mean, this is a spiritual issue.
28:14
And it's all about us
28:15
allowing the Spirit of God
28:19
who lives within us
28:21
to control us by faith
28:23
in our very words, actions, and attitudes.
28:28
You know, God's really convicted me of that
28:29
even going back several months
28:32
as I started putting together the website
28:34
of just the way that I treat Gail.
28:37
And he's doing the work on it.
28:39
Now, he's still working on me, okay?
28:41
And he'll continue to be working on me
28:43
for the rest of my life.
28:45
But thank the Lord,
28:45
I've got a very patient wife.
28:48
But anyway,
28:50
the bottom line is here,
28:51
you know,
28:52
if you're not doing too well at this, Dad's,
28:54
you're either trying too hard yourself
28:57
or you're not trying at all.
28:59
Okay?
29:00
The bottom line,
29:01
it's about that we cannot do this.
29:03
We cannot accomplish this in our own strength.
29:06
Now,
29:07
one of the verses I really love about this
29:10
is 1 Peter 3.7.
29:13
And Peter says in there,
29:15
you husbands likewise,
29:17
live with your wives
29:19
in an understanding way
29:21
as with a weaker vessel
29:23
since she is a woman
29:25
and grant her honor
29:27
as a fellow heir of the grace of life
29:29
so that your prayers
29:31
may not be hindered.
29:32
I'm going over here
29:33
to grab something this morning
29:35
that I all but had to fight
29:37
my wife
29:38
to get it out of the house this morning.
29:41
And I will quote her.
29:44
She said,
29:45
honey,
29:45
that is $150 right there.
29:48
You cannot
29:49
take that out of the house.
29:51
But here it is this morning.
29:53
Okay?
29:54
If I drop it,
29:55
guys,
29:56
please come protect me
29:57
because I'm dead mean.
29:59
Okay?
30:00
You know what?
30:02
Very fragile,
30:04
fine piece of china glassware here.
30:07
Okay?
30:07
Moving these,
30:09
this set last year,
30:10
we wrapped them
30:11
in four to five times
30:14
the normal paper.
30:15
Okay?
30:16
Why did we do that?
30:18
Because they were made
30:21
with TLC,
30:22
tender loving care,
30:23
that's exactly
30:24
how we have to treat them
30:26
or else they'll break.
30:28
Okay?
30:29
You know,
30:29
a hundred pieces of your board.
30:31
And I'll come
30:32
swiftly behind you
30:34
as far as being broken.
30:35
But you know what?
30:38
That is exactly
30:39
what Peter is,
30:40
I believe,
30:41
is getting across here.
30:42
That is exactly
30:43
the same way
30:44
that he's saying,
30:46
man,
30:46
that we need
30:46
to treat our lives.
30:48
We need to treat them
30:49
like they are
30:50
a prized possession.
30:52
We don't use
30:52
these glasses every day.
30:54
We only use them
30:55
on special occasions
30:56
like you do
30:57
in your home.
30:58
Treat them
30:59
like they're
31:00
a prized possession
31:01
like this glass.
31:03
Okay?
31:03
Treat them
31:04
with tender,
31:05
loving care.
31:07
yeah,
31:10
that's why
31:10
I brought that this morning.
31:12
I think I better
31:12
put it right back
31:13
over here.
31:17
Okay.
31:19
But anyway,
31:21
let me share with you
31:22
a couple of practical ways
31:23
to apply this.
31:24
First of all,
31:25
guys,
31:27
I encourage you
31:28
to thank God
31:29
every day
31:29
for your wife's
31:32
unique qualities
31:33
and abilities.
31:34
And I want you to,
31:35
and a great thing
31:36
to do is to treat her
31:37
like you did
31:38
when you first met her
31:41
and you started
31:41
dating her
31:42
and you were trying
31:44
to win her over.
31:45
You were in that
31:46
conquering phase.
31:48
Okay?
31:48
There's a guy
31:49
sitting on the back
31:50
row back there
31:52
in a black shirt
31:52
by the name
31:54
of John Overton.
31:55
John has recently
31:57
just completed
31:59
that conquering phase.
32:01
Okay?
32:01
So we can have
32:02
John come up
32:03
and give us
32:04
a great dissertation
32:07
on that conquering phase.
32:10
He's just gone
32:10
through that.
32:11
He has won
32:12
that girl back there,
32:13
that wonderful girl
32:14
Mallory,
32:15
and they're soon
32:15
to be married.
32:16
But that's one thing,
32:18
guys,
32:18
I want to encourage you
32:19
to do.
32:19
Treat her like you did
32:20
when you were trying
32:21
to win her over.
32:23
And the second thing
32:23
is whether you've
32:24
been married six weeks,
32:26
six months,
32:27
six years,
32:27
or 16 years,
32:29
is guys,
32:30
pick out a pen
32:31
and paper
32:32
and write down
32:33
and make a list
32:34
of all the things
32:36
that you loved
32:37
about your wife
32:38
when you were dating her
32:40
that made you
32:41
want to marry her.
32:42
Okay?
32:43
I think that's one
32:44
of the most important
32:45
and significant things
32:46
to do for any
32:47
young guy
32:48
engaged,
32:49
recently married,
32:50
or whatever.
32:51
Write those things
32:52
down because,
32:53
trust me,
32:54
you will tend
32:55
to forget them
32:56
over time.
32:57
Okay?
32:58
The busyness of life,
33:00
the challenges of life
33:01
will cause you
33:02
to easily forget
33:03
those things
33:04
and you can begin
33:05
to look at her
33:06
as an adversary
33:07
if you're not careful.
33:09
Okay?
33:10
Now,
33:11
guys,
33:12
if there's only one thing
33:13
you remember today,
33:14
I want you to remember
33:15
this next slide,
33:17
this next quote.
33:18
And it is,
33:20
when you're tempted
33:21
to criticize
33:22
your wife's faults,
33:24
remember,
33:25
that it was those
33:26
very faults
33:27
that kept her
33:28
from getting
33:28
a better husband.
33:31
Okay?
33:33
Wives,
33:34
there's another amen
33:34
right there.
33:36
Okay?
33:37
Let's read that
33:37
one more time.
33:38
When you're tempted
33:39
to criticize
33:39
your wife's faults,
33:41
remember,
33:42
it was those
33:43
very faults
33:44
that kept her
33:45
from getting
33:46
a better husband.
33:48
Okay.
33:49
Now,
33:50
on to the other
33:51
bedrooms in your home.
33:54
The fourth core value,
33:56
the fourth thing
33:57
that makes a great father
33:58
is that he covenants
34:00
along with his wife
34:01
to be faithful stewards
34:03
that love their children
34:04
by training
34:05
and equipping them
34:06
with Christ-like
34:07
character and purpose
34:08
in the limited time
34:10
that they are
34:11
entrusted with Him.
34:13
You know,
34:13
the way the world
34:14
views children
34:15
and the way God
34:16
views them
34:17
is totally different.
34:19
Okay?
34:20
The world says
34:21
we have to endure them.
34:23
God wants us
34:24
to enjoy them.
34:26
The world says
34:27
they're largely a burden.
34:28
God wants them
34:29
to be a blessing.
34:31
Amen?
34:32
Okay?
34:33
But it's totally different
34:34
the way the world
34:35
views them
34:35
and the way God does.
34:37
But if you buy
34:38
into a core value
34:40
number one
34:40
and number two
34:41
that we've already
34:41
looked at,
34:42
then seeing children
34:43
as God sees them
34:45
will not be an issue
34:46
for you.
34:47
Okay?
34:47
One of my favorite passages
34:49
in all the Bible
34:51
on children
34:52
is Psalm 127
34:53
verses 3-5.
34:56
There is an incredible
34:57
word picture
34:58
in this passage here.
35:00
Let's read it.
35:01
Behold,
35:02
children are a gift
35:04
of the Lord.
35:05
The fruit of the womb
35:06
is a reward.
35:08
It doesn't sound like
35:08
a burden
35:09
or an endurance
35:11
test right there
35:12
to me,
35:12
the words,
35:13
does it you?
35:15
Get this.
35:15
Here's the word picture.
35:17
Like arrows
35:17
in the hand
35:19
of a warrior,
35:20
so are the children
35:21
of one Jew.
35:23
Think about that.
35:24
Think about that warrior
35:25
pulling back
35:26
that bow.
35:28
Pulling it back
35:29
all he can.
35:30
How blessed
35:31
is the man
35:32
whose quiver
35:32
is full of them.
35:34
They shall not
35:34
be ashamed
35:35
when they speak
35:36
with their enemies
35:37
in the gate.
35:39
Guys,
35:40
as heads
35:41
of our homes,
35:42
we have an incredible
35:43
privilege
35:44
and responsibility
35:45
to make a mark
35:47
on our children.
35:49
And it's not a question
35:50
of whether we'll
35:51
make a mark.
35:52
It's just a question
35:53
of what kind of mark
35:54
we'll make
35:54
and how deep
35:55
that mark,
35:56
how impactful
35:57
that mark will be.
35:59
You know,
36:00
the world can be
36:00
going loony around us
36:02
and I think we'd all
36:03
agree that it is,
36:04
but our homes
36:05
and everything
36:06
that comes in contact
36:07
with our homes
36:08
can be a place
36:09
of peace
36:10
and can be a place
36:11
of great vision
36:12
of being imparted.
36:14
Just a matter
36:15
of what we choose
36:15
to do.
36:16
You know what?
36:17
There are few areas
36:18
where I believe
36:19
the church
36:20
has missed the mark
36:21
more than in the area
36:22
of equipping parents
36:24
for their vital ministry
36:26
of multiplication
36:26
in the home.
36:28
And here's a quote
36:30
I want to share with you.
36:31
I believe that
36:32
the number one
36:33
equipping ministry
36:34
of the church
36:35
should be that
36:36
of equipping parents
36:37
to train their children
36:39
in Christ-like character
36:40
and purpose
36:41
and to extend
36:42
His kingdom
36:43
to the next generations.
36:45
You know,
36:46
why is it that
36:47
much of the modern church
36:48
and particularly
36:49
youth ministry
36:50
today
36:50
sees their role
36:52
as being entertainers?
36:55
Okay?
36:55
Wouldn't you agree
36:56
that?
36:56
That's primarily
36:57
what a lot of churches
36:58
and youth ministry
36:59
see their role
37:00
as today
37:01
is being entertainers.
37:05
Why in the world
37:06
would you feel like
37:08
your job needed
37:10
to be relegated
37:10
to entertaining
37:11
when you understand,
37:13
if we can go back,
37:14
when you understand
37:15
that you've got
37:17
the great vision
37:18
of imparting
37:19
to your children
37:19
just like the arrows
37:21
in the hand
37:22
of a warrior
37:23
that you're shooting out,
37:25
you're aiming
37:26
to shoot out
37:26
straight and sharp arrows
37:29
into the next generation.
37:32
And you have
37:32
that priceless opportunity
37:34
and privilege
37:35
in the children
37:36
that God entrusts to you.
37:38
And it's a very limited time
37:39
as we've said.
37:41
But you know what?
37:41
I think the greatest tragedy
37:42
for a man and a father
37:44
is not that he fails
37:46
to achieve a six-figure
37:48
or even a seven-figure income
37:49
in his work.
37:51
No way.
37:52
I believe the greatest tragedy
37:53
for a man
37:54
is to fail
37:56
to see himself
37:58
and his role
37:59
in a family.
38:00
To only have a vision
38:02
that he is a provider
38:05
that puts food
38:06
on the table,
38:07
that puts a roof
38:08
over his family's head,
38:09
and maybe provides
38:10
a college education.
38:11
But that's about it.
38:12
And then once that job
38:13
is done,
38:14
then he can get back
38:15
to more pertinent
38:16
and important things
38:17
like his golf
38:18
or tennis game
38:19
or trading stocks
38:20
or traveling the world.
38:22
Folks,
38:22
that is to me
38:23
the greatest tragedy
38:24
for a man and a father.
38:25
Because I want to share
38:26
with you,
38:27
I don't know if you
38:27
and your lifetime dads
38:29
have arrived
38:30
at your life quote,
38:33
but I want to share
38:33
with you mine.
38:35
And you can imagine
38:36
it's out of Robert Andrews'
38:38
book,
38:38
The Family.
38:39
And that is,
38:41
nothing is more satisfying,
38:42
more fulfilling
38:43
to a man
38:44
than to have those
38:45
in his family
38:45
over whom he has ruled
38:47
reflect in their thoughts,
38:49
words,
38:49
and deeds
38:49
what he has given
38:50
his very life
38:51
to build into them.
38:53
His influence
38:54
for the kingdom
38:54
is extended
38:55
into the next generation
38:56
and will indeed
38:57
live on through the ages
38:59
as his children
39:00
perpetuate the change.
39:03
Now,
39:04
can the four Ps,
39:05
the four Ps,
39:07
popularity,
39:08
pleasure,
39:08
possessions,
39:10
power and position,
39:11
we've already seen folks,
39:12
we've seen it
39:13
from Tom Brady's
39:14
own lips.
39:16
Those can't come near
39:17
to achieving
39:18
that kind of vision.
39:21
And the younger
39:22
you come to realize this,
39:23
young men,
39:24
the better,
39:25
because it will spare you,
39:26
it will prevent
39:27
a lot of wasted years.
39:29
Don't be out there
39:30
thinking that,
39:31
you know,
39:31
your greatest accomplishment
39:35
is out in the workforce.
39:36
No,
39:37
that's not it.
39:38
Your greatest achievement
39:39
is in your home,
39:41
right where your family
39:45
and your children are.
39:45
If you want to see
39:47
your children's children
39:48
walking in God's ways
39:49
and having a major impact
39:51
for the kingdom
39:52
generations to come,
39:54
then dads,
39:55
you and your wives
39:57
need to commit
39:58
as a team
39:58
to making that
40:00
a significant investment.
40:03
And as far as resources,
40:04
I have plenty on my website
40:06
that I would share with you,
40:07
dadsthekey.com.
40:09
Now,
40:09
if this is all true
40:10
about children,
40:12
then the last part
40:13
about what makes
40:14
a great father
40:15
has to do with that time
40:16
in a dad's life
40:17
when he's reaching
40:20
or soon to be at
40:21
the empty nest,
40:23
okay,
40:23
which we're not too far away from.
40:25
We've got about three more years
40:26
before Grant, man,
40:27
is out of the house
40:28
and we have achieved
40:29
that empty nest status.
40:32
The last point
40:34
of what it takes
40:35
to be a great father
40:36
is he enlarges
40:38
his vision and calling
40:39
by investing these values
40:41
in as many men
40:42
as possible,
40:43
young,
40:44
middle,
40:44
and older age
40:45
through foster parenting,
40:47
adoption,
40:48
and or discipling
40:49
relationships.
40:51
You know,
40:52
obviously,
40:53
the very first
40:55
spiritual battle
40:56
that we must win,
40:57
dads,
40:58
is in our own domains,
40:59
in our own homes.
41:01
But when we reach
41:01
that point
41:02
where the nest
41:03
is empty
41:03
or soon to be empty,
41:04
the temptation
41:05
for us
41:06
is to kick back
41:07
and kind of,
41:08
you know,
41:09
attain a mentality
41:10
of just enjoying life.
41:12
Okay?
41:14
But I want to ask you,
41:16
at any point
41:17
in our lives,
41:19
do you think God
41:20
wants us to focus
41:21
on ourselves
41:22
and our own
41:23
individual wants
41:24
and needs
41:25
or on others
41:26
and their needs?
41:29
I think you know
41:29
the answer to that question.
41:32
And the last passage
41:34
that I want to share
41:34
with you
41:35
is one of my favorites
41:36
from 2 Timothy 2.2
41:37
where Paul said
41:39
gave Timothy the charge,
41:41
and the things
41:42
which you have heard
41:43
from me
41:43
in the presence
41:44
of many witnesses,
41:46
these entrust
41:47
to faithful men
41:49
who will be able
41:50
to teach others also.
41:51
You know,
41:51
there's four generations,
41:53
there's four spiritual
41:54
generations
41:55
in that one verse
41:57
right there.
41:58
Four spiritual generations.
42:00
Now,
42:00
I want to just share
42:01
with you two ways
42:02
that God has been
42:03
working that out
42:04
in my life
42:05
and in mine
42:05
and Gail's life
42:06
recently.
42:07
First is,
42:08
is that as God
42:10
led me to start
42:10
creating the website,
42:13
a lot of it
42:13
was based on
42:15
the book that I've
42:15
shared with you,
42:16
The Family,
42:17
and I have
42:18
recently started
42:20
a second group
42:21
with young men,
42:23
many of whom
42:23
are in this church,
42:25
to go through
42:25
this book
42:26
right here
42:27
to walk them
42:28
through the principles
42:29
of biblical
42:30
family life.
42:31
And it has been
42:32
a blast.
42:33
I'm excited.
42:34
We're just kind of
42:35
getting started
42:35
with the second
42:36
group of guys,
42:37
about five or six guys,
42:39
and I'm loving it.
42:40
The other thing
42:41
where God is working
42:42
this out
42:43
is in mine
42:44
and Gail's life
42:44
is where we've
42:45
opened ourselves up
42:46
to becoming
42:47
foster parents.
42:48
After about
42:49
10,000 pages
42:50
of applications
42:51
and thousands
42:53
of questions,
42:56
we're just about
42:56
ready to be
42:57
foster parents.
42:59
That was a
43:01
little sarcastic
43:02
note right there.
43:03
There's a lot
43:04
of work that you
43:05
go through
43:05
to be foster parents
43:07
and if you are one,
43:08
you know what
43:08
I'm talking about.
43:09
You know even more.
43:11
Do you know what?
43:11
Truly,
43:12
the sky is the limit
43:14
if and when
43:15
we just open
43:16
ourselves up to God
43:18
and let Him
43:19
lead us
43:19
to other people
43:21
around us
43:21
that need
43:22
spiritual guidance,
43:24
direction,
43:24
and courage.
43:25
The sky is the limit.
43:27
And I want to
43:28
conclude with
43:28
one of my
43:29
favorite stories
43:30
and it's from
43:32
a guy named
43:33
Russ Crossan
43:34
who's a family
43:35
friend of ours
43:35
who's written a book.
43:37
I know at least
43:37
a couple of guys
43:38
personally
43:39
who are authors.
43:40
Russ is another one
43:41
and he wrote a
43:42
great book
43:43
several years ago
43:44
called A Life
43:45
Well Spent.
43:46
And in his book
43:48
on the chapter
43:48
entitled
43:49
Posterity,
43:51
Russ talks about
43:52
flying out
43:52
to another state
43:54
one weekend
43:55
where he was
43:56
going to spend
43:57
with two men
43:58
and their names
43:59
were Paul
43:59
and Jim
44:00
Montague.
44:02
Paul was the
44:03
dad in his
44:04
early 70s
44:05
and they'd
44:05
started a small
44:06
manufacturing business
44:07
several years ago
44:08
and the son,
44:10
Jim,
44:10
was working with him
44:11
in it now
44:11
and Russ was
44:13
going out to
44:13
Russ had been
44:14
working with them
44:15
on implementing
44:15
biblical financial
44:17
principles in
44:19
their business
44:19
and since they
44:20
were gathering
44:21
their family
44:22
together for a
44:22
reunion,
44:23
they thought it
44:24
would be a
44:24
great idea
44:25
for Russ to
44:25
come out
44:26
that particular
44:26
weekend.
44:27
So he flew out,
44:28
they picked him
44:28
up,
44:29
he got there
44:30
and he says
44:31
in his book
44:31
when he got
44:32
there and he
44:33
saw all the
44:34
four or five
44:35
generations there
44:36
all together,
44:38
he says he had
44:39
little idea
44:39
of what he was
44:40
in store for.
44:41
And he said
44:42
when he reached
44:43
the entire,
44:43
and I'm just
44:44
going to read
44:45
this as we
44:46
finish up here,
44:46
when they
44:47
realized the
44:48
entire Montague
44:49
family was
44:49
going to be
44:50
together,
44:50
they decided
44:51
to be beneficial
44:52
to bring him
44:52
in.
44:53
At least 100
44:54
people representing
44:55
four generations
44:56
were at this
44:57
family reunion.
44:58
As I mingled
44:59
through the
45:00
happy throng
45:00
meeting many
45:01
of the family
45:01
members,
45:02
I noticed a
45:03
unity and harmony
45:04
that is rare
45:05
in many families
45:06
today.
45:07
I was especially
45:08
impressed with
45:08
the relationships
45:09
between the
45:10
generations.
45:11
The children
45:12
and adults
45:12
interacted in a
45:13
very mature
45:14
and respectful
45:14
manner,
45:15
seeming to
45:16
genuinely enjoy
45:17
each other.
45:18
The jet skis
45:19
on the small
45:19
lake next to
45:20
the house
45:20
were in
45:21
constant use
45:21
with the
45:22
older kids
45:22
and adults
45:23
helping the
45:24
younger kids.
45:25
The food
45:25
spread on
45:26
tables under
45:26
the shade
45:27
trees provided
45:28
a setting
45:28
for wide
45:29
ranging
45:29
conversation
45:30
as the
45:31
family members
45:32
ate together.
45:33
But what I
45:34
wondered was
45:35
behind the
45:35
interactions I
45:36
was observing,
45:38
why and how
45:39
did this
45:39
family get
45:40
along so well?
45:41
I decided to
45:42
ask Paul,
45:42
the patriarch of
45:43
the group.
45:44
After all,
45:45
I was just
45:45
beginning to
45:46
my own
45:47
family and
45:47
I welcomed
45:48
his advice.
45:49
Paul explained
45:50
to me that
45:50
in six
45:51
generations of
45:52
Montagues,
45:53
there had
45:53
been 11
45:54
ministers,
45:55
four lay
45:55
ministers,
45:56
15 music
45:57
ministers,
45:58
20 Sunday
45:59
school teachers,
46:00
seven missionaries,
46:01
seven professors,
46:03
17 school teachers,
46:04
and 12 Christian
46:05
college students.
46:07
What a heritage
46:08
I thought.
46:10
What was the
46:11
secret to
46:11
ensuring that
46:12
generation after
46:13
generation would
46:14
pass on to the
46:15
next,
46:16
the essentials for
46:17
leading lives
46:18
that counted
46:19
for eternity?
46:20
When I asked
46:21
Paul this
46:21
question,
46:22
he motioned for
46:23
me to follow
46:24
him into the
46:24
house where he
46:26
pulled an old
46:26
book from a
46:27
shelf in his
46:28
library and he
46:29
dusted off its
46:30
cover.
46:31
He flipped a few
46:31
pages and stopped,
46:33
then he handed
46:33
it to me and
46:34
said,
46:35
Russ,
46:36
this is the key
46:37
to what you see
46:38
out here today.
46:39
On the page
46:40
were words spoken
46:41
by his grandfather
46:42
Daniel Montague
46:43
more than a
46:44
hundred years
46:45
ago on August
46:46
the 2nd,
46:47
1882.
46:49
At the age of
46:50
77, he had
46:51
addressed a
46:51
similar family
46:52
reunion, telling
46:53
his loved ones
46:54
this,
46:55
Now if you wish
46:57
those principles
46:57
established and
46:59
carried out by
46:59
your descendants,
47:01
inculcate into
47:02
the minds and
47:02
hearts of your
47:03
children the
47:04
principles of
47:05
religious instruction.
47:06
everything almost
47:08
that is evil,
47:09
everything almost
47:10
to subvert the
47:11
religion of Jesus
47:12
Christ is at
47:13
work and it is
47:15
absolutely necessary
47:16
to train the
47:17
rising generation
47:18
in the principles
47:19
of Christ.
47:20
It is the great
47:21
work of the
47:22
country.
47:23
For Christian
47:24
institutions,
47:25
friends, we have
47:26
reason this day to
47:27
thank God.
47:28
And what I ask
47:29
of you who are
47:30
now on the stage
47:31
of action is that
47:33
you should be true
47:34
to the principles
47:35
of Christ and
47:36
humanity to the
47:37
name and
47:38
characteristics of
47:39
the Montagues
47:40
that have gone
47:41
before you.
47:42
Russ finishes up
47:43
saying there was
47:45
the key, the
47:46
rising generations,
47:48
the children.
47:50
And he says,
47:50
What I observed
47:51
at this family
47:52
reunion was a
47:53
family's godly
47:54
posterity.
47:55
Their unity and
47:56
harmony was the
47:57
result of a
47:57
focused plan to
47:59
pass on Christ's
48:00
principles from
48:01
one generation to
48:02
the next.
48:03
And the only way
48:04
that these principles
48:05
could have gotten
48:06
from Daniel
48:07
Montague in
48:08
1882 to the
48:10
young children that
48:11
were playing before
48:12
him that Sunday
48:12
afternoon was for
48:14
succeeding generations
48:15
to do their part
48:17
while they were on
48:18
their stage of
48:19
action.
48:20
You know, the
48:21
last part of my
48:22
core value,
48:23
number five,
48:24
is that we're to
48:25
train our children
48:26
in the limited time
48:27
that we're entrusted
48:28
with them.
48:29
and it truly is
48:31
limited, guys.
48:32
It flies by faster
48:34
than we know it.
48:34
If you've got younger
48:35
children right now,
48:36
I just encourage you,
48:38
make the most under
48:39
God's help and
48:41
guidance.
48:42
Make the most of
48:43
each and every
48:44
moment and every
48:45
day that you can
48:46
because it flies by
48:47
so fast.
48:48
And to have a
48:51
lasting legacy,
48:53
Dad, we must base
48:54
our lives on God's
48:55
core values and be
48:57
genuinely committed
48:58
to living by them.
48:59
And that's my charge
49:00
to you this morning.
49:02
And remember as you
49:03
go out, your last
49:04
gift is a compilation
49:07
of the five core
49:08
values that I put
49:09
together and framed
49:10
for you this morning
49:11
to take with you.
49:11
And let's pray.
49:13
Join me in prayer.
49:18
Father God, I thank
49:19
you that you know
49:21
all about family.
49:25
And you know how it
49:26
was made to work
49:27
because you put it
49:28
together.
49:29
And I thank you for
49:30
this incredible
49:31
institution of the
49:33
family and the
49:35
individual relationships
49:36
with it, beginning
49:38
with fathers and their
49:40
role as the head
49:41
of the home.
49:42
I just pray for each
49:43
father in this room
49:46
right now that you
49:48
would take the things
49:50
that have been
49:50
shared this morning
49:51
and you would just
49:52
drive them deep into
49:53
each of our hearts
49:54
and our minds and
49:56
make us fathers that
49:58
are our wives and
50:00
our children won't
50:01
emulate and see that
50:02
passed on for
50:03
generations to come.
50:05
Pray this now in
50:06
Christ's precious name.
50:08
Amen.