Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 66. Celestial Tinder Profiles & Morty Smith vs. Marty McFly (Feat. Nathan Scammell)

Transcript

Episode 66. Celestial Tinder Profiles & Morty Smith vs. Marty McFly (Feat. Nathan Scammell) · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, cool.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_03: We're good to go then.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone feeling good then?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm good.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: Everything sounds good?
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: Lovely.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_03: Lovely.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: If you guys are ready to jump into it, we'll jump into it.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: Hey everyone, welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast where we do all of our own stunts.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm your host, Ryan Barron North.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: With me as always, in spirit at least, James Crosslin.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: James, what's happening, man?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh not much.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Glad to be here.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Glad to be doing the the podcast again.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be an exciting weekend.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go snorkel with sharks.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: So dude, that's badass.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty fun.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: They're leopard sharks.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: They're nice sharks.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully I won't die.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: Although Great White was spotted off the Del Mar coast recently.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: So hopefully not down to La Jolla.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: It was the last time I saw him alive.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: They're not always nice, apparently.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Well, joining us this week, uh return guests, one of our personal favorites, adult man, Nathan Scammel.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: He's this English guy we picked up, but uh writer, entrepreneur, he does everything.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: Nate, what's going on, man?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: How you been?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've been good.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um happy to be back on the show.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've been looking forward to it.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, I got a uh pretty exciting gig this weekend because James is actually paying me to dress up like a shark, so he has an authentic experience.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: So uh you know, I've got the fin, I've got the gray paint, you know, we're gonna have some fun this weekend.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm excited for you both.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's awesome.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's awesome.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's great to always have you.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: I just have a question for you.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_03: Are you by any chance like so?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_03: I know you're in Wales, but that's like uh you could say fucking anything and be like, oh okay.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: How what is the proximity if you're familiar to Mildenhall or Lake and Heath?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: No idea.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I can Google it at some point.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: I I can do it too.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, no, I was just I I put in a bunch of I put in a bunch of requests to move that way.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just curious if uh, you know, whatever I'd be within you know running distance.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Everywhere you are, I I I guess i uh you know England and Wales are kind of small enough, but yeah, you know, everything's within running distance if you if you're committed.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, I'm pretty the UK could fit in Ohio, right?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: Something like that.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so for those of you who are just joining us for the first time, this is how this shit works.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we start every episode off with a little philosophical question, a conundrum, a quandary, and that uh devolves into a fist fight, as those things often do.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: But what makes us so special and amazing and so witty and clever is that we do it completely inebriated.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: James, uh as our high philosopher, what will we be smoking this week?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh this is the return of jealousy because I ground up a lot of it, and I'm not going to grind up another thing until I so you get a repeat of jealousy.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: I can just move this episode down the line.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: Perfect.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: Fantastic.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh uh Nate, how are you going to be joining us this evening at midnight for you?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've got I've got a nice, well, it it's a scotch that I've had since Christmas.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, lovely.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a I've got a posh little decanter of it as well.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So look at that.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Look at that.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've come prepared this stuff.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Usually I'm like running around searching the back covers for like, well, you know, I'll I'll try this bleach this time, but it's something that you wrestled from a bum.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Famous graph.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: There's like whole cults that drink bleach.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like some of them I started, some of them I joined.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: But he he has just a sixth sense of when it's time to get out of the cult.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right before things hit the wall.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, five minutes I get five minutes towards the end, I get bored and I'd go home.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: Just it starts to smell like uh atmosphere, and he knows the FBI are coming down pretty hard.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, so uh I'm gonna be joining you guys with Maker's Mark.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh just basic stuff.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: I got a small little bottle of it, but it's time to finish it.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: I am a big fan of Maker's Mark.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_03: It just for 30 bucks, it don't it never lets you down.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I'll always uh always be a fan.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: So uh let's go ahead and pour them up.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: This first toast, first shot, first hit.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: This one goes to uh Carl Urban share and our returning guest, adult human man, Nathan Scammel.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I know you're not supposed to shoot bourbon, but it's makers mark.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: Just drinking bourbon.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: God damn military.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Happy bastards.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: I uh I I belong to just a general uh military, no names attached, no one no no legal action can be taken.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh alright, so let's load them up for round two.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: This second one, the second hit, second shot.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_03: This one goes out to our newest viewers who are still somehow coming in.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_03: Um it means so much to us, you guys.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um and you won't hear this for six months after you have lost interest.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: But our newest viewers, they come in from I'm opening the desktop side of my cell phone here.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: Here we go.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: These ones are coming from Bali.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: Banjar Bali.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_03: That will have viewpoint.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, hell yeah.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: Here's the Bali.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like they don't have enough to do.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: To listen to these assholes.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, third shot, third toast, third hit.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: This one, my personal favorite, guests toast.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: Nathan, what's it to?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: This one is to uh David Beckham.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: So obviously everyone's heard about the Queen dying, and you know, everyone in Britain is very, very sad.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it was an exceptionally long queue.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And not you know, I I'm not really that passionate about it, but David Beckham queued up for like kind of 12 hours, even though he was given the opportunity to skip the queue.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um he joined the queue for 12 hours, which I think is it's a very British thing to do.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And in the news, all we've heard is about David Beckham joining the queue.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we've also had there's been two other famous British people that skipped the queue, and they've been absolutely you know, they you know, there's a hit more bot on them.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um I know we're living in the most British of times, so David David Beckham.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think David Beckham.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think that was in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, like queuing isn't is the most British thing you can.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna lie.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: I uh I don't know much about David Beckham except that he's married to one of the spices.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_03: Cinnamon.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yes, he's married to Cinnamon Spice.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, but no, I I I have a little more respect for him than I did a few moments ago.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, he's an endurance athlete.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: This is what he gets paid for.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: A 12-hour line?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I got this.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I I would have strolled straight past the queue if I was famous if I had that kind of poll reverence.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: We know.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Make way peasants.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm coming through.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we keep bringing you back.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's why they keep knocking me down.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: They hold me back.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_03: You Welsh bastard.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I love it.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_03: I love it.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, so it's time to jump into our question.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: So the one I have for you guys today, um, this one involves the afterlife, as a lot of ours do.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_03: You uh, you know, you uh made it to the Queen's coffin, you of course leapt immediately at it to make some sort of a political statement, were shot to death immediately.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: You've arrived at the Pearlie Gates, the honeycomb monster from the 90s commercials there to greet you, and uh you asked, Well, so this is your heaven, man.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: What do you look like?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_03: That's my question for you guys.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: You've made it to paradise.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: What do you what avatar are you going to carry on for the rest of eternity in heaven?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: Which, you know, as you embrace Christ, of course.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_03: But um, what what what do you look like up here in your perfect world?
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: Uh guess first, uh Nate, what do you think?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh okay, so I guess for me, I you know, I'd be I'm a pretty tall guy anyway, but I'd you know a couple of inches taller, couple of couple of inches longer, um bit more toned and firm, but just just really round out your heavenly tinder profile.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'd uh you know, just just more a bit more toned, a bit more better posture, but nothing, you know, there'd be no massive changes.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Apart from yeah, the the height and the penis, but not even like like an alligator tail or wings or anything like that.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'd I'd keep the yeah, the it'd be the original model, but it'd be kind of just sleeker, improved.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: Gotcha.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: Not as much life has attacked this model.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Alright.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: Uh James, what about you?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh do we have to choose one thing?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_03: I mean zero heaven, man.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's your heaven.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: I probably wouldn't look like much unless I was.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, honestly, I'd just look blurry.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'd want to not worry about anything.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: I would just be I would just be blurred all the time.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_04: And then morphous blur.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Just not having to not having to worry about what I look like at all is perfect.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: Totally remove that from the equation.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: That's a that's a very like opposite way to go with it.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: Because I mean, like, I'm gonna jump straight into vanity.
• 11:01
  unknown: Yeah.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: And you're going the other.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, Nate was worried about his penis size.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I I wouldn't I hang on.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_04: I'd be just fine right now.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_04: I just wanted to okay.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_04: Just wanted to come myself a little bit.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, ladies, uh Nathan Scamel has a massive penis.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Last last Halloween I dressed up as a petrol pump.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: That'd be a wild party.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, but yeah, so you went the totally opposite direction with it.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: Just uh let it all go.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Normally I don't like I don't look at myself, and I'm also not trying to impress anybody.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so like if I'm if I'm not I'm not gonna seek out a mirror in heaven, why?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_03: So like I might as well Well in heaven the mirror will seek you out.
• 12:02
  unknown: Why?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because you wanted it.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: I I I hate how like at peace you are with yourself and everything.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: It really every every time I come on the show, the question's always like, oh yeah, I'll have all the money, I'll do all this.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: James is like, I'm really happy with what I've got.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: I remember I remember the one we were talking about if we were kings of the new world.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: And you you're like a sky pirate.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: I I was getting ready to like take over something, and James is like, I just want a big ass community, man.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: So wholesome.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, that's because we're a bunch of couple of we're a couple of fucking drunks, and he's over there getting to just smoke a plant.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe, maybe that could be it.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: This is a big social experiment, yeah.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_03: But I like that would be so for for me, like that would be nice.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: I think I feel like to be able to let that all go.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and like I think I think of in that sort of terms all the times, and just the the concept of for me, like I'm I'm a very ambitious individual.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm always I'm never satisfied, and it drives me insane, you know.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like I'm never satisfied, I'm always reaching for the next thing, I'm always wanting to do more.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: And to just to let that go, though, I'd be like, well, who the fuck am I now?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: I've been I've been this fucking dick for so long.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting because you know that drive, I I have that drive, but for different things, you know.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: For me, it's like food, like that's one of my biggest things, is like I always want more and better.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a lot of people do those do those different things.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's just I feel like you know, you care a lot about your looks, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: The side effect is that like as humans and culturally, you know, there's a huge emphasis on looks.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's not just you don't get the freedom to experience that kind of ambition and and like goal to to be better without having all of those societal things attached to it.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and how it affects your self-image and self-worth and the reflection of others.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: You can't escape it.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, uh, I mean, like I might I know the viewers can't see it right now, but you know, I got this bicep going on.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm at the I'm at the gym every fucking morning.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm at the gym every goddamn day.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you can't see it, but he's got an 18-pack and he's just he's he's he's grating cheese on it.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, well, that's how I wash my clothes.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_03: But and uh but it what what's interesting is I I I like it though.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know, uh there there are aspects of it that my life has been made easier by forcing myself to be attractive.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: There are aspects of it, and I don't want to give that up, but then there's there's like there's also items of it like going to the gym.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_03: I I go to the gym six days a week.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: I you know, I deny myself things.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: I do have a Reese's peanut butter cup here that I'm gonna have on the fourth toast, because I feel like it'll go really good with the bourbon, and I'm very excited for it.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: But uh there's aspects of it I enjoy.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: It has put a level of uh uh willpower into who I am and you know those sorts of things.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: But um the the producers are telling me to get back on script.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_03: For me, when I got up to heaven, um and they're like, all right, what do you what do you look like?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: I definitely want wings.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: Alright.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: I want wings.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm in I'm in heaven now.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: I want some sick ass fucking wings.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: You don't you don't want the Superman flight, you want to have like biological flight where you can like feel it in your feel it in your bones that you're flying.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: But like I want the feel, like, but I don't need them, you know?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like if they were suddenly gone, I'm still going where the fuck I want.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: This is my fucking heaven, all right?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: Back off.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: But I I do want just the fucking powerful, you know, virile wings.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like when you get to heaven, uh virility is based off of your wings, and so I want mine to be just amazing.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I want them to be white or black, but either way.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um and then other than that, you know, I'd like to stop going to the gym now.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: Can I just have the abs without working for them?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: That'd be pretty cool.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: And then beyond that, I feel like uh yeah, no, I'm happy with how I look.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_03: But I guess just stop me, stop my aging right now.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: Where I'm at right now, give me some wings, maybe just an endless supply of suits that I could put on, and I'll be happy.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Turn it back a few years, like just just a little bit, like maybe just three years.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe like 20 years.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'd be 10.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: So uh uh Nate, back to you.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: Uh final thoughts on the topic.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: You're in heaven, you're looking like this.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: Final thoughts.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I I guess yeah, if uh my therapist did this, she'd probably have a field day.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, it's just like I'm just gonna send this over to her.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: She's being CC'd on this email.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just slightly taller, a bit buffer.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not have to work for it or anything.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not that I work for it now, but um you keep them together very well.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's effortless, but um, yeah, just yeah, just firmer, taller, better, stronger.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: All right, for but and your hairline seems to be doing just great.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's holding on, it's holding on every every male in my family's been bald by the time they're 20, and I'm 32.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh shit, look at you go.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've kept it, I've kept it, and I'm like a miracle marvel.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, no, and you got like this whole like elegantly disheveled thing going on, so it's it's working.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's just because I am disheveled.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's the that's the nine for five crime that is.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Disheveled and British.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, you come over here, you're uh you're fucking in the money.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: So uh over there, it's pretty fucking normal over here.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I'd be taking you out to the fucking strip for sure.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_03: So uh all right.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well uh uh James, final thoughts.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I uh I like the blurry thing.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's kind of the easy answer for me.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's just I think my my uh you know, when I feel like a question's a trap, my uh my first instinct is disengage it.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: It is that's always my first instinct.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if that's the easy path or a good path.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: We only have like 200 listeners, so you're more than welcome to air whatever you need to air.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's just yeah.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's just kind of how I work, and I don't know why.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but otherwise, I'd really love to just I'd love to be able to morph.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: If if I had to, I couldn't choose like blurry, I'd love to be able to like just change my shape however I want at any time.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: Be completely mutable.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: You'd be like, you'd wind up being Tobias.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's like a real deep cut toias the dude who turned into a hawk and stayed as a hawk way too long and then you couldn't turn back from a hawk.
• 19:25
  unknown: From what?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: Animorphs.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, animal ass.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: I used to I read all those books when I was a kid.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a little deep cut there for you folks.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, none.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: It could probably be like that.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I think that you know, I think that what's interesting about both of you is that you have a really stable rooted kind of ideal, and with me having like no stable rooted physical traits, it might it might affect me a lot.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, that's a good point.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: You'd be Tobias.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: You'd be in heaven, and there's just Hawk James, like, oh, he changed and he forgot how to be human again.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: What's up, Hawk James?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: After eternity, I'm just like a mass of tentacles and teeth.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_04: We meet up a thousand years from now for season four.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, oh hey, it's Hawk James.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_04: Quick talk to the hamster.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, Jesus Christ.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_04: With me as always.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_04: Uh yeah, my final thoughts on it.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I would just uh I I would like to have the body I want while simultaneously eating what I want.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's the hardest.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_03: I like working out, I like being athletic, I like doing those things.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: I hate telling myself no when it comes to eating.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_03: Uh that would be it for me in heaven.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's all I need.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_03: Uh uh I know Nate's over there looking for a larger penis, but uh I think uh I think I'm good.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also as soon as you get out of there, double it, double it.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_04: Amorphous penis.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's blurred.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_04: Just this big blurred dick.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, well, there you are, folks.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_04: Um, don't know how you feel about that, but here we are.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's time for our second part part of the show.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it's time to jump into our fist fight today.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_03: We have a great fight for you.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: We have uh Marty McFly versus Morty Smith.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: They're one is ripped off of the other.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_03: But before we do that, it's time to get a little more junk, it's time to get a little more high.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I was feeling uncomfortably lucid.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: Um let's line them up.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Shit, I gotta do that.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: And this one I'm gonna have that Reese's peanut butter cup with.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when you said that, I was like, you know, I really admire your restraint and feel bad for you.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because uh, you know, I do ridiculous things with food.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I mean I will like so yesterday it was Thursday, and on Thursdays It's a little kind of more of a chill evening for me.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: I demolished just a bag of fucking chips and watching TV.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so everyone I I I have lapses, you know.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: One of my best friend recently was we got a loaf of croissant bread, and we we made a grilled prosciutto and cheese on the croissant bread, and it was uh decadent.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't do anything every Sunday.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I cook my 93% lean ground beef and then my shrimp, and I add brown rice, and then I mix them into four separate bowls a day.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_02: Decadent.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: Very decadent.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: Very, very decadent.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_03: Alright.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: Here's to uh Morty Smith of Rick and Morty and Marty McFly of Back to the Future.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: Seriously.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: Uh which was uh September May 21st?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_03: No, September 21st is Back to the Future Day.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_03: October 21st, sorry.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's next month.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_03: How Greece is being a better cup and bourbon.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: What do you all think of like the direction humanity has taken versus what was in Back to the Future?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because Back to the Future 2 kind of sucked all like their future sucked.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: A couple ways.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_03: Well, they felt that uh instead of just giving up on skateboarding as we have, um, we would make our skateboards fly.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Skateboarding's never gonna die.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know Tony Hawke's one of your listeners, and he's crying now.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_03: Well, he's so fucking used to it.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_03: Have you have you seen the slow death of Tony Hawk?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_03: It's just uh a following of his Twitter and being like, he's at a rental place, and like said he was at a rental car place, and they cancelled his rental because they did not think that Tony Hawk was gonna show up.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like everyone everyone everyone kind of looks at his like passport or they go, oh Tony Hawk, oh just like the skater.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then slow death.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: He should reserve things under Anthony.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_03: Anthony Hawk.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you'd think you'd think of that.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_03: But I guess too many too many, too many wipeouts, bra.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry, Tony.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: I I I'm a fan.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: I I I did pick up your redo of Tony Hawk Pro Skater.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of skateboarders out here.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen a lot more skateboarders since I've been in California than Yeah.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: No, I started longboarding.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: But anyway, my producers are telling me to get back on track.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: So anyway.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: So look with these new producers.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: We used to go off track for like a half hour.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: Look, our our dozens of fans have been telling me that, hey man, I'm kind of bipolar and no C D, and you're freaking me out, man.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll stop those emails.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's starting to freak me out.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and uh yeah, so anyway.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: So for those of you just joining us for the first time, this is how the second part of the show works.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: We break it down into a three-round process guaranteed to get you the best results of who would win between Morty Smith and Marty McFly.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: Round one, we enter into a legally distinct flight fight club bar in a broken down Applebee's.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't have to be legally distinct.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: What is Applebee's gonna do?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, we're millennials, we killed you.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_03: We go down to the basement, it's pound for pound, punch for punch, we find out who's gonna beat the other one to death.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: Round two, we drop into a zit city view where these characters now have 24 hours to decide who's gonna defeat the other one.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: They get everything that makes them them, and we see what happens.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: And then round three is the same thing as round two, except this time they get to bring a friend.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: So transitioning into round one, we've just entered into the legally distinct fight club bar where a Val Kilmer has squeezed himself into uh I I don't even fucking remember anymore.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_03: Val Kilmer is dead.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: Val Kilmer got ripped apart by a dinosaur, didn't he?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's a long time ago.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_03: So Val Kilmer's ghost is down there ready to get these fighters on.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: He's uh getting everyone sized up, he's getting everyone fitted for uh cups and whatnot.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: Meanwhile, uh Cher, Carl Urban have been escorted upstairs to the box seats where they're gonna watch this, followed, of course, by the high and dry philosophers.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_03: We've been seated, we've ordered our drinks, we have our popcorn.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's time to see who's gonna win.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: So, guests first, Marty McFly versus Morty Smith.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_03: What's gonna go down?
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_03: How's this gonna happen?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_03: Nate, what do you think?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think the first thoughts is Marty has probably got, you know, he's got a couple of years, he's got a couple of pounds on him, he's he's kind of a you know, he's a he's an adult in pr pr portraying a child, so he's kind of you know, but he is kind of big and he's older than I think Morty's like 13 or something, isn't he?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um however like Morty has took a few beat ins.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he's he's lost body parts, he's he's fought, and he's he's come back from it, so he's really scrappy.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I yeah, I think it'd be a very close one.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think Marty's gonna have to keep his eye on him because the minute he turns his back, you know, Morty's on his will be on his back, punching him in the face and tearing his eyes out.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, he I don't think Morty would have any morals as such.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he he'd he'd just kind of go crazy.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas whereas Marty would, you know, he'd want it to be uh I kind of get him as a down-to-earth guy, you know, he'd want to fight properly, punches and kicks maybe, but you know, nothing else for his Morty.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's no holds barred.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I'd I I think I'd still give the edge to Marty McFly, I think.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just because he's got the weight on him, you know, he'd get his ass kicked for sure.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like that you know, it it definitely wouldn't be an easy fight, and he'd he'd come away with scratches on his eyes, and but yeah, I think eventually he'd overpower him.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, uh, James thoughts.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Just imagining Morty's battle cry.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what would happen.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the problem is Morty like dies a lot.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like the Morty might be the most killed person in the universe.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: But now but so we're dealing specifically with Morty from what's the universe?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and he's specifically.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we actually don't know how often he got replaced.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so this new season has answered some questions, I I feel, at least in their newest episode, because there was a the situation they're in right now, everything's been so Rick wasn't able to fix the portal gun.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: So everyone went back to their original universes, and it showed that this has been the same Morty since they had the ditch Cronenberg world.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Alright.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: So he doesn't die in those.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, I don't know.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Marty doesn't die either, and he does have a weight advantage.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: I do think the fact that he's not a bully, you know.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: He's not that he's not, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would attack a child.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: He would be acting against it.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: But I think after Morty started attacking him, uh he he would he would beat that child to death.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: And reluctantly he would cry while doing it, and he's shaking the whole time.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is heavy.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: Right?
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: Some uh teenager on child murder, even though he really wasn't a teenager, he was just portraying one.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: I would say, like, I I I I agree very much with what Nate was saying.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I I think that Morty has been so just warped by what he's had to deal with, what he's had to survive, what he's had to experience, that he will just be so much more prepared for the situation that he's been thrown into by Cher that I I think he has more of what it takes to come out on top here.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_03: Just I mean, just because like fucking Marty McFly was in the goddamn West and still didn't shoot no one.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_03: I I I think uh, you know, I I just think that he's just not ready for the sort of monster that the story arc is turning normal Morty into.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: But uh those are my thoughts.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so so back to you, Nate.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we need your final thoughts and a vote.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I'm gonna I I'm gonna stick with Marty, I think.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because yeah, it's the the size, the weight, and although Morty will come in kind of no hold barred and kind of more like a feral animal than a fighter.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I d yeah, I think I think Marty will just about get it done.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: Get the job done.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, James.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think Morty's problematic.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I think because part of part of Rick and Morty and all of, you know Dan Harman's shit is that the characters aren't cohesive.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: They they're often what the story requires.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so they have a lot of conflicting reactions.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like in some stories, Morty's super smart and super capable and super cool to the to the point where he's like flaunting it until he gets brought back down to earth.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: And and in other ones, he's just wildly unprepared and and anxiety written and incapable of anything.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And and the these characters continue to get more and more broad because they have every quality, depending on what's necessary to push the stuff forward.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: And and I don't know, I think in some ways that's a problem because this these two people getting in into this windowless, uh, you know, featureless environment don't have a story.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't really have anything to build on.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he it's just him and a guy in a room.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: And he doesn't really get to look around and see Cher and shit.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like that stuff, that's what stuff we see.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but he doesn't get motivation.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_01: And uh so there's no story for him to for him to latch on to.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that Marty, in that case, is just a kid who needs to kill or be killed.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: He's a larger kid.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so is just a larger kid.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I would have almost argued that point, just saying that, you know, Cher's up there singing if I could turn back time, and that like jumps right into Marty McFly, which is who I am voting for because you guys do.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_03: Congratulations, Marty McFly.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: You take round one.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_03: We are all in utter agreement.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_03: Moving on to round two.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we've now zoomed down to a city view.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: These characters have received a manila envelope beneath their apartment doors.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_03: They now know that they have 24 hours to kill the other one, and they get have access to everything that uh they would normally have access to.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_03: So uh guests first, Nate, what happens?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: So I I think this one's probably a little more one-sided in that Morty now has like I guess Rick's arsenal of weapons and or you know, kind of the basement is and you've seen him go in there before to take stuff without kind of Rick's permission or anything.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, Mart Marty will probably come equipped with a chest plate underneath his poncho, which you know it it might block a pistol from the Wild West, but it's not gonna block like a laser gun that can probably shoot through a planet.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I yeah, I I think it's gonna I think Morty, uh I think Marty McPhy will show up confident.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, you know, that one kid.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know that that scene in um Indiana Jones where he kind of he gets a sword and he flips it all about, and Indiana Jones just pulls out the pistol and shoots him.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: I I think it's gonna be like that.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like Morty's gonna uh Marty McPhee's gonna show up meaning business, and yeah, Morty's gonna end it quite quickly.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: Solid, solid James thought.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I think there's a fundamental difference here between Morty and Marty that I hadn't really thought of.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um so Morty is only so you gotta remember with the stories, Marty is the main character of Back to the Future.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: He's the protagonist and the driver of Story.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas Morty is a side character, he's the second character in Rick and Morty.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: And he often when Morty goes to grab something and use it for his own selfish reasons to do something that's not, you know, that Rick doesn't find acceptable, Rick has to come save him because Morty fucks it up.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like, even if Morty succeeds at his initial thing, he fucks it up.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: But you also have to remember Marty is the person who got uh roped into Back to the Future and then had to find a way to be clever enough to get out.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas he he wasn't rescued by anybody, he had to wrangle the people who had the skills to to get him out.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't the other way around where he had where he was wrangled to go back home.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas Morty is that person, he is a person who has things happen to him, uh, where Marty is a person who does things after things happen to him.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's really a big difference.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but also Morty can just accidentally do do the thing and uh and and but destroy him and the entire northwest of the United States, you know, who knows?
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really a coin toss with whether Morty succeeds because his his his ability to accomplish any task is incredibly can't there's there's always chance.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas Marty is very focused in achieving his goals and fucking his mom, let's be honest.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: He's very focused.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: He he gets right up to the line.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yo, let's be honest, dude.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_03: His that in that fucking open top dress that she was wearing, she was real hot.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's true, but she also wasn't my mom.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe that's why he was all weird about it.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_03: For me, I like I I'm agreeing with everything you say.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_03: I just see it twisting in the other way.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm I'm thinking of that episode with Morty where uh he became an Akira.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know, and he pulls everything out of the garage and he basically brings the world to its knees, just following, you know, his and but he he a hundred percent accomplished you know surviving the bully, which is which is what he's got going on right here.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that that one was about him wanting to die with Jessica.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_03: But he didn't grab Rick's shit until he was dealing with the bully.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: He well, he had a goal.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't think it was, was it to deal with the bully?
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: Was that it?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_03: And and had he of still like had Rick not interfered, he would have died with Jessica.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's only when Rick interferes, and Rick's not allowed to be here right now.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_03: He's not allowed to be here until round three.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_03: So I think what we'll have here is just he turns Marty into jelly, you know, and and you know, we didn't know at the time, but Marty was dealing with some neurological issues, you know.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_03: I think that but uh I I think uh that you know Morty's just gonna come out with just too much firepower.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know what a hoverboard is gonna do to stop that.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um it was really cool, but uh I just don't think he's gonna come up to you know fucking that level of you know weird science.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_03: But uh so uh back to you, Nate.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh what do you think's gonna go down here?
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_03: Final thoughts and a vote.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I I think that if if it was a kind of a a Rick and Morty episode, you know, the fight would be the the intro to the episode where the fight would be over right at the beginning uh of Morty winning, and then the remaining kind of 18 minutes of the show would be kind of dealing with the consequences of him winning that fight.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, with whatever kind of weapon he used or or whatever happens, you know.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there is a chance that he might accidentally turn Marty into like this giant beast that they then spend the rest of the episode fighting.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: However, yeah, I I think you know, either either way, um Morty's gonna win and he's gonna win without effort, I think.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or not without effort, but he's there's gonna be emotional effort, but it's gonna happen.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, I feel like Morty is this the story of dealing with what he's just done.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: Well well, uh James, final thoughts on a vote.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: If his story is the one of dealing with what he's just done, because he his like I said, his character vacillates it wildly between being like empathetic and like and and like not not wanting to hurt anyone to being like totally psychotic because that's what the story demands.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and yeah, I I feel like he might succeed in this one, but I really feel like it's a coin toss.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh just because I'd say honestly, nine times out of ten he doesn't succeed.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: Nine times out of ten he fails.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm thinking of like uh the purge episode.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm thinking of I'm thinking of uh, you know, uh the toxic uh the toxic episode.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm thinking of everything.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he always gets right up to the line of success of what he really wants, his real goal.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fails.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: Because the the short-term be the bull the bully thing was a short-term thing in order to get him to his real goal.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: And he failed the real goal.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, in this one, there's no halfway goal.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: But but the problem is he's just a nuclear bomb, and 50% of the time he goes off or less, but when that happens, there's nothing the other the other guy can do.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um but I'd still say Morty, I don't know.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you say Morty.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because I don't fucking know.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: Marty McFly is not going to have an immediate impetus to murder this guy, or as Morty will do it.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_03: No, I would I mean Morty's taking life.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for me, uh I'm just like, Dan, I know you're listening, all right.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_03: Dan Harmon.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: And and I think this is uh you know more of a shot at you than anything else here.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, what's going on with your writing?
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_03: But uh I I would have to say Yeah, because you'll just we going off of what she said, he is a nuclear bomb.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I I think you know, just that's it, you know.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like uh I wouldn't want to fight a nuclear bomb.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I uh sometimes he doesn't have sometimes no one has the access codes.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: Where are the access codes?
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, yeah.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_03: No, I mean the the thing is definitely driven more by what needs to happen versus uh what would happen for the characters themselves.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you you you have one instance where Morty's uh good to go, he's figured out what's behind him, but then you know, his parents having an issue sends him inward on himself.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, it makes it difficult.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_03: I just uh at the end of the day, though, I just don't think that Marty has anything that's gonna stand up to just a single gun that Morty's pulling out of the garage.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: Morty is not, I mean, Marty is not a nuclear bomb.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: He's he's at his best, he's a young adult who who can outsmart a Trump analog.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, it was supposed to be Trump.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: We thought Biff was supposed to be fucking Donald Trump and back to the future, too.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: No, that that was it.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_03: And uh and I I just think uh I mean the whole fucking thing was just telling boomers like, hey, look, you don't need to worry about Gen X.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um But yeah, so that's where I'm at.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_03: So there you have it, folks.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um Morty is taking that second round, which brings us.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_03: We're still tied up.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's time to go into round three.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_03: Same thing as round two, except this time they get to bring a friend.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: I wonder who that the fuck they're gonna bring.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm wondering what old mad scientist each character is gonna bring.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_03: Let's find out.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_03: Nate, what do you think is gonna go down here?
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: Who they bring and what happens?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm I thought I thought this was gonna be an easy one, actually, but I've changed my mind kind of mid conversation.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's my my initial thought is you know, Morty'll bring Rick, they'll, you know, easily kind of kick an infinite amount of versions of Marty and Doc, you know, in in many different but what what's been made like clear in Rick and Morty is that Rick doesn't do time travel.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if Marty and Doc could go back in time quick enough, I mean you know, they've still got to kind of avoid the fight.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: If they can go back in time quick enough to kind of defeat them before Rick gets so powerful and clever, they've got a chance.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: But would they think about doing that?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: And would they, you know, you know, everyone says you know they'd go back and kill baby Hitler, but you know, if you had a baby in front of you and it was Hitler, could you kill it?
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, would you know would they would they actually go through with it?
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: Doc and Marty are quite good characters, but that's the only way I could see them winning, but is whether they would take that road.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: I and I after all that I'm gonna say no, they wouldn't take that road.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um they're just getting some option and they're like, but that wouldn't happen.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then they all woke up.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, uh it it'll just be like Rick won't just defeat them, he'll kind of embarrass them, you'll you know, he'll he'll watch he'll make them watch him kind of slaughter millions of other docks and Martys and you know sick shit.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he yeah, he'll put them through through some terrible, terrible things.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: Even even if, yeah, even at the end, the even if he doesn't kill him, he's still defeated on the inside.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, he'll he'll destroy him.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, and it goes to that if you worship this character, you're missing the point starter pack of your you know your Rick Sanchez's, your Tyler Durdens's, you know.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: If you think this guy's the good guy, you're missing the point.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, well, James, thoughts.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that I think that going back in time is a good point.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I think that that would be the case.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I you know what I think?
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think they'd kill Rick.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because remember, Rick is not the main combatant.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have to def they don't have to kill Rick.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: They just have to kill the little boy.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they just have to make sure that Rick doesn't have a grandchild.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: So theirs would be a wacky story of trying to make sure Morty is never born.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it would work.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because they sick.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, all their movies are like feel-good movies, and they always win against a really shitty, like the sh the shittiest person they can run into wherever they go.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what they do.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that they would befriend Rick, and it would be one of those montages of of some of you know him having a good time.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I think they could actually solve the Rick spiral, uh, and and just solve Rick and Morty by going back in time first.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so adding on to that.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_03: First, I uh you know, Doc is an 80s character, and he was obviously on a shit ton of blow.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: But so, but like so you jump into their theme of it's like the feel-good and everything like that, but then I feel it would collide with the Rick and Morty theme, and so I see a situation here where like Doc and Morty pull it off, but then the Rick and Morty theme shows that it doesn't matter.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: And which Rick knew their plan the whole time or something like that, you know.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_03: Or, you know, this is my 30th fucking you know, reality, and like, oh, you guys got this one, and it wasn't even the real fucking Morty, you know, and like it just it doesn't matter, and so so in that regard, I kind of see it as a tie.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_03: I I feel like I feel like the themes of Back to the Future could have whatever they want to happen and be like victorious for those two in their perspective, but then it would slam, so their unstoppable force of 80s happiness would slam into the immovable object that is Rick and Morty's It Doesn't Matter.
• 49:19
  unknown: Yeah.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think in that regard it's gonna be a tie.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, well, oh so Nate, back to you.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, what's your final thoughts on a vote?
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: I I I I do like James's points.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um uh yeah, but there's there's there's always that, you know, there's always that get out at the end or something of every kind of, you know, the the the kind of Rick and Morty they befriended would be like the decoy Rick and Morty or something like that.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I think you know Marty will be spinning around with half a body like the tickets please guy, and you know, and uh there wouldn't be much left of Doc either.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna I'm gonna give it to yeah, I I Rick and Morty for me.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_00: Morty Morty and Rick, I should say.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: Morty and Rick.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: Morty's the main combatant.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, James.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, some of the episodes are don't matter, but then you think of ones like um you know interdimensional cable where it does matter, and then um oh shit, the the uh the one with the alien virus that like duplicates people, that one does matter, you know.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: It they have a ruined relationship at the end, and and everybody's sad.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: And again, it's wildly oscillating tones.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just it's it's it's whatever the dude wants, and that's fine, but it's hard to have a cohesive understanding of it.
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_03: It also makes a it like almost makes a theme out of that, like that is the theme, that wild nihilism and you know things like that.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it's yeah, but we've been over the nihilism versus absurdism conversation before, and absurdism does win.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: Where you know you don't get so wrapped up in it, which is Morty problem, is it get it gets wrapped up in its own pontification.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but this ain't Professor Farnsworth we're dealing with here.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_03: There's no master of absurdism rolling up.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_01: There is.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: They sold a multimillion dollar movie about a guy who goes back to fuck his mom.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: And turned it into three movies.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, because so far last it was uh Hubert Farnsworth beat Rick Sanchez in our in our first season.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Hubert Farnsworth beat Rick Sanchez because of Surdism versus nihilism.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_03: So absolutely.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so I don't know.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I feel like perhaps the cr I feel like the Back to the Future movies can crush nihilism.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: They're incredibly feel-good movies for people who want to fuck them up.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think that I think that that wins personally.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: So so it's it's all down to you, Ryan.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_03: Alright, well, so I'm liking everything you're saying.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I I think it would run to a point.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_03: I think it would run up to a point, but then I I like like I was saying before, I I think there's that that element of in the end, it doesn't matter, which then slides it into the Rick and Morty thing.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but then you know we slide back because of the feel-good elements of one and two.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_03: But then we get to three when they take us to the Wild West, and the franchise turns to shit.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_03: And that slides it right back into the middle because you can't forget the first two, but you have to live with the third.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_03: And for me, I'm gonna say it's a tie.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_03: And uh because you each voted on a different way.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_03: That means round three is a tie.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: So we haven't had a tie in a while.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: It feels like a cop out because we've forced ourselves not to have a tie, but it's been like 20 episodes.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a lot of episodes, you know, and we've had the Rick and Morty crew defeated by one nut job scientist before.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm not calling a cop-out.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm saying we have a tie here.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_03: First round, the almost adult man beats the fuck out of a child.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_03: Round two, super science just trumps it, and then round three, their themes just slam into each other, and there's nothing they could do because cowboys.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so there you have it, folks.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: People who are upset by this are probably gonna be like, well, it's just raw power.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, raw power is is uh there's a thing that we talk about with double-edged swords.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's a big like it's a big it's a big uh phrase in our in our culture about you know having so much power and wielding it wildly and chaotically uh that you end up hurting yourself.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that Rick suffers from that.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: And he sure made sure Morty suffers too.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it just he hasn't become Hubert Farnsworth.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_03: So well, there you have it, folks.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_03: It ends in a tie.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_03: They obviously both have their strengths, but one has cowboys and one's on the list.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_03: So it ends in a tie.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, congratulations, I guess, to the listener.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you so much, everyone, for listening.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_03: Nate, adult man, Nate, thank you so much for joining us again.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's always great to have you.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for staying up so late.
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_03: We're just watching you uh, you know.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_03: No problem.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a pleasure.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a pleasure.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoy it.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not for staying up, but I enjoyed the chat.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we thank you for staying up.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_03: Hopefully, uh next time we do this, we can find a little more common ground as far as your schedule went.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_03: But that first time, me and James started drinking at fucking noon.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_04: That's true.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: So this is the turnaround.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'll make the sacrifice.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll love it.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_04: We appreciate it.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_03: We appreciate it.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_03: It was good material.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so there you have it, James.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for coming on as always.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone at home, thank you for listening.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_03: This is Hindry Podcast.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.