Latest / Motherhood Uncut / Your Kids and Substance Use | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 1 Episode 8

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Your Kids and Substance Use | Motherhood Uncut Podcast | Season 1 Episode 8 · Motherhood Uncut

• 0:00
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• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: In September, I'm jumping over to the Abundance Approach app with Susie Holman, and we are going to be talking about guilt, mom guilt, all guilt, how to move guilt out of the way, what to do about it, and actually how to use it wisely.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, our fabulous Deb Rubin.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: She has some incredible mother-daughter workshops coming up in September for mothers and daughters anywhere.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, they're from mothers, but they're going to help you learn how to connect deeply to your daughters, how to mother well.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Go on over to Deb's website to learn more.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I did this with both my daughters and it literally changed my life.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right, you all, thanks for being here today.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're really happy to have you and always appreciate you listening.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Please subscribe, download, rate, review, send to your friends.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So happy you're here.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hi Dev.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am pretty good.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty good.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling like we just sat here for the last 10 or 15 or 20 minutes trying to think about the perfect podcast topic because we have so many things we want to talk about, and we landed on a good one today, I think.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think so.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: You want to tell our listeners what we're going to talk about?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we have had quite a few inquiries about drugs and alcohol and how to mother through that.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to be clear that we're we are not experts on drugs and alcohol.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's who you ask.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: But and we are mothering adolescent girls, as most of our listeners know.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: So we are really going to be problem solving and riffing off each other with not a lot of answers today.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have 10 things you need to know about parenting your child through substance use.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And really, we're talking about that exploratory stage of adolescence when kids begin to try things and explore and push limits.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, Deb, you and I were just addressing the balance in this particular episode about sharing science and knowledge information, also just showing up as two moms who are muddling through this together.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you and I can't have these conversations without bringing to the table the things we know about relationships in the brain and all that stuff.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what we want you listeners to know today is that we have no idea where this will take us today.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: No idea.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: No idea.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: So put on your seatbelt.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready for this ride of conversation.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, Deb.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I am wondering if you could help us all out here by starting with, you've said this in previous podcasts, and I think this is actually a super useful thing for us all to begin with, which is what do we need to know about the teenage brain?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to like, even outside of the drugs and alcohol use, right?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the things you and I were just talking about is, you know, I come from, I'm gonna add something.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I come from a long line of wine drinkers, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like my mom, my grandmother, my aunts, my uncles, everyone used to always have a glass of wine in their hand, right?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I love wine, right?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I know even at my age, that wine, whether it's one glass or three glasses or whatever it is, you know, like it doesn't matter how quote unquote how much I'm drinking, even if it's just a little bit, I know it's impacting my brain.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: I feel it.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a fully formed brain.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: So what do we need to know about again, about the child brain as we dive into this conversation?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm actually gonna read my notes because I want to get it right because I wrote this down the other day as I'm constantly trying to make sense of it too.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: But the thing that we need to understand is that during puberty, the brain is under major reconstruction.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and the brain is actually preparing humans to be aware of social information, meaning it's like they are learning how to fit into a more complex world than ever before.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so their brains are actively changing and reforming around how to make sense of their world and their surroundings, and their feelings, and their feelings and like and how they show up in the world, and there's a huge desire for risk.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it actually is it gives them like stimulation, it makes them feel more alive, and risk can come in all shapes and sizes, you know.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: For maybe someone that's more of a rule follower, risk might be like, I'm not gonna do my homework today, you know.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: But then for a lot of kids, it's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna try vaping because I am so damn curious about what is all the hype, you know, and there's not there's not a lot of what am I going to feel in 10 years?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: There's not a lot of perspective, and that I think is one of the jobs as parents and mothers that we it is our job to lend perspective to often.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to lend that frontal cortex, yes, right?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the other piece.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to speak to that?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I I mean, I think you've already alluded to it, but I think there's this way in which we forget that our adolescent children don't have the brain capacity for true perspective taking.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: For true rational thinking as far as how will this decision I make right now impact me tomorrow.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: All of this executive functioning, which is frontal cortex, which is not fully formed until we're lots of different numbers, but 23, 24, something like that, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's even a little higher, depending on where you read.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: But basically, our brain takes a long time to form, and we forget that when we're parenting our kids.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: I forget that.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, didn't you know?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or that, you know, another thing also, and this is just part of the times right now, is that our kids are getting so much external stimulation, constant, constant, constant.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually one of the biggest causes of anxiety and depression for them right now because they don't, they don't know how to be bored.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: It is like such a sad thing that's happening in the world.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: I won't go down that road right now, but they don't know how to be bored, they're overstimulated all the time.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's so much input they're trying to metabolize.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think a lot of times they're seeking ways to quiet the chatter in their brains.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where we kind of lead to substance use, right?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because, and we'll go to that in a minute, but I just think the last piece around the brain is that there's this malaise that often comes with adolescence.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: That I know for me personally, I'm like, I've called you, we've called each other.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Of like, are they dumb?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Or totally why are they so blocked?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then we'll see.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm like, everyone's so apathetic in my house.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: No one cares about anything.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: And it makes you know, I'm sure there's more neuroscience about this, but my instincts are that their brains just turn off because they're working so hard, and that's when I always lean into compassion because their brains are just working so hard to survive right now.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just heard you say something that I'm gonna repeat because it's it sounds like a conflict, but it's not, right?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Which is that our teens are looking for both excitement and a turnoff.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: They want both, they want to feel jazzed and excited and that dopamine hit and that motivation and the rush of pushing boundaries, and they want to check out.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly right.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And of course we know that substances can do both.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay, that's helpful because I think one of the things that we have heard in the questions from our listeners, um, you know, is this sort of, I'm worried about my kid, right?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: What but one of the questions that we got that I thought was so beautifully stated was I remember doing smoking pot and drinking all the time in high school.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I survived.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: But when I see my teenage son doing these things, I'm terrified about what he's doing to his brain.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's this like we worry about our kids all the time.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then we don't know how to parent in those moments because we want to hold both.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: We want to hold the quote unquote normal teen behavior, which we know because we were there.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: With the now fully formed frontal cortex adult brain that can now see the possibility of all the negative impacts that can come from using substances and too many substances and substances at all during the time of a brain development.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's the worry we have for our kids.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's like endless.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it it reminds me of something else we were talking about earlier, and I actually just want to acknowledge to our listeners that I have noticed one of my in my conflicts of being on this podcast, of being in a world where I'm more exposed, is wanting to be super inclusive and not feel like um any of our listeners feel judged by ideals that I live by, mixed with wanting to be really, really authentic and some things that I do in my home and in my parenting, I want that to be the front face of me.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and I'm aware that I get nervous of either being seen as annoying or too out there or too this or to that, and that's just my adolescent brain actually kicking in.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just gonna name that because as we go through this particular topic, which holy moly, I was like such a risk person as a young person and risky kid, that I want to bring that into the room with you know vulnerability and just name it that I'm really conflicted right now about all of it.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I think um, I think this is a good time for us to remind our listeners that we love all of them, yes, and that we are not sitting here ever attempting to allude to this idea that someone is being a bad mother or screwing things up because we don't know where our listeners are coming from or what their version of best is, and all of our we we come to the table with all that stuff, and we want to really honor that.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what our listeners are here for is to hear our perspectives and our truth.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And isn't that funny that even you, Deb Rubin, who people are like, oh my gosh, because we're getting such feedback from this podcast.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, your podcast is so awesome.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: That even you are sitting here worrying that our listeners are gonna judge you.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to being human, right?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: So there you have it.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: There you have it.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna say one other thing.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: I have been re-watching the show Parenthood with my daughters, and it is so good.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I watched it when it first came out, and that was a really long time ago, and I'm watching it now through such a different lens.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: I still cry every single episode, but I'm now watching it through the parenting of adolescent lens because that the early the when I first was watching it, it was the little kid stuff.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: And wow, it's it just brings up so much compassion I have for all parents right now, around when our kids make bad choices, when our kids are just being kids, when our kids are being extreme.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, all there's just room for all of it.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: So and know that if you're a parent with a small child, not a teen yet, and you're listening to this episode, and you're maybe by the end of this episode gonna be thinking, oh shit, right?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to have to deal with that, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: When we get to this place, we just keep rolling.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's all we do.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: We just keep rolling.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm hopeful that our parents of non-teens listening to this will actually have maybe a little bit of a roadmap that they can use.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a question for you.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dive in to this topic.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll answer it too, but I want you to go first.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put you on the spot.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um when you think about your daughters, your kids who happen to be daughters beginning to use substances, alcohol, drugs.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, we are in Boulder, Colorado, where weed is legal.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Marijuana is legal, cannabis is legal, so we have a whole you just smiled at me today.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Use the word wrong word.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, you were you caught it because marijuana has is you know a legal term.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Cannabis is, you know, the re-ar-arising of this plant medicine.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: See, I see.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: You caught it.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I caught it.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: So we will say cannabis.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: So so in our community, yes, right, we now are not talking about cannabis as being an illegal drug because it's not here in the state of Colorado.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's protocol and rules around it, but it's a little age limit.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, just like alcohol, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not um, it's not an illicit drug.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Correct me if I'm using the wrong language.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um that said, here's my question.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: When you think about your kids using substances, what do you fear?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Fentanyl.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, great.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't the question, but I fear fentanyl too.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: What about fentanyl?
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: When you think about them using these substances, what are you fearing most?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Death?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fentanyl is like I'm dead.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's extreme, of course.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: What else are you fearing though?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: What do you fear with the idea of these substances?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Such a good question.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: I get worried that it's going to take away their motivation because a lot of times when a substance becomes kind of the priority of how we socialize, it actually changes everything that you prioritize in your life.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: So right now, where you know my kids are into sports, like I get worried that they're gonna go down this hole of like I'd rather be smoking or drinking than do my sport.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm laughing at myself as I listen because that happened to me at times.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think it happens for all of us, right?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know, independent of the amount of a substance that we're using, right?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you know, as as my teenagers begin to try new substances, that it becomes alluring.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's not, I mean, for many of us, getting a buzz on feels good.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're a teenager who is trying on some of those choices and feeling what it's like to have a buzz, and it's fun, like that, we're not talking about when, you know, I mean, I remember when I was a teenager trying alcohol for the first time and doing shots, and you know, you don't you don't realize that they're hitting until you're throwing up, right?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about that.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about the trying the alcohol, but when you're you've had just enough for it to feel fun and playful, yeah, and then you want that experience again.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right?
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And bonding happens, bonding and laughing, and and then you can feel like you're included in something that is that you want to be a part of.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is all wrapped up in all of that stuff that our teenagers are navigating, even without the substances.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: What's your biggest fear or big fears?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, it's funny.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: My I I will, you know, I um I have never really done any drugs.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um pot, cannabis, ganji, whatever we whatever we call it, like hasn't you know this?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's never, I it doesn't work.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't work.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I get a little paranoid.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm always like, yeah, not really my thing.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm a little bit of a, I mean, I was kind of a goody two shoes growing up.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: I did not break rules that often.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now that said, I grew up in New York City, and you could have a fake ID that someone made in their kitchen and show it to like a bar on the lower east side and get served drinks.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I spend many, many times in high school throwing up because I had drank too much.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm of two minds here.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: On the one hand, I'm like, no, I don't want my daughters to break any rules because I know that was my I don't think I really want that for them, but I'm afraid of breaking rules as a kid, and so I bring that to the table when I think about them.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I think I'm also like it is a slippery slope.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: God, it's kind of amazing that we're doing this together because I was not afraid of breaking rules.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know, and I was yin and yang.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's really it, and we both have the same fears, you know.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's actually a great point.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I think there's, I think our listeners probably know this, but there's a way in which I can see it with us right now.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: You and I are being mindful about how much to share on this podcast, knowing our daughters are gonna listen, and and not that we, I mean, this is gonna go into what do we do about it?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think you and I approach mothering our daughters from a very honest, curious, inquisitive place, and from that place of there's a difference between authenticity and transparency.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's not always useful for our kids to be totally transparent.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not always in their best interest to be totally transparent.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, they don't actually want to know all of our they like, I mean, this is real.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have studied this deeply that especially our girls, I because I've studied it more, but they still want to see us as um, I'm gonna use the word like perfect on some level.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Well, certainly in control, yes.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And and when they're feeling all the icks within, and then they see us being human, that's then they it it like breaks their heart almost.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: This is like a really interesting cycle because that's when they might rag on your clothes or make you the you know the punchline of a joke, and because they're seeing us through such a clear lens, but what they're also feeling is how unstable their world is.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: And they so on some level they still really want us to be these stable pillars of yes, like perfection is too loaded of a word based on the world we live in right now, but that they want us to be everything they want us to be, right?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: They project their needs onto us.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say though, I do think, and this is again, I know this is coming up for us right now because we're muddling through this right now, there's a way to show up as stable and in control and being everything they need us to do and be messy and uncertain at the same time.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: 100% which is what we embrace.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we don't want to be alluding to the fact, I know you're not saying yes, but just to clarify for our listeners that our children need us to quote unquote be perfect and know what we're doing all the time.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: That said, it's not act, that's not helpful.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's not how we're rolling, it's more that that's where their heartbreak and confusion plays in.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Which is the difference between authenticity and transparency.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because think we can be authentic and say, wow, I did this this weekend.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was homecoming.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's homecoming season, which I'm sure people can relate to.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a high school daughter, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is new for us.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: Parenting through this time of parties and and drinking and being out late is very new for us.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we actually had a whole conversation at dinner the night before homecoming about how we are figuring this out on the fly.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: We have never done this before, and that we're doing the best we can.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: And these are the rules and the the kind of perspectives that daddy and I have.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to try this, and we might do it differently the next time, but this is what feels right to us right now.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so we were balancing that up.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know, and we feel strongly in this moment that this is what we're gonna do.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Was that confusing, or does that make sense?
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, it makes perfect sense, and now we're gonna fill in the holes because you were speaking around it, which is absolutely appropriate.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: I want to go back to one thing, and that is this thing around transparency and authenticity.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: One thing, because I do want my kids to know who I am, right?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and and I have some big stories from my past, and like so I going to this point where they don't always want to know, I am really practicing based on their age, you know, peppering in little kind of teachable moments when they ask.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is actually a really important piece for me is to let them ask me when they're ready to gather more information, they usually come with a question.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's been a guide for me that has been helpful.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: And they haven't asked a ton until recently, and so when I do, like I recently shared about you know something bad that happened to me when I was drinking, and it felt like a really important moment to share with them of what could happen.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: And bring it into reality.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: But I had to work really hard to speak from a place of my adult, regulated self and not from my fear place.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this is actually, I think, one of the hardest parts of parenting through this is that we can so easily get activated from our fears, our history.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: And and it doesn't, we don't give clear, accurate information.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to bring it back to your dinner table conversation where you were authentic in the sense of we are this is our first rodeo, we're not really sure how this is gonna go, but these are the things that are important to us.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Would you mind sharing what those things were?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: So so Jamie and I have from the get-go been a parent team.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's one thing that's really important to acknowledge is that I think we've had to work hard to make sure that we are united front in these conversations.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Even if we're disagreeing, we can do that in a united way, right?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that we kind of come to a collaborative answer through conversation in front of our kids, but we're not gonna, we're not gonna fight about who's right and who's wrong, whose perspective is right and wrong.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: That feels super useful to us in our family and for me, thank God, in my parenting.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: So our from the get-go, we have been not parents who say absolutely yes or absolutely no.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's no absolutes.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: We're much more interested in having conversations around curiosity, how pulling out from them.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: What are you curious about?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because what's always been important to us, which I know is important to you guys as well, is that our girls continue to have conversations with us.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that they know that they can come to us.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: So pause.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: That I think is like the most important.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like with our listeners to really hear that, to keep that door open.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: So that they can come to us, the people that love them the most in the world, that are the safest people ideally, to reflect to help them problem solve all the things.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: I know that it's not realistic to assume that my daughter is gonna say no all the time.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, to drinking and drugs.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Not realistic.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: She may decide ultimately to not drink or do drugs, but for me to assume that she's always gonna say no to me feels like that's just putting us both in a trap.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I lean in to the assumption that she's gonna say yes.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then I want to educate her.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we actually got all of the liquor out on put it all out on our on our counter, the ooze and a shot glass, a beer, glass of wine, right?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: We got weed out, we got gummies out, right?
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: We got all of that stuff because we wanted them, our teenage daughters, to know what this stuff looks like, to see it in action, to see that this amount of vodka equals this amount of something else, right?
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, and so, so, so I think that's the approach that we've taken is okay, with the assumption that you are likely going to want to try these things, what do I want to make sure that you know?
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, education.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's probably the biggest part.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And and not to shame and blame the interest or the curiosity.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: When I was growing up, the people who did the most drugs and alcohol were the people whose parents said, Don't you dare drink or do alcohol.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that too.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's the pushing the limits.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to open up space so that they're less likely to push against something.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, love that.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: We had really similar conversations too.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: We, you know, we we went through some scenarios, like what are you gonna do in this situation?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: We we've talked about drugs, alcohol, we they know what cannabis looks like, they know all the forms, we've talked about mushrooms, I mean, we've talked about vaping, they've seen it all.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that we've been kind of peppering in for quite some time now, just and it's like around them, you know.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: They they they live in communities where like people are smoking cannabis and like just and people are drinking, you know, it's like that's just their world.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: And we talk about a lot about the adult brain, yeah, and adult brain behavior and adult behavior, also with the acknowledgement that we know what it's like to be a teenager.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um but we also played around with what do you do if you're in the park and the cops come?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, run.
• 26:30
  unknown: That's what I said.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, just actually and run.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like don't be alone, and because that's just like I don't know if that was the right answer, but it was sort of like, you know, unless you're in danger, of course.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about the difference of danger, you know.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: The other things we talked a lot about buddy systems, like I feel really strong about not being alone in sketchy situations, and then what do you how can you identify when you're starting to feel nervous about a scenario?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we brought in body awareness of like what's that first hit that this might be going to a bad place, and then we have a code of what she can text to us, both of them, and we will show up, no questions asked, end of discussion, you know.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's the part that we really focused on this weekend, too, is we will always have your back.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and we will actually have your friends backs too, yeah, right?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: That there will be no lecturing, we will have your back.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: So safety is number one, yeah, right?
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I got some beautiful advice from a good friend on a hike this weekend who has four boys, two in college, two in high school.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: And she, we were talking, because this is new, and I was sort of picking her brain, and we were talking about curfews because that is something else that comes up, you know, now during sort of party stages and all that.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And she made the most interesting point.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: She said curfews were never rigid in her house because she never wanted her kids to feel like they had to rush home.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: That is so good.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: That the need to rush home to quote unquote not get in trouble is often where kids, especially if they've already been drinking or smoking something, get in trouble because their decision making isn't on par, their judgment is off, and we don't want people jumping in a car, jumping in someone else's car just to get home on time.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought that was beautiful.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: And where I the reason I'm bringing in now too is this just idea of rigid rigid rules versus educating our kids to make good decisions for themselves.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I love that.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Mom of Four Boys.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: I know who you are.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, something that we also talked about was I I'm not a big curfew person yet.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: I I but I'm trying to help both my girls understand is like I know that in adolescence you want freedom.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: It is like freedom is like the best thing they can have.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so we have that conversation a lot that in order to have freedom, you know, I need to see that you make responsible choices.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so that doesn't necessarily be about what you put into your body, although that's part of the conversation, but it's how do you stay in touch with me?
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: How you know how do how do you keep communication alive?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: If I know that when you're going from one party to the park, like I want to know when that transition is happening.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: That to me feels like we're in this together and I can have your back.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: And the more responsibility you show me through making communication, you know, moves, then the more rope I give you.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I like that.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: This mom also said that she will, oh, if someone's not, if someone calls or texts and says, I'm not gonna be home by curfew, there's always a conversation, why, where are you, right?
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's part of what gives her the ability to say you can come home later or not, but she always wants to have a live conversation.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: She wants to hear their voice, right?
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because of what you're saying.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's like be in communication.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: I have a question for you because I know a listener who I'm sure this is coming up for, yeah.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I am wondering what advice you would give this mom.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, what if there were a mom out there whose kiddo, who she actually wasn't really worried about what her kiddo was doing.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a mom of a, you know, 15, 16-year-old boy who is whose tendency it is to push limits and who also struggles with a lot of anxiety.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so we know that things like smoking pot can help with anxiety for some people.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or go the opposite.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Or go the opposite.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: But for this person, it does help.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and she, there's a part of her who's like, I don't want to have to check your bag all the time and make sure you don't have pot on you because I don't know.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: On the one hand, I don't really care.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: But on the other hand, to our point, she she is really worried about this slippery slope, right?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are some kids that will try more and more and more things, right?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that for her the dilemma has been is it okay to give a little?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: If I give an inch, do I need to give a mile?
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I said that right, but do you know what I mean?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or with a kid like this, the question might be: does she need to have a hard stop?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing that there could be consequences to leaning in just a little bit.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think you and I are having this conversation with these four daughters who we actually know to be pretty self-regulated kids, right?
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now that could all change.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: We know they're still, but in this moment of time, they're pretty self, they they they know how to self-regulate to the best of their teenage brain's ability.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens if there's a mom with a kid and we're talking about substances where there actually might be more of a real-time risk of that becoming more slippery?
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's a hard there's even as I'm saying it, I'm like, such a hard question.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's a hard question.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the first thing I guess I want to acknowledge with this mom is that she really knows her kid.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: And that is actually always going to give some groundedness to the situation.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: She knows the kid with that the kid struggles with anxiety, there's a need of fitting in.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: She knows that sometimes cannabis can be helpful.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, it is a medicinal medicine.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and so there's more than alcohol.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: I would just like to agree.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think all the data backs that up.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I feel pretty strong about that.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: And um so I I think that this is definitely not a one-size-fits-all, but I think it goes back to their relationship.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing I think as parents we can do over and over is teach our kids how to self-reflect.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it is the most wonderful skill that does not come naturally, that's part of that perspective piece.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: And but we can teach it by asking them, you know, when you ate a gummy, how did you feel?
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: How did you like did what did that do for you?
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna ask, did you like it or did you not?
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: We're trying to ask open-ended questions, getting curious, opening up their curious minds so they can actually check themselves, and then it goes on.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: And how did you feel the next day?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And what do you how are you noticing how you're functioning in the world?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it I think that that kind of language actually opens up a door for them to start to become um not only self-reflective, but they start to deeply know themselves, and they have a parent's reflection of that, and that is what often leads to self-worthiness.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that's so good, and that's what we want.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: We want kids who feel worthy enough and respect them enough to actually make good choices to keep their bodies healthy and safe and well for themselves.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: That is so that is so profoundly important.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's really tricky.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love what you actually started with is she knows her kid.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm realizing as I'm hearing you talk that I know for me, certainly for a ton of women I work with and people you and I know, that those conversations can be really quickly led by our own fear and presumption in childhood.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: We're like a broken record on this podcast, but we have to, I think, remember that we can't have, to your point, when you talked about talking to your daughter earlier, you can't have those conversations unless you're in your adult brain.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: With your feet grounded, planted on the floor.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we need to like go take care of ourselves and then come back for that conversation.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's coming back.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: These are so tricky and they're so unique to each family.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I will say that when, and this might be a generalization, but I think when people go off the deep end with substance use, there's a lack of worthiness.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think you're right.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so that worthiness comes in the home.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that worthiness comes from deeply respecting our kids and earning their respect.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: I also know that that kind of intensive substance use and abuse that we're talking about now, not just trying things on, but really getting engaged in a way that's not healthy, um, that can sometimes be in opposition to what a parent is saying.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Or living?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yes, but I guess I mean more it can be a little bit of a fuck you.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: Not with every situation, but again, I think we want to be really careful as parents, especially parents of teens, about using words like right and wrong.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I am not afraid to say to my daughters, I am really hoping that you don't start drinking alcohol every weekend.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you why.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: These are the things that I worry about when it comes to your brain.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you choose that, I want you to still call me and make sure that you know that I'm here to help you if you drink too much.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that sort of dance between not judging right, wrong, good, bad, yes, no.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: But also being willing to share parental opinion and perspective.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: We do that with earned respect.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's something else.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, there's your daughter.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: She's out the window.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: She's so cute.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's another piece of that that is um, oh shit, I just lost my twin thought.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we do when our kids walk by.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about um strong, right, wrong, good, bad, yes, no, those like rigid, rigid, rigid rules that our teenagers were almost always pushbone on, right?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: Still.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there are some ways in which we're going in circles on this podcast right now, and I know we're coming to time.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually love it because we started today by saying we do not know where this is gonna go.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait, I thought it was a good thing.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, go, go, go.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: I do, and this is actually a good wrap-up is that in addition, I'm gonna recap some of the things we've said.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about curiosity, we've talked about respect, we've talked about education, we've talked about sharing appropriate shares versus being totally transparent.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about keeping it real, keeping the lines of communication open and having some flexibility.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: I also want to finish with we I think it's also very appropriate to share some ways to like do it well.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, I have told my oldest daughter, who is slight in her size, like you drinking is gonna look very different than so-and-so drinking.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: And here's some ways to really listen to your body.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: You can write down on your hand how many drinks you've had.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: You can have a bubbly water in between.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's nice to just have a can of something in your hand for a party.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and so those are things that I think bring some levity to it as well.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: Around like how can you, you're not promoting it, or I should own it.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: I am not promoting alcohol, and I actually feel really strong about that.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not at this day, at this moment, I am not the family that's opening up my house to have kids drink.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you guys have also, you and I have also talked about we're not providing our children who are at this age 14, 15, 16 with alcohol.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that does not feel good for us.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's a clean line for both of us.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and there's also ways to bring some levity into it as well, and like almost normalizing that we get it and we've been there, and we want to we want you to be safe and healthy.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's always the primary thing safe and safe and healthy, eating before you drink.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right?
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many things like that.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, gosh, no right answer, right?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I actually think to to your point earlier in the podcast, we can be pretty clear in this podcast right now that you and I both believe that drinking or drugging beyond the sort of adolescent limp, you know, pushing the limits, those things are not good for a child brain when it's developing, right?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: So anytime a kid is drinking to excess or drugging to excess, we want to take that very seriously, both because we know that might be an escape from some feelings, emotions that a kid is struggling with.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to take that as a red flag.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: We also know that's not good for a developing brain.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we want to be really involved and curious and conversational with our kids so that if that starts to happen, we can actually pull back and look at what is actually going on here.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, kids are gonna be kids.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's normal in adolescence to push boundaries and try to try new things.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we just want our kids to have the information that will keep them safe.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, absolutely.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: And moms, we want to remind you to be vulnerable with other moms, right?
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like goodness, because there's so many moments where I can feel clear and then Kate can feel clear, and then moments in the the next hour where we're in tears.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm like, sometimes I just want to be the cool mom.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_00: Forget about my daughter trying to be the cool kid.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: I but that's problematic.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: That is problematic.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: And like, so that's where I um always like find the people you can lean on to get have hard conversations with, bounce ideas back and forth.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: This mom of four boys, she's been down the road, she's a mentor mama for both of us, you know, and like and like go to those people whom you trust and then come back to what you know is right for you.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to say that when we started this podcast today, and I'm even feeling it now, like I feel like I'm a little all over the place, but you have totally grounded me.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, thank you.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're like you are.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of my favorite things about talking with you about mothering things, even if I know you're as spinny about it too, is that when the words come out of your mouth, they're actually pretty simple.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that complicated if we really go back to what matters most.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel better after today.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_01: I feel better too.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: I love you.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: All right, goodbye, everyone.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: See you next week.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: Please add your comments because we are so curious what you think.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: All right, peace.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go have a drink.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.