Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 91 | Long Daddy

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91 | Long Daddy · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: As we've talked about, eric, I now own a home.
• 0:03
  Matt: You own land, yes, and with it comes some land, not a ton, but a little bit of land, but I do back up to a pond.
• 0:14
  Eric: You do, and it is y'all.
• 0:16
  Eric: It's a majestic little pond it is.
• 0:20
  Matt: It does have, like this island of growth in the middle.
• 0:22
  Matt: That is, now that we're getting into warmer months it's becoming a little bit more marshy, yes, but it has caused we're sort of nestled in the woods in our neighborhood and it does cause what we refer to as a menagerie of wildlife to show up.
• 0:41
  Eric: I mean, when I was there, there was like six deer.
• 0:44
  Matt: Yeah, we have a team, we have a team of six deer that come around fairly regularly, like to eat the shit in our yard.
• 0:51
  Matt: I like, I like the deer quite a bit, even though they're probably bringing ticks into my yard.
• 0:56
  Matt: But oh yeah, the, you know, I do like the deer, they do make me happy.
• 1:00
  Matt: We have, uh, we have some foxes that can be seen if you're there, if you're looking out the window at the right time, because they're quick, they're you know they're sly, oh, I almost missed them?
• 1:13
  Matt: Yeah, exactly, we got some bunnies.
• 1:15
  Eric: Bunnies.
• 1:16
  Matt: We have so goddamn many birds and squirrels that it'd knock your socks off.
• 1:24
  Matt: We have hawks, we got tons of Orioles.
• 1:27
  Matt: We have robins, we've got woodpeckers.
• 1:31
  Eric: You're rocking an entire ecosystem here, my guy.
• 1:35
  Matt: No, truly, there is an entire ecosystem, for sure.
• 1:38
  Matt: Raccoons We've got raccoons as well, and all of this to say that it all brings me, yeah, great joy.
• 1:46
  Matt: You know I, it's very relaxing.
• 1:49
  Matt: I, we got a little bench out there by the pond.
• 1:51
  Matt: I like to sit on the pond to have lunch late I like to do these things.
• 1:54
  Matt: A blue heron came by last week um to the pond.
• 1:58
  Matt: Found no fish immediately left but stop by.
• 2:01
  Eric: It gave you a chance but it's not by.
• 2:04
  Matt: And we have a ton of frogs, so many frogs spring peepers, bullfrogs.
• 2:08
  Matt: Truly, we have a menagerie.
• 2:12
  Eric: This sounds pastoral.
• 2:13
  Eric: This sounds.
• 2:16
  Matt: Yes, you can sit on our deck or in our room with all the windows that we've talked about before and watch wildlife all day long if you so desired, and my parents have been here a couple times, and my mom seems to want to do nothing, but do that, just sit and so, all in all, it sounds very nice, very lovely.
• 2:34
  Eric: But oh, what's this I spot on the horizon?
• 2:36
  Eric: Is that a?
• 2:36
  Eric: Is that an incoming but?
• 2:39
  Matt: but there it is, damn it, it Crash landed, oh.
• 2:42
  Matt: But in the last week or two, a new challenger has approached.
• 2:47
  Matt: Uh-oh, a new animal has entered my kingdom, oh, and I don't find him to be a welcome guest.
• 2:59
  Eric: Okay, okay.
• 2:59
  Eric: So this is very much a new creature's entered the king's wood.
• 3:06
  Eric: Yes, and the king is not pleased.
• 3:09
  Matt: Now the creature in question, and I think everything will become clear when I say this is a goose.
• 3:18
  Eric: Oh yeah, it's a goose.
• 3:18
  Eric: You don't want no part of that man.
• 3:20
  Matt: It's a goose.
• 3:21
  Matt: He's shitting everywhere, as geese tend to do.
• 3:24
  Matt: Oh, you're fucked.
• 3:24
  Matt: But here's the thing, eric, he's a goose.
• 3:25
  Matt: He's shitting everywhere, as geese tend to do.
• 3:25
  Matt: Oh, you're fucked.
• 3:26
  Matt: But here's the thing, eric, he's a Canadian goose.
• 3:27
  Matt: What is the thing about Canadian geese that you'd think is kind of their thing?
• 3:33
  Matt: They're ornery as fuck.
• 3:36
  Matt: Well, sure, there's that.
• 3:37
  Matt: I feel like geese and swans just are that way, but don't they normally, you know, know, travel in a flock?
• 3:46
  Eric: uh yeah aren't they this?
• 3:48
  Matt: one is this one alone.
• 3:50
  Matt: They normally travel in a flock.
• 3:51
  Matt: This one is alone, lone goose, and he's just hanging out.
• 3:56
  Matt: He's not leaving, he's just there, and you know I don.
• 4:02
  Matt: He's pooping everywhere.
• 4:04
  Matt: This is annoying to me.
• 4:04
  Matt: So I have yelled at the goose from the window a couple of times and I've said goose, get on out of here, get on get.
• 4:13
  Eric: So what you're saying is the goose is loose.
• 4:16
  Matt: The goose is loose, and what's funny is when I yell at him, he does listen.
• 4:20
  Matt: He does exit my yard, goes to the pond.
• 4:23
  Matt: Oh nice, he'll fucking come back.
• 4:25
  Matt: Oh yeah, I'll come back.
• 4:26
  Matt: And I want you to what I'm about to say.
• 4:29
  Matt: Eric might sound like I'm putting on a show, that I'm putting on a persona yeah, but the following thing happened I went out on Thursday to have my lunch.
• 4:37
  Matt: My little Sammy, yeah, on the bench.
• 4:40
  Matt: I get to the bench, I look to my right who's sitting on the banks with me?
• 4:45
  Matt: But the goddamn, are you shit dog?
• 4:49
  Eric: and so I hit him with the like go on, get oh, okay, for a second I thought you struck the goose get on out of here, go on.
• 4:56
  Eric: No, but you got it.
• 4:57
  Matt: You hit him with one of them and he didn't move and I had already sat down.
• 5:01
  Matt: I didn't see him before I sat down and we have all these squirrels and stuff, so I was nervous about leaving my sandwich because it might get stolen by a squirrel.
• 5:08
  Matt: Yeah, a squirrel could run off with my whole goddamn lunch.
• 5:11
  Matt: So I don't want that.
• 5:12
  Matt: And so I'm sitting there and I so I'm just yelling at a goose, I'm like go on, get.
• 5:17
  Matt: And he's like, and I'm like no shoo.
• 5:30
  Matt: And I threw a stick past him, like I want to be very clear.
• 5:34
  Matt: I was not trying to hit the goose, I was trying to intimidate the goose.
• 5:38
  Matt: Your honor, your honor, I have better aim than that.
• 5:42
  Eric: Your honor the goose was loose.
• 5:44
  Matt: Your honor, the goose is a goose and the your.
• 5:47
  Matt: The judge said oh asshole.
• 5:49
  Matt: And said innocent.
• 5:51
  Matt: So I've dealt with them geese.
• 5:54
  Matt: So I'm like a reverse tony soprano now I.
• 5:58
  Matt: I'm now finding fault with the geese so I get at one point I give up.
• 6:03
  Matt: He's sitting there, I'm sitting there.
• 6:04
  Matt: I assume it's a he, because he's he has an attitude that says angry man this is oh here, much like myself here comes a man oh great, here comes a man.
• 6:17
  Matt: Couldn't have been a bear, had to be a man and so I look over to my right at one point I'm trying to do my contemplations, but I'm distracted by the goose that I'm worried might attack me for some reason, maybe because I'm yelling at it.
• 6:27
  Matt: And this is the part that I think people are going to think I'm making up.
• 6:33
  Matt: I'm not making this up.
• 6:34
  Matt: This is how I live my life.
• 6:35
  Matt: He starts standing on one leg Okay, like a flamingo, like he just pops up.
• 6:48
  Eric: Pops the kickstand up on one leg.
• 6:49
  Eric: Everything about this paints a picture of this goose is trying to send you a message, and it is not good.
• 6:52
  Matt: So I turn to the goose and I say I say to the goose, I'm talking to a goose now, eric.
• 6:57
  Matt: I said what am I supposed to be impressed?
• 7:01
  Matt: I said this, I said this out loud, in the privacy of my backyard, and the goose turned to me and went, and so then I finished my sandwich, I could safely chase the goose into the water, which is exactly what I did, and he honked at me along the way, and so I thought this is how it's going to go.
• 7:22
  Matt: I'm just going to yell at the goose from time to time.
• 7:23
  Matt: Just so happened, we had this intimate moment out on the bench.
• 7:27
  Matt: And then yesterday, eric, oh man, I got my windows right here to the right.
• 7:32
  Matt: Sometimes them deer, they come right up to the window, they just come right on up to eat the grass by my house, and so I can get real close.
• 7:41
  Matt: If I don't move, I can observe them real close.
• 7:42
  Matt: I can get real close.
• 7:43
  Matt: If I don't move, I can observe them real close.
• 7:44
  Matt: Yeah, real, real close, like two feet away.
• 7:46
  Eric: Their brains haven't even processed that there's something behind that shiny piece of glass.
• 7:51
  Matt: If they see me, they'll look at me long enough to be like are you going to come out here?
• 7:55
  Eric: All right.
• 7:56
  Eric: No, You're going to leap through that tiny hole and murder me.
• 7:59
  Eric: Yeah.
• 8:00
  Matt: So they're eating away, I'm enjoying them.
• 8:03
  Matt: Yeah, so they're eating away, I'm enjoying them.
• 8:04
  Matt: I got my little coffee.
• 8:05
  Matt: I'm like, look at me observing my nature in my house, everything's nice.
• 8:09
  Matt: And then all of a sudden their heads pop up on a swivel, they start jumping around and I'm like whoa, what's going on?
• 8:17
  Matt: What's going on?
• 8:18
  Matt: I'll tell you what's going on.
• 8:19
  Matt: Out of the woods comes charging the goose.
• 8:22
  Matt: He's chasing my deer.
• 8:25
  Matt: Now eric, bro, this goose chasing my deer around.
• 8:29
  Matt: And eric, I want you to know.
• 8:31
  Matt: I didn't hesitate.
• 8:32
  Matt: I said oh fuck, no, you're not fucking with my deer, absolutely not.
• 8:38
  Matt: And so I I power it out the back door and go hey, get the fuck out of here to this goose.
• 8:47
  Matt: And I want you to know, everyone and in this case everyone is wildlife, the deer, the goose, they all stop and look at me.
• 8:55
  Matt: I have everyone's attention.
• 8:57
  Matt: I have six deer and a goose looking at me and I said get the fuck out of here.
• 9:03
  Matt: And somehow, by the grace of nature, they all understood that I was talking to the goose, because the deer stayed and the goose left.
• 9:12
  Matt: Oh, my god.
• 9:18
  Matt: So I have an all-out war happening with the goose, and I don't know if the mic picked that up.
• 9:27
  Matt: But that squishy sound you heard just now listeners was eric rubbing his eyeball.
• 9:33
  Eric: He was, I had, no, I I like.
• 9:37
  Eric: Surely that's not getting picked up by the?
• 9:39
  Matt: that was.
• 9:39
  Matt: It was loud enough that I heard it over here.
• 9:42
  Eric: Oh man, thank you sure for this wonderful mic.
• 9:45
  Matt: And hear my how hard are you rubbing them?
• 9:48
  Eric: oh, bro, you gotta, you gotta get it stop, eric.
• 9:52
  Matt: It's not good what you're doing now.
• 9:53
  Matt: You gotta get in there, eric.
• 9:55
  Matt: It's soft tissue, my guy, you don't want to be doing because I massage it can't let it get firm.
• 10:01
  Eric: no, eric, it's soft because it's a weak point.
• 10:04
  Eric: I can't have my eyeballs getting all al dente.
• 10:14
  Matt: So, eric, I say all this to say what do I do about my loose goose.
• 10:18
  Eric: Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us Now beginning Goose Watch 2K24.
• 10:24
  Eric: Goose Watch 2K24.
• 10:30
  Eric: You for joining us now beginning goose watch 2k 24 goose 2k 24, a new segment we just invented right now.
• 10:33
  Matt: Uh yeah, goose watch, this is gonna be an honor, this is 100.
• 10:36
  Eric: I am so invested in your relationship with foulest foul.
• 10:40
  Eric: Yes, yes, so, yes, so yes.
• 10:43
  Eric: Good foul ball, so fair and foul.
• 10:47
  Eric: A joke I have not heard.
• 10:52
  Matt: Yes, oh, we got geese and Shakespeare in the cold open.
• 10:55
  Eric: Ladies and gentlemen, yeah, this is a bit now Fucking dude dude.
• 11:12
  Eric: So so far it, the goose, is testing your limits right now.
• 11:18
  Eric: I want you to know that this is, do you know, in jurassic park.
• 11:21
  Eric: He's like oh yes, the raptors.
• 11:23
  Eric: They ran at the wall and they're testing us that, that is, that the goose is poking at your defenses right now.
• 11:32
  Eric: He's respectfully backing off.
• 11:34
  Eric: He doesn't want to.
• 11:35
  Eric: He doesn't want to, he's looking for a weak point, full-out war.
• 11:38
  Eric: Yeah, no, he's.
• 11:39
  Eric: He's looking for that chink in your armor.
• 11:42
  Matt: He's ain't gonna find one.
• 11:44
  Matt: Oh, I'm fortified.
• 11:46
  Eric: Okay, I'm fortified baby and I'll tell you something else.
• 11:49
  Matt: I think this podcast has already begun.
• 11:51
  Matt: So hello everybody and welcome to you.
• 11:54
  Matt: Didn't Ask For this the podcast answering life's least pressing questions, my name's Matt.
• 11:58
  Matt: Shea, my name's Eric Poach.
• 12:00
  Matt: What would you have me do listeners about the goose I I'll.
• 12:08
  Eric: I'll tell you this much tell me, you're a brave man, thank you.
• 12:11
  Eric: You have not only yelled at the goose, you have, thank you, tossed a stick in the goose's general direction in the general at the goose cannot emphasize that enough I've done similar when there's a bird, like when I was like, I was like, yeah, I was like, if I make a noise happen somewhere in its vicinity that it can't tie to me, that it might freak it out and it'll leave if it attacks them deer again, I will throw a stick at the goose.
• 12:35
  Matt: I'm not afraid and I'll hit it oh, you're gonna hit the.
• 12:38
  Eric: Would you hit the goose?
• 12:39
  Eric: Look me, look me in eyeballs right.
• 12:41
  Eric: Would you throw hands at that goose, eric?
• 12:45
  Eric: The world is listening.
• 12:46
  Matt: Eric.
• 12:46
  Matt: He is attacking six peaceful, beautiful deer.
• 12:49
  Eric: Has he physically attacked the deer has he come-?
• 12:53
  Matt: Yes, he chased them around, he chased them, but did he strike them?
• 12:58
  Matt: Are you suggesting that him chasing him around is not malicious intent?
• 13:03
  Eric: No, I just want to make sure that we're tempering narratives here.
• 13:08
  Matt: I'm not going to hesitate to hit a goose, I'll never.
• 13:10
  Matt: Okay, not with my bare hands.
• 13:13
  Matt: No, if he charges me I'll run away.
• 13:15
  Matt: I'm afraid you can't strangle it.
• 13:17
  Matt: Good luck, can I not?
• 13:20
  Matt: He's got that neck.
• 13:20
  Matt: He's got so much neck.
• 13:22
  Matt: That's what I'm saying.
• 13:23
  Matt: It seems very grabbable.
• 13:24
  Matt: Wow, man, I feel I've never.
• 13:27
  Eric: I've never, I've never you know, fouled a fowl.
• 13:29
  Eric: Onze is your brave man, man, canada gooses would not fucks with.
• 13:34
  Matt: And to our Canadian friends let me know how do I deal with your geese?
• 13:36
  Matt: Yeah, how do I Matt Shea?
• 13:48
  Matt: Not how do I murder them.
• 13:48
  Matt: How do I get them?
• 13:49
  Eric: to go back home or go elsewhere.
• 13:49
  Eric: I'm a I don't mean just gonna stay here all summer.
• 13:50
  Eric: Look, I'm not trying to speak for other people here and their experiences, but canadians, I'm gonna.
• 13:54
  Eric: I'm just gonna go ahead and guess that the answer you're gonna get is that you wait until the goose gets bored with you eric, we'll see, I'm just.
• 14:04
  Matt: All I'm saying is I don't like this goose's attitude.
• 14:06
  Eric: No, that's fair.
• 14:07
  Eric: Hey, that's fair, that's fair.
• 14:09
  Eric: I'm just saying goose, watch 2K24 about to.
• 14:12
  Matt: We got a good thing going here in my menagerie.
• 14:15
  Matt: Okay yeah, everyone's having a good time and this goose is coming in here to ruin it.
• 14:22
  Eric: Man, do I have to be the Ian Malcolm to your John Hammond?
• 14:24
  Eric: Maybe you do, okay, maybe you fucking do.
• 14:27
  Matt: Okay, and with that, how about a question?
• 14:31
  Eric: Yeah, let's get into it All right.
• 14:35
  Matt: so we actually had a question that we poured, that has been poured over from last episode, that we didn't quite get to, eric, would you like to present it to us now?
• 14:46
  Eric: this question comes from none other than dj joey g.
• 14:50
  Eric: Dj joey g, that's my best friend, joey.
• 14:52
  Eric: If the theory about all of reality being a simulation is true, what are some real life examples of quote glitches or bugs in the simulation?
• 15:04
  Matt: that's from dj joey g.
• 15:05
  Matt: Thank you, dj these are the kinds of things that keep joey awake at night okay, sure, but also like, did it keep him away at night or did he just see the matrix?
• 15:15
  Matt: Because I'm pretty sure the matrix provides an answer to this and it's deja vu.
• 15:20
  Eric: But true, deja vu is one example, obviously, but like what are?
• 15:25
  Eric: Other examples like like what are things that happen in our lives?
• 15:29
  Eric: I'm like that was a fucking glitch in the matrix.
• 15:32
  Matt: Yeah, so you got one teed up for us, eric I do.
• 15:35
  Eric: Yesterday we were driving down 95 and looked over and there's a gentleman just chugging a modelo while driving.
• 15:43
  Eric: Oh a what?
• 15:44
  Eric: A modelo the beer the beer and like when we say chugging like, not like sipping, like actively chugging the modelo.
• 15:53
  Matt: Yeah, one hand, other hand on the steering wheel he was having himself a good old-fashioned rodelo and I assume, just to be clear, you called the police.
• 16:04
  Eric: Yes, Well, we saw him as we were like we did not have time to get license plate or anything.
• 16:10
  Eric: We never saw it, so it was just like we didn't have time to go what the fuck?
• 16:15
  Eric: And he was just gone, oh, like a mirage.
• 16:18
  Eric: So that felt like a glitch Because it was like running two different programs at the same time.
• 16:25
  Eric: It was like he was on Friday night program and drive car program at the same time.
• 16:30
  Matt: I guess yeah, I don't know that that is a glitch in the Matrix so much, as it is just Deeply upsetting Deeply upsetting to me anyway that you would see such a thing.
• 16:41
  Matt: Yeah, because I feel like a glitch in the matrix is somewhat I talked about this before like the time I saw when I was a kid.
• 16:50
  Matt: I saw my priest, monsignor Yutz.
• 16:53
  Matt: I saw Monsignor Yutz in street clothes in a grocery store and specifically those street clothes were a whole were.
• 17:03
  Matt: Were was a hawaiian shirt, shorts and flip-flops, and I had to stare at him a moment before I said wait a minute, hold on.
• 17:13
  Matt: I know you, we've talked about this before, but that I'm saying seeing someone outside of where they're supposed to be.
• 17:21
  Eric: You know, yeah, that that seemed unusual to me that is true, the reason I'm looking at you like this, with a face of like, of hmm, oh, did I freeze no you unlocked a childhood memory for me and I'm not fucking with you when I say this when I went to church as a child.
• 17:38
  Eric: Yeah, we had father, father gene, father gene, he ran like the the children's mass.
• 17:43
  Eric: He was very, very nice, very jovial man, sure.
• 17:47
  Eric: I once ran into him in a supermarket.
• 17:49
  Eric: Okay, in his street clothes, nice matt, he was wearing a hawaiian shirt, shorts, oh my sandals.
• 17:58
  Matt: Are you shitting me?
• 17:59
  Eric: no, I'm not, I've told this.
• 18:00
  Matt: I've told this story on the podcast before.
• 18:02
  Eric: You didn't mention this I, I know, but like, I forgot, like, because I was like when you said, father yutz, the way somewhat, the way you would say, uh, the way you could communicate only if you had a connection to a childhood priest and excuse me, how dare you, monsignor, sorry, monsignor yutz.
• 18:20
  Eric: Um, it made me think of father gene.
• 18:23
  Eric: I I was like, oh right, I did run into Father Gene one time out in the wild and he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals, do you think so?
• 18:33
  Matt: okay, did you have a conversation with Father Gene?
• 18:36
  Eric: No, or if we did, it was just like a brief, like hi, father Gene.
• 18:40
  Matt: Because I saw this man and I said Monsignor Yutz, and he was like, matthew, how nice to see you.
• 18:46
  Matt: And so you know, we were chatting and I said, well, the only thing I could think of which is I didn't recognize you at first Cause you know no collar and whatnot.
• 18:57
  Matt: And and he was like, yeah, sometimes, uh, I, you know, we'll go in street clothes when we have you know something to do and we don't necessarily want to be recognized.
• 19:07
  Matt: And I was like, oh so I really ruined that for you, really fucked us up.
• 19:11
  Eric: So you're screaming across the room.
• 19:12
  Eric: Oh my senior you.
• 19:15
  Matt: Yeah, I guess from time to time they want to just be able to get groceries without having to bless something.
• 19:23
  Eric: Having to fight several demons in the Wegmans.
• 19:26
  Matt: But instead they got the demon that is me appeared to them.
• 19:31
  Eric: My senior, yes, Silence.
• 19:33
  Matt: Matthew Silence, don't let them know.
• 19:37
  Eric: Here, have a cracker, have a seasonless, flavorless little cracker.
• 19:45
  Matt: It's seasoned with the Lord.
• 19:47
  Eric: Enjoy.
• 19:48
  Eric: Wash it down with alcohol.
• 19:51
  Matt: That an 80-year-old woman just drank out of here you go, so I do.
• 19:58
  Matt: Okay, have you seen a Catholic priest down the wild in a Hawaiian shirt?
• 20:02
  Matt: Tell us your experience.
• 20:04
  Matt: A catholic priest down the wild in a wine shirt?
• 20:06
  Matt: Tell us your experience.
• 20:07
  Matt: Perhaps what we are discovering is this is some sort of you know, to put this in soccer terms a third kit, if you will, and you know the alternate uniform where I was going with that elusive.
• 20:17
  Eric: Where I was going with that is matt.
• 20:18
  Eric: It may be not a glitch, but not not so much a bug but a feature of the simulation is that when you see your monsignor out in the fucking wild, he's going to be in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts.
• 20:29
  Eric: Are you a?
• 20:30
  Matt: Catholic priest?
• 20:31
  Matt: If so, tell us two things.
• 20:34
  Eric: Give us your secrets One.
• 20:36
  Matt: Okay, what isn't the Vatican telling us?
• 20:39
  Matt: I don't want all the secrets maybe.
• 20:41
  Matt: I just want to know about.
• 20:43
  Matt: No, you can take the gross secrets to the police.
• 20:46
  Matt: Give me the cool illuminati secrets yes, give the other secrets to chris hansen and to me.
• 20:52
  Matt: I just want to know about the hawaiian shirts.
• 20:54
  Matt: And also, why are you listening to this show?
• 20:58
  Eric: I just like what is the draw are you trying to get your finger to the pulse of sin?
• 21:04
  Matt: do you think that's what we do here?
• 21:05
  Matt: Do you think we, too are the biggest sinners in the podcast game?
• 21:10
  Matt: No, we're not the biggest sinners.
• 21:12
  Eric: But like, Okay, good Mosquitoes need a pool to breed in.
• 21:17
  Eric: Yeah the water's fine.
• 21:19
  Matt: I actually think it's in my backyard.
• 21:21
  Matt: Yes, because them skeeters have come in too.
• 21:25
  Matt: Oh, yes, they have.
• 21:27
  Eric: No, I don't call them skitas, I don't think, I like to think fondly that the vatican is monitoring our activities.
• 21:33
  Eric: Oh, probably.
• 21:34
  Eric: Uh, it is like we're kind of like the waffle house index of of degeneracy throughout the land.
• 21:40
  Eric: I feel like, as long you know, they listen to generally.
• 21:42
  Eric: Okay, this isn't too bad, all right.
• 21:47
  Matt: I happen to know that papa frank is a big fan.
• 21:50
  Matt: Uh, big, big.
• 21:51
  Matt: Oh.
• 21:51
  Matt: Yeah, uncle frankie, absolutely, if you were the pope, if you send us an email and you have questions boy, god matt what a.
• 22:00
  Matt: This episode is taking a weird religious turn.
• 22:03
  Eric: But what, what a poll would that be if the Pope did offer to be on our podcast?
• 22:08
  Eric: Oh, but he has to come to us.
• 22:11
  Eric: We're not asking him.
• 22:14
  Matt: He has to come to us.
• 22:16
  Eric: But man, but also imagine the version where we get flown into Vatican City like Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code.
• 22:21
  Eric: Yes, where we get led to the Pope?
• 22:24
  Matt: Well, we would, yeah, because we're gonna need a translator, obviously we.
• 22:27
  Matt: You know my high school spanish ain't doing so hot, so we'll have to.
• 22:32
  Matt: We'll have to get a translator in there too okay all right.
• 22:36
  Matt: Well, this is quite the side mission we've invented for ourselves.
• 22:40
  Eric: Yeah, glitches in the simulation.
• 22:42
  Matt: Yeah, glitches in the simulation, yeah, glitches in the simulation, so we have seeing your priest in a Hawaiian shirt.
• 22:49
  Eric: Yeah, that's a glitch.
• 22:49
  Matt: And actually checking my notes, that's all we've come up with.
• 22:54
  Eric: So far yes.
• 22:55
  Matt: Yes.
• 22:57
  Eric: I sincerely believe that oatmeal raisin cookies were a glitch that just got in.
• 23:01
  Eric: They didn't feel like fixing it because we liked it so much.
• 23:03
  Matt: Are you one of these people that refuse to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie?
• 23:07
  Eric: No, I'm just always set.
• 23:08
  Eric: They're fine, they're great, I love them.
• 23:10
  Eric: But every single time I have gone to reach for an oatmeal cookie it's because I was reaching for what I thought was a chocolate chip.
• 23:20
  Eric: They taste fine, they're great, love them.
• 23:22
  Eric: Ain't no chocolate chip.
• 23:24
  Matt: There's no chocolate chip, and that's what I was going to say as well.
• 23:27
  Matt: Same point you have to know that it's an oatmeal raisin, because, I agree, there's nothing worse, nothing more disappointing anyway, than preparing your mouth to receive a chocolate chip cookie and being greeted by oatmeal raisin.
• 23:44
  Eric: There's nothing worse no, it'd tear my eyes out.
• 23:45
  Eric: But this isn't something I struggle with a chocolate chip cookie and being greeted by oatmeal raisin.
• 23:46
  Eric: There's nothing worse.
• 23:46
  Matt: No, it tear my eyes out but this isn't something I struggle with.
• 23:49
  Matt: I can look in oatmeal raisin and see it for what it is.
• 23:52
  Matt: I'm not that confused.
• 23:53
  Matt: Yeah, are you.
• 23:54
  Matt: I'm asking you honestly now are you honestly unable to tell the consistency of an oatmeal cookie versus a regular?
• 24:01
  Eric: I should add a clarifier, and I don't mean this to come off as me moving the goalposts, but it would behoove me to clarify, okay, that usually this is a situation where I'm reaching for a like a cookie that's under cellophane, or like wrapped a whole bunch, like it's coming like a lot like I know what I mean, where it's like all I can see is the color and little, little dark spots and I pray to god, I pray to the lord.
• 24:27
  Matt: Pray to uncle frank.
• 24:27
  Matt: I feel like you could probably ask the person at the counter, but no, that's too.
• 24:31
  Eric: That's way too much intimacy.
• 24:34
  Eric: Uh, that's, that's too forward that's too forward.
• 24:38
  Matt: Okay, interesting, interesting.
• 24:40
  Matt: Where else might one encounter one of these glitches?
• 24:44
  Matt: Do you think Maybe we need to settle on like a where would it happen?
• 24:47
  Matt: Kind of thing?
• 24:49
  Eric: I feel like it's the kind of shit that happens, like when either no one else is looking at it or you are alone.
• 24:58
  Matt: Do you think that's ghosts?
• 24:59
  Matt: Could we call ghosts glitches?
• 25:02
  Eric: If reality were a simulation and we cannot disprove that it is uh, I suppose not yeah, I would absolutely believe that ghosts are glitches in the matrix.
• 25:13
  Eric: It's like, uh, it's, it's running through past programming or it's like those beta files are yes yes, I see, I see I could get down with that.
• 25:23
  Matt: I could, could believe the the mandala effect.
• 25:25
  Eric: I believe it is 100% a glitch in the simulation.
• 25:29
  Matt: That's that is a great thing.
• 25:31
  Matt: We are all for sure.
• 25:32
  Eric: We are remembering a previous patch.
• 25:35
  Matt: Yeah, the we and I know you've mentioned this on the show before the fruit of the loom.
• 25:40
  Matt: Logo for example.
• 25:42
  Eric: Yes of the loom logo, for example.
• 25:51
  Eric: Yes, um, the.
• 25:51
  Eric: What's another famous one, apparently, kazam or shazam, the movie with uh, what's his face?
• 25:54
  Matt: as a genie.
• 25:54
  Matt: Oh, oh uh yeah, um, oh, my god shack sinbad, um no, no, it's sinbad, I think, or no?
• 26:00
  Matt: Kazam is a real movie.
• 26:01
  Matt: That's the.
• 26:02
  Matt: That's the movie with shack, yeah that's the movie.
• 26:04
  Eric: That's what I was talking about.
• 26:04
  Eric: Um, but that is a real movie.
• 26:05
  Eric: That's the movie with Shaq.
• 26:05
  Eric: Yeah, that's the movie with Shaq.
• 26:05
  Eric: That's what I was talking about.
• 26:07
  Matt: But that's a real movie.
• 26:08
  Eric: There are people who thought that movie I know that is a real movie and there are people who thought it was called Shazam and swear up and down that it was and that's weird.
• 26:16
  Eric: But I think there was a movie called Shazam.
• 26:19
  Eric: But there was a Marvel movie, but that's not.
• 26:21
  Eric: Or DC movie, but that's not what I'm referring to.
• 26:25
  Matt: The situation is and I just looked this up to double check that people are misremembering that Sinbad starred in a Kazam-esque movie called Shazam.
• 26:37
  Matt: Oh, he did, but he didn't.
• 26:41
  Matt: That's the mandala thing I think people are remembering, if I were to venture a guess, kazam starring Shaq, yes, as Sinbad in Shazam, but then, if I'm not mistaken, it was like on Funny or Die or something.
• 26:59
  Matt: Sinbad did make a Shazam movie, like a trailer for it, to add to the mythos.
• 27:08
  Matt: Okay, but yeah, but that's definitely one, definitely yeah.
• 27:13
  Matt: So Mandala effects Yep, deja vu, deja vu.
• 27:17
  Matt: And your, your drunk driver, I think, is he's more of an NPC, I think.
• 27:24
  Matt: Yes, that's an npc glitching yes, rather than a glitch in the simulation.
• 27:30
  Matt: Correct, because a glitch in the simulation to me says we're seeing through the veil, you know yes, yes, yes, yes something's been exposed oh I wasn't meant to see that.
• 27:40
  Matt: I wasn't meant to see that.
• 27:42
  Matt: Yeah it.
• 27:42
  Matt: It's like in the Truman show when, uh, there's that brief moment when the elevator doesn't quite close and he can see that it's like a break room back behind it, yeah, like cardboard.
• 27:53
  Matt: That's the moment.
• 27:54
  Matt: It's the moment of.
• 27:55
  Matt: I wasn't supposed to see that.
• 27:56
  Matt: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 27:58
  Matt: I like this.
• 27:59
  Matt: I, you know, I feel Talk to us about it.
• 28:11
  Eric: Give a call to the thought line 410-929-5329.
• 28:16
  Matt: Absolutely yeah.
• 28:17
  Matt: Send us an email, do whatever you want.
• 28:18
  Matt: Let us know your glitches.
• 28:20
  Matt: Anyway, shall we move on to the next question?
• 28:23
  Eric: there, we shall, and this comes from Corey from the World Is my Burrito podcast via Zach Deuce.
• 28:31
  Matt: Yes, zach was very clear.
• 28:32
  Matt: He wanted to give credit where credit is due, so he did bring it to us, to our attention.
• 28:37
  Matt: But it was the world is my burrito.
• 28:39
  Matt: That was talking about this originally.
• 28:41
  Matt: So, corey, you didn't specifically submit this, but nevertheless, thank you for the question.
• 28:45
  Matt: Thank you, corey.
• 28:47
  Eric: The question is why are they called daddy long legs?
• 28:50
  Eric: What's the daddy part all about?
• 28:53
  Matt: Now I think I'd'd be remiss, eric, when we were talking about questions, to not tee you up to talk about what you were saying off mic with uh, the bow and yang, oh yeah sketch.
• 29:04
  Eric: There is the famous snl sketch.
• 29:06
  Eric: If you ever just want to, if you ever just need a quick hit of serotonin, just google snl daddy long legs.
• 29:12
  Eric: Um yeah, it's a fun time it's.
• 29:15
  Eric: It's a good old time, uh, where bone yang plays a, a child at a at a school performance, doing his report on daddy long legs as daddy long legs with the other bugs it's delightful.
• 29:29
  Eric: I won't I won't spoil it too much now, as is my want.
• 29:33
  Matt: I did do a quick google before we started recording to see if there's a scientific answer and, I'll be honest, I did some scant research.
• 29:42
  Matt: Okay, but from what I was able to tell, no one clearly knows where the daddy part came from, which only validates my, my theory.
• 29:54
  Matt: Go on like ever ever.
• 29:56
  Matt: It's pretty clear where the long legs came from, yeah, but how daddy got thrown in there.
• 30:02
  Matt: No one seems to agree.
• 30:04
  Matt: So, eric, what I'm seeing is a big open gap for us to drive into.
• 30:10
  Matt: Yeah, it's just now.
• 30:14
  Matt: You say you're.
• 30:16
  Eric: You're indicating to me you've got a working theory already I do have a working theory hit me and it's it's simple.
• 30:22
  Eric: I I hope it's not too simple to uh, but but much in the words of our, of our acting professor p, simple yet complex okay, uh I like it, the reason he's called daddy long legs.
• 30:40
  Eric: Yeah, he's daddy.
• 30:41
  Eric: Okay, in the animal kingdom, there are animals that exude different energies, energies that we have actually nicknamed for for people in our society, like, for example, a bear is like a thicker hairier, like man, that's a bear.
• 31:00
  Eric: Yeah, that's a bear.
• 31:00
  Eric: Uh it, and I learned this when I was working at the renaissance festival from one of my castmates.
• 31:06
  Eric: Uh, who's a delightful.
• 31:09
  Eric: Him and his husband were, were on cast and they were two of the sweetest and funniest human beings I've ever known.
• 31:15
  Eric: Um, yeah, once sat me down and taught me all the delineations.
• 31:20
  Eric: They were like Eric, you, you, you know of bears, you would be what we would probably call a wolf.
• 31:25
  Eric: Um, and then there is an otter, which is like a bear, which is like you're like the live, like you know, oh, yeah, like, yeah, nimble, nimble, nimble, jack, be, nimble was not, and wet and wet and inexplicably wet, inexplicably wet, and you, so I, so like we've done that as a society, right, like we've we've.
• 31:50
  Eric: We've said like ah you have the aspect of a bear.
• 31:52
  Eric: We shall call you a bear, I think that little bug.
• 31:55
  Eric: I don't know how he does it, but there's something about his energy.
• 32:00
  Eric: When you see him come towards you it's like, oh, that's daddy here comes daddy.
• 32:05
  Matt: Now I know that daddy long legs are and I also want to ask do you say daddy long legs or daddy long leggers?
• 32:12
  Matt: Because I feel like people say both.
• 32:14
  Eric: Okay, I say daddy long legs because I have never heard another human being in my fucking life Call it really long leggers until this moment.
• 32:25
  Eric: Oh that is not.
• 32:26
  Matt: Is that a?
• 32:26
  Eric: Pennsylvania thing?
• 32:27
  Eric: Is that a Lancaster thing?
• 32:29
  Matt: No, I don't believe so, my friend the.
• 32:31
  Matt: So let me pull up the long leggers.
• 32:34
  Matt: Okay, believe so, my friend the.
• 32:35
  Matt: So let me pull up the long leggers.
• 32:37
  Matt: Okay, so the folicade, folicade which isn't even a spider no, that it is.
• 32:43
  Matt: Uh, the folicide is an animorph spiders.
• 32:48
  Matt: The family consists of more than 18.
• 32:50
  Matt: Yeah, what did think it was?
• 32:52
  Eric: I'm always told that, like, oh, it turns out, long legs isn't actually a spider, it's an insect.
• 32:56
  Eric: What the fuck?
• 32:58
  Matt: Okay, well, I don't think that person's real.
• 33:00
  Matt: Okay, um, the family contains more than 1800, uh, 1,800 individual species of folicids.
• 33:09
  Matt: That's a lot of daddy, including the commonly known cellar spider, daddy long leg spider, carpenter spider, daddy long legger.
• 33:19
  Matt: This seems to indicate there's two different versions the vibrating spider, jesus, the gyrating spider, long daddy and skull spider.
• 33:29
  Matt: I'm gonna tell you two things now, eric.
• 33:32
  Matt: What I was, what, what I was gonna say is, when a daddy long legs or a daddy longleg or whatever the fuck you want to call, when these daddies show up, I know that they're supposed to not be harmful to humans and that they're super deadly to other spiders and other insects and they're actually good to have around.
• 33:46
  Eric: They're amazing to have in your house.
• 33:48
  Matt: They're doing the Lord's work, absolutely not my house, not fucking my house.
• 33:53
  Matt: I'll tell you that right now, not in your carefully curated garden of delight.
• 33:58
  Eric: No, they can go in the garden.
• 33:59
  Eric: They can go in the garden all day long they belong out there.
• 34:02
  Matt: If you enter now, listen I I I've said this before.
• 34:05
  Matt: I've told you my trauma with spiders and where my arachnophobia yes yes, and for new listeners that came from a latrine in the woods, when they in a boy scout account, when they uh swarmed, um, my um, what was it?
• 34:22
  Matt: Oh right, asshole.
• 34:23
  Matt: Yes, so spiders up the butt, is going to give you a level of a zero tolerance party policy?
• 34:31
  Matt: Yeah, if you will.
• 34:32
  Matt: So I will say if I see a daddy longlegs dead, it's dead.
• 34:38
  Matt: Oh, yes, man.
• 34:39
  Eric: Peru.
• 34:40
  Eric: See, I just I leave daddy longlegs on If it's a spider.
• 34:43
  Eric: I don't want my house, I just get.
• 34:45
  Eric: I do the classic cup and piece of paper, I just scoop it on.
• 34:50
  Matt: The cup and piece of paper is a honor, is a benefit that I give only to stink bugs Such as what do you mean?
• 35:02
  Matt: Such as?
• 35:03
  Matt: Such as stink bugs?
• 35:04
  Matt: Oh, sorry.
• 35:05
  Eric: Oh sorry, I thought you said to distinct bugs.
• 35:08
  Eric: I was like do you have like a white list of spiders that made a list individual families of stink bugs.
• 35:17
  Matt: I was like, isn't there the?
• 35:18
  Eric: one, I don't know.
• 35:19
  Eric: Spiders that have received your blessing no no, no To pass through your lens unharmed.
• 35:26
  Matt: Just bugs that have a defense mechanism that will affect me after death.
• 35:30
  Eric: Yeah, those are the only ones that get.
• 35:34
  Matt: They get a valet service outside, an uber eats or an uber delivery service outside of my home.
• 35:42
  Eric: Yeah, no, everybody else dies.
• 35:44
  Eric: Now I'll tell you this for free.
• 35:46
  Eric: Like I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I'm like universe, like I have a I have a salt shotgun for flies bought that.
• 35:54
  Matt: Okay, I was just talking about the salt shotgun to Lindsay and she says it'd be ridiculous to get.
• 35:59
  Eric: It works very well.
• 36:01
  Matt: But doesn't it require very good aim?
• 36:04
  Matt: Not really.
• 36:05
  Matt: And aren't you left with salt all over your house?
• 36:08
  Eric: No, it just shoots like a pinch of salt.
• 36:12
  Matt: Yeah, but isn't that salt then?
• 36:13
  Matt: Just getting all over a pinch of salt, it like but isn't that salt then just getting all over?
• 36:16
  Eric: I mean, if you're so.
• 36:16
  Eric: So basically, when you go to load it, you load it with a like like a, like a bake, like a healthy of salt.
• 36:21
  Eric: So pretty much if you scattered that, or it's good for like 50 shots, so it's like you.
• 36:27
  Eric: You just it's a tiny amount and I'd rather have a little bit of salt somewhere on my floor than flies in my house.
• 36:35
  Eric: Why don't you just get a?
• 36:37
  Matt: fly swatter.
• 36:38
  Eric: Those.
• 36:38
  Eric: It works so much it's literally you just point at the thing and it's dead, like I don't have to fuck around with it, landing on like any.
• 36:46
  Eric: How much was this thing so you can get them cheap this?
• 36:49
  Matt: armament.
• 36:49
  Eric: Mine was 50 bucks 50 bucks you spent on a salt gun.
• 36:54
  Eric: Yeah, I think Was it 50?
• 36:55
  Eric: It might have been 30.
• 36:56
  Eric: It also looks cool.
• 36:59
  Eric: It's got like nerf.
• 37:02
  Eric: Of course, that's why you paid for it, Eric.
• 37:05
  Matt: You didn't pay for a good way to get rid of bugs.
• 37:09
  Matt: You paid to shoot bugs with a gun.
• 37:11
  Eric: Flies specifically.
• 37:12
  Eric: All other bugs are cool by me, yeah right.
• 37:15
  Eric: Flies specifically.
• 37:16
  Matt: All other bugs are cool by me.
• 37:16
  Matt: Yeah, right, I hate flies.
• 37:17
  Matt: Yeah, and listen.
• 37:18
  Matt: I understand, okay, that some of you might be reaching for the keyboard.
• 37:21
  Matt: Send me an email about all the reasons I should let spiders live.
• 37:24
  Matt: You can save the energy.
• 37:26
  Matt: Okay, You're not going to say anything to me that will get me to stop my murderous rampage against spiders?
• 37:33
  Eric: Gang, speaking on behalf of one of my closest friends in the entire world.
• 37:37
  Eric: There ain't no taters where you're digging.
• 37:39
  Eric: My man is entrenched.
• 37:42
  Matt: You can type up those emails, you can send them.
• 37:46
  Matt: I'll tell you.
• 37:47
  Matt: Maybe if I'm feeling like I want to extinguish your fire, I'll say you've convinced me, but I'm going to speak on behalf of future man.
• 37:55
  Matt: You did not.
• 37:56
  Eric: that is a lie what's a lot, what a power move saying yeah like yeah, I'll tell you you were right.
• 38:02
  Matt: No, but I'm just gonna keep on murder yeah, just know that if I respond to you saying I think you've convinced me, I'm gonna let them spiders live, one is actively being murdered yeah, so daddy long legs, so the daddy long legs.
• 38:16
  Eric: I do want to bring it back real quick to the list of spiders you read off the vibrating and gyrating spider vibrating, gyrating but also long daddy, long daddy.
• 38:29
  Eric: He gets his own theme song like he gets out, he pulls up in his little car, it's his nice little car, and he gets out and she goes.
• 38:37
  Eric: It's got like the super, like the 70s, like funky fucking beat I am scanning.
• 38:46
  Matt: I am scanning this wikipedia article for a link or something to the long daddy and it in the intro is the only place long daddy appears Long daddy.
• 38:58
  Matt: Long daddy, don't mess around.
• 39:04
  Eric: Long daddy don't want you.
• 39:05
  Eric: No on his affairs list.
• 39:06
  Eric: He want you to.
• 39:08
  Eric: No, we long daddies, we just take it as it comes.
• 39:13
  Matt: Oh, a little bit of a ghoul, yeah, walton.
• 39:18
  Eric: Goggins, we've been busting that quote out.
• 39:20
  Eric: Oh, we cowboys, we take it as it comes.
• 39:22
  Eric: We take it as it comes, our cowpoke.
• 39:24
  Matt: Take it as it comes, the one Walton Goggins quote from Fallout.
• 39:27
  Matt: There's so many good ones, but besides the thesis statement of the Fallout games games which is thou shalt be distracted by bullshit every time, besides that, the one that I like saying around the house is now that is one tiny little drop in one great big barrel drugs.
• 39:49
  Eric: It's so I say that every time I take a melatonin.
• 39:58
  Matt: That's just one tiny little drop.
• 40:00
  Matt: Oh man, yeah, fallout's so good.
• 40:04
  Eric: So all that to say?
• 40:05
  Eric: My working theory is that genus, and now that you've read off all those different ones, I am even firmer in this belief, because they all come from, like it comes from the, the class of spiders that fuck these spiders, fuck, these spiders, fuck, and we need to acknowledge that.
• 40:23
  Eric: And this one, that's daddy let me see.
• 40:27
  Matt: Let's see if we can get some long.
• 40:38
  Eric: Let's see what they do okay, I god, I, I want that show.
• 40:43
  Eric: I want the long daddy tv show.
• 40:45
  Matt: I'm just googling the, the reproduction.
• 40:47
  Matt: Oh wait, here from science news, independent journalism.
• 40:49
  Matt: Oh wait, hear from Science News, independent journalism since 1921.
• 40:55
  Matt: The weird mating habits of daddy long legs.
• 41:00
  Eric: I bet they are.
• 41:01
  Eric: I bet they're nasty.
• 41:03
  Matt: I bet they're nasty.
• 41:04
  Eric: We're about to learn a whole lot about deity.
• 41:07
  Matt: Most of us just think, ew, when we see them.
• 41:10
  Matt: But they have this really fascinating suite of mating behaviors.
• 41:14
  Matt: Yeah, they do.
• 41:16
  Matt: The same basic stuff happens with all species in the clade, but the details vary quite a bit.
• 41:23
  Matt: The mating ritual starts with individuals bumping into each other.
• 41:26
  Matt: Scientists don't yet know how males and females find one another also known as getting funky.
• 41:33
  Matt: Go on getting funky with it.
• 41:34
  Matt: Then, shortly thereafter, males will attempt to engage their females in what's called a mating embrace.
• 41:40
  Matt: They hook their pita palps, a type of appendage, on the front of their arachnid, behind the female's sensory legs, and then sorry, can we get some some sexy music in the background.
• 41:54
  Matt: I feel like that's suddenly appropriate.
• 41:56
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, cue the sexy.
• 41:57
  Matt: Go on, matt.
• 41:58
  Matt: And then there's a bunch of back and forth between males and females that varies in duration across the species.
• 42:10
  Eric: Keep it cool girl, I'm just going to stop kissing up your legs.
• 42:14
  Matt: You're just going to feel your sensory legs as I tell you that mating can last for 15 seconds in some species and three to four hours in others.
• 42:28
  Matt: The male then delivers a nuptial gift and his ejaculate and the pair separate.
• 42:33
  Matt: Yeah, it's daddy, ain't it just the way?
• 42:38
  Matt: That's why the daddy, that's why the daddy.
• 42:42
  Eric: They get a show, they get treated so right and they're like, oh, by the way, they get a nuptial gift.
• 42:49
  Matt: They get a nut-tual gift.
• 42:51
  Matt: They get a nut, nice Eric.
• 42:52
  Matt: They give the nuptial gift and then they're out of there.
• 42:55
  Matt: They give you a gift basket.
• 42:57
  Matt: They're not so much daddies as they are fuck boys is what I'm starting to get, daddy fuck boys.
• 43:04
  Eric: Daddy, daddy fuck legs.
• 43:05
  Eric: Daddy fuck legs, daddy fuck like yeah, but I do like it's like, it feels like.
• 43:11
  Eric: It's like hey, we both know what this is.
• 43:12
  Eric: I'm gonna treat you right, I'm gonna give you this, give you some presents and goodbye.
• 43:17
  Matt: All right, music bring that music back.
• 43:21
  Matt: The male actually grabs the female's second leg and then they shake them by one leg and in fact this is so particular to the second leg that males, who initially grab other legs on the female, will continue to search until they find that second leg.
• 43:46
  Matt: So there's something really cool going on here.
• 43:51
  Matt: End quote.
• 43:53
  Matt: He's cool.
• 43:58
  Eric: Long daddy, long daddy, put her there, girl Put her there.
• 44:08
  Matt: Us daddy long legs, take as it comes, I want to say, but the current season, the amazing race, is awful.
• 44:16
  Matt: It's really bad, okay, but there is one person on it named rod who is, who does have some good gems from time to time, and he's this big ox of a man.
• 44:27
  Matt: He's a former nfl player and you know so.
• 44:30
  Matt: He's this huge muscular dude and he there was a.
• 44:33
  Matt: There was a challenge where they had to do welding.
• 44:37
  Matt: That was actually the whole challenge, like welding this thing, figure out that that's a good challenge In a shipyard and then this is the best part of the whole season To get the check.
• 44:46
  Matt: They bring it over to this shipment.
• 44:48
  Matt: Who takes this giant hammer?
• 44:50
  Matt: They're just welding a corner of two little tiny steel plates and the man takes the hammer and hits it on the corner to see if it can withstand the blow.
• 44:59
  Matt: And then he does it again and he raises this hammer up like Thor and brings it down, and it's so satisfying when it breaks apart.
• 45:09
  Matt: But when Rod's held firm, when he got it to work, he went racing back to his partner.
• 45:15
  Matt: It was a detour, so only one of them can do it, you understand, and so they or a roadblock, I should say.
• 45:20
  Matt: And so they do.
• 45:22
  Matt: You watch the music?
• 45:23
  Matt: No, no, oh, it's very good, you should, I should.
• 45:25
  Matt: Not this season, not this season, okay, but anyway.
• 45:36
  Matt: So he goes back and he says in, not unlike the voice we've been doing, what can daddy build for you?
• 45:45
  Eric: And so.
• 45:45
  Eric: Lindsay and I have said throughout the previous week or two, what can daddy build for you?
• 45:52
  Eric: So in short, father, long legs.
• 45:53
  Eric: Daddy, fuck boy Father long legs.
• 45:56
  Eric: Father long legs, father thick knees, he will walk up.
• 46:02
  Eric: He will start basically smooching their feet while shaking their leg.
• 46:06
  Eric: Yeah, and then nut.
• 46:10
  Matt: And then hand that nut that nuttual and a nuptial gift as well, in addition to the ejaculate.
• 46:19
  Eric: Oh, I thought the nuptial gift was the ejaculate.
• 46:21
  Eric: What's the?
• 46:21
  Eric: I think it's a.
• 46:23
  Matt: I don't know, Eric, A nice Prosecco perhaps.
• 46:29
  Eric: I got you this edible arrangement Nut.
• 46:33
  Matt: Here you go.
• 46:33
  Matt: I got you a lovely little vial of shea butter and, oh yeah, my ejaculate, not to be confused with my shea butter.
• 46:44
  Eric: I was about to say.
• 46:46
  Matt: I'm not playing, I am not the long legger in this scenario.
• 46:50
  Matt: What has happened to?
• 46:55
  Eric: us here.
• 46:56
  Eric: Girl, I got you the pink Stanley Cup tumbler.
• 47:01
  Matt: Don't look inside of it.
• 47:03
  Matt: Please Take it home first.
• 47:05
  Matt: I got you this chocolate covered popcorn and a mystery bag here, girl.
• 47:11
  Matt: I got you this Whitman sampler.
• 47:14
  Eric: Oh here, girl, I got you this Whitman.
• 47:17
  Eric: Sampler.
• 47:18
  Matt: Oh no, no, there's Whitman's in it.
• 47:22
  Matt: Why isn't this one filled?
• 47:25
  Matt: Oh, I'll tell you why it's not.
• 47:30
  Eric: Oh, those cherries are most cordial.
• 47:32
  Eric: Now I do declare.
• 47:34
  Matt: Yeah, now we're going.
• 47:35
  Matt: Fodwar and Leghorn, now I know.
• 47:36
  Eric: Oh, those chairs are most cordial now I do declare yeah, now we're going Foghorn Leghorn.
• 47:38
  Matt: Now I know, oh man so that's why Daddy wants his daddy.
• 47:43
  Eric: There you go, Corey and Zach.
• 47:45
  Eric: I don't know how much clearer we could spell that out.
• 47:48
  Matt: I don't know how much more detail you need, oh man Get it on.
• 47:51
  Matt: Daddy Get it long, Daddy Get it on daddy.
• 47:54
  Matt: Get on, get along, daddy, get it long, get it strong, live long and die, baby, live long and die.
• 48:06
  Matt: All right, eric, I think, as, as we had a premonition about, I don't think we have time for that.
• 48:16
  Eric: Third, question no we don't it's a good one.
• 48:18
  Eric: It's from my beloved, but we will come back for you.
• 48:22
  Matt: We'll come back for you, don't you worry, Alyssa?
• 48:25
  Matt: We'll put that in the queue for next time and in the meantime, eric, we have to move on to a very pressing issue, which is the back half of round one of season four of Google Gripes.
• 48:37
  Matt: For those of you new, google Gripes is a little game that we play from time to time.
• 48:43
  Matt: We've done three seasons, and this is the fourth now, of what has traditionally been well-known places and we read one-star Google reviews of those well-known places and have a little guessing game if we can figure out the well-known place based on the one star reviews.
• 49:01
  Matt: This time we're mixing things different.
• 49:05
  Matt: We're doing taking that as it comes, we're doing well-known movies, well-known movies, and if you didn't listen last week, uh, eric, eric was up first with the reviews.
• 49:17
  Matt: I was doing the guessing.
• 49:18
  Matt: I believe I only got one.
• 49:20
  Matt: You got one, so so far it's one, nothing, but of course you have not yet come to bat, but we're gonna change that right now.
• 49:29
  Eric: And, gang, if you are just now joining us, let me tell you how I, how I'm sweating, because there is.
• 49:36
  Eric: There are a few things you can objectively state about most relationships in your life.
• 49:42
  Eric: You know human dynamics.
• 49:43
  Eric: They shift, they ebb.
• 49:44
  Eric: You can't ever say like this is for sure, like this is I am.
• 49:48
  Eric: Objectively, this You're Matthew Shea makes me look like a drooling idiot when it comes to knowledge of film, oh, about movie?
• 49:58
  Matt: Yes, absolutely yes.
• 50:00
  Matt: You mother, yes, no, I think that is true.
• 50:04
  Matt: But you have, eric.
• 50:06
  Matt: I want to say you've been hammering this point so hard and when we originally were talking about this in the presence of Lindsay, you and Lindsay both ganged up on me to be like now Matt, basically you said now, matt, you got, if you're going to do this, you got to behave yourself, which I heard and interpreted it as I have to lower my standards down to Eric's level.
• 50:32
  Matt: So I have three films here that I think and I think this is the barometer that we should know, because you're not going to have seen necessarily all the movies, and neither have I, but I think there are some films that it is reasonable to assume you know about If I wasn't raised in a barn and I don't live under a rock.
• 50:58
  Matt: I should know these movies and, with that in mind, I have picked three movies oh, hit me, baby and I have ordered them in, as is our tradition, what I believe is easy to hardest, and I am a little worried they're all too easy.
• 51:11
  Eric: Get along, daddy Long Shea, I guess what.
• 51:14
  Matt: I'm saying is if you get three for three, I was set up, I was set up, okay and okay, you had an unfair handicap all right, this is becoming the new sort of meta in google gripes.
• 51:26
  Eric: we have to cushion every round like, just so you know, if you win, I let you, I let you?
• 51:35
  Matt: Okay, all right, but hit me.
• 51:36
  Matt: First film, first review.
• 51:39
  Matt: Are you ready?
• 51:40
  Matt: I am ready.
• 51:41
  Matt: Don't see it if you are a vegetarian, I got up and left.
• 51:46
  Eric: Okay.
• 51:48
  Matt: Review number two the blank are all women.
• 51:52
  Matt: Automatic zero, okay, okay.
• 51:56
  Matt: Third review the big lizards made me big spook and I jump.
• 52:01
  Matt: This movie should be for big boys because of how scary it was.
• 52:05
  Matt: Okay, I can go through that one again if you so desire.
• 52:10
  Eric: I just want to hear the third one again but I tell you what, eric.
• 52:13
  Matt: I will give you the third one again, but I do, for each of these have a bonus review that I came across and wanted to include, but do not think it helps you in any way okay, sick okay, the bonus review is stop posting one star reviews.
• 52:28
  Matt: This movie is better than your entire life.
• 52:32
  Eric: Please tell me that was a one star review, it was.
• 52:35
  Matt: They're all one star reviews.
• 52:40
  Eric: Delightful.
• 52:40
  Matt: Okay.
• 52:41
  Matt: So the third one was the big lizards made me big spook and I jump.
• 52:45
  Matt: This movie should be for big boys because of how scary it was.
• 52:48
  Matt: Okay, and those are your four reviews.
• 52:51
  Eric: So what I know.
• 52:52
  Eric: Don't watch if you're a vegetarian.
• 52:54
  Eric: The blanks were all women.
• 52:55
  Eric: Okay, so I'm getting the vibe.
• 52:59
  Eric: This does sound like a horror movie, or at least like a scary, action-y kind of movie.
• 53:05
  Eric: Don't watch if you're a vegetarian, tells me there's a lot of like meat eating, possibly cannibalism Possibly.
• 53:12
  Eric: The blank are all women.
• 53:14
  Eric: Automatic zero.
• 53:15
  Matt: I will say, if you're going to try to look up these reviews, I did edit that one besides the blank, to add the and all in brackets.
• 53:26
  Matt: I think I have a guess, okay.
• 53:28
  Matt: Okay, you think you have a guess.
• 53:28
  Matt: I was going to give you a hint, but if you're ready to guess, you don't need.
• 53:30
  Matt: I think I have a guess.
• 53:30
  Matt: Okay, I'll see.
• 53:31
  Matt: Okay, you think you have a guess.
• 53:31
  Eric: I was going to give you a hint, but if you're ready to guess, you don't need, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to.
• 53:36
  Matt: Is this the descent, the descent.
• 53:41
  Matt: What a pull, eric.
• 53:43
  Matt: Is that your final answer?
• 53:44
  Matt: That is no damn it is incorrect and you are going to kick yourself.
• 53:51
  Matt: Oh, what was it?
• 53:52
  Matt: Because you oh fuck mentioned this movie.
• 53:57
  Eric: Me in god damn it, son of a bitch.
• 54:01
  Eric: Oh, oh oh.
• 54:03
  Eric: I have just dishonored my house so hard.
• 54:06
  Eric: It's one of my girlfriend's favorite movies of all time and I fuck we are discussing jurassic park yeah, we are, because the dinosaurs are all women.
• 54:17
  Eric: Yeah, big spoo, big lizards.
• 54:19
  Eric: I thought big lizards would give it away too.
• 54:21
  Matt: I and I.
• 54:22
  Matt: I I will say I was going to include a review that had something to do with steven spielberg, but I thought that's too big of a hint.
• 54:29
  Matt: I think yeah.
• 54:31
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Okay.
• 54:33
  Matt: Okay, all right.
• 54:34
  Eric: Wow, god, I am abs Kick, kick, kick.
• 54:37
  Matt: Hey, now you know how I feel, because that's how I felt about Home Alone.
• 54:40
  Matt: Yeah.
• 54:42
  Eric: As soon as you gave me the answer.
• 54:51
  Matt: I was like, film for film, we're tied at zero because I got the second one and not the first or third.
• 54:53
  Matt: So here we go.
• 54:54
  Matt: Are you ready?
• 54:54
  Matt: Okay, I'm ready.
• 54:54
  Matt: The Blank Series is one of the worst film franchises of all time and it is not worth watching at all.
• 55:02
  Matt: Bad writing, bad acting from rather great actors, boring music and it is disrespectful to all things fantasy and fantasy related.
• 55:12
  Matt: One out of ten.
• 55:13
  Matt: Okay, ready for the second review?
• 55:16
  Matt: Ready?
• 55:17
  Matt: I was forced to watch this movie on a bus to Montreal during a very long field trip with my school.
• 55:25
  Matt: I had expected something bad, but from the intro on I was disgusted.
• 55:30
  Matt: Had expected something bad, but from the intro on I was disgusted.
• 55:35
  Matt: The only humor in this movie is extremely crude humor and nothing else.
• 55:37
  Matt: Blank is a one-dimensional character who is such a bully that nobody can relate to him, let alone a terrible role model for kids.
• 55:45
  Matt: Also, the parts where a literal blank was falling in love with a princess was so disgusting.
• 55:51
  Matt: Literally two different species kissing and getting married on the spot Like what the hell.
• 55:56
  Matt: Okay, so we got a very problematic second review.
• 56:00
  Eric: Yeah.
• 56:01
  Matt: And I got a third.
• 56:02
  Matt: And again, for each of these I do have a bonus, so there's a bonus as well.
• 56:05
  Matt: Okay, it's so bad.
• 56:08
  Matt: I don't like DreamWorks Absolutely awful.
• 56:11
  Matt: Me and my brother are the target age demographic and we still hate it.
• 56:15
  Matt: One willy wonka hat out of 13 boo what the fuck?
• 56:21
  Matt: And all of that feels like misdirection.
• 56:24
  Matt: Basking it eric all right, you want your bonus review yeah, bonus review.
• 56:30
  Matt: When I first laid my eyes upon this new coming-of-age film, I was flabbergasted, horn-swoggled, if you will, absolutely mind-boggled.
• 56:40
  Matt: This work of art changed my life forever.
• 56:44
  Matt: I watches this movie as a boy and came out a man when I finished it.
• 56:50
  Matt: I now know blank is love, blank is life.
• 56:54
  Matt: Blank lives in all of us.
• 56:57
  Eric: After rewatch mid okay, okay, okay and again.
• 57:06
  Matt: Take all the bonuses with a grain of salt, because I include them, because I think they're funny, but I don't actually think they help you, matthew.
• 57:16
  Matt: Yes, sir, yes, sir, what can I do for you?
• 57:20
  Matt: So I know what it is.
• 57:21
  Matt: Talk me through it.
• 57:22
  Eric: Oh, you know what it is.
• 57:23
  Eric: I know exactly what it is because, very unfortunately for you, beating the fuck around the bush with it, the bonus review did give it away, really, because shrek is love, shrek is life.
• 57:35
  Eric: That is a well-known internet saying, and so you think it's shrek.
• 57:40
  Matt: I think it's shrek.
• 57:42
  Eric: Damn, you are correct I should not have included the bonus review oh, as soon as I heard blank is love, blank is like, I was like the first three, just immediately click.
• 57:51
  Eric: I was like, oh, donkey and the dragon, he's a bully because he's a and fan.
• 57:54
  Eric: I was like bam dream, we're okay, all right well, hey, I included the review.
• 57:59
  Matt: Oh, I'm giving you that bonus review on the third one after you guess now yeah lesson learned?
• 58:05
  Matt: I thought I was.
• 58:06
  Matt: I thought I was helping you out with only comedy.
• 58:10
  Matt: If I didn't say that, do you think you would have gotten it?
• 58:15
  Eric: I think I would have gotten there.
• 58:16
  Eric: I knew it was like okay, it's CGI, it's fantasy, and I wasn't sure if DreamWorks was like.
• 58:22
  Eric: I was like they might have meant Pixar Right, like that's often a thing.
• 58:26
  Matt: It was like I thought about blanking out DreamWorks, but I thought exactly that you don't know if they're right or wrong.
• 58:32
  Eric: Yeah that, that that was fucking me up.
• 58:35
  Eric: Those were good and you picked very good reviews to get track.
• 58:39
  Eric: Well, not good enough.
• 58:40
  Eric: Sans the four, sans the bonus one, not not good enough, I guess.
• 58:45
  Matt: All right so far, we are tied, we're tied, All right.
• 58:48
  Matt: So are you ready for your third reviewer, I mean your third movie?
• 58:51
  Matt: I am ready.
• 58:52
  Matt: Okay, this is a long one, so hold on.
• 58:55
  Matt: This has to be one of, if not the worst movie I've ever seen.
• 59:00
  Matt: Never have I came away from a movie feeling so utterly drained.
• 59:05
  Matt: For one thing, it's way too long Now.
• 59:08
  Matt: I've sat through long movies before and loved them Avatar, Titanic, etc.
• 59:13
  Matt: But this it literally feels like I was watching someone's life day by day, in real time, From the time blank was a teen to an adult.
• 59:24
  Matt: The characters were also so annoying.
• 59:26
  Matt: I don't think I've ever seen a movie where just about every character gets on my nerves to the point of it being ridiculous.
• 59:34
  Matt: There were only two characters that I didn't mind.
• 59:37
  Matt: That was, of course, Blank's character.
• 59:40
  Matt: Glad she won an Oscar and Blank's character.
• 59:43
  Matt: Everyone else irked me.
• 59:45
  Matt: This movie also ruined Blank for me.
• 59:49
  Matt: Now, every time I see him, all I'm going to remember is this movie, but I will say that ending line was oh so satisfying.
• 59:57
  Matt: There are also other things in this movie that annoyed me, that are so stupid I won't even mention.
• 1:00:03
  Matt: But wow, I honestly didn't think I was going to finish this thing, but by the grace of my heavenly father I did.
• 1:00:11
  Matt: If I had to say anything good about this film, it's that I loved some of blank stresses.
• 1:00:18
  Matt: The Southern bell dresses are very beautiful and the house at blank was nice too.
• 1:00:23
  Matt: But yeah, this movie was awful to me.
• 1:00:26
  Matt: You couldn't pay me to sit through it again.
• 1:00:29
  Eric: So many takeaways from that, okay.
• 1:00:31
  Eric: So wait, there was a.
• 1:00:32
  Eric: There was a.
• 1:00:32
  Eric: So watching someone from a childhood thing yeah, play there was, uh, two prominent women actors, it sounds like um one of whom got an oscar, and there was just another good one.
• 1:00:46
  Eric: There was Southern bell dresses, okay, okay.
• 1:00:51
  Matt: I'm ready, okay.
• 1:00:53
  Matt: Review number two watching a spoiled child chase a married man who has a kid for almost four hours was draining, to say the least.
• 1:01:03
  Matt: I regained hope that she would come to her senses and admit that she loved blank after all, around the three hourhour mark.
• 1:01:11
  Matt: But that dream was torn apart, spit on and set on fire by minute 205.
• 1:01:17
  Matt: And finally, I might have given it two stars if Blank's last line didn't sound like a 2018 Instagram caption on a heavily filtered selfie.
• 1:01:27
  Matt: This movie is undoubtedly a one star, and I didn't even talk about how slavery was horribly depicted.
• 1:01:34
  Matt: In conclusion, I think people should watch for the experience, but I can't say they will enjoy having seen it.
• 1:01:41
  Matt: What the fuck?
• 1:01:43
  Matt: Okay, okay, go on.
• 1:01:46
  Matt: You need to process.
• 1:01:47
  Matt: You want number?
• 1:01:48
  Eric: three.
• 1:01:48
  Eric: So what I'm getting so far long movie?
• 1:01:50
  Eric: Oh, it's a long one.
• 1:01:52
  Eric: Woman and a child chasing a married man that this person believed they should have ended up with, but those dreams were dashed.
• 1:01:59
  Eric: There's something they keep putting a lot of weight on the final line of the movie.
• 1:02:04
  Matt: Okay, okay, sure do.
• 1:02:06
  Matt: The last last review for you.
• 1:02:08
  Matt: Yeah, one of the longest boring movies I have ever seen, and the ending was the worst.
• 1:02:17
  Matt: The girl couldn't ever make up her mind what she wanted.
• 1:02:19
  Matt: Played by blank who was bipolar, so it was a good fit that's it another problematic but useful review Okay.
• 1:02:31
  Eric: Now.
• 1:02:31
  Matt: I will admit that last one requires you to have some actor knowledge.
• 1:02:36
  Matt: Yeah which is very.
• 1:02:40
  Matt: I'm not selling you short bud.
• 1:02:42
  Matt: I know, I know and I have a bonus review, but I've learned a lesson.
• 1:02:46
  Matt: You're locking in the answer before I give it to you.
• 1:02:48
  Matt: We'll save that one Okay long movie.
• 1:02:54
  Matt: I will say eric.
• 1:02:55
  Matt: This is a famously long movie famously long movie okay I don't think.
• 1:03:03
  Matt: No, I'll wait until after you lock it in to give you the runtime okay I gave you a hint at the runtime in the reviews yeah, yeah, you did fuckers long.
• 1:03:14
  Eric: Okay, I have a guess, and this is a movie I've never actually seen, but I'm gonna guess eric, I'll come clean with you too.
• 1:03:23
  Matt: I have not seen this movie start to finish okay, I believe this is a famously long movie.
• 1:03:30
  Eric: Okay, is the movie gone with the wind?
• 1:03:33
  Eric: Are you locking that in?
• 1:03:35
  Matt: I'm locking that in At three hours and 58 minutes.
• 1:03:39
  Matt: Eric, it's gone with the wind, eric, very good, very good.
• 1:03:47
  Eric: That was a shot in the fucking dark, because I was like all I had to go on was like Southern Belle dresses, long movie and chasing a man, and I think I remember all three of those being elements of the Civil War.
• 1:03:57
  Eric: Oh, very much so.
• 1:03:58
  Matt: They're very, very strong.
• 1:04:00
  Matt: The man that was ruined they're talking about Clark Gable.
• 1:04:04
  Matt: Yeah, the Oscar everyone's happy about was Hattie McDaniel, the first African-American to win an Oscar.
• 1:04:09
  Eric: Everyone's happy about was Hattie McDaniel the first African-American to win an Oscar who.
• 1:04:12
  Eric: If I remember correctly, she wasn't even allowed to attend the premiere, was she?
• 1:04:16
  Matt: Yeah well, the premiere?
• 1:04:19
  Matt: I'm not sure about that, but she did famously have to come in to the Oscars, sadly through the service.
• 1:04:24
  Matt: So fucked up, it's fucked.
• 1:04:26
  Matt: Yeah that's absolutely fucked.
• 1:04:28
  Matt: The bonus review I was going to give you is boo Avengers Endgame should have grossed more than this Gross old people film.
• 1:04:40
  Matt: Oh man, yes, yes.
• 1:04:42
  Matt: And in case you would like a little bit of Hollywood, golden Age, hollywood trivia, vivian Leigh, famously bipolar.
• 1:04:53
  Eric: Yes, and she did not know that.
• 1:04:55
  Matt: She played Scarlett O'Hara.
• 1:04:56
  Matt: That's a lot of the blanks.
• 1:04:58
  Eric: Okay, Main character Now, the last line, of course being I've always relied on no wait, oh my God, I don't you just embarrassed yourself as a theater person.
• 1:05:09
  Eric: That's Blanche DuBois.
• 1:05:11
  Matt: Oh, that is Blanche DuBois, that's streetcar named Desire, who says I've always relied on the kindness of strangers.
• 1:05:18
  Eric: Yeah, that is Now what is the famous last line from Gone with the Wind?
• 1:05:24
  Matt: Well, although not technically the last line, I think what they might be referring to is, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn, Ah.
• 1:05:33
  Matt: But the actual last line is a few lines later and is after all, tomorrow is another day.
• 1:05:42
  Eric: Oh, okay, so that's gone.
• 1:05:43
  Eric: Okay, okay, now I don't even need to see it.
• 1:05:48
  Matt: Well, one might say three hours, and was it 57 minutes, 58 minutes, two minutes shy of four hours.
• 1:05:55
  Matt: Yes, my God, it's a thick boy.
• 1:05:57
  Matt: It's a thick book too.
• 1:05:59
  Eric: That's a dummy thick movie.
• 1:06:00
  Matt: I have the.
• 1:06:01
  Matt: I picked up a very nice rustic copy of it in a in an old bookshop once, but I have yet to crack it on open, but it is very aesthetically pleasing, ooh, but I have yet to crack it on open, but it is very aesthetically pleasing, ooh, yes, yes.
• 1:06:13
  Matt: So Eric, you, you, you, by the skin of my teeth, me the handicapped.
• 1:06:19
  Matt: Ooh, you have to behave yourself, matthew.
• 1:06:22
  Matt: You have to give me good reviews.
• 1:06:24
  Matt: You take the lead at two to one, although I will say yeah.
• 1:06:30
  Eric: You gave me one.
• 1:06:31
  Eric: I gave you one.
• 1:06:32
  Eric: Unintentionally, with unintentionally, you gave me one.
• 1:06:35
  Eric: That's why I say by the skin of my teeth.
• 1:06:38
  Eric: I have a point on you.
• 1:06:39
  Eric: Oh man, eric, yeah, skin of my fucking teeth.
• 1:06:43
  Matt: So next time, oh next time, I'm nervous, I'm nervous, you're, oh, you're gonna hurt me very badly oh, the very badly.
• 1:06:51
  Eric: Oh, the next time I go, sorry, the next time you go, yeah, yeah, you're going to come in guns blazing Well that might have to happen.
• 1:06:57
  Matt: Yes, but I just meant I'm nervous about you giving me reviews now, because I think you've done me a disservice by building me up as this film expert, which I don't consider myself to be.
• 1:07:08
  Matt: I'm a film buff for sure.
• 1:07:10
  Eric: See, that's exactly the kind of thing an expert would say.
• 1:07:12
  Matt: Yeah, I fuck with the Criterion collection, sure, but I am not one of these guys who have seen every goddamn movie under the sun.
• 1:07:22
  Eric: But I know about movies Look if Doom, part 2, has taught me anything, it is that when he denies that he is the Messiah, that is when he makes.
• 1:07:30
  Eric: It is that when he denies that he is the Messiah, that he's a as it is written.
• 1:07:34
  Matt: Oh my God Fucking love Dune.
• 1:07:37
  Matt: I love Dune.
• 1:07:38
  Matt: I do think I'm going to start.
• 1:07:40
  Matt: So, to give you the update, I'm almost done with the the a long Stephen King book I'm reading, and when I'm done with that, I think I'm going to jump back into the Dune scape, which I have been away from for a little bit.
• 1:07:52
  Matt: I'm up to God, emperor of dune, which is book four, and I hear this is where we really go off the rails.
• 1:08:01
  Eric: Yeah, I, I've heard you know, I, I, I said like dune Messiah is apparently where it peaked, and then and then, and then, and then three and four are like not as good, but then it just goes I like three, three children of dune was, was fun, but the end of it is where I'm like oh, I see where this everyone's saying it gets real fucking nuts and um.
• 1:08:27
  Matt: So we'll see.
• 1:08:28
  Matt: We'll see how my dune journey.
• 1:08:29
  Eric: I know how the story goes.
• 1:08:31
  Eric: I will not spoil anything for you, but it is real fucking weird.
• 1:08:34
  Eric: Yeah, I bet I bet.
• 1:08:36
  Matt: So anyway, that's a little, that's our dune, cast in the middle of this.
• 1:08:43
  Eric: We did play that game, we watched we, we did a marathon yesterday.
• 1:08:46
  Eric: We watched dune one, then we watched dune two for the first time um and oh, you didn't watch dune two in theaters?
• 1:08:52
  Matt: no, didn't you see it?
• 1:08:54
  Eric: but our our friend, our friend was hanging out with us, our friend bash, who's beloved, and he, he was loving it because he had, like between me, pat and reed, like three goddamn like dune aficionados in the room, so like every time he wanted something.
• 1:09:09
  Eric: Every time we had a drinking game.
• 1:09:10
  Eric: Every time you saw the worm drink.
• 1:09:12
  Eric: Every time they do the oh, my God, you're going to be sloshed.
• 1:09:17
  Eric: Oh, oh, yeah, it was, it was great.
• 1:09:19
  Eric: And then we had, every time we had to explain something to bash it was, and like, not in a, in a, but every time, cause it wasn't like he would, I was like, oh, I don't understand, we would just go.
• 1:09:30
  Eric: Oh, you know they don't show this in the movie, but you should know the reason that this is like this is good and he'd be like drink.
• 1:09:36
  Eric: Oh, yeah, anytime anytime a man dune spleens to you to drink, yes, yes, anytime.
• 1:09:45
  Matt: A man d and there was two other people, another couple coming out with us and the guy was just literally mansplaining this movie to his girlfriend and I just like leaned over to Lindsay and I was like would you like me to provide you some of this context?
• 1:10:02
  Matt: And she was like no, I got it.
• 1:10:02
  Matt: I watched the movie, I understand it.
• 1:10:05
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:10:07
  Eric: I got it.
• 1:10:09
  Matt: I don't need this service.
• 1:10:10
  Matt: Yeah, I do believe I did do just a sprinkling of dunesplaining, but um, yeah, you know, I mean it's dune.
• 1:10:19
  Matt: Some explanation is necessary some.
• 1:10:22
  Eric: Some explanation is necessary.
• 1:10:23
  Eric: I after reading dude, I I was wick, I was wikipedia, shit, while I was reading the book, you need a, you need a companion guide to read.
• 1:10:32
  Eric: Dune, if your book didn't come with, like the index of terms at the back, you're fucked.
• 1:10:37
  Matt: Yeah, mine doesn't, and so what I have found is it is one of the only books that I have read that I'll read like several pages and then go wait.
• 1:10:46
  Matt: What the fuck?
• 1:10:47
  Eric: And just back up to the beginning of the chapter.
• 1:10:49
  Eric: I thought this was something else, for like two chapters now Like what the fuck?
• 1:10:51
  Eric: And just back up to the beginning of something else for like two chapters.
• 1:10:53
  Matt: Like what the fuck are we talking about now?
• 1:10:54
  Matt: What the he's a worm.
• 1:10:56
  Eric: Now what the how did he become?
• 1:11:02
  Matt: just the spice, did it?
• 1:11:03
  Matt: Okay, great.
• 1:11:03
  Matt: So, anyway, mild spoiler for book three of Dune.
• 1:11:09
  Matt: I suppose, eric, should we end the episode?
• 1:11:12
  Matt: We should, great.
• 1:11:14
  Matt: So we do need your questions, folks.
• 1:11:17
  Matt: Please send them to us at youdidntaskforthis at gmailcom.
• 1:11:20
  Matt: That's all spelled out.
• 1:11:21
  Matt: We'll find us on social the medias, at the social the medias is what I said At youdidntaskpod.
• 1:11:29
  Matt: That's the letter.
• 1:11:29
  Matt: Youdidntaskpod, instagram, twitter, facebook.
• 1:11:30
  Matt: What I said At you didn't ask pod, that's the letter.
• 1:11:30
  Matt: You didn't ask pod.
• 1:11:31
  Matt: Instagram, twitter, facebook.
• 1:11:32
  Matt: What have you?
• 1:11:33
  Matt: We'll see them, We'll jot them down in our spreadsheet and then we'll say them back to you.
• 1:11:38
  Matt: Eric, anything to add?
• 1:11:41
  Eric: We mentioned the thought line earlier.
• 1:11:43
  Matt: We did 410-929-5329.
• 1:11:46
  Matt: Leave us a voicemail.
• 1:11:47
  Matt: You don't have to talk to us, you'll just hear me do some babble.
• 1:11:50
  Matt: I don't even remember what I said.
• 1:11:51
  Eric: Yeah, and and and reminder.
• 1:11:53
  Eric: Yeah, you will not have to talk to a human being.
• 1:11:56
  Eric: You can, just no we wouldn't do that to you, and you can talk about anything you want.
• 1:12:00
  Eric: Tell us about your day.
• 1:12:02
  Matt: Tell us give about.
• 1:12:12
  Eric: We've done very well with like societal norm questions.
• 1:12:13
  Eric: Give us some of those, some social etiquettes, yes, um, for your glitches in the matrix.
• 1:12:16
  Eric: No, well, tell us.
• 1:12:17
  Eric: We just did that, I know.
• 1:12:18
  Eric: But, like, tell us if you've seen weird shit, if you've met alien encounters, if you just like have encountered something really fucking cool that you want to talk about but you don't know where it's appropriate to do so call us if you, If you've got a local legend which doesn't need to be a cryptid necessarily, or something like that.
• 1:12:36
  Matt: Just be, a legendary bartender.
• 1:12:39
  Matt: You know somebody that the world should know about.
• 1:12:41
  Matt: We'll give them a platform, and by give them a platform I mean talk about them and then maybe, if they're cool enough, we will have them as a guest on the show, which is the case with previous guest of the show, lewis Millard, who, based in Canada, I assume will help me out with the goose problem.
• 1:13:00
  Eric: And who's just like also become our friend, and it's really nice.
• 1:13:03
  Matt: Lewis, shout out to you, lewis, I miss you.
• 1:13:05
  Matt: Buddy, cool guy.
• 1:13:07
  Eric: We need to get Lewis back.
• 1:13:08
  Eric: We need to check in with lewis.
• 1:13:09
  Matt: We need to have a check-in with lewis I miss him dearly and we are in the run-up to episode 100, so we'd love to sprinkle in some segments we haven't done in a while, such as neighborhood watch, where we read your neighborhood group drama doesn't even have to be yours, it can be somebody else's.
• 1:13:25
  Matt: We'll take out names.
• 1:13:27
  Matt: We'll take out street names, neighborhood neighborhood names.
• 1:13:29
  Matt: We'll make it anonymous.
• 1:13:30
  Matt: We just want the tea.
• 1:13:32
  Eric: Yeah, God put the kettle on.
• 1:13:35
  Matt: Put the kettle on and let us pull up a chair.
• 1:13:38
  Eric: Mm-hmm.
• 1:13:39
  Matt: All right, and then yeah.
• 1:13:40
  Matt: So basically what we're saying is give us some content, please.
• 1:13:44
  Eric: Yes, please God, because if you don't, then we need to do it.
• 1:13:47
  Eric: And who?
• 1:13:48
  Matt: has the time.
• 1:13:49
  Eric: Who has the time?
• 1:13:51
  Matt: And with that, eric, I think I speak for all of us when I say that'll about do it.
• 1:13:55
  Matt: That'll about do it For this episode of you Didn't Ask For this for all of us here.
• 1:14:00
  Matt: My name is Matthew Shea.
• 1:14:02
  Eric: My name is Eric.
• 1:14:03
  Matt: Poach and listen.
• 1:14:04
  Matt: You didn't ask.
• 1:14:06
  Eric: But, ladies, ladies, if you ever got someone doonsplaining to you, here's a fun deterrent we came up with, or just a fun way to irritate them.
• 1:14:17
  Eric: A listen to them rant, but then, at just regular intervals throughout the entire movie, just turn to them and ask so, they want the spice?
• 1:14:31
  Eric: Just say that like 10 to wait.
• 1:14:38
  Eric: So do they want the spice, though?
• 1:14:40
  Eric: Yeah, no, they they.
• 1:14:42
  Eric: They want the spice.
• 1:14:43
  Eric: Yeah, that's a good way to, that's a just just keep every time angry anger a dunesplainer and when they go to begin to explain something, wait like for whoa, pump the brakes.
• 1:14:54
  Matt: But so they want the spice yeah, and you know, eric, um, not to dunesplain too much to you, a fellow dunesplainer, but I I just want you to know that, um, and our listeners to know, that one of the best ways to defeat a worm that they actually cut from Dune II, as I'm sure you know, is to expose the worms to Daddy Longlegs.
• 1:15:18
  Matt: Daddy Longlegs, daddy Longlegs are going to come out and get that worm, as it was written, you see.
• 1:15:27
  Eric: Oh, paul Atreides, with his terrible papers, called me Daddy Long Legs.
• 1:15:35
  Matt: Long Daddy and that young boy deep down there.
• 1:15:38
  Matt: Oh why?
• 1:15:39
  Matt: Hello there, my good prophet.
• 1:15:44
  Eric: Long Daddy, long Daddy, long Daddy, long daddy, long Daddy, long Daddy.