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WILLLIIIIIIIAAAAAAMMMMMM!!! | Underworld: Evolution · Potato Chip Pictures - A Podcast

• 0:00
  I got to tell you, man, I don't. I'm starting to think I don't
• 0:05
  like this franchise. Like at all or this one in
• 0:10
  specific? Well, the the previous two I
• 0:16
  guess. Hold on like 2.
• 0:20
  Well, this one and the last one, 'cause I gave the last one a
• 0:24
  four, I was like, it's OK and I don't want to say what I'm
• 0:27
  coming. In with but.
• 0:29
  But I do want to say that like I'm I'm questioning if I'm just
• 0:36
  like I did I ever even like this franchise?
• 0:40
  Like what happened? I think it has some points of
• 0:48
  earnest effort, like making all of these sets and stuff happen.
• 0:54
  And practically I think that pays off in it feeling like as
• 1:00
  real a world as Lord of the Rings.
• 1:02
  Like there's an actual werewolf hanging up there in their first
• 1:07
  little interrogation place. And then I think at the end,
• 1:12
  William is like in a costume, but like, he's there.
• 1:18
  It's it's interesting. That's true.
• 1:20
  They've they've got practical effects in a lot of places and I
• 1:25
  can definitely give them that. And you know, some of those
• 1:29
  practical designs are very good. But all right, well then fine,
• 1:34
  I'll do the whole episode. You've talked me into it.
• 1:37
  We're not going to do it. It's so bad.
• 1:42
  I mean, we haven't, we haven't skipped an entire movie and
• 1:47
  there may have been one or two James Bonds that would have been
• 1:50
  skip worthy. Yes, yeah.
• 1:53
  So if we didn't skip any bonds, we're not going to skip any
• 1:56
  underworlds. We so far as far as we know.
• 2:10
  Hello and welcome to Potato Chip Pictures, the movie franchise
• 2:16
  review podcast. Currently looking at the
• 2:19
  Underworld franchise. My name is B Sammy Davis.
• 2:23
  Hello, welcome again. My name is Justin.
• 2:26
  And today we are looking at the second movie in the Underworld
• 2:30
  franchise, 2006's Underworld Evolution.
• 2:36
  I'll go through the quick stats and then we can kind of give our
• 2:39
  10,000 foot view, but really fast.
• 2:43
  Same writer, director team. We've still got Lynn Wiseman
• 2:47
  directing, Danny McBride writing.
• 2:51
  This time there's more than double the budget.
• 2:53
  Last time it was 22 million, they're at 45,000,000.
• 2:58
  Last time they returned nearly 98,000,000.
• 3:01
  This time they returned 113.4 million, so it is more.
• 3:08
  More, yeah, the net might be a little bit shorter, but.
• 3:13
  Yeah. I mean, it's only 18,000,000
• 3:15
  more and it cost them $23 million to get that.
• 3:19
  Yeah, yes, it's it's always a surprise when you say those
• 3:25
  because I think in Austin Powers it was like, oh, that made a ton
• 3:30
  of money. Well, this one, they made money.
• 3:34
  Well, then go like going all the way back to James Bond.
• 3:38
  I think it was Skyfall that made a billion dollars.
• 3:44
  Like. One of them just made a
• 3:46
  ludicrous amount of money and it was like, wow.
• 3:50
  So yeah, like it. It is interesting to see these
• 3:54
  movies that are making hundreds of millions of dollars and then
• 3:58
  coming to these movies in particular that I remember being
• 4:03
  so important to culture and yet they didn't make a lot of movie
• 4:09
  in the theaters. Like I think the first one of
• 4:12
  these was these more on my radar.
• 4:16
  I don't recall the second one catching my attention when it
• 4:20
  came out. And I think, I think I mostly
• 4:23
  remember it's from flipping through television and it one of
• 4:29
  these movies would be on television.
• 4:32
  So they got a lot of money out of syndication.
• 4:35
  I can imagine they got a lot of money out of the DVD and later
• 4:39
  Blu-ray markets. They got money out of me for the
• 4:42
  Blu-ray market. So, but, you know, looking at
• 4:48
  the the big picture, this was not the success that they were
• 4:54
  hoping it would be. Like they clearly put a lot of
• 4:57
  money and a lot of effort into it.
• 5:00
  And at least in the theaters, it didn't make as big a splash as
• 5:07
  the last one did, because the last one was kind of a a
• 5:10
  surprise hit, you know? Yeah, I think they're they still
• 5:17
  put a lot of Kate Beckinsale in it and I think that's their main
• 5:20
  factor. I do like that they brought
• 5:22
  back, I think most of the actors that needed to be in both
• 5:27
  movies. It's like, oh, we still need
• 5:30
  Bill Nighy, but he's not quite as around as much and we'll get
• 5:35
  to it. The history history moments
• 5:39
  being a little just a touch below believable, like it just
• 5:46
  feels like watching a a stage play with monsters and it's oh,
• 5:51
  it's not bad, but it's. No, I can see that.
• 5:55
  I can see that for sure. But I I do want to comment on
• 5:58
  the fact that I think everybody, including Amelia, who was only
• 6:03
  in one scene. That has.
• 6:06
  Returned. Yeah.
• 6:07
  Like, yeah, Amelia was only in the train and was murdered.
• 6:13
  And yet she is back for at least the intro.
• 6:17
  And I I didn't look it up, but I'm pretty sure it's the same
• 6:19
  actress. It was hard to tell.
• 6:22
  The wiki says that it looks like she was in both of them so they
• 6:26
  got the same actress. I was curious because initially
• 6:31
  it just feels like Victor. His actor has been old for a
• 6:35
  long time, so they made him look younger.
• 6:38
  And I was curious if it was like, is this a a relative, a
• 6:43
  son that is playing him because it had the same voice and
• 6:47
  everything. But it, it looked a little
• 6:51
  suspect because I was like, would it be him?
• 6:54
  I guess when did this come out in like 3 years later And I
• 6:57
  guess it yeah, it was only put some makeup on, put some filters
• 7:01
  on and he looks like a younger vampire, which it also works in
• 7:06
  their favour. Nobody ever gets old, so if you
• 7:08
  shoot a bunch of vampire movies close together and they can be
• 7:11
  whenever. Yeah, as long as they they put
• 7:14
  them together. Oh my gosh, and that that also
• 7:17
  just you blew my mind, but then I UN blew it.
• 7:22
  Sorry. We'll get to everything about
• 7:23
  this movie. This So for me, the hang up that
• 7:29
  I have and we're going to hear it a lot because like I try to
• 7:32
  put pieces together, but it's the lore, the lore in this
• 7:36
  movie. Half of it just kind of ignores
• 7:40
  what happened in the last movie. The other half is like and it's
• 7:44
  even bigger. Yeah.
• 7:47
  Yeah, there's new ideas, there's there's new thoughts.
• 7:51
  We're meeting characters who were mentioned in the last movie
• 7:55
  and now they're real in this movie.
• 7:59
  And then the other big hang up that I have is that it still
• 8:02
  feels like they're trying to do the Matrix, like they are doing
• 8:08
  more of their own thing, but then they bring their own
• 8:13
  version of the engineer in to give us all the exposition.
• 8:17
  That we had. He's almost the same actor.
• 8:21
  Yeah, like when I saw him, I had to look him up because I was
• 8:24
  like, this guy looks so similar to the dude from Matrix
• 8:28
  Reloaded. Yeah, yeah, I I think that's a
• 8:34
  good point of, of opinion, because the war I I'll say that
• 8:45
  I enjoy that it's not necessarily exactly like a
• 8:49
  vampire story, I don't think usually Dracula is the origin of
• 8:56
  vampires. And it's like, oh, this
• 8:58
  Alexander dude, I've never heard this sort of history or that,
• 9:04
  you know, it's like a family tree.
• 9:06
  I I was kind of like, oh, Marcus or Victor's like, oh, if you
• 9:12
  die, all the rest of us die. Like that seems like an
• 9:17
  introduction for for some motivated reasoning of the plot.
• 9:21
  Like it has to be this way. Yeah.
• 9:26
  But then on top of that, I, I immediately have to point out
• 9:30
  that the guy who is the father of all vampires is third in line
• 9:37
  in the top three vampires. And and then the other thing
• 9:44
  that really irks me in the lore, and I'm going to bring it up
• 9:47
  now, is late in the movie, they introduced the concept that the
• 9:53
  age of an immortal represents their power.
• 9:58
  And therefore why would William? Is it William?
• 10:04
  Who is the vampire? OK, so who's his brother?
• 10:07
  Mike? Marcus.
• 10:08
  Marcus. Why would Marcus, who is older
• 10:12
  and therefore stronger than either Victor or Amelia, be
• 10:17
  subservient to them? Like the movie's own logic
• 10:22
  doesn't fit. And so, OK, let's get into it.
• 10:27
  Let's talk about this movie. Let's stop.
• 10:29
  Let's let's go. I mean, if you want to have an
• 10:34
  overarching sense of lore, it. I feel like it's like most
• 10:40
  sequel movies that may have came without, say, an overarching
• 10:47
  idea. Like, let's see, great original
• 10:52
  idea. Then the sequels are kind of
• 10:55
  like, well, what do we do now? We have to do a story that
• 10:59
  connects something. So I think it just gets not
• 11:07
  lazy. I want to say it gets freer with
• 11:09
  its desire to make something happen based on some plot point
• 11:15
  that we can we can point to it and extrapolate from there.
• 11:21
  Because yeah, I think there's like the new guy, he can't even
• 11:25
  die. Like he dies and then he comes
• 11:29
  back hours later. It's like.
• 11:32
  Which frankly, every one of them should be capable of the same
• 11:37
  thing. But that's because we're not
• 11:38
  like real vampires and lichens. We're, you know, this universe's
• 11:44
  version which also has immortals within that classification, and
• 11:51
  yet those ones can permanently die.
• 11:53
  I. So to, to initially bring the
• 12:00
  the good parts forward and sandwich the bad parts in
• 12:03
  between it, I like in the first act that we get a bit more
• 12:08
  personality from our our stars. Like, yes, they get a talk and
• 12:13
  it's more than 15 minutes and it's more than a sentence each.
• 12:16
  Yeah, and they're not hiding things from each other.
• 12:20
  It it feels like they are characters in a book finally,
• 12:25
  like this person has she's a death dealer.
• 12:33
  Sure, in the first movie, but it's just kind of a she kills
• 12:38
  that werewolves that makes her a death dealer.
• 12:40
  OK, now it's like, oh, we kind of have to, we have a, we have a
• 12:46
  reason to be running. We have a reason to be looking
• 12:49
  for something. And yes, we're hiding from a big
• 12:54
  bad. Like, OK, we have we can check
• 12:57
  the list off. Everything is there.
• 12:59
  So when we start the movie, we can we can see how the
• 13:04
  characters are reacting to the world instead of like, oh, we
• 13:09
  need to know Lucian exists. Oh, we need to know Victor is
• 13:14
  something or the awakening is coming.
• 13:16
  It's like, well, we know what's happening right now.
• 13:19
  Yeah, get to it. I, I'll agree with you there.
• 13:22
  I do like that we are jumping right into the universe that we
• 13:26
  left three years ago. And you know, I'm going to push
• 13:31
  back on something you said a few minutes ago and I'm going to say
• 13:34
  I did really like the very beginning with, first of all, a
• 13:41
  no narration crawl. I know a lot of people hate text
• 13:46
  based things, but I'm a sucker for Star Wars.
• 13:49
  I'm a sucker for Final Fantasy. Like, give me an opening crawl
• 13:54
  any day, and as long as it's good, you're going to set the
• 13:58
  tone for me in a really big way. And this movie did that and then
• 14:02
  immediately went into this fantasy style, but still dark
• 14:07
  and gothic medieval. I guess we're 800 years.
• 14:13
  It's real fuzzy to me. I don't know.
• 14:15
  Yeah, they, they, they toss a lot of numbers around.
• 14:19
  I think 800 years ago is when the immortals were born and I
• 14:24
  think we're at 6 or 400 years ago when William is captured.
• 14:30
  But for this like very opening scene, the vampires are
• 14:35
  established, where is the lichen are still monsters.
• 14:40
  Like they don't they haven't established the ability to take
• 14:44
  human form. We don't, we still don't know
• 14:47
  that lore, like we don't know how that happened, but at least
• 14:52
  we see how this world existed hundreds of years ago.
• 14:58
  And so I'm able to better accept how the world will be when we
• 15:05
  get to 2003 and 6. It's funny.
• 15:11
  Movie opens in the year 12 O 2 and 800 years later is 2002.
• 15:17
  Yeah, yeah. Nice round numbers.
• 15:21
  Yep, nice and easy. They don't.
• 15:24
  They don't want to do any math. So to to bring up the bad parts
• 15:29
  of the first act, it's that historical era has just kind of
• 15:38
  bad, I don't know, forced they have like William is and
• 15:45
  apparently will always be just a wolf, but we capture miss wolf.
• 15:51
  Sure, the effects are are realistic, practical, but it's
• 15:55
  just. Like there are some glaringly
• 15:59
  bad CG moments in there. But the reasoning for Marcus not
• 16:05
  being number one, oldest, most powerful doesn't really ever get
• 16:11
  addressed. It just exists.
• 16:14
  He's. Just yelled at from the very
• 16:16
  beginning of the movie. And maybe that's to make him a
• 16:19
  sympathetic character. And I will confess that I found
• 16:22
  Marcus to be a pretty fascinating character.
• 16:26
  I found I've already forgotten his name.
• 16:29
  The werewolf king from the previous movie, I found him to
• 16:35
  be. Yeah, Lucian.
• 16:36
  I liked him as a character. And now I'm liking this villain
• 16:41
  as a character. But unlike the last movie, this
• 16:45
  one is genuinely just a villain. And like, I'm supposed to just
• 16:52
  believe he's bad and he's evil and he's going to.
• 16:55
  I don't know what he's going to do.
• 16:58
  We're going to trap your brother for apparently 800 years and you
• 17:02
  just got to be chill with that? That doesn't sound like a good
• 17:08
  reason for him to be a villain. He wants to set his brother free
• 17:13
  that I mean, yes, he's a werewolf, but we do see that he
• 17:19
  kind of listens to Marcus. It's like, it's not like he's a
• 17:22
  mindless monster, but you know, that's just they said to make it
• 17:27
  do it. Yep, he produces mindless
• 17:31
  monsters and that's the reason. But I I don't know, it's it's a
• 17:36
  thin plot, but it had me hooked at the beginning because I was
• 17:40
  like, all right, well, this, this is Marcus.
• 17:42
  We get to see him in his human form right away.
• 17:46
  We get to see that he's the bullied one.
• 17:49
  I kind of had it in my head that he was going to be the big boss
• 17:52
  of all of them, but maybe I was reading into that on on my own
• 17:58
  and this movie set me straight. Maybe interesting if he were
• 18:02
  because he was the next one to be awake and Victor seemed
• 18:07
  powerful and cool in the first one even though he's the
• 18:10
  villain. It's like, well Marcus comes out
• 18:13
  as a hybrid because of the blood stuff and just immediately lays
• 18:18
  waste to all the other vampires there.
• 18:21
  I don't love that. Yes, he's a hybrid.
• 18:24
  Because you know, he could have. I'm glad you explained it to me
• 18:29
  because I was so angry at the movie and I'm still mad that
• 18:36
  that it's Celine who announces to the audience that, well, I
• 18:41
  guess it's both Celine and Michael who are like, he's a
• 18:44
  hybrid. Yeah, he's a hybrid.
• 18:46
  Because when I heard them saying and I was like, has he always
• 18:49
  been a hybrid? But you reminding me that he
• 18:53
  literally drank werewolf blood, that's why he gets this monster
• 18:57
  form. But I don't know why his monster
• 19:00
  form is like pure vampire. Whereas yeah, Michael gets this.
• 19:05
  Like where? Demon Cat.
• 19:08
  Thing. Yeah, like.
• 19:10
  Yeah, he's a bat. He's a cat.
• 19:12
  Who knows? This movie just does whatever it
• 19:16
  wants and you just got to deal with it.
• 19:18
  And when I'm able to just deal with it, I I can sit back and
• 19:22
  have a good time. So I'll give it that as well.
• 19:25
  Sure, sure. But I got to, I got to say, even
• 19:30
  though like I'm not a big fan of the, I am a fan of the
• 19:35
  historical one. They immediately then go into a
• 19:38
  narrated opening for the modern day where they're like, we're
• 19:43
  being hunted. We did this.
• 19:45
  This is what happened in the last movie.
• 19:46
  Here's our previously on and I'm oh I got so mad.
• 19:53
  But it's been three years for those people in the movie.
• 19:56
  But why does she always have to tell me about the world that
• 20:00
  we're in? Like, why can't we just watch
• 20:03
  Celine exist? Why does she have to tell me
• 20:05
  about the world? They they're just setting up
• 20:10
  Lord of the Rings too to do it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly.
• 20:15
  So it's fine, whatever. But I got to say another thing
• 20:21
  that really bugs me is Michael again.
• 20:24
  And the first act is where he makes me angriest.
• 20:30
  When they go to the shelter and they find the dead werewolf and
• 20:34
  she turns the lights on and and he's still wigging out man like.
• 20:40
  You are one of them. I'm freaking out here right?
• 20:44
  I'm mid transformation because I saw a corpse in front of me.
• 20:50
  It's to remind you that he is a hybrid, sure.
• 20:53
  Yeah, I'm sure that's it. They want to, they want to tease
• 20:57
  early on that he's got powers, but.
• 20:59
  He's not just a dude. Exactly.
• 21:02
  Like in the first movie. I, I just hate it so much that
• 21:09
  that's the way they tell us because it's, it's so
• 21:13
  melodramatic. And then almost immediately
• 21:16
  after she's like, hey, you're undead now drink some blood.
• 21:22
  Because if you don't, you're going to die or you're going to
• 21:26
  kill someone. And then you're going to feel
• 21:28
  really bad about it because you've still got a lot of your
• 21:30
  human self within you. She doesn't say all those words.
• 21:35
  She she narrows it down a lot. He then is like, Nah, then I can
• 21:40
  do that. And goes to eat food.
• 21:43
  Disgusting man. Yeah, like I and I get it.
• 21:49
  This is one of those things you almost always have to have in a
• 21:54
  romantic vampire movie. And I mean that only in the
• 21:57
  sense of, like you, the the vampires are the good guys, not
• 22:02
  the monsters. Sure.
• 22:05
  You always need to have the good guy not want to drink blood but
• 22:09
  then learn that he is cursed and in usual vampire lore the food
• 22:14
  will turn to ash as soon as it touches your tongue.
• 22:18
  Like. You there is no way to eat
• 22:21
  actual food or drink. It must be blood.
• 22:25
  The only way to sustain yourself and in this one they're like,
• 22:29
  you can eat it, it's just going to like start poisoning you and
• 22:33
  force a transformation I guess. Yeah, that's a, that's a lower
• 22:37
  piece that is there to explain the scene just.
• 22:42
  For one scene. Himself and gets chased by, I
• 22:49
  don't even know what country they're in, some sort of police
• 22:52
  force in whatever country this is.
• 22:56
  Some Eastern European country. Yeah.
• 22:59
  I'm like, were we in your Eastern European country in the
• 23:03
  first movie? This takes place literally the
• 23:05
  second day, Yeah. Like I genuinely thought we were
• 23:10
  in like a New York or something like that and.
• 23:13
  Right. No, we I guess we were deep in
• 23:17
  the Eastern Bloc. We hightail it to some wooded
• 23:20
  hills and now we can pursue each other into places that are
• 23:27
  ancient ruins. Like I think because it happened
• 23:31
  so soon after the first movie they they can't just get them
• 23:36
  somewhere else. I feel like maybe it would be
• 23:39
  easier to take the Mission Impossible route and be like, we
• 23:42
  are in this place now. Like OK, like.
• 23:46
  You're you got rich, you've been alive for hundreds of years.
• 23:50
  You've got access to things like travel where you want and how
• 23:55
  you want, but whatever they're they're going underground.
• 24:02
  The the bar fight. I'm not a big fan of Marcus
• 24:05
  showing up. I'm not a big fan of I don't
• 24:08
  even like it when Marcus kills, what's his name Craven in this
• 24:15
  movie. I'm like, he just shows up in
• 24:18
  this bat form, apparently because he drank werewolf blood.
• 24:25
  Makes me so mad. I think the, the, what do you
• 24:33
  call it, the gore and the blood is maybe a little bit more than
• 24:37
  previously. The there were some like losses
• 24:42
  of, of face parts and went on the first one.
• 24:45
  And this one kind of only reserves that for the big bad
• 24:49
  people. So Craven gets like half
• 24:52
  beheaded. And yeah, William, I think it's
• 24:54
  torn open and it's. Another half beheaded.
• 24:58
  Yeah. So yeah, go with the same Marcus
• 25:04
  getting shot at the same time that they need to hideaway
• 25:09
  because the sun came up is all convenient that both both of the
• 25:14
  vampires slash hybrids all get a a a rest to heal and then
• 25:20
  they're they're a long rest. This, that's the other thing
• 25:24
  that bugs me about this movie. So much of it looks like a video
• 25:27
  game cutscene. And in particular when they're
• 25:33
  in the truck and she's shooting at Marcus, it's right before
• 25:36
  daytime. It looks like House of the Dead,
• 25:41
  like he's just flying along the front and you're supposed to sit
• 25:44
  in the truck and shoot in your on rails shooter.
• 25:49
  And I that every time something looked like a video game, I got
• 25:55
  annoyed by it. I was just like, come on.
• 25:58
  Well, that's a lot of that's a lot of it.
• 26:01
  It really is a lot of it. But you're right, they get their
• 26:05
  long rest. And I will be honest, I'm
• 26:10
  starting to, you know, at least recognize that they've they've
• 26:14
  got some much better presentation.
• 26:19
  Like in these quieter moments, I can actually see everybody.
• 26:24
  I can hear everybody. As you pointed out, they're
• 26:27
  having real conversations instead of just trying to be
• 26:31
  dark and brooding the whole time.
• 26:34
  Yeah, yeah. So I mean that's the that's a
• 26:37
  good part of the first act. I think it it it's mostly
• 26:45
  balanced, maybe tipping towards unfavorable review at this
• 26:50
  point. Yeah, it I mean, it's had a
• 26:54
  couple of cool moments, but you know, the first act there's
• 26:59
  we're not really touching on all of the plot details This time
• 27:02
  we're talking we're talking more about the overarching things
• 27:06
  that we felt and thought about. And this one, they, they front
• 27:12
  load you with a lot of lore and a lot of action, but I'm only
• 27:21
  kind of on board for most of it. So I, I do think they're kind of
• 27:29
  lucky that they ended as strong as they did with the first act,
• 27:33
  you know, going into our second act of learning the mystery and
• 27:37
  everything that that unfolds. We get a whole new group of
• 27:41
  people that to wonder about. And frankly, they're so much
• 27:48
  more interesting to me than everyone else.
• 27:51
  So I am paying attention again like.
• 27:54
  I when they showed up, I did think to myself of like humans
• 27:59
  in the Terminator series, at least the early bits where it
• 28:02
  feels like they're just pockets of remaining humans and they
• 28:06
  somehow managed to get around. So this I couldn't really tell
• 28:11
  if they were vampires or anything.
• 28:15
  They just were people that I can't even remember what I
• 28:20
  wanted to compare them to because it was I felt like a
• 28:22
  special forces that just zips in, zips out, is watching
• 28:26
  everything but can't really take on the other threats.
• 28:31
  I, I got the same impression, like they are trying not to be
• 28:35
  seen by vampires or lichens. And they explained to us later
• 28:39
  on in the movie that that's exactly what they have been
• 28:42
  doing. They, they show up after the
• 28:44
  fact to clean up things and silence any witnesses that we
• 28:50
  find out that they rarely kill those witnesses.
• 28:55
  They just convince them with, you know, passion, discourse.
• 29:01
  Sure, yeah. But they, they are interesting.
• 29:07
  And we start to meet their boss. This engineer type character, an
• 29:13
  old man with white hair. I couldn't figure out what his
• 29:19
  like, he had bodies. I had to.
• 29:23
  I had to figure out later on that, oh, those bodies were from
• 29:27
  the fight. I don't feel like I understood
• 29:30
  that they came from the first movie, because then he's digging
• 29:34
  inside A1 and it's like, what is he looking for?
• 29:38
  It's a vampire body, I guess. And he finds something that's.
• 29:42
  Oh, OK. OK I have been so annoyed by so
• 29:47
  much of the lore before this but for some reason this character
• 29:51
  and his mysterious ways don't bother me one bit.
• 29:55
  Like, I'm watching him open all these bags and we're seeing the
• 29:59
  corpses from the last movie. And I'm like, OK, like, that
• 30:03
  cool. We're getting reminders of what
• 30:06
  happened in the last movie again.
• 30:08
  But then you point out he starts digging into Victor and rips
• 30:13
  open his chest to find a a big metal object.
• 30:17
  And and I was just like, whoa, what?
• 30:19
  That's so crazy. Like.
• 30:22
  And it didn't even cross my mind.
• 30:24
  How would he have possibly like known about this key that barely
• 30:30
  anyone knew about? We don't even know what's the
• 30:33
  key. Yeah, like he just knows
• 30:37
  everything. He's he's just got all the
• 30:39
  information in the world. Yeah.
• 30:42
  But I again, I'm a sucker for a mystery, and so this character
• 30:48
  is all sorts of mysterious. His organization is mysterious,
• 30:52
  like I'm paying attention again so.
• 30:56
  Yeah, I think that was the only thing in the second act that
• 31:01
  actually happens, right? No, there's lots.
• 31:04
  Yeah, I was gonna say there we we go all over the place.
• 31:06
  We have more fights, more boss fights, but it's a long time
• 31:13
  before we we meet or we have our characters meet the white haired
• 31:21
  man. Do you want to know what our
• 31:24
  characters do? I'm trying to think of if the
• 31:28
  historian is in the second act or not because.
• 31:31
  Yeah, I would say he's in the second act because this is where
• 31:34
  we're going to meet him personally.
• 31:37
  Well, so I said in my initial set of comments that this movie
• 31:42
  went the, the route of Matrix Reloaded in the way that
• 31:47
  acquiring their, I assume R rating was more blood and guts
• 31:53
  and more sex than any James Bond ever showed us.
• 31:57
  I'm like, oh, this is, this is more than even the James Bond
• 32:03
  that we went through. OK, It's I I think in terms of
• 32:08
  their the setup of their romance so far, like sure, pay it off
• 32:15
  with a moment where they're they're safe and healing.
• 32:19
  And we I kind of chuckled that she has a zippered corset but
• 32:26
  isn't I'd like don't those lace up?
• 32:31
  Just not in the. Early, not in here.
• 32:33
  OK, I was. Like, all right, well, that that
• 32:39
  happens and she starts getting memories of the key of the stuff
• 32:47
  that the guy found, but. I her memories, I don't know why
• 32:51
  if they're ever explained, but she certainly has a lot of them
• 32:56
  for no reason at all. Like just, oh, this stuff I
• 33:02
  remembered which that's that's a little hand WAVY for me.
• 33:06
  Like Marcus is finding that information by the blood stuff.
• 33:11
  You know where Victor got the blood information from?
• 33:15
  From her. And I, I'm OK with that.
• 33:19
  I. Do think I'm angry about one
• 33:20
  thing. Yeah, go.
• 33:22
  Ahead, my one thing is his perfect recollection to Victor's
• 33:28
  vague memories. It was all disorganized but now
• 33:33
  I can bite anyone and it makes. Sense but you know, otherwise
• 33:39
  he's able to solve his mystery just by drinking anyone's blood.
• 33:44
  I I have to bring up two things about drinking blood because
• 33:49
  we're going to get to it pretty quickly.
• 33:51
  The first thing is, it's super weird that vampires have sex by
• 33:58
  drinking each other's blood. But the second one I didn't.
• 34:03
  I can't. Well that they also did it in
• 34:05
  the first one, when even was having sex with someone they
• 34:10
  would drink each other's blood. That was odd.
• 34:14
  And then second, the fact that you can kill a vampire by
• 34:19
  drinking their blood despite the fact that our elders are put to
• 34:23
  sleep by draining all of their blood.
• 34:26
  Like Oh my gosh, this movie can't keep its lore straight.
• 34:31
  Yeah, I think that's that is a common setup problem from first
• 34:38
  movies. They've they're like, well, we
• 34:42
  already did that. Let's just speed it up.
• 34:44
  Let's just speed it up. We got to get it, get it moving.
• 34:47
  Well, to to speed up the plot, essentially.
• 34:52
  Well, I don't mean us, I mean them in the when they were
• 34:55
  making it. But second act is oh Marcus
• 35:01
  wants William out, this key goes to him.
• 35:03
  We need to know where to go and they find someone that can tell
• 35:07
  him where to go, and apparently that's only miles away from
• 35:12
  here. She's been going there the whole
• 35:16
  time. I OK, I have a lot of mixed
• 35:21
  feelings about this area. There are a few things I
• 35:26
  absolutely hate, but as far as lore dumps go in this movie, I
• 35:33
  think the historian the the this person we're about to meet, I
• 35:38
  find find his section the most entertaining to listen to and
• 35:43
  think about. Yeah, he get where he's exiled
• 35:47
  and like. Mm hmm.
• 35:50
  It's a nice little detail and it's a shame that he has to die.
• 35:56
  Well, let's not go right to his death.
• 35:59
  Come on, give me something. Well, like, what did you, what
• 36:02
  did you like about the historian?
• 36:04
  Well, let me start. Let's kind of go through it in
• 36:08
  order, because then I can kind of organize my thoughts.
• 36:11
  First off, he's got werewolf prisoners.
• 36:16
  They are chained up and they must do his bidding.
• 36:20
  They he. But then later on he describes
• 36:24
  them as bodyguards that were a gift from Lucian, suggesting
• 36:29
  that they are there willingly, therefore why the chains?
• 36:34
  So that little bit of inconsistency bugged me.
• 36:38
  I'm not bothered by him having werewolf guards, I just wish
• 36:42
  there had been some consistency there.
• 36:46
  The sexy vampires are fine, I just don't fully understand why
• 36:53
  they were exiled. Like, because presumably if
• 36:59
  they're with it, well, I guess he could be starting his own
• 37:02
  coven. Like he could have turned them
• 37:05
  all right, I've forgiven the sexy vampires.
• 37:07
  Like, I was sitting here thinking that they had come
• 37:12
  along with him. I forgot that he can turn other
• 37:17
  people into vampires. So fine movie I I take it back.
• 37:24
  I feel like sometimes vampire movies just kind of shy away
• 37:27
  from turning because you get the whole like Oh well now this
• 37:30
  person needs to learn how to be a vampire and that's a whole
• 37:33
  nother movie. Yeah.
• 37:34
  Like do we wanna deal with it? Yeah.
• 37:37
  What type of vampire turning movie are we gonna make?
• 37:41
  And it does need to be a whole movie to to deal with that
• 37:45
  consequence. That's what we had with Michael.
• 37:47
  He had bitten by a lichen, and we spent the whole movie dealing
• 37:52
  with, let's make sure he doesn't change so that he can get bitten
• 37:55
  by a vampire, too. So yeah, like, we couldn't deal
• 38:01
  with talking about all of that stuff.
• 38:03
  But after all of the action is done and we're back to talkie,
• 38:09
  talkie moments, I really enjoy the lore dump that we get.
• 38:15
  I enjoy the fact that the historian has been selling the
• 38:21
  Vampire Killer weapons. Yeah, yeah, I love that.
• 38:28
  Exiled him. Yeah.
• 38:31
  Why does he have to preserve your life?
• 38:33
  Like he's got to survive, he's got to eat.
• 38:39
  I really enjoyed all of the history that he laid out it.
• 38:44
  It kind of expands upon the last movie and gives us a bit more.
• 38:47
  It lays out everything that's going on, gives us the whole
• 38:52
  clear picture of what led us here.
• 38:56
  It doesn't necessarily clear up my confusion as to why it's such
• 39:02
  a threat for these brothers to be reunited, But that's what we
• 39:07
  got to stop. That's what this guy lays out.
• 39:10
  He's like, this is our mission. This is what you got to do.
• 39:15
  And then when, you know, it's his turn to meet Marcus, I do
• 39:20
  like that that he's able to have the courage.
• 39:24
  To be like. I don't want to talk.
• 39:27
  Giving it a good old try to be like, well, I don't know, I'm
• 39:33
  not. I don't feel like he sided with
• 39:38
  the other people more than he was just preserving his own
• 39:41
  life. Yeah, he has to be threatened
• 39:44
  into giving any information away.
• 39:46
  It's just Marcus doesn't necessarily need to threaten,
• 39:49
  he'll just drink all the blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:55
  Interesting side character. But I do think this is the the
• 40:01
  thing that careful what you wish for.
• 40:03
  Sometimes when there were side characters in James Bond and
• 40:07
  they can't die, it's like, well, this is this is like a dangerous
• 40:14
  movie, right? People should be able to.
• 40:16
  Die and this interesting side character, he dies and it's.
• 40:23
  Like but to counterpoint I will argue if it's a side character
• 40:28
  who dies then absolutely no one else is at risk.
• 40:34
  If they only have the courage to kill people we just met, then
• 40:39
  yeah, none of our main guys are going to die permanently anyway.
• 40:45
  I, I kind of wanted them to keep him dead because then hey, it's,
• 40:54
  it's our main actresses movie like.
• 40:58
  She's yeah. Let's just focus on her, yeah?
• 41:01
  Why can't we make her, I don't know, make her a hybrid?
• 41:06
  Can she be a hybrid too? Apparently all you have to do is
• 41:10
  drink werewolf blood if you're Marcus.
• 41:13
  Well, the answer to your question is yes, she will become
• 41:16
  a hybrid. Yes, but she's the promise dead.
• 41:24
  Yeah, so the end of of this guy's whole bit is allowing our
• 41:32
  main characters to meet our new mystery character.
• 41:38
  Oh yeah, sends him to them. Yep.
• 41:40
  Yeah, so we do finally get them all together to be able to to
• 41:46
  have even more history and lore dropped upon us.
• 41:51
  And that's this is at some point, at some point in this
• 41:55
  conversation, we get Celine saying you're the oldest you
• 41:58
  could have stopped them. And and I hate that as anything.
• 42:04
  I hate that that line exists. It it just kind of ruins the
• 42:08
  whole movie when you hear those words come out of her mouth.
• 42:14
  But I couldn't beat them. They bullied me.
• 42:19
  Yeah, I don't know the the the main dude, right?
• 42:24
  His reasoning is because they're his children and how could you
• 42:28
  possibly kill your children? They're trying to kill these.
• 42:31
  History is full of, you know, people who have killed their
• 42:35
  children. So I don't, I guess he just is
• 42:40
  totally incapable of killing his children.
• 42:44
  But it is important to remember that he is an immortal human.
• 42:49
  He is not undead. He is still living, but he is
• 42:55
  immortal and he is human. Those are his D&D
• 42:59
  classifications. Both things.
• 43:02
  Just got him. We just got to make sure the
• 43:05
  audience knows that this this is the thing.
• 43:09
  Marcus and William, they are immortals.
• 43:11
  They are the children of this guy.
• 43:15
  Court Alexander, I think is what they keep calling him in this
• 43:19
  movie. He's got like 3 names and I I'm
• 43:22
  just going to call him the mystery guy because I don't
• 43:26
  remember a single one of them. Alex.
• 43:29
  Yeah, yeah. His two children are the first
• 43:34
  vampire and the first werewolf. They're the ones we're we're
• 43:37
  talking about for this whole movie.
• 43:39
  And I guess everyone after them is only kind of immortal.
• 43:43
  But they're that's more of a an offshoot of them being either a
• 43:47
  lichen or a vampire. They don't necessarily have the
• 43:52
  same immortality. I don't know.
• 43:55
  It's very hard to understand. All we really need to know is
• 43:59
  that Mystery Man is an immortal and he's a human.
• 44:04
  Those are his classifications. Well, we get lots of exposition
• 44:10
  from him and I think of this, this moment that has some action
• 44:17
  coming in. I'm OK with the explaining
• 44:23
  himself. I don't think it takes too long.
• 44:26
  But she sit right here where she's like some point somebody
• 44:33
  says that, oh, you have the key and she's the map.
• 44:37
  But this I felt like I wrote it down because I was like, how is
• 44:41
  she the map? Oh, because she saw the police
• 44:43
  and like, oh. Yeah.
• 44:46
  That's kind of a because thumb line her.
• 44:48
  Blood memory. Yeah, Yep, Yep.
• 44:50
  They'll love it. I mean, it's, it's what they've
• 44:52
  been setting up this whole time and I'm pretty sure they've been
• 44:55
  setting it up just for that line.
• 44:57
  It made me think of Water World where there's a map.
• 45:01
  To. Mount Everest or whatever, go
• 45:05
  find that clip. Maybe we'll see.
• 45:11
  Only you in the future will know if I did.
• 45:17
  I mean, I don't, I don't think I put too much notes on anything
• 45:21
  that he said because it was like, oh, he's Alexander.
• 45:25
  He's super old. I think I wrote down his last
• 45:27
  name is Macaroon like the cookie but.
• 45:32
  Why not? I know a good thing of this
• 45:36
  section slash act is a stunt guy does like a through the window
• 45:41
  onto a table stuntfall and man it looks brutal.
• 45:46
  Fantastic job there's. Some very good stunt work in
• 45:50
  this movie and that. That one is a shining moment.
• 45:56
  There's a lot of great action in this movie.
• 45:58
  There's also a lot of bad action in this movie, but you know that
• 46:03
  this is one of the better action sequences.
• 46:05
  I'm maybe I'm a sucker for a boat fight when there's some
• 46:11
  kind of infiltration of a boat because I like it when.
• 46:15
  On a boat, right? Yeah, they're they're on his
• 46:18
  private boat. That's that's where he conducts
• 46:22
  his business because then he can travel all over the world and
• 46:26
  he's got a helicopter for. I feel like they get broken
• 46:30
  through the floor or something because then there's water where
• 46:34
  what's his face gets stabbed? Oh, they pull him out through
• 46:39
  the boat so he's not inside the boat.
• 46:42
  I was like, how is there water in the bottom of the boat?
• 46:45
  You know about that size? I think there's usually water at
• 46:48
  the bottom. Of the submarine pen, you know.
• 46:51
  Yeah, and that's what I really thought it was like.
• 46:53
  I was like, oh so they also have submarines like.
• 46:57
  Vampire. Submarines.
• 46:58
  They've got everything. Yeah, human submarines do.
• 47:02
  This is the immortal human crew. Oh.
• 47:06
  Except nobody else is immortal. They're all humans.
• 47:09
  He. Has to keep replenishing his
• 47:11
  employees and. Yeah, teaching them what's going
• 47:14
  on. He just lives on.
• 47:17
  I like, I, I hate to say it, but I liked when Michael was quickly
• 47:24
  defeated. Yeah, I thought he was a nothing
• 47:27
  character last time. This time, I still think he's a
• 47:30
  nothing character. And they make it quick.
• 47:33
  They're just like, look, he's these hybrids.
• 47:38
  They they're, we don't know what they are, but here's another
• 47:40
  hybrid and he's older. And we said older make mean
• 47:43
  stronger. Therefore, we'll just kill off
• 47:46
  Michael real, real fast. He's he's too young, he's not
• 47:51
  strong. Yep, He's way too young to be
• 47:54
  powerful. That's just the way it is.
• 47:58
  I don't understand how that little spike is able to hold his
• 48:02
  hand down. Yeah.
• 48:04
  Something need to happen? Yeah, they needed two spikes,
• 48:09
  but the second one is good enough to stop Michael from
• 48:12
  struggling and he'll eventually permanently die and definitely
• 48:17
  not come back. Definitely not just because, and
• 48:21
  that's where it's sad he like comes back so that like, I don't
• 48:28
  know. So her love interest isn't dead.
• 48:31
  I don't know. Yeah, I was going to say because
• 48:33
  the girl hero can't save the day on her own.
• 48:36
  I guess. Can't have that in the movie
• 48:39
  like. Sure, they kind of fight equally
• 48:42
  at the end act, but. Yeah, each of them has an
• 48:47
  opponent. Why not?
• 48:48
  And. Why not make could do something
• 48:50
  cool? Why not ingenuity?
• 48:53
  Let her beat them. On top of that, before we get
• 48:58
  there, after the death of Michael, Alexander is dying.
• 49:03
  For 30 minutes, he has to give up, yeah.
• 49:07
  So he has to give up his immortal human blood so that
• 49:12
  Celine will become a hybrid. I completely missed that that
• 49:16
  was gonna change her. Like I, I was like, oh, it's so
• 49:20
  that she knows some information. It's part of the 30 minutes of
• 49:23
  them just talking about how he's dying.
• 49:26
  She like pulls away from drinking his blood and she's
• 49:29
  like, what will I become? And he's like, I don't even know
• 49:33
  what he says. It's so stupid that I like the
• 49:35
  the line has just left my brain. Yeah, it didn't enter my brain.
• 49:41
  I was like, oh, everybody's drinking blood.
• 49:43
  She put some of her blood on top of Michael to make him
• 49:46
  something. He didn't work, though.
• 49:49
  And yeah. I presumably to help him heal,
• 49:51
  but I maybe that's why he healed, she just needed more
• 49:55
  time. These people have as much blood
• 49:56
  as they need in their bodies. Yes but never enough to be
• 50:01
  immortal because again you can drain all their blood and kill
• 50:05
  them including the immortal human who is older then all
• 50:09
  three of the vampires who regularly get drained for 200
• 50:13
  years before coming out once every 300 years.
• 50:19
  I I this whole lore just irks me.
• 50:24
  Making it messy, yes. Too much spaghetti.
• 50:29
  Everything connects to something else.
• 50:31
  I wonder what I think the next movie is A prequel so they don't
• 50:34
  even have to deal with it. Hopefully, unless they're like,
• 50:39
  let's do even more, Lord we. Need to find an actor who can
• 50:43
  play William because he wasn't on screen at all.
• 50:45
  So we can pick whoever we want, yeah.
• 50:48
  Well, let's talk about William, because we're getting to meeting
• 50:52
  him for the entirety of this movie.
• 50:56
  Whenever we see William, it is usually what to me looks like a
• 51:02
  mannequin. Like not a person in a costume,
• 51:05
  but like a puppet or a model. I could see that, yeah.
• 51:09
  It doesn't move a lot when it's in its practical form, but then
• 51:13
  there's like a puppet version that plants its feet and will
• 51:17
  move around a little bit but never move its feet.
• 51:20
  Then you've got the all CG full movement, William and I just
• 51:29
  find that interesting. I'm just like, if he's moving
• 51:31
  it's CG, if he's if his upper half is moving it's a puppet,
• 51:37
  and if he's only shifting left and right, it's a model.
• 51:42
  Maybe that was the best way they could make that happen.
• 51:45
  Yeah, I really wanted William to have spent 800 years in the cage
• 51:52
  thingy and have mastered turning back into his human form.
• 52:00
  For real, right? 800 years and you still can't
• 52:04
  figure out how to change. Like you're just being
• 52:08
  obstinate, William. I was like, I wanted him to be
• 52:12
  another actor and be like, oh, because they do kind of talk to
• 52:17
  each other a little bit, but William doesn't talk.
• 52:22
  Marcus is like, hey, it's me, don't worry, don't freak out.
• 52:24
  And William calms down. It's like, oh, so.
• 52:29
  So can you teach him to be a human really quick?
• 52:32
  Like, no, he just gets to be a monster.
• 52:36
  Like, oh. Yeah, they need to be monsters
• 52:39
  so our heroes can save the day. Which, again, is tenuous because
• 52:44
  part of me is like, hey, the brothers are reunited.
• 52:47
  Like this is good right? This is good.
• 52:51
  He's not in a cage anymore. Well, he's a monster, so no, you
• 52:54
  cannot root for him. And everybody's going to be
• 52:58
  either monster for him for the final battle.
• 52:59
  But I don't know. Are we skipping anything
• 53:02
  important? I'm trying to think of anything
• 53:06
  that could have possibly been because there's so much lore,
• 53:09
  but I think after Alex kills himself with the grenades after
• 53:15
  failing to bleed out. Apparently, well he's like OK so
• 53:20
  I saw the the clip he cuts himself to give him his blood
• 53:25
  and she's hesitates and he says that she will become the future
• 53:31
  and. That's it.
• 53:32
  She pulls away after she drinks the blood and he kind of looks
• 53:36
  like he's that blank face dies but then he has to grenade his
• 53:41
  entire ship with with him still there.
• 53:44
  Like I don't understand man, OK. He's the only one who can't
• 53:48
  bleed out, the only Immortal who cannot bleed out, I guess.
• 53:53
  Well, and I guess Victor, Amelia and Marcus who regularly are
• 53:58
  blood out. OK, fine, whatever.
• 54:02
  None of that drinking of the blood mattered because we're
• 54:05
  supposed to believe that Celine will now be the most powerful of
• 54:11
  them all. And she can't.
• 54:14
  She barely wins. Like, yeah.
• 54:18
  I I think it was it was a little bit since her, I don't know
• 54:24
  costume her. What would you call it?
• 54:29
  Transformation doesn't do anything.
• 54:32
  Maybe, maybe maybe those blue eyes that she would get at some
• 54:38
  points. Maybe that's permanent now I
• 54:40
  don't even I don't know, but it's her eyes are like that for
• 54:44
  the the rest of the time. So maybe that's when she
• 54:46
  transformed and more powerful self, but everybody else gets
• 54:51
  these cool little upgrades so. Yeah, some physical change.
• 54:56
  Yeah, like maybe she could have gotten like a demon tail or
• 55:00
  something, you know, something practically.
• 55:03
  Useful, since that's what humans are known for.
• 55:09
  Yeah. I mean, the eyes, I didn't
• 55:13
  notice that. So you got that and I didn't?
• 55:17
  Well, that's why it's. Like at least they had that.
• 55:19
  There's yeah, there's, there is not much saying that.
• 55:23
  And I don't even know if that stays the whole time because.
• 55:26
  Yeah, I wasn't paying that close attention.
• 55:29
  Yeah, the eye upgrade was cool. I like the new look on the eyes,
• 55:33
  but it is so subtle that you have to be looking at her eyes
• 55:37
  to see that they have changed. I OK in the finale one of the
• 55:45
  things that I really liked and then it turned into a nothing
• 55:50
  was the fact that all of Celine's allies were defeated by
• 55:57
  William and therefore all of them became monstrous
• 56:01
  werewolves. Like no thinking, just killing.
• 56:07
  And then OK, one of the humans points out that they only have
• 56:15
  the UV bullets. Oh yeah.
• 56:18
  And she's like yeah, it's not going to kill William, but it
• 56:21
  will slow him down. Then it proceeds to kill all of
• 56:25
  the second generation werewolves and do nothing to Marcus like
• 56:30
  we. Forgot that the bullets they're
• 56:33
  supposed to do something extra. Yeah, like this is a vampire.
• 56:37
  He is still half vampire. Like right.
• 56:40
  The UV should be doing something it.
• 56:44
  Would probably do something to Michael unless they forget the
• 56:48
  so Oh yeah, the. Same with that too, he gets shot
• 56:50
  a few times and nothing happens to him.
• 56:52
  So yeah, they, I just got frustrated that like, the UV
• 56:58
  bullets mean nothing and that apparently no one carries silver
• 57:02
  nitrate bullets anymore. Like whatever happened in the
• 57:06
  last movie, who cares? It's gone now like.
• 57:09
  That was yesterday when that movie happened in the timeline.
• 57:16
  That's, like, so far away. Like, don't even think about it.
• 57:20
  Yeah, when Michael enters the battle, the thing that bugs me
• 57:25
  the most about that is the fact that he enters and unnecessarily
• 57:29
  takes a rope with him, just so that rope can later be used to
• 57:34
  kill the helicopter. And bring the practical
• 57:38
  helicopter into the movie set. Yeah.
• 57:42
  Yes, with the rock supported rope suspension Brig.
• 57:47
  Something. Yeah, it's.
• 57:51
  So silly. Very.
• 57:52
  Elaborate setup. I It looks nice, but man, yeah.
• 58:00
  It's fun, I like I'm harping on it because it is cheesy and it's
• 58:05
  so dumb that they try to make the bridge look like a rope
• 58:09
  bridge. Except a rope bridge wouldn't
• 58:11
  work that way if a helicopter had crashed through it.
• 58:15
  So they make it a a brick suspension bridge but they keep
• 58:19
  the rope suspension part like it's so dumb.
• 58:25
  While she gets to do, you know, a little dual wielding while she
• 58:29
  fights with William. And in the first movie, I didn't
• 58:32
  actually get to mention in it, whenever she reloads her gun,
• 58:36
  she just clicks the bottoms together like Dorothy and
• 58:40
  somehow. We don't know how she got them
• 58:43
  there. Yeah, like how those extra mags
• 58:45
  got in. No, no, no.
• 58:46
  It's just, you know, like when you fire a nerf gun, you you got
• 58:51
  to click back the thing and then it's ready.
• 58:55
  OK, magic. Bullet does it with both the
• 58:58
  backs of the things. Yeah, it is her style and it
• 59:02
  works for this movie, but every time I see it I'm always like,
• 59:06
  I'm interested in knowing how she got the clips into the gun
• 59:12
  so that she could do this cool slap reload thing.
• 59:16
  Where they're both not locked in.
• 59:18
  It's like if you put one in but don't slam it shut and then you
• 59:22
  get tripped the other one in. Like if the purse is going to
• 59:25
  fall out. Yeah, why not just click it
• 59:29
  shut? Yeah, just.
• 59:30
  Click them both No. No, no, we got to do the cool
• 59:33
  thing, which is cool is cool. I'm not going to say it's not
• 59:37
  cool. It's just the back of my head.
• 59:40
  Can't not ask these questions. Yeah, well, should we get to the
• 59:47
  the final kills? Sure 'cause it's just, you know,
• 59:52
  getting, making sure that William does not go free because
• 59:58
  he is a monster and killing Marcus because he set the
• 1:00:02
  monster free. OK, like the brother villains,
• 1:00:07
  if they if they had been less sympathetic I guess then it
• 1:00:14
  would be more heroic for them to die like.
• 1:00:19
  What you call it, guys in the Matrix, the the twins ghosts
• 1:00:24
  like they look like they're bad. They look like they.
• 1:00:28
  They act like they're bad. Yeah, so.
• 1:00:32
  Yeah, they, this one, I think the biggest disservice that it
• 1:00:36
  did to its villains was making them likable without justifying
• 1:00:42
  why they needed to die. And so for me as an audience
• 1:00:46
  member, I'm kind of like, was were Celine and Michael the bad
• 1:00:51
  guys of this movie? Like, they just, they just
• 1:00:53
  killed these two brothers who finally got reunited after 800
• 1:00:58
  years? Like yeah, that sucks.
• 1:01:00
  It's it's pretty close. Like they're, they're monsters.
• 1:01:04
  I I guess, yeah. So I mean, that's the fight
• 1:01:11
  that's happening. I've there's, there's been a lot
• 1:01:14
  of action and that hasn't been a bad thing.
• 1:01:18
  Been a lot of sets that has been a bad thing.
• 1:01:24
  This kind of just she gets the upper hand somehow because it's
• 1:01:32
  it seems like it's not like a equal fight.
• 1:01:36
  And. Michael gets the drop on William
• 1:01:39
  and it, and effortlessly. Kills him.
• 1:01:46
  It felt like it was, yeah, effortlessly and too quickly.
• 1:01:52
  But also, how much fighting can you do before it's like, well,
• 1:01:55
  these guys are equally matched? True, true.
• 1:01:58
  And how much slashing and roaring and close-ups of wounds
• 1:02:04
  can you get away with before it gets boring?
• 1:02:07
  Yeah, I will admit the I I was fine with the Marcus Saline
• 1:02:12
  fight. It it annoyed me that the right
• 1:02:17
  away she was almost killed almost a one shot at the very
• 1:02:21
  beginning. Yeah.
• 1:02:23
  And how many chest wounds can you take getting stabbed?
• 1:02:28
  Marcus got shot in the chest like last time he got smashed on
• 1:02:32
  the mountain. He had to take a a night to
• 1:02:34
  recuperate. And this one, he gets shotgun
• 1:02:36
  shelled like 2 feet away four times.
• 1:02:40
  And he's he's he's all right. He's gonna.
• 1:02:43
  Yeah, he doesn't care. He's he's good with it.
• 1:02:47
  He's fine with it. And that makes me wonder, what
• 1:02:50
  kind of why did she take the shotgun?
• 1:02:52
  Like, did she know if there were specialized shells in there
• 1:02:57
  with, I don't know, wood from the Holy Cross in order to do
• 1:03:02
  damage to a vampire? I I think she just took
• 1:03:05
  conventional lead bullets into a super fight and expected us the
• 1:03:14
  audience to be like, wow, he's so strong.
• 1:03:17
  Like I'm pretty sure lead doesn't do anything to vampires
• 1:03:20
  or werewolves. Like that's kind of their main
• 1:03:22
  deal. Yeah, it it doesn't feel like
• 1:03:28
  there's even a reason that say that it's too long of a runtime
• 1:03:32
  or something like. It's really not.
• 1:03:35
  It's less than two hours it goes into.
• 1:03:37
  Like they reunite in the sun and voice over over water and it's
• 1:03:45
  over. Like that's our hybrid.
• 1:03:47
  That's our hybrid everybody. She's a day Walker now.
• 1:03:51
  Yeah, it just ends. So like there could have been
• 1:03:58
  more and then we get another movie, but it's the prequel, so
• 1:04:01
  it's like. Yeah.
• 1:04:04
  I OK, maybe you guys right off into the sunset, everything's
• 1:04:07
  fine. Maybe.
• 1:04:09
  We've got two different types of hybrids who are in love and now
• 1:04:14
  able to walk around in the daytime if they share blood.
• 1:04:19
  Is Michael going to have a third classification?
• 1:04:23
  Is he going to be immortal human as well?
• 1:04:26
  Like, it's so weird. But yeah, we don't get any time
• 1:04:31
  to think about it because we're going to go straight to credits
• 1:04:33
  and it's just songs. Game of Credits.
• 1:04:36
  Yeah. I think so.
• 1:04:42
  I feel like there's a not a rule, but a, a general idea that
• 1:04:48
  the plays of Shakespeare, time tragedies and whatnot, stuff
• 1:04:54
  happens in 2 days, the first day and the second day.
• 1:04:58
  And it's like essentially these movies have set that up and just
• 1:05:03
  given each one its own movie, it may have been able to fit into
• 1:05:08
  one so that you get the their whole thing and they beat Marcus
• 1:05:15
  and they're happily ever after, like.
• 1:05:18
  I, I'm going to push back and say I don't think they could.
• 1:05:21
  Like even if we were to just take the movies we had and mush
• 1:05:26
  them together into like a three hour movie, like yes, that would
• 1:05:30
  still be close to a runtime of like a Marvel movie these days.
• 1:05:37
  But I'm trying to think of like, even if we cut the plot together
• 1:05:41
  better I I think I would still be so frustrated by the final
• 1:05:49
  boss being two brothers who just want to be reunited.
• 1:05:54
  Yeah. That oh, that just irks me so
• 1:05:57
  hard. But then their.
• 1:05:58
  Lord could have been thought at at one time together, and then
• 1:06:02
  maybe it would have been better. That's a good point instead of
• 1:06:06
  having contradictory. Lower or the.
• 1:06:09
  Point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:06:14
  It's an idea. All right, well, on this show we
• 1:06:19
  offer ratings, not grades. Primary difference is where you
• 1:06:24
  find the average in a grade. The average is at a 7 out of 10.
• 1:06:27
  And so if you want to say something is the average, you
• 1:06:31
  kind of move it upwards into the seven territory.
• 1:06:35
  And then everybody feels good about their grades.
• 1:06:38
  But in a rating, we say the five is the average.
• 1:06:41
  That's where the middle is. We don't want to like, we don't
• 1:06:44
  care about feelings. We're going to say if a movie is
• 1:06:47
  average, it falls right in the middle at a 5 out of 10.
• 1:06:50
  Don't get upset if we say that. It just means it's in the
• 1:06:53
  middle. But with all of that said,
• 1:06:56
  Justin, what would you give this movie on a scale of 1 to 10?
• 1:07:01
  I started off liking it more than the last one.
• 1:07:04
  It felt like there was more of the main characters being people
• 1:07:11
  being characters and there wasn't any more Craven and I, I
• 1:07:22
  wanted to see Marcus and he came out looking cool.
• 1:07:25
  And I didn't quite catch the dude's hybrid initially because
• 1:07:29
  it was just like, oh, he's in his vampire form because
• 1:07:32
  werewolves go in there werewolf form.
• 1:07:34
  But then I would have forgotten that in the first movie, nobody
• 1:07:37
  went into a vampire form. I, I've come down, I came in at
• 1:07:49
  above average. It was like 5 1/2.
• 1:07:51
  It was fun. And then talking about it, I
• 1:07:56
  think I'm dropping below to about 4 1/2 because it I think
• 1:08:06
  your lower talk probably rubbed off on me because a lot of a.
• 1:08:12
  Lot of. Holes come up and it's not not
• 1:08:17
  very cleanly dealt with. I feel like there could have
• 1:08:20
  been maybe a different reason for the unleashing William
• 1:08:25
  again, I don't feel like Marcus wanted to unleash all of the
• 1:08:32
  monsters that William came with. He just wanted William Freeze.
• 1:08:35
  Yeah, If he had wanted William to be a source of destruction,
• 1:08:40
  we're going to kill the planet. Like, oh, OK, he's a villain,
• 1:08:44
  proper villain. But he just wanted his brother
• 1:08:47
  out of captivity for 800 years. And Victor, we found out last
• 1:08:51
  movie isn't a great guy. He locked you up.
• 1:08:55
  These guys are so sympathetic. I'm sorry.
• 1:09:00
  For radio. 4 1/2. I think that's fair.
• 1:09:04
  I think that's genuinely fair. I, I came in with a rating and
• 1:09:10
  I'm sticking with that rating. There was the last movie I gave
• 1:09:13
  a four and there was a time when I was feeling bad about giving
• 1:09:18
  this movie A4 and then I watched it a second time during the week
• 1:09:23
  and I was like, No 4 would be generous.
• 1:09:27
  This movie's a three and I am sticking to that three.
• 1:09:33
  I I just like, yes, it looks and sounds better than the last
• 1:09:38
  movie, but you know, better production doesn't mean better
• 1:09:43
  writing and better anything else.
• 1:09:47
  And so like there's times when it, it's interesting.
• 1:09:53
  So that's why it's it's not way down in the scale there, but for
• 1:10:00
  the most part, it's kind of boring and kind of convoluted,
• 1:10:05
  kind of contradictory to not only the last movie, but itself.
• 1:10:11
  And then of course, the biggest problem of them all is that our
• 1:10:15
  final boss is more likable than our heroes.
• 1:10:20
  It's not necessarily the fault of the movie.
• 1:10:22
  Our heroes are are meant to be aloof, and they're slightly less
• 1:10:27
  aloof this movie than they were in the last movie.
• 1:10:31
  But that said, I don't know their motivations beyond
• 1:10:34
  survival. Whereas with my villains,
• 1:10:37
  they're brothers. They want to see each other
• 1:10:40
  again. I know their motivations and I
• 1:10:43
  kind of like their motivations. So yeah, I I think 3 is fair. 3
• 1:10:50
  is acknowledging the fact that this movie looks better than the
• 1:10:55
  last movie, but it is also making sure that everybody knows
• 1:11:01
  it's kind of a crap movie. But that gives us a show average
• 1:11:06
  of 3.75. Is that lower than the first
• 1:11:10
  one? It is first one was 4.5.
• 1:11:15
  I guess I liked it too much. Well, the first one like this is
• 1:11:23
  what I'm going to say about the first one, despite the fact that
• 1:11:25
  I genuinely kind of chuckle whenever I think of it as Matrix
• 1:11:31
  with vampires. It is trying to do something
• 1:11:35
  original. And for the time, for 2003, it
• 1:11:41
  was certainly making waves. It was certainly something that
• 1:11:45
  you saw. And we're like, oh, that's
• 1:11:47
  Underworld. I know that movie.
• 1:11:50
  This second one it I don't get that same vibe even remotely.
• 1:11:56
  I'm just like it's, it's a movie.
• 1:12:00
  That it is, yeah. Well, I think that's a, that's a
• 1:12:07
  wrap on 2/5 of Underworld. I think there's 5, right?
• 1:12:14
  There are five that I know of, if there's like, OK, so we can
• 1:12:20
  discuss this with the audience as well.
• 1:12:24
  But I tend to think, or I have always said that we should be
• 1:12:28
  only doing the theatrical releases.
• 1:12:31
  But then I remembered that my favorite movie in the Predator
• 1:12:35
  franchise was made for TVI don't think it ever went to theaters.
• 1:12:41
  And so that got me thinking about The Matrix.
• 1:12:45
  And I think I would want to include The Animatrix with The
• 1:12:50
  Matrix. Or if we were doing Star Wars, I
• 1:12:53
  think I would want to include Clone Wars despite it having a
• 1:12:57
  limited theatrical run. Like I think they should just be
• 1:13:05
  movies, but we shouldn't do TV shows.
• 1:13:08
  So if there was like an anthology or a made for TV
• 1:13:11
  movie, I think I'd be willing to consider it.
• 1:13:16
  I think maybe these the decades have changed how much a series
• 1:13:25
  is unlike a movie because you got like Sherlock that were hour
• 1:13:29
  and a half long episodes. That's true and like 4 of them
• 1:13:33
  per season. That's longer than Underworld
• 1:13:37
  Rise of the lichens. Maybe we don't have a dollar
• 1:13:44
  value to attach to it, but I do like the Sherlock's.
• 1:13:51
  Yeah, that's so we'll, I guess we'll have to continue having
• 1:13:56
  this discussion as we go and we'll just have to pick
• 1:13:58
  franchises that are nice and easy.
• 1:14:00
  And as far as Underworld goes, it's just the 5 movies.
• 1:14:04
  All right, we'll make it. That's where we're drawing the
• 1:14:06
  line. We're not going to if if someone
• 1:14:08
  tells us there was an anthology. There's 25.
• 1:14:11
  Making the cut. Yeah, they put them out all over
• 1:14:15
  the place. All right, well, if you enjoyed
• 1:14:20
  what you heard, why don't you interact with us on the platform
• 1:14:23
  you are currently listening on? Yeah, I'll leave that
• 1:14:27
  preposition dangling back there. Give us a like a comment, a
• 1:14:32
  review, whatever it is. If you really liked it, why not
• 1:14:36
  share it with a friend or a family member?
• 1:14:38
  If they, if you knew someone who really loved the Underworld
• 1:14:42
  series and you just kind of want to, I don't know, we kind of
• 1:14:47
  shit on this movie a lot and I feel kind of bad about it.
• 1:14:52
  I think time hasn't been kind to it.
• 1:14:54
  I do think maybe there's better nostalgia from audience members
• 1:14:59
  because maybe you watched it in the theatre and loved it, that's
• 1:15:03
  all. Right.
• 1:15:03
  Yeah, maybe. And if you want to tell us why
• 1:15:06
  you still love it, send us an e-mail at
• 1:15:09
  potatochippicturespod@gmail.com. I'm I'm willing to read it and
• 1:15:15
  maybe even change my own opinion if if you give me something
• 1:15:19
  interesting to think about. And then of course, you can
• 1:15:24
  check out the shorts on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.
• 1:15:29
  I think that covers everything on our end.
• 1:15:35
  So let's just say we will be back next week with Underworld
• 1:15:41
  Rise of the Lichens. Thank you so much for listening.
• 1:15:45
  Goodbye. See you.