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Actor Farmer Broker Spy · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  when i was a child or teen preteen i don't even know we used to go back east to visit family in
• 0:22
  upstate new york yep and one of our my dad's friends had like a big property with
• 0:27
  like a pond like a big natural pond i don't know if it's natural i don't know why i said natural
• 0:32
  it was a pond big natty pond could have been a silicone pond for all i know anyway um he would
• 0:40
  like fish on his pond yeah so he's like we should go out on the pond and i was like
• 0:46
  i'm not like a nature kid yeah so i was like okay like we can go out and like we're out on the pond
• 0:52
  and he started rocking the
• 0:54
  the boat
• 0:57
  which is where the saying comes from by the way
• 1:00
  my personal experience
• 1:01
  anyway he started rocking it and I was like
• 1:04
  screaming for him to stop you know
• 1:06
  don't rock the boat
• 1:08
  yeah that's where that song
• 1:10
  comes from
• 1:11
  my exact experience anyway so yeah he kept doing it
• 1:14
  and I was like freaking out I started to have like a panic attack
• 1:16
  and then
• 1:17
  I went overboard in the lake
• 1:20
  or the pond and I had to like swim back to the shore.
• 1:23
  Was you going overboard the result of him rocking it
• 1:26
  or are you panicking because he was rocking it?
• 1:29
  It's hard to say.
• 1:30
  The mists of time obscure even the strongest of memories.
• 1:34
  But I will say I don't think it would have happened
• 1:36
  if he hadn't been aggressively tormenting a sweet innocent child.
• 1:40
  Like laughing like ha ha ha ha.
• 1:42
  Like look at you, you're upset.
• 1:43
  Like that kind of.
• 1:44
  Yeah, yeah.
• 1:45
  He was doing it to freak you out.
• 1:46
  Yeah, because he knew that I was...
• 1:51
  That exactly what would happen would happen.
• 1:52
  He knew.
• 1:54
  Anyway.
• 1:55
  But you made it.
• 1:57
  So you were swimming back on your clothes?
• 1:59
  That's good for you.
• 2:01
  Well, I wasn't going to take them off after I got in the water.
• 2:03
  No, but I'm saying that it's hard to swim in clothes.
• 2:05
  I don't think people realize how difficult that is.
• 2:07
  When you're scared of fish, you can swim fast in clothes.
• 2:11
  You said this was your dad's friend?
• 2:13
  Yes.
• 2:13
  your dad's friends have done a lot of weird stuff to you yeah i think i deserve to get into heaven
• 2:21
  despite all of my sins based on what was done to me yeah you've done your punishment here on earth
• 2:28
  thank you yeah you've done your purgatory yeah here i'm ready to be rewarded um well what was it
• 2:38
  wintertime or summertime for some reason i was picturing this being winter it wasn't the winter
• 2:42
  time if it was in the winter that would be like crazy because it's really cold over there in the
• 2:45
  yeah i was gonna say that i think it was probably like spring or summer yeah okay
• 2:48
  you'd be like george bailey's kid brother you'd have that ear infection
• 2:54
  oh richard at bro bailey yes yep yeah um
• 3:02
  wow i'm sorry that happened to you thanks it made me stronger i guess or whatever or whatever
• 3:08
  yeah people say that don't you hate people say like oh it doesn't kill you makes you stronger
• 3:12
  i'm like what about being maimed yeah there are certain there are certain things that don't kill
• 3:20
  you that definitely make you way weaker than you were and maybe forever yep horrible saying zero
• 3:25
  out of ten yeah that's saying it's not based on any of my life experiences because you got weaker
• 3:32
  everything that didn't kill you welcome to very fine friends a podcast where friends talk about
• 3:41
  stuff a podcast where francis relives childhood trauma uh well how are you today francis today
• 3:50
  yeah today's great except for the horrible rush hour traffic i had to drive into and from work
• 3:56
  everything went perfect i had a theory about this i was thinking if you tested your like stress
• 4:01
  levels, I bet you they would peak in traffic.
• 4:04
  Yeah.
• 4:05
  This is why I don't drive on the freeway.
• 4:08
  Aside from the fact that I'm terrified of dying in a car accident and going at higher
• 4:13
  speeds increases the likelihood of that.
• 4:16
  It's so much less stressful.
• 4:18
  I would rather add seven to eight minutes to my commute and then not feel like the tension
• 4:23
  of being on the freeway and just like, like, all of you.
• 4:29
  i hate you uh so it's just like i have my regular routes and then i kind of just go on autopilot and
• 4:39
  it's not stressful at all i have a couple of tips for driving in traffic because i used to be super
• 4:44
  angry used to be i'm perfectly not anymore okay um but here's something i do like someone got in
• 4:53
  my lane today like with no notice and i was like here i said this out loud it helps to say it out
• 4:57
  out no blinkies or if they like cut in and like you didn't give you notice sometimes i'll say out
• 5:07
  loud like good for them or like you did it you're here that sort of thing congratulations you did it
• 5:15
  or just a simple like sir it's always sir even if it's a lady yeah she knows she knows what he did
• 5:24
  Yeah, traffic's the worst.
• 5:29
  Well, I'm sorry that you had to drive in so much traffic.
• 5:31
  It's okay.
• 5:32
  I got to see a lot of cars.
• 5:33
  That was nice.
• 5:35
  That is a pretty big goal for most people most days.
• 5:40
  I need to see as many cars as I possibly can.
• 5:43
  Well, I like to look in the windows and see what they're doing.
• 5:46
  A lot of people breaking the law out there.
• 5:49
  Like cheating on their taxes in their car?
• 5:52
  With little speech bubbles so I know what's going on.
• 5:54
  Yeah.
• 5:54
  they strangle people in the car and look at me just like shh it's our little secret
• 6:01
  on the freeway going really fast and then you're like dad's friend what are you doing
• 6:07
  yeah throws me a fuzzy navel
• 6:09
  quick interruption every week on the podcast we do something where our producer joe gives
• 6:18
  Francis and I each our own secret word. Throughout the course of the podcast,
• 6:24
  we need to find a way to slip the secret word into our conversation without the other person
• 6:29
  noticing. If the other person can correctly guess the secret word, they get a point. And
• 6:36
  right before we die, we add up all the points. And then we get a prize, whoever has the most
• 6:43
  points for guessing the most secret words. Here's Joe with today's secret words.
• 6:49
  Jenna's secret word is parental. Jenna's decoy word is kindling. Francis's secret word is
• 6:57
  overachiever. Francis's decoy word is expunged. Back to the pod.
• 7:04
  I don't have an elegant segue. That's a segue.
• 7:08
  Speaking of fuzzy navels, it's time for the invention of the week.
• 7:17
  Inventions.
• 7:21
  Francis.
• 7:22
  That's me, boo.
• 7:24
  You got, you hit me, baby.
• 7:26
  Hit me with it.
• 7:26
  Oh, you want to be hit?
• 7:27
  Oh, you want to be hit?
• 7:29
  Oh, yeah.
• 7:30
  You know it.
• 7:31
  You got to give me that sweet, sweet invention.
• 7:35
  You winding up.
• 7:38
  I wish we could do that for like 10 minutes.
• 7:41
  What's stopping us?
• 7:42
  People will stop listening.
• 7:43
  Joe's face.
• 7:45
  It's the extended version.
• 7:46
  Stay tuned for the bonus content.
• 7:48
  Yeah, the bonus content.
• 7:50
  It'll be a video feed of Joe's face with us in the background.
• 7:55
  Joe just like immediately end this, please.
• 8:00
  Joe kills us both.
• 8:01
  New segment idea.
• 8:03
  How quickly can we get Joe to murder us?
• 8:06
  speaking of murder yeah i think it's you know how sometimes you want to murder people
• 8:13
  you're gonna love this well i was just thinking how like you know sometimes in movies people hold
• 8:18
  up two guns and they're like shooting two guns yeah and i'm like get real you're not hitting
• 8:23
  anything with those guns well also uh i've never fired a gun but i've been made to believe that
• 8:29
  they recoil a lot yeah depending on so having two it's like man yeah you gotta be real strong to
• 8:35
  just do a one-handed one-hander when you said i've never fired a gun i pictured you like
• 8:40
  letting a gun go you're free you're free we love you do performance uh i that's true i i
• 8:50
  free guns into the wild so if you ever find a loose gun it's probably one that i've freed
• 8:56
  check out our map for locations of all places jenna's let guns go yep uh anyway i'm sorry
• 9:02
  invention yes my invention is as fellas you know how some people eat in their cars i do know that
• 9:12
  you know how it can be messy i do know that you know how we don't want to be messy i do know that
• 9:21
  you know how some people share cars and they get mad at their partner if they get messy in the car
• 9:24
  oh i do know that here you go i had this thought because uh well so viewers i mean listeners
• 9:33
  will be intimately familiar with the following irrefutable fact taco bell while delicious
• 9:41
  remains the hardest food to eat in the car seriously because the tacos open and lettuce
• 9:47
  falls and cheese falls that's true but soft taco not so much the crunchy taco yeah
• 9:54
  i've had trouble with both which leads me to a new world wait didn't they also used to have the
• 10:04
  the thing like the crunchable or wrap or whatever and their ad used to be like and you're good to go
• 10:09
  and it was like i don't know if i've ever seen that and you're good to go like the whole point
• 10:14
  is like here it is yeah like the crunch wrap yeah like you can eat it on the wild but i'm pretty
• 10:19
  sure they had a like like buy it eat it you good to go like something like that pop it chewing
• 10:25
  anyway sorry i digress go on so taco bell okay the hardest to eat yeah well and this isn't just
• 10:33
  for taco bell but taco bell fans are going to they'll be crying in the streets everyone is
• 10:39
  a taco bell i mean we all secretly love taco bell right or openly love it yeah
• 10:45
  yeah for me for sure for me for sure um check it out okay my invention is a device that you load up
• 10:57
  with sauce these like three or four different condiment teats if you will
• 11:02
  i will you fill them up and then it latches onto your visor so you can sauce your taco
• 11:14
  or your burrow.
• 11:16
  Like milking a cow?
• 11:30
  Okay, keep going.
• 11:32
  Yeah.
• 11:33
  Yeah.
• 11:35
  Well, you don't have to milk it.
• 11:37
  It's like...
• 11:38
  No, I'm going to milk it.
• 11:40
  Okay.
• 11:42
  Okay.
• 11:42
  Anyway, so it frees up your hand
• 11:47
  so you don't have to open the sauce
• 11:49
  when you're driving and, you know,
• 11:51
  putting the sauce on your...
• 11:52
  You don't have to open the packet and...
• 11:53
  Yeah, it could be very dangerous
• 11:54
  even though we're all willing to take that risk.
• 11:57
  It would be nice to not have to.
• 12:01
  Now you just have to use both hands at the same time.
• 12:04
  To milk it.
• 12:05
  And you have to put them in front of your face.
• 12:08
  For just a second.
• 12:09
  You could do it in the drive-thru line.
• 12:10
  Oh.
• 12:10
  you know what that means audience
• 12:13
  someone just got in an accident
• 12:16
  using their taco tea
• 12:18
  well I don't know if that's being picked up
• 12:23
  on Mike
• 12:23
  it might not be being picked up but there's very loud sirens
• 12:27
  going right now
• 12:28
  just down the street
• 12:30
  that's how you know this idea is
• 12:31
  tits
• 12:32
  fire
• 12:33
  fire sauce
• 12:35
  well done
• 12:37
  that is my favorite taco bowl sauce
• 12:39
  me too yeah i agree um so that's just it so it's just straps to your visor little teats
• 12:47
  yes and it's filled with your various sauces yeah like what sauces do you envision
• 12:54
  um being in there the sauces you want um this is totally customizable i was just curious what
• 13:04
  your sauces would be. Oh, you want to know my personal sauces?
• 13:06
  Yeah, your personal sauces.
• 13:08
  Well, fire sauce, of course.
• 13:10
  Sriracha is an obvious choice for me.
• 13:13
  Okay.
• 13:14
  Basically, anything that doesn't have to go in the fridge.
• 13:17
  Ah, good point.
• 13:18
  You know? So...
• 13:20
  Vinegar-based.
• 13:22
  Okay.
• 13:23
  What if there is someone wants to have a refrigerated sauce?
• 13:28
  One of the teats
• 13:29
  is
• 13:30
  it has that...
• 13:34
  You know that stuff in first aid kits where you crack it and it gets cold?
• 13:36
  Yeah.
• 13:37
  It's got that on it.
• 13:39
  Oh, nice.
• 13:41
  It's a nippy teat.
• 13:48
  Yeah.
• 13:49
  Yeah.
• 13:50
  Okay.
• 13:50
  So, wait, how is it hands-free?
• 13:54
  Because it's secured to the visor.
• 13:58
  But you still have to dispense it somehow, right?
• 14:01
  it's remote control is it like a soap dispenser you like automatic you just like wave the drivers
• 14:09
  think you're like like waving them on no i'm just putting fire sauce on my taco
• 14:14
  um and so part of the thing that you don't like about taco bell is that lettuce gets everywhere
• 14:25
  because they open.
• 14:28
  So you're opening this taco to put the sauce in.
• 14:33
  How is this helping you avoid lettuce getting everywhere?
• 14:37
  Here's what happens.
• 14:38
  Here's what it is.
• 14:39
  Okay.
• 14:40
  You get your food.
• 14:43
  You pull into a spot.
• 14:45
  You sauce your tacos.
• 14:48
  Then you drive away and now you can eat them.
• 14:52
  So you're parked.
• 14:55
  you have to be part to use this so how is this better than just a sauce packet well you because
• 15:03
  if you have a sauce packet you don't it's not like you're driving you need to i can understand
• 15:08
  the not wanting to open a sauce packet while you're driving you just looked up at me with
• 15:15
  crazy eyes here's here's the truth here's the truth here's the truth okay i used to do this
• 15:22
  thing where I would get my sauce packets and I would
• 15:24
  open it and then I would
• 15:26
  take a bite of my taco and then
• 15:28
  slurp a little sauce
• 15:29
  in the same bite. Yeah.
• 15:31
  And then like I thought it was genius.
• 15:33
  And then one day I had this horrible
• 15:36
  thought realization where I was like,
• 15:37
  these people are touching these.
• 15:39
  And you're putting it in. Yeah.
• 15:41
  I'm basically sucking their fingers. Yep.
• 15:43
  And once I had that thought, I was like,
• 15:45
  no more.
• 15:47
  How much sauce can you legally give me?
• 15:50
  Is there anyone back there
• 15:51
  handling these with our feet.
• 15:54
  Please hand them to me one at a time.
• 16:00
  So okay how is this different than just keeping little squeeze squeeze bottles in your car other than it mounted to your visor that the that the main advantage is that it mounted to
• 16:15
  one's visor and um the secondary advantage is it's coming from above
• 16:25
  what if you miss and then it lands on you and but what how is coming from above
• 16:33
  or what if you're just driving and you're not eating it goes a little haywire
• 16:37
  it wouldn't do that it loves you
• 16:40
  it just wouldn't do that okay um it's been hurt before well it's this are this the technology is
• 16:52
  good. It's proprietary and strong.
• 16:57
  You should have
• 16:58
  led with that. Yeah, well, teeth don't
• 17:00
  randomly release.
• 17:03
  That's not my
• 17:04
  understanding.
• 17:06
  I think everyone should just try it before
• 17:08
  they
• 17:10
  have bad
• 17:12
  ideas about it. Everyone buy this
• 17:14
  and then you can criticize
• 17:16
  it. I think that's only fair.
• 17:19
  Let me ask you a question.
• 17:20
  do you ketchup fries when you're in the car
• 17:24
  um that was the main benefit of sucking up the ketchup okay my technique it was like fry
• 17:34
  ketchup slurp it was the perfect solution in a world where people's fingers weren't disgusting
• 17:39
  and i was like this is it um so but okay now do you have the same difficulty it's so like you know
• 17:49
  how like whataburger has like the little they don't have packets they have like a little cup
• 17:54
  with their condiments into jack-in-the-box i think maybe does the same thing maybe not with
• 18:00
  their ketchup but they do with like or you could like you could dip it or you could peel it and
• 18:03
  squirt it um yeah so but so like a little cup does that is that easy for you so one of my hands
• 18:17
  has to be on the steering wheel.
• 18:20
  Yeah, the other one's on the food.
• 18:23
  And I use that hand and I lift it to the visor.
• 18:26
  So then it automatically goes like a soap dispenser.
• 18:31
  Yeah, because...
• 18:34
  Check this out.
• 18:36
  Audience, I'm holding up a taco
• 18:38
  and I'm using my fingers
• 18:42
  to squeeze the teat
• 18:46
  as I move the taco.
• 18:49
  The taco goes
• 18:51
  right now I'm picturing the taco
• 18:53
  lips.
• 18:55
  Are you eating?
• 18:57
  You'd have to be eating
• 18:59
  the world's shortest taco.
• 19:00
  I know.
• 19:09
  No.
• 19:12
  No.
• 19:14
  It's motion
• 19:15
  sensing. Okay.
• 19:16
  there we go when the talk when the taco's near um see this is why i worry the motion sensing makes
• 19:24
  it easier to dispense for sure but then it does make me worried about like what if you just like
• 19:29
  get into the car and it senses your head you've got fire sauce all over your head
• 19:35
  um you're like not again well it doesn't work until the car started
• 19:39
  uh you get into a car accident and your head flies forward and then now you're covered in sauce
• 19:46
  Ma'am, we're sorry. We could have saved your husband, but his head was covered in too much fire sauce.
• 19:52
  Well, there will be a disclaimer on the packaging on the website.
• 19:56
  Which is, don't get into a car accident.
• 19:58
  But shit happens, okay? You're not going to sue the CD company because CDs flew all about your car.
• 20:05
  I did do that. How do you think I got my millions?
• 20:10
  I didn't know, and now I do.
• 20:13
  Maxwell, I sued them, the CD.
• 20:15
  Oh, what CD specifically was it?
• 20:18
  No, just the blank CDs
• 20:20
  Oh, of course, yeah
• 20:21
  I kept a thing of blank CDs in my car
• 20:23
  You never know when you're gonna
• 20:25
  I'm gonna wanna rip a DVD or a CD of some kind
• 20:29
  I actually, side note, I have in my car currently
• 20:33
  a whole bunch of mixed CDs that I made in high school
• 20:37
  I still have them
• 20:39
  Do you listen to them?
• 20:41
  I think when I first found them again
• 20:43
  I did listen to them and like
• 20:44
  oh yeah, I remember this CD.
• 20:47
  You know it's illegal what you've done.
• 20:50
  Yeah.
• 20:51
  That's right. That's right, coppers.
• 20:53
  Don't worry, I'm a lawyer. I'll have your
• 20:54
  record expunged. Thank you, I appreciate that.
• 20:58
  Okay, well,
• 20:59
  this...
• 21:00
  There are definitely
• 21:02
  people that will buy this.
• 21:10
  Um...
• 21:10
  I...
• 21:10
  It could be in the home, too.
• 21:12
  what would you clip it to in the house
• 21:16
  your bed frame
• 21:18
  so when you're in
• 21:20
  you know how you're in bed
• 21:22
  yeah you know how you want to eat tacos
• 21:24
  yeah
• 21:25
  I don't know how
• 21:28
  this is different than just having
• 21:30
  little squeeze bottles in your car
• 21:32
  except for the motion sensing
• 21:34
  and the proprietary
• 21:35
  what was it
• 21:37
  remote start technology
• 21:39
  yeah
• 21:39
  um um no um here's what's different you've got multiple sauces you're gonna have five jingling
• 21:51
  individual sauce packets oh where's my this one oh where's my that one guess what they're
• 21:57
  all right next to each other okay um so then are you going to taco bell and being like i'm not
• 22:02
  ordering anything today i just need to refill my taco teat anything you could buy a taco you could
• 22:09
  get on so could you just please give me like 30 fire packets my teat needs refilling they'll know
• 22:16
  what that means okay and we're gonna brand this thing with a taco bell logo oh well and actually
• 22:23
  taco bell could get out they could just sell little teats they can sell pre pre-loaded teats
• 22:29
  Can I get a Rocco's Modern Life?
• 22:34
  Oh, man.
• 22:35
  See?
• 22:37
  Yep.
• 22:38
  Yes, we do see.
• 22:40
  So we love it.
• 22:42
  Great.
• 22:45
  How many teats per thing?
• 22:49
  Four.
• 22:50
  Four?
• 22:51
  Okay.
• 22:52
  I feel like ranch would be, does ranch need to be refrigerated?
• 22:55
  It does.
• 22:56
  Yeah.
• 22:56
  That would be a big one, though.
• 22:57
  I think people would want ranch.
• 22:59
  well you know you can do you can go to talk you can go to taco bell and you can be like
• 23:02
  uh can i get the tea pack and they'll give you the food and instead of giving you sauces they'll
• 23:09
  just give you this thing for a nominal charge actually does ranch because now i'm thinking
• 23:14
  about it i've definitely gotten one of those like little ranch cups from um jack in the box before
• 23:20
  and they're warm they're not they're not refrigerated some of them could be shell
• 23:25
  stable depending on how many
• 23:27
  chemicals they pump into it. Exactly. Just make
• 23:29
  sure that you pick the ranch with
• 23:31
  the most chemicals when you buy our... Okay.
• 23:34
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:35
  Just enough to keep it preserved.
• 23:38
  Not enough chemicals to
• 23:39
  deteriorate the teat.
• 23:45
  Yes. God, I hope your secret
• 23:47
  word isn't teat. I'm screwed.
• 23:50
  That would be amazing.
• 23:51
  um
• 23:54
  all right well what do we call it this bad boy
• 23:57
  I mean taco teat sounds pretty good
• 24:00
  taco teat is great
• 24:01
  taco teat stay
• 24:03
  I also thought of
• 24:04
  that was real stupid
• 24:11
  write it down
• 24:12
  rain
• 24:15
  teat snow or hail
• 24:17
  do you say rain teats
• 24:18
  rain teat snow or hail
• 24:20
  you know like rain sleet snow or hill oh i don't know i'm not familiar with that sorry i reacted
• 24:25
  the post office motto or whatever isn't it yeah neither rain nor sleet nor yeah oh i thought
• 24:33
  their motto was we sell stamps that too i mean more than one motto yeah we sell stamps
• 24:42
  utterly
• 24:51
  I was thinking utter too
• 24:52
  utter
• 24:52
  delicious
• 24:54
  saucy
• 24:56
  udders
• 24:58
  saucy udders
• 24:59
  I
• 25:04
  I think
• 25:06
  taco teats is
• 25:07
  the clear winner though
• 25:08
  yeah
• 25:09
  unless you like
• 25:10
  yeah it's good
• 25:11
  Why are we reopening the clams?
• 25:15
  It's fun.
• 25:17
  It's fun to think about what it could have been.
• 25:19
  You know, I used to know someone who used to say this.
• 25:22
  When anyone said, it is what it is, she would say, but it should be what it could be.
• 25:30
  Isn't that nice?
• 25:31
  Hmm.
• 25:35
  Let it should be what it could be.
• 25:37
  Is it nice?
• 25:38
  Did you say let it?
• 25:39
  Wait, is that what you said?
• 25:40
  No, no, no.
• 25:41
  Here, I'll do it again.
• 25:42
  I'll be both people.
• 25:43
  Okay, sorry.
• 25:43
  I'll be both people.
• 25:43
  I only was half paying attention to your friend.
• 25:45
  It is what it is.
• 25:47
  But it should be what it could be.
• 25:51
  I'm going to change my life.
• 25:53
  Mine's already changed.
• 25:55
  Since I bought the taco teat, or what was it?
• 25:58
  Yeah, taco teats.
• 25:58
  Taco teats day.
• 25:59
  Taco teats day.
• 26:01
  Teat Tuesday.
• 26:05
  Great.
• 26:05
  Well, these will be in every car, I'm pretty sure.
• 26:09
  They'll be in mine.
• 26:11
  They will come preloaded.
• 26:13
  It'll be a feature.
• 26:14
  What about mounted hands that feed you the food?
• 26:19
  If you buy In-N-Out and you get a burger, you can put the burger in the hands.
• 26:22
  You just lean forward.
• 26:24
  You have a thing on your steering wheel and you push it and it brings it forward and you take a bite.
• 26:29
  Could we maybe do a tie-in with me's or hands here?
• 26:32
  I was going to say, and then they give you a haircut.
• 26:35
  Know how when you're driving and you're trying to get a haircut and your hair gets everywhere?
• 26:39
  Your partner gets mad at you.
• 26:40
  I mean I would buy that
• 26:43
  I don't want to be seen using it but I'd buy it
• 26:45
  Can you imagine just driving
• 26:47
  and then you just see like hands coming
• 26:49
  to it
• 26:49
  Well everyone will have one so it won't be weird
• 26:52
  That's true if everyone's doing it it's not weird
• 26:54
  Oh and then you'll get less road rage and traffic
• 26:56
  because then you can like look in and see people getting haircuts
• 26:59
  You're in traffic
• 27:00
  I'm healed from that now
• 27:02
  Yeah you're welcome
• 27:03
  See
• 27:04
  Someone turned you know when they're at a light
• 27:06
  and you're driving and it's your green light
• 27:08
  and then they like speed out in front of you on the turn this happened to me like i almost hit
• 27:13
  him i had to like hit the brake but instead of being angry i just went oh why'd you do that
• 27:21
  and that was the end of it i do often think about your strategy francis once told me
• 27:25
  that um if someone's going really slow in front of you and you're stuck and behind them
• 27:29
  that just imagine that they're transporting a cake yeah yeah that they like have to go slow
• 27:36
  so it doesn't fly.
• 27:36
  Especially at a turn
• 27:37
  where you're like,
• 27:38
  what are you doing?
• 27:39
  Where it's like,
• 27:39
  you don't have to come
• 27:40
  to a complete stop
• 27:41
  to turn right.
• 27:42
  Unless it's your grandma's birthday.
• 27:45
  Yep.
• 27:45
  And then,
• 27:46
  so I think about that.
• 27:47
  It doesn't usually help
• 27:48
  mitigate the anger,
• 27:49
  but I do think about it
• 27:50
  for whatever it's worth.
• 27:51
  Well, that's the first step.
• 27:53
  Thanks.
• 27:53
  Yeah.
• 27:54
  Admitting you think about it.
• 27:55
  Admitting that I think about it.
• 27:56
  Yep.
• 27:57
  Okay.
• 27:58
  Well,
• 27:59
  Taco Teets,
• 28:00
  Taco Teets Day.
• 28:02
  Smashing success.
• 28:03
  Yep.
• 28:03
  And go to
• 28:04
  veryfinefriends.com
• 28:06
  and
• 28:07
  buy one.
• 28:09
  Buy two.
• 28:11
  Stay.
• 28:12
  Oh.
• 28:13
  Discount.
• 28:14
  You buy them on Tuesday as well.
• 28:16
  Yep.
• 28:17
  But if you want to buy them
• 28:18
  on any other day of the week,
• 28:19
  we'll give you the discount.
• 28:20
  Like,
• 28:20
  we just want you to buy it.
• 28:22
  Stop giving them away,
• 28:23
  Francis.
• 28:24
  We love these people.
• 28:25
  I know,
• 28:26
  we do love you.
• 28:26
  They keep our lights on.
• 28:27
  You're just throwing your teats
• 28:29
  all over town,
• 28:29
  aren't you?
• 28:30
  Yep.
• 28:31
  Uh,
• 28:32
  well,
• 28:33
  I think that wraps up a very successful invention of the week.
• 28:41
  Hooray, y'all.
• 28:43
  Just maybe stop putting things on the mic.
• 28:46
  I'm sorry.
• 28:46
  Random objects.
• 28:49
  I apologize to everyone who loves me.
• 28:54
  Now go swim in a lake.
• 28:57
  All right.
• 28:58
  Well, it's time for our next segment.
• 29:00
  take me to prompt
• 29:04
  oh hey there betsy do you want to go to the prompt with me
• 29:13
  francis you want to explain this yes i do thank you here's how it works our producer
• 29:23
  whose name is Joe
• 29:24
  will be providing
• 29:27
  Jenna and myself with
• 29:28
  prompts
• 29:30
  to which we have to come up with responses.
• 29:33
  Okay? You'll see how this works in just a moment
• 29:35
  when he gives the first one.
• 29:37
  Anyway, it'll be Joe's
• 29:39
  job to decide, based on his laughter,
• 29:42
  which
• 29:43
  of us provides the
• 29:45
  best response.
• 29:48
  And it's anyone's game.
• 29:50
  Yep, that's right.
• 29:51
  it's anyone's game
• 29:54
  it's a deadly game
• 29:56
  Joe's laughter is the prize
• 29:58
  okay
• 29:59
  I thought I did a pretty good job
• 30:02
  explaining that but
• 30:03
  I guess you needed to
• 30:05
  I needed to give my own
• 30:06
  hey get used to it kid
• 30:08
  we're about to play this game
• 30:09
  I know
• 30:10
  I like Jenna's explanation better
• 30:12
  okay
• 30:12
  oh nice
• 30:13
  vote for the overachiever
• 30:14
  that's nice
• 30:14
  thank you so much
• 30:15
  I was an overachiever
• 30:16
  I said way less than you
• 30:17
  I just called it a deadly game
• 30:20
  okay okay so okay i got points
• 30:25
  okay i have 12 questions for you oh jenna look at me you're dead
• 30:32
  i told you this is a deadly game i know i'm in it now i'm locked in i'm pissed off
• 30:37
  if you were the last person on earth what's the first thing you would do
• 30:44
  i was the last person on earth was the first thing i would what you keep going what's the
• 30:49
  first thing you would do the first thing i would i'll go first yeah okay anyone go yeah okay i'll
• 30:59
  go i would and i know this is the truth i would run out into the street screaming
• 31:05
  the hills are alive with the sound of music just feel like that's something i would do
• 31:10
  i would um
• 31:19
  get into like find a steal.
• 31:22
  Well,
• 31:22
  I guess stealing is irrelevant at this point.
• 31:24
  I would take a very fast car and I would go drive around and find cool shit
• 31:32
  and then take it for myself.
• 31:37
  I would steal.
• 31:39
  It's not stealing anymore.
• 31:41
  It's just taking.
• 31:41
  I know.
• 31:42
  It's just having.
• 31:43
  It's holding.
• 31:44
  Yeah.
• 31:46
  That's what I would do.
• 31:48
  I would.
• 31:49
  go outside wearing pants and a belt,
• 31:54
  and I would do this really funny thing I invented
• 31:56
  where if you take your belt off fast enough,
• 31:59
  you spank yourself.
• 32:02
  Do you need to be the last person on earth to do this?
• 32:05
  I don't want anyone else to see this.
• 32:06
  You invented it You clearly done it before Yeah I had to wait till no one home So just being alone also okay
• 32:19
  I would go to everyone's closet in the neighborhood.
• 32:26
  I'd take all their clothes.
• 32:28
  I would sew them together into a giant parachute quilt.
• 32:33
  And then I'd jump off a building using everyone's clothes.
• 32:36
  even though parachutes are available
• 32:39
  oh yeah
• 32:41
  but not of all my neighbors clothes
• 32:44
  they're not
• 32:45
  available like that kind of
• 32:47
  you find me
• 32:49
  a parachute
• 32:51
  that has Roger's pants
• 32:54
  and
• 32:55
  and Anita's dress
• 32:57
  and
• 32:59
  stitched into it good luck
• 33:01
  you're not going to find that parachute unless everyone's dead
• 33:03
  well I hope
• 33:05
  for your sake that happens
• 33:07
  thank you
• 33:09
  Joe I'm gonna go
• 33:11
  I'm gonna give one point to
• 33:13
  Francis on that one you liked my belt
• 33:15
  I did
• 33:16
  okay I've just
• 33:19
  given you a thousand dollars but you have
• 33:21
  to spend it within the next 24 hours
• 33:23
  how do you spend it
• 33:24
  I would
• 33:34
  find a child that understands the concept of money
• 33:41
  and i would say this thousand dollars is yours
• 33:47
  if you do a series of pranks but you don't get the money if you tell people that i paid you to
• 33:57
  prank so i would get a child to be rambunctious what are the pranks um uh
• 34:06
  they one of them would be um stealing your parents car and driving it around the block
• 34:13
  and if you hit something you don't get the money
• 34:16
  uh help me catfish your teacher
• 34:25
  and creating a giant
• 34:37
  slip and slide inside
• 34:39
  the school hallway, main
• 34:41
  hallway.
• 34:43
  If you break your hip, you don't get the money.
• 34:46
  And then running
• 34:47
  a gambling ring
• 34:48
  to see which kid slips
• 34:51
  the farthest, can go the farthest
• 34:53
  distance down the hall.
• 34:55
  and I get to keep any profits from the gambling ring,
• 34:59
  but they get the $1,000 still at the end.
• 35:01
  So this is a real rat race situation you got going on.
• 35:04
  Kind of.
• 35:05
  Yeah, that's nice.
• 35:06
  Yeah.
• 35:07
  What'd you do?
• 35:09
  I would find
• 35:12
  a hundred jovial senior citizens,
• 35:19
  put them in a van I rented with some of the money,
• 35:22
  drive them to Tucson to visit the last Sweet Tomatoes,
• 35:25
  and pay for all of them to have a meal before straining them in Tucson.
• 35:32
  Okay.
• 35:33
  How much does this van cost?
• 35:35
  It's a rental.
• 35:36
  I know, but how much?
• 35:37
  Okay, so $1,000.
• 35:38
  So let's say.
• 35:39
  It's $65 a day.
• 35:41
  I only have it one day.
• 35:42
  Okay.
• 35:43
  But you're paying for 100 people to have a meal.
• 35:45
  At Sweet Tomatoes, it's a sub $10 meal.
• 35:49
  Yeah, the max meal that they can have is.
• 35:51
  Well, and that's not even accounting the van expense.
• 35:54
  It's like $9 a meal.
• 35:55
  Yeah.
• 35:55
  Okay.
• 35:56
  What are you saying?
• 35:56
  I haven't spent it all?
• 35:58
  Wait, also, this is a hundred passenger van.
• 36:03
  Old people don't care about safety rules.
• 36:04
  They'll sit on each other and do.
• 36:07
  And then they won't be able to get up because they're old.
• 36:09
  I'll help them.
• 36:10
  Oh, okay.
• 36:11
  I'll have a nice lunch.
• 36:14
  And then I'll say...
• 36:14
  And then you abandon them at sweet tomatoes.
• 36:17
  I'll say, why did you come with me?
• 36:19
  You don't know me.
• 36:22
  Let this be a lesson to you.
• 36:24
  Yeah.
• 36:25
  If I can sweeten the deal for you, Joe,
• 36:26
  one of the old people I forced to stay in the van
• 36:29
  while we all ate.
• 36:32
  And that person thought they got screwed.
• 36:34
  Little did they know.
• 36:35
  They're going home.
• 36:36
  I brought some food with me out of sweet tomatoes.
• 36:39
  They get to eat in the car.
• 36:40
  They're in there with the taco teat.
• 36:43
  It's all mine.
• 36:45
  Teat tomatoes.
• 36:46
  Yeah.
• 36:47
  Hey, we should go to them.
• 36:47
  Sweet teats.
• 36:50
  Damn it.
• 36:52
  Okay.
• 36:52
  I'm going to give a point to Jenna on that one.
• 36:54
  Hers was a little bit more whimsical, I think.
• 36:56
  You want whimsy? Okay.
• 36:58
  How would you win in a fight against a T-Rex?
• 37:03
  Go ahead. You go first this time.
• 37:05
  Okay. Well, I would attack its insecurities and immediately make fun of the arms.
• 37:17
  And to the point where it cried.
• 37:19
  And, you know, obviously its arms couldn't reach its eyes to, like, wipe the tears.
• 37:23
  so that would reinforce my point
• 37:24
  and I would be like
• 37:27
  I don't even want to fight you
• 37:28
  you're so physiologically
• 37:30
  devolved
• 37:33
  and
• 37:34
  it would go home and
• 37:36
  his parents would give it permission to
• 37:39
  hit me because I was a bully
• 37:40
  but when it saw me again I would
• 37:43
  be like
• 37:44
  arms you're back
• 37:46
  and the cycle would start all over again
• 37:51
  and
• 37:53
  That is shockingly close to what I was going to say.
• 37:58
  I'll say you both get a point on that one.
• 38:01
  Oh, okay.
• 38:05
  Which famous singer would you commit a felony with?
• 38:09
  With?
• 38:15
  Shania Twain.
• 38:16
  because
• 38:19
  I'd want her
• 38:22
  she seemed sassy
• 38:23
  and I'd want her
• 38:25
  I'd want to impress her much
• 38:27
  you want her to sing
• 38:30
  man I feel like a woman
• 38:31
  while you commit the felony
• 38:32
  that's nice
• 38:36
  yeah
• 38:37
  Shia if you're listening
• 38:38
  we know who you are
• 38:40
  hit me up
• 38:41
  baby
• 38:42
  we'll do some crime
• 38:45
  That'd be cool if she had a song called
• 38:48
  We'll Do Some Crime because that would have been like the perfect
• 38:50
  Yeah
• 38:51
  What if she comes out with one now because she was listening
• 38:54
  And she's like that's such a good song idea
• 38:55
  I guess we'll do some crime
• 38:57
  Oh Shania
• 38:58
  You shouldn't have
• 39:00
  She's like I didn't
• 39:03
  I would choose
• 39:06
  Faith Hill because she's very talented
• 39:10
  And doesn't really
• 39:12
  Do anything anymore
• 39:13
  I feel like she needs to get out of the house
• 39:15
  okay sorry keep going okay thank you
• 39:18
  anyway she also has a song with her husband called let's make love
• 39:23
  and i thought it'd be funny while we were coming to crime i kept looking to her and saying that
• 39:26
  as a joke until the point where it got annoying i'd be like hey i have an idea and she'd be like
• 39:32
  don't and i'm like let's make love and she's like it's getting weird
• 39:37
  she strikes me as very boring
• 39:44
  Faith Hill
• 39:45
  just because you don't know her
• 39:47
  I think all the puns we could do with her songs
• 39:50
  or just repeating their titles to her face
• 39:51
  I don't know any of her songs
• 39:53
  hey Faith how do you feel about this kiss
• 39:55
  oh that's her
• 39:56
  yeah
• 39:57
  she's the only person to ever get the word centrifugal
• 40:02
  motion into a song
• 40:03
  and everyone just accepted it
• 40:05
  is that true
• 40:07
  I wouldn't lie
• 40:08
  well I also don't care about Faith Hill
• 40:11
  so that's another point too Jenna
• 40:13
  in your opinion
• 40:15
  what's really going on over
• 40:17
  in the Bermuda Triangle
• 40:19
  that's where the sheen factory is
• 40:23
  and there's a lot of
• 40:26
  children
• 40:27
  floating
• 40:28
  on wood while they
• 40:32
  sell that's why clothes are wet
• 40:33
  wait so
• 40:36
  you think it's just an area with no parental supervision that's just loaded with kindling
• 40:43
  that's your just picturing tons of wood only kids lord of the flies kind of situation no no
• 40:53
  they're working they they can't get into social class discussions they're busy do they have
• 41:00
  i'm picturing them now like do they have like a little song that they sing hi ho
• 41:05
  like the dwarves
• 41:07
  no because that
• 41:08
  distracts from sewing
• 41:09
  oh
• 41:11
  and increases the
• 41:12
  risk that their
• 41:12
  fingers will be
• 41:13
  struck with a needle
• 41:14
  which attracts
• 41:16
  sharks in the
• 41:17
  Bermuda Triangle
• 41:17
  and for the lady
• 41:21
  I think that's
• 41:24
  where Santa really
• 41:25
  lives
• 41:25
  I'm gonna say
• 41:33
  John again
• 41:34
  love a nice quick one-liner
• 41:37
  or when she just says the exact same thing I said
• 41:41
  you love that too
• 41:42
  hey
• 41:47
  don't judge the judge
• 41:49
  yeah
• 41:50
  good I like that I like sayings
• 41:53
  I control the points here Francis
• 41:54
  when the jetpack is invented
• 41:59
  what will it be most useful for
• 42:01
  in your opinion
• 42:02
  um hovering to second floor windows and watching people change when they don't know you're there
• 42:13
  all uh like a 70s comedy that's what i would have said
• 42:17
  when the jetpack is invented what will it be most useful for will be most useful or used
• 42:27
  well I mean
• 42:30
  this is like quiplash like I'm giving you a
• 42:33
  semi serious question
• 42:34
  but I'm not expecting you to answer it
• 42:37
  seriously
• 42:37
  I'm actually asking clarification
• 42:41
  how will people
• 42:42
  actually use it versus how would it
• 42:45
  technically be most useful
• 42:46
  I was viewing
• 42:49
  it as
• 42:49
  what funny
• 42:53
  thing would you find it most useful
• 42:54
  okay
• 42:55
  Okay.
• 42:58
  Singeing off the eyebrows of the people behind you that were seeing you off.
• 43:06
  That's Francis.
• 43:07
  We're back, baby.
• 43:11
  Is it ever okay for two snowmen to fall in love?
• 43:19
  No.
• 43:22
  I meant snow.
• 43:25
  yes but only if they use they move their carrots from their nose to make them penises and then the
• 43:37
  tips touch i just want to clarify you heard me say snow no i did jenna's answer is more tolerant
• 43:48
  and I'm giving a point to her.
• 43:51
  That's nice.
• 43:53
  Have a good life, snowman.
• 43:56
  Good luck getting in the kingdom of heaven.
• 44:02
  What's your secret superpower
• 44:04
  that you haven't told anyone about until just now?
• 44:07
  um i can make people's clothing fly off their bodies at will um at my will to embarrass them
• 44:24
  and you guys have never experienced that because i've never wanted to embarrass you i'm
• 44:31
  magnanimous that way thank you
• 44:33
  I can make my
• 44:40
  boobs inflate really fast
• 44:43
  and pop like bubble gum and then go back to normal
• 44:45
  so you blow a bubble with your chest
• 44:58
  back to normal
• 45:00
  yeah
• 45:01
  alright
• 45:03
  it's a point for Francis
• 45:04
  why did you buy
• 45:07
  all the toilet paper
• 45:08
  from the CVS
• 45:09
  why would I
• 45:13
  why did you
• 45:14
  why did I buy
• 45:16
  all the toilet paper
• 45:17
  from the CVS
• 45:17
  yeah
• 45:17
  I'm the manager
• 45:19
  and I wanted to know
• 45:20
  is this my turn
• 45:21
  to start
• 45:22
  I don't know
• 45:23
  if you heard
• 45:24
  but taco teats
• 45:25
  just came out
• 45:26
  so
• 45:29
  it's all Taco Bell related
• 45:30
  you're just shitting a lot
• 45:33
  okay
• 45:34
  don't minimize this
• 45:36
  no
• 45:39
  man they're really coming for us today
• 45:43
  those sirens
• 45:44
  well Mr. Manager
• 45:49
  it's just manager
• 45:54
  I
• 45:57
  I am creating a life-size paper mache, Jimmy Carter, doing Habitat for Humanity.
• 46:14
  And it's all made out of toilet paper, paper mache.
• 46:18
  And I just needed it all.
• 46:20
  It's a tribute to Jimmy Carter and Habitats for Humanity.
• 46:25
  Oh, really quick.
• 46:26
  I just wanted to
• 46:27
  one quick thought
• 46:29
  I'm going in white face
• 46:32
  so I'm wrapping myself in
• 46:36
  millions of
• 46:37
  rolls of toilet paper because when someone's like
• 46:40
  he's in white face I can be like no I'm not
• 46:42
  and I literally could never unroll it
• 46:44
  because there's so much
• 46:45
  wait white face?
• 46:50
  yeah where you pretend to be white
• 46:51
  no one will ever guess
• 46:54
  that you're not really white.
• 46:58
  Yeah.
• 46:59
  Okay.
• 47:01
  It's a point for Francis.
• 47:03
  What?
• 47:04
  Hey, I didn't challenge you.
• 47:06
  Yeah, I did.
• 47:07
  Yeah, you did.
• 47:09
  Okay.
• 47:10
  Thanks.
• 47:13
  All right.
• 47:14
  We got two final questions.
• 47:15
  Which occupation should be discontinued right now?
• 47:24
  wait i go first on this one
• 47:27
  doctor
• 47:35
  let everyone i think we'd all have a like a way more of an appreciation
• 47:41
  for our lives if there were no doctors also it'd be kind of fun if we just like
• 47:45
  someone got hurt and we're like all right i guess i'm the closest one to them i'm gonna do
• 47:49
  this surgery then so no one's professionally trained that's what happened i think that's
• 47:54
  I'm here.
• 47:56
  Where do you think first responder comes from?
• 47:58
  It's whoever's the first person there.
• 48:00
  I'll put my thumb in the gun hole.
• 48:03
  Yep.
• 48:05
  Yeah.
• 48:06
  I see why you
• 48:08
  went there. Yeah, thank you.
• 48:11
  I'm gonna say
• 48:12
  mechanic Oh your car broken now you gotta buy a new car
• 48:26
  mechanic's kind of like a doctor for the car
• 48:31
  what are you saying that i stole your idea yeah
• 48:34
  i made it less good oh you got a gunshot wound well now you gotta go buy a new body
• 48:42
  okay i guess i see your point
• 48:45
  you must really see her point because i just gave her one
• 48:50
  i'm taking it gracefully
• 48:53
  last question wait a minute i'm taking it gracefully and then you bring out the
• 49:00
  i already mentally committed to air horns okay okay you can't un air horn an air horn that's not
• 49:08
  true there's a can for that sucks in the horn there's no unairing that horn yeah
• 49:14
  all right final question final question unless you guys tie in which case i feel like i should
• 49:21
  have a tie i do have a tiebreaker question okay all right kids are in our future what is
• 49:27
  kids aren't in your future kids aren't our future what is
• 49:32
  kids kids grandkids yeah that's it that's the answer little ones are the little ones
• 49:48
  fast food joints in space malls in space
• 50:00
  drive-in movies in space you and i in space space were we recording when i came up with that song
• 50:10
  about us driving around in space and being pulled over by aliens or no no okay well that could be in
• 50:18
  space too wait what is that song i don't think i heard that didn't rhyme when i said it didn't
• 50:22
  have to rhyme because it was in space was i here for this yeah why when did this happen it was
• 50:29
  before we started apparently.
• 50:31
  Was it when we were talking about Dimarsh?
• 50:34
  Yes, because that's how I got there.
• 50:36
  Oh, okay.
• 50:37
  Yeah.
• 50:38
  You sing a lot.
• 50:40
  Yeah.
• 50:41
  I can't remember all of them.
• 50:42
  That's okay.
• 50:43
  Sing it again, Francis.
• 50:44
  It's gone.
• 50:45
  It was a whim.
• 50:46
  Oh, no.
• 50:47
  You should record them.
• 50:48
  Okay.
• 50:49
  I'm going space is the future.
• 50:51
  It's a point for Francis.
• 50:54
  Oh.
• 50:55
  All right.
• 50:56
  Tied.
• 50:57
  Are we tied?
• 50:58
  Tied at six points each.
• 51:00
  So quick tiebreaker question.
• 51:01
  See?
• 51:02
  You can put the air horn back in the can.
• 51:06
  No.
• 51:07
  Bring it back.
• 51:08
  Okay.
• 51:08
  Tiebreaker.
• 51:09
  Tiebreaker question.
• 51:11
  I want gut reactions, fast answers.
• 51:14
  At the same time?
• 51:15
  Doesn't have to be.
• 51:16
  Okay.
• 51:17
  But don't think about it too hard.
• 51:19
  Okay.
• 51:20
  This is when I accidentally commit a crime or say a crime I did.
• 51:23
  well knowing you it'll be a crime that someone committed against you
• 51:29
  that you've repressed until now
• 51:31
  true I can't control that
• 51:33
  sorry if I start crying
• 51:34
  final tiebreaker question
• 51:38
  okay
• 51:38
  what's your favorite thing about yourself
• 51:42
  brain
• 51:44
  brain
• 51:46
  brain
• 51:48
  well
• 51:53
  I have access to Francis's brain.
• 51:56
  That's my favorite thing about
• 51:57
  myself.
• 52:00
  That was really sweet.
• 52:02
  I'm going to give Jenna the...
• 52:03
  It better be true
• 52:05
  if I lost over that.
• 52:08
  Wow.
• 52:10
  Oh, well.
• 52:11
  See? Nice guys sometimes do
• 52:13
  finish first. Wow. I never
• 52:15
  thought I'd be the nice guy in this scenario.
• 52:18
  Finishing first, no less.
• 52:19
  Oh. Well.
• 52:21
  that has been take me to prompt wow i can't believe i fell in love at the prompt
• 52:30
  we have one final segment that is the big question the question is very big guess what everybody
• 52:43
  we have a listener submitted big question if you listening at home would like to submit a question
• 52:52
  for us to answer on the pod just email us your question at very fine friends at gmail.com
• 53:00
  and we will read your question on the air and we will try to answer it and we will succeed in
• 53:06
  answering it and we're gonna talk like this the whole time the whole time this was part of the
• 53:12
  question it was like do this voice when you read it okay the big question what up my vffs
• 53:21
  if you could wake up tomorrow being fluent in any skill set or language of your choice
• 53:29
  automatically no effort on your part you'd be the best at whatever field you choose
• 53:36
  what would you wake up knowing how to do
• 53:42
  This is from Mary.
• 53:44
  Thank you, Mary, for that suggestion.
• 53:45
  Thanks, Mary.
• 53:47
  Big hug from us on the pod.
• 53:51
  That sounded like a strained hug.
• 53:53
  I hug hard.
• 53:55
  Yeah.
• 53:56
  You hug hard.
• 53:57
  You hug fast.
• 54:00
  That was Francis's teats exploding on the hug.
• 54:02
  They're back to normal.
• 54:03
  There they are.
• 54:06
  So, any skill or language.
• 54:12
  Well, I guess, yeah.
• 54:14
  And then you'd be best at whatever field you choose.
• 54:18
  What would you choose?
• 54:19
  God, I love these questions, and I wish they were real.
• 54:23
  I would choose, like, stockbroking.
• 54:30
  Like, if you were so good, you could always predict, like, what was going to go up, what was going to go down, like, what was coming, but you were always accurate.
• 54:39
  Yeah.
• 54:39
  I feel like that would be, like, amazing.
• 54:41
  Yeah.
• 54:42
  oh sorry
• 54:46
  no no Joe please
• 54:48
  were you going to add more onto the stockbroker thing
• 54:51
  yeah I was just going to say you would probably
• 54:53
  eventually be flagged
• 54:55
  as some kind of
• 54:57
  like
• 54:58
  you know like in casinos like if you win too much
• 55:01
  they kick you out
• 55:02
  tough titties
• 55:03
  tough taco titties
• 55:06
  you can't throw me out
• 55:07
  I work here
• 55:10
  do you think they can throw me out Joe
• 55:17
  that's my
• 55:19
  you're not mad when I'm wrong
• 55:20
  from Wall Street where are you being thrown out of
• 55:23
  well like Jenna's saying I get flagged
• 55:25
  who's going to flag me
• 55:26
  sorry I'm so good
• 55:28
  the SEC
• 55:28
  you would be assumed to have
• 55:32
  insider information
• 55:34
  but people who actually have insider information get away with it all the time
• 55:37
  I was going to say you could just join
• 55:38
  Congress. You could just join the House of Representatives.
• 55:42
  Looking at you.
• 55:44
  I would never kill myself.
• 55:50
  I feel like language
• 55:52
  is kind of a waste. Yeah, I think
• 55:54
  language is a waste. Which is not
• 55:56
  to say that learning language isn't important,
• 55:58
  but I feel like it's easier than learning a whole skill set.
• 56:01
  Now, if you could say
• 56:02
  we'd be fluent
• 56:04
  in every language.
• 56:06
  That's a game changer.
• 56:07
  that's a game changer
• 56:09
  is it though?
• 56:11
  what am I going to do with it?
• 56:11
  you can go anywhere
• 56:14
  you can find work
• 56:17
  anywhere you go
• 56:18
  you could be an ambassador
• 56:21
  for
• 56:22
  untouched nations
• 56:24
  you could
• 56:25
  untouched nations
• 56:29
  I don't know why
• 56:31
  that better not me
• 56:33
  we'll see
• 56:37
  I feel like
• 56:42
  you'll be flagged by the EU
• 56:43
  too much
• 56:48
  excuse me ma'am have you been touching
• 56:50
  some nations
• 56:51
  I just feel like if you were speaking every language
• 56:54
  in every dialect some country's
• 56:56
  government would be like this is clearly an agent
• 56:58
  of someone
• 56:59
  you just want me to be flagged for something
• 57:02
  you flagged me
• 57:03
  no the SEC flagged you
• 57:06
  who tipped him off
• 57:08
  me
• 57:10
  well I see how that's my fault
• 57:13
  now I get it
• 57:13
  I think
• 57:14
  I think I would probably choose
• 57:19
  being
• 57:20
  the best
• 57:22
  actor in the world
• 57:24
  I think that would be a useful skill
• 57:27
  you want to remove subjectivity
• 57:28
  yeah
• 57:29
  I didn't remove it the question removed it
• 57:32
  you are
• 57:33
  you wake up
• 57:36
  and you are the best in your field.
• 57:39
  But I think being the best actor would be fun.
• 57:43
  Everyone would always want you to have your pick
• 57:45
  of any kind of cool projects,
• 57:48
  but also you'd probably be a really good liar.
• 57:50
  Do you think you'd get bored getting it for free,
• 57:53
  like having everything be easy?
• 57:55
  No.
• 57:56
  Me neither.
• 57:56
  No.
• 57:58
  My only boredom would come from the parts
• 58:02
  that people wrote, right?
• 58:06
  But I think if people knew like,
• 58:08
  oh, Jenna could definitely pull this off,
• 58:10
  they would write some really interesting things for you.
• 58:15
  I feel like I would want to be really good at farming.
• 58:20
  Agriculture.
• 58:22
  You're the best farmer.
• 58:25
  You could be a farmer in those clothes.
• 58:28
  You could probably invent a new vegetable.
• 58:30
  Probably.
• 58:32
  We don't need it.
• 58:32
  And perhaps even a sauce form of said vegetable from which a teat could dispense.
• 58:41
  I don't know.
• 58:42
  It seems like the most practical.
• 58:44
  Like the first thing I thought when you said be the best stockbroker is like, okay, well, what happens if like there's no more stock market theoretically in some world?
• 58:54
  I've already got my millions.
• 58:55
  and I turn it into gold.
• 58:58
  Your millions of
• 58:59
  US dollars that will
• 59:01
  probably also be gone in that scenario.
• 59:04
  Oh, I'm converting them to gold.
• 59:05
  Oh, okay.
• 59:08
  But your farm idea
• 59:09
  sounds nice. Thank you.
• 59:11
  I was just thinking if
• 59:13
  you needed me to write a movie for you, I would
• 59:15
  write one called Juby. Oh, thank
• 59:17
  you. Yeah. Could you do that
• 59:19
  anyway? Yes. Okay.
• 59:21
  Thanks.
• 59:22
  Well, I think these are all good answers
• 59:27
  If we all do it together
• 59:29
  We'll be unstoppable
• 59:31
  Yeah, we got food, money
• 59:33
  Listeners, do you need an actor, a broker, a farmer?
• 59:38
  Yeah
• 59:38
  That was like the end of The Breakfast Club
• 59:39
  Oh, that's good
• 59:41
  I was going to go outside and just be like
• 59:42
  The hills are alive
• 59:44
  And then slap yourself with your own belt
• 59:48
  Try it sometime
• 59:49
  You will like it
• 59:50
  Why you gotta wait for everyone on earth to be dead?
• 59:53
  You're right.
• 59:53
  I should just be me.
• 59:54
  Yeah.
• 59:56
  Okay.
• 59:57
  Well, thank you.
• 59:59
  Mary was it?
• 1:00:00
  Mary, yes.
• 1:00:02
  Thank you for submitting that.
• 1:00:04
  And again, if you would like to submit a big question, you can email veryfinefriends at gmail.com.
• 1:00:10
  or you can feel free to DM us on social media
• 1:00:19
  at veryfinefriends on all platforms.
• 1:00:21
  Also, drop us a line if you have an idea for a new vegetable.
• 1:00:25
  Yeah.
• 1:00:25
  What would you...
• 1:00:27
  What hybrid vegetable?
• 1:00:28
  Or would it be brand new?
• 1:00:29
  Ooh, coming up with something totally new.
• 1:00:32
  That's tough.
• 1:00:34
  That's interesting.
• 1:00:34
  What about a tomato and a...
• 1:00:36
  You know what we'll talk about later.
• 1:00:37
  Again, yeah.
• 1:00:37
  Yeah.
• 1:00:39
  Save it for off pod.
• 1:00:40
  You're right.
• 1:00:41
  All right.
• 1:00:42
  That wraps up the big question.
• 1:00:44
  The big question.
• 1:00:45
  We have one final bit of business here.
• 1:00:49
  The little question.
• 1:00:52
  Secret words.
• 1:00:54
  Oh, boy.
• 1:00:55
  Did you say yours?
• 1:00:55
  I did.
• 1:00:56
  I said mine.
• 1:00:57
  Okay.
• 1:00:58
  All right.
• 1:00:58
  Oh, this is making me have to pee.
• 1:01:00
  Oh.
• 1:01:02
  Say your words quickly.
• 1:01:03
  Don't pee just yet.
• 1:01:04
  Don't pressure.
• 1:01:05
  We like to go in slow with a little foreplay.
• 1:01:10
  Jenna.
• 1:01:10
  Yeah.
• 1:01:11
  Was your word parachute?
• 1:01:16
  No.
• 1:01:17
  Was it kindling?
• 1:01:20
  That was my decoy world!
• 1:01:22
  No!
• 1:01:23
  Oh, I'm pissed.
• 1:01:26
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:28
  Funchicles.
• 1:01:29
  Was your word magnanimous?
• 1:01:31
  Nope.
• 1:01:31
  Was it untouched?
• 1:01:33
  No.
• 1:01:34
  I'm out.
• 1:01:35
  Dang you!
• 1:01:36
  Oh.
• 1:01:37
  Oh, that brain of hers in action.
• 1:01:39
  Oh.
• 1:01:40
  nope no no kindling was my decoy word and i said my real word right before kindling
• 1:01:47
  said it in the say i said a package deal all of them my real word was parental
• 1:01:54
  because you were talking about kids and wood floating and i was like careful
• 1:02:00
  yeah let's go back and listen everyone check the tapes it's clean people you were talking about
• 1:02:09
  the bermuda triangle and i said so it's just a place with no parental supervision filled with
• 1:02:13
  kindling great how god can we live that oh i forgot that wood was involved and so i was like
• 1:02:22
  just just think that kindling means children it does the way i do it watch out kids you're gonna
• 1:02:29
  burn but your kids kids will be okay maybe i can redeem myself here hopefully all right
• 1:02:37
  is your word expunged that was my decoy word
• 1:02:43
  oh no no oh well i have more guesses i guess for your was it clams
• 1:02:54
  I wish it was
• 1:03:01
  no
• 1:03:02
  or okay
• 1:03:03
  one other guess
• 1:03:03
  overachiever
• 1:03:05
  was that your word?
• 1:03:07
  yeah
• 1:03:08
  oh
• 1:03:09
  oh
• 1:03:09
  thank god
• 1:03:12
  nicely done
• 1:03:13
  Jenna's up
• 1:03:14
  net one
• 1:03:15
  no up net two
• 1:03:16
  well no
• 1:03:16
  because you also guessed
• 1:03:17
  his decoy word
• 1:03:18
  right
• 1:03:19
  no we both got
• 1:03:19
  so that zeroes out
• 1:03:21
  but I get two points
• 1:03:22
  for guessing his real word
• 1:03:23
  But you also said overachiever.
• 1:03:25
  Oh, I did, didn't I?
• 1:03:29
  Did you?
• 1:03:30
  Did I?
• 1:03:31
  Pretty sure you did, yeah.
• 1:03:32
  Oh, yeah, no, yeah, she said that doesn't make me an overachiever.
• 1:03:36
  Dang it.
• 1:03:38
  Yeah.
• 1:03:39
  I'm plus one, I guess.
• 1:03:41
  Okay, you're still up.
• 1:03:42
  Are you winning now?
• 1:03:43
  No, I'm definitely not winning.
• 1:03:46
  Go to veryfinefriends.com to check the score, folks.
• 1:03:49
  Well, this was a fun guessing round.
• 1:03:54
  We got a lot.
• 1:03:54
  We did well.
• 1:03:55
  We did well.
• 1:03:55
  Yeah.
• 1:03:56
  Yeah.
• 1:03:56
  Good for us.
• 1:03:58
  Clams.
• 1:04:01
  I was really hoping that was it.
• 1:04:03
  I could go for some clams.
• 1:04:06
  Well, thanks for listening and we'll talk to you next time.
• 1:04:10
  Bye.
• 1:04:11
  Bye.
• 1:04:12
  Adios.
• 1:04:19
  you