Transcript

The Psychology of Crisis Intimacy: Zero power, zero patience, and definitely not texting my ex · 21st Century Dating Decoded!™

Brad Peters: Are you telling me that wanting to text my ex during a blackout isn't because I suddenly realized they were the one, or because I genuinely care about their safety, but it's just my autonomic nervous system trying to hack my vagal break to survive a category five hurricane? That is exactly what I'm telling you. Like am I really just a meat robot scanning for a familiar Wi Fi signal to calm my heart rate down? I am telling you exactly that. It really is that biological. It is not a moral failing on your part. Okay, that's reassuring. It is not a sudden romantic epiphany of true love that the universe has bestowed upon you in the dark. It is a biological imperative. Your body's under attack from stress hormones, and the mental and physical health consequences of isolation during a crisis are severe. Exactly. Your body is just trying to fulfill a fundamental biological need for connectedness to survive the night. So the problem isn't the need itself. Right. The problem is that you are using an outdated highly toxic emergency contact to try and fulfill it.