Latest / Arguing Ever After / Ep 39: Can an engagement be TOO long?

Transcript

Ep 39: Can an engagement be TOO long? · Arguing Ever After

0:15
Hello and welcome to Arguing Ever After.
0:18
I am Luke and this is my lovely bride, Amber.
0:21
Hello. Together we're the Lord and Lady
0:23
who lock horns. The counting Countess of
0:25
contention. The Duke and Duchess of
0:27
Disagreement. And the king and queen of
0:29
quarrels. In this podcast, we bicker about
0:31
all things big and small, and the audience vote determines who
0:36
the winner is. Many of our topics are
0:38
frequently submitted by our listeners, which we actually
0:40
need and want. So, do you have some idea that
0:43
you'd like us to argue about? Please send it to us at
0:45
arguingeverafter@gmail.com. All.
0:48
Right here we are. We've made it to #30. 838, is
0:52
that right? I don't know.
0:54
I think so. Could be 39.
0:56
I don't know. We're both kind of low energy
0:58
right now. Welcome to the podcast, ladies
1:01
and gentlemen. It's been a full day.
1:06
Our area has been on spring break and instead of going
1:11
anywhere we were doing a little bit more of AI, don't know
1:15
staycation kind of. Well, you are.
1:17
I am you're working. I'm working well I'm.
1:21
Doing a work occasion. Yeah.
1:23
That's not a thing. That's because you took so much
1:25
time off with your surgeries that you did not have more time
1:27
off. But education?
1:30
Yeah, doesn't matter. But for our kid, it doesn't
1:32
matter whether or not you took off time.
1:34
That's true because she still's got time off from school and I
1:40
still feel the need even though she is well into her teens.
1:44
I still feel the need to entertain her when she's not in
1:49
school. So I took some time off and I'm
1:51
glad I did. I mean, obviously, you know, no
1:54
one ever is like, I wish I wouldn't have spent time with my
1:56
kid, but we where we live, springtime is not springtime.
2:07
It's winter 2.0 we. Had a ice storm this morning
2:11
which really just turned out to be freezing rain.
2:13
It was no big deal. It was just, yeah, exactly.
2:15
No big deal. Just freezing rain that stops
2:18
parts of our country in its tracks.
2:21
Not here, but not here. Yep.
2:23
That's just, well, it's Tuesday. It's not Tuesday.
2:25
Yeah. You know, so.
2:28
But I'd had plans of things that I wanted to do to kind of make
2:31
it feel not just like being at home.
2:34
And one of the things in Minnesota, we have this really
2:37
cute town called Stillwater. So if you're ever wanting to go
2:41
somewhere, it's a it's a really cute town.
2:44
Highly recommend. Yes, couple of really awesome
2:46
people got married there a long time ago.
2:48
A couple of really awesome people did.
2:50
You're right, you're right. But it's a it's a just a nice
2:54
little area to go shopping on. The river has a tons of antique
2:57
stores which our daughter did not want to do.
3:00
Well, there's old stuff in there.
3:02
I know, she says. Yeah, she says.
3:04
It smells like old dead people. And I'm like, come on.
3:09
Old dead people. Yeah, yeah.
3:12
Oh, wow. But I told her because we went
3:14
into all the new stores that they have.
3:16
Next time we go, I'm antique storing because I really do love
3:21
going to antique storing. Do you like old dead people?
3:24
I I do, I do. I mean like there's there's far
3:28
more old you just. Got to retheme it like it's
3:30
Halloween and maybe she'll like it.
3:31
Right. Maybe.
3:32
Maybe it's got the thematic aroma, maybe, I don't know, But
3:39
it was rainy and cold, which meant not a lot of people, which
3:44
for someone like me, that's a bonus.
3:47
I don't like big crowded areas, but it was rainy and cold, so
3:54
most of it is outside going to shop, to shop, to shop.
3:57
And I was certainly doing that and getting rained on.
4:01
And one of the things I really dislike, which is really
4:03
difficult being a Minnesotan, is being cold.
4:08
Wait, what? I really dislike in general
4:11
being cold. Oh, you're talking about your
4:14
struggles. Yes.
4:15
With where you were born and raised and live.
4:17
Right, but what I'm saying it's one of the.
4:19
Things many people in Minnesota have that same.
4:22
Rights. Struggle.
4:24
Right. I really dislike it.
4:26
So it was difficult coming out of that, you know?
4:29
But I wanted to be there, she wanted to do it, and we did and
4:33
saw some fun things. I'm envious of the people who
4:36
embraced the cold. Yeah.
4:38
We're like, oh, let's go hiking. Well, I guess I actually did
4:41
that a lot this year. I semi embrace the cold this
4:45
year 'cause I was so bored staying at home from surgery.
4:47
But like people that go snowboarding or skiing or
4:50
snowmobiling or skating on ice and doing hockey and I don't
4:56
know all the different outdoor winter things one does.
5:00
But we don't have that right now.
5:02
That's not the. No, no, right.
5:03
We're past that, that part of. Winter, right, right.
5:06
Right. Now we're in springtime.
5:08
Which is sort of winter. Right for us, but there are
5:11
other parts of the world I get kind of jealous 'cause you know
5:14
when you're looking on social media people are talking about
5:16
planting stuff and I'm. Thinking it's like March 5th and
5:20
you're like, well, I can't. I know we're gonna have at least
5:23
three more snowstorms, at least four more freeze days.
5:26
Right, right. It's, it's a, it's a time before
5:29
we get to do that, but I will be happy when it is time to start
5:34
seeing things come up. Seen a couple things come up
5:37
already. I saw our little Tulip leaves
5:39
come. And I saw that too.
5:41
I'm a little worried about that because, you know, and.
5:43
That one tree. Yes, we do have a a Magnolia
5:46
tree out front of our house which is beautiful, but if the
5:50
frost happens after we've had the warmth then what can happen
5:55
is we can lose the buds if they were too big and then not get
5:59
the flowers. Hopefully that doesn't happen.
6:00
Right, right. I hope so too, but.
6:02
I have faith in nature. But it's coming, it's coming, I
6:05
can feel it. I saw a couple Robins the other
6:08
day. Haven't seen them since but I
6:10
did see them so so soon soon. I saw on one of my walks in the
6:18
woods, absolutely massive pair of sandhill cranes, which I
6:26
don't think I've ever seen in Minnesota before.
6:29
They're huge birds. I mean, they had to have been
6:32
five, I don't know, four or five feet tall.
6:35
They were gigantic. I I'm sure I've seen them in
6:38
Minnesota before. I, I don't think I have.
6:40
And they have like the red, the red thing on their head, like
6:44
it's a crown, like feather coloring.
6:47
And they make the loudest, the most terrifying bird call ever.
6:52
If you're not ready for it and you're 20 feet away in the
6:54
woods, right? I was just walking down the
6:56
thing and then it was like, Oh my God, I was.
7:00
So I was terrified. Some of the bird calls I learned
7:04
that happened from those larger birds were recorded and used for
7:09
parts of Jurassic Park. Interesting.
7:12
Yeah, yeah. So you know some of the dinosaur
7:14
sounds. So that tells you how jarring
7:17
some of those sounds truly can be after.
7:19
I mean these were dinosaur level birds.
7:21
Like these things were massive and the redhead make it look all
7:26
like Aries warlike. Also right next to them,
7:30
swimming in the same little pond that those big dinosaur birds
7:33
were walking through, were a mated pair of ducks, mallards.
7:38
I love ducks, they're so cute. Green heads.
7:41
Every rare once in a while we'll have a couple walking through
7:45
our front yard. I just love them.
7:48
I wish I could have them responsibly right?
7:51
Or like a pair that are just. What does that even mean?
7:55
Well, like you have to take care of them if you actually have
7:57
them. Do you have to feed the ducks?
7:59
Well, yeah. They don't just go handle their
8:02
business somewhere. I don't think so.
8:03
Why? Do they eat bugs?
8:04
Fish. I don't know.
8:05
This is why I couldn't have ducks because I don't know what
8:08
you'd feed them, but I know you're not supposed close to
8:11
feed them bread. However, I certainly have fed a
8:14
duck bread in my life, you know, back in the day when maybe we
8:18
didn't know better or we didn't care, you know, feeding ducks.
8:21
I feel like didn't know better is the.
8:23
Maybe. Maybe.
8:25
Since I've learned that you're not supposed to feed ducks
8:27
bread, I do not find myself feeding ducks bread.
8:30
Right, that's true. Also, don't randomly carry a
8:33
loaf of bread around. I mean I.
8:35
Do you think duck people like, do that, like that are like duck
8:37
lovers? They just like, carry a loaf of
8:39
bread in their car and they go, oh, look, some ducks.
8:41
Here we go. Did we do that early in our
8:43
relationship? I don't know.
8:44
Did we? I for certain remember driving
8:47
around in my escort carrying and having like wonder bread to feed
8:52
to the ducks. RIP to the Ford Escort.
8:54
Yes. Yes, yeah, that was a, that was
8:58
a vehicle. It did it's job shared between
9:01
me and two of my sisters because that's what you do with
9:04
vehicles. But.
9:06
Maybe I didn't really have to. Well, right, right, because.
9:10
My brothers were gone away at college.
9:12
Yeah, by the time I was driving. They must have had.
9:14
Their own. It was nice for me.
9:15
Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, it would have been
9:18
nice. I mean, but we lived in an area
9:20
that buses were easy enough to take, so, you know, it's just
9:25
more convenient to and cool. Much cooler.
9:28
Much cooler to drive your own car you.
9:30
Can and when you're in high school, it doesn't matter what
9:33
kind of car it is. No, not at all.
9:35
Because most of the time not everyone has a car and you're
9:38
just the one with the car, so you're the cool one.
9:41
I mean, sure, sure. Or you're the one who has like
9:44
gas in the tank. Yep.
9:46
That's also cool. Yep.
9:49
I don't don't even talk about gas prices.
9:51
Apparently people are really upset about it.
9:53
I don't drive very often, so I'm hoping that I won't have to deal
9:56
with it. I drive so much that it is.
10:00
Doesn't matter. Yeah, Yeah.
10:02
I think that's kind of a lot of. The buying it anyway.
10:05
Yeah, yeah. So what else we've been doing on
10:08
this staycation? Yeah, other than witnessing
10:11
mated pairs of mallards and sandhill cranes.
10:14
Yeah, I didn't. I didn't witness that on my
10:16
spring staycation, but last night we went to the very local
10:24
to Minnesota Chanhassen Dinner Theater.
10:27
Which is awesome. It's a great place if you're in
10:30
the area. They have a show and dinner all
10:35
at the same time. There's a lot of places that
10:37
have dinner theaters. I don't know, I don't know.
10:42
Like I wonder if that's like a Midwest thing or if that's an
10:44
everywhere thing because it's set up like there's a stage and
10:48
then the the viewing area is very much an amphitheater.
10:52
Yes, but also all the seats are tables at which you eat.
10:56
Yes, yes. Oh, except there is like a
10:58
balcony with like maybe 10 or 20 seats that you don't eat up
11:02
there. I don't think I'd want to do
11:04
that in that type of an environment.
11:06
What I find convenient about it is that your dinner and show are
11:09
all at the same place. Yeah, you don't have to figure
11:11
out another event. Yeah.
11:13
And like figure out is the timing going to work?
11:15
Because that's always, I mean either you eat after the which a
11:19
lot of times feels super late. Way late.
11:21
Or beforehand you're like, please make sure I get the check
11:24
early. And if I don't get the check
11:26
early, am I going to be late to the theater or am I going to be
11:28
really early to the theater? The timing is not good.
11:31
This is why I like this. I've seen a couple of shows
11:35
there and we did recently have an offer to go see the show at a
11:41
little discount. I'm always good on a discount.
11:45
Yes, you are if. You send me a coupon, man.
11:49
Lookout, I'm probably gonna utilize it.
11:53
But it's 30%. Off.
11:54
I know, I know, I love a good deal.
11:58
So we got a good deal and so we went and saw Guys and Dolls.
12:02
Guys and Dolls. I love musicals.
12:05
I've seen lots of musicals. Yeah, I certainly have heard
12:08
about Guys and Dolls over the years, but I've never seen Guys
12:12
and Dolls until we saw it last night.
12:14
Until last night I also same. Yeah, yeah.
12:18
I don't have the same. You definitely have not seen as
12:21
many. Yeah, you've seen a lot more.
12:24
My brother has seen all the musicals ever.
12:28
Well, I doubt that. Well, that's.
12:30
True, I feel like you might be AI.
12:32
Mean you got a college degree in it.
12:34
Doesn't mean you've seen all the musicals ever.
12:36
I understand he's probably seen a lot.
12:38
I bet he has. He's in a bunch.
12:39
I bet he has. Seen younger?
12:41
But it was really fun to see something I hadn't seen before.
12:45
And I purposefully I do this with movies too.
12:49
Like I don't want to read the synopsis, I don't want to know
12:53
anything about it. Yeah, just go in blind.
12:56
Go in blind. So we go in and they have these
13:00
like photo op things. Guess what?
13:03
For all of you who are maybe aren't following us on social
13:06
media, yeah, we're gonna drop a picture.
13:10
Yes of our photo op. Yes, but we walk in.
13:14
And maybe one of the funny ones our kid took from the worst
13:16
angle. Yeah, I don't know.
13:18
It's so bad. Our PR team AKA our daughter.
13:28
I love her and she sometimes has a hard time taking picture of
13:34
us. I think she just thinks they're
13:36
all great. Oh, that's so nice.
13:38
Yeah. She's like, oh, this subject
13:39
matter is beautiful no matter what.
13:41
That's what it is. But of course, you know, when
13:44
you're trying to take a picture of a, a vent or a space, it's
13:47
like, just put me there, but make sure you get the
13:50
background, all the background, because that really matters.
13:53
But so we walk in and I see a couple dice as props and I
13:59
thought must be part of the show.
14:02
Don't want to spoil anything for anybody who has never seen Guys
14:05
and Dolls and wants to go see it, but it definitely dice is
14:10
definitely a big part of it's. A part of the show.
14:12
Of the show and a lot of times. And they had fedoras.
14:17
They did have fedoras as well. Fedoras and dice.
14:20
You know, I feel like back in the day when the back in the
14:23
Fedora day, they really did have some good fashions, like those
14:28
nice zoot suits were just really something, you know, I was
14:32
watching the dancers on the stage and just really, really
14:37
classic outfits, you know? Yeah, we just, we don't dress
14:41
like that anymore. As I sit here comfortably in my
14:43
hoodie and would never want to wear one of those dresses with
14:47
those little heels. Just.
14:48
No. Thank you.
14:50
I I. Totally rock one of them suits.
14:52
I know you would, but would you do it daily?
14:55
I mean, if I wasn't alone. But OK.
14:59
That's part of like, part of the deal is you're dressing to
15:03
society for the most part, like, well, if you're a guy wearing a
15:08
suit, like it's all, it's because all the guys are wearing
15:11
the suits like they were in the show.
15:13
Right, right. If they were all wearing hoodies
15:15
and you were wearing a suit, well first of all you would look
15:18
better than everyone in the hoodie.
15:19
Is that OK? That's OK though.
15:21
Yeah, but it's weird. For who?
15:25
The guy in the suit, maybe he doesn't care, I don't know.
15:27
I feel like if you look extra good, you don't care.
15:31
Everybody else would be like. You're probably right.
15:34
Did I did I underdress or be like, wow, you look good.
15:37
They that's we have this really good friend who is an artist and
15:41
she always dresses like. Like an artist.
15:44
Like an artist, but always phenomenally and one day in like
15:49
the last. I don't know, 15 years I've seen
15:52
her. She wore a like a, what is it
15:57
called the the sweat suit, but not a sweat suit, track suit, a
16:01
track suit. And I was like, you still look
16:03
fabulous no matter what you. Wear.
16:05
So that's a shout out to Sam St. John.
16:07
You look fabulous no matter what you wear.
16:09
I agree. But but I but I think it's it's
16:16
fun to have people who are like just constantly into the
16:18
fashion. Clearly not me, I mean my.
16:21
Come on, your mint green Jeep hoodie with a dog.
16:24
Print out. It stands out.
16:25
That's that's you know. Fashionable as all get out it.
16:28
Is who doesn't like dogs, Jeeps and mint green?
16:31
I don't know. And hoodies.
16:32
They're comfortable. It's a whole vibe.
16:35
It is a whole vibe. It is a whole vibe.
16:37
Well anyhow, so the talking back on the show that we watched.
16:41
Guys and Dolls. Guys and Dolls.
16:45
It was great. It was it was really great.
16:48
And if you don't like musicals, I'm sorry.
16:50
We're gonna talk about it a little bit more.
16:52
If you do good, you'll you might.
16:55
Saddle in. Yeah, yeah, there were a lot
16:57
more. Saddle up, how do you say that?
16:59
I don't know. Get in the saddle, I'm not a
17:02
cowboy. Hop on in.
17:03
I don't know. Wait, is it a cowboy?
17:05
This wasn't a cowboy. I just was referencing saddle.
17:08
Oh, OK, carry on. Anyhow, there were a lot more
17:12
male dancing numbers, I think that in most the musicals I've
17:15
seen, and that was sort of interesting.
17:18
I really, it was a different a male solo only man.
17:25
What do I mean by that? Solo solo only man, all male
17:35
dancing numbers. No females present.
17:38
Not at all, which I thought was really it was different.
17:41
I mean, they also had female dances and male and female
17:44
dances, yes. But yeah, you're right, there
17:47
are a lot of the musicals they don't have like.
17:51
Not that many. Yeah, male only numbers.
17:55
Yeah, so. And like ensemble male only
17:58
numbers. Yeah, it was a really male heavy
18:02
cast, and maybe it's just the way it was there, but it just
18:05
seemed really like strong male characters in the musical.
18:09
And usually you have a couple, but man, just really overall I
18:13
think the story was pretty good. Not my favorite, I will say, but
18:19
I appreciate it and I think I think there was some really
18:23
good, good stuff going on in there.
18:26
What's your review, Ebert? Well, wait, am I Siskel or are
18:30
you Siskel? I feel like we don't want to be
18:32
either of them. I.
18:32
Don't mind, all right. Go OK.
18:35
Because they're dead. Are they both?
18:37
Good. I think one of them might still
18:40
be around, I don't know. I don't know where that device
18:43
would come in 3rd device. My review is I thought it was
18:48
fantastic and I really liked the fact that there was like, I
18:53
don't know, 12 or 14 men in the in the cast that were like,
19:01
you're doing the whole deal. Like they had the whole costume
19:04
set up and they were dancing and, and they were like really
19:08
dancing. Like they were doing twists and
19:12
lifts and flips and, well, not flips, but lots of, yeah, very
19:18
active dances. Yeah, yeah.
19:21
That spread the stage out. I was captivated.
19:24
I know, I know well, and I like I said, I just don't usually see
19:28
that many male numbers. But yeah, it was great.
19:33
Where would. Oh, go ahead.
19:35
Nope, you go ahead. I was just going to say one of
19:38
the guys didn't dance quite as much as the others, but I think
19:41
that was he was maybe a little more elderly.
19:46
OK, well. That was OK.
19:49
There was some, I mean, there was some older people dancing
19:51
out on that stage. I couldn't do it much better
19:53
than I could do. I couldn't do it, but it got me
19:56
thinking like these folks who are in like these local
19:59
theaters, I'm sure a lot of them have regular day jobs maybe.
20:04
Could you imagine going to work 9:00 to 5:00?
20:08
Monday through Friday, and then five to seven nights a week,
20:14
dancing for two hours and singing for two hours or three
20:17
hours, whatever it is. Listen, sometimes it's hard to
20:20
just work 9:00 to 5:00. I know.
20:23
You're adding some other stuff on it.
20:25
I know. I mean, if they love it,
20:27
obviously if they're doing this, they're probably not.
20:29
Like I don't think anyone does theater just for the money.
20:33
Like they do it for love. There's no money in theaters.
20:36
Right. Like I think they do it for love
20:38
and then there's some money, right?
20:40
Cuz they're certainly getting paid.
20:42
Yeah, I don't think I could do that every night.
20:44
I think it'd be fun for like 5 minutes, you know what I'm
20:46
saying? Like for two weeks I'm like
20:48
great, and now I'm done. But sometimes.
20:50
Do you wanna do like a two week dance class?
20:52
No, no, no. That sounds like a lot.
20:56
OK, every night for two. Weeks.
20:57
I don't know. I don't know how they work.
20:59
I was just asking a question. Yeah, I'd go.
21:02
Well, so. Changing the subject.
21:05
What would you go do with you where I don't know what?
21:09
Whatever kind of dance do you? OK, OK.
21:13
Like learn how to something, yeah, something something dance.
21:16
Yeah, it doesn't work with our schedules though either, really,
21:19
if you think about it. That's fair.
21:21
Yeah, we can't really do too much on a regular basis.
21:23
You know what we can do? Record this awesome podcast.
21:26
We can. This is This is our dancing.
21:29
It's you're right, our dancing, vocal dancing.
21:34
I wonder if people that dance think that they're talking with
21:38
their bodies. I sure yes, it's a form of
21:41
expression. It's also a song by Jason
21:44
Derülo. Oh yes, you're right.
21:46
I feel like it's not the only time that someone has maybe put
21:50
that idea into a song. Fair, that's true.
21:55
But yeah, I think it's pretty good.
21:57
I think it's pretty good. Maybe one of the things that I
22:01
wasn't as in love with with the show though, like I said, I was
22:04
pretty good. But the story, some of the main
22:09
characters, I don't want to give too much away, but.
22:12
Came out on Broadway in the 60s. I feel like you're probably OK.
22:16
I know, but I hadn't seen it. What if one of the listeners
22:19
hasn't seen it yet and they're like, don't spoil it?
22:22
First of all, I don't know what the availability is cross
22:25
country to just dash out and go see Guys and Dolls, first of
22:29
all. Probably on YouTube.
22:31
Well, OK, I it's OK. This is like saying I don't want
22:35
to put any spoilers out of the movie that came out 20 years
22:38
ago. Like we talk about Star Wars and
22:41
you're like, no spoilers. What?
22:44
Stop it. It's fine.
22:46
Well, I like musicals where I find that the females are really
22:50
easy to relate to and I don't know that I felt that that
22:56
connection with the female characters in this.
22:58
Time, well, their story was a little different.
23:00
Right, you could tell it was from a different time.
23:03
Yes. Although one of them, she was
23:06
really, her character was really funny.
23:09
I just like it. I don't know.
23:13
I don't know. I'm glad I live in today's world
23:15
and not in the 20s to 50s because, man, you know, she had
23:21
a hard time. Yeah, being in love with a guy
23:25
who she wanted to marry, who didn't want to marry her.
23:29
Or did, I don't know. I don't think he did.
23:34
Yeah. No, yeah, I mean, he did run
23:37
away. Yeah, yeah.
23:39
That's an interesting thing that's in a lot of like older
23:42
movies like that, you know, like, you know, trying to get
23:45
him to marry you and he doesn't want to and all that.
23:48
You know, I just don't. I mean, when we were kids, your
23:51
mom said something about the milk and the cow.
23:54
Wow. What?
23:55
We're not going to that's. That's her fault.
23:57
That's not my fault, right? I didn't say it.
24:00
Right. No, no, no, that has nothing.
24:01
I don't think, I don't know. I just think it's a it's a
24:05
interesting and UN I'm I'm happy in many ways that I don't that
24:10
we don't need to live in that world.
24:12
But I think people do a lot still though, you know?
24:16
Sure, yeah. I think there are a lot of
24:18
people who are like, I just want to settle down and the person
24:21
I'm in love with won't settle down with me.
24:23
Absolutely. You know which then what I don't
24:27
understand. I don't understand that the.
24:31
The Settle down drive. No, no, like the I mean the not
24:37
being upfront about not wanting to settle down.
24:42
Oh, sure. Like why?
24:45
Just, I don't know, I think a lot of people are probably
24:46
scared of it. Yeah, I think so.
24:49
Like maybe everybody to some degree.
24:51
I mean I. Scared of it?
24:53
We got married on a boat and I had running shoes on just in
24:57
case. You were going to run right into
24:59
that water in that white dress. Yep, Yep, Yep, right overboard.
25:08
Is that a movie? No, but it should have been.
25:11
I bet it is. Maybe, maybe.
25:13
If it is, I haven't seen it. It's a good title though.
25:16
It is, isn't it? It's good, I mean.
25:18
Copyright Trademark. Yeah, yeah, title, title is.
25:21
I mean, I'm coming up with the whole movie now, so.
25:24
Let's write a screenplay, all right?
25:26
We could do some creative stuff together.
25:28
We could. We are doing some creative stuff
25:31
together. More though.
25:32
You're right that. 'D be fun.
25:33
You're right. Let's write a screenplay.
25:35
I mean, I think. Called Bride Overboard, our
25:40
grand debut. Yeah, right overboard and
25:44
arguing ever after production. Yes, see, there we go.
25:48
All right, OK, We're cooking. We're like it.
25:51
We're there. Well, anyway, so no, the guy, I
25:53
don't think he wanted to get married.
25:56
Well, so that actually. Oh she did so bad that she
26:01
remember in the story she was writing letters to her mother
26:04
that not only did they get married but then and I don't
26:07
know why they never met each other, the mom and the daughter.
26:10
You mean the mom and the supposed son-in-law?
26:14
Well, no and or the daughter 'cause then the daughter wrote
26:16
letters about having kids and that they didn't actually have
26:20
'cause they weren't married and getting buying a house that they
26:22
didn't buy 'cause they weren't married.
26:24
And I know had this whole string of things that had happened in
26:28
her life that she lied to her mom about was like, whoa, this.
26:30
Is why I didn't like the character, because she was,
26:33
there was so much lie to cover up something that she wanted but
26:38
couldn't have. When really the simplest
26:41
solution, yeah, would have been to just be like, OK, this guy's
26:45
not interested. Yeah, you know, but like, I
26:49
mean, everyone's told A-fib to their parent, but that's a
26:53
whopper. That I mean, five kids, a
26:55
whopper. Right, right.
26:57
She said. And they had names.
26:59
They did. They did.
27:00
And then I think the reason they couldn't visit is the kids were
27:02
in boarding school. I don't remember.
27:04
Had a whole second life I don't remember.
27:06
You know how long it takes to get married, buy a house and
27:09
have 5 kids? If you're lying to your mom?
27:12
I don't know. 14 years? Yeah, that's how long it took in
27:16
the show. You're right, you're right.
27:17
That's I'm in just like. Well, let me ask you a question.
27:22
Lou Boom, now that's a segue. Ladies and gentlemen, the moment
27:27
you've all been waiting for in this corner claiming to weigh in
27:31
at 135 lbs, we have the delicious and wonderful Amber.
27:38
And in this corner. I can be delicious too.
27:42
I didn't say you weren't. OK.
27:45
In this corner we have Luke Wayne claiming to weigh in at
27:49
185 lbs. Not after that carrot cake.
27:52
Showing up with Mike. This is my favorite hoodie and
27:56
for those who are on on like the The Visible Thing video game.
28:01
It's called video. Wow.
28:03
Yeah, if you ever see it on me, it's because I somehow, no, got
28:07
it from him. This.
28:08
Not that Luke won't let me borrow.
28:12
A hoodie. Death on it.
28:13
Yeah, not that Luke won't let me borrow a hoodie, but I don't
28:16
want to buy. I want to own.
28:17
I want to keep. Yeah, don't touch my stuff.
28:19
Lady, actually, I'm totally kidding.
28:22
He would never let me borrow a hoodie.
28:24
If it's shrunk, I do. Yes, well, you let me have it.
28:27
Then there's one that's close that you still want that you
28:30
can't have. I'm excited anyhow.
28:32
So in this corner we usually talk about our wins and losses
28:34
and we have two polls come in so.
28:39
I think I lost. Both of them eight ties.
28:42
Luke's coming in with twelve wins and 18 losses.
28:50
So I am going to ask you a question today, Luke.
28:55
Just don't understand. In honor of springtime, which is
29:01
wedding season. It's engagement season.
29:06
Oh, OK, sure, that. Summer is wedding season knows
29:09
in Minnesota. OK, OK, wow, he's even arguing
29:14
with me here. It's called arguing ever after.
29:16
That's the question. Arguing ever after.
29:19
Is there such a thing as being engaged too long?
29:25
That is the question. You want me to go first?
29:28
Yeah. You want me to go first?
29:30
No, you go first, I'm asking. You super want you to go first.
29:33
Why? You could just step right in it.
29:36
No, I'm gonna let you do it, OK? I'll go first, but I'm gonna
29:39
have a lot of rebuttal to whatever nonsense you spew.
29:43
OK? OK.
29:44
Is, is there a number that you can be engaged for?
29:50
Meaning you've proposed to somebody.
29:54
Sure. Ideally that is too long a time
29:57
prior to actually getting married.
30:00
Yes. OK.
30:03
Like for sure, are we is this a yes or no?
30:05
I'm in OK, yes, there's for sure.
30:09
We'll we'll just start with the example we just we cruised in
30:13
onto this with is 14 years. I'm talking yo, that's way too
30:18
long, especially in that example.
30:22
Well, I mean, you would think in any example, if you said yes,
30:26
someone wanted to get married. And in most cases, if we're
30:33
talking in a a guy and a girl couple and you get engaged, that
30:38
means you want to get married. If you said yes, which usually
30:42
means some other stuff unless you've predetermined like we're
30:46
not having kids or whatever. Like most of the time it leads
30:50
to like living together if you're not already and starting
30:56
a family because you know you're going to get married and stay
30:58
together forever and get old and whatnot.
31:02
So there's a time frame, I mean, where you can't reproduce even
31:09
like, so if you get if you get engaged, let's say you're 25.
31:14
I don't know what a, what's a normal number to get engaged?
31:17
I bet there's like an actual number.
31:19
So like let's say you're 25 to 30 because I hear the numbers
31:24
going up. Like people are older, yes, now
31:28
than they were. OK, so so let's say it's 25 to
31:32
30 and you get engaged like you don't have like if you're 25 and
31:42
it's 14, you're going to be almost 40.
31:44
Like you can even really, I mean, you can have kids, but
31:48
even the doctors will tell you that's that's like you got, it's
31:52
risky. Yeah.
31:54
So like, I think there's got to be a, there's got to be a too
31:58
long and I don't even know what the number is, but it's a lot
32:01
shorter than that. And like the other thing is like
32:05
you got to ask yourself at that point, like, what are you really
32:08
even doing? Like do you, are you, do you
32:12
want to be with that person? I mean, you must have wanted to,
32:16
to get engaged. Like if you proposed or said
32:19
yes, either side of that arrangement is both of you want
32:24
to be with that person potentially forever because
32:27
that's the point of marriage for the most part.
32:30
I think so Like how I don't, I don't understand how anyone
32:35
could just be engaged for like undetermined amount of time and
32:41
just be cool cuz you can't be cool cuz what'd you get engaged
32:46
for? Will you marry me?
32:48
That's the question you ask when you say when you're going to get
32:51
engaged and then someone says yes, OK, now there's a lot of
32:59
exceptions because like there's people that can't have kids.
33:07
Sure, there's same sex couples in which child I was going to
33:14
say childbearing, but that's not it can be unless it's female
33:18
same sex, but like you have to like involve a third party, you
33:23
know, somehow you either have to like adopt, you have to
33:27
inseminate. I think that's the word.
33:30
Like there's all this different stuff to get you to the the
33:34
phase of actually having a child.
33:38
So assuming that this is the, the part of the discussion, I
33:45
just think like there's got to be a number.
33:48
Even if man, you know what, even if you're not going to have
33:52
kids, there's still a number that's too long because you've
33:55
asked the question, will you marry me?
33:59
And then you just never do. Well, then maybe you didn't want
34:02
to get married in the 1st place or maybe something happened in
34:05
the interim and you're like, no, I actually don't want to get
34:08
married. Like, OK, well then don't be
34:09
engaged anymore. What are you doing?
34:12
I don't know. That's what I got for now.
34:14
I'm ready to hear whatever you're talking about because I'm
34:16
interested. You better be ready for some
34:18
rebuttaling. Gosh, well then you have to be
34:21
ready for re rebuttal. I'm gonna re rebuttal.
34:24
OK, so I don't think there is such a thing as being engaged
34:29
too long because according to Judge Judy.
34:34
Judge. Judy.
34:35
There we go. An engagement is well an
34:39
engagement ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage.
34:46
So engagement is a period of contemplate contemplating
34:49
marriage, right. So based on that, based on the
34:55
I'm just basing it based on engagement ring in the Judge
34:57
Judy show I. Saw so.
35:00
So if that's the period where you're you're contemplating
35:03
marriage, like you're saying, yeah, I want to do it, but it's
35:08
not like I want to do it tomorrow because you could go
35:10
fly off somewhere in elope. But you're choosing to, whatever
35:15
reason, take time before that. And I don't think most people,
35:23
unless they're going to get married really quickly, pick a
35:25
date like right away. They have a little time, like,
35:28
cool, we're engaged. This is the moment we're living
35:30
in. And that's OK.
35:32
It's the fun period where we have, we don't have the
35:35
responsibility yet of doing all those things of getting married,
35:38
but we're here. Yeah, if, if opportunity was
35:42
perfect, we would be getting married.
35:43
However, we have all these other things that would make it
35:46
perfect for us, Right. I don't really necessarily think
35:50
that the timing of all of the other things of why someone
35:54
might do it would for me, that's not a factor into this question
35:58
because whether or not you're having kids, I mean, we live in
36:01
2026, people having kids outside of marriage all the time.
36:05
So that's not a need. And for some people like, gosh,
36:10
you know, like it's probably better to not get married to the
36:13
person you had the kid with because you really aren't right
36:16
together and getting a house. All of those things.
36:20
You don't need to be married to the other person to do those
36:23
things. Back in the day when the guys
36:27
and dolls existed, yes, OK, women couldn't get a house by
36:30
themselves. There were many things they
36:32
couldn't do, you know, they couldn't get a credit card, all
36:34
of those things. So they probably did need a
36:36
spouse to be able to have some securities through life.
36:42
But in today's world, like I, I just, I don't see that the, the
36:47
need for a really quick turn around unless you want that,
36:51
right? Like sometimes it's just a
36:53
matter of I just want to take my time.
36:55
We know, Hey, we're not dating anymore.
36:58
We're, we're beyond just dating. We're beyond just saying that,
37:02
you know, which is to me, it sounds weird to say girlfriend
37:05
to boyfriend because like most of the time you, you're full
37:08
grown adults. So your significant other,
37:11
whatever, you know, But then then it's another step beyond
37:13
that, you know, where it's like we're, we're we've committed a
37:17
little bit deeper and for whatever reason, we just haven't
37:21
taken that other step now, because I like to do just a
37:25
little bit of research. This has nothing, it's not going
37:29
to be a winner. I'm just saying, I looked to see
37:32
what is the average cost of a wedding?
37:36
Do you want to know what the average cost of a wedding is in
37:38
the Midwest? I do. $29,000.
37:42
But what is it on the coasts? More.
37:45
For, you know, if you had. AII Just it said 29 to 50,000 is
37:51
the average cost of a wedding in the United States.
37:53
OK. So that's a lot.
37:56
Of that's a lot of dope. Lot of dope.
37:59
And if you think of a lot of people who are of the regular
38:02
marrying age, I mean like people out, I mean anybody really, but
38:06
like of the youthful marrying age where they're where you're
38:10
talking about, they want to get their life going, all of that,
38:12
you know, and they think that's a necessity.
38:14
They have student loans, all of those things to worry about.
38:18
I mean, I can't imagine spending that kind of money on a, on a
38:23
one day event and having like how long it would take to save
38:27
up that money. And I hope like, you know,
38:29
people are taking out loans for these things on top of their
38:32
other loans. Like, I think what would be, to
38:36
me a reasonable reason to wait, you know, you were talking about
38:40
reasons to hurry it up is to be financially stable.
38:44
So if it takes you a while to get there, it might $30,000.
38:49
I don't even know how long it would take to save up $30,000.
38:53
I mean, if you didn't do anything, you could do that.
38:55
Right. But do you want to do something?
38:57
Well, I want to do stuff. I want to go out to eat.
39:02
I would like to maybe go on a vacation, you know, maybe, maybe
39:06
I'd like to have some adventure with my fiance before we get
39:09
married type of a thing. You know, maybe I don't want to
39:13
have your student loan debt. Maybe I don't want to have
39:15
whatever other debt you've got. Maybe you need to clear all that
39:18
up so we can come in without those things.
39:21
So like, I could see very good reason to wait a while.
39:26
And in today's world, given the economics, I'm not going to get
39:32
anything in there other than saying it costs a lot.
39:37
And if I wanted to have that type of a party or whatever it
39:40
is that cost that kind of money, I think it'd be better to not
39:45
throw it all on credit because then what are you doing, man?
39:48
You're just setting it off. It's that's hard.
39:51
That's hard. You know what is more important
39:53
for for you, for the wedding? Is it the event?
39:57
Is it the two of you? If it's just the two of you, OK.
40:01
Then the probably the wedding party doesn't matter, but for a
40:04
lot of people that party is super significant.
40:08
And so I'm going to say based on that alone, the answer is no,
40:15
there is no too long. But I'm going to let you sit
40:20
back and rebuttal. I'm going to have more after
40:21
that, but this is my number one reason is because it costs too
40:25
flippant much. But everything costs too much.
40:28
OK, so first of all, those are all points that you made the the
40:38
most important factor about getting engaged to somebody, at
40:42
least in our current society, because there are still like
40:47
there's still dowry societies and and you know, forced
40:51
marriages and whatnot. But assuming you're choosing the
40:53
marriage, the most important thing isn't money, it's love.
40:57
It's literally Oh yeah, make a face.
40:59
Married woman. No.
41:00
My point is. You can, you said yes.
41:03
I'm not being married. Sure, but we're not.
41:08
That's not the debate. The reason you get married is
41:12
because you love somebody so much that you'd like to have
41:17
them be your partner for life. That's what a wedding is.
41:21
I don't know if you forgot, I know it's been a while.
41:24
I understand. And we've been together a long
41:26
time, but that's why you do it and arguing ever after.
41:30
I'm just saying like you want to be with that person who can hold
41:34
up the other end of that debate. And if you find that person, you
41:38
got to cling to them because they're not a lot like people
41:41
that are. I don't know, man.
41:42
There's a lot of there's a lot of people that don't mix out
41:44
there. So, so the most important
41:46
ingredient I would say is love and, and there are plenty of
41:50
ways to get engaged and get married that are not beyond your
41:55
means. And, and I think that that
41:57
number moves with the couple. Like if you don't make a bunch
42:02
of money, you're not going to go get some big one carat fancy
42:09
ring that costs a bunch of money and you're not going to go you
42:12
know, rent out the sweet venue in the city and the big church
42:19
and spend 20304050 grand. You're going to scale it down.
42:25
Like I've been to weddings and and just for the people, in case
42:29
y'all forgot, I am a reverend. I have AI have officiated a
42:34
wedding. If you need an officiate.
42:36
Well, I mean, that's tired. That's there are people who find
42:40
a way to get married because they love each other, Sure,
42:43
within their means. And that's finding a venue, for
42:45
instance, outside of the city. There are lots of places in our
42:50
neck of the woods here in Minnesota that have very
42:54
affordable and lovely venues that aren't your traditional
43:00
wedding venues where you have your reception and your wedding
43:04
at the same place. So it's not multiple places and
43:06
transportation. And they have some nice outdoor
43:10
settings, which is really common in Minnesota that outdoor
43:13
weddings are like super common. And maybe they spend 10 grand,
43:18
which is still a lot of money. A lot of money.
43:21
Well, sure, but so is a car and you gotta buy one of those and
43:25
you ain't getting married to hit So like here, 10 grand is not
43:29
that much of A car nowadays. So and you don't even love it.
43:32
Well, maybe you love it. Some people love their cars.
43:35
I'm not going to. I'm not going to be mean about.
43:37
That OK to love your car? Just don't be in love with your
43:40
car there. Do you remember that from a cat?
43:43
It was a movie. It was.
43:44
It was. It's OK to love your dog.
43:45
Just don't be in love with your dog.
43:47
We're going to move on from the 90s from that.
43:51
So so anyway, so I think that's important to say is like it's
43:56
not a prerequisite that you go into a massive debt load just to
43:59
get married. Some people might.
44:01
No, I'm not saying might and and they might choose to, but they
44:03
probably are also going to in somewhat into that with a plan.
44:07
Like when you get student loan debt, it's not like you went
44:09
oops, I got 50 grand of student loans.
44:12
No, you probably chose your major, you probably studied hard
44:15
and you probably did the math and thought, OK, well, if I get
44:17
my career and I land it, I could pay this back over the course of
44:20
the next 10 years or whatever the number is.
44:23
I know the statistics aren't in your favor, but I don't think
44:26
anyone just goes, oops, I bought a house.
44:29
Like no, you know what you're doing when you're making a big
44:31
financial decision. I no, no, I'm not.
44:36
That's a whole time debate. I'm just saying you don't they
44:39
just I don't think you're accident your way into debt.
44:42
I don't Wow, you at least go into it with some sort of if
44:46
it's a life plan, like if it's a car, a house, a wedding, a
44:51
career, you probably have some counseling, some foresight, some
44:58
idea of what this might cost you, right.
45:01
And and that's all fine. It doesn't doesn't remove your
45:07
points. It just, you know, no, it
45:09
doesn't. I'm just saying like it's not
45:13
the most important thing. And I think that people
45:15
generally set the budget with their eyes open.
45:19
OK. I wasn't saying that that is my
45:21
point was if you wanted more time because you wanted to have
45:24
a better wedding or whatever for in your mind of what a better
45:28
wedding is, that's fine. I wasn't saying that that is the
45:32
reason to delay it, but for many people it is.
45:35
And so that is what I was saying.
45:37
The cost is really high. That was a reason why someone
45:42
might delay a wedding, not that they're not.
45:44
Sorry, I can't marry you, it's too expensive.
45:48
I mean, that's totally fair. I mean, if you don't understand,
45:51
that's the reality for a lot of people, sure.
45:54
But then, because love is the most important thing, I think
45:56
that then you choose the cheaper option.
45:59
So I think it'd be really funny, if not funny, fun, if you did
46:04
end up like officiating someone's wedding because you
46:07
said on the podcast that you are an officiant.
46:13
I would do it that. Would be That would be really
46:15
great. That would be really great.
46:17
I think that would be wonderful. We'll have a happily ever after
46:20
arguing ever after I. Don't know.
46:24
I don't know. Ever After brought to you by
46:26
arguing Ever after, right Trademark.
46:29
I'm just saying in life it's really you can't sit outside of
46:32
someone else's relationship and say what are the reasons that is
46:36
making them take too long. Now I do think the longer.
46:39
You can. No, I can't.
46:43
You can. The question is about being
46:44
engaged for too long. You can be engaged for too damn
46:47
long. That's the truth.
46:48
You think that now? I mean, I don't I don't I think
46:51
if whatever long it takes and if someone you know, if someone's
46:54
like I'm still not ready, don't do it like don't get married
46:58
yet. Then if you're still not ready
47:00
and you're three years in, if you're still not ready and
47:03
you're. That's like saying don't have
47:04
kids till you're financially ready.
47:06
What a joke. It's not a joke.
47:08
Nobody's financially ready for kids.
47:10
This. Is a huge the wedding is it the
47:12
rest of your life was one person is a huge commitment If you need
47:16
more time that's. Fine.
47:17
Do you need more time man? Man, man, but I'm just saying
47:23
like. There is the 1st 20 whatever
47:26
years was it if you need to think some more.
47:29
No, I don't. We got married.
47:30
We made that decision. But I'm saying as an outsider,
47:34
it's not. And it again, same thing if
47:36
someone's like you were. Engaged for a year and a half.
47:39
I don't, I don't think that I have no idea.
47:41
It doesn't really really. I was just telling you that.
47:44
I know the world was a little different, our finance, we were
47:47
different people, all those things.
47:49
I would certainly in today's world not be engaged for that.
47:52
That sounds short. A year and a half.
47:56
And we had also been together for seven.
47:58
Years 75, Years 7 Yes. By the time we got married.
48:02
Right. It had been a long time.
48:03
But my point is, whatever is good for the person is fine.
48:06
If they want to get married after knowing each other for two
48:09
days, great. If they want to wait, you know,
48:11
whatever. I think the further you get the
48:14
less likely it's going to happen though.
48:16
But whatever I mean. You got it.
48:19
OK, You got to ask some questions.
48:21
Why aren't you married yet? Yeah, I don't know.
48:24
I don't know, but I'm not gonna worry or judge.
48:28
I am what other people are, right, Right.
48:33
I don't. I'll straight up ask a question.
48:36
I know you. Yeah, like, hey, why are you
48:39
still? I know as I sit next to.
48:41
Haven't you guys been together for 10 years, Luke?
48:43
None of your business. Let's go.
48:44
I'll marry you. Everyone hearing that, we've
48:49
truly had that conversation before with people.
48:52
And I will sit there, Luke, it's not your business, Not your
48:55
business. And he's like, no, I want to do
48:57
it because you love, love. So I love, love.
49:00
You want it now for every. I think it's so great.
49:04
It's because of you, dear. I've had such a great experience
49:08
with you that I want other people to experience the same
49:12
magic. Well, OK.
49:14
They probably won't though, because they don't have you.
49:16
No, they don't. They don't, but you know how
49:20
they could. Good people on video just saw
49:23
your eye roll flick, flicker flicker and they're like uh oh,
49:28
we got trouble in paradise. We.
49:30
Don't we don't, but I was thinking they could have me by
49:34
sharing this podcast. Oh my God, you just segwayed
49:38
into the. That was dirty, but I like it.
49:40
I know. OK, I know.
49:43
But before, but before we really do walk away from all of this,
49:47
we need to figure out what the vote is.
49:48
If you're wanting to vote, you go to Spotify.
49:52
Yep. And or social media, we're back
49:54
to that. I mean, comment wherever because
49:57
we do like the the chatter. We really do like your
50:00
involvement in in our podcast because it's not just us.
50:03
We are enjoying how we're interacting with people.
50:07
Well, and we've been a little checked back, not out, but
50:09
checked back on socials like I think most people have because
50:13
this year has been it's. Been wild.
50:15
Boy, it's one for the headlines, I'll tell you.
50:17
Yeah, I don't even know what what crisis we're in right now.
50:21
There's like at least 4. Right, I don't, I don't want to
50:23
think about. It where do you and me soldier
50:25
and through together? I want to have fun and I want to
50:28
enjoy some things, and I want to be a little.
50:30
Yeah. So what I want to do is vote on
50:33
whether you think there's such a thing as being engaged too long,
50:35
yes or no. Do that on our Spotify.
50:38
Please do. Or wherever you're finding us,
50:41
share us with someone and you know, maybe you can give him a
50:45
little hint if you're engaged, you're like, hmm, been too long
50:48
or you know someone who maybe been engaged who was pushing
50:51
you. And if you're in Minnesota and I
50:53
like you, you could you could just hit me up.
50:56
Wait, but do you have to know them?
50:57
Would you have to know? That yeah, I don't want to go do
50:59
some stranger's wedding. I I don't need a job like that.
51:02
You don't need a job. You're like, that's like jury
51:04
duty. You got a.
51:05
Weird. I love jury.
51:07
Duty show up and be like, I'll marry whoever.
51:09
Yeah, I love jury duty. You pay me 500 bucks and I'm
51:12
ready to go. It's all good.
51:15
Do you need to get paid? Just be like, hey, just put in
51:17
the little. It depends.
51:18
Married by our. I'll tell you what, People are
51:20
gonna find out if I like them or not.
51:24
Oh, man. All right, people.
51:26
Get out there. Tell your friends.
51:28
Vote for us. Yeah.
51:30
See you next time. Bye.
51:32
Bye.