Latest / ShameOver - The Drink Less Podcast / How to Have Fun Without Alcohol: Sober Events, Alcohol-Free Community & Making Friends w/o Drinking
Transcript
- Erica+ShameOver: back to the Shameover podcast. I'm Erica Mallery and we are going to jump right back in and finish our conversation with Alex with Clarity App. I am so excited for you guys to learn more and experience this incredible vision that he has for all of us. So let's jump right in. let's talk about clarity. What is clarity circle? What is this, alex: What? Erica+ShameOver: I'm assuming, baby of yours that is now out in the world? alex: It's my passion, guess. It's my very long story short. When I first came into recovery, I decided that I was going to showcase and prove to people that you could have an amazing time without alcohol. And the concept came from the connections I made in rehab. where basically you were all in a group, you were all in a community, you all going through your individual struggles, problems, mess of a situation. But when we were together at times, we would have good conversations, we would have fun, we'd actually engage, we'd connect, we'd be silly, we'd have belly laughs and everything like that. Actually. Just like when I was a child, you can do all this without Erica+ShameOver: and alex: mind or in substances. So I created and did some massive corporate events in the UK. So we had like three, 400 people come into these nights where we had free course dinners, we had singers, dancers, we had all game play, we had points win prizes and all the rest of it. And they were amazing. and we did them for a couple of years and we had like thousands of people come in the UK and all the feedback from the thousands of people that came were like, these are amazing. We love it. We love it. And it wasn't telling anybody not to drink. It was just showcasing and almost whetting people's appetite to say, yeah, you can drink, you know, and you can have a party night out drinking. and you'll wake up and you'll feel a bit ungover and you know, that's that. Or you can go and do this one and then this is a choice and you can wake up and you feel fresh and you know, you've still had a great time and yeah, you've got a choice. So it doesn't have to be one way or the other. But I think the biggest thing that hit me was the amount of amazing people out there doing brilliant work in small little pockets of coaching, of therapy, of nutrition, of anything to do with empowering people as to how they can find or they can do different things to look after and find what works for them. So I was, it drove me a bit mad for like about six months and I just said, right, I'm going to... There's nothing there, there's nothing here in the UK that basically everything sits in one place. Everything is basically in one sort of community. So I said, well, if there isn't one, I'll build it. So that's exactly what I've done. So Clarity Circle was built six months ago now and we're just next week launching version two of it, which has basically been listening to feedback and changing things slightly, developing, adapting. We've now got over 50 expert partners on there from events companies to coaches to therapists to nutritionists to menopause specialists to absolutely Erica+ShameOver: No. alex: anything. And we continue to bring in more partners, more coaches, more events. And we're just building this. ecosystem I'm calling it of a community, of a wellbeing and empowering people, empowering people to basically try different things, to actually be Erica+ShameOver: then. alex: open to doing a bit of work on themselves, actually having a place where they can come and go, I have been feeling like this or been struggling with this and realised that However you feel or whatever you are going through, there is always somebody else who either relates to you or has Erica+ShameOver: So. alex: walked in your shoes. And it doesn't matter because I meet so many people who go, in my head, it was always just me. I was the only one. And I'm going, my gosh, no, you're not. It doesn't matter what you're going through, how you're feeling at that time, you are not the only one. And we have like inspirational clips within the platform that basically speak about, know, it could be eating disorders, could be anything. You know, like literally thinking off the top of my head, but there's anything on there from mental health to absolutely anything. We've Erica+ShameOver: amazing. alex: got coaches on there that work with coaching parents. how to connect with the kids better, how to basically be able to get the best for them and the kids. So it's not just, it's about any aspect that you might struggle with. We've got mental health sports coaches. We've got like almost, I'm trying to think of, and also we've got a feedback thing. If we're missing something, us. If you want something else on here, tell us. it's like, yeah, so it's, pretty exciting to be honest. Erica+ShameOver: That's amazing. alex: Yeah, but it is. But one of the biggest things and the biggest statement that I am making is whatever happens, however big I manage to take this, there will always be a free version available to anybody and everybody within inside the world. I will always allow, no matter what, anybody and everybody to have access to a free version because it doesn't matter who you are, what you've got or where you're from, every single person should have the ability to have some support in one way, shape or form, no matter what they're going through. And that's like Erica+ShameOver: you alex: my mission. So yes, down Erica+ShameOver: I love that. alex: the line. There might have to be paid versions and VIP versions and we're building bespoke models for businesses and plugging lots of different stuff into lots of different communities and stuff like that. But I will always, always have that because that is what I've been sent to do. Erica+ShameOver: I love that. I recently started a drink tracking app that I have the same thing with it that I like, I could charge for this, but at least the, the drink tracker portion of it will always be free at least as of right now, because same thing, like this is something that I feel like everyone should have access to. And it's something so small that can make such alex: Thank you. Erica+ShameOver: a difference that Why would you know, like, we're, our purpose is very similar as far as like just helping people be better selves, better this. alex: Yeah, yeah, and just a bit of guidance, just a bit of support, just a bit of, you know, whatever it may be. And, you know, I think the biggest thing for me is hearing feedback or being told that people have come and gone to different events, people are connecting, people have reached out and are getting some help. you know, Erica+ShameOver: you alex: that for me is like the it's working. It's working. Erica+ShameOver: Yes. alex: And these are the tiny little small bits that I hear about. you know, and I'm only ever going to hear about a tiny little bit of it. And that's okay. That's okay. Erica+ShameOver: Yes. Yeah. alex: You know, I don't need to hear about everything. I don't need to have every single update or anything. That's okay. As long as I know that I can see that it's working and that people are getting some support, people that's making a difference and, you know, then that's amazing. That's Erica+ShameOver: Yes. alex: amazing. And then you just have to trust the process that it will grow as fast, as quick, as big as it's meant to grow. And I've got to be patient and just allow it to happen. And that's been a lesson for me because... Erica+ShameOver: You and me, House. alex: Like every, and I say like every addict, like every addict, want it like, yesterday and my whole life has been like five million miles an hour. And now it's Erica+ShameOver: Thank alex: like seeing this grow over the last few years and you're bringing everything together and building this structure, foundations are like Erica+ShameOver: you alex: such amazing things. And you have those days where it's like, they're gonna be fine. And then it's like, it's quiet. And then, my God, it's fine. It's okay. It's okay. You know, and all of it's okay and it's like, let's just roll with it and accept Erica+ShameOver: Yes. alex: that it'll happen when it's meant to happen and it'll happen at the pace that it's meant to happen and that's okay. Erica+ShameOver: Yes. I do want to ask you one more thing because I love that the events that I don't know if you advertise it is like a sober night or anything, but I'm very curious about it because I know that especially when people are taking a period off or they decide that they're done drinking or whatever it is, finding things to do that don't revolve around alcohol can be very tricky. And even for myself, I learned like I say make time for play, but it is very hard to do alex: you Erica+ShameOver: that when all of your play quote unquote has been done with alcohol. So how, one, are you still doing alex: Thank Erica+ShameOver: these events? Is that part of kind of what you're doing? How have you personally found, you know, I know alex: Thanks. Erica+ShameOver: you mentioned boxing and some, some other things, but maybe some other ideas for people for things that they can do that aren't centered around alcohol where you can still connect with others or connect with alex: you Erica+ShameOver: yourself. have fun, that type thing. Because it's the childlike essence is so important. alex: I think that's... of course it is. It's so needed and it's almost... I think about... I was chatting to a... I went to a wellness festival a couple of months ago and I was chatting to a girl there who's basically one of their advocates, etc. And she was dead honest and said that she moved to London and all their friends were like, the drinking culture. And she decided that... she didn't want to do that anymore. And she wanted to find a new sort of community and she stepped out of her comfort zone and she went and, you know, connected with this new wellness, you know, festival and basically all the different, found like some new friends and new connections. And I think it's about stepping out of your comfort zone. You know, actually, it's okay to go and basically make new friends. It's okay to walk into a room full of strangers. Actually, what you find is if you are going to things that are about well-being, about wellness, about, you know, trying something new and different, the community and the people that are there are all on the same page. Every single one of the events that I've gone to, whether it's a coffee rave, whether it's a wellness festival, whether it's a sober party, whether it's an alcohol-free night out, everybody Because there's no mind or in substance, everybody connects and treats you so nicely. To the point where I actually interviewed some staff who worked at some of our events and Erica+ShameOver: knew it. alex: worked at some different events like the coffee raid and stuff. And they openly spoke about how much easier, how much nicer, how much more they... Erica+ShameOver: I'm sure. alex: and they enjoyed it as individuals working those events. And that speaks volumes in itself. That speaks volumes. Erica+ShameOver: 100 % yes. alex: People are enjoying working the events more than imagining what the people who are going, connecting, chatting. And it's also being brave enough, you know, to step, to take that step like sober dancing for me. At the very beginning I was like, my gosh, Erica+ShameOver: Uh-huh. alex: my gosh. And I was like, well, I don't care. I'm not gonna do something that I enjoy doing because I am gonna worry about what other people think. So I'm gonna stack up my comfort zone and I'm gonna do it. And now I'm like, first one on the dance floor, dancing away, absolutely loving it. Do I care what other people think? No. because I'm doing it for myself because I enjoy it. I enjoy it and I want to have fun and I like music, I like dancing, so I'm going to dance and that's great. And I encourage other people to dance and I'll take people who are feeling a bit shy up with me and go come on, you know, basically and I remember getting a few different people dancing. And at first they were like, no, no, no. And then at the end they were like, my God, I had such a good dance. That was really good. Erica+ShameOver: Yeah. alex: And nobody's there to judge you. This is what we think in our minds. Nobody's there. And especially when people are not drinking, because when people are drinking, it's a mind or in substance and you don't always know what you're gonna get. So people can behave differently to how they would do normally. But in the cold light of day, when there's no mind-opening substances, people are lot nicer to each other. Erica+ShameOver: So much so, yes. And it's, it's like, totally agree on the judgment thing because we are so in our own heads worried about other people's judgment that no one's really judging each other because we're so worried about we're in our own space. And the ones who are, they're going to be no matter what. So just let them do their alex: Congrats! Erica+ShameOver: thing and like, you know, block that off because those people are just miserable. And it is, they're so afraid of looking at themselves that they're just, you know, so but Exactly. Yeah, those are the people who want to care about their judgment anyway. awesome. Well, thank you. This was such an absolute pleasure. want to make sure how can people find you anything that I didn't cover that you want to make sure we share real fast or anything along those lines. alex: Yeah, well obviously the main website is clarity.co.uk with T-double-E for T-Total. And then obviously you'll find the link to Clarity Circle. We're on Instagram, we're on TikTok. You'll find me on LinkedIn if you wanna check me out, you know, with all the stuff. We are doing a lot. We're doing a lot. We are connecting with so many people across the UK, now America. Erica+ShameOver: was going to say, obviously if you're not in the UK, can still be a part of it. alex: You can still be a part of this 100 % and ultimately we're inside, I'm not going to put a time on it because I'm not allowed to put a time on it because that's issue. Erica+ShameOver: Yeah. alex: But we will be across the world, we will be across the world and we will be showcasing, shining a light, shouting about so many amazing things to do in so many different places because why not? Why not? And it's needed. it's needed. We have Erica+ShameOver: Yeah, very much so. alex: a couple of things that you can do inside our community where you can rate yourself, how you're feeling today. And we give you, so you have a scoring system of one to 10 and your rate, you know, if I'm feeling a bit low or if I'm feeling in the middle or if I'm feeling pretty damn good today. And we'll give you off the back of your number that you pick, because we don't want anybody to have to fill in loads and we don't want anybody to have to say, you know, or the way that they might not feel comfortable with. So it's, and then we'll give you a bit of inspiration. We'll give you some free resources that you might want to take away and that might help you. And we'll also give you the, if they don't work, some experts or some partners that you can get up with and, know, go and basically, you know, speak to one-on-one. So Erica+ShameOver: Amazing. alex: yeah, it's, we're on a mission. We're on a mission. So we will see. We need to get you on there as a partner as well. Erica+ShameOver: would love to. Yes, it sounds absolutely incredible. And I'm just so honored to be having this conversation and sharing more about the work that you're doing. Like, it's just, it's incredible. alex: At this stage, listen, I have a massive mission ahead of me. It's just step by step, step by step. It's like my recovery, it's day by day and step by step. Erica+ShameOver: And with that, it takes a lot of patience, which, whew, we both know how tough that can be. alex: Yeah, exactly. But it's okay. It's okay. And that's why I always say it's okay. So it is. Erica+ShameOver: Yeah, exactly. Sustainability. alex: Yeah, exactly. 100%. Erica+ShameOver: Amazing. Well, thank you so much for your time and most of all for all that you're doing to make this world better. So alex: you Erica+ShameOver: really appreciate you. alex: My pleasure, absolute pleasure, we've loved Chanthi, so thank you very much. Erica+ShameOver: Thank you so much for being here for the this three-part episode with Alex of the Clarity app. I am just so honored to be a part of this and everything that he is doing to create such a safe space for us all. So check it out. I will provide links in the show notes on how to get started, learn more, all of that good stuff. And if you are interested in healing your relationship with alcohol, That is a great place to go. Otherwise, obviously check out Shameover. It's exactly what I'm here for to help you truly transform your relationship with alcohol and yourself. go to shameover.me slash quiz. Take the drinker type quiz today. You'll understand a little bit of your triggers, what's going on, along with finding out some ways that you can easily start adapting to start drinking less today. So with that, we'll see you next time. Cheers.