Latest / Authentic Living / Beating the Odds with Resiliency Expert, Kendal Netmaker
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
- 0:08things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:11And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:33Hi, everyone.
- 0:36It's Roxanne Derhodge Authentic Living with Roxanne.
- 0:38Thanks for tuning again this week.
- 0:40Today, I have a colleague Kendall, and I I think that about it was about 2 years ago,
- 0:45Kendall.
- 0:46I think About
- 0:462 years ago.
- 0:47Yeah.
- 0:48Yeah.
- 0:48We, work with, the same coach who's a phenomenal coach.
- 0:52Her name is, Jane Atkinson, and, she had one of her retreats, and that's where, for the first
- 0:58time I met Kendall, who was Canadian, and I'm Canadian, and we were, in Cape Coral, which was
- 1:04a nice place to be.
- 1:05So Kendall is, I'm gonna say an amazing young man, and I I actually had the privilege of
- 1:10meeting a sister who I understand now speaks, which I did not know that Kendall.
- 1:16And, you know, so just recently in London at the, Canadian Association professional
- 1:21speakers.
- 1:21So can I speaks on something that's really dear to my heart, and my background, in mental
- 1:29well-being and beating the odds, and he speaks about resilience?
- 1:34So this is an amazing young man who has done fantastic things, started a business quite a
- 1:39long time ago initially, with a retail and then has gone on to become, just recently won an
- 1:46award, for the 40 under 40, which are leaders and entrepreneurs, in Canada.
- 1:53And I'm gonna have, Kendall tell us a little bit more about anything that I've missed there,
- 1:58Ken.
- 1:58So you you tell me what I've missed that, people should know about you.
- 2:03Well, primarily I speak now.
- 2:04I do a lot notes across the country primarily in Canada from the west of the East Coast on
- 2:09just what you said resilience in leadership in the workplace.
- 2:13And it's been keeping me busier for the last 3 years.
- 2:16You know, I I really went full time into it almost 3 years ago.
- 2:20I went from the, starting my own apparel company, selling hoodies, t shirts, some of my
- 2:25own branded products, having my own stores, and then being a hamster in this wheel for so long
- 2:31and just trying to manage all these stores.
- 2:33So and, you know, I had over 100 staff over the, the term of that of that run with all of
- 2:39our stores and learning a lot of things about different people and, and customers and how to
- 2:44deal with them and how to, to keep people coming back again and again And I transfer that
- 2:49into my keynotes and all the research that I've done up into that point.
- 2:52And we've been able to help a lot of people, organizations across this country to date.
- 2:57I published my own book, driven to succeed on basically my own resilience story of what we've
- 3:01overcome as, as children with myself, my sisters in the book as well, and with her
- 3:06story.
- 3:07And, we're just we're just here to try and to, you know, make the people's lives, their
- 3:11business lives, their their their their relationships better.
- 3:15And if I can do my bet my part in in sharing what I know in my story, my journey, and help
- 3:20ignite something within someone else.
- 3:21I think we've done our job today.
- 3:24So I had the privilege of hearing you tell your story in Florida.
- 3:29And I would love for you to share a bit of that, because I think it's a phenomenal story
- 3:35about how people can make a difference.
- 3:38In in some sometimes your story, I remember being quite touched by it.
- 3:43So share a little bit of that so that people understand kind of the context of of, where
- 3:49you're from.
- 3:50Yeah.
- 3:50So so 1st and foremost, money, I'm from a 1st Nation called Sweetgrass First Nation in
- 3:55Saskatchewan.
- 3:56And, I was raised there single parenting by my mom ever since I was about five years old when
- 4:01we My mother and my father split up.
- 4:04And from right after they split up, we were living in a woman shelters for, for several
- 4:09weeks.
- 4:09And basically homeless shelters for single mothers with their children.
- 4:13And we were bounced around these shelters for, several weeks and eventually made our way back
- 4:17to my mother's home reserve, which was sweetgrass.
- 4:19Or my, my grandma, and we call her Kookum in our language.
- 4:22So we live with our Kookum, and she took us into her home, and we lived there for for
- 4:26several months.
- 4:27And then we finally got a little house on the reserve, a 2 bedroom house.
- 4:315 of us, my, I'm the oldest in my family.
- 4:33Then there's Kendra, Fair, and Marisha, my mom.
- 4:36And so we all live in that house up until I graduated high school.
- 4:40During that time, we, we had a lot of struggles that I thought were just normal.
- 4:45I was a kid just growing up in this, you know, this lifestyle that I didn't realize where we
- 4:50were going through so much because I was a kid.
- 4:52My mom did a really good job of I've taken on that burden, I guess we'll say, and not letting
- 4:57it affect the kids.
- 4:59And by her doing that, she was able to to sacrifice a lot for us so we can you know, have
- 5:04a chance to succeed today.
- 5:06And, to me, I, I like to say that I'm, I'm a product of her sacrifice for for a lot of us.
- 5:11And so is Kendra.
- 5:12She is a, you know, we're able to speak now because of it.
- 5:15We're I was able to graduate university to, to be just our businesses, you know, with the top
- 5:2040, all the stuff, but because of, we had someone back home that we can rely on.
- 5:25So in grade 5, I was going a little farming community to get and bust there every day.
- 5:29And I had a best friend.
- 5:31His name was Yohan, and Yohan was a kid from South Africa.
- 5:35And we just happened to be going to the same school at the same time.
- 5:38His dad was a doctor at the local clinic, and we happen to be both like soccer.
- 5:43So one day he asked me why I wasn't playing soccer after school.
- 5:46And right when I was gonna jump on my bus to go back home, I had to explain to Yohan that that
- 5:53bus I just pulled up was my only ride tune from my reserve, my community, and we're living on
- 5:58welfare.
- 5:59We're living on social assistance.
- 6:01And I used to, I used to see my mother budget that that welfare check to the right down to
- 6:06the the dollar.
- 6:07So I was watching her on a table and she would be budgeting all this stuff and she had she do
- 6:12was able to develop her own shorthand writing, so I couldn't really understand half of it.
- 6:16So she was very my mom is a very smart person, but she'll never admit it.
- 6:20And so I'd used to watch her do all this and then, I told Johan, I opened up to my best
- 6:26friend.
- 6:26I said, you know what, Johan?
- 6:27Aside from that, we're also collecting cans and bottles.
- 6:30We're we're exchanging them to the recycling plan for change, I I have a bike I like to
- 6:35ride.
- 6:36I only get that for 2 weeks of the month because the other 2 weeks he goes into the pawn
- 6:39shop, I told him about, you know, some of the houses we have mold in our basement, in our
- 6:44houses, a lot of our houses that weren't built to standard, they were just kind of built just
- 6:48enough to live in.
- 6:51Every week.
- 6:52There's a water advisory, so we can't drink our water every week.
- 6:54And I still do I I just did some filming it 2 days ago in in our reserve.
- 6:58I went back a film crew.
- 6:59Wow.
- 7:00With with with video narrative.
- 7:02I don't know if you know video narrative.
- 7:03Yes.
- 7:04Yes.
- 7:04I do.
- 7:04Yes.
- 7:05Well, I hired them to come and do a video for me, and, he brought one of his guys, Brian from
- 7:11Portland, he flew into Saskatoon.
- 7:13We drove 2 hours away to my reserve, and we went there.
- 7:16And what what is the first thing that we see on the the community center door.
- 7:21Do not drink the water.
- 7:22This is a boil, wall of water advisory.
- 7:24So the stuff that we we we are dealing with is was normal to me, I guess.
- 7:31So I told my buddy Johan and him and his family, they they took it upon themselves.
- 7:34It kinda helped me out.
- 7:36They, they pay for my soccer fee.
- 7:38They drove me to games and practices.
- 7:40We became best friends for 2 years.
- 7:42I was at his house almost every single weekend, dad became my role model.
- 7:45He's just used to compliment me all the time, uplift me when I couldn't do that myself.
- 7:50And my, me and my, my own dad, we had a very, I didn't see him a lot.
- 7:54So I never had that.
- 7:55I was saying I wasn't able to bond with him like that where he was able to tell me things
- 8:00where I could really, How can I say that?
- 8:04Where I can really truly, I appreciate the words that were coming out of his mouth, and I
- 8:07can absorb them.
- 8:08So if you, like, you never really said, you know, I'm I'm really, I'm proud of and I know
- 8:11I'm happy that you do.
- 8:12He was he wasn't like that, but that was how he that's all he knew about parenting.
- 8:16So I I get that as as I became an adult.
- 8:19He had his own upbringing that, he had to overcome a lot of things as a kid.
- 8:24So when for the 2 years, I was going to Yohan's house all the time and his, they actually had
- 8:32to move away to Saskatoon, so another 2 hours away.
- 8:35And Before they left, they gave us a 1986 Ford Crown Victoria that was sitting in their yard,
- 8:41and it was a burgundy red car.
- 8:43That, they gave to my mother so we can continue to play sports and, you know, the rest of the
- 8:49story.
- 8:49So so much, good came from that family, but the the the the thing I want people to to hear,
- 8:56they didn't give that vehicle to me.
- 8:58They gave it to my mother because they saw something in my mother.
- 9:01Saw this sacrifice because they're able to under, they're able to, to, you know, get to
- 9:06know my mother and, and what she was doing for us.
- 9:09You know, leaders recognize other hardworking people who are trying to get ahead.
- 9:15Mhmm.
- 9:15When you get to a certain point in your life and your business, you can see, you can pick up
- 9:20people in your organization, your family members even, and you know who's really trying
- 9:24their best to make things work.
- 9:25And they're giving everything that they can.
- 9:27And sometimes all I need is a little push, a little nudge.
- 9:30So they saw that in my mom, and that's what they they did for us.
- 9:34And, it obviously, you know, it paid off.
- 9:37Look at me.
- 9:38Like, I'm able to be here today with you.
- 9:40Right?
- 9:40So, it's crazy.
- 9:42It's just crazy.
- 9:42Yeah.
- 9:43It's it's amazing.
- 9:44I wouldn't say crazy, Kendall, because I'm gonna say, and I'm gonna ask you this question
- 9:48as, with my background, resilience is something, that you you emulate, right, as a
- 9:56young child, you must have learned certain things from your mom.
- 10:00And, obviously, you talked about a little bit about from Johan's family to and just from
- 10:05Johan, just that connection.
- 10:07Tell me what you think the key elements are to resilience because you're you're a role model,
- 10:12a young man that I feel privileged to be around you to see you do this out there.
- 10:17And you're speaking to other people out there that have had similar backgrounds.
- 10:21And they they think I'm not good enough.
- 10:24I can't do it.
- 10:26You know, nobody cares about me.
- 10:28All those things.
- 10:29Yeah.
- 10:30The first the first step is is you have to do a mental shift in your mindset.
- 10:34You have to go from stop playing the victim to, to taking control of wherever it is that you
- 10:39can presently take control in your life.
- 10:41And for myself, I, I, I played that victim card for a long time where I I thought that, you
- 10:46know, I was not meant for success.
- 10:49I thought that, I was going to end up like a lot of my people in my community who kinda just
- 10:55hung around and didn't really do a whole lot beyond that.
- 10:58And so when you start to, when you grow up in, in a, in circumstances where they're not as
- 11:04favorable as most people that you look up to or that you wish you were living like.
- 11:09That starts to play with your mind and conditioned you to to not really think big.
- 11:14So when I started to get into sports, especially sports kind of allowed me to, to see
- 11:19the bigger picture because I would get a chance to go and be around different families.
- 11:23So for example, like, if my if if my friends were on the same team as me, and I was always,
- 11:27like, the always first only 1st nations kid on everything in my life.
- 11:31So that was one thing I had to overcome was getting used to being uncomfortable in a
- 11:35situation where I'm the minority all the time.
- 11:37Mhmm.
- 11:38And it that really bothered me so long.
- 11:41So when I got into business, I really wanted to try to create more business owners and try to
- 11:45help people.
- 11:45And we were able to do that, which is really cool.
- 11:47But back then, I was able to have a lot of non indigenous family members around me.
- 11:52Sometimes I go to their house, you know, and I'd be like, wow, this is a beautiful house.
- 11:55So I was expanded by association.
- 12:00And seeing what they did, how they interacted, what they talked about, their conversations,
- 12:06and it expanded my mind to kind of think bigger slowly over time.
- 12:10So by the time I was able to get in university, my mind was already, you know, maybe I can
- 12:14become a teacher.
- 12:15Maybe I can become a phys ed teacher.
- 12:17And then throughout university, then it be it it manifested into maybe I can start a
- 12:20business.
- 12:21Maybe I can start this business.
- 12:23And then when I go out to business, maybe I can actually create a really successful business.
- 12:27And then from there, it went to, wait.
- 12:28I could actually like speaking.
- 12:30I I'm gonna tell my story through this business.
- 12:31I mean, hey.
- 12:32Actually, I like speaking.
- 12:33Right?
- 12:34Man, you know, I I actually want a nice home for my family, you know, and I started to
- 12:38really develop the the vision up here of what I wanted in my life.
- 12:43And it's still growing.
- 12:45Right?
- 12:45I still now it's like, okay.
- 12:47Where do I want to see myself as a speaker?
- 12:49So the the clear you can get on where you want to go in your life.
- 12:53The clear you can see it.
- 12:55You work backwards on what do I need to do to get there?
- 12:58And it sounds It's it's it honestly is is it's it can it can be as simple as you want it to
- 13:05be.
- 13:05A lot of people make things complicated because there's they're so used to be, like, being
- 13:08complicated for them.
- 13:10And if you want things to be simple, it can, but you have to convince yourself up here first
- 13:14to make it simple.
- 13:16So I write my goals down every year.
- 13:18So every year I three goals for, that I wanna achieve for the year.
- 13:23So of this year, I said I wanted to just a second.
- 13:29I wanted to have 40 paid keynote engagements.
- 13:34I was a few shy of that, so we almost hit that goal.
- 13:38What was the next one?
- 13:39Hold on a second.
- 13:41Where was that?
- 13:43I wanted to make the high income earners club head caps.
- 13:46So that was, like, one of them.
- 13:47Because actually in caps, I was there.
- 13:49That was my 3rd year in a Roxanne the 1st year, I was just a new new speaker.
- 13:53So I was able to make that, that group, which is pretty cool.
- 13:58And the next one was I wanted to expand my coaching practice.
- 14:03So I started doing that as well this year.
- 14:05So those were the 3 goals I had for this past 2019, and we've been able to pretty much hit
- 14:11them.
- 14:11So So
- 14:12let's let's talk about mindset because you're like, I'm I'm thinking that there's a lot of
- 14:17kids that can relate to your experience either from First Nations.
- 14:20I'm from, I'm from Trinidad Tobago.
- 14:22I don't even know if you know that.
- 14:24I grew up privileged.
- 14:25You know, and so I grew up elsewhere where I saw everybody in authority being a different
- 14:31color from me from my prime minister to my president, to my dentist, all that stuff.
- 14:35So when I came to North America as a foreign student and when I saw how people looked at
- 14:41Mhmm.
- 14:41Difference.
- 14:42I went, wow.
- 14:43Why can't they see that you're capable of things Yeah.
- 14:48That I had seen, right, because I grew up colonialism.
- 14:51Right?
- 14:51I did in the islands, but I grew up being told you can do anything you wanna do.
- 14:56Right.
- 14:56So when I came here, I was like, why do people not think they can go to university?
- 15:01That's kinda why I'm here.
- 15:02Like, so for anybody listening that, you know, is indigenous or Yeah.
- 15:09Maybe foreign or not foreign, just growing up with, you know, underprivileged.
- 15:13And that chatter in your head is I'm not good enough.
- 15:17I don't belong.
- 15:18I can't do.
- 15:19What did you actually do to quiet that voice?
- 15:23And shift it to say this is possible for me, Kendall.
- 15:27There was a few things.
- 15:28You know, one of them was I I got tired of the the pain of it.
- 15:33The pain became too much of not, I've always felt like I was there were so many people that
- 15:43gave me an opportunity to possibly have a chance from coaches to Johan's parents, my own
- 15:51mom, my grandma, so I felt like I was gonna let them down, and I didn't wanna let them down.
- 15:58And so that that kind of played into, okay, I I I need to think bigger.
- 16:03I need to try, actually.
- 16:04Maybe I should go to school.
- 16:05You know, I in in grade 10, I never even thought a university.
- 16:08So my mind was so closed.
- 16:09Right?
- 16:10I never thought of beyond that.
- 16:11And as as, like, using your gift is is so important.
- 16:16Everyone has a gift.
- 16:17And for me, it was sports at them.
- 16:19Time.
- 16:19And I use sports as a gateway to get me into, to, to, you know, to, to play more multiple
- 16:24sports.
- 16:24And I excelled in those sports.
- 16:26I played college volleyball.
- 16:27And that sport allowed me to build confidence in myself to be able to be more vocal.
- 16:31You know, I was always the shyest kid, believe it or not, Brooks.
- 16:34I was the shyest kid in the room all the time.
- 16:35I was like, I
- 16:37Not not I find hard to believe because you did not come across as shy.
- 16:40I I I had to do a whole shift and everything.
- 16:43Like, I'm a new person, but at the same person at the same time, with the same roots, just a
- 16:48different person so I can succeed out here.
- 16:50So everything had to shift.
- 16:52And so the pain the pain was a a point for me where I I wanted to just do what I could live
- 16:58up to what my what I think I can achieve with my life.
- 17:03And then when I finally started to get momentum, it was okay.
- 17:07There's no one that's ever done this from my background.
- 17:09Like, like, I have no role models.
- 17:11I have to be that role model.
- 17:13I have no choice.
- 17:14So it's always been tougher for me.
- 17:16Like, is this the is this the way of my life span?
- 17:17It's been and I just been, you know, I embrace it now.
- 17:20Like, okay.
- 17:20It's gonna be tough, I'm gonna give it everything I can so the next person can take it
- 17:24further further and further.
- 17:26And hopefully, we can I could help more people from my background?
- 17:30So you can create that path because you think I'm 1st and I want, I mean, obviously, you have
- 17:362 little two little girls.
- 17:38Right?
- 17:38Boy and a girl.
- 17:39Yeah.
- 17:39Boy and a girl.
- 17:40So you have you have those little ones like sponges, watching daddy, and what he's doing.
- 17:45Right?
- 17:46Yeah.
- 17:46And watching their aunt now, creating that space.
- 17:50So for anybody listening, You started your business before you started speaking.
- 17:56Right.
- 17:57What was the kind of the thinking behind the, that maker, gear?
- 18:03Enterprise.
- 18:03Yeah.
- 18:04So the first company was called Nyingchi Gear.
- 18:06So Nyingchi is a slang form of friend in our language.
- 18:08So it's like friend gear.
- 18:10And I started that as a full time student, in education, so I didn't become a teacher.
- 18:15And the the the reason I started it because I got intrigued by business plan competition.
- 18:19And I that's when they were really starting to come out in the prairies.
- 18:23And I was like, I should try this out and see what happens, but I had no idea how to write a
- 18:26business plan.
- 18:27Right?
- 18:27So I'm at I'm so here's another game of a mindset.
- 18:30Most people when they get into my to business, they think I need a business degree.
- 18:35I can't start a business without business training.
- 18:37You know, I think about I'm thinking about going back to school, I guess, all the time.
- 18:39I'm thinking about going back to school to get some business degree or diploma so I can start
- 18:44a business one of the biggest myths out there about business or even becoming a speaker, you
- 18:48know, I need to be polished or whatever.
- 18:50No.
- 18:50You get polished by doing it on the all the time.
- 18:53Like, you grow.
- 18:54I was a horrible speaker when I first started acting role.
- 18:57And, when we were in, in 2000 and, 10.
- 19:04I started my first company, and it was it failed.
- 19:07I ran into some, trademark issues.
- 19:09I couldn't I couldn't trademark the name, and I have to close it down.
- 19:132011 comes around.
- 19:14I redo my business plan.
- 19:16I take people out for coffee.
- 19:17I didn't know how to write a business plan, so I sit there with a notepad and notes, how to
- 19:20write this business plan.
- 19:21I bought some software.
- 19:22I put the business plan on there.
- 19:23I presented it to all these judges.
- 19:25They picked me as a finalist.
- 19:26And when I finally got on the stage, I had to learn how to do a business pitch I was
- 19:30terrified.
- 19:30I didn't know what I was doing.
- 19:31So I had to do, like, research on Reagan's Dan and Shark Tank, and I would sit there in in
- 19:36classrooms late at night, and they practice on in an empty classroom until I finally had the
- 19:40confidence to step out on stage.
- 19:42And when I finally got there, there was one thing that separated us from everyone else.
- 19:45We had a unique purpose driven story.
- 19:48And the purpose driven story of how Johan impacted me and how we wanted to impact
- 19:53thousands of people out there through a clothing brand.
- 19:56It ignited something in all those judges.
- 19:58We were the only one to do that.
- 19:59So we didn't win all those competitions, but we won money in all mostly all of them.
- 20:04So we're able to take that money back at the the about 16,000 the 1st year, we we won.
- 20:09And when I was able to buy clothing, I was able to buy apparel designs, create a website.
- 20:14Started to sell out of my one bedroom apartment in Saskatoon.
- 20:17And from department, we went to a little, little office.
- 20:20I took a little office outside my apartment.
- 20:22Because my son was born now, and, you know, we needed more space in our apartment.
- 20:25And I was like, are we really scrambling?
- 20:27And then the from the from the office.
- 20:30We took a little kiosk in the mall, so we had a little cart there.
- 20:32And then the cart, we took it to a a full store in the mall, then we had another store in a
- 20:36different city.
- 20:37A different city.
- 20:38Then we started to wholesale to other retailers, and we opened up a online store, and
- 20:42we were selling, Canada wide into North America and so on.
- 20:46And then I got into speaking.
- 20:48And, so so speaking was a result of me starting Nichig here.
- 20:53And, that was again another journey by itself, and it led us here.
- 20:58So
- 20:59So you know how to build businesses.
- 21:01You've
- 21:01taught you've taught yourself how to build.
- 21:04So you built Nichigir and now you've, you you've you've built your your speaking
- 21:08business.
- 21:09Right.
- 21:09So I would say that you didn't need an MBA to be able to do that.
- 21:13No.
- 21:13You you gotta be driven.
- 21:15Yeah.
- 21:15That's the that's the word back there.
- 21:16Right?
- 21:17You have to be first off, you have to make a decision.
- 21:20The decision is the hardest part for some people.
- 21:23The reason why most people don't live up to their expectation or their potential is because
- 21:28they haven't given a 100% to that decision that they should make.
- 21:31They go half in, half foot in, half foot out.
- 21:34And if you're gonna do that, then you're only gonna get maximum 50% of your potential into
- 21:39that idea.
- 21:40So let's pretend you wanted to start a project and maybe you wanted to start your own business
- 21:44or a nonprofit, whatever it might be.
- 21:46And you do it as a little site gig for a while, you know, put a little bit effort here over the
- 21:50years in, but it doesn't really go to where you expect.
- 21:52You get discouraged, right?
- 21:54Well, you're discouraged because you haven't given every all your energy.
- 21:57You're too busy doing project a, b, c, d, and e, e, and f.
- 22:01When I got into all my businesses, there was one thing that made it successful.
- 22:06I had to commit everything I had in my energy to every business I started, from Nichigir to
- 22:12every store, to the speaking business, to writing this book, to creating this coaching
- 22:18company and every other project in between, I'm a 100% laser focused into all my energies into
- 22:23it.
- 22:24So if it fails and hopefully it doesn't, then at least I know I've given it everything I had.
- 22:29It's kinda like in sports.
- 22:31All you can do is give it everything you have.
- 22:33If you if you lose, it's not the same feeling as maybe you lost, but you you know you could
- 22:38have did better.
- 22:38That's the worst feeling.
- 22:40So in business and in life, it's the very much the same thing.
- 22:43Give it everything you have.
- 22:44What, like, that's the best.
- 22:46That's all we can do at the end of the day.
- 22:47Give it everything everything that you get.
- 22:49So do you have a ritual that you follow to keep laser focused?
- 22:54Cause I'm curious about that because I I'm gonna say, and we know that.
- 22:57Right?
- 22:57We have 60,000 thoughts in a day.
- 23:00Yeah.
- 23:00And a lot of them could kind of it could sidetrack you.
- 23:03Right?
- 23:03Oh, I needed to go see that friend or
- 23:05Yeah.
- 23:05Oh, I'm not gonna make that prospect call or I'm not gonna try to get on that big stage
- 23:10because they're gonna say no.
- 23:12We always have detractors.
- 23:13How do you state laser focused To stay to stay stay driven like you're
- 23:19Yeah.
- 23:20How do you do it?
- 23:21So I write a lot of things out from, like, personally, the everyone's different.
- 23:24For me, I like to write things out And on my wall back there, you can't see it.
- 23:29It's kind of my own personal.
- 23:31I have everything that I'm focusing on in my business.
- 23:34I have my daily mantra, right, so that that that that reminds me of what I'm trying to
- 23:38achieve.
- 23:39I have all of my products that I'm trying sell.
- 23:42So if a email comes through, I know what I'm gonna pitch to that person from my speaking to
- 23:47my coaching, to my online series, to my online course, and and and all my other products.
- 23:53I have my 4 point, coaching question that that converts really well.
- 24:00So I have I have I've created systems, I guess, for myself that allow me to to stay focused.
- 24:05And every day, that, you know, especially when you're on the road and you're speaking, you
- 24:10probably know this, Roxanne, when you're on the road, you're you're very limited to what you
- 24:13can accomplish unless you have an assistant to which most people most of us have a really hard
- 24:17time finding a really good one.
- 24:19You can really only commit to one major thing every day, and you focus on that one thing.
- 24:24And that might branch out to maybe 2 or 3 other things below that.
- 24:28But the one thing you have to stay laser focused, at least accomplish that thing.
- 24:32That's how you keep your momentum going every if you miss that one thing, your momentum
- 24:36starts to slip.
- 24:37So focus on the one key thing, and it it there's a book that I read.
- 24:41It's called the one thing.
- 24:42Read that book.
- 24:43Yeah.
- 24:43It's amazing And it's all boosting laser focus by focusing on one thing a day, and it trains
- 24:49your mind that you're achieving all the time.
- 24:51And that you're getting there.
- 24:52You're getting there.
- 24:52Because if you have 3, 5 things in your to do list, it's really easy to miss a couple of
- 24:56them.
- 24:56It's really easy to get discouraged from that too.
- 24:59Subconsciously, you might get discouraged and not even knowing that you're getting
- 25:02discouraged.
- 25:03But if you're achieving that one major thing every day, you, you know, you have written
- 25:06down, Kate, today, I'm gonna make my my podcast with Kendall.
- 25:08Right?
- 25:09And that's the main thing today.
- 25:10We're gonna get going.
- 25:11Tomorrow, we're gonna do, I'm gonna make you know, I have to send that email to that client
- 25:15or that's just proposal.
- 25:16That's the main thing I'm gonna head to tomorrow.
- 25:18You're achieving every day, and that momentum starts to build and manifest over time into
- 25:22bigger things.
- 25:23So that's the key.
- 25:25Pretty amazing.
- 25:26Right?
- 25:26Because, you know, we talk so much, and most of us are split.
- 25:30Right?
- 25:30We have all these goals and you took one thing and you said, it sounds like this year, you
- 25:36decided that keynoting was what you were gonna do, and that's all you you did.
- 25:40And you accomplished, like you said, you were 1 or 2 speaking events off, which is amazing
- 25:45because you started speaking how long ago?
- 25:48Full time about 3 years ago, roughly.
- 25:50Okay.
- 25:50And the the reality is is I didn't realize this.
- 25:54I've always been in the speaking business some in some way because when I first got into it, I
- 25:59was already kind of speaking at local schools but I was just trying to sell t shirts.
- 26:03I wasn't getting paid ever to speak when I first started.
- 26:05I was just trying to, yeah, I'd love to come to your high school and speak to your your your
- 26:09youth.
- 26:09You know, do you mind if I bring, you know, a couple bins of my clothing?
- 26:12And if any of the teachers wanna buy some clothing for your kids or maybe the kids have
- 26:1620 bucks to buy a shirt, Can we do that?
- 26:18And sometimes I make a thousand bucks, 2000, you know, at per event, and I was happy with
- 26:23that.
- 26:23I was like, man, I can't believe we're crushing it.
- 26:25Right?
- 26:25This is amazing.
- 26:26So, that's how it all evolved.
- 26:28Was in 2012, I started speaking like that, and I would just kind of 2015.
- 26:33And I was like, okay.
- 26:33Maybe there's something here in 2016.
- 26:35I registered my business.
- 26:36And then you know, we were 3 years ago.
- 26:39And the rest is history.
- 26:40And now you're talking some of the on I've seen I often, obviously, I follow you, so I see some
- 26:46of the huge stages that you've been on, which, you know, I'm I'm right behind you there, and
- 26:50I'm gonna, just listen to everything.
- 26:52All the words of wisdom that you've given today and apply So Kendall, for any young person out
- 26:58there, that has a dream, what what are some words of wisdom that you could give them and
- 27:06something that they can apply.
- 27:08Let's say we're ending the year.
- 27:10I'm sure we're all sitting down and writing our goals.
- 27:12Yep.
- 27:13What words of wisdom would you give to these young people out there?
- 27:16The words of wisdom I would give to you is if if you wanna really achieve whatever whatever
- 27:20goal that you feel that you you want to achieve.
- 27:22For example, it has to be an obsession.
- 27:24It has to be an obsessive feeling that you have towards that, whatever path that you're going
- 27:29to go, you have to actually up and feel like you wanna do it.
- 27:32I would not be speaking if I didn't feel like I want what I was meant to do it.
- 27:36Okay?
- 27:37I would not assert a niche gear if I felt like I wasn't meant do it.
- 27:40And I was, you know, everything I saw that I get a rush.
- 27:43So it was like, I was always gravitated towards those projects.
- 27:46You need to develop that same.
- 27:48It has to be the same feeling for you.
- 27:50And every single successful leader I've had a chance to research and work with, it's very
- 27:54similar.
- 27:55They start things based on a obsessive desire to achieve that goal.
- 27:59And if you don't that your obsession isn't there, move on to something else because
- 28:03there's no point trying to replicate someone else's successes because you get spy you get
- 28:07inspired, which happens a lot at 2 of a lot of people, but their emotional connection to that
- 28:11is not there as the other person.
- 28:13That's why they're not succeeding.
- 28:14So it's an obsession.
- 28:16Once you're able to to feel that, what you wanna do is you wanna try find people who have
- 28:22achieved that already or done something similar and you research them.
- 28:26You buy their books.
- 28:27You, but, you go, you listen to their, your YouTube videos.
- 28:30You listen to their podcast.
- 28:31When I first got into it, I was, I was a sponge for all this knowledge.
- 28:35And I, I was able to, to learn how to do everything in from a start to finish in the t
- 28:42shirt business because of that same hunger for knowledge.
- 28:45So I I would I used to do my own screen printing my own apartment.
- 28:48That one bedroom apartment had a little factory going on.
- 28:51And I realized very quickly after 2 weeks of doing that, what a waste of time, but at least
- 28:54I know what to do now.
- 28:56Right.
- 28:56Right.
- 28:57So I was able to understand the whole process from the screens, the ink, the squeegee, the
- 29:02heating, the ink, white, how it doesn't crumble in the washer and dry everything.
- 29:06Right?
- 29:08To design my own stuff.
- 29:09I played around on Photoshop and illustrator, and and I've, you know, I was able to create
- 29:12our own logo.
- 29:13You know?
- 29:13And so all this stuff, even in speaking, same thing.
- 29:16I hired coaches.
- 29:16I I bought their books.
- 29:18I went to their seminars.
- 29:18You know, we both know Jane, what, and we're both getting what, coaching.
- 29:22Right?
- 29:22We're always learning.
- 29:23You have to have that hunger to learn and you match it with an obsessive desire with the
- 29:28goal, I really believe that is one of the major things that'll help get you to where you wanna
- 29:32go in your life.
- 29:34Well, you're very inspiring.
- 29:35I I, you know, I'm I learned so much more again, even though we've been in the same,
- 29:40arenas, because we're we're the we're the students when we sit in those rooms, and we we
- 29:44we surrounding by amazing people that are doing amazing things and getting their messages out
- 29:50there.
- 29:50And you're an inspiration to, anyone that's thinking about you can't do it.
- 29:55Anything's possible.
- 29:56It really, really is.
- 29:58And I know that sounds cliche, but if if Kendall is any representation of that that you
- 30:03it shows you that it's possible, you know, to be, honored with this big award, and he is
- 30:09definitely one of the younger speakers in, the professional association.
- 30:14There's not a lot of young pea younger people.
- 30:16Most people are pivoting into speaking generally like myself, mid career stepping into
- 30:21it.
- 30:21So it's it's a it's a blessing to see him out there.
- 30:24So what am I taking away from Kendall?
- 30:27I'm taking away that, project forward.
- 30:31Think about where you wanna be and create that obsession.
- 30:34And because and what happens if things start to fall into place, the more you just surround
- 30:39yourself.
- 30:40So whether it's I want to be the best soccer player or I wanna be the best business person,
- 30:46go out there, find people.
- 30:47We we are in the information age.
- 30:49You can find anybody, and Kendall could probably echo this as When people are
- 30:54successful, if you pick up the phone and you ask them to talk to them, I'm amazed how many
- 30:58people I've actually spoken to, they said, sure.
- 31:00Roxanne, I'll give you you know, half an hour of my time.
- 31:03Right.
- 31:03Right.
- 31:03Reach out reach out.
- 31:04Get the wisdom and and and that's inspiring, and then you take the steps Sorry.
- 31:09So, again, resilience is something, that you can achieve in any given day, and you never
- 31:15know where the messages will come from So followed that path.
- 31:19And as you know, with myself, I I'm a mental health and wellness specialist.
- 31:22I talk about authenticity and leadership and mental resilience.
- 31:26So if you're needing me, you can connect with me at Roxanne.
- 31:29And again, Kendall, thanks again for your time.
- 31:32It was it's always a a a pleasure.
- 31:34And maybe we can connect with your sister at some point because I would love to
- 31:38also Absolutely.
- 31:38She has an amazing story.
- 31:40She she's definitely stay in touch with her.
- 31:42I will.
- 31:43I'll I'll get her contact.
- 31:44Okay, everyone.
- 31:45Thank you, and we'll talk to you soon.
- 31:47Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
- 31:53healthy change.
- 31:54Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
- 32:00rocksandirhaj.com/blueprint.
- 32:04We'll see you next time.
- 32:06An authentic living with Roxanne.