Latest / The Rosanne Callens Podcast / E17: The Moments Are Waiting (Get in the Pool!)
Transcript
- Rosanne Callens: Hi friends, Roseanne Callens here. As I sit down to record this, summer has officially arrived. School is out, pools are open, vacations are happening. Let's say vacations are happening. Three, three, two, one, go. Hi, friends, Rosanne Callens here. And as I sit down to record this, summer has officially arrived. School is out, the pools are open, vacations are in effect. And families are gathering for all those moments that seem just so ordinary while we're living them, but somehow become the memories that we treasure years later. And I've been thinking about something I see every single summer. I hear people say, maybe next year I'll wear the swimsuit, or I just need to lose 20 pounds first. Or you go ahead and get in the picture, I'll take it. How many pictures have we taken because we didn't want to be in them? And sometimes it's body image, sometimes it's work and we're busy and we can't be bothered. Sometimes it's feeling like we have too much to do and not enough time. But for one reason or another, we end up sitting on the sidelines of our own lives. And as I was thinking about this episode, I remembered something that happened years and years ago when my daughters were little. I was standing in my bedroom one summer morning and I was getting ready for the day and I was in my bra and underwear and looking in the mirror and Picture this. I was standing in my bedroom one summer morning, getting ready for the day. I was in my bra and underwear. Sorry if that's TMI. And I was looking in the mirror. And if I'm being honest, I was being absolutely awful to myself. And you know those mornings, I felt fat, I felt unattractive, I didn't like anything that I was thinking about wearing. I was criticizing every inch of my body. looking at all of the things that I wished were different, thinking about all that weight I wanted to lose and all of the reasons that I didn't feel good enough. And while I was st Let me call you back. I'm recording. I'll call you right back. And while I was standing there having that horrible conversation to myself, my six-year-old daughter came running into the room and stopped. And she looked at me and said, mommy, your swimsuit is so pretty. Can we go swimming today? That's it. That's what she saw. Not the flaws, not the extra pounds, not anything that I was criticizing. She saw her mommy. She saw a bra with flowers on it, thought it was a pretty swimsuit. And she saw the possibility of making a memory together. And I think about that all of the time. I was almost missing that moment because I was so busy judging myself. I've never forgotten that moment because my daughter was not looking at me through the lens of criticism. She was looking at me through the lens of love. She did not care what size I wore. She didn't care about the things that I wanted to change. She cared about one thing, whether I would get in the pool with her. And honestly, I think that's true for most of the people that we love. They aren't asking us to be perfect. They're asking us to just be present. And the other day I found myself thinking about what children would actually say if we asked them what makes summer special. I don't think a child has ever said, my favorite part of summer was how great my mom looked in her swimsuit. And I don't think a grandchild has ever said the best day of the year was when grandpa finally reached his goal weight. It gets me really emotional. What they remember is completely different. They remember who got in the pool. They remember who chased them through the sprinklers. They remember who stayed for one more game of Marco Polo. They remember who laughed with them. And they remember who sat beside them at the beach and who built sand castles. They remember who was fully present. In years from now, our children are not going to be looking through family photos, looking at our imperfections. They are going to be looking for evidence that we were there. They're gonna be looking for the memories, the experiences, and they're gonna be reliving those moments that you shared together. And so all of that just made me wonder how many memories that we're missing out on because we're waiting for a future version of ourselves to start living. We tell ourselves that we're gonna really enjoy life once we lose the weight. We're gonna really enjoy life once work slows down. We're gonna. Super enjoy our life when that when that project is finished, or when the house is cleaner, or when we finally feel more confident, or we're gonna really enjoy life when we finally become the person that we think we're supposed to be. But guess what, everyone? Summer doesn't wait. Childhood doesn't wait. Grandchildren don't wait. Life doesn't wait. And while we're busy trying to become this better version of ourselves, the people that we love are simply hoping that we'll show up as the version we are today. And I think that one of the greatest gifts that we can give the people that we love is our presence, not our perfection, not our productivity, not our appearance, but our presence. In fact, that's the phrase. That I want you to remember today, and that I'm going to remember for today. The people that we love, they don't need a perfect you. They need a present you. Let that sink in for a moment. The people you love don't need a perfect you. They need a present you. Because remember, someday your kids aren't gonna remember all those to do lists that you had. And they're not gonna be like, wow, mom really answered all those emails from the pool chair. Remy, shh, stop it. Someday your kids are gonna grow up and they're not gonna remember your t Remy! Remember everyone, your kids aren't going to remember that you knocked out that to-do list. And they're not going to remember, wow. Redo. Someday your kids won't remember your to-do lists. And they're not going to remember the emails that you answered from the pool chair. They're not going to remember the number on the scale. They're going to remember that you got into the water. They are going to remember that you laughed. They are going to remember that you played. They are going to rem Remy. They won't remember the number on the scale. They're going to remember that you got into the water. They're going to remember that you laughed. They're going to remember that you played with them. And they're going to remember that for a little while nothing else mattered except being together. Remy! They'll remember that for a little while nothing else mattered except being together. Now, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, well, Rosanne that's so easier said than done. Well, I get it. For some people, getting in the pool isn't about swimming. It's about vulnerability. It's about being seen. It's about letting go of the idea that we have to look a certain way or achieve a certain thing. Or reach some magical milestone before we're allowed to live our lives. And for others, it's not even about body image. It's work. You're physically present, but you are mentally somewhere else. You're answering emails from the lounge chair. You're checking messages during the family barbecue. You're watching the kids play, thinking about tomorrow's meeting. It's about being at the pool when your mind is still at the office. And no matter what form it takes, the result is still the same. We are missing moments that we'll never get back. Redo, redo. No matter what form it takes, the result is the same. You're missing moments that you'll never get back. So I want to give you something practical to try this summer. The next time you find yourself saying, not yet, I want you to stop and ask yourself. One simple question. What memory am I about to miss? Because that's really the choice in front of us. It's rarely about looking perfect versus looking imperfect. It's usually about participating or missing the moment altogether. So I want you to take a deep breath. And repeat these words. I am worthy of this moment exactly as I am. I do not need to earn joy. I do not need to earn rest. I do not need to earn belonging. I want you to take then redo, redo, redo. Then I want you to take a deep breath. And I want you to repeat these sentences after me. I am worthy of this moment exactly as I am. I do not need to earn joy. I do not need to earn rest. I do not need to earn belonging. I do not need to earn this moment. The people I love don't need a perfect me. They need a present me. And then everyone, do the thing. Get in the pool, step into the picture, smile, join the game, take the walk, ride a bike, put down the phone, leave the laptop inside, and sit on the beach, watch the sunset, laugh a little louder, stay a little longer. Because you know what? Confidence does not come before the moment. Confidence comes from living in that moment. And every time that you choose presence over perfection, you are teaching yourself that life is happening now and not someday. The memories that you are creating today are the stories your family is going to tell tomorrow. And those stories are not gonna be about how you looked. Those stories are going to be how you loved. So here's my challenge for you this week and the rest of the summer. Choose that one thing that you've been avoiding because you don't feel ready or confident enough, thin enough, successful enough, or caught up enough. And then I want you to do it anyway, because you know what? Not because everything is perfect, but because these moments matter. The people you love matter. This season matters. And because life is way too precious to spend waiting for a future version. And because life is too precious to spend, waiting for a future version of yourself to start living in. What are you waiting for, everyone? You know that at all of the funerals or ⁓ of all of the you know if you've ever gone to a celebration of life or a funeral that no one has read a eulogy and said, Whew, thank goodness so and so answered all the emails, or who we're really glad that they met their goal weight, or whew, well they tried, but they never Brammy! When people have read eulogies or attended a celebration of life and talked about the person that has passed on, they never say things like, Whew, well, Roseanne. They never say things like, Whew, Roseanne was so good at answering all of her emails. Or, wow, she really lost all that weight and finally became happy. They don't say those things. They talk about your you and your love and your laughter and the memories. So I want you to make memories. Thanks for spending time with me today. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs permission to stop waiting and start living. Until next time, friends. Or again, friends, one last thing. I just want you to remember you don't need to earn this moment. The people you love don't need a perfect you, they need a present you. So get the swimsuit on. Go in the pool and have a great time and let me know because I would certainly love to cheer you on. Bye-bye.