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Narcissists want to know how they affect you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people?
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  Today, we're going to be talking about how narcissists want to
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  know the effect that they have on you.
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  They want to know that whatever they're doing is working.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist, and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  So, welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Y'all.
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  Yes, yes, yes. Narcissistic people.
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  Toxic people. Those toxic narcissists
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  absolutely want to know. The effect.
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  That they have on you. That's just, yeah, that's just
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  the truth of the matter. A lot of narcissists get they,
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  you know. Get power from it, they get,
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  they get. Power from it.
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  It makes them feel important, it makes them feel in control and
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  we know that the basis behind a lot of narcissistic people's
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  actions. Is that they?
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  Want their control? Of you they.
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  Want to see if they can get some type of reaction from you?
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  They want to see if they can control you in some some way,
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  shape, or. Form That's the.
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  Basis of a lot of toxic narcissistic people's actions.
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  So they. Want to know that their plan of
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  action is working like. Whatever it is.
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  If they want, if they want. To catch.
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  You up screaming and crying, right?
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  They will set a plan of. Action in motion to get you to
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  scream and cry and the way that and y'all y'all know.
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  They will pull that. Damn.
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  Phone out and have you all? Over TikTok and Instagram.
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  Crying like hell and making it seem like you are the aggressor.
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  Making it seem like you are the abusive person in this in this
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  relationship space, you know that.
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  You know it to be. True, right?
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  You know, you know it to be true.
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  And that's why I tell a lot of people, if and when you're
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  dealing with a narcissist, you know it to be.
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  True in these spaces because they get you.
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  That's how they get you. They set you up.
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  They want. To know.
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  That they. Have some type of power of you.
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  So that's why I tell people one of your one of your the greatest
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  powers that you can have when you're dealing with a narcissist
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  or toxic person. Is the ability.
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  To control how you react. Like having that that, that Zen.
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  Being able to. You know how people, you know,
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  they get into that? You see the the commercials and
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  stuff like that the. TV shows, when people get into
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  that, like they get to that, that level of.
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  Zen, that meditative state when they cross their legs and they
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  start. Floating.
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  That's why you need to feel that's that.
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  Maybe not to the level where you floated.
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  In the air, doing arm to arm. And you floated in the air.
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  Maybe not to that level, but. You need to get to that reaction
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  level right there, because if they cannot trigger you, they
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  cannot control you. But the opposite is true though.
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  If they can trigger you, they can control you.
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  So some of them will absolutely try to set you.
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  Off on purpose. Just to be able just.
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  To let themselves know I still got it.
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  You know, yeah, some people go out there, like some older
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  people go out there and start flirting.
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  It's like, well, it's not even older people.
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  People who have been in a relationship for a long time and
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  they go out there and start flirting.
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  It's just like look I just wanted.
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  To make sure I still got it. You know what I mean?
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  Yeah. That's the mindset.
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  That that's the dynamic that a. Lot of narcissistic people do
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  right there. That's.
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  A lot of people face, they want to make sure that they.
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  Still got it. And by got it I mean the.
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  Ability to set you off the ability to.
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  Trigger you. The ability to do a.
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  Lot of different things to you. That's why I said this.
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  This is literally why I tell people control.
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  Those reactions. Well, Lee.
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  It's not as easy as you make it seem like.
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  I know, yo. I know.
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  It's hard as. Hell.
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  To control your reactions. It takes work.
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  It takes work. It's like you don't like.
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  Let's just tell. Let's.
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  Just say let's let's say I told you, hey, survivor, empath,
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  codependent, whatever role you're playing, Thriver.
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  You got to. Run.
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  You got to run a marathon next week, right?
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  Let's say I got You got to run not next week.
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  You got to run a marathon two months from now.
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  When would you start? Training for that marathon and.
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  You agreed to do it. You signed up for you if you
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  volunteered to sign. Up for this marathon?
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  When would? You start when?
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  When would you start training for that?
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  If you want to take it seriously?
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  If. You want to take this marathon
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  seriously? With a try, try the Line, this
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  bike ride, whatever it is. When would you start training
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  for that? It's two months away.
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  It's. 60 days away. Would you start?
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  Training one. Day away from that?
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  No, you wouldn't change. You wouldn't, you wouldn't train
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  the day before and just think you're going to go out there and
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  do good. No, you would start training
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  right now. It's a training thing.
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  You have to work up to it. You have to build that muscle
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  up. Hey, I need you at.
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  I need you at. I need you.
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  To drop 10% body fat in the next.
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  Year What are you going to do that overnight?
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  No, it's not overnight. It's not.
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  An overnight thing. It's not an.
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  Overnight thing. It takes work.
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  It's working out. It's effort.
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  It's discipline. You have to build up that
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  discipline, your level of discipline.
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  Has to increase. Has to increase you.
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  Can you see this is an empty bottle right here?
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  This is your. Discipline right here, maybe.
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  Look, your discipline. Is on low right now.
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  But over time, you start doing a little work, start doing a
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  little work. Your discipline is up here.
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  Now you got to fill it up. You have to fill the bottle of.
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  Discipline, you know. You have to fill that bottle of
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  discipline because you want to get like when you deal with a
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  narcissist, you're going to. Have to take a drink every once
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  in a while. I need to.
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  Drink some discipline. I need to drink a little bit of
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  discipline because they trying to get me.
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  You see what I'm saying? You get it, I.
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  Can't even put the top back on her.
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  But it's how you have to go about doing it.
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  You have to. Work on being.
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  Disciplined. You have to work on being in
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  power. You have to work on being as
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  strong as. You possibly can, because if you
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  don't do it, who's going to do it for you?
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  You see what I'm saying? If you.
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  Do not do it. Who is going to do it for you?
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  You have to be able to do it. Right now, you know you have.
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  To be. Able to start working on it
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  right now. Because the way the best I'm
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  doing a long, I'm going to do a longer.
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  Video on this later on the probably next this week
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  sometime. But you have to be able to work.
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  On that right now. In order to just be able to get.
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  You know. It's not a microwave.
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  Type of thing. This is Crockpot.
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  Things take things taste better. Coming out of the Crockpot,
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  Crockpot. Than they do out of the
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  microwave. It takes time.
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  You got to let it simmer. You got to let it simmer.
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  You got to build it up and add the ingredients.
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  The microwave you just throw. It in there and hit a button.
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  That's microwave. It's quick results, it's fast.
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  It don't taste as good, right? You put a pot roast in the
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  microwave, You put a pot roast in the crockpot.
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  Which tastes better, You know what I mean.
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  You put it in the microwave. You put.
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  It on a. You you cook the.
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  You cook the bang in the. Microwave for an.
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  Hour Which? Which?
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  One is going to taste better. It takes time because.
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  It takes time. For a narcissist to build up the
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  skills to be able to manipulate. You with and be able to set you
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  off. It takes time to do that.
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  So it's going to take time for you to build up that RESOLVE
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  study this. Person Y'all you have to.
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  Understand who you're. Dealing with.
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  Study y'all. Study them.
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  If you have to be around them, if you have to deal with them,
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  you have to study them. You know, this is not me just.
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  Saying well, you got to. Say I'm not telling you to focus
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  on them. If you're still living with
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  this, if you still have to deal with this person, it could
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  behoove you to study who you're dealing with, to understand who
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  you're dealing with. That's why you're watching this
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  video. This is you studying who you're
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  dealing with, right? This is a study session right
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  here. It's it's like you know?
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  13 minutes or less. But it's a study session.
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  It's a lesson, right? It is a lesson for you right
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  now. Learn the.
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  Person that you're. Dealing with Learn what triggers
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  them because they're learning what triggers you.
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  You say you have to learn what triggers them, because they are.
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  Absolutely. Knowing what?
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  Triggers you. Because that's what this video
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  is about. Them learning your triggers.
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  They studied. You learned your triggers.
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  Know what they know. What sets you off.
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  And they do it and they take pride in it.
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  They clap. They might not clap in front.
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  Of your face, but internally. The little internal narcissistic
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  part of them is clapping. Round of applause, you know,
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  super round of applause in these.
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  Situations so. So you.
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  In order to counteract. That in order to fight against
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  it, in order to go against that, that's what you have to do, You
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  have to learn your opponent. You know.
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  I know it might be your husband or your wife or your mom or your
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  dad or whoever it is or whoever it is in your life.
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  The role you, the narcissistic person in your life, you have
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  to. Learn your opponent.
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  Study them because they want to. Know they.
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  Study. I'm just telling you, they study
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  you. They study you to be able to
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  trigger you on purpose. They study you to be able to set
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  you. Off on purpose.
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  They study you to be able to. Harm you and hurt.
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  You and make you react in public.
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  They love that. They love reactive abuse.
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  Narcissists love it. They love when you have a
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  reactive abuse episode. When they just do something
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  little and they poke you. They poke you all day.
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  Poke, poke, poke, poke, Stop poking me.
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  Then they have the phone on you. Wow, you're crazy.
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  Nobody poked you. You're going crazy.
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  You're losing your mind. Got you.
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  You see, you see, they love that.
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  They love making it. They.
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  Love making it seem like you are the aggressor?
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  They. Love making it.
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  They love being able. To play the victim in this
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  circumstance. They love it.
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  They love setting you off. They want.
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  To know how? They want to know.
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  That their. Actions are affecting you in the
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  way that they want to affect you, You know, sometimes,
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  sometimes it don't even matter. They just want a reaction from
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  you. They want a response from you.
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  They want some type of acknowledgement from you.
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  You know, even. If you are not together, even if
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  you are. Broken up this person.
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  Y'all not together. You're divorced or whatever.
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  They'll start posting things about you that set you off to
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  get you to reach out to them, to get you to reach out to their
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  brother or sister or mom or whoever it is.
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  Their best friend? To tell them to stop.
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  They got the reaction from you, that's why sometimes with the
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  smear. Campaign the best the.
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  Best for the best results. Of getting.
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  Past the smear. Campaign.
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  It might be for you to just. Ignore it, you know, because.
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  If you react to it, that's what they want.
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  They want a reaction. They want to muddy the water.
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  They want to muddy the water so much that nobody knows.
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  Who the real aggressor is in this situation?
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  Or they think it's you you know they want.
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  They either want, nobody can know who.
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  The real aggressor is. Or they want people to think.
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  That it's you being an aggressor, you know they're just
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  defending themselves. So that's why I just tell people
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  going back and forth on social media, a lot of people don't
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  know who. The actual aggressor.
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  Is people. Of course.
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  People are going to pick sides, right?
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  That's what people do. People pick sides and if people
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  pick the other side, look, just sometimes you got to let them
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  go. If they're not willing to listen
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  to. You or just believe you?
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  Sometimes you have to let that person go because they're this
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  is now. Your OP.
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  You know they're. Building an army against you?
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  So learning. How to control your reaction?
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  I'm telling you y'all, it is a superpower that you.
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  Need if you want to. Survive this toxic.
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  Relationship space. It's a superpower that you
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  absolutely need to work on. Controlling.
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  Don't. Excuse me?
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  Controlling those absolutely controlling those reactions,
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  They say it made me burp from trying to be.
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  Trying to use the live demonstration I.
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  Won't do that. Anymore.
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  I shouldn't do that anymore. No more Live.
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  Demonstrations Leo drinking carbonated beverages is going to
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  make you burp. But y'all got a reaction out of
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  me, didn't you? You see?
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  But it's see right there. That's the narcissist.
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  Getting that reaction from you? You see, the soda is the
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  narcissist, the 0 sugar. Ginger ale.
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  But yeah, controlling. Your reactions is a superpower.
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  Y'all because that narcissist wants to be able to know that
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  they still have some type of control over you, inside their
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  relationship or outside their relationship, whether the
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  relationship is still going on right now or whether it's been
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  over for years. So this is.
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  Your cue right here? To empower yourself to stay, to
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  stay as strong as you possibly can.
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  Stay in power, Be blessed. Make sure you subscribe to the
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  channel. For more.
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  And of course, y'all mental illness.
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  Is out peace. Thank you.
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  So much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for. Being here if you haven't
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  already, make sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the
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  channel. And watch another one of my
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  videos on my. Playlist there's.
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  Also a link available up here for you to purchase my kids.
• 12:04
  But remember it's not your fault on Amazon so check that out.
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.