Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You're a Career Returner After a Break
Transcript
- Lucas: So I was talking to a woman named Priya recently. She was a marketing manager at a mid-sized CPG company, took four years off to care for aging parents, and when she tried to get back in, she said the hardest part wasn't the skills gap — it was that she didn't know how to talk about the break without sounding apologetic. Luna: I bet. I've seen that. There's this weird pressure to justify the time off, like it's a black mark. Lucas: Exactly. And the conventional advice is 'just be confident, tell your story, own it.' But that's not enough. The real issue isn't confidence — it's clarity. Priya didn't have a framework for how to frame those four years as an asset. And that's where a mentor became the difference. Luna: So you're saying the confidence gap is actually a clarity gap? Lucas: That's exactly it. I want to walk through what Priya did, because it's a template for anyone returning after a significant break — two years or more. She found a mentor who helped her build what I call the 'Returner Pitch.' It's a three-step reframe. Luna: I'm listening. What's the first step? Lucas: Step one: treat the break as a job description. Priya didn't just 'take care of parents.' She managed medications, coordinated with doctors, handled insurance claims, and navigated a crisis when her father had a stroke. That's project management and crisis management. Her mentor — a senior VP at her old company who she reconnected with through the alumni network — helped her write bullet points for that. Luna: That's brilliant. Instead of hiding the break, you're actually mining it for transferable skills. Lucas: Right. And step two is to connect those skills to the role you're applying for. Priya was going for a senior marketing role. Her mentor pointed out that her experience coordinating care across multiple specialists was directly analogous to managing a cross-functional campaign with agencies, legal, and product teams. Luna: So the mentor essentially helped her translate. That's what I think is the real value — someone who can see the link you can't see yourself. Lucas: Absolutely. And step three is the hardest: owning the break without over-explaining. Her mentor taught her to say one sentence about the break — 'I stepped away to care for family, and I'm now fully ready to return' — and then immediately pivot to the value she brings. No apologizing, no dwelling. Luna: That's the part that trips up most returners. They think they need to convince the interviewer the break was a good use of time. But the interviewer is really just checking if you're still sharp. Lucas: Exactly. And there's data here. LinkedIn did a study last year — 2025 — that looked at professionals who took a career break of two years or more. They found that it takes, on average, 11 months longer to reach a senior role compared to someone who never took a break. But for those who had a mentor during the re-entry process, that gap shrank to just three months. Luna: Three months? That's huge. So a mentor essentially cuts the penalty by 70 percent. Lucas: Roughly, yes. And the study also showed that returners with mentors were two and a half times more likely to land a role at or above their previous level within the first year. Luna: So where do you find a mentor if you're in that boat? If you've been out of the workforce and your network has gone cold? Lucas: Priya's approach is a good model. She started with her alumni network — but not by sending a generic 'I'm looking for a mentor' message. She found a specific person: a senior VP who had been at her company for 20 years and had written a LinkedIn post about hiring returners a few years back. She sent a short, specific note referencing that post and asking for 20 minutes to talk about framing her career break. Luna: So she did her homework. She didn't just cast a wide net. Lucas: Exactly. The mistake most people make is they ask too broadly — 'Will you be my mentor?' That's like asking someone to marry you on the first date. Instead, she asked for a specific piece of advice that the person was uniquely positioned to give. That's a much lower-friction ask. Luna: And it shows you've done the work. It flatters the person too, in a genuine way. Lucas: Right. Priya also used professional re-entry programs. There are a lot now — Path Forward, iRelaunch, and many company-specific programs like Amazon's Returnship and JPMorgan's ReEntry. These programs often pair you with a mentor who's been through the same thing. Luna: I've heard of Returnships — they're basically internships for experienced professionals returning after a break. They can be a great way to rebuild confidence and get that mentor relationship built in. Lucas: They are. And the key is to look for a mentor who either has taken a break themselves or has successfully hired people who have. They're more likely to understand the nuance. Priya's mentor had hired three returners in the past, so she knew the exact objections that come up in hiring committees. Luna: What are those objections? Like, what's going through a hiring manager's mind? Lucas: The biggest one is: 'Are they still up to speed on current tools and trends?' That's a fair concern. So Priya's mentor told her to proactively address it — mention the courses she took during the break, the industry newsletters she followed, the webinars she attended. She even did a Google Analytics certification in her third year off. Luna: So she was investing in herself even while not working. That's a strong signal. Lucas: It is. And the mentor helped her decide which credentials to highlight. There's a tendency to list everything, but less is more. They settled on three that were most relevant to the role: Google Analytics, a LinkedIn Learning course on digital strategy, and a volunteer project she'd done designing a website for a local nonprofit. Luna: That's a neat package. It shows current skills, initiative, and community engagement. Lucas: Exactly. And here's where I think the mentor's role is most valuable — they help you edit. When you're inside your own story, you include everything. A mentor helps you cut the noise and lead with the signal. Luna: That's a good line. I'm going to steal that. Lucas: Please do. So the takeaway for anyone returning after a break: don't start with a generic mentor search. Start with a specific ask of a specific person who can help with one part of the return process — whether that's framing the break, updating your resume, or practicing interviews. Build from there. Luna: And be patient. It took Priya about six months from reaching out to landing a role, but she says the mentor relationship was the single biggest factor. Lucas: You know, it's episodes like this that remind me why we do the show. If it's helped you think through your own career situation, or if you know someone who's returning after a break, that's exactly what we're here for. And a handful of listeners actually chip in monthly to keep this going ad-free — through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small group, but it makes a real difference in how many of these we can produce. Luna: Yeah, it's a simple way to support if the show's been useful to you. We appreciate every one of you who does. Lucas: So back to Priya — she's now a senior brand manager at a different CPG company, and she's mentoring two other returners herself. That's the full circle. She paid it forward. Luna: That's the best part. Once you get the help, you become the helper. Lucas: Exactly. So if you're returning from a break, focus on the clarity gap, not the confidence gap. Find someone who's been there, ask a specific question, and build that Returner Pitch. It works.