Latest / I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar / Lennon Parham Returns to Disobey Bridger Again

Transcript

Lennon Parham Returns to Disobey Bridger Again · I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger Winegar

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: When I invited you here I thought I made myself
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: perfectly clear When you're a guest in my home You
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: gotta come to me empty-handed. I said no gifts, your
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: presence is presence enough. And I already had too much stuff.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: So how do you dare disobey me?
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Welcome to I Said No Gifts. I'm Bridger Weiniger. I'm
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: fresh back from Ross Dress for Less. I dipped in
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: there after dinner my evening in Burbank. They're selling boxes
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: of liquid death at Ross Dress for Less. If that's
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: something you're interested in buying canned water, I think it's
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: called mango murder. I think that may be the flavor.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: Something along those lines. That's in the Burbank Ross dress
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: for less. They're not all going to have canned water, obviously.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: That's how Ross works. So I did that. I learned
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: this at work today. I'm 17 days late on the
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: violence in the workplace training module. So, I mean, anything
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: could happen with me. But that's a different workplace. This
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: workplace doesn't require any training modules. So I'm The violence
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: could happen at any moment. What else is happening? I
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: went to the pharmacy to pick up my Welbutrin, and
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: the pharmacist said, how long have you been doing it?
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Which I made it feel very illicit, and I kind
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: of like that. I do Welbutrin. And I think that's... Oh,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: I went to San Diego. I saw Jim and his play.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I assume this is... It's too late for you to
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: see the play.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Sorry.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Um, that was over at the end of August, and
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: this episode is coming out at another time, probably in September.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Happy fall, everyone. Back to school.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: Hmm.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Patreon.com slash I said no gifts. Come on over. Bonus episodes.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: What's a bonus episode that we're talking about? We've got
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: producer Ellis on an episode. We recently had Mitra Johari.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: We've got everybody. We're having such a good time. I'm
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: recapping Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season two now,
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: which will then be paused for season seven. And then
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: I'll do that. And then at some point, my body
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: is going to break. But let's just get into the podcast.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I'm so delighted our guest is back. It's Lennon Parham. Lennon,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: welcome back to I Said No Gifts.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy to see you.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Ditto.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I just, I feel like a lot has... Happening.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: Transpired.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot has transpired. I've been to Ross.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: It's open really late. Did you know that?
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: This is one of the weirdest things about Ross.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: Until like 11 o'clock. Because there's a new one in
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: my neighborhood. And one time I went, it was knock-it-out-of-the-park deals.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Then I took my daughter again when she was home
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: recovering from an illness.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: You know, after she was contagious. It wasn't insane. We
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: were just bored. And it was the saddest place on earth.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: And it was the same Ross that I had been to.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: It's like the leaves falling off of trees. You never
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: know what Ross you're going to get.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: And then you drive by, and it's 1045, and there's
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: still people milling about in there.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're open until 11 o'clock, I think.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Is that right? It could be later. We don't know.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: Should we go after this?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: We should.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Let's hit up Ross. And we'll wait. We'll wait a
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: couple hours.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: God, I need some mango murder.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I saw that.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: That's so aggressive.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Well, it's the liquid death brand. Sure, sure.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: They have to toe the line.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Bring an edge to water.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Nothing needs it more.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I rarely buy things at Ross, but I saw
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: several things there today, including... Is this an ad for Ross?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Let's do it.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Let's get you to a sponsor. Let's get me the
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Ross sponsorship. They had beautiful flower pots or like indoor
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: plant pots, which.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I was shocked. Like artificial ones? No, you could.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Actually put plants in them. Okay.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: Big.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: I was tempted, but I didn't.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: How much?
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Guess for one that's quite large.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for like a fig tree?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: How much would you pay for something like that?
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Like in a West Elm, $ 3. 20.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: Well, what if I told you you could get the
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: pot there for 10% of that cost, $ 30?
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, I wouldn't believe you.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: $ 30 for a pot is very reasonable. That's too low.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: You are going to injure yourself on that pot when
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: it shatters.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you do wonder what's happening with this particular pot,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: what corners were cut in order to get this thing made. Mm-hmm.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: It wasn't fired at the right temperature or something, you know?
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: It's a little soft. You pick it up and you
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: can see your fingerprints on it. Yeah. The other thing
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I was going to talk about is this. Have you
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: seen this Monsters of God documentary? Nope. This is about
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: snakes and reptiles.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Not related to mango murder monster.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, interesting. That could be a collab between Monster Energy
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: Drink and Liquid Death.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: The Monsters of God water.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: But this thing.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: It's a documentary?
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: It's a documentary about the reptile trade. Did you see
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Chimp Crazy?
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: Nope.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Chimp Crazy. Oh, I thought you said Jim Crazy.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Jim Crazy. I'm going Jim Crazy.
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: Like a Jim Belushi documentary. Okay.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Chimp Crazy.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: I didn't see it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: But you're familiar?
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I'm familiar with.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: How that goes badly right in general yes this guy
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: keeps I think documenting different people with exotic animals okay
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: but this one's all about snakes and last night unfortunately
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: snakes and like alligators or whatever exposed to a large
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: bucket of dead rats on my TV oh yeah it's just.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Like shot camera right down in into.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: It just didn't feel like something I needed to see
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: on TV they could have just told me it was
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: full of rats yeah It's like.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: Fear factor or something.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: Trigger warning. I have my cookie and I'm trying to
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: eat and just frozen dead rats being thrown into alligator. Frozen.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: At least they were frozen. Like that would help, I think,
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: in the moment.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: That's true. What's your feeling on reptiles and snakes?
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: My neighbor surprised me. They have an aggressive golden retriever.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: And I recently got a puppy and I was walking
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: by and the boyfriend walked out with a Something on,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: it's just like a, what's it called?
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: A horned... Iguana?
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: I don't know. It was a... Oh, God, what's the
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: name of it? It's like one of the more famous
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: lizard species. Okay, anyway. It was just on his shoulder.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Just like all of a sudden, this is you?
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: That's a huge side of your personality.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: And he drives like a very loud kind of sports car.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: He's got a very... handsome wife or girlfriend who has
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: the dog okay she works she helps out on voting days.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Well what a completely different pair of people he sounds
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: like a coke dealer and she's.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Doing grounded so that's why i was like talking about
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: my dog they were interacting and then i looked up
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: and i was i literally was taken aback by the
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: lizard on his shoulder.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: That's a big thing to keep from people Yeah. Once
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: you learn someone owns a large reptile, I mean, like
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: there's a whole new world opened about their personality. You
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: just got a puppy?
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: Yes, we did.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Tell me about this.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: In April. This dog, this sweet, sweet dog is named
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Mochi and has doubled, over doubled in size, is a
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: mix of seven very disparate dogs.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Which dogs?
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: Half poodle, about 35 to 40 percent, two kinds of shepherd. Okay.
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: And then like Japanese street dog, like Kenyan street dog,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: a lot of street dogs happening. And she's so cute
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: and such a mess and she's getting spayed tomorrow.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: How old is she?
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: She's like a little over seven months now.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Do you have a picture?
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I want to see a picture of her.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: Can I show it to you later?
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, of course.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Listener, I'm going to be as tense waiting for this
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: picture as you are. I just got a puppy last June.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: You did?
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: So I've been through the whole puppy process.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: What size is your puppy?
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: She's a Rottweiler, so she's about 75 pounds right now.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: That's a big dog.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's still growing.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: But now sideways. She'll, like, bulk out into kind of
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: a tank creature.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Thicken up.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: But she still looks like– she looks like kind of
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: a gangly puppy sort of. She's wonderful.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: She's not a year old yet?
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: No, she's now a year and a half about. Because
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: we got her spayed in March, I think, which was– Yeah.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Did you– Did you have to wait for the first heat?
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: No.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: I think bigger dogs, it happens a little later.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: This is what I'm reading on American Kennel Society.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: But any time after five or six months, they'll do it.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: But they don't they didn't tell us we.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Had to wait.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: So we're not gonna.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think you have to.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: We ended up waiting too long for our cat, who's
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: now 16. And that was unpleasant.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Was there were cats coming around the house trying to.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: She she's an indoor cat. I didn't notice additional cats,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: but there might have been coyotes, all sorts. We lived
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: in this. insane side of a hill in Echo Park
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: at the time. But it was just like, she was
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: just like, she was like, okay, like, it's beginning. Let's
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: get this show. Like she was, it was on. And
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: then any piece of furniture, she was like, you looking
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: at me? Like it was just, then she's grinding on
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: the floor. And I was like, no, no, no, no,
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: not in my house.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: How long did that go on for?
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Until we got her spayed. So probably just the one time.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, the one whatever session. Right.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: The heat session.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: The heat session.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: The heat zone.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We waded through one heat with our dog, and
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: it went way longer than we could have possibly ever imagined.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: Like a month or something?
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Like six weeks, I think.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: That's too long.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think we were like, we can do this
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: for two weeks. And then just six weeks later, it
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: was finally over.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know. But now I think we've taken care
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: of all of her surgeries for now. Good. And we
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: can just enjoy the meat. Well, she did swallow a
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: finger puppet over the weekend.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Which is tough. So I'm like monitoring that situation. Does
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: your dog eat everything?
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, everything. Everything.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: You can't stop them.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: What are you going to do? What are you going
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: to do? Get in there? I mean, it's gone before
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: you even see her eat it.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: Almost instantly.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: The amount of times my hand has been in a
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Rottweiler's mouth at this point.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. I'm always reaching in there. She loves. I mean,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: this is obviously a classic dog thing. She loves socks.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Especially dirty socks. And she will find socks everywhere. And
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: then she'll just run back to her bed like we
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: didn't even see it. And we're just like, no.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Oh. It's unfortunate.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: But she is joy. She is joy incarnate.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: They're such joy.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: She's so happy to see me when I get home.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, isn't that the best?
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: And so angry at everyone else.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like you're the alpha in the house?
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I think we all play different roles. She thinks my
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: son is another dog, I think.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: She likes my daughter a lot. She's always excited. My
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: husband plays with her the most. So she like, And
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: he takes her on her, like, first walk. But then
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: if she gets injured or scared, she runs to me. Oh,
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: that's kind of.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: The ultimate thing. Are you training her?
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: That's a whole other thing.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: She went to puppy preschool.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, we took ours to puppy preschool, and it was
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: very sweet. I loved doing it so much.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty cute.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, even though it meant, like, waking up at
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: 7 a.m. and driving to who knows where. Yeah. But
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: it's very sweet to send them off and have them
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: come back learning things.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and meeting other little puppies.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: Have you been doing anything fun during the summer? Have
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: your kids off of school?
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: We went to Applebee's. I do love a trip to Applebee's.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I was saying to my husband, it feels like My
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: teenage years.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Because it was like where you went to feel grown
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: up and like have.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Like a real restaurant.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. And maybe the drama club, like after a
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: show or something.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, totally.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you would just go over there and just get,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know what we would even order. Some kind
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: of like chimichanga or something. Anyway, so now my, right
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: after the fires, okay, this is a positive story. Right
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: after the fires, we rented a house in Joshua Tree
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: just to get out of the red flag zone.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: And we ate dinner at Applebee's. And it was the
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: first time my son had ever eaten at Applebee's. And
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: he was like, what is this magic? They had Shirley
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: Temples with Pop Rocks in them. Oh, my God. Like
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: mozzarella sticks out the wazoo. Like everything that was on
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: the kids' menu, he was like, that one. I'll take
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: that one. It was such a hit. And then it
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: became such a positive thing in our house. It's maybe
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: not the most healthy place to go eat. But every
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: once in a while, dive in to an Applebee's. It'll
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: surprise you.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: That's a great slogan. Dive into an Applebee's. It'll surprise you.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: What are you ordering at Applebee's?
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I always get the same thing. The bourbon chicken and shrimp.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: With sauteed mushrooms and onions and mashed potato. It is
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: so salty. It is so salty. Do you know, this is,
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: I digress, but my friend Tony and Jen were craving
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: a Cracker Barrel breakfast. And we drove to Fontana.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Which is a good drive.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: It's not a short drive.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Got in that HOV, though. We lucked out. And
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: we ate the food. And literally we were afterwards, I
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: think because of the MSG, vibrating. Like, I was talking
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: like this. Can you believe those fried eggs were so delicious?
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: And then we like went in the gift store, which
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I think maybe is like on purpose they put that
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: insane gift store out there, the general store.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: Because they were just like. Like Christmas Snoopies, just like
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: over and over again. Like, I don't know.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Sounds like a hallucination.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: It felt that way, and I had just eaten breakfast.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: It's like 8.30 a.m. Yeah, I haven't been to a
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Cracker Barrel in quite a while, but they don't just
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: sell Cracker Barrel merch, right? No. It's like kind of
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: a general store with things from outside of Cracker Barrel. Yeah.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Fascinating business concept.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it works. And rocking chairs, famously.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Wait, you can buy rocking chairs?
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're for sale out front.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Whoa!
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: Right next to those giant checkers boards.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: How much are they selling a rocking chair for? $ 150.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: $ 150? Okay.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Does it say Cracker Barrel on it? Uh-uh. Okay. Yeah,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I guess I wouldn't even know where to buy a
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: rocking chair.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's one in Hollywood, actually, a rocking chair store.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, have you been there?
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: That's where I got my husband a rocking chair for
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: one of his birthday presents. And the guy said, oh,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: my God, Bridget Jones had just been in and bought
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: 12 rocking chairs for her patio all around her pool.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: And I was like, that's a name drop. She didn't
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: say Bridget Jones.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: He actually said, yeah, Renee's.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: Zellweger.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: I like the idea of buying 12 rocking chairs and
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: not artfully tastefully putting them around in a row. Just straight.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Just straight right along the pool. Wow.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Where do you have your rocking chair?
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: On the back deck.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Okay. That sounds nice.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: I like a rocking chair. I wonder if I could
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: so I get nauseous so easily now.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: Interesting.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: You didn't used to? No. Up until I was probably 20,
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: I didn't get nauseous in any situation. I could go
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: on Like rides.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Motion sickness.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Zero motion sickness. And now devastating motion sickness.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I wonder if there's something about like your inner
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: ear canal falling apart or something.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: At 20? That doesn't sound right. Do you know about
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: the feature on your phone that you can turn on
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: in the car?
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: No. Okay.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: I'll show you later.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: There's like a feature that like it puts little dots
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: on your screen and then as the car's turning... The
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: dots turn with it. So your brain and your eyes
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: feel the physical, like it's all together. You know how
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: when you look, like I can't read, I couldn't like
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: do anything on my phone in the car if my
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: husband was driving.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: I get immediately motion sick.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: But if I put that on, it gives me maybe
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: two minutes before I start feeling like I'm going to
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: throw up. Yeah.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, you even just kind of describing that was
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: starting to make me feel like, am I going to
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: get dizzy now?
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: It's not a great feeling. Speaking of inner ear, I've
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: been listening to Lena Dunham's book, and she tells a
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: story about sticking a Q-tip in her ear and essentially
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: just destroying her eardrum.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: How far did she go?
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: Or maybe it's closer to the edge.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's closer than you would think. And
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: now I think I might finally be scared straight with Q-tips. Never.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Never. You're going in. Wait, do you know about a
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: thing called a tonsil stone?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: No.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Holy.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I don't even. I'm already so devastated.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: Okay. Do you want to know?
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Yes. I think, I mean, I should educate myself. Okay.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: So I'm not going to say who had this in
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: my household, but they were complaining of, like, it felt
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: like something was stuck in the back of their throat.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: And I looked in the back of their throat and
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: there was like a white thing. What looked like almost
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: like strep dots, you know?
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: So I tried to– I took a picture of it. Nothing– like,
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, I took a picture of it. It was fine.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: But it just didn't seem like– it looked like a heart.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: piece of white. Okay. Got my finger in there hard
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: as a rock.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Lodged in the back wall.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: How big would you say it was? Size of a skittle?
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Half of a skittle.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Half a skittle, okay.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: Like a skinny skittle. And then at that point, this
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: person began to panic.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: Okay. What is it? Get it out. Why is it there?
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: So I searched, what's this hard white thing in the
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: back of the throat? Knot strap. Tonsil stone. Some people
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: have tonsils with little nooks and crannies and calcium and
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: germs and food particles build up into these little nasty stones.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: There's like a Reddit thread that About how bad they
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: smell when you get it knocked out if you hold
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: it in your fingers and crush it. We didn't ever
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: get to that point. But I did order a tonsil
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: stone kit.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: For removal.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: So you can do it at home.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: Yes. We were planning a trip to the dentist because
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: we didn't really know what to do.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: But we shot some water back there like with the
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: like water pick thing. Right. And then in the morning
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: it was gone. He just swallowed it. We loosened it,
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: I guess. Is that the most disgusting thing you've ever heard?
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to educate people because I feel like
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: I know a lot about things. This was a new one. Like,
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: no one ever told me.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: How long does it take for it to build up?
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: It must be months, right? And you just don't know?
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: You would think so, but, like, it's happened several times since.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: And it just, like, all of a sudden it bothers them.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: And they're... Complaining about it, and then we shoot water
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: back there, or we use a little tool. Oh, this
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: is horrible. Anyway, it's horrible. You're not going to get them.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: You've never had them. I've never had them. Certain throats.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Certain throats. I mean, I wish I could get my
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: tonsils removed. I get strep throat probably every other year.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: You do. I mean, my entire life I've gotten strep throat,
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: and it's awful.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: It's not a good one.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: It's so terrible.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: But apparently getting your tonsils removed is... Like people die.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: What?
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: Because of the hemorrhaging?
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the hemorrhaging.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: They did have a pit. There was a girl in
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: the pit with that.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Had her tonsils removed.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: She was hemorrhaging post tonsils and like her sibling brought
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: her in or something. Her parents were out of town.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think unless you get them removed as a kid,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: it's a real, I mean, like danger. So I guess
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: it's not in my future. Although you think they'd be
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: pushing the science on that. Find a new way to
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: remove them. Burn them out.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay. That's your go-to.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Support me. I'm trying to help the medical community here.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I'm pitching ideas. Burn tonsils.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Just brand them.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Yes. Well, as much as I'd like to continue down
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: this road, I'm not feeling a lot of support.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: So I guess we should move on to something else
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: I felt like I had to talk to you about anyway.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: You were on the podcast a couple of years ago.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Total disaster.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I would say it was a mess, but we moved on.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: We had to.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: At that point, we kind of had no choice. What
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: choice did we have? We had gotten so far down,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: rock bottom. So I thought, why not? Let's see if
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: Lennon can come back and we'll have a better time.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Podcast is called i said no gifts so um that
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: was kind of one of the central problems last episode
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: i was a little surprised to see you brought another
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: gift today did you see it i saw the bag
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: i certainly saw the bag.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah because it makes the statement.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: It makes a huge statement can i show it to
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: you yeah of course.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: Let's party.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: It's a dog with star-shaped glasses and i.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Mean it's right on Like, on subject, right?
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: It's in the zeitgeist.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: It's in the zeitgeist. I will say they missed an
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: opportunity with a pun here. Let's pa... No, no. Let's party.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Let's party?
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Let's party.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: That's good. Bag company, reach out. All right. Let me
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: reach in here. Ooh. I feel like we're having a
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: tissue renaissance on the podcast. Guests are bringing tissue again. Oh. Okay.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Reaching in.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: What is this? I'm so sorry. What?
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. It's a towel. I'll say a filthy towel.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: Just from the years of yellowing. It's very old. It
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: has never been used, but it was in my costume bins. Bins, plural.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: And I reached, I didn't realize it was so yellow,
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: but I didn't have time to give it a wash.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: And probably all of the words would fall off.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: It says, I love Kathleen. Is this Kathleen Turner?
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: That's me. That's you. Kathleen is my, was my middle name.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Who made this? It was made by Raymond Wong in Greenville, Mississippi.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: He owned the local Chinese restaurant and also he began
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: a printing business. We had been in Delta Center Stage
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: Community Theater Productions and had gotten friendly. Not to mention
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I was there every Friday and Saturday night singing karaoke.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: And he asked me to be the face of his
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: campaign to launch... The new printing side of his business.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: This was the perfect launch.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: There are hats. There were shirts. There was a commercial. What?
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: And I didn't feel comfortable with him using my real name.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: So I said, can you use my middle name? And
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: then he gave me all this merch. But in the commercial,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: I'm just like standing in a field in Mississippi going, hey,
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: I love– and then just says, I love Kathleen. And then, yeah,
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: but that's my face. Because I'm naturally a blonde. Not
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: that color yellow.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Wait, so was the brand called I Love Kathleen?
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: No, it was just like Wong Printing or something.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: This feels like some confusing branding issues to launch in
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: such a strong way. To have you as the spokesperson.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: I think the plan was like.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: Like my boyfriend loved me so much that he got
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: me all this merch that said my name on it.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: I love Kathleen.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: Custom merch. Who drew the picture of you?
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Unclear. I don't know. I don't know the artist.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Is this some sort of copyright at the bottom?
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: Maybe so.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: That's been washed off.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Not really.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: So do you still have the hats and the T-shirt?
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: That's incredible. Do you have the commercial?
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, you've got to find that at some point.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: It's on a VHS, I think, somewhere.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. When was this?
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Just before Y2K. Wow, this is amazing.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: That's really incredible. Was that your first, like, on TV
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: acting gig?
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: It might have been.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: I didn't really do anything before. I mean, I was
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: all theater before then.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: And then suddenly you're the star of an ad campaign.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Of an ad campaign in Greenville. I don't think I
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: got paid. Like, it was just like a solid I
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: was doing. Raymond, he was great, though.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: Did the business take off?
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: I don't, I mean, Raymond's, Just killing it and was
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: killing it in Greenville.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Incredible.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: I know that. He had a very successful Chinese restaurant
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: with an adjoining lounge.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Right. And I'm sure people always need custom printed things.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: Always, especially in a town where there's sports events. Right,
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: of course. Graduations.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Probably at least one other Kathleen.
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: Bride to Bees. Yeah, yeah.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: What sort of plays were you doing in this theater?
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: We did... Jesus Christ Superstar. Wonderful. We did Narnia because
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: there were a lot of kids that wanted to be
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: in it. Oh, sure. We did The Apple Tree.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'm not familiar.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: That was good. I think Bernadette Peters was in that.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: Originally, it was on Broadway, but it just never crossed over.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: The Apple Tree.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: I've never heard of this.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: It was three separate. Like parables. One was like about
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Adam and Eve. One was about a cleaning lady who
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: wished to be a princess. That was me. That was
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: like a Carol Burnett moment for me. We also did
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: a one-act play that was just me and this other
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: woman named Sonia Bixler and Tim Bixler, her husband, directed it.
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: And we went all the way to SCTCs. southeastern theater
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: conference and performed it there in competition did you place
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: i can't remember i don't think so did that feel
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: like it but we like made it out we we
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: like placed in state which enabled us to go to.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: That must have been pretty cutthroat yeah.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: I don't i'm unaware it was.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Fun yeah that's incredible it must have been good it
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: must have been pretty good yeah so did you have
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: like friends and family buying the i love kathleen merch.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: No it was only for the commercial there was no
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: no they didn't make a whole line of this no
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: this was just missed opportunity you think these would have
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: flown off the show off the shelf just tickle me
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: elmo this is furby I mean, we could put it
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: in Ross and see how it does.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Just throw that on a shelf with dirty towels. It
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: probably wouldn't be the dirtiest thing in a Ross. Wow,
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: if I saw that on a shelf somewhere, I think,
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: especially now, this would be something people would pick up.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: I love Kathleen. A t-shirt that says that? Incredible.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: Thank you for thinking it was Kathleen Turner. I appreciate that.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: I really love her.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: She's great.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: And, I mean.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Or Kathleen Chalfant.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: Who's that?
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: Broadway, Broadway actress.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I love that last name, Chalfant. Yeah. Wow, is she
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: still working? She's still alive?
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Probably.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, good for her.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: I hope so.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: Good for her. Okay, well, this is very exciting to have.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Sorry, I know you said. I just, I had to
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: go into my basement and.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Root around a little bit. This is really wonderful. Have
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: you ever made any custom type of stuff like this
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: for yourself?
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: For myself?
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Custom t-shirts for people. I've never considered a custom towel.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: It's never really clicked.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: They made, you know, for Playing House, they made a
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: lot of merch to give out to people.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: And they, like, people would win, like, fan awards.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: And they would, like, send them baskets of cool things.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: And I got a couple of those things. But then...
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: Those things are almost always so much better than the
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: at the end of the production. We like give out
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: like a mug or something to our crew to say
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: thank you for being the best for the last three months.
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: But it came out of our pockets. And so it
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: was just like a. A tumbler that literally is hand
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: wash only with something on the outside. You know, it
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: says Playing House Season 3 on the outside and then
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: it melts immediately in the dishwasher. Anyway, yeah, I guess
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: we had to come up with like crew gifts a
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: couple of times.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: That's stressful.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Figuring out how much you can spend and then not
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: wanting to.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: Who wants to go in on it. Yeah.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Not wanting it to look like total garbage. Right. Oh, yeah,
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: that's a tough road to go down. I do like
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: making a custom T-shirt or that kind of thing. I
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: need to get online and make something for myself. I
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: wonder what it'll be. Let's see. Well, this might as
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: well be an ad. We have merch for this podcast,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: and there's a T-shirt that I really like, but I
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: can't wear it.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: Because it's your own podcast?
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: So tacky.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Does it have your face on it?
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: No, but it has the podcast's name. I guess I
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: could scratch it off.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: How many people, as you walk past, would be like, Like,
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: how many people?
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: I don't want to find out.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: But you like it. You like it because.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: I think the design's really cool. But there's, I feel like.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: You could sleep in it. Yeah. Wear it inside out.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Well, see, now we're just losing. You could wear it
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: only at your own parties. I almost feel like if
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: it had my face on it, it would be more
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: appropriate to wear because it would be more obviously a choice.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: You know, I've decided to wear my face on my body.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: You want me to make you one?
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: You'll be able to call Raymond Wong.
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: And say, what are you doing today? There was a
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: T-shirt shop at the Eagle Rock Mall.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Okay. I love the Eagle Rock Mall.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: That our assistant, Claire, who's gone on to be an
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: amazing creative on her own account, used to go and
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: just make insane things, printed, custom printed T-shirts and stuff.
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: I don't have any.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: At the Eagle Rock Mall.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Interesting. I feel like a lot of stores have shuttered
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: in the Eagle Rock Mall.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: It's a ghost town.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: It's a real ghost town.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: But that makes it better for like riding those little
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: scooters around.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: If you're a kid. You don't have to worry about
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: anything happening. Yeah. And I like wandering around. They have
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: the grocery store and then essentially a church and a karate.
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: There's a church now? Like where the Macy's was?
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: No, the church is near the Target. It's a pretty small.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: It is. Oh, it's a little one. Yeah. Like an evangelical.
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: Right. Probably formerly the Gap.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: Do you think that mall had a gap in it?
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: I'm not ruling it out. Okay. It had its own Macy's.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: Back in the day?
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, in the day it probably had a gorgeous Gap.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: Gorgeous Gap.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: Gorgeous Gap. Well, I'm so thrilled to have this. This
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: is going to be a nice part of the studio, actually.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you could wash it.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: No.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: Just be careful.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no. This feels like it should be
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: dirty forever. It's really a gorgeous towel. You know, there were.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: These two twins, Nicole and Danielle Giammo, who made merch
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: for Playing House that was totally illegal.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it was, like, illegal. We encouraged
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: it because nobody else was making merch. And we were like,
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: go for it. And I don't know if they turned
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: a profit. I don't know who was buying it. But, like,
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: every catchphrase we said on the show, a new T-shirt
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: would pop up. And you could get it in, like,
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: a baby onesie. Like, it would say Team Bruce with
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: a hot dog, like, from an episode that didn't even
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: ever air. Like, it was just all of this amazing merch.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: And I have because they... They sent me some of
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: those T-shirts.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is sweet.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: And so it's just like, open yourself up to love
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: in some games. That was like a line I said
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: in one of the episodes. And now I have a
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: T-shirt that sometimes my son wears to sleep in.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's really sweet. Good for them.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: Did they return a profit on this illegal merch?
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: I hope that they did. I hope that they're both
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: doing great, though.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, good for them.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I follow along. One just got engaged in the most
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: beautiful way. And I was like crying watching the engagement video.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: I've met them in person once at the Today Show.
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: I've invested in their lives.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: They're like, why won't this lady leave us alone?
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, probably. They're like, why is she commenting on this
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: video that's very personal?
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I think we should play a game. Maybe two games.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: I need a number between 1 and 10 from you. Six. Okay.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: I have to do some light calculating to get our
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: whatever you want.
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: Okay. Follow me, bitches. At Lennon Parham. P-A-R-H-A-M. And Instagram.
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: That's pretty much it.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: Beautifully. Beautifully done. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: Go watch The Dink.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Right. The Dink. The.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: But dang, it's about pickleball and tennis. And I was
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: in scenes with Ed fucking Harris.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Unbelievable.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: Dream come true. And my sidekicks, Wayne Wilderson and Don Lake,
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: Dream of Dreams. Jake Johnson. I mean, there's just so
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: many incredible people.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: And it's D-I-N-K. Yeah.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: Not the dank basement.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: The dink. Oh, that's an interesting movie about a basement.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: The dank.
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: The dank.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Heading into the dank.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: I just sound like a movie that you would literally
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: see right now. These seven, like 17-year-old girls go into
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: the dank.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: And then they're just like, there's a monster down there
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: eating those dank ankles.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: This is a back rooms type thing.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: The dank. Somebody, we've given you an idea.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: You could make it for under $ 200, 000. It'll air on Prime.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: It'll be lost into the pile of Prime. All right,
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: we're going to play Gift or a Curse first. I'm
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: going to name three things. You'll tell me if they're
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: a gift or a curse and why. Then I'll tell
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: you if you're right or wrong because there are correct answers.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Great.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: All right, this first one is from a listener named Carlos.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Gift or a curse, water parks. Curse. Why?
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: My friend Kelly cut her foot, sliced her foot wide open.
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: at French whatever that place is in Iowa.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: French something. Oh, my God. I can't with this brain.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: French water park.
• 38:31
  Speaker 3: Okay. Literally was going down the slide, flipped upside down,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: gushes of blood, like jaws in the end pool. No,
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: thank you. I already didn't like it. I already was like,
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: I don't know, like, It seems just so disgusting. Also,
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: you're just in your swimsuit all day, like, just damp
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: and running around. Like, there's just so many levels of yuck.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I get that you can go and
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: have fun with the whole family. Not I, said the cat.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: Is that correct?
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: Incorrect.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: Bullshit. You know she went back, though?
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: She went back because?
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: French lick.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: French Lake is the name of a water park?
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: That's the name of a town that has a bunch
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: of water parks. But it was so far from the hospital. Kelly, please.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: Kelly is also a professor of television studies in Chicago
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: and she's very smart and very talented. But her opinion
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: of water. parks is wrong.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: But she's alive and well. Her career is thriving, and
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: she's getting to have the time of her life.
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: Had nothing to do with a water park, though.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Well, she wouldn't be where she is today without all
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: the fun she had at water parks. This is a
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: recent turn for me. I haven't even been to a
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: water park in probably 20 years.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: Tell me more.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: It just occurred to me about a month ago, water
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: parks are a good time. I'm sorry. Going down a
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: slide is very fun.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: A slide is fun, yeah.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: Getting a watery, slidey tube. You're having the time of
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: your life. I know. I feel like we've gone too
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: far saying they're disgusting. They're not that disgusting.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: There was also a case on The Pit about this.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: The water slide collapsed and the sun was literally killed,
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: like cut in half. And the dad was like, where's
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: my son? So I'm like, there's just too many.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: No.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you something about that son, though.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: When he died, he was having fun. There are very
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: few places where you can die having fun.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: Bungee jumping. I don't know. Shark dive, scuba diving.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: But see, those are things where it's just like like
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: bungee jumping. It's fun once. Water slide. You're having fun
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: all day. Then the big horrible thing happens. And what
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: a way to go out. Cut up the collapsing water slide.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: We've got to change the conversation.
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: Have you ever gone down a water slide in like
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: basically a bikini bottom?
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm putting it on my list.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: So the minute. that you get going fast enough, that
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: is ripping your anus in a new one, okay? Literally, like,
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: the biggest wedgie you've ever had. It doesn't happen on
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: men's shorts, okay? Bathing shorts. It only happens on women's
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: one-pieces or bikinis, which if you're wearing a bikini at
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: a water park, God bless, because all those te-te's are
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: coming out, okay? And then you hit the pool, and
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: then before you come up out of the water, you
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: have to be like, like, fixing your All your business
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: to make sure none of it came out.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: Then your heart is racing twice, down the slide and
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: then in the panic of people seeing you.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: And that's also not the water park's fault that somebody
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: dressed in a poor way.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: What am I supposed to wear?
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: A huge pair of board shorts. Okay. Jams.
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Do you want me to put jams on?
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: Jams.
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: Jams.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: And a button-up shirt. Get into it. Water park's. We're
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: changing a conversation. It's time. It's a renaissance. Okay, this
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: next one is from a listener named Corinne. Gift or
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: a curse? Wearing a baseball cap with a ponytail and
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: not putting your hair through the adjustable space at the back.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: Gift or a curse? I think it's dealer's choice. You
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: could do whatever the fuck you want, Corinne. Listen, I've
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: done both. I think it's there for a reason. So
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: for me, use it.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: But, like, there's a bunch of women rocking baseball caps
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: that don't have a pony.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: And they're just kind of stuffing their hair in there?
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: No, like short hair. You just put it over top.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: Well, it seems like Corinne is saying you do have to, like,
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: is it a gift or a curse if you do
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: have a ponytail and you're, I don't even understand the
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: physics of this really, but piling it on your head
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: and pulling a hat over it?
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: No, it would just be.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, but it's a ponytail.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: But you just wear it down below the hat.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, below the hat. Oh, interesting look. Okay. Well, what
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: do you think, gift or a curse?
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: I think it's supposed to be tacky to do that,
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: but I think it's great. Because also a windstorm comes through,
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: it's hanging on. You're not going to lose your hat.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: Right. Correct. I think that's a gift. Now that I've
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: pictured what that actually looks like, kind of just forcing
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: the ponytail down your back. I think that's a good look. Okay, next.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: This is from a listener named Corey. Gift or a curse,
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: hotel lamps with USB outlets built in. Curse.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: Because the USB outlet has already changed. It's not a USB-C,
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: is it? No charger is going to work with that anymore.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: And unless you're traveling with five different kinds of chargers,
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: you're not going to be able to charge anything.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: Correct. I was going to mouth. The answer is it
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: is a curse. No, this is something that I think
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: is an obvious mistake. Because even if I had USB-C,
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: in five years, there's going to be some other slithering
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: port that we've got to use. It's really a huge,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: it's a thing that's like trying to say, oh, look
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: how luxurious. Look, we're so with it. Two years from now,
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: you've got to switch that out or it's going to
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: look so dated and tacky.
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: That's right. And guess what's always in fashion? Light. So
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: just let the people bring their own plugs.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, all we need is a plug. We've got to
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: just also just settle down on plugs or the USB shapes.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: So many plugs.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Enough is enough. Let's just pick one and do it
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: for like 20 years.
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: Can we?
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: At least.
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, how much faster do we need to charge things?
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: We held on to USB for quite a while. And
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: then it was like the dam broke and it was
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: like a new different port. It's a lightning port.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: It's a thunder wire. I don't know.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: It's not fair. Well, you got two out of three.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Pretty good.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: We're going to play a game now called Invite List.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: I'm going to start naming a list of celebrities. You
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: say invited or not invited. You can tell me why
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: if you want to. Once we get to ten, that's
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: the invite list. That's who's coming to the party. Okay.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: Elizabeth Holmes. Okay.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Is that the girl?
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: Famously, with the blood company. No, that's Elizabeth Smart. This
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: is another true crime. Elizabeth Holmes started the company with
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: the blood drop, which was scamming everyone.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Then went to jail.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: The great Liz Merriweather series, The Dropout.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: That's right, yes.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: Nah.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: Okay. Judith Light.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: Vanessa Hudgens.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: No.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Janelle Monae.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: Mickey Rourke. Robin Wright.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Emeril Lagasse.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: Ryan Gosling. Uh-huh. Jack White.
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: I'm thinking my friend Michelle would be mad if I didn't.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, sure. That sometimes plays into a party list.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: Derek Hough. Oh.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: RuPaul. Yes.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: Rooney Mara.
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: Girl with the Dragon. Yeah.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: Nick Lachey.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: Uh-uh.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Pink.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's 10.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Pink's a great one.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Pink, like water slides, has had a huge renaissance because
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: of the flying.
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: You think because of the flying, Pink is having a renaissance?
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: She's been flying for a minute.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: I think the flying, though, was really what brought her
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: back into... the conversation. Everyone is on board with the flying.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: Whether you're a fan of Pink's music or not, you
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: love that she flies.
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: You do love, I mean, I guess. Do you love
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: that she flies?
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I'm not a Pink fan, but I'm a fan
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: of her flying.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: I like that she flies too.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: I would go to a Pink concert to see somebody
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: flying through the air.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: She has a daughter that is a musical theater fan,
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: and we connect in that way because my daughter also
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: loves musical theater. And so she's done a lot to
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: support that community, including just now hosting the Tonys.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, right. She was so great at the Tonys.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: Legendary. Incredible. Like very much wanted to be there, was
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: like so excited to see everybody. And it just made
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: it feel like good.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: Like not old, you know.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: Pink has really solidified herself as a cultural thing via flying.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: I think people are like fun party music. Also, who
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: else flies?
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: I mean, everybody at Cirque du Soleil, right? We're not like, hey,
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: la mine de son. You're having a renaissance because you
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: can like— But are.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: They singing I'm Coming Up?
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: No, they're not.
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: See, there we go. And everybody loves— Just a.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: Little bit, a little bit. You know that pink— okay, the
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: very first time— okay, this is— I— I had money to spend
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: on a nice vacation. And I decided to go to
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: a resort that my friend had just been to with
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: a very famous person. And it was like, to me,
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: the most expensive place I've ever thought about going. And
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: it was in Tulum. And so I booked like five
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: nights there for me and my husband. Almost like, I
• 48:49
  Speaker 3: did it. We're doing it.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: And we were also bi-coastal. Like I was here for,
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: I was in LA for three weeks and then back
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: in Brooklyn for a week. And he was a public
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: school teacher. So it was like a whole thing.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: And we got there and Pink was there. Oh my God.
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: With her husband. And I mean, this would have been
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: in like 2009 or something. And there was like a
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: peyote hut or something. that we witnessed them go into
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: and then stay for hours and then come out. Like
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: I witnessed Pink exit the tiny hut.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: She might have gotten the idea for flying in that hut.
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: It might have been given to her by the gods. Right.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: That feels like the right timeline. I don't remember her
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: flying pre-2009, you said?
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: I think that's, you probably witnessed history.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: And here I am just standing waiting for the tortilla
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: to be made and just so uncomfortable that someone is
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: serving me.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: They're making the tortilla right in front of you.
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: Right in front of you.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: I love a nice tortilla.
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: But it's like a table-side tortilla?
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: No, there was a woman in the center of the
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: hotel making tortillas all day.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: Desperate for attention.
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: She had her tits out. It was terrible.
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: It wasn't even an employee. The hotel is begging this lady.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: Maybe that's where Pink got that idea. This place was...
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: You know, life-changing for all of us.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, well, that sounds like a dream vacation.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: It was okay.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: It was okay. I feel like once I've spent over
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: a certain amount of money, it stops being as enjoyable
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: as it could be. I think that's true. Now the
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: pressure starts to mount that it needs to be as
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: enjoyable as possible.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: And then you ruin it for yourself. Yeah.
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: It was the first time that I'd ever spent. I mean,
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: and it wasn't even that, like now I know it
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: wasn't even that much money, but it felt so lavish.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: And like, I knew I deserved it because I've been
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: working so hard for so long, waiting tables and like just.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: Now I have it and I can take myself on
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: a proper vacation. It was just really hard to enjoy
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: it because I did enjoy the night swimming.
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, the best. The best. You know where you can
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: do that? Water park.
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: No, they close at 7.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: Well, this is part of the problems. This is part
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: of the changing the conversation. They need to be open later.
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: How much more dangerous would a water park be once
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: the lights go out?
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: A water park should be open at least as long
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: as a Ross dress for less.
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: I want to know the number of people that get
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: injured on the daily at Raging Waters.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: They should have a sign-up, just letting people know.
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: It's been 17 days since someone died and 20 minutes
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: since someone got their leg cut open.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: Okay. We need to answer a listener question. People are
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: writing in to isaidnogifts at gmail.com. Will you help me
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: answer a question?
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: I would love it.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: All right, this is Dear Bridger and Delightful Guest. I
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: have recently gotten married for the first time. Not bragging,
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: it's just true. Well, you can do both. Like any
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: couple with some class, we, of course, said no gifts.
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: We already have an established home, premaritally. I know this
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: person's pushing, they're really walking a line here. And have
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: very discerning tastes. It doesn't have to be expensive or
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: high quality, but does have to have a certain essence.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: We already have. We said no gifts. Okay, I don't
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: know what's happening. Anyway, guests came with gifts, but one
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: in particular left me absolutely aghast. A longtime friend of
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: mine gifted us what can only be described as the corny,
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: distant cousin of a good gift. If you had a
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: decent idea, but then found its closest counterpart at a
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: Spencer's gifts and presented it in earnest. Does that make sense?
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: Say that one again.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: She's comparing it to like if you had a decent
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: idea for a gift, but then you went to Spencer's
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: gifts and got its closest counterpart. That's what this gift was.
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: She's not going to tell us what the gift is?
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: I guess not. What the hell? I know, this is unfair.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: It was an egregious display of just how deeply she
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: does not understand me. This could be forgivable if this
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: wasn't the most recent incident of her being a thoughtless
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: and self-centered friend in a run that has lasted several
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: years now, like demanding we invite her new boyfriend the
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: week of the wedding and leaving the reception early when
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: we Okay. I'm just going to say I'm on the
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: friend's side right now. My question for you today is this.
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: Do I cause a scene and destroy the friendship in
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: a fiery blaze that may teach her to think about
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: people other than herself? Or do I quietly disappear from
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: her life and simply not respond the next time she
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: calls upon me to dissect her situationship over brunch? Sincerely yours,
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: disgruntled and disheartened. They didn't even leave their name. They're
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: that ashamed of their behavior. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I, okay,
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: I've already said I'm on the friend side.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: Those are the only two options.
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: Cut them out or have a dramatic breakup.
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: I hate to break it to you, but I think
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: that this person's probably already doing that because of this
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: kind of vague email. The behavior displayed here, not telling
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: us what the gift was. Disgusting. talking about someone who
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: came to your wedding, and this problem with leaving early
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: when we didn't, if that was a problem, then I
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: would be banned from every party that ever happened.
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: Well, a wedding is different, isn't it?
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: The reception?
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I think you kind of have
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: to stay for a little while, right? You have to
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: stay through the main things.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you can kind of come and go. Unless
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: it's like six people.
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: Come and go. What does that mean?
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: Show up days later.
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: You're in a full wedding regalia and you just are like,
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: I'll be right back. Got to run to the store.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: Then you're just gone for a little bit. It's a
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: whole thing.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: I've got to get to the gym. Okay, maybe you
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: do want to stay to the end of a wedding.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: But I also, if somebody left early, I'd be like.
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: Forcing us to invite your new boyfriend.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: That, again, I think is... Well, we're simply not answering
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: her question.
• 55:37
  Speaker 3: I think on a real tip, you feel hurt by
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: this person repeatedly because they don't see you. You feel
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: like they don't know who you are. They only are
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: telling you who they think you are, and it's not
• 55:51
  Speaker 3: at all who you are. And you've spent a lot
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: of time on this relationship and all for naught, and
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: it doesn't feel good. And they seem to be fine
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: with it.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: They seem to be fine with it. And meanwhile, this
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: person refuses to have any sort of honest conversation with them.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: She's he or she or they is too busy writing
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: into podcasts to approach them directly. So, I mean, everything
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: about this says I'm on the friend's side here. Go
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: talk to the friend.
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: See what happens.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: See what happens. If it's an explosion, that's a story.
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: I don't know what you would say, though. I didn't
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: like your gift.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: I hated your gift. Why did you leave early?
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: I think she just doesn't like this person.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: I think she's afraid the person's going to say they
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: don't like her.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: Either way, cut and run, bitch.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: Cut and run, bitch. Put that on a towel.
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: Full of surprises. What did we say? No, forget it.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: Forget it. Well, I'm thrilled to have my new towel.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: I love Kathleen March.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: Even though... You told me not to bring anything. I'm sorry.
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: It's a Southern thing. You have to bring a gift.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: And this one felt appropriate. Oh, good.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: A dirty, dirty towel. You know what? When you go
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: to a water park and you cut your leg open, inevitably,
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: you can use it to wrap until they airlift you
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: to the pit.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: I will only go to the pit, by the way.
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: I don't care where I am. That's the nearest hospital.
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: I trust the pit only.
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: And if Noah Wiley isn't doing it.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: Forget it. Just let me die. Throw me in the
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: wave pool.
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: Bleed out on the table.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy you could be here.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: Thank you for asking me.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: It's a treat and a treasure.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: A treat and a treasure.
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: And every time I come, I'm happier than when I arrived.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: Listener, the podcast is over. I have my towel. If
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: you want one of your own, that's something you'll have
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: to kind of figure out how to make. I have
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: to move on with my life. I don't care how
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: you spend the rest of your day as long as
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: it's fine. I love you.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: Goodbye.
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: I said no gifts is an exactly right production. Our
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by miracle
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: booker Patrick Kottner. You must follow the show on Instagram
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: at I Said No Gifts. That's where you're going to
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: don't you want to see the gifts?
• 58:37
  Speaker 3: Well, I invited you here.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: I thought I made myself perfectly clear When you're a
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: guest in my home You gotta come to me empty-handed
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: I said no gifts, your presence is presence enough And
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: I already had too much stuff So how did you
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: dare disobey me? guitar solo