Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / MOTHERHOOD IN FOCUS: Emily's Mom Deena Abbate On the Importance of Cherishing Every Day

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MOTHERHOOD IN FOCUS: Emily's Mom Deena Abbate On the Importance of Cherishing Every Day · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is one lesson that I've taught you to be fierce? Oh,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: fierce is such a word. If you want something, go
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: for it. Hey, everyone, Emily A body here bringing you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: the final installment of this week's in Focus on Motherhood series. Today,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: for Hurdle, I am bringing on a very special guest
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and that is my mama, dina A.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: It was a special conversation.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It's interesting as I listen back to the conversation because
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: as I do every week, I'm always a little analytical,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and I'm wondering what else.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Should I have asked, what else should we have gone into.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I think what I loved was getting to know a
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: little bit more about life before she had both me
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: and my brother, and also just more about her perspective
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: and what life was like for her on her end
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: when I was going through different stages in my life.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: In today's episode, she shares what it was like for
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: her to kind of play pang pong between the two coasts,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: growing up in Long Island, moving to California, moving back
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: to the East Coast to get married to my dad,
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  Speaker 1: how she felt about going back to school after having me,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: and finding a great sense of purpose after she became
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: a nurse.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: She also shares some of.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Her proudest moments as a mom, perhaps some of her
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  Speaker 1: least proud She references leaving me at five months old
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: with an.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Eleven year old babysitter. That story is something a mom
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: I forgive you.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: All in all, just a fun little conversation between a
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: mom and a daughter, one that I'm happy that we
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: got to have for the show today.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: To my mom, thank you for doing this with me.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: I love you. Happy Mother's Day. I am so grateful
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: for you. And you know what I'm really grateful for.
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  Speaker 1: I think in the last year it was a really
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  Speaker 1: special opportunity for us to slow down and to find
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: more time to just spend with each other, even though
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of that time we actually weren't together
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: at all.
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  Speaker 2: So grateful for you.
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  Speaker 1: I am who I am a large in part because
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: of you, and I'm excited for the Hurdlers to get
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: to meet and know you a little bit better today.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: A huge thanks to the Hurdlers for listening this week
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: and also for rating and reviewing the show in Apple podcasts.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Make sure you're following along with the show on social
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: It's over at Hurdle podcast I am over at Emily
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: a body. And with that, let's get to hurdling.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Today. I'm sitting down with my mom. Hello.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Hello, We're sitting in Milford, Connecticut. This is where my
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  Speaker 1: mom lives. It's a beautiful day. Did you ever think
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: that you would live in Milford, Connecticut? No, but I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: always wanted to live near the water.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Facts. That's true.
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  Speaker 1: And so when you came to Connecticut at first, did
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: you and Dad think about living by the water. Dad
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: wanted the woods. Oh, woods, hard to find woods and
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: water in the same place. Yeah, there's really not too
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: many trees around the Long Island sound facts facts. Okay,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: what I want to start off with with you is
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: to ask you if you always knew that you wanted
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: to be a mom. I always wanted to be a mom. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I wanted the boy first and the girl second. And
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I got that.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: You found out that Matt was going to be a
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: boy before you had Matt. No, you didn't.
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  Speaker 1: No, but when we were trying to choose baby names,
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  Speaker 1: we couldn't come up with a girl name before no
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: girl name, And when we were going for you, we
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: had no boy name. Really, I can't believe I didn't
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  Speaker 1: know that you didn't find out the gender before matt
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  Speaker 1: was born. No, Matthew, I had no opportunity to find
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: the gender, nor did I really want to. I had
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: more of an opportunity to find out your gender because
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: I had to have an amniocentisis before you were born. Wait,
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  Speaker 1: so what do you mean you didn't have an opportunity.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Would that have just been like an additional appointment that
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: would have cost more money. Well? Yeah, nowadays they'll tell
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: you that they can tell the sex of a baby
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  Speaker 1: through an ultrasound.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Mm hm, and they're pretty good at it.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But when I was pregnant with Matthew, they weren't
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  Speaker 1: routinely doing ultrasounds. Mm. So I don't remember having one
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  Speaker 1: for him.
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  Speaker 2: Hmm. Interesting.
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  Speaker 1: I've had friends who have chosen to do both, chosen
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  Speaker 1: to find out and chosen not to find out. Kind
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: of of the mindset that, like, when else in your
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  Speaker 1: life are you like, actually one hundred percent sent, without
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  Speaker 1: a doubt, completely surprised.
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  Speaker 2: I get it. I was surprised. I was happily surprised.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, both times, both times on the same day, on
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: the same day. Oh, that's a fun fact. I don't
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: know if I've shared that on the show before. Maybe
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I have my brother and I are born four years
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: apart on the same day, within the same hour for
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: the hurdlers.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: Also to know I was a little early. How early
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: was I three weeks? Three weeks? That's not like obscenely early.
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  Speaker 1: I started going into labor with you at twenty some
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: odd weeks.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Hmmm, you were in a rush. Oh yeah, sounds kind
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  Speaker 2: of like me.
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  Speaker 1: Today when you were having kids. You grew up with
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  Speaker 1: two siblings. Did you think when you started to have
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: children that you wanted to have three or did you
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: always want to have two? I always wanted two. If
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I would have had three, that would have been okay too,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: But I knew I wanted to Yeah, talk to me
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: about growing up for you, because you grew up We're
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: in Connecticut now, but you grew up in I was
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: born in the Bronx, and I then moved to Long
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  Speaker 1: Island when I was six.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: Six And how long were you in Long Island.
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  Speaker 1: For till I was about nineteen nineteen. What was life
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: like for you growing up in Long Island. Well, I
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: had an older brother and a younger sister. We lived
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: in Plainview, and it was a pretty good growing up time.
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  Speaker 1: My grandmother also lived with us until she passed. We
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: had a lot of neighborhood friends. It was a big neighborhood,
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  Speaker 1: so we had neighborhood friends. We went outside and we
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: played all day all night. We had a lot of
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: a lot of fun with the kids, and we always
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: had family dinners. We always went to visit the grandparents
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: because they weren't too far away. We had cousins that
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: weren't too far away. So there was a lot of
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: family around as opposed to when I got older and
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: we no longer had family around, and now there's very
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: little family. Yeah, So when you were growing up, what
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: was Grammy doing for work and what was Poppy.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Doing for work?
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  Speaker 1: Poppy was a insurance man with the Equitable for as
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  Speaker 1: long as I could remember. And Grammy was a part
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: time bookkeeper, so she was. And my father had a
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: lot of other jobs as well, but he was mostly
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: for my growing up, a insurance salesman. And so you
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: said that you were in Long Island until you were
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: at nineteen. Correct, you left Long Island and your family
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  Speaker 1: then moved to California.
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  Speaker 2: Correct. Okay, you started college.
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  Speaker 1: On Long Island. I went to college for about a year,
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  Speaker 1: a year and a half, and then we went to
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: California and I completed my first bachelor's degree at Sacramento State.
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  Speaker 1: Did you think about staying in Long Island when your
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: family was moving to California or.
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  Speaker 2: Was that like a non option?
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  Speaker 1: I thought about it, but it was a non option
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: for my parents. They were not allowing me to stay behind,
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  Speaker 1: even though my brother lived in New Jersey.
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  Speaker 2: At the time.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, but they would not allow me to stay. I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: did want to stay, did they? They didn't give Alan
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: the same He was older. He was three years older
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: than me, so he was into his twenties by.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Then, and they were like, we can't pull this ring.
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  Speaker 1: He already lived on his own. He had a full
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: time job, so he was out on his own. Yeah,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I was still under their roof. So y'all moved to California.
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  Speaker 1: You transferred to Sacramento State. And when you get to California,
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  Speaker 1: do you think this is somewhere that I could see
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: myself saying? Or the entire time you were there, you
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: were like, I can't wait to get back.
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  Speaker 2: To the East Coast.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Pretty much, I couldn't wait to get back to the
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  Speaker 1: East Coast. Why when you're in your upper teens heading
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  Speaker 1: into your twenties. Most of your friends and your familiarities
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: are where you grew up, so they were there. But
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  Speaker 1: my family was with me in California. I didn't know anybody,
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  Speaker 1: and I find that if you don't grow up with
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  Speaker 1: the people, it's not always so easy to make new
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: friends because they all have their old high school buddies
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: or their college friends. And here I was going into
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: a new college, which was not necessarily a commuter college
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: because we had plenty of dorm matories. But they I
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: lived on campus. Even though I lived in Sacramento, my
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: family lived in Sacramento, I still lived on campus, so
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I did make friends there, but they I also came
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: in in January, so they had already started. I was
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: put in with a roommate that kind of didn't get
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: along with her first roommate, so there was a whole
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: lot of people that had sectioned off with each other first,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: so I was kind of a newcomer. It's interesting to
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: me hearing you talk about struggling to find new friends
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: going to a different college, and then also in the
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: car earlier, you were talking about recently making a new
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: friend and you're not twenty anymore. And I think that
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: that is something a point of conversation that has been
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: on my mind a lot lately and something that I've
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: been talking about a lot lately with some of my
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: existing friends, because for me in New York, as more
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: and more people are leaving, Like, I feel so grateful
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  Speaker 1: for my relationships with a lot of people that are
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: no longer in New York and like they're wonderful humans,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: but I do think you need people to be, you know, around.
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  Speaker 1: I can't just spend all of my time alone because
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: all my friends have.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Left, and I think making friends is hard. It's definitely hard.
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  Speaker 1: Making friends is very hard because when you come into
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: new people or a new area, some of these people,
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: especially now at my age or or now that my
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: children aren't little, because when my children were.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Little, lots of people to make friends with.
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  Speaker 1: You you are going with your children and doing activities, and
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: you're always going to be around other people. But when
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: you work full time, you're either making your friends where
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: you work, or if you even have enough time after
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: you're done working to start looking for other hobbies and
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: activities that interest you so you can find like minded people.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: So when your children get older and they head out
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: by themselves. There you are by yourself. But a lot
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: of people now have family as well. And when I
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: moved back to Connecticut, I had no family here. There
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: was no family. My closest relative lives in New York
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: at this point, so there wasn't anybody here. I was
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: pretty much by myself in a way, so there was
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: no familial support system. When I had my children, for example,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: it wasn't like I can say to my mother, can
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: you come over and watch the children for a little
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: while so we can go out to dinner just the
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  Speaker 1: two of us.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Or something like that. There isn't that.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: And we did meet some people in the original condominium
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: complex we lived in, but they also have their own families.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: So everyone has ties, different ties to others, so to
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: be added into their circle is not always an easy thing.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: No, I mean I totally can sympathize with that. You
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: mentioned coming to Connecticut. Talk to me about the decision
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: to move from California back to the East Coast. Well,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: your dad asked me to marry him, and when I
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: had met him in New York, and we were the
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: best of friends in New York, and when he would
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: or I would come back here. Of course we would
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: see each other. We always kept in touches even though
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: we were across the country. And when he asked me
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: to marry him, I had told my parents a long
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: time ago that if I wanted to marry someone, I
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: wanted to be just like him because he was at
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: that point he was my best friend. So when he
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: asked me to marry him, his world was here. He
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: owned a business, so it wasn't easy for him to
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: pick up. It was easier for me to pick up.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: And so I did leave my family behind over there
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: because at that point my brother had already moved back
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: to had moved to California as well, so I had
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: no siblings here. And so I came to Connecticut, which
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I had never been to Connecticut before, and got off
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: the plane in New York and driven right to Connecticut,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: where I've remained now for a long time, all time,
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: A long time. Have you thought since moving to Connecticut
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: about leaving Connecticut? Well, that I think about all the time. Yeah,
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: But when my kids were little, I wanted to go
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: back to California because I wanted to be near my family. Yeah,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: but that never did come to be. Yeah, okay, So
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: you decide to move to Connecticut and Dad and you
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: get married. How far how long after you moved to
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: Connecticut to Dad and you get married? Uh?
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: About a year? Yeah? About a year?
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, So you get married and what year do you
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: get married? Nineteen eighty one, nineteen eighty one, and then
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: you have Matthew in nineteen eighty four and you have
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: me in nineteen eighty eight. Talk to me about first
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: becoming a mom. Was it what you thought that it
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: would be, what I thought it would be. Yeah, it
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: pretty much was Matthew and I. Actually we had a
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: lot of fun together. He was my buddy.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: He was my buddy.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: He was my buddy even when you were born. He
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: and I used to go out on dates. We used
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: to go for dates because I didn't want him to
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: feel left out. But no, he and I we were buddies.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I would take him everywhere. We would go everywhere together.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: And he was not an easy child, so he couldn't
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: really be be left with others for too long a
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: period of time. I was staying at home, so it
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: was him and I.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: How did that shift ones I was born.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Well, I had gone back to work part time when
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: he was about two, and then when I was pregnant
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: with you, I was also still working. Then there were.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Two of you.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: But as those years go by, you make the decision
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: that you want to go back to school.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, right, and you go back to school for nursing.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Well, I didn't necessarily know I wanted to go back
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: to school for another degree or anything like that. I
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: always wanted to be a nurse, but in the seventies
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: there were a glut of nurses. There were it was
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: very hard to even get into a nursing school. When
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I finally decided that's what I wanted to do and be,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: I applied for many many schools in the New York area.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Got accepted to all of the schools, but not directly
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: into a nursing program. That was more difficult to do.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: So I did not. Even when we moved to California,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I was not accepted into a nursing program. And I
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I was trying to do all my general education, do
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: all my sciences, get all that done in hopes to
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: be accepted into the nursing program. But they were accepting
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: maybe five a year. Oh wow, And if you didn't
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: have LA's you weren't getting in and I was not
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: a straight A student at that point, so I graduated
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: with another degree. After being in school for about four
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: and a half total college years, I came out with
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: a Bachelor of Arts degree with no direction. And then
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: when I went back to school, I really only thought
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: that to better myself, I wanted to take a class.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: But I loved science and I loved social science, and
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I did not know what I wanted to take. So
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: actually it was a choice between a course on death
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: and dying or a course on microbiology for fun, and
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: I took microbiology for fun.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: That just sounds I mean, I'm sure the death and
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: dying course could have had its perks.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: But that sounds like such a I mean.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I guess in retrospect, like one of my favorite courses
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: in college was a history course on the Holocaust, not
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: the happiest of subjects, but I was fascinated by it.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: So I would assume that you probably learned a lot
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: of interesting stuff in a death and dying course. Elizabeth
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Koobla Ross I was very interested in her philosophy. What's
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: her deal on death and dying? On the stages of
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: death and dying? So you go back and you take
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: this microbiology class and then you make the decision that
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: you want to do what. Well, actually, I think I've
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: told you this before. I went and took the class
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: locally in a local college university, and when I was done,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I got an A. And it had been twenty years
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: since I had been to college and I got an A.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And I was so proud of myself that I said, oh,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: I want to take another one. What should I take?
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: So I didn't know, and I looked at the book again,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: and I really didn't know where I wanted to go
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: with that. So I saw a counselor in the health
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: science department because I was taking sciences, and they said, well,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: what have you taken already? So I happened to have
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: not a transcript, but a whole list of the courses
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: that I took at Sacramento State University, and I said, well, here,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: this is what I've taken. And I made another appointment,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: and within two weeks I got an acceptance letter into
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: their nursing program. And I didn't apply. Now, this is
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: something that I wanted to do twenty years earlier. Yeah,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: and now it was like a dare How could I
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: not take that dare. Yeah, so they wanted me in
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: the nursing program.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: I went, I went, when you went?
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Were you were there other people your age in the
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: nursing program or were you oldest?
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say, were you the oldest? Was the oldest?
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: What movies like?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: What old people's college movies are there that we should
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: be referencing right now? Oh? I can't think of anything
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: at the moment. My god, I've seen so many movies
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: like We're like, doesn't Melissa McCarthy go back to school
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: and she's old in some movie?
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Anyway? How was that for you?
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: It was okay? Yeah, some of my you know, one
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: of my best friends now we were in nursing school
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: together and we're still really good friends to this day.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Is it Van Wilder?
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: The only one I can think of is the one
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: with Drew Barrymore and she goes back to high school
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: as the journalist.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Has that never been kissed? That's oh, that's a good one.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: That's a good one. Okay.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: How did you feel about going back to school? Did
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: you have any guilt not being a stay at home
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: mom anymore? I don't know that I had guilt at
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: that point, because you were all in school, and I
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: did this when you weren't home, so it wasn't like
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: I wasn't there, except for the fact when I had
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: to study. So there were times that I wasn't available
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: to play, but I tried to do My studying was
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: done at night or on the weekends when your dad
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: could play with you if he was home, and get
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: it done that way. But I kind of did it
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: when you when you guys weren't even home. You had
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: your own things going on. Your brother was eight by then,
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: so and you were five, so actually maybe you were four. Yeah,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: So when you graduate from nursing school, do you do
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: you think that you're gonna be for sure like a
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: nurse in a hospital or are you thinking about other
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: things that you could be doing. No, I wanted to
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: be a nurse in the hospital.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: What was that first job like for you, because that
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: was your first full time job since having children?
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Right, yes, okay.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: Well I was evenings, which was better than days, and
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: that way I could get you guys off on the buses.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: You know, you weren't You weren't by yourselves. You were
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: in after school programs and things like that, so it
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: worked out really well.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: It was it was tough to.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Be away from everybody for the whole day. So as
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: far as being a mother at the job itself, nursing
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: is a hard job, and nursing is as it's an
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: emotional and physical job. Yeah, and here I had a
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: family that I had to be concerned about as well,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: and so that that was hard too, because I at
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: that point, I think your dad had his own company,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: so he was pretty taken up with taking care of that,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: because starting a new company is not easy. Yeah, and
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: it requires a lot of time. Although nursing was a
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: demanding profession, were you enjoying it? Like?
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Was it what you thought that it would be? Yeah?
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I did enjoy it. I learned an awful lot. I
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: decided originally, even when I was in school, I thought
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be a maternal child nurse, and I
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: think even when I got closer to graduating, I thought
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I would even look into the nick you the neonatal
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: intensive care. But I didn't want to specialize at that
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: point because if you don't have enough experience, you're kind
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: of stuck there. You can't go elsewhere. So I just
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: started with the med surge and ultimately got my way
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: into the intensive care unit, which I enjoyed very much.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: That like scares the hell out of me to think
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: to be in that and well.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: And whence your critical care then you can they believe
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: you can do anything. So I used to float down
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: to the er and when push came to shove, they
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: would float over to maternity.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: To be like in that.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Like so many different like so many different capacities of
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: work then like you're just taking care of so many
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: different types of people.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: Have a favorite.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I like the ICU. Yeah, that was probably my favorite.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Why I liked the pace of it. It wasn't as
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: hectic as the ER, but it had its stress level,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: no doubt. But it made you really feel like you
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: were doing a difference, making a difference. These people really
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: needed you, and they needed you to be smart. They
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: needed you to be good with your assessments and to
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: monitor for changes because things can change on a dime.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: And it was very I loved it. I really loved it.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: When we get to the point where I am.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Going to college, do you think that do you think
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I made the right decision with where I went to college.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: I think you made the only decision. Unfortunately, I know
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: how bad you wanted Boston. Yeah, Syracuse was up there
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: as well, and then there was Yukon, which you did
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: not want to go to, but unfortunately we didn't know
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: how to afford one of the other colleges. When I
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: think about all of that in retrospect, A not scarred
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: from that experience at all.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Worked out quite well for all of us.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: I'll remember this if, if, and when I have children
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: when they're deciding, like where they're going to go to school.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: In my head, I'm going to be like, they will
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: be fine if they go to the Yukon. Of this situation,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: I totally wanted to. I mean I got into Boston,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: I got into Syracuse. I think I got into almost
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: every school that every school you applied to. We never
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: heard from Fordham ever. Oh yeah, isn't that interesting?
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: No, I always think about that. They never got back
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: to us. It wasn't in the cards. That was I
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: wasn't ready for that New York chapter yet, But I
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: think about that, that decision and us sitting at the
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: kitchen table and you guys were like, where do you
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: want to go? And in my head, I was like,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I want to go to Yukon because I didn't know
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: how to.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: Go to like I couldn't go to Syracuse. We couldn't
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: go to Syracuse. But I also think, like even when
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I remember reading the Boston the acceptance, like in the email,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: like when email first.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Really started and we opened the email and I got
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: the BEU acceptance, and like it was exciting for like
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: literally thirty seconds like that like really big thing because
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: then you immediately opened the financial aid package and it
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: like it's a joke. I think it was like two
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: thousand dollars they gave us, yeah, pretty much. And it
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: wasn't even like I was. I wasn't even bummed about it,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: because it was just like this isn't a thing, This
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: isn't a thing that we're gonna do. It was such
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: a slap in the face, like that aid package. And
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: you were a very smart student. You had a good GPA. Yeah,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: so for them not to offer you something was kind
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: of surprising or something significant, I should.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Say, because they did.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Everybody offered you something, but the private schools were just
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: more than we could afford or even know how to
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: make that happen. In high school when I started to
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: take on positions of leadership, what.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Did that What did you think about that?
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: I was very proud. Yeah, I was very proud. I'll
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: admit it.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: I took some.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Credit for it, just like I take credit for you
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: tying your shoes.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: It's interesting to me because I get asked often if
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I was raised in a certain way that empowered me
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: to kind of take that initiative and the leadership that
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: I was referencing. I was president of my region of
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: my youth group, which was an international youth which is
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: an international youth group now ben a Breath. But it
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: was interesting for me because I don't think I I
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: don't know where that came from.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't know where.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: I think about this all the time because I wanted
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: to be the person that I always wanted to be,
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: someone that helped other people.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: But I don't know. Well.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: The way I see it, and there's always two sides
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: to what people see, is that you were allowed choices.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: We always allowed you to make a choice. We could
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: guide you one way or another. But even as far
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: as religion, you were brought up with two religions. So
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: what was important to us at one point was that
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: you actually have one but can choose whatever, and we
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: chose to give you experiences in both of them, and
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: that's the same thing. We're allowing you to have a choice,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: and I think we allowed you to make your choices.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: You've always been outgoing, You've always been.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Very social.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Like we talked about not too long ago, when what
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: was what was that that you were telling me? And
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: I say, oh, when you got this new apartment, And
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I said to you, I said, well, when they said
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: to you that they were that there were five other people,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and the way that you spoke to these people, I said,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: that's how you got to be Lavinia Warren because you
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: were always interested in engaging people and finding out about them.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: You weren't always you weren't an into yourself kind of kid.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: So Mom's referencing when I was eleven, I entered ten
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: when I was grade, yes, fifth grade. When I was ten,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: I entered like this local personality contest kind of like
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: it was a personality beauty ish No, the Barnum Festival,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: because the Shakespeare Theater and barnum were up here. This
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: is where they were a barnum was it Bridgeport? And
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: they had a Barnum Festival and they chose the King
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: and the Queen and a scholarship program it is. And
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: then the youngest were the Tom and Lavinia Warren. And
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: these are all like actual real people that they kind
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: of make these makeshift roles and have these like personality
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: pageants for lack of a better designation. And Mom always
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: reflects on this that when I won this contest, so
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: to speak, at age ten, it was because I was
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: asking the judges about themselves and not just talking about myself.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: And the judge said to us, she was the only
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: one that even asked us anything. I would assume that that,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: I mean that has to be modeled behavior. Though I
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: don't think like when you're before, when you were talking
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: about like we empowered you to make choices and we
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: hope that we did good.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: I think doing good with raising me.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Is modeling good by behavior that I then, you know,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: took into my own as I was coming into my own. Well,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: we tried to make sure that you knew that kindness
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: was important, you know, understanding other people and seeing the differences.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: You also had the opportunity when you were growing up
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: you had all of Dad's family. They had longevity, so
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: you had a great grandmother, so you saw that kind
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: of a hierarchy in a family. Yeah, you saw the
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: great grandparents, the grandparents, you know, things like that. So
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: you had respect for elders, you had you were shown
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: respect for other people. And I think that's where a
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: lot of that came from. You already had that. How
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: did you feel when I because I don't really consider
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: like college like moving out, moving out like I feel
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: like obviously it's moving out. But how did you feel
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: when I moved to New York? I've realized what my
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: mother felt like when I left California.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was so much closer though.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: I know, but you still weren't right there.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: And it's the same thing now when Matthew is up
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: from Florida and he went home, I felt the same way.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I now know exactly how my mother felt when I
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: would come visit and I would go away. Yeah, because
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: even though you're in New York State, well, even if
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: it wasn't I guess if we didn't have the pandemic,
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: it would have definitely been a little busier. I mean,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: excuse me, it would have been different because I probably
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: would have seen you more than once or twice in
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty. Yeah, so even though you're close by, but
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: it's still It's not like I can say, oh, let's
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: go have some lunch. Yeah, you know, we can't do that.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: So it is different.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, and I know that you're out there, and yeah,
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: we worried being in a big city. I mean, I
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: lived in San Francisco, but New York City still intimidates me.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: It's big.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: And you you have that ability to go and do
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: and get on the subway, and you see when I
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: would come visit you, I'm sure I'm going to wind
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: up on the wrong subway, you know, things like that.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: But you got on buses, you got in the subway,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: you took the train, you went all over. You didn't
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: have that fear. But then again, we sent you to
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: camp for true weeks, let's six or seven or something
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Thoughts on sending me away every summer.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: Well, they didn't have too much option. It used to
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: be that was the option. It was one month or nothing.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: They did have a one week camp thing. Otherwise it
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: was literally a month. Do you feel like sending me
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: to summer camp in some ways was kind of like
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: an opportunity for you as a mom to also kind
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: of recharge a little bit. Yes, yeah, because as I
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: mentioned before, I didn't have any family here, so and
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: it wasn't always easy to find babysitters that you felt
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: comfortable with either. I'll never forget you were god, under
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: six months old and I had gotten this babysitter, and
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: I don't remember how I got the babysitter, and we
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: were scheduled to go to a party, and thankfully you
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: would go to sleep at five o'clock at night. Yeah,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: so that worked out pretty well. We would still get
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: home before you even woke up again. But we went
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: to get the babysitter and I don't remember what happened,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: but she was not there. So their parents decided to
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: substitute their other child, who was eleven. And here I
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: am looking at an eleven year old and knowing at home,
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: I have arguments like a five month old, No way, yes, way, wait,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: you didn't leave me with the eleven year old.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Yes we did. Oh my god.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: We were in the same town, we were.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Mom, how could you do that?
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: We only went for.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: A very short period of time. I hope it was
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: a great party we went. What was memorable at all
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: was a memorable old.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, because it was a Halloween party. Where did you
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: go as we were the Smurfs.
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: Wow wow, wow.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: But it was in the same town. We weren't gone
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: long and I will say it's your father's fault.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can't believe you did that. I
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: can't wait to grill him on this later. Oh my god,
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, he's gonna kill us. He might not remember.
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: So first, mom takeaway?
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: What is Do you have a proudest moment as my mom?
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Just one? Yeah, if you have to give me two,
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: you can give me two.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: But oh, I have a lot of really proud moments.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: Of course, when you did some of your milestones, like
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: when you walked, when you talked, m those were really good.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: Every time you graduated from something that was really good. Yeah,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: when you got to be able to do some things
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: by yourself, and that that was always good. When you
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: you were always you were a really good baby. I mean,
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: you were really good.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I'm surprised.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Nothing you're referencing is like me as an adult. Here,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: You're still I can't all start. I still have to
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: start down in the beginning. I have every magazine you've
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: ever written anything in, at least up into the self magazine,
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: because I know you do so much for freelance. Now
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I can't keep them. I have a whole folder full
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: of all your hurdle weeklies. I have a lot of
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: stuff you've written that I've kept. Yeah, because I'm proud
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: of all that I have. I don't know where your
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: writing ability ever came from. Because writing, I feel like
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: you're a great wordsmith and I can write very well,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: but it takes me a very very long time. I'm
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: not the best right away. So I'm very proud of
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: that ability of yours. I don't I don't know how
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: you do it. The fact that you lost all that weight,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: the fact that you run. I always wanted to run,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: never could, can't run and breathe. At the same time,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: when she says that she is empowered, she is capable,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I cannot start. At the same time, We're gonna have
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: to have a running workshop after we get off this podcast.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: So when you were I have a lot of proud
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: moments though. The time that you finished that first marathon. Yeah,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: every time you finish a marathon, Yeah, that's I cry
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: every single time.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: I know same.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: So you know, just the woman that you've become is
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: my is I'm very proud of. I wish I felt
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: that I was more responsible. I think you're responsible in
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: ways that you don't even realize. Probably moms are responsible
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: in ways that they surely don't realize. If you had
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: to offer me a piece of advice about raising my
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: own daughter, what would it be. You're going to make mistakes,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: It's going to happen. Just love them. How do you
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: feel about me being having some sort of a following
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: on social media?
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Well, I think it's great. Do I worry? Absolutely?
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Absolutely?
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of strange people out there, and
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: the internet is the internet now. I think this kind
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: of goes back to the theme that you were saying
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: earlier about like you just can't you have to let
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: go sometimes and just like let things happen. And I
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: think at least I'm of the mindset that sometimes I'd
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: like to like completely withdraw from social media, but I
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: feel as though it is such an important tool to
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: help me get to where I.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: Want to go and do what I want to do.
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: Social media can be a pretty amazing tool, Yeah, because
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: it reaches so many people that you wouldn't reach. If
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: you look at some of the people that follow you,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: they're from all over this world. Yeah, there's not just
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: from the metropolitan the New York metropolitan area.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: They're not just.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: From New England. But I think you have probably someone
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: in many, if not all, of the continents. Oh yeah,
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: so I don't know about Antarctica. I don't know. We'd
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: have to look into that. Not good, but it's amazing.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: And I look at the comments that people make. You
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: remember when they when you wrote something and they didn't
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: like it, and you said, don't look at these things.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Don't when you were in the beginning, when you were
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: like in doing that blog, your first job, and then
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: people would say something, not against you, but just against something,
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: and I was like, that's my child. Why are you
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: saying these bad things? Yeah, of course I don't say anything.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes I all want to protect you from
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: not getting worried about me.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Did you know that for your mom too? Yeah.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: I think it's probably different now because like my life
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: is so such an open book. Well my parents that
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: while they I think my mother went on Facebook once
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: and then said that wasn't for her because she didn't
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: want to be friended by people she didn't like, which
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: were just some other people that she did know, but
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: she she really only wanted it for family to see
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: pictures and things like that. Ye, being so spread apart
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: with whatever few family that was left. No, it is,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: it's difficult. And I know you do that because I
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: have seen some pictures that you post after your home
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: safely on ground, some of your rock climbing pictures and
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: things like that that you've done in the pack growd.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: If you had a guess, where do you see me
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: in ten years?
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's tough. That's a tough one. I know where
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I'd like to see you in ten years.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: Where would you like to see me in ten years?
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Every parent, or maybe I shouldn't say every parent, this
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: parent would like to see you. You have your career set.
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: I'd like to see your personal life set. Yeah, then
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: I know it's all good. I know that my kids
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: are happy, healthy and living their best life. That's all
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: I want. And I would like to see that sooner
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: than to years, because I'd like some time to enjoy that.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: You talk like you're on your way out, and it's
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: like just so awful. I'm not, We're not. We have
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: so much time. Never never say whatever's just.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Hold on to this time at this moment and I
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: can listen.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: You have to take time.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: You have to take it now while you haven't.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: You know, well, everybody's healthy, thank goodness. I mean that
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: was scary when you were in New York and and
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: that was so riddled with COVID. Yeah, and you know,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: but I knew that you would that you took it seriously. Yeah,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: as opposed to your brother who did not take it seriously.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: He also lives in Florida. And he lives in Florida.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: You know, we worry. Parents worry that their kids are
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: going to be sick, that their kids are hurt.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: How old you are. Yeah, it makes no difference. What
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: is one lesson that I've taught you.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: To be fierce? Oh?
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: Fierce is such a word. If you want something, go
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: for it. You know how I finished the podcast off
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: piece of advice before you ever became a mom, what
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: do you tell yourself? Cherish every single day because they
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: grow up so fast. I always used to look at
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: when I would hold you, I would look at your
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: little hand and try and put that in my brain
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: that I would not forget what that little hand looked like,
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: or that little foot or anything like that. I used
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: to say, I want to see this, I want to
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: remember this. So many times we let things just go
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: by so fast without stopping to take a moment, and
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: life happens so fast and you can go forward, you
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: can't go back. So don't don't forget to stop and
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: smell the little baby shampoo. It's so interesting because usually
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: at this point I would ask you to tell the
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: hurdlers where they could follow.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: Along with you. But you're not a big can't follow
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: along with me?
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: No, you can wave to her if you see her
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: on her walks in Milford. In Milford, yep, by the beach,
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: on my walks. Liking everything that you post.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: You'll see her in the likes and in the comment section.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: No, I don't comment too much, but I like everything,
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: like everything I am over at Hurdle Podcast at Emily
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: and Boddy. Happy Mother's Day Mom, Thank you Emily. Another
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Hurdle cotcard. Catch you guys next time.