Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Work Remotely
Transcript
- Lucas: So Luna, here's a number that's been rattling around in my head: Buffer's 2025 State of Remote Work report found that 98 percent of remote workers want to keep working remotely. But the same report also said relationship-building is the number-one challenge for remote employees. Luna: Yeah, and I bet mentorship is a big part of that. It's easy to feel invisible when you're just a face on a screen. Lucas: Exactly. Today we're going to talk about something we haven't covered yet on the show: how to find a mentor when you work remotely. Because the old-school advice doesn't quite apply when you can't bump into someone by the water cooler or grab coffee after a meeting. Luna: Right. You can't just 'be visible' in the hallway. So what's your first move? Lucas: I think the first move is being intentional about your 'ask.' When you're remote, serendipity is rare, so you have to engineer it. I advise people to make a list of three to five people inside their company or industry who they admire, and then send a targeted LinkedIn message or email. Luna: But how do you avoid sounding like a copy-paste template? I get those messages all the time and they go straight to my filtered folder. Lucas: Great point. You need to be specific. Mention something you genuinely respect about their work—a presentation they gave, a project they led. And then propose a low-friction meeting: a 15-minute virtual coffee chat. No commitment, no agenda. Just 'I'd love to hear your career story.' Luna: Fifteen minutes feels manageable. I've said yes to those before, especially when the person references something I actually did. Lucas: Exactly. And once you're in that meeting, your goal is not to ask 'will you be my mentor?' That's too big. Your goal is to listen, ask good questions, and then follow up with a thoughtful note. Over time, that evolves into a mentorship naturally. Luna: So it's about building a relationship, not signing a contract. That's a lot less intimidating. Lucas: Right. And there are also structured programs you can leverage. Companies like Automattic—the makers of WordPress—have internal mentorship matching programs. They even use a tool called MentorCruise for their remote workforce. If your employer has something like that, sign up immediately. Luna: What if you're at a smaller company that doesn't have a formal program? Or you're freelancing? Lucas: Then you look externally. Professional networks like the MentorCruise community or LinkedIn's Career Advice hub can connect you with mentors outside your company. And you can also join industry-specific Slack communities or Discord servers where people are open to mentoring. Luna: I've seen people have success with paid mentorship platforms too, like Clarity.fm for entrepreneurs. But that's more transactional. Lucas: It can be. But sometimes a paid initial call can open the door to a longer relationship. The key is to be proactive—don't wait for a mentor to find you. Luna: Let's talk about employee resource groups—ERGs. I know a lot of remote workers join them to find community. Could that be a good place to find a mentor? Lucas: Absolutely. ERGs are often underrated for mentorship. Many have formal mentorship pairings within the group. And even if they don't, you can attend virtual events and then follow up with someone who shares a similar background or interest. That's a natural conversation starter. Luna: What about asynchronous communication? Like, is it okay to ask for mentorship over email or a recorded video message? Lucas: Yes, and in remote environments, that's actually more respectful of people's time. Some mentors prefer to give feedback via written comments on a project or a quick Loom video. You don't always need a live call. The important thing is that you're learning from them. Luna: That's a good point because a lot of remote workers are in different time zones. Synchronous might not even be possible. Lucas: Exactly. I've seen mentorship thrive through weekly email check-ins or shared documents. The relationship is about growth, not the medium. Luna: I want to bring up one more challenge: building trust remotely. How do you establish that with a mentor you've never met in person? Lucas: Trust comes from consistency and follow-through. If you meet virtually, show up on time, be prepared, and act on their advice. Send updates on how things went. That shows you value their time. Over a few months, that builds real trust. Luna: So it's really about treating the relationship with professionalism, just like you would in person. Lucas: Right. And one more thing: don't limit yourself to people in your city or even your country. Remote work gives you access to mentors anywhere. That's a huge advantage. Luna: Before we go on, I want to mention something that's been on my mind. If this episode has helped you think about your own career development or given you practical steps to find a mentor, we'd love for you to consider supporting the show. Lucas: Yeah, we keep The Career Mentor Podcast ad-free because of listeners like you. If you find value in what we do, you can buy us a coffee—literally at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It helps us keep producing episodes like this. Luna: It's a small way to give back and it really makes a difference. Thanks for considering it. Lucas: So back to remote mentorship. I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is waiting to be asked to be a mentee. In a remote environment, you have to raise your hand. Luna: Do you have any tips for that first outreach message? Can you give us a template? Lucas: Sure thing. Keep it short. 'Hi, I really admired your work on. I'm a and I'm looking to grow in. Would you be open to a 15-minute virtual coffee chat next week? I'd love to hear about your career path.' That's it. Luna: Short and specific. I'd reply to that. Lucas: And if they say yes, prepare three questions. Don't wing it. Show that you've done your homework. That immediately sets you apart. Luna: I also think it's smart to offer something in return—like sharing a resource or helping with a small project. Not transactional, but reciprocal. Lucas: Absolutely. Reciprocity builds the relationship. And finally, remember that mentorship isn't forever. It can be a short-term arrangement, maybe for a specific skill or a career transition. That's perfectly fine. Luna: So to wrap up, the playbook for finding a mentor remotely is: be intentional, be specific, leverage company programs and external platforms, use asynchronous tools, and always follow up. Lucas: And remember, the remote world gives you access to a global pool of mentors. So don't settle for the first person who says yes. Find someone who truly helps you grow. That's the goal. Luna: Great advice as always, Lucas. Thanks everyone for listening.