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Narcissist are DRAWN to this type of person · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on? Beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about the type of person that is
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  irresistible to most narcissist, A vulnerable person.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, folks, folks,
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  folks, yes, I'm shooting in my car.
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  Still getting over this like little cold or whatever.
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  My throat is almost. I'm only 85%.
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  I'm almost sounding normal. Y'all, thanks for bearing with
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  me. But yes, yes, yes, the type
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  this, this personality trait makes you damn near irresistible
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  to narcissistic people. Like this personality trait of
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  vulnerability. Not personality trait.
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  This, this trait right here makes you like it's like a
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  pheromone to narcissistic people.
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  Y'all like vulnerability attracts narcissistic people.
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  I know people just like what attracts narcissists to you?
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  Like what are narcissists attracted to?
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  What type of person are narcissists attracted to?
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  Like everybody's going to have their preference or whatever
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  looks wise, height wise, whatever.
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  You just you know what I'm saying But that's one thing
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  that's kind of across the board with a lot of narcissistic
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  people, vulnerable people if you that's why I tell people like if
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  you are in a vulnerable state do not date watch out for the
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  dating world. Like when I say vulnerable, I
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  mean emotional vulnerability. Like you are going through a
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  loss in your family. Like you're going through a like
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  you just got divorced or you just broke up with your like you
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  just broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you
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  just going through a divorce. You just lost a long term
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  friend, a pet. The ficus you've been growing
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  for years. Just stop ficusing, you know
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  what I mean? Now you're vulnerable, like now
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  you're in an open state and I promise you, y'all, it's like
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  narcissistic people can sense it.
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  It's like it's like there's somebody vulnerable in the room.
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  Where, where are they? And they come get you.
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  They find you out. And this.
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  If y'all don't know, I do a lot of one on ones over Zoom and I
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  have like some group coaching and stuff coming up here this
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  month when my new website comes up.
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  But this happens. So that's one of the main things
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  that I hear when I'm talking to people is that, Oh no, the only
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  thing I know when I'm talking to people is that I was vulnerable.
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  That's what the one thing. There's one thing that they'll
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  say, I'll sit in the parking like I was somebody trying to
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  get my spot. I have my lights on.
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  They realize it. I one thing I hear from a lot of
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  people is that I was vulnerable when they first met me.
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  I had just lost a friend. I had just lost my mom.
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  My dad was sick. I was lonely.
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  And this there, right, that I was just in a vulnerable,
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  vulnerable state. Yeah, when you are in these
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  vulnerable states, it might make you miss red flags, right?
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  It might make you susceptible to more manipulation.
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  Like you might be ready be ready to forgive someone for something
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  that you normally wouldn't forgive them for.
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  You might overlook things that they do to you or think the lies
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  they tell. Like when you are vulnerable,
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  this new person, this narcissistic person or this
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  person that has been in your life for a long time, they take
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  advantage of of your vulnerability by sometimes being
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  there for you. Like when you're in this
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  vulnerable state, a lot of narcissist will be there for
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  you. They'll be like, you know what
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  I'm going to be there for? I'm going to be there for her or
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  I'm going to be there for him or them.
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  I'm going to be there for them through this trying time.
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  And then they're going to love me and they're going to care
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  about me. And which happens a lot because
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  when they are there for you, you feel like you owe them a debt.
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  And some narcissists will tell you that you owe them a debt for
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  being there for you. Remember, you remember when your
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  dad was sick and I was there for you.
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  They'll use that time when they were there for you as a form of
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  manipulation to get you to feel bad for leaving them or get you
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  to feel bad for holding them accountable.
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  That's why I'm yeah, I'm just repeatedly telling people this
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  right here. If you don't want, like if you
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  don't want to attract a lot of narcissist, don't date when you
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  are in a vulnerable state like you just failed it, this could
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  be like you you you can just just fail a test in college.
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  You cannot get into the school of your dreams.
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  You can get rejected. You can lose a job and get fired
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  or whatever it is. If you are in a vulnerable state
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  where you're not of like damn near sound mind and body, don't
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  go out here into the dating pool.
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  Don't get onto the dating app and just find like I'm a find
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  somebody to clap cheeks, wig and that'll be it.
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  You'll get attached to that person.
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  You'll get attached to people that you are dealing with when
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  you are in a vulnerable state. That's just how it goes.
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  And I'm just telling you, this is not me trying to blame y'all
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  because you can't control a narcissistic person.
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  You can't control what a person is going to treat you good or
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  treat you bad or be horrible to you.
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  But a lot of narcissistic people, this is when they will
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  love bomb you. Like when you're vulnerable and
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  you feel like you need someone or you feel like you're lonely,
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  That's when they will love bomb you.
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  That's when they get you right there.
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  When you feel like you need someone, you feel like you need
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  somebody to be there for you. You feel like you need to have a
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  conversation, to talk to somebody, to talk to your
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  friends. And like, you might be in a
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  foreign country or whatever, you might be by yourself in a new
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  city or whatever. And then you meet this person
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  and they love bombing you. They they take care of you
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  through this trying time. And now you feel like you're
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  indebted to this person. Like you feel like you're
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  indebted enough to this person to give them multiple chances to
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  forgive them for things that they have done to you, things
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  that they put you through you feel like you're indebted to
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  keep doing. Like going through stuff with
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  them to to stand through the test of time with them, to
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  forgive them for forgive and forget, To give them multiple
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  chances that they don't really deserve just because they were
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  there for you one time in the past.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's what I'm telling you.
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  When you're dealing with narcissistic people, that's the
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  thing right there. That really is it.
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  They were like when you if you are vulnerable, when you are
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  vulnerable, just watch out and be careful.
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  That's why I'm just telling people because, like,
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  narcissistic people can sense it out.
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  Like they can sense it out and you, they like Willie.
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  How do they tell if we're vulnerable?
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  From my dating profile? A lot of times they can't tell
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  if you're vulnerable from your dating profile.
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  Unless you have RIP mom or RIP dad or RIP Ficus, whatever, you
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  have that in your profile. You have that in your dating
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  profile, then you look like a vulnerable person right there.
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  They might reach out to you. Hey, I just lost and look and
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  they might actually be going through something similar as
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  well. I just lost my mom.
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  I know. How is that how that how that
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  feels? My dad just passed away.
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  I know how that feels. I had the ficus for seven years
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  and it just wilted overnight one night and I lost it.
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  I know how that feels. RIP ficus ficus Fido.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's how that is stupid.
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  But that's how it goes. They can use your vulnerability
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  to connect to you with that vulnerability because they've
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  experienced similar circumstances.
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  Or or or Big O. Or they can lie to you about
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  going through similar circumstances.
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  They can say, oh I I've been through something similar the
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  whole time. Be lying their asses off.
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  You just never know when you're dealing with a narcissistic
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  person if they're being truthful and honest to you because a lot
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  of people will lie their asses off.
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  There's no yeah and this will sound bad, but a lot of time
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  when you're dealing with a narcissist or toxic person, like
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  there's no incentive for them to be honest and truthful to you.
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  There's no incentive. And I just, I I'll say this too.
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  What you allow is what will continue.
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  And I know people when I say that line, I always get a few
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  comments in the comment section like well, Lee, that's victim
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  blame me. That's victim blame me.
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  Like we we don't allow it. Y'all again is what you allow
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  what will continue in your life. Not like I'll say this not I'm
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  going to do a longer video on this statement right here.
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  But narcissists only have the power you give them.
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  They only have the power that you give them in your life.
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  You know you can't control how they are going to act or react.
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  The only thing you can control is you.
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  You're in control of you. Even though they might try to
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  convince you that you are a that they are in control of you and
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  you have no autonomy, you are absolutely in control of you.
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  You are. So you have to empower yourself
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  to keep moving forward, to keep doing what you need to do, to
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  keep to keep fighting through the things that you're fighting
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  through it. You know what I mean?
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  That's what you need to do. You have to empower yourself.
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  Like I said, heal first, heal first.
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  Go through this, you know, Go through your grieving process
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  first. If you are vulnerable and you
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  are grieving, grieve first. Heal first before you get out
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  here on Tinder or Bumble or Christian Mingle or ficus.
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  Ficus Damn, What's the F word? I'm going to say ficus effing,
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  but ficus F first, heal first before you get out there and
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  start doing that. You know what I mean?
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  Heal. But that's because once you heal
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  and go through that and survive it, then you understand like
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  that. Then you you understand that
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  you're in a whole different ball game.
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  You're in a whole different code.
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  You're in a whole different zip code or whatever you want to
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  call it. You are stronger than what you
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  think you are. I'll say that right there you
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  are much stronger than you think you are, and people want to try
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  to convince you that you're not. Because the people who don't,
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  who don't like your strength, will try to keep you in a
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  weakened, vulnerable state. People who meet you when you are
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  vulnerable will take advantage of your vulnerability and your
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  empathy and your compassion by acting like they are empathetic
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  and compassionate towards you. Some of them might be actually
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  be compassionate towards you because y'all might go through
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  similar struggles together. You know what I mean?
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  The vulnerability can also be the crux for somebody to try to
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  Hoover you Now, vulnerability can help.
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  You can can get you into a relationship with a narcissist.
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  But vulnerability can also result in you getting back into
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  a relationship with a narcissist.
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  Yeah, if you go through a loss, or a family member or a friend
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  or whoever it is in your life that passes away, or you or you
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  lose. You get fired from your job.
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  You fall on hard times, whatever it is.
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  You fall into a state of vulnerability after you've
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  broken up with the narcissist and then you either reach out to
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  them or they reach out to you and then y'all reconnect.
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  So even vulnerability being vulnerable can get you back into
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  a relationship with a narcissist.
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  That trait right there can get you back into a relationship
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  with a narcissist and can get you started in the relationship
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  with a narcissist. So the healing is on you.
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  Y'all got to heal first, Grieve first.
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  Get out of your system. Take your time.
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  Like don't rush. Like y'all don't rush love.
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  Love does not need to be rushed. Don't rush the love, you know
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  what I mean? Be with y'all, let me hop off
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  this thing. I got to go into this basketball
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  game with my son and whatnot. Y'all be safe.
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  Make sure you subscribe to the channel if you already have it.
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  We're so close to 400 K 400,000 of y'all.
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  Goodness gracious. I appreciate every single one of
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  y'all. If you listen to this or
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  listening to this on album music on Spotify, hit that five stars
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  for me. Y'all I'm watching.
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  Y'all too. Thank you so much.
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  Let the hell this is out. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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• 11:39
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• 11:41
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.