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[HOTL's Got Questions] Is Masturbation a Sin? · HOTLCAST

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, welcome back to another episode of Hoddle's Got Questions.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're talking about masturbation.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, this is a fun one.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do you guys think about this?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is not an easy topic for a lot of people to talk about, but is masturbation a sin?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it it's hard to unlink it from lust.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it really is hard to unlink it from lust.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: And lust we know is a sin.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I just saw a TikTok video, this female Christian influencer, and she was like, uh, well, technically, you can masturbate without lusting.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, for one in a million people, maybe.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not really the way it works.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, your your body needs that lustful intent to reach the level of excitement which is required for the enjoyment of masturbation.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know that I agree with it.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've heard that argument before.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, gender, there is a gender component to that potentially, because men are drawn by the visual, and there's an argument that is potentially able to be made there.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but I would say on the every day for 90, probably 9.99% of people on this planet, yeah, it's it's lust is a sin, and that is what leads to masturbation or part of masturbation, so masturbation is a sin.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: So the Bible makes it really clear that sexual activity is for marriage.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like we've we've kind of talked about that as like we talked about is sex before marriage a sin.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: That goes back to um in 1 Corinthians 7 2, God establishing the the marriage relationship, and that that it that there's a beauty to the sexual side of relationship, and that masturbation is disconnected from that relationship, and all sexual activity is supposed to be within the confines of marriage between a man and his wife.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is that's the relationship.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's all these verses that are taken out of context in the Old Testament where people will say, Well, what about Onan and spilling his seed?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's about rebellion, it's not about um, you know, it's not about people masturbating in the Old Testament.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, people then will go to say, like Matthew 5, when Jesus is talking about, you know, if a body part caused causes yourself to sin, cut it off.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, he's not talking about if you're a person who is a masturbator, that you cut off your hand.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's it's not what what's being said there.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, people say, well, Jesus was talking about, you know, Jesus was talking about masturbation.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: We have no idea that there's no reality that Jesus was probably talking about that.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: He was just preaching in a sermon to all generations about what it is to the danger of lust in our lives, the danger of sin, and how we need to be careful.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: So scholars review these things, they're not TikTok theologians, they're actual scholars.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's a different foundation that we need to understand from God's word because God's plan for sex is to be enjoyed with another.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's really big in 1 Corinthians 7 4, just a couple verses after the other one, where it is about really connecting with someone to procreate, to share intimacy, to protect each other from lustful intent for other people, and to worship God.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that is what sex is, and so uh masturbation is really about keeping your body and your enjoyment to yourself, not to be shared with another person.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: That that's not God's intent.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So um w what do you guys think about just this?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is I think affects the majority of people that we know in different ways.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Statistics say that the majority of men and women now are all looking at porn.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um so the results of porn typically leads to masturbation for probably 90 nine percent of people.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: So knowing that it's a struggle for a lot of people, probably the majority of people that we come in contact with, especially with social media cell phones, making porn so accessible that masturbation becomes an issue, especially when there is a brokenness in relationships where maybe the intimacy level is not there in a married relationship or there is no relationship, it becomes a real struggle.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I talk about this topic probably one to two times a week with with people in a church who are struggling and saying, Hey, and how do I how do I deal with this pastor?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: People of all ages, people in their teens, people in their 20s, people in their 40s, people in their 60s.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is a problem.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: So how do we navigate it and still love the Lord?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, I think the first thing is to look at the idea of self-control.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like that's the first and foremost step of recognizing when there's something like this that's going on, is there is a self-control component to this that needs to exist.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Now, yes, we're acknowledging that lust is a key component of this and a huge problem of it, and sex is everywhere, like it just absolutely is.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: You can't turn on any commercial or go to any website without seeing something that is, you know, sex-based or sex-related for anything and everything that exists out there.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: And in knowing that, the self-control comes from the idea of okay, there's certain things that I just cannot be a part of.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: I cannot do because I know that lust is an issue for this reason or that reason.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: Just like if you were a person who's an alcoholic, that you would say, I can't go to a bar, I can't walk into this establishment because they serve liquor.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: The same thing needs to be true if you're a person that's struggling with lust, is you have to be able to say, I can't do this or I can't do that, which maybe that means that you don't have a browser on your phone.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe that means that you don't have certain things that you're able to access simply because you're trying to help your own self-control because you know that that's an area of weakness for you.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the reality is everything we're doing, everything we're exposed to on social media, and television, and movies, and entertainment, it all is leading to lust.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like sure.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can't watch a show anymore without kind of some just gratuitous nudity that doesn't make any sense to be in the show.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: But yet it is, because like all they're they're trying to sell something.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And what it does is lead you down a path of lust, whether you like it or not.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so you, you know, so that's the argument.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is we go all the way back to Genesis 2, 24 and 25.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: It talks about man and woman uniting to become one flesh.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: That is the physical act of sexual activity and bonding.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's where it started back in the garden.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: God put man and woman together.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, it's very clear back in uh 1 Corinthians 7, later in 1 Corinthians 7, I think it's verse 8, where it talks about hey, if you can't help but burn with lust, get married and have a relationship so that you are can gratify the the desires of the flesh within the proper bonds of marriage.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's hard because what if you're not in a relationship without your married and like you have these desires?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, those desires become from our exposure to the world.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you're in places or around people or around things or watching things that are causing you to lust, you're actually exposing yourself to the things that you know make it hard for you to have self-control.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So the the best way is to not put yourself in those situations, not be around those people, not be watch that content.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of hard because it's everywhere, it means every billboard now in society.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to be careful about how we we let ourselves burn out of control, as it says in 1 Corinthians 7.9.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so we we don't want to be controlled by our lustful thoughts.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I I share this on Sunday in a different series, but we talked about 1 Corinthians 6.12, which says, um, is everything lawful for me?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Is everything, but is it helpful or beneficial?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And will I be mastered or enslaved to it?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the problem is like, can you technically do whatever you want?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Can you technically masturbate?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Technically, you can do whatever.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: We have the freedom to do so, but it's not helpful to our future marriage.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: All the statistics about masturbation say it actually is very detrimental to your sexual enjoyment later in life.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it takes away and steals from your relationship with God because it creates guilt and shame because you're not supposed to live in that lustful way.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that's not helpful or bishop, beneficial relationship a lot with God.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then this last statement in 1 Corinthians 6.12 is um I will not be mastered by it.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: So like it is something that masters people where it's something that they need that regular release because they've trained their body to need it.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so then they're gonna have to go find that lustful thing to be able to have the release, and so then it becomes an addiction and you become master to it.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I talk to people, it's a problem.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I I cannot stop, is what they say, and it's because it's an addiction, and so it's becoming a master, and we are becoming a slave to it, and we're not a slave to Christ, we're a slave to that created that that thing.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have to be careful to keep to discipline our bodies and keep it under control, as 1 Corinthians 9 27 says, and so um and we know the fruit of the spirit self-control.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you cannot control this thing, it's because you don't have you're not exhibiting the fruit of the control spirit and exhibiting control over it, and it's a problem that needs correcting.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So uh I think it's a regular issue for people.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is so common.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, 70% of men in a church look at porn, at least at least 50% of women, that means most of them are participating in masturbation in marriages and outside of marriages.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we need to be honest about this topic and say it's a real struggle for people, and we don't want people to feel ashamed of it, we want them to get help.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can get a path to success over this, but it's difficult.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And by now, most people are highly addicted to this one issue in their own life because they've been living in a secret shame over this for years, and it's the only thing we can say is you gotta do something about it.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like it it is it is creating a disconnect for you and God, you've got to try to tackle it.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and going back to that TikTok theology, you know, technically kind of you know, I Scott, there's one scholar said in light of um kind of that that argument that oh, you could do it without sinning, it says this it's doubtful that masturbation could be a God-honoring activity.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: If masturbation could be done with no lust in the heart, no immoral thoughts, no pornography, no self-gratification of the flesh, full assurance that it is good and right, and thanks given to God, then perhaps maybe it could be allowable.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: But those qualifiers seem to negate all the common reasons people masturbate and would would really kind of take away that argument.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that the overall answer is yes, it's a sin.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a sin that you need to take to God and say, Hey, I I need help.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm sorry, please forgive me.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: I need to do better, I want to do better, I'm gonna do better, and then you need to go tell people, hey, I'm struggling.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Can you can you can you help me?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can you can you keep me accountable?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you guys think that because this is such a common thing, how do you think someone approaches that conversation with with somebody in their life and say, Hey, hey, I'm struggling with this?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I I mean I think it's one of those conversations that in my experience people bring to me, right?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I know that I mean I I get this, right?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: This is one of those things because I would do a lot of addiction counseling and really studies show that that the the the dopamine that gets released is like on the same level as like um crack cocaine or methamphetamines, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so just like the people I've counseled that are addicted to crack cocaine, it's it I have the same conversations with the people who are addicted to masturbation because they're they're I mean it is a real thing and nobody goes into that thinking it's gonna get that kind of hold on them.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right and when it does, like you said, then that shame game starts.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then and but but like if I'm a crack, if I'm if I'm addicted to crack rock, like my life significantly looks bad.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like it doesn't, like people people do some crazy things on that.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas masturbation is one of those things that we can hide pretty well, and it just eats us from the inside out.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a cancer.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean I I think it's one of those things that you you you have to yeah, you have to it it's it's a conversation starter because it's not like we're gonna go and go like, you know, hey, hey Kyle, are you struggling with masturbation?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's not like a general conversation we come up with, but I know for me in my life, it seems to come up with people bringing this.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it should be.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we just say hey to a buddy, like, hey, are you struggling with this?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's go to coffee.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, number one question is gonna be do you struggle with masturbation?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's awkward because it is a secret shame, and everybody always thinks, well, I'm not hurting anyone, right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is just something I'm doing myself, but you are hurting you and your relationship with the Lord because it we are clearly told to not do those things and to honor God in those ways.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where you go, like, it's not that bad.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's not that bad.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody does it.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that big of a deal.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so that's never the argument to sin.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, just because everybody else does it, I can do this.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so, I mean, and it does lead, it does lead to chaos and destruction.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: People don't think it does, but like there was just a news article this weekend where uh a school board member in the state of Michigan was masturbating in the park looking at a woman at like a playground and he got arrested and his whole life's ruined.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you're like, Well, that doesn't, you know, that's weird.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but that started with something in private that he's done many, many times that eventually like probably didn't get the same thrill because he's you know, you need more dopamine, more dopamine, you need more interest.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so now, look, he's in the park and now he's his whole life's ruined because of an addiction that he didn't get control over and got control over him.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think we need to be careful that this can lead to chaos and destruction in your life, and it can ruin your marriage, it can ruin your future marriages.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I've had plenty of people who can't have intimacy in marriage because of so much masturbation in the past, they get married, they think, oh, it's gonna be great.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, Oh, I can't, I can't enjoy this without porn.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And they've like, now they can't enjoy their spouse, and that's a that's a real thing, and it happens all the time that I have that conversation.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be able to figure out how to walk through that because it creates unreal expectations, it creates all kinds of problems and physical attraction issues, so there's all kinds of stuff.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, there's a couple other things at play here.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like I've heard you say many times before that your spouse should be your standard of beauty, that that should be the person that you're looking to and saying, okay, if I'm trying to find like an image of the person who is just perfect, the one that I think is beauty, that that needs to be your spouse, that that needs to kind of be that number one go-to person.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: And if you are constantly looking at all of these other images and all of these other women or men or whatever the situation might be, you are no longer reserving that for your spouse.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: But in addition to that, the reason I feel like this conversation and this topic is so taboo is because we look at it and we're like, well, we know that this is a problem that exists for everyone.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: But most people would look at pastors and be like, Well, that's a conversation they're probably only having with teenagers.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, because adults don't talk about it.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the only reason why is usually adults aren't getting.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like this is the teenager sin.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's an everybody's sin.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not 70% of teenagers, it's probably 100% of teenagers, close to, but it's this 70% of men, adult men of all ages.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like in a certain age range.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we've I've had people come to me in their 70s and it's a struggle.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: So like the reality is, yeah, maybe your your body parts don't work the same way, but it's still a struggle.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And like, you know, we need we need to just be transparent about it and help each other through and just say, hey, this is a real issue that affects people.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let's navigate it.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling, go find someone to talk to.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just say I'm struggling.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: It maybe, maybe you need to confess to your spouse.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: I've found that that's not always the right person first, because some spouses get super offended because they think that you don't, right?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And like then they get really upset and they get hurt and they get defeated because, like, why don't you love me?
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you find me beautiful or handsome enough?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So go find that friend who you can trust.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Go find that pastor, you can say, I'm struggling, I need to get a plan.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And to have success.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that plan's gonna take a lot of work because this is an addiction that's for some have been going on for decades.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you're not gonna just defeat it tomorrow.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to get an intentional strategic plan to get to a success at some point, and you can have success.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: We have many people walking around church that have have have defeated this, at least for a time, because this is something that can always flare up the rest of your life.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: So um, just so just be encouraged.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is something that every one of us has struggled with in our past.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Every I think every every pastor we've ever talked to has had a real struggle with it at some point, and so and they've had to get to a place of defeating it.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so we've had success in defeating these things.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: We can try to help you with strategies that work in the same ways in in our own lives and others' lives.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: So good luck.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Tell somebody and move forward.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: We'll catch you in the next episode of Huddles That Question.